December 31, 2010

Red Letter Media's Star Wars Episode III Review is Up
— Gabriel Malor

My friends, it is a great day. That clever fellow who made the pretty darn decent reviews of just how wrong George Lucas went with the Star Wars prequels released his review of the third movie.

Go here. See ya later.

The other Star Wars reviews (as well as a great deal of other movie commentary) are available on YouTube. If you've got an afternoon to kill, or just want to know more about movie making than George Lucas, definitely worth a look.

Thanks to @JohnJ2427.

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at 05:01 AM | Comments (75)
Post contains 106 words, total size 1 kb.

1

Yeah, I'll watch it -- but that'll take about an hour -- so I better comment now if I want to say --

First!

Posted by: FireHorse at December 31, 2010 05:02 AM (sWynj)

2 What is Star Wars?

Posted by: Vic at December 31, 2010 05:07 AM (M9Ie6)

3 Can't wait to see if he's using the same basement.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at December 31, 2010 05:08 AM (swuwV)

4

what's a reviw?

 

Posted by: elspeth at December 31, 2010 05:13 AM (4cc80)

5 oh, review!

Posted by: elspeth at December 31, 2010 05:13 AM (4cc80)

6 Happy New Year Ace O Spades,and Spadettes

Posted by: canopfor at December 31, 2010 05:14 AM (TObez)

7 Curses, and me stuck at work!

I'll have to watch it tonight.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at December 31, 2010 05:16 AM (TpXEI)

8 I'm still waiting for his review of Charlton Heston's Planet of the Apes before I finally break down and go and see it.

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 05:18 AM (tJjm/)

9 New Year's already? Do you mean to tell me I passed out and missed it? That was some damn good IPA.

Posted by: USS Diversity at December 31, 2010 05:19 AM (DLxD/)

10 This guy should do an autopsy of Paris Hilton's virginity. Gruesome stuff, that.

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 05:23 AM (tJjm/)

11 Can't wait to see if he's using the same basement.  that chick actually got away.


Posted by: Methos at December 31, 2010 05:24 AM (Ew1k4)

12 Come for the review, stay for the Jeno´s Pizza Rolls.

Posted by: Minuteman at December 31, 2010 05:25 AM (VXEWb)

13 The Revenge of the Shit really did suck. No doubt about it. The least they could have done was dress up Padme in a g-string.

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 05:28 AM (tJjm/)

14

The Revenge of the Shit really did suck. No doubt about it. The least they could have done was dress up Padme in a g-string.

i went with a friend to see all three. We were so psyched for the first one, but by the third one, we weren't as excited. I remember he and I laughed out loud at the scene where Annikan becomes Vader and yells the most cheesy "NOOOO" in the history of film.

I knew the series was stupid and made no sense, but it was at that point we realized that either Lucas really wasn't even trying, or maybe he lost whatever he had to begin with.

Posted by: Ben at December 31, 2010 05:41 AM (wuv1c)

15
Seen one, seen 'em all.

I'd rather dl the Rifftrax audio track and listen to funny jokes while I watch the movie.

Posted by: Soothsayer3P0 at December 31, 2010 05:49 AM (i7Grp)

16

The Revenge of the Shit really did suck. No doubt about it. The least they could have done was dress up Padme in a g-string.

Preggers Padme in a g-string?  Yuck...even the most depraved amongst the morons might have balked on viewing that.

Revenge of the Suck was arguably the best of the prequels, but that isn't saying very much.  The only thing separating Revenge of (George Lucas') Sucking (writing, dialogue, plot progression, over-reliance on "special effects", tempo, so on and so forth) from the rest of the terrible prequels was that the stakes were higher in this movie.  And that Jar Jar had only about 4 seconds of film time, .

Alas, instead of Jar Jar's annoying voice to annoy you, we get pansy robot sounds.  Never knew a robot could cry out in pain/alarm as one of its robotic limbs was hewn off.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at December 31, 2010 05:49 AM (9hSKh)

17

"I find your lack of faith disturbing." (Oh wait, that was from the good series)

"Jedi business, go back to your drinks." (There, that was lame enough.)

Posted by: Vader at December 31, 2010 05:52 AM (LuulU)

18
What's this?

Katie Shithead Couric suggests a Muslim sitcom?


Posted by: Soothsayer3P0 at December 31, 2010 05:52 AM (i7Grp)

19 Fun review but the reviewer really needs to get those adnoids fixed. That, or do a better job of imitating the Cinema Snob: http://tinyurl.com/3ya6p2x

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at December 31, 2010 05:53 AM (SHKl9)

20 Katie Couric: 'Maybe We Need a Muslim Version of The Cosby Show'

That, right there, is some weapons grade bimbo stupidity awesome!

Posted by: Fritz at December 31, 2010 05:53 AM (GwPRU)

21 Lucas has flunkies that wipe his ass with $1000 bills. You hate the prequels? He can live with that.

Posted by: eman at December 31, 2010 05:53 AM (+iY8m)

22 You're welcome! I've watched Part One of this review, and so far it's awesome! I said, "so far it's awesome!" *cha-ching* Sweet!

Posted by: JohnJ at December 31, 2010 05:54 AM (T2qLv)

23 #17 

"Jedi business, go back to your drinks." (There, that was lame enough.)

"Only a Sith deals in absolutes" - Obi Wan, channeling Kos.

And who can forget about the fucking midichlorians! 

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at December 31, 2010 05:54 AM (9hSKh)

24 Adenoids, I mean...

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at December 31, 2010 05:55 AM (SHKl9)

25
A few years ago in a thread we here at AoS tossed out a few joke titles for  a Muslim sitcom.

Friends (of Mohammed), for example. When Rossib kills Rachelech for being a whore. Hilarity ensues.

Posted by: Soothsayer3P0 at December 31, 2010 05:56 AM (i7Grp)

26
Yoda must be a Sith, right?

"Do or do not. There is no try."

Posted by: Soothsayer3P0 at December 31, 2010 05:57 AM (i7Grp)

27 The worst thing about the "prequels"? The CGI effects. You can't sell a movie purely on special effects anymore, in an age when any kids movie is all CGI. If they ever - heaven forbid - make more Star Wars movies, they should: a) Keep Lucas away from the script, the actors, and the studio, b) Make real special effects using models, as many as life-sized as possible. 2001: A Space Odyssey to this day has the best special effects in motion picture history. c) [And this cannot be emphasized enough] G-strings. Lots of G-strings.

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 05:57 AM (tJjm/)

28
I'm pretty sure the Jedis selineated good & evil as absolutes.

That whole "Dark" Side thing. There was no Gray Side, was there?

Posted by: Soothsayer3P0 at December 31, 2010 05:58 AM (i7Grp)

29 (Or is it, CGE? Whatever)

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 05:58 AM (tJjm/)

30 Well Morons got to go. May be back later.

Posted by: Vic at December 31, 2010 05:58 AM (M9Ie6)

31 Married... with Goats

Starring:  Al-Bunhdi

Posted by: Fritz at December 31, 2010 06:01 AM (GwPRU)

32
Madrasa About You

Posted by: Soothsayer3P0 at December 31, 2010 06:02 AM (i7Grp)

33 "Only a Sith deals in absolutes calls President Bush a Nazi" - Obi Wan, channeling Kos. Lucas really IS a tool

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 06:06 AM (tJjm/)

34 28 I'm pretty sure the Jedis selineated good & evil as absolutes.

That whole "Dark" Side thing. There was no Gray Side, was there?

In the Extended Universe, there was a race of beings that saw Force usage as more of a rainbow than only Light and Dark, but in the original trilogy, it was made quite clear that there was a only good and a bad side to the Force. 

And what is really painfully obvious was that George Lucas was making shit up as he went along, (why the Emperor was disfigured, why C3PO and R2D2 didn't remember anything, why Luke ended up on Tatoonine...).

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at December 31, 2010 06:06 AM (9hSKh)

35 Er, did Plinkett just rape a cat?

Posted by: Methos at December 31, 2010 06:07 AM (Ew1k4)

36 WTF. I was listening to his review of Clones on the way home from work an hour ago. Kinda creepy coincidence.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at December 31, 2010 06:08 AM (KmSjr)

37 In the Extended Universe, there was a race of beings that saw Force usage as more of a rainbow than only Light and Dark, May the Ghey be With You?

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 06:09 AM (tJjm/)

38 OT:   If you have a Health Savings Account (HSA) or a Flex Spending Account, you might want to read the American Spectator article at the link.

Excerpt:

For reasons not entirely clear except to those who wrote the 2010 health care bill, as of tomorrow it will be illegal to use an HSA or FSA to buy over-the-counter drugs without a doctor's prescription.

LINK

Posted by: mrp at December 31, 2010 06:12 AM (HjPtV)

39 33 "Only a Sith deals in absolutes calls President Bush a Nazi" - Obi Wan, channeling Kos.

Lucas really IS a tool

And he's lazy.  At first, I thought that statement's subtext was more of a draw your own conclusions thing from the movie, using current events (i.e. Bush policy on terrorism) as a template.  But when I read that Star Wars was based on Vietnam (with the Rebels being the Viet-Cong and the Empire being the US) and when I heard some of his opinions on Bush, I realized that this was a built-in message.

Even as political satire, Lucas' "Bush as a Sith" caracture fails miserably and ends up even further destroying the movie's plot and concept continuity. 

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at December 31, 2010 06:14 AM (9hSKh)

40 An hour and 45 minutes?

Posted by: Waterhouse at December 31, 2010 06:25 AM (/AqlA)

41 If a geek pushed Lucas into a pit of lava, he'd have a decent shot with the jury. Heck, the cops might not even arrest him. "Go home kid and don't do that again."

Posted by: eman at December 31, 2010 06:29 AM (+iY8m)

42 Oh please,
It wasn't Quo Vadis, Ben Hur or Last of the Mohicans..... it was more like Toy Story without the depth of emotion.

I can't believe people take those childish-crappy-emotionally void prequels as anything more that teen angst in space.
And not even passionate teen angst.
Insipid, poorly acted and without any like to human behaviors.

Posted by: EZB at December 31, 2010 06:32 AM (fa9yq)

43

O/T   Esss-cuse me mo-rons...does anybody remember which thread had the pics of the coked-up polar bears?? LINKY?

 

Posted by: dananjcon at December 31, 2010 06:35 AM (pr+up)

44 Off-topic,

How about a thread for making predictions for 2011?

I'm starting with Obama revealed to be former mujahadeen fighter in Afghanistan, and NYT runs editorial saying it doesn't matter, or actually makes him a better president.

Posted by: Onlooker at December 31, 2010 06:35 AM (HenHO)

45 the cat fucking scene was hilarious

Posted by: Ben at December 31, 2010 06:36 AM (wuv1c)

46 Off-topic, How about a thread for making predictions for 2011? I'm starting with Obama revealed to be former mujahadeen fighter in Afghanistan, and NYT runs editorial saying it doesn't matter, or actually makes him a better president. Posted by: Onlooker at December 31, 2010 11:35 AM (HenHO) No, no. He was stripper with a heart of gold working his way through college when one day he found a magic teleprompter in a dumpster.

Posted by: eman at December 31, 2010 06:39 AM (+iY8m)

47
The only thing Obama ever fought for was a doob in college.

Posted by: Soothsayer3P0 at December 31, 2010 06:40 AM (i7Grp)

48 I predict that Ozero will cheat at golf in 2011.

Posted by: dogfish at December 31, 2010 06:42 AM (VZ2iQ)

49 This will be big next year. http://foamweaponleague.com/

Posted by: eman at December 31, 2010 06:44 AM (+iY8m)

50 Katie Shithead Couric suggests a Muslim sitcom?


Posted by: Soothsayer3P0 at December 31, 2010 10:52 AM (i7Grp)

Our thoughts about muslims need to be changed.  The lovely and vivacious Katie has taken time out from her busy schedule of important cocktail parties, public colonoscopies and impromptu exhibitions of her wicked dance technique to opine that a happy sitcom full of lovable muslims would be the best way to correctly educate you simpleminded lumpenproles.

Posted by: Cicero at December 31, 2010 06:48 AM (Ys0KI)

51 And since this thread is about one of the most annoying set of movies made in recent movies, I thought, What the Hell?! Why not throw in one of the most annoying songs of all frigging time?! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qxU82mNaI8 BOY, ain't times SO much better for young women today, waiting to have kids as single Moms at age 40, running around to fertility clinics to be inseminated with sperm milked from perfect strangers reading dirty magazines in the clinic's bathroom? Isn't it GREAT how more males aren't going to college, and will either just knock up a ton of gals or perhaps settle down to sponge off an unmarried career woman until they find someone younger? Wow, You've Come a Long Way Baby!

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 06:50 AM (tJjm/)

52 Years, I meant to say, one of the most annoying set of movies made in recent YEARS. I really wish this site had an edit function...

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 06:51 AM (tJjm/)

53
Education or inclusion?

I think Katie and her shithead friends on the left attribute Islamic terrorism to them being excluded from society.

You know, the same old crutch -- x does bad things because of his low socio-economic status.

Posted by: Soothsayer3P0 at December 31, 2010 06:54 AM (i7Grp)

54 Maybe we need a Muslim Cosby Show?

By all means!  Since it is my observation that the Obamas were portraying themselves as Chris and Claire Huxtable (with those 2 cute daughters Rudy and Vanessa) prior to the election,  at which point Michelle ripped off her tailored suit and revealed her true fashion-forward personna (as well as no bra,  no stockings,  and the hair nub)  why not have a Muslim sit com?

Then,  after we have all been convinced they are simply swell,  middle class professionals with cute families,  they can proceed to institute honor killing, forced marriages,  and other fun stuff.  It will be SUCH a surprise.

Posted by: Miss Marple at December 31, 2010 06:57 AM (Fo83G)

55 OT, but some talking head on MSNBC spouted the same trite "America's Crumbling Infrastructure" cliche I've heard since I was a little kid. Question: how many more multi-trillion dollar "stimulus packages" and "road and bridge construction bills" do liberals have to have before they are finally satisfied that the America's Crumbling Infrastructure is Crumbling No More?? 'Cause the money that has been spent on the Crumbling since the 70's would have been enough to pave and bridge China many times over.

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 06:58 AM (tJjm/)

56
oh, and what do you do when the rules are not to your liking?

you change the rules!

brb with the latest subversion tactics from the Koksuckers at Kos

Posted by: Soothsayer3P0 at December 31, 2010 06:58 AM (i7Grp)

57 This is truly a great day. I discovered the Baby's Day Out review last week.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at December 31, 2010 07:01 AM (5I0Yr)

58

Are you as angry about the broken Senate as we are? In the movies, in order to filibuster, Senators have to stand in the Senate and make their case to the American people. But in the modern Senate, a filibuster takes no such act of principle or courage. Senators can filibuster simply by placing a phone call to a clerk and heading off to dinner!

This January 5th, we have a chance to change the rules of the Senate, and make Senators engage in an all night talk-a-thon in order to block legislation or nominations. We can make the filibuster a real filibuster, and put an end to obstruction for the sake of obstruction. The key is to adopt new rules on the first day the Senate convenes next year, when only a simple majority of Senators is required for a rules change.

We’re fighting with some dedicated colleagues to make this happen, but to get across the finish line, we need members of the Daily Kos community to show their support. You can do so by signing the petition Daily Kos has created in support of making the filibuster real.

Senators need to hear from their constituents on this. As such, we will use your support of this effort to make the case to other Senators that we must reform the filibuster on January 5th.

Join us, and Daily Kos, in support of making the filibuster a real filibuster. We can put an end to obstruction for the sake of obstruction, but your support is key.

Keep fighting,
Senator Jeff Merkley
Senator Tom Udall


Posted by: Soothsayer3P0 at December 31, 2010 07:02 AM (i7Grp)

59
this Sunday SUNDAY SUNDAY come to the Worcester Colisseum for a
REAL FILIBUSTER!

See your favorite monster senators battle in a REAL Flibuster!!!

Sunday Sunday SUNDAYYYYY!

Posted by: Soothsayer3P0 at December 31, 2010 07:03 AM (i7Grp)

Posted by: ngekngok at December 31, 2010 07:15 AM (K///b)

61 re: the Muslim sitcom Canada already did it. It was called Little Mosque on the Prairie, was about good peaceful Muslims living amongst ignorant white hicks in wheat country, and all the Muslims were played by Indian Hindus. It sucked.

Posted by: Fozzy at December 31, 2010 08:08 AM (wwVFe)

62 Wow......I'm glad today was a slow work day.  That was 2 hours, or whatever, that I'll never get back.

Had it's moments, but I'll never watch again unless I've got time to literally KILL.

Posted by: Sponge at December 31, 2010 08:31 AM (UK9cE)

63 Where is the flaming skull?  The single hottest topic in the news today, and you drop some ordinary post on it.

No wonder Fox has more viewers.

OK, so they have Megyn. Yeah, that probably has more to do with it.

Posted by: Snarcrates at December 31, 2010 08:42 AM (PqKUh)

64 "61 re: the Muslim sitcom

Canada already did it. It was called Little Mosque on the Prairie, was about good peaceful Muslims living amongst ignorant white hicks in wheat country, and all the Muslims were played by Indian Hindus. It sucked."

It sure did.  Frankly, I'm surprised there wasn't more outrage over the suckitude of the show and how people I grew up with were portrayed.  I grew up in Saskatchewan and while some people are ignorant assholes where I grew up, I find that ignorant asshole is not limited to small towns or the prairies. 
At any rate, I was offended by the show and I don't even live in Canada anymore....

On Topic - I am not a huge Star Wars fan to begin with.  I like the original movies okay.  They aren't great movies, but compared to the prequels, they are the greatest thing ever.  I love some of the actors who were involved in the prequels.  Liam Neeson, Sam Jackson, Natalie Portman and Ewan McGregor are all very good actors who have done good to great movies OUTSIDE of the Star Wars prequels.  Yet these movies have made them into cardboard cutouts and in general they are all terrible in these movies.  It must have been a frustrating experience to not be able to act, instead they could have been just some random person on the street given cue cards who read out the lines until the big action extravaganza appears. 
Then again, that's the problem with many, many movies now.  They aren't about the story.  They are about the special effects....

Posted by: specious at December 31, 2010 08:55 AM (KV25a)

65

...  a Muslim sitcom?

Like Little Mosque on the Prairie? That was funny enough, but it seemed to be a Corner Gas copycat in too many ways.

Besides, Dan for Mayor is funnier.

Posted by: FireHorse at December 31, 2010 09:30 AM (sWynj)

66 Whenever i think of the Star Wars prequels all that comes to mind is Hayden Christinsen and Natalie Portman constantly looking into each others dead eyes and speaking in their robotic, monotone voices. It's like a movie length version of Red Eyes Robot Theatre.

Posted by: booger at December 31, 2010 09:39 AM (9RFH1)

67

I like the Red Letter Media reviews. He spends some time with the low-hanging fruit of confusing plots, un-convincing motivations, and poor writing - and it's hilarious.

But the best parts in each is how he really does know what the hell he's talking about with the real critique of the films. This time he focusses in on the terrible constraints that green screening everything had on the makeup of the shots, the actor's sometimes bafflingly constrained movements, and the horrible results with dialogue scenes. He also really nails the mistakes made in the "story" as a whole - that Lucas developed the story without really seeing if it made any sense. He discusses the fact that he had chosen to tell a character story with uneven tone starting at the wrong time with all the interesting aspects of the main character occuring off-screen between movies. That's just one critique of many presented, many of them with a good bit of humor.

Whenever I finish one of these reviews, I always feel like I've learned a bunch about films, too.

Posted by: Inspector Asshole at December 31, 2010 10:13 AM (d6yBx)

68 As a long time Lucas fan, I think you all can go fuck yourselves.

Posted by: Serious Cat at December 31, 2010 10:23 AM (u8Wrj)

69 finally! 

Posted by: brak at December 31, 2010 10:55 AM (nIoiW)

70 I think you all can go fuck yourselves.

Mesa sad.

Posted by: toby928 at December 31, 2010 10:56 AM (S5YRY)

71 I think that of the three, this one was the most serious. He really tore apart Lucas from a film-maker perspective and the comparison to Citizen Kane towards the end was brilliant. The first two concentrated more on plot holes and bad acting. Here he went straight for the jugular, and attacked Lucas's film style. He nailed the couch stuff, he nailed the walking dialogue, he nailed the "shot, reverse shot" stuff and he highlighted my biggest pet peeve, the total disconnect between the actors and the scenery around them, because so much of what we see involved actors doing lines in front of a green screen and not having the ability to tailor their deliveries to the environment the moviegoer will eventually see.

Posted by: Chris R at December 31, 2010 12:42 PM (QiNmA)

72 And I still think the reviewer is Ace.

Posted by: Decaf at January 01, 2011 02:33 AM (C119q)

73

Sadly, the longer George Lucas went on with his career the less he knew about film-making.

On the other hand, his brilliance seems to have departed with his first wife.  Coincidence?  I think not.

Posted by: Decaf at January 01, 2011 04:23 AM (C119q)

74 This review was sick in a funny way, yet insightful.  I felt like I was watching someone beat a baby seal to death, one of the fluffy haired ones!

Posted by: Africanus at January 01, 2011 11:13 AM (ygqbC)

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Posted by: franklinew at July 04, 2011 06:54 PM (FmDqk)

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