February 27, 2005

Sean Penn Responds to a Chris Rock Joke About Why the Chicken Crossed the Road
— Ace

"Forgive my compromised sense of humor, but to answer our host's question about the chicken: the chicken is among our most talented, gifted, and generous of all domesticated fowl, and everyone in Hollywood appreciates his tremendous contributions to the performing arts."*

* Apologies to Jeff Goldstein. This is his sort of his schtick.

Okay, So I Watched a Bit of the Oscars Update: Hey, there's not a damn thing on.

It doesn't make me Scandanavian.

All of Hollywood Is Afraid of Clint Eastwood Update: Now, of course I'm a big fan of Clint Eastwood's, particularly of his earlier, funnier films, like High Plains Drifter.

But this is getting ridiculous. Clint Eastwood wins like four Oscars every other year.

Are all of these f'n' Hollywood pussies so afraid of Clint Eastwood they can't finally give Scorcese his damn Oscar already?

Posted by: Ace at 07:26 PM | Comments (28)
Post contains 169 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Ace, kindly please check your email.

Ditto the Spicoli-is-a-humorless-jackass thing.

Cheers,
Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge at February 27, 2005 08:04 PM (mrpxK)

2 Ace,

OK, I read some of the live-blogging for tonight's Academy Awards.

But it still does not make me "Oscar curious."

One Clint story.

It's true.

Really.

In a city by the sea.

I live there, part-time.

Anyway, while at the grocery check-out a few years back, this tall, big (long arms, big hands, muscular) and old looking guy, with what looks like a platinum Rolex, is ahead of me, trying to figure out how to swipe his credit card (also platinum I think, don't leave home without it) in the check-out counter console.

Totally lost.

As I was just about to ask him if he needed help (hey, I am a doctor afterall) the check-out girl figured out he was struggling and took matters in her own hands.

The tall, old looking guy, turned slowly to me and smiled.

Me too, then. I smiled back.

First thought. Man you look old.

Second thought. Nice watch.

Third thought. Don't you have, like servants or something for this?

Nice smile, though.

Posted by: MeTooThen at February 27, 2005 08:17 PM (Qn5xm)

3 I think when he said he'd kill Michael Moore if the guy ever showed up at his door, it sorta had that shiv-someone-your-first-day-in-prison effect. Nobody is willing to risk pissing him off.

Posted by: Russell Wardlow at February 27, 2005 08:39 PM (zZ78O)

4 Chicken is fowl, not foul.
(I talked to Bob Dole's c*ck and he said it was OK to correct you this one time)

Posted by: lauraw at February 28, 2005 04:57 AM (W5I+/)

5 Clint Eastwood - lives and works in California

Martin Scorcese - may or may not currently reside in New York but makes all his films about the Big Apple.

Hollywood is in California.

It doesn't take a Hardy Boy to solve this mystery. But I am one anyway. Or so says my wife who affirmed my goodness and supported me through the coke years and the crack years and the embezzling charges and that thing with the carnival barker...

Posted by: Tongueboy at February 28, 2005 05:17 AM (nug4S)

6 I admit only to watching five minutes of the Oscar and was totally bored for all five, but that plus my prediliction for show tunes doesn't make me gay (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Posted by: 72VIRGINS at February 28, 2005 05:18 AM (dhRpo)

7 Lauraw - Did you speak to Bob Dole's c*ck on the phone or was it live?

Posted by: 72WIVES at February 28, 2005 05:20 AM (dhRpo)

8 If you're going to report on the Oscars, report on the Oscars. How was the cleavage?

Posted by: Bob Hawkins at February 28, 2005 05:47 AM (2LKPp)

9 Ace:

Are you implying that there is EVER anything on the boob tube? And that the Oscars are better than nothing?

Posted by: Carlos at February 28, 2005 06:29 AM (oNVm9)

10 Bob:

Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek standing side by side, presenting awards.

Posted by: cirby at February 28, 2005 06:32 AM (fY33n)

11 Bob, I will report for you......all fake.

Done.

I too had an encounter with Clint Eastwood. I saw him at the Maui Airport. He does look old and he does look mean.

Did anyone else think Sean Penn looks like a cartoon character and that Robin Williams isn't funny anymore?

And I think Chris Rock proved his point about black people not watching the Oscars, wouldn't you say?

I'm done..;-)

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at February 28, 2005 08:28 AM (9VmV1)

12 There was a tidbit on Fox News that 1 out of 8 Repubs watch the Oscars, while 4 out of 10 Dems do.

Posted by: TallDave at February 28, 2005 08:42 AM (z0bus)

13 Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek standing side by side, presenting awards.I turned the show on for a bit and there they were, praising "Che". Wtf? Turned it off immediately.

Posted by: someone at February 28, 2005 08:54 AM (S22v9)

14 I can proudly say I've only seen one of the nominated films and somebody else paid.

I'd rather watch the Friday night lineup on SciFi Channel than almost anything Hollywood has produced for theaters in recent years. Show with strong continuity are vastly more engaging.

I did see one other movie in the theater last year but the committee was too chicken to nominate its theme song.

America!
Fuck Yeah!

Posted by: Eric Pobirs at February 28, 2005 08:56 AM (SYvBp)

15 Lauraw - I have heard women and gays say that when it comes to c*ck, if you've seen one you've seen 'em all. Not being a woman or gay (not that there's anything wrong with that) I don't know. Is this true?

Posted by: 72prunes at February 28, 2005 08:58 AM (dhRpo)

16 Bob Dole's c*ck is a busy man. We teleconferenced.

Posted by: lauraw at February 28, 2005 09:16 AM (W5I+/)

17 So is Bob Dole's c*ck still suffering from ED, you know, erectile disfunctioning?

Posted by: 72PRUNES at February 28, 2005 09:38 AM (dhRpo)

18 Clint Eastwood has won 4 Oscars total, not 4 every 4 years. The last time he won was 12 years ago, for the brilliant Unforgiven. He won for Best Director and for Best Picture, as a producer. Same goes for this year and Million Dollar Baby.

Get the facts straight.

Posted by: Fargus at February 28, 2005 10:02 AM (hBT/Q)

19 i watched for 5 minute ... and I want that five minutes back. Of course, that is 5 minutes more than I spend watching any of the movies nominated ...

Posted by: carin at February 28, 2005 10:50 AM (mLojJ)

20 I saw the Aviator, and I saw Million Dollar Baby, and the latter easily deserved to beat the former in every catagory it did.

I'm sorry Scorsese didn't win his Oscars for the film or films he should have, but he really didn't deserve this one.

Posted by: Ken Begg at February 28, 2005 12:59 PM (VVf4R)

21 I was actually amused by Sean Penn totally making an ass of himself.

I think he went back and crawled under the rock where his career went.

Posted by: Eggo at February 28, 2005 03:07 PM (BKte2)

22 72, if you're not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that), why are you so interested in Bob Dole's c*ck?

Posted by: nood at February 28, 2005 06:16 PM (IgmYi)

23 Bwaaa ha haaa!!

Yeah 72, what's up with that?

Posted by: lauraw at March 01, 2005 04:47 AM (YWZ64)

24 Truly. And the nature of his recent films aren't helping either. I wrote a little bit on it today:

http://www.trepryor.com/index.php?p=209

Posted by: Paladin at March 01, 2005 12:02 PM (Rfqkp)

25 1) High Plains Drifter was funny, but Hang'em High was way, way funnier. (And, of course, Unforgiven was one of the few, if not the only, Comedies to win an Oscar.)

2) I'm not gay (I'm pretty sure), but I ran into Sean Connery on a sidewalk Marbella, Spain in the late '70s and it's damn scary how good-looking that guy is, even without his hair piece (still is, too.) Also, he is not as scary as Clint, but he still looks like he could take you out if he wanted to.

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28 Anyway, while at the grocery check-out a few years back, this tall, big (long arms, big hands, muscular) and old looking guy, with what looks like a platinum Rolex, is ahead of me, trying to figure out how to swipe his credit card (also platinum I think, don't leave home without it) in the check-out counter console. Richard from paint zoom

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