May 31, 2008

Scandi Sports: The Masturbate-A-Thon
— DrewM

I’m not sure if this is more proof of the Scandi menace or are they simply on the cutting edge of the Ace of Spades Liefstyle?

Organizers of Denmark's first "Masturbate-a-thon," set to be held at a suburban Ishoj nightclub, say more than 60 men and women are registered to compete.

The organizers said participants will masturbate in front of the assembled crowd and will then be judged in several categories -- including farthest ejaculation and longest orgasm -- the Copenhagen Post reported Friday.

We all know that early morning posting is not Ace’s thing. It's not because he is usually sleeping off a Valu-Rite hangover or skinning a hobo. Mornings are simply his 'training' time.

Via Hot Air Headlines.

Posted by: DrewM at 08:29 AM | Comments (49)
Post contains 128 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Sounds like a Gallagher-type poncho is required.

Posted by: eman at May 31, 2008 08:31 AM (WWkFI)

2 It sounds disgusting.

Posted by: GRC at May 31, 2008 08:34 AM (WZTMv)

3 What sort of freak would want to go and watch?  "Hey Ingmar, I hear Hans is entered in that jerk-off festival.  Let's go see how far he he can shoot."

WTF?

Posted by: Ken at May 31, 2008 09:04 AM (D02O9)

4

The UPI story at the link, at least presently, has a picture next to it of a schoolgirl with her arms raised in victory (at a spelling bee).

Which strikes me as an odd editorial choice, for some reason.

Posted by: Patton at May 31, 2008 09:04 AM (1cjaj)

5 Ew. I'm thinking that Someone owes Sodom & Gamorrah an apology...

Posted by: Cybrludite at May 31, 2008 09:05 AM (lIe6W)

6 Gee, I wonder why Europe's population is plummeting.

Posted by: Exurban Jon at May 31, 2008 09:07 AM (3GwKL)

7 Ah, yet another news article exemplifying how Europeans are simply awash in sophistication.  That audience will soon be awash in something else, though.

Posted by: Herr Blcher at May 31, 2008 09:09 AM (1hokU)

8 60 men and women are registered to compete.

WTF?

Never mind. I don't want to know.

Posted by: lauraw at May 31, 2008 09:10 AM (DbybK)

9 On the plus side, for every..er..um.."entry", that's a few million less potential Scandis warming the globe.

Posted by: Roachman at May 31, 2008 09:11 AM (IBPse)

10 Can I bring my cigar?

Posted by: Bill Clinton at May 31, 2008 09:15 AM (v+WfA)

11 "Liefstyle"
was that on purpose, or were you just accidentally clever?

Posted by: ramms at May 31, 2008 09:17 AM (cqSR5)

12 Ok, how does one accurately judge whether a woman even HAS an actual orgasm let alone determining the length of it. Not that I wouldn't be willing to try and judge this, just checking the rule-book,ya know.

Posted by: When Harry Boinked Sally at May 31, 2008 09:20 AM (h/5U0)

13

I guess this is what Hillary meant when she went to Europe and ...errrr, ummm gushed:  "You have so much to teach us".

Old joke:

Why did Helen Keller need two hands to masturbate?

Answer:  one hand to masturbate, the other hand to moan

 

Posted by: fulldroolcup at May 31, 2008 09:22 AM (DEoYl)

14 Is Val-U-Rite a sponsor?

Posted by: andycanuck at May 31, 2008 09:23 AM (AS2IX)

15 So... no speed trials?

Posted by: Cautiously Pessimistic at May 31, 2008 09:28 AM (ltwze)

16 Are overcoats required, and should I bring my own?

Posted by: Paul Reubens at May 31, 2008 09:37 AM (jqPsw)

17

"sleeping off a Valu-Rite hangover or skinning a hobo."

Lol. You cant coach that.

Posted by: mike d at May 31, 2008 09:42 AM (Ug3ki)

18 Olaf, you haf two trophies.

Yah, sure, I came in 1st and 3rd in the yerking off contest.

Posted by: capitano at May 31, 2008 09:46 AM (+NO33)

19 What's the record? Anyone?

Posted by: Fritz at May 31, 2008 09:47 AM (gjLdu)

20 I'm already practicing for the US team in next year's competition.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at May 31, 2008 09:47 AM (c55NW)

21 What HERESY!!!  Every sperm is sacred!

Posted by: rls at May 31, 2008 09:53 AM (N0p0X)

22

BTW, the article didn't mention, is it formal or cum as you are?

Posted by: andycanuck at May 31, 2008 09:59 AM (AS2IX)

23 First Color Commentator: "Oh no, Olaf Erikson was just about to set a new World Record when someone in the crowd held up a huge picture of Olaf's Mom!"

Second Color Commentator: "He'll be back. The champions always come back."


Posted by: eman at May 31, 2008 10:01 AM (WWkFI)

24

Does this mean there are no playoffs?

What about the regionals?

What does the first place prize winner get?

Can you enter more than once?

Who is the coach?

Who handles the equipment?

Will there be any standings available?

Is there a joke in here somewhere?

I am not signing my name to this.

 

Posted by: anonymous at May 31, 2008 10:14 AM (dfcRW)

25 Is this a battery or no battery competition? Cause I just can't see any point for the women to try and compete if they can't have batteries.

Posted by: pendejo grande at May 31, 2008 10:29 AM (l/U9W)

26

They're a Day Late & a Dollar Short

I've been watching the Donk version on MSNBC, all morning.

Posted by: franksalterego at May 31, 2008 10:32 AM (ZnyCy)

27 Ok, how does one accurately judge whether a woman even HAS an actual orgasm

Heh.  Women having orgasms?  Yeah, that's a good one!  I bet you believe that really was a space alien in the video, too.

Posted by: pbrown at May 31, 2008 10:47 AM (vxGjP)

28 Megyn Kelly in a cheerleader outfit.........
I think I have a chance

Posted by: HashFn at May 31, 2008 11:10 AM (sjRux)

29 The Scandi's are 8 years late -- the US had our 8th annual May 25, 2008.  I sent Ace a link last year but I don't think anyone checks the tip Email line.
Here is their site NSFW
Here is my link from last years.
DKK

Posted by: LifeTrek at May 31, 2008 11:31 AM (tJTIW)

30 Seems like it would be too easy for the chicks to cheat.

"Oh, yes, judge, I came...like 8 times! Really!"

Posted by: mpur at May 31, 2008 11:44 AM (8UAZ7)

31 yerking off

lol!

Posted by: GRC at May 31, 2008 11:44 AM (WZTMv)

32 When they hand over the prizes , do they shake hands ?

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at May 31, 2008 12:45 PM (Bivii)

33 After the story the other day about avulsions can we come up with a better term than"jerk off"?

Posted by: Have Blue at May 31, 2008 01:10 PM (WuPk/)

34 '... longest orgasm...'

Wait until the Barry Hussein inauguration.

And wear a raincoat.


Posted by: DaneF at May 31, 2008 01:17 PM (GGw/D)

35 25 Is this a battery or no battery competition? Cause I just can't see any point for the women to try and compete if they can't have batteries.

Posted by: pendejo grande at May 31, 2008 03:29 PM (l/U9W)

I disagree with you violently, sir.

Posted by: Mr. Ian Glasscock at May 31, 2008 02:07 PM (AS2IX)

36 Old joke,  The deninition of a competitor?  The guy who comes in first and third in a masturbation contest.

Posted by: Hammer at May 31, 2008 02:21 PM (8nB5X)

37 What about tools? If the women can bring vibrators, can the men bring blow-up dolls?

Belt sanders?

Posted by: OregonMuse at May 31, 2008 05:43 PM (jyo/c)

38 Q:  Why do men always come before women?

*

*

*

*

*


A:  Who cares?

Posted by: john p. at June 01, 2008 07:49 AM (XLYz8)

Posted by: niceshoeshop at April 30, 2009 01:41 AM (2H3gQ)

40

 Ah, yet another news article exemplifying how Europeans are simply awash in sophistication.  That audience will soon be awash in something else, though.

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Posted by: ee at May 12, 2009 09:03 PM (LN6Aa)

44 Old joke,  The deninition of a competitor?  The guy who comes in first and third in a masturbation contest. buy watches,

Posted by: ee at May 12, 2009 09:11 PM (LN6Aa)

45

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