July 30, 2006

Stop posting this silly shit [Thomas Jefferson]
— Ace

You morons. For the love of the Deity whomever it/he/she might be.

jefferson.jpg

Many of you love reading my quotations, and it is to your education and betterment as human beings and Americans that you do. I thought I'd take advantage of the moment and share some of my personal best.

On government.

The best form of government that has ever been devised for protecting the rights of the people has been found to be the republican form. While not perfect, it nevertheless gives a voice to the people and allows them to correct the course of government when they find it completely sucking ass.

The only orthodox object of the institution of government is to secure the greatest degree of happiness possible to the general mass of those associated under it. The grumpy asses will just have to deal.

The freedom and happiness of man... [are] the sole objects of all legitimate government. Ride, Sally ride.

On justice.

Law is often but the tyrant's will, and always so when it violates the right of an individual. Never draw to an inside straight... that's just crazy.

An equal application of law to every condition of man is fundamental. An equal application of Gold Bond powder to a rashy rash will cure a man's rash behavior and that right quick.

On war.

Peace and friendship with all mankind is our wisest policy, and I wish we may be permitted to pursue it. But the temper and folly of our enemies may not leave this in our choice. If that comes to be, f*&@ them over and be quick about it.

'Retribution for the past, and piling on for the future,' is our motto.

War. Huh!, good God y'all, what is it good for? Absolutely nuthin, say it again!


I've enjoyed sharing these thoughts with you, and wish you all peace and prosperity, my fellow Americans.

UPDATE: Yes, this is a good one. Commenter "The Drizzle" apparently has the latest revision of Stuff I Said.

I really did say this too.

"You know, my worst fear is not that the Republic we have birthed will fail: My worst fear is that douchebags will constantly say that I said stupid shit I never fucking said".

From: "A letter to Ben Franklin by Thomas Jefferson"

Posted by The Drizzle at July 30, 2006 10:58 PM

Posted by: Ace at 05:18 PM | Comments (15)
Post contains 399 words, total size 2 kb.

1 That's just sick. I loooooooved it.

Posted by: JorgXMckie at July 30, 2006 05:23 PM (f02nH)

2 Nah, this does not top Diet Coke and Mentos.  Only pool-blogging can challenge me now.

Posted by: Michael at July 30, 2006 05:32 PM (xTnLp)

3 And by the way, you stole the "ride, Sally, ride" line from me.

Posted by: Michael at July 30, 2006 05:35 PM (xTnLp)

4 Our thanks to Thomas Jefferson. Or, as Alexander Hamilton was fond of calling him, Moonbat One.

Posted by: KM at July 30, 2006 05:50 PM (2oREX)

5 You can't steal a line from you that Wilson Pickett wrote, you dork.

Posted by: Thomas Jefferson at July 30, 2006 05:53 PM (uRBBE)

6 I thought that was you cashing all those royalty cheques, TJ.

Posted by: Paul in Iowa at July 30, 2006 05:56 PM (MD7dJ)

7

What then, should all men disarm so that peace may prevail?  'Tis most meet that all disarm but me, that I might more quickly dispatch your sorry asses.


Thomas Jefferson


Posted by: Brett Bullington at July 30, 2006 05:57 PM (/QYGF)

8 "You know, my worst fear is not that the Republic we have birthed will fail: My worst fear is that douchebags will constantly say that I said stupid shit I never fucking said".

From: "A letter to Ben Franklin by Thomas Jefferson"

Posted by: The Drizzle at July 30, 2006 05:58 PM (ggiWs)

9

You can't steal a line from you that Wilson Pickett wrote, you dork.


C'mon.  It was me that connected the song to Sally Heming, and you know it.


Posted by: Michael at July 30, 2006 06:06 PM (xTnLp)

10

'Tis quite firmly established among men of the better sort that only a right brigand blackguard would define his worth by seeking victory over others through the effiminate and unseemly practice of haiku.


 


"Stuff Jefferson said to Wiserbud," 3rd Ed., Rev.


Posted by: Brett Bullington at July 30, 2006 06:07 PM (/QYGF)

11 Perfect!!!! Absolutely wonderful!....Ride Sally Ride..thats my favorite Jefferson Quote.

Posted by: Robert at July 30, 2006 06:24 PM (so4eT)

12 Tom, you need to add Drizzle's comment to the post as an update...

Posted by: cat4amt at July 30, 2006 07:01 PM (3quZI)

13

Perfect!!!! Absolutely wonderful!....Ride Sally Ride..thats my favorite Jefferson Quote.


See what I mean, Dave?  That was me.  Thought you owned the franchise, didn't you.


 


Posted by: Michael at July 30, 2006 07:25 PM (xTnLp)

14 What would our founding fathers think of a goverment that steals a persons property to save a trash fish or a bug or to confiscate a persons property and give it to another so that can build a cassino? they would have them polticians ousted

Posted by: spurwing plover at July 31, 2006 04:16 AM (760E/)

15 George Washington slept everywhere but his own damn bed; Thomas Jefferson wouldn't shut up, Gouvernor Morris wanted to do things with his wooden leg that made Marie Antoinette blush. What the hell was wrong with these periwigged freaks?

Posted by: richard mcenroe at July 31, 2006 03:21 PM (w+ipT)

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