December 31, 2009

Rasmussen: 58% of Public Are Pee-Stained Sissypants
— Ace

Waterboard Farouk? Abdullahlullahblullahlullah or whatever?

58% say Yes, please!

30% say "No, we're too busy being all bad-ass and ass-kicking and stuff to actually do anything about these miscreants."

Thanks to AHFF Geoff.

Posted by: Ace at 11:40 AM | Comments (72)
Post contains 47 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Perhaps Obambi could tell us once more about how waterboarding offends American values.

Posted by: Benson at December 31, 2009 11:41 AM (qzcNU)

2 (Image- Washington crossing the Delaware) Caption: "AMERICA- we will kill you in your sleep on Christmas."

Posted by: GregInSeattle at December 31, 2009 11:42 AM (B5cM9)

3 Can I volunteer to do it to him?

Posted by: nevergiveup at December 31, 2009 11:42 AM (ekqTc)

4
Are we still going to execute him later?  If so,  sure,  waterboard him.

Posted by: Dang at December 31, 2009 11:47 AM (UA4gE)

5 We're a little busy at the moment, but we'll be glad to help.

http://bit.ly/54QmLJ

Posted by: George and Dick at December 31, 2009 11:48 AM (BFqyO)

6 I remember waking up Christmas morning and seeing a Waterboard Farouk board game under the tree. I still tear up thinking about it.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 31, 2009 11:48 AM (muUqs)

7 Are we still going to execute him later? If so, sure, waterboard him. Posted by: Dang at December 31, 2009 04:47 PM (UA4gE) Well if we execute him first, the water boarding has a tendency to gather less intelligence?

Posted by: nevergiveup at December 31, 2009 11:49 AM (ekqTc)

8 We should just put the rest of he crotch bomb back in his pants and set it off.

Posted by: Ace's liver at December 31, 2009 11:49 AM (XIXhw)

9 As I've said all along, there are those who say the 58% are acting stupidly.

Posted by: Barry O'Bowma at December 31, 2009 11:49 AM (Pq3ay)

10
Just make sure to tape his miranda rights to the water jug.

Posted by: Blazer at December 31, 2009 11:51 AM (t72+4)

11 Well, it's a good thang we've got jazz musicials bike riders to explain how BO ain't mincin' just wurds and keeps you warmonger wing-nutz in ero, pinin' for the fiords.

Posted by: Won't Study War no Mo at December 31, 2009 11:52 AM (kb0wl)

12 I'm gobstoppingingly heartached!

Posted by: Andy McDandy Sullivan at December 31, 2009 11:53 AM (klT8S)

13 Waterboard the guy for 45 seconds and find out what he knows or wait 3 or 4 years while his team of lawyers hampers you every step of the year?
I don't doubt that waterboarding is extremely terrifying, bnt it's not torture. This is a war.

Posted by: lincolntf at December 31, 2009 11:53 AM (rwlcW)

14 Does it have to be water, or can we use another liquid?  Say, we have a herd of pigs and get them to drink a lot of water, then have them stay on a slanted hedged surface with a big drain at the bottom of it and a big tank to collect the fluids (plus whatever else) that drain off.....


Posted by: Intrepid at December 31, 2009 11:54 AM (92zkk)

15 I so wish Jack Bauer and CTU were real.

Posted by: goddessoftheclassroom at December 31, 2009 11:54 AM (jmPQf)

16 I do not remember where I read this but, just know the quote is not mine "Waterboard him until his lungs meet the federal wetland criteria."

Posted by: Picric at December 31, 2009 11:55 AM (+gOK7)

17 I've got a little gift for all the Morons...

http://tinyurl.com/nfklkb

Takes you to a site where you can listen to all the New Year's insanity in your area on live EMS/Fire/Police scanners....

Enjoy.

Posted by: FORGER - Racist Czar at December 31, 2009 11:55 AM (o4Xi+)

18 We can't go to waterboarding until we've exhausted all efforts to politely cajole him to talk.

Posted by: Cicero at December 31, 2009 11:55 AM (QKKT0)

19 It is NOT a war!  It's a criminal investigation!

Posted by: Typical Liberal at December 31, 2009 11:55 AM (B5cM9)

20 13

"every step of the way",  duhhh

Posted by: lincolntf at December 31, 2009 11:55 AM (rwlcW)

21

I'll bet he wished he could have been waterboarded right after he lit his jewels on fire, I know I would have.

Posted by: Blazer at December 31, 2009 11:57 AM (t72+4)

22 Blackie Lawless called--he's suing for copyright infringement on the flaming codpiece. 

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at December 31, 2009 11:58 AM (DPM1U)

23 He should get the same as that rascal in Iraq got with Sting singing in the background as the rope is sprung!!! Saddamn as W would say.

Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at December 31, 2009 11:58 AM (nmfvn)

24 I'll bet he wished he could have been waterboarded right after he lit his jewels on fire, I know I would have. Posted by: Blazer at December 31, 2009 04:57 PM (t72+4) Me, I'd rather have sprayed him with an excellerant? But that's just me?

Posted by: nevergiveup at December 31, 2009 11:59 AM (ekqTc)

25

Poor Farouk--he can't even pee his name in the snow. 

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at December 31, 2009 12:00 PM (DPM1U)

26 Oh, come on. Release him so he can look for the real highjacker. He burned his junk off--what else does he have to do?

Posted by: OJ Simpson at December 31, 2009 12:01 PM (YCVBL)

27 Why would anyone leave a pony country to blow up a non-pony country?

Posted by: Jerry Seinfeld at December 31, 2009 12:01 PM (BFqyO)

28 Clearly that 71% who prefer military options, don't understand [scareqoutes]terrorism[/scarequotes] is a social justice issue.

Posted by: sophisticated progressive thinker at December 31, 2009 12:01 PM (zJ2yz)

29 "...while his team of lawyers hampers you..."

Oh, can we waterboard the lawyers too?

Posted by: Paladin at December 31, 2009 12:03 PM (JqMIA)

30

Farouk aka, The Eunuch Bomber

Posted by: Blazer at December 31, 2009 12:03 PM (t72+4)

31 And when there is a successful attack, there won't be any more searches of Granny and old Uncle Joe.  There will be full fledged, out and out, no holds barred profiling.  Or whatever else Mathew Yglesias wants to call it.


Posted by: SlaveDog at December 31, 2009 12:04 PM (W+E+o)

32 I wonder if placing a 300 pound pig in a cell with a confirmed Islamic terriorist torture? especially if he forgot how to talk.  If he screams, he knows how to talk.  Simple!

Posted by: mystry at December 31, 2009 12:07 PM (kmgIE)

33 I wonder if placing a 300 pound pig in a cell with a confirmed Islamic terriorist torture?

Sorry, but I'm too busy to get involved in that.

Posted by: Rosie O'Donnell at December 31, 2009 12:09 PM (9Wv2j)

34 28

To be fair, this young gentleman  was forced to live in a paltry 3 million dollar apartment while attending graduate school in Britain. How many of us wouldn't have resented Western Imperialism and global institutional racism after such a brutal and hardscrabble life?
Maybe if we'd done more Nigerian banking, like the e-mails told us to, he wouldn't have been so desperate and vulnerable.

Posted by: My head hurts at December 31, 2009 12:09 PM (rwlcW)

35 This kid is too stoooopid to be a jihadi he just wanted attention he's not really down with the cause now, dickless twit!

Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at December 31, 2009 12:11 PM (nmfvn)

36 #31
Quite the contrary.
Expect to see 82 year old, apple cheeked, Irish nuns subjected to cavity searches.

Posted by: sophisticated progressive thinker at December 31, 2009 12:11 PM (zJ2yz)

37

I wonder if placing a 300 pound pig in a cell with a confirmed Islamic terriorist torture?

In Soviet Russia, you don't eat bacon.  Bacon eat you.

Posted by: Yakov Smirnoff at December 31, 2009 12:11 PM (QKKT0)

38 Is there a sale on prestained sissy-pants? It could stimulate the economy if there were.

Posted by: rightzilla at December 31, 2009 12:12 PM (rVJH4)

39

Is there a sale on prestained sissy-pants?

Chuckles Johnson's site has a nice selection in all colors and sizes.

Posted by: Killgore Blowfish at December 31, 2009 12:13 PM (QKKT0)

40 Wonder if Barry will swim with sharks before his vacay is over?

Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at December 31, 2009 12:14 PM (nmfvn)

41

I wonder if placing a 300 pound pig in a cell with a confirmed Islamic terriorist torture?

Calling on Rosanne Bar and Rosie O'Donuts! Perhaps they could mud wrestle to see who gets to be the pig.

Posted by: rightzilla at December 31, 2009 12:14 PM (rVJH4)

42

I grew up with four older brothers. Waterboarding is a fucking walk in the park compared to some of the shit I had done to me.

Did Khalid Sheik Mohamad ever have his arms duct taped to his sides and have his legs wrapped at the ankles and then thrown into the deep end in the pool when Mom and Dad were at a euchre tournament??

...pussy

Posted by: rum, sodomy and the lash at December 31, 2009 12:16 PM (AnTyA)

43

I'm thinking a couple of hard pipe hitting brothers go midevil on his ass.

Posted by: Bosk at December 31, 2009 12:19 PM (pUO5u)

44 I was water boarded in Army training way before Bush/Cheney and 9/11.

Can I sue?  (maybe not, because I am not a Muslim, a terrorist, I was not lonely, and I did not piss myself during it. Damn!)

Posted by: hous bin pharteen at December 31, 2009 12:21 PM (pU4D7)

45 i vote option d.  s&w m&p 40 cal to his face. post it up on youtube.

Posted by: evil libertarian at December 31, 2009 12:23 PM (x9lGm)

46
Waterboarding?  Make him watch Oprah tour the White House with the Obamas on Christmas day.  I only saw the preview for it and clawed my own eyes out.  BTW - how am I doing on the typing?

Posted by: Dang at December 31, 2009 12:23 PM (UA4gE)

47 waterboarding v. getting Daniel Pearled. I see no distinction

Posted by: rightzilla at December 31, 2009 12:25 PM (rVJH4)

48 Ace, if you used moral authority like Captain America, you would know that Al Qaeda is a joke. On 9-11, I laughed at their incompetence from under my bed in a puddle of nice warm urine

Posted by: palin steele, the only asskicker not afraid of terrorists on AoS at December 31, 2009 12:25 PM (sYxEE)

49 Eh. I say we give Farouk a grenade and a plane ticket to Europe. It's really the only smart strategy we have.

Posted by: Matthew Yglesias' Cerebral Juices at December 31, 2009 12:25 PM (50S+L)

50 Naahh.  If you pour lighter fluid on him and light a match, he is going to want to be water boarded.  It's a win-win situation!

Posted by: hous bin pharteen at December 31, 2009 12:25 PM (pU4D7)

51 If we try to win, the terrorists win. Do I have that about right, Proggies?

Posted by: lincolntf at December 31, 2009 12:27 PM (rwlcW)

52

If you just want to be mean, kill him from acute Andrew Sullivan panty dancing on his face.

I denounce myself.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 31, 2009 12:28 PM (dQdrY)

53

OBastard's definition of President: "I pretend to be more than poor Island trash and sometimes I wear a tie."

Posted by: rightzilla at December 31, 2009 12:29 PM (rVJH4)

54 Put him on a C130 and send him back to Yeman.

Sgt Brown goes back into the rear of the cargo plane and see's the door open while they are at 5,000 feet.

"Private Ace!  Where is Farouk!"  Sgt Brown asks.

Private Ace looks to his side and only see's Farouk sneakers.

Then he smiles, looks at the open door, and says;  "He was just siting here and then, poof!  He is gone!  Those 72 virgins kidnapped him!"

Posted by: hous bin pharteen at December 31, 2009 12:35 PM (pU4D7)

55 Why waste the water? The f ker is singing like a canary.

Posted by: Kemp at December 31, 2009 12:36 PM (2+9Yx)

56 Did Khalid Sheik Mohamad ever have his arms duct taped to his sides and have his legs wrapped at the ankles and then thrown into the deep end in the pool when Mom and Dad were at a euchre tournament??
----------------

Was he ever stripped naked and tied to a tree in his front yard while all the neighborhood kids rode by on their bikes?

Was he ever ordered to say "Uncle" with a fist in his solar plexus?

Did he ever have cat shit rubbed in his hair?

Was he ever used as target practice by kids throwing rock-hard baby limes off the neighbor's tree?

Posted by: arhooley at December 31, 2009 12:41 PM (GKXA7)

57 give Farouk a grenade and a plane ticket to Europe
----------------

Or a plane ticket to Russia, from the looks of that other thread down theah about Putin.

Posted by: arhooley at December 31, 2009 12:43 PM (GKXA7)

58 Just added the following status message to my IM (AskParisParamus at gmail): Waterboarding > Explosions

Posted by: ParisParamus at December 31, 2009 12:51 PM (Hv1Cx)

59 Pee-stained Sassypants? Say it ain't so!!!

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2009 12:55 PM (QECjC)

60

Did a girl hold him down and rub her hair across his face over and over?

Did he have a sister with long fingernails and a temper?

Was he forced to eat Brussel Sprouts at the age of 8?

 

Posted by: rightzilla at December 31, 2009 12:58 PM (rVJH4)

61 Aw, shucks, just let Mike Leach close any jihadi up in his special 'lectrik closet with a pair of Lance Rentzel sunglasses slapped on his face.  He'll be a wimpering bag of toast in fifteen minutes.

Posted by: LC LaWedgie at December 31, 2009 01:15 PM (kb0wl)

62 56:    You grew up in a place that had lime trees? And you're complaining about your childhood?  We could make lime popsicles on our front porch in May usually.

Posted by: Spud at December 31, 2009 01:16 PM (iaMr2)

63 Was he told you know your adopted don't you when he was 5 gee I had great older brothers and sisters that was just the beginning of the things they did to me growing up.I think I would have picked water boarding.

Posted by: TEE866 at December 31, 2009 01:19 PM (penrP)

64 And I wasn't adopted just for the record they just wanted to mess with my head from a young age.

Posted by: TEE866 at December 31, 2009 01:23 PM (penrP)

65 My sister was just a typical blackmailer. I still hate her.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 31, 2009 01:24 PM (dQdrY)

66 gee I had great older brothers and sisters that was just the beginning of the things they did to me growing up.I think I would have picked water boarding.

I'm beginning to think there were advantages to being an only child.

Posted by: PA Cat at December 31, 2009 01:32 PM (y8eI+)

67
"He burned his junk off--what else does he have to do?"

Does this mean he's eligible for a Darwin Award?

Posted by: Brown Line at December 31, 2009 01:51 PM (a52FH)

68 He could be released for public humiliation.
An I-phone app could be written that causes the phone to laugh when mr flaming underpants comes near.

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