August 29, 2005
— Ace Okay, for legal reasons, and for truthful reasons, I'll just say that the guy that the NY Daily News is suggesting might be the caught-on-camera subway onanist doesn't really look all that much like the owner of this New York restaurant.
Turns out one of the restaurants owned by the guy is located in a neighborhood I spend a lot of time in.
In the previous post on this, Scott noted in the comments...
[From the witness' statement:] "I saw him massaging himself and then he unzipped and pulled it out. I thought, 'I can't believe he's doing this in the middle of the day!' "
No Pocket Pool Before 9:00 PM!
I love New York!
Good stuff. "I can't believe he's doing this in the middle of the day."
Well, as people who drink before 5pm sometimes say, "It has to be the right time to publicly masturbate somewhere in the world!"
10. Come on, didn't you ever see Risky Business?
9. I swear, officer, my penis told me it was 18 years old.
8. Did you see the way that subway car was dressed? It was asking for it. I'm just a man, after all.
7. First we can't smoke in bars, and now this?! Great! Welcome to Berlin on the Hudson! Sieg Heil!
6. It wasn't masturbating, it was practicing. I'm just getting ready make up a new batch of chipolte hand rolls.
5. I'm sorry, I didn't know that was frowned upon. Do you have a special car where it's allowed...? I know they do on San Fransisco's BART.
4. Ever have that not-so-fresh feeling? Sometimes you've got to air that bad boy out.
3. I was just checking for ticks. It's Lyme season, you know.
2. It's a protest against the Iraq War. I call my penis "Cock Casey."
...and the Number One Excuse For Being Photographed While Masturbating On A Subway...
1. Oh, and where do you do it? Your bathroom? Well, pardon the hell out of me for not being a toilet-freak, sickie.
Posted by: Russell Wardlow at August 29, 2005 01:26 PM (v675M)
Posted by: at August 29, 2005 01:42 PM (ipjUv)
Sort of odd, that you would know that, ace.
And if you spend a lot of time in the neighborhood, please tell me you don't eat fofu or whatever that shit is called.
Posted by: at August 29, 2005 02:02 PM (9DYP0)
Posted by: madne0 at August 29, 2005 02:33 PM (Ll3Hg)
Posted by: Sharp as a Marble at August 29, 2005 03:57 PM (VxPRK)
Posted by: at August 29, 2005 04:01 PM (9DYP0)
Posted by: BrewFan at August 29, 2005 04:07 PM (95UaF)
Posted by: at August 29, 2005 04:16 PM (9DYP0)
Posted by: Dianna at August 29, 2005 04:33 PM (ql6J6)
Posted by: digitalbrownshirt at August 29, 2005 05:06 PM (ipjUv)
Posted by: Tony at August 29, 2005 07:17 PM (dYcZw)
That it’s no thrill at all
And you should be ashamed
If ever you’re blamed
For flinging your jigger
They told me at the time
If I did, that I’d go blind
And my palm would then grow hair
If I should ever dare
To fling my jigger
I should have never climbed that pole
And slid back down……reeaalll sloooooow
but I surely did - and got a thrill
From then on I couldn’t get my fill
Of flinging my jigger
Now I go for my daily jog
Led by my seeing eye dog
And every day I shave my palms
But I tell you, I have no qualms
‘Cause I still fling my jigger.
Posted by: rls at August 30, 2005 04:39 AM (Lh7Vt)
Hmmm ... me too ACE. Wanna meet me behind Umbertos Calm Bar?
Posted by: wretched refuse at August 30, 2005 11:06 AM (dhRpo)
Posted by: wretched refuse at August 30, 2005 11:08 AM (dhRpo)
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