May 26, 2004

Reviewers are Douche-Nozzle Jackasses
— Ace

That's long been my theory, and it's served me well over the years.

Now, I haven't seen Troy yet, and I don't particularly want to. I'm just not interested.

Still, that doesn't mean that dopey, talentless, brainless reviewers should have a free hand at criticizing the film for entirely ludicrous reasons.

Two Braincells presents an enjoyable panning of the critics' pans:

The film isn't called The Iliad for a reason, and that reason is that it's not a direct adaptation of The Iliad. Homer didn't originate the story of the Trojan war. He wrote the best-known versions of two parts of the saga in the Iliad and the Odyssey, but these are not the only source materials. The choice of Paris (i.e., the selection of the most beautiful among Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite and subsequent awarding of Helen) does not appear in the Iliad. Neither does the abduction of Helen. Neither does the Trojan horse. Neither do the deaths of Achilles, nor Paris, nor Agamemnon. Criticisms based on a supposed lack of fidelity to the Iliad would seem to miss the point in this regard.

I know nothing at all about the Iliad, but apparently I know more than critics. I wouldn't presume to comment upon the film's fidelity to the Iliad, having only read the Cliff's Notes in ninth grade. But that makes me smarter than reviewers, it seems.

This is good too:

For those further waxing wroth over the absence of the gods: you've got to be joking. Has it really been so long since Clash of the Titans that you're actually prepared to swear you'd treat the movie seriously if you'd seen Paris being wafted away in the middle of his fight with Menelaus on Aphrodite's cloud?

Note to self: Must begin making Clash of the Titans references.

And, if you've got a hankering to read through the Iliad with a snarky guide, Jamie R. provides a first-rate fisking to Homer.

Posted by: Ace at 12:31 PM | Comments (13)
Post contains 332 words, total size 2 kb.

1 This is exactly why I like the Rotten Tomatoes website. Convenient review summaries and compiled ratings so you don't actually have to read the gibberish spewed by the majority of reviewers.

Posted by: Hermit Dave at May 26, 2004 02:04 PM (Rl0BJ)

2 Since when did movies even bother to follow books that they're named after. Much less ones they're not. I did see the movie, and I have read both the Iliad and the Oddessy. I had no expectation going into the theater that the movie would have more than the same characters and more or less the same or a sub-set of the plot line. It turned out to be a very entertaining re-telling of the most well known part the story, the fall of Troy (hence the name I would suppose), and did it in such a way that gave plausable explainations to things that the people of the time interpreted as being the actions of the gods, but may have been very ordinary occurances. If you like swash-buckling movies, this one is a lot of fun for the buck.

Posted by: Dacotti at May 26, 2004 07:33 PM (YGIzS)

3 Oh, man. Thank you ever so, Ace, for that link to Jamie R's Iliad site. I've loved and read Homer's stuff for years now (at one point many years back I seriously considered a dual major in classics) ... and that's the funniest thing I have read in a long, long time. I'm still twitching with mirth.

Posted by: Dirge at May 27, 2004 05:59 AM (jpN9u)

4 "Menelaus and Aias finally bring the body of Patroclus to safety, now alas measuring some eight foot four,"

That had me laughing out loud, I couldn't stop laughing for several minutes! I can't wait for Book 23. Or A Brief Brief History of Rome, Part Three.
You have to read the whole thing, it took me 2 hours...two hours well spent.

Posted by: Squirrel at May 27, 2004 01:33 PM (WpQqH)

5 Glad you liked Jamie's site. He's a cool guy.

Posted by: ace at May 27, 2004 01:41 PM (iog7U)

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