June 28, 2013

Serious You Guys, Global Warming Is Melting the Streetlights!!11!
— Ace

Damn you, Devil Sun, and your satanic rays.

Think Progress has the story and the big scoop. (Update: The story is from last August. True, but old.)

Meltingstreetlight.jpg

WOW. It’s so hot in Oklahoma that the streetlights are melting. …

Meanwhile, a senator from Oklahoma, James Inhofe (R), is a major climate denier.


Progressives are all tweetin' angry at James Inhofe, who obviously Hates Streetlamps. Why don't you try illuminating the street with your Bible, Lite-H8r!

There is one small update to this major, major scoop:

AOh, wait! More information is coming in about that melting street light! It turns out it melted because it was right next to a dumpster fire:

dumpsterfire_kfor-tv.jpg

Well that's just nitpicking, isn't it?

Or, as GOB Bluth would say, "Yes, but how did the fire start?"

Or, finally, as the Zimmerman Prosecution's star witness would say: "That is real retarded, Sir."

By the way, FYI, and apropos of nothing, Think Progress is a part of the Center for American Progress' leftist fundraising empire. Specifically its "Center for American Progress Action Fund" organization. Which you can donate to. Because the Center for American
Progress Action Fund is...

... a non-partisan, 501 (c)(4) organization dedicated to achieving progress through action.

Per its website.


thanks to alexthechick.

Urk: The story is true, and Yahoo, naturally, fell for it.

The story is also from last year. Alas, it's old.

Well, it was New To Me (TM).

It's Not Merely Old... But it has, embarrassingly enough, already appeared on the site, when it was far more timely (that is to say, when Andy covered it day-of).

Eesh.

Look, I'm willing to accept blame when it's called for. In this case, though, it's alexthechick's fault.

This was all due to low-level rogue commenters operating out of Cincinnati.

I had noting to do with this. I learned of this from the newspapers, when you did.

Please believe me. This is all I got. I can't dance.

Posted by: Ace at 09:32 AM | Comments (196)
Post contains 341 words, total size 3 kb.

1 first!

Posted by: Mallfly at June 28, 2013 09:33 AM (bJm7W)

2 From a year ago

Posted by: Joethefatman (@joethefatman1) at June 28, 2013 09:33 AM (MnSla)

3 Oh come on!

Posted by: GOB Bluth at June 28, 2013 09:33 AM (jPS2y)

4 serious later

Posted by: Joethefatman (@joethefatman1) at June 28, 2013 09:34 AM (MnSla)

5 Global Warming Is Melting the Streetlights!!11! That's whack, now I can't read it!

Posted by: Rachel Jenteal at June 28, 2013 09:34 AM (FcR7P)

6 You did a post on this last year, didn't you?

Posted by: Tami[/i][/b][/u][/s] at June 28, 2013 09:35 AM (X6akg)

7 I hate to be that guy, but I'm going to be that guy: It's old.

Posted by: joncelli at June 28, 2013 09:35 AM (RD7QR)

8 bout time, too. And I remember that BS story. Anything that proves a left wing point of view is presumed true until absolutely positively proved untrue beyond any doubt whatsoever.

by the way, those are cursive street lights

Posted by: Mallfly at June 28, 2013 09:35 AM (bJm7W)

9 Yeah, article is dated August 2, 2012.

Posted by: Tami[/i][/b][/u][/s] at June 28, 2013 09:35 AM (X6akg)

10 Yeah thats a old picture- was something like a fire was nearby? or something. But yeah doesn't surprise me that they'd keep trying to circulate it as proof of global warming.

Posted by: Saar at June 28, 2013 09:36 AM (wfsOV)

11 The dumpster fire was started by George W Bush. Glad I could clear that up for you.

Posted by: Gerard Harbison at June 28, 2013 09:36 AM (oiiqn)

12 and we've been losing to the mental giants.

Posted by: toby928 for TB at June 28, 2013 09:36 AM (codCi)

13 You know, the side of the Earth that faces the Sun also heats up. I feel as if there's some lesson that can be drawn...

Posted by: t-bird at June 28, 2013 09:36 AM (FcR7P)

14 "That is real retarded, Sir." Since Barbara Billingsly is no longer with us, allow me to translate: Dat's real retardit, suh,

Posted by: BlueStateRebel at June 28, 2013 09:36 AM (7ObY1)

15 @9 - I knew that pix looked familiar.

Posted by: RushBabe at June 28, 2013 09:36 AM (qkZxk)

16 And on the wheels of steel, Bass Master ACE!
( wicky-wicky-whew, wicky-wicky-whew )

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at June 28, 2013 09:36 AM (XS/b3)

17 Seen it!

Posted by: The Internet at June 28, 2013 09:36 AM (ZPrif)

18 One word: Getaway.  It's stuck in your head now, isn't it?

Posted by: GOB Bluth at June 28, 2013 09:36 AM (d4ZzM)

19 Although you could call it an homage, or a cover, or something.

Posted by: joncelli at June 28, 2013 09:36 AM (RD7QR)

20 OLD!11!!! but still funny.

Posted by: Y-not at June 28, 2013 09:37 AM (5H6zj)

21 This is just a repeat of ridiculous tactics.  They did this at least twice before that I can remember.  They are desperate.  They probably don't need to be.  We could be encased in ice by the end of the year, but O'Bumbles would still mandate Global Warming restrictions. For the children...

Posted by: Jeantel My Belle at June 28, 2013 09:37 AM (ndlFj)

22 isn't this old as shit?

Posted by: oeJay44incday at June 28, 2013 09:37 AM (QxSug)

23 Just for perspective, you know what heats those lights more than the sun? THE ELECTRIC BULB INSIDE IT, YOU LEFTY IDIOTS.

Posted by: zsasz at June 28, 2013 09:37 AM (MMC8r)

24 Fire can't melt plastic!

Posted by: wooga at June 28, 2013 09:38 AM (g/6Rf)

25 My globes are melting in this heat too.

Posted by: NCKate at June 28, 2013 09:38 AM (Y0+zr)

26 Dayum.  Just dayum.  Was just reading a post about Killery and someone named Lulu posted the following: 

Despite what Dims tell you and the rash effort to whitewash her record just in time for 2016, I think they are about to give the ole girl the shaft one more time–it’s what they do.

The Democrat Party is going to try for another “historic” election, only this time, it’ll be Rubio, who mark my words is going to switch parties and they’ll go for the first “Latino” president–what do you think this emergency push for amnesty is all about especially when the economy is in the crapper.


Posted by: RushBabe at June 28, 2013 09:38 AM (qkZxk)

27 Lefty PR can never be permanently refuted, they just keep repeating it in case nobody remembers.

Posted by: Vic at June 28, 2013 09:38 AM (lZvxr)

28 Yes, it's hot.  It was over a hundred here in the Texas Panhandle the last couple of days.  It's summer.

Posted by: huerfano at June 28, 2013 09:38 AM (bAGA/)

29 We could be encased in ice by the end of the year, but O'Bumbles would still mandate Global Warming restrictions. For the children... We don't want Mother Earth to overreact to our AGW.

Posted by: The Left at June 28, 2013 09:39 AM (FcR7P)

30 Mmmmm...Disco inferno....40yrs ago.


Posted by: dananjcon at June 28, 2013 09:39 AM (jvd3N)

31 Never mind.

Posted by: Emily Litella at June 28, 2013 09:39 AM (l3vZN)

32 By the way, FYI, and apropos of nothing, Think Progress is a part of the Center for American Progress' leftist fundraising empire. Specifically its "Center for American Progress Action Fund" organization. Which you can donate to. Because the Center for American

Progress Action Fund is...

... a non-partisan, 501 (c)(4) organization dedicated to achieving progress through action.



And you can bet they did not get audited by the IRS.

Posted by: Vic at June 28, 2013 09:40 AM (lZvxr)

33 by the by, Mann's hockey stick was meant to prove that the climate had hardly changed from the year 1000 to 1900 and then suddenly it began to get a lot warmer. We seem to be pretty sure that there was a medieval warming for a few centuries followed by a cooling for several centuries, followed by a warming, which the hockey stick showed never happen.
So does that make Mann a climate change denier?

Posted by: Mallfly at June 28, 2013 09:40 AM (bJm7W)

34 I was unaware that this story was racist.

Posted by: JeremiadBullfrog at June 28, 2013 09:40 AM (wDG5U)

35 I guess there is no statute of limitations for punishing with scorn.

Posted by: edj[/i] at June 28, 2013 09:40 AM (9Ko7L)

36 I'm relatively sure you posted about this last year.

Posted by: Lauren at June 28, 2013 09:40 AM (wsGWu)

37 I was unaware that this story was racist.
Posted by: JeremiadBullfrog at June 28, 2013 02:40 PM



All thtorieth are rathitht.

Posted by: Melitha Harrith-Perry at June 28, 2013 09:42 AM (bAGA/)

38 Breaking: Weather remains erratic Story at 10

Posted by: Dave S. at June 28, 2013 09:42 AM (GhSTE)

39 You know what else was bad? The assassination of Lincoln. I'm pretty sure we haven't covered that yet.

Posted by: edj[/i] at June 28, 2013 09:42 AM (9Ko7L)

40 Yeah but the steel is still standing.

Posted by: Rosie, O'Donnell at June 28, 2013 09:43 AM (v1mq9)

41 24 Fire can't melt plastic! Posted by: wooga at June 28, 2013 02:38 PM --- I'm guessing you scored a perfect 100 on the Libertarian purity test. ;-)

Posted by: Y-not is joking at June 28, 2013 09:43 AM (5H6zj)

42 I laugh at your street lights.  Wait till you get a load of me.

Posted by: Giant Solar Flare of Doom at June 28, 2013 09:43 AM (lVPtV)

43 Plastic was specified to melt.
Rice paper globes mighta burned.
Try glass next time.

Posted by: sTevo at June 28, 2013 09:44 AM (6ar2a)

44 Shit Status: Dry.

Posted by: rickb223 at June 28, 2013 09:44 AM (ix+5k)

45 Obviously the commenters here have too good of a memory

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at June 28, 2013 09:45 AM (R8hU8)

46 ace doesn't read the posts or comments. That's real retarded, sir!

Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 09:45 AM (GQ8sn)

47 In other news, summer is hot.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 09:45 AM (lVPtV)

48 Yes. I mentioned that in the thread when AtC posted it earlier today....but, apparently, I suck.

Posted by: Sponge at June 28, 2013 09:45 AM (xmcEQ)

49 It was just as hot in the 1960's in Oklahoma City as it is now.  I know this because I was born and grew up here.  It's hot here today as well.  It's called Summer and I love it.

Posted by: Not an Artist at June 28, 2013 09:45 AM (uRumV)

50 Dumpster fire, global warming?

Eh, the same materials underlie both.

Posted by: RoyalOil at June 28, 2013 09:46 AM (VjL9S)

51 You've made a huge mistake.

Posted by: Obligatory Arrested Development Reference at June 28, 2013 09:46 AM (/kI1Q)

52 Those globes are incompatible with light.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at June 28, 2013 09:46 AM (0HooB)

53 Really though, they are ball sacks on a pole. Wery progressive over there.

Posted by: sTevo at June 28, 2013 09:47 AM (6ar2a)

54 I love lamp!!!!

Posted by: eleven at June 28, 2013 09:47 AM (fsLdt)

55 Curious if any of the science-minded morons can clear this up. I'm an amateur weather geek, and so I took an intro to meteorology course a few years back. Naturally, we had to learn about global warming. Our textbook had a graph of atmospheric CO2, showing a marked rise over the last 50 years or so. Then, below the graph, it says that the data was collected at Mauna Kea Observatory (I think that's it, it was on the big ass volcano in Hawaii, anyway).

Wouldn't collecting CO2 data on top of an erupting volcano kinda, I dunno, skew the numbers?

Posted by: WolfinNC at June 28, 2013 09:47 AM (HVOxM)

56 Story is old, but the Christina Hendricks pic is still appreciated.

Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 09:47 AM (GQ8sn)

57 AlextheChick get super duper platinum membership at Camp AoS for Rick-Rolling Ace.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 09:47 AM (dV6An)

58 It's ok, I only read the comments too.

Posted by: comment reader at June 28, 2013 09:47 AM (v/c0U)

59 Global  Warmening!

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at June 28, 2013 09:47 AM (0HooB)

60

You  melted  ma  baws?

 

You   melted ma baws!!

Posted by: eleven at June 28, 2013 09:47 AM (fsLdt)

61 I love lamp!!!!

Posted by: eleven


Me too!!!

Posted by: Japanese Skater[/i] [/b] at June 28, 2013 09:48 AM (XS/b3)

62 Never been so hot curses

Posted by: Racial Genteel at June 28, 2013 09:48 AM (kVfSG)

63 That's nothing.  One summer it got up to about 12,000 fahrenheit here.

But it was a dry heat.

Posted by: The Mayor of Nagasaki at June 28, 2013 09:48 AM (8ZskC)

64 I expect AlextheChick to take the 5th any minute now...

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at June 28, 2013 09:48 AM (V1ZIU)

65 So AtC got a post put up based on a joke she made...and then got the blame as well. Nice.

Posted by: BCochran1981 at June 28, 2013 09:48 AM (da5Wo)

66

Aren't streetlights usually made of glass?  Like, if it's hot enough to melt them, people and other things would be affected too, right?  All over the town, yes?  Not just an isolated incident, hm? 

I rememeber the story from when it was new, and it was kind of funny.  Nice to relive it.  The picture is striking, though.

Posted by: Lance McCormick at June 28, 2013 09:49 AM (zgHLA)

67

Apparently, teh warmening only  effects one side.

 

As someone else mentioned   upthread, we're losing to these idiots.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at June 28, 2013 09:49 AM (0HooB)

68
It's less outlandish than Obama's claim that the New York Harbor is 1 foot higher today than 100 yrs ago because of melting ice caps.

First, Obama is probably lying about the rise of the New York Harbor's sea level.
Second, what about the impact of urban development in the last 100 years in NYC? Surely all that land-filling and all those deep foundations and pilings would have a profound effect on the harbor.

But it's simpler for people to just believe what is simple.

Posted by: soothsayer at June 28, 2013 09:49 AM (GcwH1)

69
Is the site drunk already?

TGIF!

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at June 28, 2013 09:49 AM (XYSwB)

70 Stale, but true or mendacious but titillating.

Take your choice.

Posted by: Marcus at June 28, 2013 09:50 AM (AdhwY)

71 My head becomes unusually pliable on hot days.

Posted by: Joe Biden at June 28, 2013 09:50 AM (8ZskC)

72 commenters are busted. let.it.be.noted. this day of our ...

They have actually read posts. Well Some posts but not the ten thousand word posts.

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2013 09:50 AM (nqBYe)

73 Totally double-plus uncool to through AtC under the bus. Can I get a harumph?

Posted by: Lance McCormick at June 28, 2013 09:50 AM (zgHLA)

74 Global warming has a selective audience.

Posted by: eleven at June 28, 2013 09:50 AM (fsLdt)

75 Ace die not just throw AtC under the bus... Raptor vs. Ewok action.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, in his happy place at June 28, 2013 09:50 AM (zUi7I)

76 OT  Well good news, found the electric BB P-90. Bad news the battery pack is dead.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 09:51 AM (dV6An)

77 Don't riots usually take place in the summer?  *looks toward Floriduh*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2013 09:51 AM (lVPtV)

78 Callin' out The Chick?  It's about to get stabby up in here.

Posted by: Fritz at June 28, 2013 09:51 AM (UzPAd)

79 *did Not drinking yet. Still at 'work' (for some values of 'work').

Posted by: Brother Cavil, in his happy place at June 28, 2013 09:51 AM (zUi7I)

80 the street lamp globes are likely made of plastic so that our lovely tykes don't bust them with rocks.

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2013 09:51 AM (nqBYe)

81 This story was tits-up along time ago and I blame Alex the Chick.

Posted by: Marcus at June 28, 2013 09:52 AM (AdhwY)

82 I've read that the low-heat LED lights that are being used in streetlights put out so little heat that the lights now ice and snow over, rendering them useless. Progress, indeed.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 09:52 AM (jjvz+)

83 Well good news, found the electric BB P-90. Bad news the battery pack is dead. My son has that one too. Lotsa fun. The mag holds like 200 rounds.

Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 09:52 AM (GQ8sn)

84

Why blame Alex?   I just blame  Heather.

Posted by: eleven at June 28, 2013 09:52 AM (fsLdt)

85 the two not melted plastic globes are supsicious,

send to fishy.gov. immediately.

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2013 09:52 AM (nqBYe)

86 Look, I'm willing to accept blame when it's called for. In this case, though, it's alexthechick's fault.

---

Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the Snake.

Posted by: sTevo at June 28, 2013 09:52 AM (6ar2a)

87 You are going to blame Alex the Chick?  Which charity do you want your memorial donations sent?

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Pirate Scum of Umbar at June 28, 2013 09:52 AM (hLRSq)

88 re 71: and library paste is easier to spread on crackers when it's really warm out.

Posted by: Mallfly at June 28, 2013 09:52 AM (bJm7W)

89 In other news, summer is hot.

At the rate is going up, the Earth will be a cinder by December.  It's +50 degrees just since February.

Something must be done.

Posted by: toby928 for TB at June 28, 2013 09:52 AM (codCi)

90 You did a post on this last year, didn't you? Posted by: Tami at June 28, 2013 02:35 PM (X6akg) Yes. Which is where I remembered it from. As I noted. ace, don't think that I haven't noticed that you blamed me for this but did not credit me for the mug brownies. To that I have one reply: Soon.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 28, 2013 09:53 AM (VtjlW)

91 39 You know what else was bad? The assassination of Lincoln. I'm pretty sure we haven't covered that yet.

Posted by: edj at June 28, 2013 02:42 PM (9Ko7L)


Lincoln's dead?!? Abraham or Andrew, the actor from "The Walking Dead"? Well, that's the last time I take a day off from the Internet.

Posted by: Slappy at June 28, 2013 09:53 AM (LTbLf)

92 Where is the Mr. Heat Miser video?

We could at least get an MMA match between him and his brother, Snow Miser.

Posted by: Marcus at June 28, 2013 09:53 AM (AdhwY)

93 Psssst Ace..... If its AtC's fault you should do a post on spiders and/or clowns Better yet....SPIDERCLOWNS!!!!!

Posted by: Navycopjoe at June 28, 2013 09:53 AM (E8hSa)

94

Look, I'm willing to accept blame when it's called for. In this case, though, it's alexthechick's fault.

 

I hope you're    ready to die running, ace.   If you get a head start, those little Ewok legs of yours might just get you another five or six minutes of life!

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at June 28, 2013 09:53 AM (4df7R)

95

Fire can't melt glass !!1!

Posted by: The Chicken at June 28, 2013 09:53 AM (Pr6hk)

96 doorbell rings.

ace there is a package for you.

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2013 09:54 AM (nqBYe)

97 Ace should try resurrecting the face-sized spider post.

Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 09:54 AM (GQ8sn)

98 Landshark.

Posted by: toby928 for TB at June 28, 2013 09:54 AM (codCi)

99

I've read that the low-heat LED lights that are being used in streetlights put out so little heat that the lights now ice and snow over, rendering them useless.

 


Progress, indeed.

 

I also read somewhere  that they're replacing traffic lights with some sort of   LED's or other similar high-tech  lighting that won't work   in cold weather.

 

Ahh, progress. I don't  think that word means what they think it  means.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at June 28, 2013 09:54 AM (0HooB)

100 >> It's Not Merely Old... But it has, embarrassingly enough, already appeared on the site, when it was far more timely (that is to say, when Andy covered it day-of). Hahahahaha. I knew that looked familiar.

Posted by: Andy at June 28, 2013 09:54 AM (C/NnJ)

101 The Earth's core is one billion degrees.  My advice: don't dig.

Posted by: Algore at June 28, 2013 09:54 AM (8ZskC)

102 Rumor going around that Boston PD is considering asking Florida AG to farm out the  GZ prosecution team so that they can get Hernandez back in camp as soon as possible/

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at June 28, 2013 09:55 AM (R8hU8)

103

Plastic lamp globes.  Okay.

I wonder what temperature those are rated to.  If it's, say, 100 degrees for several hours, would they soften?  It's not just the temperature at any given time, but how long it stays hot.

This kind of reminds me-- in reverse-- of LED traffic lights in colder climes not working because they emit much much less heat (I presume slightly more than literally none') and thus don't melt snow like incandescents do.

Posted by: Lance McCormick at June 28, 2013 09:55 AM (zgHLA)

104 Who needs the NSA? Look how quickly the Dick Tracy's around here solved the riddle.

Posted by: Marcus at June 28, 2013 09:55 AM (AdhwY)

105 You're just trying to slide into the weekend, aren't ya Ace?

Hey, I know what it's like.  I'm trying to keep my head low here at the office.. sneak out a little early...  That first ice-cold brew is gonna go down sooo sweet.

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at June 28, 2013 09:55 AM (f9c2L)

106

Hey everybody!!!!!

 

We landed on the Moon!!!!!

Posted by: eleven at June 28, 2013 09:55 AM (fsLdt)

107 "Holy Moly, a flaming box! I better stamp that out!"

Posted by: Ace in 15 minutes[/i] [/b] at June 28, 2013 09:55 AM (XS/b3)

108 I'm waiting on anyone to mention Sarah Palin's slam on the Go8 and how that is a direct hit to McCain.

Posted by: girl at June 28, 2013 09:55 AM (q3zPd)

109 96 doorbell rings. ace there is a package for you. Posted by: willow at June 28, 2013 02:54 PM (nqBYe) Is the return address "Don't worry it's not from AlextheChick"?

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at June 28, 2013 09:55 AM (V1ZIU)

110 Look, I'm willing to accept blame when it's called for. In this case, though, it's alexthechick's fault. This was all due to low-level rogue commenters operating out of Cincinnati. -- LOL. Award-winning blog!

Posted by: Y-not at June 28, 2013 09:55 AM (5H6zj)

111 Ace, you owe us a new post, sir

Posted by: L, elle at June 28, 2013 09:56 AM (0PiQ4)

112 Send in the clown spiders.

Posted by: NCKate at June 28, 2013 09:56 AM (Y0+zr)

113 if i were ace i would have just mumbled that comment.
never put into writing something that would  encourage your own demise.
silly.

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2013 09:56 AM (nqBYe)

114 It's less outlandish than Obama's claim that the New York Harbor is 1 foot higher today than 100 yrs ago because of melting ice caps. First, Obama is probably lying about the rise of the New York Harbor's sea level. It'from all of the bodies that La Cosa Nostra gave cement shoes.

Posted by: rickb223 at June 28, 2013 09:56 AM (ix+5k)

115 Looks like Obamacare is going to pass Congress despite all the opposition to it.

Oh, sorry. That's apparently an old story.

Posted by: Marcus at June 28, 2013 09:56 AM (AdhwY)

116 The reason they keep bleating this story is because my Senator, James Inhofe wrote a book debunking global warming. He was skeptical of the whole thing from the get go, so he studied the subject, and wrote a book. Book is The Greatest Hoax: How the Global Warming Conspiracy Threatens Your Future. Of course, they hate him.

Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes C'est Magnifique at June 28, 2013 09:56 AM (h84tr)

117 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a malignant traitor.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 09:56 AM (/PCJa)

118 Burn it down. Wait. I guess they tried that.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 09:57 AM (/PCJa)

119 You can't dance.  You can't bowl.  You can't throw a baseball.  You wear mom jeans.  You can't speak extemporaneously.  You can't golf.  You can't let your man out of your sight.  I know I'm missing a whole bunch more.  He'p me out, morons.

Posted by: kathysaysso at June 28, 2013 09:57 AM (6H6o8)

120 I also read somewhere that they're replacing traffic lights with some sort of LED's or other similar high-tech lighting that won't work in cold weather. Ahh, progress. I don't think that word means what they think it means. **** Yes. I said streetlights when I should have said traffic lights. So much for them testing the devices prior to using them in a traffic scenario.

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 09:57 AM (jjvz+)

121 Dack, certainly it is not addressed atc

however it does have a stamp with shiny silver sandals.

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2013 09:57 AM (nqBYe)

122 Twice a day sea levels have been seen to rise ominously.

Posted by: Algore at June 28, 2013 09:57 AM (8ZskC)

123

People need to stop making me look bad by posting while I'm typing. 

 

For the children.

Posted by: Lance McCormick at June 28, 2013 09:57 AM (zgHLA)

124 Quick. Someone post a link to a story about planes flying into a couple buildings in NYC and see if Ace posts it.

Posted by: Sponge at June 28, 2013 09:57 AM (xmcEQ)

125 To that I have one reply: Soon. Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 28, 2013 02:53 PM (VtjlW) Ace threw AtC under the bus. AtC delivered the "Soon" to Ace. Shit Status: RUUUUUUUUNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: BCochran1981 at June 28, 2013 09:57 AM (da5Wo)

126 Is the return address "Don't worry it's not from AlextheChick"? Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at June 28, 2013 02:55 PM (V1ZIU) So, you're saying that AtC is the new "Land Shark?"

Posted by: Sponge at June 28, 2013 09:58 AM (xmcEQ)

127 Why blame Alex? I just blame Heather.

I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything.

Posted by: HeatherRadish needs a beer at June 28, 2013 09:58 AM (/kI1Q)

128 121 Dack, certainly it is not addressed atc however it does have a stamp with shiny silver sandals. Posted by: willow at June 28, 2013 02:57 PM (nqBYe) LOL

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at June 28, 2013 09:58 AM (V1ZIU)

129 If ace were smart he would post a picture of a guys pants on fire.

a guys pants that might or might not be ace's pants.


Posted by: willow at June 28, 2013 09:58 AM (nqBYe)

130 I know I'm missing a whole bunch more. He'p me out, morons.
Posted by: kathysaysso


US geography, umbrellas, inhalers, arugula, helicopter exits ...

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at June 28, 2013 09:58 AM (XS/b3)

131 allen i guess we should put in a clause that when we "let it burn" we "let it burn" all the way down.....none of this partial burning stuff

Posted by: phoenixgirl @phxazgrl at June 28, 2013 09:58 AM (8JJ6O)

132 AtC talks about this story earlier in the day, then Ace posts it.

Ace = AlextheChick's alter Ego?

Posted by: Blanco Basura at June 28, 2013 09:59 AM (4WhSY)

133 Clown spider. http://tinyurl.com/q3qfksq They are real.

Posted by: JackStraw at June 28, 2013 09:59 AM (g1DWB)

134 I got the "Soon" from AtC once.  And ruuuuuuuuunnnn I did.

Posted by: Muad'dib at June 28, 2013 09:59 AM (KjlbF)

135 If its AtC's fault you should do a post on spiders and/or clowns
Better yet....SPIDERCLOWNS!!!!!

Posted by: Navycopjoe at June 28, 2013 02:53 PM (E8hSa)

 

If AtC doesn't kill you for that, I WILL.   *GLARE*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at June 28, 2013 09:59 AM (4df7R)

136 120 They work,but they get frozen or snowed over because they don't put out heat like incandecents.Unintened consequences.

Posted by: steevy at June 28, 2013 09:59 AM (9XBK2)

137 I theorize that burials at sea are causing the oceans to rise.

After all, have you ever seen what happens when you toss a whole lime in a margarita?

I know its not really scientific. But it is evidence based.

Posted by: Marcus at June 28, 2013 09:59 AM (AdhwY)

138 I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything. Posted by: HeatherRadish™ needs a beer at June 28, 2013 02:58 PM (/kI1Q) Like that shit matters.

Posted by: Angela Corey at June 28, 2013 09:59 AM (da5Wo)

139 Raptor vs. Ewok action. Better than Ewok on Raptor action.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 09:59 AM (/PCJa)

140 Screw them lights Rome is burning!!!! Need a link ace?

Posted by: Nero at June 28, 2013 09:59 AM (E8hSa)

141 This was all due to low-level rogue commenters operating out of Cincinnati. Why do you have to go and throw laceyunderalls under the bus like that ace?

Posted by: Buzzion at June 28, 2013 09:59 AM (00Ij1)

142 Heather, Bologna it Was you!

i know it it smelled suspiciously like a toss'd dinner salad  with radishes  and also the recipe called for lamposts and boomsticks.

er or something similar!

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2013 10:00 AM (nqBYe)

143
Boston's Back Bay is all land-fill. I wrote an essay on it. Got an A.

Posted by: soothsayer at June 28, 2013 10:00 AM (KwX0v)

144 There are rumors about a big tsunami in Asia taking out 250k people.. Another rumor has it that some fellow named Obama is thinking of running for president. Anyone else here of that? Should we alert Ace?

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at June 28, 2013 10:00 AM (jjvz+)

145 Ace should try resurrecting the face-sized spider post.

Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 02:54 PM (GQ8sn)

 

I don't know where you live.

 

BUT I CAN FIND OUT.

 

*GLARE*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at June 28, 2013 10:00 AM (4df7R)

146 Ace threw AtC under the bus. AtC delivered the "Soon" to Ace. Shit Status: RUUUUUUUUNNN!!!!!!!!!!! Posted by: BCochran1981 at June 28, 2013 02:57 PM (da5Wo) You do realize this is now encouraging me to put more random bit.ly links in comments just to see what else I can get ace to include in a post. I do think all y'all should inquire as to why my incessant linking to Kate Upton's Easter video never got noticed in such a manner.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 28, 2013 10:01 AM (VtjlW)

147 I exist just to freak people out.

Posted by: Neap Tide at June 28, 2013 10:01 AM (codCi)

148

If it comes down to Ace vs. AtC, then, as much as I defend Ewoks as being total badasses who eat theier enemies (even when their prissy-voiced gods tell them not to), wear skulls as hats, and are masters of Hanglider Fu, they kinda suck in single combat.

Just in case, though, I'm prepping the popcorn and teh Star Trek fight music.

Posted by: Lance McCormick at June 28, 2013 10:01 AM (zgHLA)

149 I do think all y'all should inquire as to why my incessant linking to Kate Upton's Easter video never got noticed in such a manner.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 28, 2013 03:01 PM (VtjlW)

 

Were there tan lines?  If not, ace ain't interested.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at June 28, 2013 10:01 AM (4df7R)

150 Ace should try resurrecting the face-sized spider post. Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 02:54 PM (GQ8sn) I don't know where you live. BUT I CAN FIND OUT. *GLARE* Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit at June 28, 2013 03:00 PM (4df7R) hehe... OMG! What's that behind you????

Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 10:02 AM (GQ8sn)

151 Ace, you blamed AtC? Those LARGE boxes that arrive special delivery in the next couple days? You are just gonna love "playing" with the contents!

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at June 28, 2013 10:02 AM (/e//z)

152 I do think all y'all should inquire as to why my incessant linking to Kate Upton's Easter video never got noticed in such a manner. It was noticed. It's just these fuckers wouldn't share.

Posted by: rickb223 at June 28, 2013 10:02 AM (ix+5k)

153 ♪♫ Blame it on the rain that was fallin' fallin'
Blame it on the stars that shine at night ♪♫

Posted by: President Vanilli at June 28, 2013 10:02 AM (/kI1Q)

154 They are real. Posted by: JackStraw
...........
Yeah, but do they ride around in little cars and squirt people with seltzer bottles?

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at June 28, 2013 10:03 AM (f9c2L)

155 Completely OT- Today's XKCD is funny if y'all missed it.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 10:03 AM (/PCJa)

156 Ace worry if you receive a large box that says 'Brownies made with Pride by Paula Deen'  Get very nervous if the box seems to move on its own.  And last of all, go into Witness Protection, you might live.

Though fear the stompy silver sandals. 

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 10:03 AM (dV6An)

157

US geography, umbrellas, inhalers, arugula, helicopter exits ...

 

Windows   vs doors, other people's speeches, toasts...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at June 28, 2013 10:03 AM (0HooB)

158 alex?

at least He reads Your comments.


Posted by: willow at June 28, 2013 10:03 AM (nqBYe)

159 133. Hmmmm My kid's band is named spiderclown I wonder if I should trademark it? 135. Heh I don't fear the raptors I have low sodium spam as a weapon

Posted by: Navycopjoe at June 28, 2013 10:03 AM (E8hSa)

160 US geography, umbrellas, inhalers, arugula, helicopter exits ... Windows vs doors, other people's speeches, toasts... DVD regions.

Posted by: EC at June 28, 2013 10:03 AM (GQ8sn)

161 >>OMG! What's that behind you????<<



Shhhh.  Its just me.     Did you know I can jump nearly 6 feet high?

Posted by: Face Sized Spider at June 28, 2013 10:04 AM (KjlbF)

162 Yeah but the steel is still standing.

So are the flowers!

Posted by: Dr Venkman at June 28, 2013 10:04 AM (9PrpA)

163 I have low sodium spam as a weapon Doesn't that violate the Geneva Conventions?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) at June 28, 2013 10:04 AM (/PCJa)

164 I do think all y'all should inquire as to why my incessant linking to Kate Upton's Easter video never got noticed in such a manner. Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 28, 2013 03:01 PM (VtjlW) I think I missed that.......

Posted by: Angela Corey at June 28, 2013 10:04 AM (da5Wo)

165
Do you think Obama knows who Archimedes was, or what he discovered?

I don't.

Posted by: soothsayer at June 28, 2013 10:04 AM (GcwH1)

166 "Please believe me. This is all I got. I can't dance."

Oh, god, I'm laughing like a loon! That's one heck of a tap dance, and I enjoyed it thoroughly.

I'd link to one of Sammy Davis Jr.'s amazing routines, but, you know, raaaaacist.

Posted by: Dianna at June 28, 2013 10:05 AM (DV/Ik)

167 Ace = AlextheChick's alter Ego? Posted by: Blanco Basura at June 28, 2013 02:59 PM (4WhSY) I can most certainly assure you that I am not an Ewok and BC I can hear your fingers poised ready to start typing and ponder very very very deeply that I am already spree-ey and just got embussened. Choose wisely. Speaking of alter egos, fuck it, it might be time to let mine out to play.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 28, 2013 10:05 AM (VtjlW)

168 Fuck. /sock off

Posted by: BCochran1981 at June 28, 2013 10:05 AM (da5Wo)

169 >>OMG! What's that behind you????<<



Shhhh. Its just me. Did you know I can jump nearly 6 feet high?

Posted by: Face Sized Spider at June 28, 2013 03:04 PM (KjlbF) /i]

 

I HATE YOU ALL.

 

*bursting into tears   and running away*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit [/s][/b][/u][/i] at June 28, 2013 10:06 AM (4df7R)

170 Speaking of alter egos, fuck it, it might be time to let mine out to play.

We are so doomed.  We will pray for SMOD now.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 10:06 AM (dV6An)

171 I don't fear the raptors

Seasons don't fear the raptors
Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain
We can be like they are
Don't fear the raptors
Baby they ate my hand

Posted by: Blanco Basura at June 28, 2013 10:06 AM (4WhSY)

172 alex? at least He reads Your comments. Posted by: willow at June 28, 2013 03:03 PM (nqBYe) Apparently not the one where I say that yes I know it's from last year and that I got it from here.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 28, 2013 10:06 AM (VtjlW)

173 163. It really should Low sodium spam....only 4lbs of salt per serving

Posted by: Navycopjoe at June 28, 2013 10:07 AM (E8hSa)

174 Wasn't Alex real close to a multi-state crime spree? This will push her over the edge. I'm expecting a crime map with a picture of an ewok on it.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at June 28, 2013 10:07 AM (V1ZIU)

175 that I am already spree-ey and just got embussened. Choose wisely. Speaking of alter egos, fuck it, it might be time to let mine out to play. Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 28, 2013 03:05 PM (VtjlW) Please, please tell me that's a euphemism. And alter egos, you know, the opposite of the dominant personality? So you're alter ego is sweet and caring and loves children?

Posted by: BCochran1981 at June 28, 2013 10:07 AM (da5Wo)

176 Q - How do you kill a raptor?

A - Feed the wee beastie hardtack.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at June 28, 2013 10:07 AM (dV6An)

177 165 Obama just noticed that the water rises when he get's into the bathtub.

Posted by: steevy at June 28, 2013 10:08 AM (9XBK2)

178 Just promise you'll kill me last.

Posted by: toby928 screams like a little girl at June 28, 2013 10:08 AM (codCi)

179 So you're alter ego is sweet and caring and loves children? Posted by: BCochran1981 at June 28, 2013 03:07 PM (da5Wo) I can assure you that both are familiar with proper grammar.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 28, 2013 10:08 AM (VtjlW)

180 Apparently not the one where I say that yes I know it's from last year and that I got it from here. Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 28, 2013 03:06 PM (VtjlW) Well, that means you at least read MY comments. 8^)

Posted by: Sponge at June 28, 2013 10:09 AM (xmcEQ)

181 Just promise you'll kill me last.
Posted by: toby928© screams like a little girl


In that case I'll go first.  I can't stand to hear a grown man screaming like that.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at June 28, 2013 10:10 AM (4WhSY)

182 Why do I get the feeling that Ace doesn't read his own blog?

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at June 28, 2013 10:11 AM (1hM1d)

183 178 Just promise you'll kill me last. Sully, remember when I promised I'd kill you last? I lied.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at June 28, 2013 10:12 AM (1hM1d)

184 I'm a strong believer in progress through inaction.

Posted by: T. at June 28, 2013 10:13 AM (yAbrW)

185 I can assure you that both are familiar with proper grammar. Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 28, 2013 03:08 PM (VtjlW) You tryin to say sumpin?

Posted by: BCochran1981 at June 28, 2013 10:13 AM (da5Wo)

186 The story is what they like to call in television an "encore presentation."

Also, if you follow that logic, if someone has a heart attack at Whole Foods, does that mean that Whole Foods caused it?

And... what if a guy is shot while standing on the sidewalk next to a solar panel store? Do solar panels KILL?

Posted by: shibumi, who is being "monotired" by the NSA at June 28, 2013 10:16 AM (25HWz)

187 Simple - the fire emmited co2, thus causing global warming in that general spot, melting the street lamp.

Posted by: Fact Guy at June 28, 2013 10:16 AM (r98SZ)

188 You tryin to say sumpin? Posted by: BCochran1981 at June 28, 2013 03:13 PM (da5Wo) I'm still all sniffly that you think my dominant personality isn't sweet and caring. Sniffle. Sniffle. Sniffle. Sniffle.

Posted by: alexthechick - Bring the SMOD at June 28, 2013 10:16 AM (VtjlW)

189 I saw this same story a couple years ago. It's the same lights and everything.

Posted by: jellytoast at June 28, 2013 10:22 AM (l+O+E)

190 something on the order of a dumpster fire...it just doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?

Posted by: oeJay44incday at June 28, 2013 10:22 AM (QxSug)

191 I heard that Michael Hastings actually found out that Blackwater had set that fire after the fact in order to cover up for Global Warming's street light melting. I've shared this before they could get to m...

Posted by: oeJay44incday at June 28, 2013 10:24 AM (QxSug)

192 I knew I had seen this before.  And I was pretty sure it was on this site.  Of course, I wasn't sure if that was just the Val-u-rite talking since I started my vacation early.

Posted by: sluggo at June 28, 2013 10:26 AM (vVv3V)

193
Twice a day sea levels have been seen to rise ominously.

Posted by: Algore at June 28, 2013 02:57 PM (8ZskC)









Meh.

But that "ominously increasing darkness towards evening" thing? Scary.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 28, 2013 10:33 AM (TIIx5)

194 Melting street lights in Oklahoma were made in China, no doubt. Thank you, NOT, Mr. Kissinger-Nixon.

Posted by: panzernashorn at June 28, 2013 10:52 AM (MhA4j)

195 My stars. You are hilarious, Ace. I just love you.

Posted by: Miss Scarlett at June 28, 2013 11:55 AM (cWpCn)

196 Leave my Ace alone! Eleventy!!11!!

Posted by: Ace's girlfriend #1 at June 28, 2013 04:09 PM (baL2B)

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