October 31, 2008
— Ace He's planning and over-the-horizon redeployment to Meltdown with Keith Olbermann.
After a campaign rally, incumbent Pennsylvania Rep. John Murtha walked out on an interview with Channel 11 when he was pressed to answer questions regarding controversial comments he previously made to the press.
When pressed about his controversial comments, Murtha said, Now you see what youre doing? Youre getting away from the real issues of this campaign. You are getting away from the economy and health care. You are getting away from education.
Education? What the hell can you teach these lynch-lovin' ig'rant hicks?
JONESTOWN ADULT LEARNING ANNEX
Basic "Fidjo" Crafting. Drooling subretards will be taught the basics of constructing a cretinous bastardized musical instrument called the "fidjo," a combination fiddle and banjo.
Step One: Get a fiddle and a banjo.
Step Two: Crazy glue and/or duct-tape the fiddle to the back of the banjo.
Step Three: Have a hootenany. Use your skills with the fidjo to seduce your underage cousin Becky-June.
Advanced "Shotgunjo" Crafting. Prerequisite: Basic "Fidjo" Crafting.
Six-tooth, eight-finger mutants will be taught the basics of creating a moronic hybrid of shotgun and banjo.
Step One: Get a shotgun and banjo.
Step Two: Crazy glue and/or duct-tape the shotgun to the back of the banjo.
Step Three: Hold a "shootenany." Threaten to kill your underage cousin Becky-June when she threatens to squeal you knocked her up. Best results can be had if you make sure she doesn't herself possess as shotgunjo before proceeding to this step. Which she probably does, being a moron and all.
Posted by: Sean at October 31, 2008 03:26 PM (vZzYJ)
And I really hope this cocksucker loses.
Posted by: Ryan Frank at October 31, 2008 03:26 PM (tPQKj)
You know, when you're dealing with such a redneck constituency, it's good to remember they really appreciate your pissy attitude, condescension and unwillingness to stand up like a man and defend your (outrageous) positions and statements.
C'mon LtCol. Russell. You can do it man.
Posted by: Dave in Texas at October 31, 2008 03:27 PM (eiOZw)
Posted by: TheFred at October 31, 2008 03:28 PM (0XpI7)
You made Haditha an issue, John. Now, man up and admit you were wrong.
Posted by: arbuthnot at October 31, 2008 03:28 PM (Tw7Fm)
Posted by: Stinky Esposito at October 31, 2008 03:30 PM (MMC8r)
Posted by: Jim62sch at October 31, 2008 03:30 PM (6rQXk)
Time to look for a new job, Jackass!
Posted by: Eeyore's Swinging Sack at October 31, 2008 03:31 PM (VYEVW)
Posted by: Bryan C at October 31, 2008 03:31 PM (fmzOJ)
Only the One can pull that off.
Posted by: forest at October 31, 2008 03:31 PM (cjFle)
Posted by: Amused Observer at October 31, 2008 03:33 PM (SxTmM)
God, I wish someone had asked him:
"Senator Murtha, would you consider the racism of your constituents to be an issue best addressed by reeducation, or should it instead be treated as a mental health issue?"
Posted by: Clint at October 31, 2008 03:35 PM (oZ5OG)
Posted by: ricky at October 31, 2008 03:35 PM (iD5Bq)
Someone needs to clue the Dems in that Murtha's actions during this campaign season are what erratic behavior by a politician looks like, not John McCain singing "Bomb Iran" as a joke.
Posted by: BrandonInBatonRouge at October 31, 2008 03:36 PM (U7TcP)
Posted by: William Amos at October 31, 2008 03:38 PM (SpaTx)
'Step Three: Hold a "shootenany." Threaten to kill your underage cousin Becky-June when she threatens to squeal you knocked her up.'
Maybe Murtha can officiate the shotgunjo wedding !!
Posted by: jc at October 31, 2008 03:39 PM (i8c5b)
Posted by: William Amos at October 31, 2008 03:39 PM (SpaTx)
Posted by: William Amos at October 31, 2008 03:46 PM (SpaTx)
Posted by: Crimson Tide Guy at October 31, 2008 03:48 PM (15dNW)
Posted by: mare at October 31, 2008 03:49 PM (X1fsj)
Posted by: Crimson Tide Guy at October 31, 2008 03:50 PM (15dNW)
He's a pussy, what happend to all this "leadership" talk?
Don't get away from teh issues with Dem's, but avoid the issues at all costs when talking to 'pubs, cuz we need to hear about her loner clothes more than about success, or energy competance, or how spreading the wealth is a first step towards socialism.
Fuck that! Is trig really her kid? Is Willow sexualy active, because of a bad family life, and when can we expect willow to be pregnant just like Bristol.
And don't forget about pipers handbag, that might be real or a knockoff.
Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 03:51 PM (ul7te)
Posted by: Blazer at October 31, 2008 03:53 PM (+FzLa)
Posted by: Tami at October 31, 2008 03:56 PM (P3ErD)
Roy Orbison in his only hollywood movie , a western, had a guitar with a rifle built into it.
As for Murthafrigger, He can kiss my Redneck ass.
Posted by: 1sttofight at October 31, 2008 03:57 PM (WNzrw)
#24 - no, you're not the only one.
I gave Bill Russell $50 last night. Can't think of many candidates it would be better to give it to. He can do this.
Posted by: fiatboomer at October 31, 2008 04:04 PM (QpY7Y)
Hope and Change!
Posted by: Brewdog at October 31, 2008 04:05 PM (oZ8o0)
Posted by: locus ceruleus at October 31, 2008 04:08 PM (e2mBS)
Crazy glue? CRAZY GLUE? You're Manhattan ass don't know SHIT about music boy. Fuckin' big city elitist.
Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at October 31, 2008 04:11 PM (YNQeP)
Posted by: Purple Avenger at October 31, 2008 04:13 PM (OqXyp)
that was momentarily scary-right at below the fold, I swear I thought that was Herr olbermann with his mouth open in mid rant in the embed
Imagine him telling us how much he hates us/America on the 5th--I might just go next door to see that (neighbors have cable)
Posted by: Dale Gribble at October 31, 2008 04:13 PM (Os9zl)
Just like Obama and Biden, answer any question you don't like with a demand that you be allowed to get back to your scripted, focus-grouped talking points.
Posted by: Ronsonic at October 31, 2008 04:13 PM (ywSvi)
That made me sad. Bitch.
Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at October 31, 2008 04:17 PM (YNQeP)
Did anyone see the Al Franken video where he talks about assassinating the President "through the kitchen in the basement"? Look, Donks, if the Kennedys actually have mob connections, wouldn't this be a great time to you know, use them?
Holy shit, what a piece of shit Franken is.
Posted by: sherlock at October 31, 2008 04:20 PM (ojW85)
No shit, Sherlock.
I'm sorry. That was irresistable.
Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at October 31, 2008 04:25 PM (YNQeP)
Posted by: Editor at October 31, 2008 04:26 PM (p4YSL)
Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at October 31, 2008 04:27 PM (YNQeP)
Posted by: Dave S at October 31, 2008 04:37 PM (K4++v)
Student loans? Michelle's been bitching for the last year about having to repay them.
Posted by: HeatherRadish at October 31, 2008 04:39 PM (DLN6/)
Posted by: Michelle's American White Racist at October 31, 2008 04:39 PM (NLtVk)
No shit, Sherlock.
I'm sorry. That was irresistable.
I played golf a couple of years ago with two guys I met on the course. One of 'em introduced himself as "Sherlock." About the 13th hole, I asked the other guy "So, whats his nickname? No Shit? He looked at me and says"No, I don't think he has a nickname." I'm still trying to figure that one out.
Posted by: Hammer at October 31, 2008 04:39 PM (8nB5X)
"Congressman Murtha, is it true that like Bill Ayres, you're as 'guilty as hell and free as a bird?'"
Posted by: DelD at October 31, 2008 04:41 PM (Yw/4J)
Posted by: Wickedpinto at October 31, 2008 04:43 PM (ul7te)
Posted by: toby928 at October 31, 2008 04:52 PM (PD1tk)
Posted by: Warden at October 31, 2008 04:53 PM (km1mp)
Wow. With people like that, they're called "corncobs" where I'm from. And they don't smell very good.
Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at October 31, 2008 05:00 PM (YNQeP)
Posted by: Arthur at October 31, 2008 05:26 PM (2+qaE)
And this vagina cavity yeast infection was in the MARINES???
There. fixed it for you.
Posted by: fulldroolcup at October 31, 2008 05:28 PM (aLDzD)
Fuck you very much Okinawa Jack, you despicable sucker of barbed cock.
How's it feel to know you not only fucked yourself, but you also almost single-handedly cost The One Pennsylvania? I don't think the EV count will be that close (I figure the Mav gets about 296), but I'm going to laugh my ass right off if you cost TelePrompter Jesus Guy the election after him throwing $700 million and two years of his life into it because you were just being your ass-bag self.
Posted by: ConcernedCitizen at October 31, 2008 08:07 PM (hmDr/)
Posted by: BHRIO at October 31, 2008 08:16 PM (VVcm4)
Actually, it's Johnstown (yeah, yeah, I got the reference).
Posted by: rightwingprof at October 31, 2008 11:41 PM (52wuV)
Posted by: Typical Moonbat Lefty at November 01, 2008 04:41 AM (cbBOa)
Posted by: richy at December 07, 2008 11:19 PM (nWyuK)
Posted by: fghjk at December 17, 2008 03:58 PM (vV3tk)
Posted by: ccccc at January 04, 2009 04:13 PM (wra3/)
Posted by: nyth at February 04, 2009 07:07 PM (PsxXH)
Posted by: Advertising signs at January 07, 2011 10:12 PM (JsxNx)
Posted by: saly sa at April 11, 2011 05:11 AM (jQ3Gm)
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