July 31, 2007

Sweet Beatdown
— Rich "Psycho" Giamboni

This other blogging feller thinks it's me here, dropping the shitthammer on this squirmy punk acting like a clown in a convenience store. A very Ken Shamrock-like shithammer, if I do say so myself.

Wish I could take credit, bro. But you know, my dickhead PO doesn't let me leave the state, so of course I never do. Never. I sure want to be in full compliance with the terms of my parole. Nothin' makes me happier than doing exactly what my fucknutted PO wants me to do.

And I sure wouldn't stop at a convenience store on my way back from an out-of-state Indian casino for some Luckys, Suzy-Qs, and face-kicks.

And that's the name of that tune.

Posted by: Rich "Psycho" Giamboni at 09:20 PM | Comments (53)
Post contains 123 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Saw that, that guy was a moron being overconfident.

Posted by: Kaitain at July 31, 2007 09:32 PM (4ep6C)

2

Of course, looking at that video more closely, Rich, there is absolutely no way that could possibly be you and I will swear to that in court.  I was mistaken.  Silly me!


PS Can I talk to my kids now?


Posted by: See-Dubya at July 31, 2007 09:34 PM (DbZC0)

3 That's hilarious.

Posted by: someone at July 31, 2007 09:42 PM (eCH82)

4 Lame...

Posted by: thebronze at July 31, 2007 09:43 PM (8zsLf)

5

Now that's a Rich "Psycho" Giovani post.TM


Oh, and "thebronze"?  Yeah, that fairy boy ace gave you props for having a cool nic.


But don't think that being ace's fav number one friend means jack to Rich.


Don't make a maniac out of him...


Posted by: Rich "Psycho" Giamboni schtick superfan at July 31, 2007 10:47 PM (5oRVX)

6 the guy in the vid looks like Hugh Jackman to me.

Posted by: JeepThang at August 01, 2007 01:36 AM (itFft)

7 Only thing better would be if a baseball bat was used.

Posted by: Paladin at August 01, 2007 03:26 AM (ZO0u/)

8 Of course it wasn't "Little" Dickie Giamboni, he's a fucking midget!

Posted by: Don Carne at August 01, 2007 03:32 AM (wSNS7)

9

>>the guy in the vid looks like Hugh Jackman to me.


The guy taking the beating looked more like a Hugh Jassole.


Posted by: Tushar D at August 01, 2007 03:41 AM (IlgNp)

10 Why does Rich so frighteningly resemble. "jake the snake" Roberts of wrestling lore?

Posted by: Lance at August 01, 2007 03:45 AM (gHwlO)

11 Nice work Rich. But no DDT?

Posted by: 3rd_Bird at August 01, 2007 04:07 AM (tMwd6)

12 Mmm mmmm, that's some good smackdown.  Somehow, I don't think the clerk thought it was lame at the time.

Posted by: OU_Gryphon at August 01, 2007 04:19 AM (HUjun)

13 That young guy is going to have nightmares about Hostess Snack Cakes for the rest of his life.

Posted by: adolfo_velasquez at August 01, 2007 04:32 AM (Ywp6f)

14 Greatest shit I have ever seen, EVAR! That punk got rocked so hard. Mr. Giamboni, I don't know what you look like so I don't know if you're telling the truth, or just being modest. In the case that that was actually you, you are one bad-ass motherfucker.

Awesome.

Posted by: reb kittridge at August 01, 2007 04:42 AM (QbDyq)

15 Come on, Rich.  Admit it was you.  We'll all feel so much better knowing you are protecting us out there (by we I mean those of us in retail).

Posted by: otcconan at August 01, 2007 04:43 AM (ZRp7/)

Posted by: Dave in Texas at August 01, 2007 04:57 AM (KOnQh)

17 huh....so its not just my PO who's a fucknutt huh?

Posted by: Nico at August 01, 2007 04:59 AM (51ePm)

18 Not to sound suspicious, I'm just curious:  the camera work looks hand-held, as if someone was sitting up above and behind the cashier, recording the incident.  How did they know something was going to happen in order to start recording?

(Hypothesis:  the moron had been in before making threats.)

Also, the beat-down badass could be the store manager, or the manager's cousin just back from badass school.  Hence the bossing around of the clerk and the understandable desire to kick the shit out of a robber.

Posted by: Trimegistus at August 01, 2007 05:10 AM (E6iLd)

19 My thoughts exactly.  I've never seen real security camera footage that shaky, or that panned and zoomed to where the action was without somebody controlling the camera -- and I doubt having a full-time camera operator is within the security budget of your average Sevvy; they usually just mount a few fixed ones.  I call staged.  Staged but excellent.

Posted by: Alex at August 01, 2007 05:17 AM (QrpD7)

20 I like how at 2:43 the clerk is trying to help out with the beatdown by offering Rich a feather duster.

Posted by: a4g at August 01, 2007 05:19 AM (bfr28)

21 Thank you. Come again.

Posted by: JackStraw at August 01, 2007 05:33 AM (t+mja)

22

The camera may be motion activated, I guess, to pan up.


Rich stuffed the kid in the nuts pretty good. The kid now has the proverbial mindtesticles, as Rich drove the little shits nutsack right up and through his larynx. Note his classic follow-through on that sack-punt, too.


Impressive.


 


Posted by: spongeworthy at August 01, 2007 05:40 AM (uSomN)

23 I think the camera work looks handheld because they made the clip by pointing a camera at a monitor that was playing back the footage.

Posted by: steve_in_hb at August 01, 2007 05:42 AM (7FHPf)

24 The only way that this would have been sweeter is if the shitbird had been a hobo.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 01, 2007 05:50 AM (tVbxd)

25

Thanks for that clarification Steve. 


The camera seemed to follow the action a little too closely to be a mounted security monitor--I thought the thing was staged, but wouldn't dare suggest such a thing to Psycho Giamboni.


Posted by: kevlarchick at August 01, 2007 06:55 AM (TNuqz)

26 Is it just me, or is there a moment there where it looks like the clerk handed the guy a feather duster?

Posted by: Wickedpinto at August 01, 2007 06:58 AM (QTv8u)

27

wonder where they dumped the body?  Looks like they took it out back.


 


Posted by: Paladin at August 01, 2007 07:08 AM (AfORa)

28 Not a beat down, but a sweet throw down over at michaels place.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at August 01, 2007 07:08 AM (QTv8u)

29

That was a good old fashioned ass whippin'. That punk was fetal within 20 seconds of the initial front kick to the chest.


 


Nice.


Posted by: fugazi at August 01, 2007 07:12 AM (7Wgi9)

30

That guy's gonna need a wallet shoved in his mouth.


Posted by: kjm at August 01, 2007 07:23 AM (7ODKm)

31 HAH!

Posted by: Wickedpinto at August 01, 2007 07:24 AM (QTv8u)

32 ...WP channels lauraw.

Posted by: davis,br at August 01, 2007 07:28 AM (5xoMO)

33 OT: Ace, I'm dying to read what you have to say about the TNR going on vacation story on HotAir right now.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at August 01, 2007 07:28 AM (tVbxd)

34

The panning is due to the fact that they are video taping a monitor (you can see the edge of the monitor and even hear the guys doing the recording at one point).  I'm inclined to believe that the guy who opened up the supersized can of whoop ass was an employee due to the fact that the clerk kept trying to give him stuff to use to beat the punks ass and the fact that the asswhooper started cleaning up a little bit after he drug the punk off screen.  In fact looks to me like the clerk must not have hit the panic button because usually the cops will respond pretty quickly to those (I had to hit a few during my midnight to 9am gas station attendent years and everytime the cops were there within two or three minutes).  Instead it seems possible that the clerk called the asskicker to come down and beat the guys ass.  Just a theory but that whole scene went on an awful long time without the police showing up if the clerk actually hit the panic button. 


I sincerely believe that the extra kicks to the body/groin after the guy was down and out, the partial bodyslam of the motionless punk and the grand flying chest kick entrance make this man the greatest american hero since the 80 year old Marine who killed the punk in South America. 


 


Posted by: Big E at August 01, 2007 07:28 AM (uw1/g)

35 I got it from her actually, I used to do the descending HEHEhehehe, but thats just gay, so I decided to butch up and be like LauraW.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at August 01, 2007 07:29 AM (QTv8u)

36 Is it just me, or is there a moment there where it looks like the clerk handed the guy a feather duster?

Not only that, but the guy then uses it to dust the safety glass for a bit (at 3:10), then throws it aside to continue the kicking before he drags the punk outside.

If it were me, I would have given the punk a little "kitchy kitchy koo" to his nose with it also, just for that little extra bit of humiliation.

Posted by: Alex at August 01, 2007 07:45 AM (fgyj8)

37

That was Smeaton-esque!


Posted by: Lipstick at August 01, 2007 07:53 AM (3y+L6)

38 Oooooooh Lipstick that needs to enter the lexicon.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at August 01, 2007 08:00 AM (QTv8u)

39 Damnit!!!! a4g noticed it first, but their comment was so short I jumped over it, sorry for stealing your thunder a4g.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at August 01, 2007 08:01 AM (QTv8u)

40 You da man, WP.

Posted by: a4g at August 01, 2007 08:09 AM (bfr28)

41 Thanks a4g, I noticed the feather duster right off the bat, and actually watched for someone commenting on it, and I completely overlooked you.  You need a longer pseudonymn. 

Posted by: Wickedpinto at August 01, 2007 08:14 AM (QTv8u)

42

gah, I'm back at work and can't watch it again.  So, a question, and a theory.


Does the camera movement end after the guy goes all Bruce Lee on the asshole?  Cause it looked like a ceiling mounted PTZ (pan tilt zoom) camera.


With newer DVR security systems, it's very common to provide a set of controls that lets you reposition the camera.  I am guessing Kwai Chang Caine was an employee (or owner) in the back room, using that control until he decided he'd had enough of this guy trashing his store, and came out to deliver the A-1 smackdown.  His picking up stuff after beating this asshole to the ground seems to indicate that.


I suppose the guy behind the counter could have operated the camera during round 4, so I guess the thing to look for is "does the camera move when you can see both store guys"?


 


Just a theory.


Posted by: Dave in Texas at August 01, 2007 08:26 AM (KOnQh)

43 We'll set aboot you

Posted by: Lipstick at August 01, 2007 09:04 AM (3y+L6)

44

DiT,


In all likeliehood it was a small fixed camera, using a multi-feed mux, to allow several view's, and can't be translated from the tape to electronic with any simplicity, so they just taped the chosen "main" image.


(worked at sensormatic as a "tenchnical security specialist." for a while)


Posted by: Wickedpinto at August 01, 2007 10:19 AM (QTv8u)

45 Oh, the reason that last comment was applicable is because, this was likely recorded on digicam after the fact.

Posted by: Wickedpinto at August 01, 2007 10:20 AM (QTv8u)

46 "Wonder where they dumped the body? Looks like they took it out back."


Where do you think convenience store "beef" jerky and hot dogs come from?


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