January 31, 2009

Shameless Thieving Fucking Cockbites
— LauraW

I can't even...I...I....O [NYQT9-ARV #569RUY JKF

Thanks to Intellectual Redneck. I think.

Posted by: LauraW at 10:47 AM | Comments (79)
Post contains 20 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Fuck afghanistan. Surge D.C.

Posted by: richard mcenroe at January 31, 2009 10:52 AM (DBS+D)

2 Well, LauraW, calling our enlightened betters in Congress that approve of this "shameless thieving fucking cockbites" is giving shameless thieving fucking cockbites a bad name.



Posted by: mitthrawnurdo at January 31, 2009 10:55 AM (otlXg)

3 Note to DC porkers:

Beware The Hump

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 31, 2009 10:55 AM (MKNSy)

4 Tar

Feathers.

Railroad ties.


Some assembly required.

Posted by: Techie at January 31, 2009 10:56 AM (906oR)

5 You will be hearing from my attorney.

Posted by: Shameless Thieving Fucking Cockbite at January 31, 2009 10:56 AM (DbybK)

6 Anybody want to storm the Bastille with me?

Posted by: Ginger at January 31, 2009 10:58 AM (Tsgco)

7 Get this out and the porkulus package is doomed.

Posted by: nickless at January 31, 2009 10:58 AM (MMC8r)

8 Shameless Thieving Fucking Cockbite Liars There you have it. Congress for dummies 101.

Posted by: Krazy Kat at January 31, 2009 10:58 AM (K4Zxt)

9

Does the money come with a wheelbarrow?

They're really, really counting on us being peaceful about all this, don't they?

Posted by: Jimmy at January 31, 2009 10:59 AM (/Ft4q)

10 The best part is we'll just keep taking it right in the ass after we get done bitching and moaning about it.

Posted by: ECM at January 31, 2009 11:01 AM (q3V+C)

11 Anybody want to storm the Bastille with me?

Sure. But I refuse to wear culottes.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 31, 2009 11:02 AM (MKNSy)

12 Leslie Marshall makes my skin crawl....I  can't stand listening to her.
  Anyhoo...... 11 days into this presidency with our Democrat overlords and it's not looking good.  I look forward to a good, old fashioned people's revolt w/pitchforks & torches.

Posted by: Nurse Cheri at January 31, 2009 11:02 AM (cz6lG)

13 Why yes indeed they are smoking crack, while they ass rape us and don't even give a reach around.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 31, 2009 11:03 AM (Ygf78)

14 Congress also got a 4k a year raise now a 90k petty cash raise. We seriously need a tax revolt in this country.

Posted by: Jubal Anderson Early at January 31, 2009 11:03 AM (krKUp)

15 Why does everyone keep ignoring me about the lube?

Posted by: alexthechick at January 31, 2009 11:03 AM (DMkhn)

16 Blood is nature's lubricant.

Posted by: ECM at January 31, 2009 11:04 AM (q3V+C)

17 Sign me up for the revolution. I'm fucking serious.

Posted by: Ginger at January 31, 2009 11:06 AM (Tsgco)

18 "It's for spending on their constituents"

Yes, lap dancers and crack dealers work in a cash only business. I'm sure their constituents in Bangkok will appreciate the cash infusions too.

I know we put these shitheads into office, can't God take them out?

Posted by: kbdabear at January 31, 2009 11:07 AM (miw86)

19 WTF? They're acting as if they actually want to be on the receiving end of an armed revolution. Who are we to deny them their wants?

We're gonna need LOTS of rope.

Posted by: Bruce at January 31, 2009 11:08 AM (+Mc2f)

20

My husband just gutted my Anger Management Therapy Puppet and threw her severed head up on the roof.

She was saying terrible, terrible things.

Posted by: lauraw at January 31, 2009 11:11 AM (XWJh5)

21 93 K ?...........on top of how much ? What did they get before ?

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 31, 2009 11:11 AM (d0YiG)

22 I know we put these shitheads into office, can't God take them out?

I have a default election process when filling out the ballot.

Always vote against the Donk candidate
Always vote no on ballot initiatives

I only violate these two rules under the most extraordinary circumstances.

I've decided to add another rule.

Always vote against the incumbent.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 31, 2009 11:12 AM (MKNSy)

23 Sign me up for the revolution. I'm fucking serious. posted by Ginger
----------------------------------------------------

Me too.  How can we endure 4 years of this?

Posted by: Nurse Cheri at January 31, 2009 11:12 AM (cz6lG)

24 Obama on Thursday scolded Wall Street bankers who received millions of dollars in bonuses last year, calling the payouts “shameful” and chiding the executives for a lack of personal responsibility at a precarious time for the nation's economy. *

“There will be time for them to make profits, and there will be time for them to get bonuses,” Obama said. “Now's not that time. And that's a message that I intend to send directly to them.” *

----

* dislaimer: this standard applies to all people with the exception of President Asshole and his corrupt cronies

People in glass houses shouldn't throw boulders. Ok President Hypocrisy and lawmakers in Washington, explain this one you worthless pieces of shit!

Posted by: go to hell at January 31, 2009 11:13 AM (hphNR)

25 I see no problem here.

Posted by: Marie Antoinette at January 31, 2009 11:17 AM (ltwze)

26 The tipping point for revolution, armed or otherwise, has historically been about 33%. Get 1/3 of the population violently stirred up, and you run a serious risk of being out on your ass in one way or another. Right now, they (being "Those Who Know Best" are buying off the cities with bread and circuses, but it can't last. We're already dangerously close to that critical 33%, and when the producers in this country (read: small businesses and local franchisees) are finally driven under, well... Look at it this way, who funded the Revolution? Think on that.

Oh, and if/when we start taking serious losses because our military is being slashed to the bone (remember, 10% is just the start), expect a lot of disgruntled veterans who want their country back to come knocking.

Posted by: Militant Bibliophile at January 31, 2009 11:18 AM (bl4xn)

27 Well this kind of thing actually amuses me because its one more example of the unbelievable arrogance in the Democratic Party. Look the GOP acted like arrogant jerks when they had two of the branches taken over, but they never were this bad, these guys are just convinced they have all the support they need for anything, no matter what. They're gonna be so disliked and ugly by 2010 it will be a bloodbath. So bring it on... and spread the word, folks.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at January 31, 2009 11:19 AM (PQY7w)

28 Where's the Love?

Posted by: solitary knight at January 31, 2009 11:19 AM (K0K3N)

29 I was only 14 in the 94 congressional elections, so I may be foggy on my memory. Wasn't this the type of behavior that got the Republicans control of the House?

Posted by: Ginger at January 31, 2009 11:21 AM (Tsgco)

30 People in glass houses shouldn't throw boulders. Ok President Hypocrisy and lawmakers in Washington, explain this one you worthless pieces of shit!
 
And sitting next to him was Turbo-Geithner who received a $435,000. severance package from the Fed.Reserve Bank of New York on top of his $411,000 salary of last year.  

God, I'am such a worthless ho.  Here I'm the same age as Obama & Geithner and I've never come close to that kind of green.  I've just worked, raised kids, and paid taxes like a dummy.

Posted by: Nurse Cheri at January 31, 2009 11:22 AM (cz6lG)

31 1.4 Million for petty cash is something I have never heard of before. 

Posted by: scott at January 31, 2009 11:23 AM (XWJh5)

32 I have to look this up but I saw it on some news show last week when this came out. One congressman just slashes his operating expenses and doesn't take the increase when it comes out. He them gives the extra money they give him back to treasury

Posted by: Jubal Anderson Early at January 31, 2009 11:25 AM (krKUp)

33 We gonna need a bigger refrigerator...

Posted by: Congress at January 31, 2009 11:25 AM (DBS+D)

34 Oh, and how does this petty cash thing work?  Can you call up your Rep. and ask for some money and they'll send some over?  You know, to help a constituent?   Is there some kind of form to fill out?

Posted by: Nurse Cheri at January 31, 2009 11:26 AM (cz6lG)

35 In the beginning days of 1789, Congress was paid only $6 a day, which would be about $75 daily by modern standards. But by 1965 members were receiving $30,000 a year, which is the modern equivalent of about $195,000. Currently the average lawmaker makes $169,300 a year, with leadership making slightly more. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) makes $217,400, while the minority and majority leaders in the House and Senate make $188,100.

Posted by: Jubal Anderson Early at January 31, 2009 11:28 AM (krKUp)

36 It's a precautionary measure . They're preparing for the hyperinflation .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at January 31, 2009 11:30 AM (d0YiG)

37 "Me too.  How can we endure 4 years of this?"

2 weeks in, Nurse Cheri. Now This.

Posted by: sickinmass at January 31, 2009 11:34 AM (/i4dU)

38 A local Congressman has given back more than $1 million to the Federal Treasury to help reduce national debt. Representative Ron Kind says every year he has been in office, he returns a large portion of his office operating budget to help cut down on the deficit. This year he gave back more than $82,000, bringing his eleven year total to more than $1 million. Congressman Kind says he introduced legislation in the past which says the money saved from office budgets can only be used to reduce the national debt. "With the current economic state we are in, a lot of people have to tighten their belts. Whether it's family budgets, whether it's businesses. But it's especially true when it comes to the Federal Government," said Ron Kind. Congressman Kind says his office watches how much they spend on salaries and how many mailings they do in a year.

Posted by: Jubal Anderson Early at January 31, 2009 11:34 AM (krKUp)

39 This is going better than expected.  The Magic Negro and his wife James Brown are fucking up daily, making my job as the Grand Inquisitor much easier.  When D-Day arrives, and I call O'Bambi, Pelosi, Reed, and the rest before the People's Tribunal, pray to God these is enough rope to go around. 

Posted by: Dick Cheney's Dick at January 31, 2009 11:36 AM (CG+cG)

40 Magnet bank..Utah
Ocala National bank..Fla
Bank of Essex..Va
Suburban Federal Savings..Md
Closed! 225 Million$$ FDIC
Is pitchforks enough? Locusts?
I'm with Ginger!

Posted by: sickinmass at January 31, 2009 11:40 AM (/i4dU)

41 Everyone here is being far too gentle and restrained.

Posted by: annoyamouse at January 31, 2009 11:57 AM (wPRKf)

42

The whole "I have dirt on you that isn't known, so you better cover for me and not rat me out" approach of sourrounding himself with equally corrupt and ethically challenged people won't work forever.

Any odds on Bodog yet of who will be his "Sammy the Bull"? If not, Ace should start a pool!

Posted by: go to hell at January 31, 2009 11:58 AM (hphNR)

43 We seriously need our own version of the million man march.

Posted by: Ginger at January 31, 2009 12:00 PM (Tsgco)

44 "The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money"   Margaret Thatcher


This bunch wants to put that to the test.



Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 31, 2009 12:03 PM (OCJ/T)

45 41 : I agree. Fuck them....these goddamn mother-fucking parasitic worthless pieces of human shit who the sheeple of this country continue to vote for.

I really feel like that since November 4th we've been living in the fucking twilight zone. Just the shit that's gone down since Chairman Obamao assumed office has been un-fucking-believable. And now this. At what point will we the people, take back this country and give these beings their just rewards. I just don't see how we can survive 4 years of this shit.

Posted by: theadmiral at January 31, 2009 12:05 PM (zNl33)

46 I was only 14 in the 94 congressional elections, so I may be foggy on my memory. Wasn't this the type of behavior that got the Republicans control of the House?

Indeed. But what happened after that is that the cockholster Republicans immediately started acting like Democrats: that is, spending tax dollars like sailors in a whorehouse, treating the public treasury like a 16-year-old rich girl with daddy's credit cards, and (some of them) stuffing their pockets full of money when they thought no one was looking. The deserved to be thrown out on their asses in 2006 and good riddance to them.

And it looks like the Democrats haven't learned from this. Goody.

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 31, 2009 12:17 PM (XUV9W)

47 Ginger..
Million Moron March?
It's easier herding cats as Andy would say.

Posted by: sickinmass at January 31, 2009 12:22 PM (/i4dU)

48 sickinmass -- all you gotta do is tell them to stay the fuck out of Washington on such and such a date. You'll be hip deep.

Posted by: richard mcenroe at January 31, 2009 12:33 PM (DBS+D)

49 Hang the fuckers. Hang every goddamn one of them.

Posted by: Matt at January 31, 2009 12:44 PM (QWvhN)

50 Do you remember how the mad scientist who proclaimed the end was near was also the only guy building a spaceship to leave? I'll believe we're in an economic crisis when these guys start acting like we're in one!

Posted by: DaveA at January 31, 2009 12:44 PM (Ky+0U)

51 Looks like we're gonna need a bigger Roomba.

Posted by: sherlock at January 31, 2009 12:46 PM (8V5Ut)

52 Pelosi needs clean needles every time she shoots her face up with her magic cream,and those needles are not cheap.

Posted by: ford at January 31, 2009 12:50 PM (Ki7fm)

53 Hot Damn, Sherlock!

Posted by: sickinmass at January 31, 2009 01:00 PM (/i4dU)

54 We seriously need our own version of the million man march.

The Million Moron March? (Hobos optional).

Posted by: PA Cat at January 31, 2009 01:02 PM (Oc7bG)

55 "Jubal Anderson Early at January 31, 2009 04:34 PM (krKUp)"

Kind's my congressman, we're mostly a rural farming region and this plays well to most people around here. That said, don't mistake him for some fiscal conservative Democrat, he's about as far left as you can get. He will stay a congressman just like all the rest, by scaring old people that the evil Republicans will force them to eat catfood and by bringing home the pork. His payback from his operating budget is purely politics.

Posted by: lowandslow at January 31, 2009 01:02 PM (JV2V8)

56

What's that?

Did someone just say "Let them eat cake"?

No?

I would swear I heard someone say that.

My mistake.

Posted by: jmflynny at January 31, 2009 01:17 PM (Wv7vH)

57 #55....I'm sure he's like most politicians when it comes to saving his seat. The rotten ones are just rotten, at least this guy is rotten while trying to save us a couple bucks.

Posted by: Jubal Anderson Early at January 31, 2009 01:18 PM (krKUp)

58 I wondered why I'd been feeling so dizzy and weak. I blamed a sinus infection. Turns out someone from Washington DC was sneaking into my apartment and siphoning off my blood as I slept.

Posted by: Andrea Harris at January 31, 2009 01:20 PM (vLf8O)

59 I'm seriously fucking in on the moron march/rebellion/pitchforkapaloosa! Been unemployed since my job TEXTED ME, while I was in the hospital for a MONTH with chronic viral meningitis, that they were going to CUT MY JOB!! Oh, yeah, I'm fucking ready. Sitting here struggling and reading about these greedy fucks makes me want to either poke my eyes out or MARCH ON WASHINGTON!! I've had it with these self-righteous asshats voting money OUT OF MY POCKET AND RIGHT IN TO THEIRS!! (putting on my jacket and good walking shoes)

Posted by: Tider1701 at January 31, 2009 01:22 PM (pSaqU)

60 "I'm fucking serious."

Woo-hoo!

But more to the point, I'm right there with you on the revolution front. Our government has become institutionalized criminality... moreso than I've ever seen.

Posted by: Serious at January 31, 2009 01:26 PM (sI5Ho)

61

I've got a wheelbarrow and buckets of pennies. Since they're determimined to get every friggin last cent we have, I feel like wheeling the lot of it into D.c. and dumping them on the fucking steps of the Capitol building.

It's not like a penny, or several hundred of them actually amount to dick these days. Sadly, you can't say much more of the dollar these days either.

Of course, my preference would be to haul in a wheelbarrow full of marbles, pull the fire alarm, and then dump them at the top of the stairs when they run from the building.

Posted by: jmflynny at January 31, 2009 01:27 PM (Wv7vH)

62 They're acting as if they actually want to be on the receiving end of an armed revolution. Who are we to deny them their wants? I hate to be this paranoid about it, but a failed attempt at one would be the perfect excuse for massive gun control, no? Not sure which is worse; being that paranoid about it, or for feeling like that is nowhere near paranoid enough...

Posted by: Tommy Paine IX at January 31, 2009 01:28 PM (bcUVn)

63 Where's that shameless suck Diderot's Dog? Love to hear the talking points on this one.

Posted by: Al at January 31, 2009 01:37 PM (CyBUS)

64 I like the pennies idea.  How about a dump truck full of pennies dropped in the exit of the congressional parking lot on a Friday afternoon.... or at the end of Nancy's driveway.

Posted by: scott at January 31, 2009 01:52 PM (XWJh5)

65 “There will be time for them to make profits, and there will be time for them to get bonuses,” Obama said. “Now's not that time. And that's a message that I intend to send directly to them.” *

Wall Street got the message. The Dow sank 234 points on Thursday and 148 points on Friday, and has lost 9 percent so far in January.

The guys who actually have to put money to work know when they've been sold a turd.

Posted by: kbdabear at January 31, 2009 02:18 PM (miw86)

66 viva la revolution! ... oh wait, that's French and I have no intention on surrendering.

Ace, et al... can we haz a revolution sign up sheet, pleeez?

Time for us to start acting like liberals and burning shit. Preferably starting with DC.

Posted by: Damiano at January 31, 2009 03:29 PM (cfKer)

67   Don't expect anything to change as long as Congress can use our tax dollars to buy votes.  As long as the 52% have bread and circusses they could care less about those of us who have to pay taxes. 

Posted by: BattleofthePyramids at January 31, 2009 04:28 PM (N5LJe)

68 The bastards snuck this shit in right on a weekend for a purpose, too. I plan to push this right back up on Monday with a new safe-for-work headline.

Will you for once be my flying monkeys, guys? I never ask you to do this kind of thing, but I think it's pretty important right now. Will you copy the youtube link from this post and send this video to everyone you know?

It's pretty goddamn important. This shit is outrageous.

I'm pissed beyond belief.

Posted by: lauraw at January 31, 2009 04:31 PM (DbybK)

69 I hate to be this paranoid about it, but a failed attempt at one would be the perfect excuse for massive gun control, no? Not sure which is worse; being that paranoid about it, or for feeling like that is nowhere near paranoid enough...

Posted by: Tommy Paine IX

failed attempt?? "If this be treason , make the most of it" Patrick Henry

Posted by: unamerican libertarian formerly known as e.koenig at January 31, 2009 05:02 PM (2J+Vs)

70 If any of you are mad, get a copy of "Mars Attacks" and rewatch that awesomely beautiful scene where the aliens vaporize congress.  Ah, good times, good times.

Posted by: ron at February 01, 2009 01:32 AM (jXKNA)

71

lauraw:

I'll definitely forward this bit to anyone I can think of!

Posted by: Cowboy at February 01, 2009 01:48 AM (vASnq)

72 Our founding fathers defeated the greatest kingdom on earth using word of mouth. Today we've got the greatest communication tools ever known to man and we'd rather download amputee porn and hobo hunting videos.

I have no hope.

Posted by: dave @ at February 01, 2009 03:37 AM (IwKSD)

73 civil unrest in the name of liberty is no vice,,,,,er will get you killed.

Posted by: random fucker at February 01, 2009 05:11 AM (4wp2c)

74

Great,

 

Everyone got a unicorn but me.  Now they just took my daughter's pony.  Flaming arrows and pitchforks, I'm in.

Posted by: john at February 01, 2009 11:34 AM (bblmr)

75 lauraw, I'll forward this to everyone and tell everyone I can. This is just unbelievable.

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