November 29, 2007

Packing Day
— Ace

After taking far too many trips down to NYC to scout apartments I finally took one. I'm moving down there Saturday.

And I haven't packed a damn thing.

So Friday is going to be somewhat light for me on blogging, and by light, I think I mean "nonexistent."

Open Blog, I guess. If you want.

Posted by: Ace at 09:00 PM | Comments (59)
Post contains 59 words, total size 1 kb.


Ever forgive me for the mustard incident and allow me to post here? I swear to God I didn't know the goat would mount you... that hard. And I promise I won't do lezzie pr0n; doesn't float my boat, though I can make no promises about actual boat pr0n (you allow others to have man-on-car postings!). Fynq.

Posted by: TheEJS at November 29, 2007 09:10 PM (KINJc)

2 Oh shit! Run for your lives boys!

Posted by: Chairman of the NYC Hobo Association at November 29, 2007 09:11 PM (hlYel)

3 And... The inmates are now in charge.  To the warden's office!  Let's get that confiscated porn!

Posted by: Secundus at November 29, 2007 09:12 PM (g6uKI)

4 It's a "Gabe and Jack Weekend!" the the HQ.

I won't be in my bunk.

Posted by: Dr. Remulak at November 29, 2007 09:16 PM (/bNbT)

5 Ace better make sure you can move in on Saturday. Many buildings in NYC do not allow moving in or out on Saturday and Sunday. Many buildings also have rules regarding times when moves are allowed and the need to have building personnel or licenced, bonded, insured movers, do the work.

Posted by: dri at November 29, 2007 09:29 PM (ftN71)

6 Ace, more NYC moving news: Each building has different rules but all buildings have resrictions
on when you can move in and all buildings require you to submit to management or
the owner a certificate of insurance for your mover usually 2-3 days
prior.  You also can only move in on certain days and at certain times and
you must sign up to move in and give a deposit,

Posted by: dri at November 29, 2007 09:43 PM (ftN71)

7 man do u have to give them ur dental records, and std tests just to move in to?

Posted by: steven c at November 29, 2007 10:06 PM (5WMwL)

8 When you leave Boston, don't forget to shout "Manny and Big Papi, kiss my ass!!!"

It's the classy way to leave the city.

Posted by: JayC at November 29, 2007 10:14 PM (+1O2Q)


In addition, all your boxes must bear the likeness of the Hindu goddess Kali, wearing jeans and a Michael Vick jersey.  Copies of your grandmother's last Pap smear must be submitted--in triplicate--to the building supervisor, the fire department, and the NYC public library that is FURTHEST from where you plan to live.

You must arrive in a day-glo purple moving van with five tires, one of which must be flat.  Your movers must be union members, and must have been on strike at any point within the last twelve months.


Posted by: Secundus at November 29, 2007 10:18 PM (g6uKI)

10 I am not kidding about that moving to NYC crap. It is brutal! Imagine how complicated it would be to move into an apartment in Paris and you begin to get the picture.

Posted by: dri at November 29, 2007 10:23 PM (ftN71)

11 good luck in the city, asshole!

Don't forget Althouse is up there.  She's got a pretty interesting personality.... and beauty is always only a lightswitch away.

NYC is a great place to live with great hassles.  Ignore the crap and it's the best place on earth.

Posted by: PJ at November 29, 2007 10:57 PM (8dfqL)

12 I hope you have enough valu-rite and cheese dogs to make the trip. 
Ya shoulda moved to DC metro area city like Annapolis or Harper's Ferry.  Lots of charm--no hookers.

Posted by: writerstrike at November 29, 2007 11:47 PM (F7BxL)

Friday he packs.
Saturday he moves.
Sunday he unpacks.
Monday he is really really sore.

It's going to be at least a 4 day Ace blackout.

Posted by: aoshq janitorial & escort service at November 30, 2007 12:21 AM (ibiEO)

14 #13 - you left out the valu-rite Vodka intermissions in between.  At least a 6 day period with no Ace!

Posted by: Robert at November 30, 2007 12:26 AM (oHBxM)


13 and 14 - Don't forget an extra couple of days to track down the updated hangout locations of the thai trannies and hobos.

I say 2 weeks. minimum.

Posted by: theBman at November 30, 2007 04:30 AM (U+CHu)


BTW Ace, I think they cut down the tree you could climb that gave easy access to the Llama cage at the NYC Zoo.

You'll have to find a new way in.

Posted by: theBman at November 30, 2007 04:33 AM (U+CHu)

17 New York's alright if you like saxophones.

Posted by: craig at November 30, 2007 04:37 AM (30PPy)

18 Wait! Ace has stuff to pack?

Posted by: eddiebear at November 30, 2007 04:41 AM (wnU1W)

19 happy to have you comin down to my neck of the woods. you'll love it here...for all the BS about regulations and nanny state sh!t (most of which apply to business anyway), and the high cigarette price if thats your thing, its the greatest city in the world and a wonderful place to live

Posted by: Ernesto at November 30, 2007 04:48 AM (2rvbh)

20 Remember, you must wear Red Sox apparel at all times while in NYC. They love the Red Sox here!

Posted by: Rich at November 30, 2007 05:23 AM (lF2Kk)

21 I didn't know much about you Ace, this is a great site (you can swear on it without getting bumped) but I never took you for an East coast guy. I've been there lots of times...overrated.

Posted by: Mike in Chicago at November 30, 2007 05:24 AM (/L1AV)

22 So, look what we got movin' into our 'hood, youse guys....

Posted by: Don "Stinky" of the Hobo Mafia at November 30, 2007 05:26 AM (5aa4z)


Thems either new rules or they apply to stuffy high rises on the upper east side where hobos are too thin on the ground in any case.  I did ten years hard time in NYC, 3 different boroughs, probably six or seven moves and never dealt with any of that.

Of course, that was the 80s when New York was still New York and Giulian and the Disney company hadn't turned it into a family friendly theme park.  Ed Koch, now that was a mayor!


Posted by: Prufrock at November 30, 2007 05:28 AM (YwbnK)

24 Ace just wants to get in on some of that hot New York subway tunnel Mole People strangling action.

Posted by: Trimegistus at November 30, 2007 05:30 AM (xzoq5)

25 It's a "Gabe and Jack Weekend!" the the HQ.

Hey, don't look at me for posts. Who do you think is helping Ace hide the bodies under the crawl space move his furniture?

A'ight, I'm not really doing that either. But I have weekend plans. Really. I do! (OK, I don't, but I feel bad enough about that already.)

What I'm sayin' is....It just might be an All Gabe Weekend.

By Monday, you'll be begging me for content. Begging, I tell you!

Posted by: Jack M. at November 30, 2007 05:32 AM (Rt2uy)


Ace for moving clothing, I recommend black plastic trashbags over boxes. Seriously.  You can get a lot more clothes into one, and they'll stay clean(sic) and dry no matter what the weather. Plus they're easier to pack into a trunk/backseat/ spare space in the truck. T-shirts, socks, jeans, and the like gain nothing from being spared a little wrinkling.

Just sayin'

Now on a more serious note,

 I also recommend a shopping cart to carry the bags and to get around those Sunday Move-In laws. Why, if you don't shave or wash for a couple of days, everyone will think you're just part of the NY neighborhood that you're moving into (unless being the God of the AOSHQ lifestye pays a lot better than I think).





Posted by: Dia al-Kawwaz at November 30, 2007 05:35 AM (wSBsc)

27 Make sure you pack a gun!

Posted by: GarandFan at November 30, 2007 05:36 AM (+tCxF)

28 "Ace is packing." Fudge?

Posted by: IQUESTIONTHETIMING at November 30, 2007 05:38 AM (Yn8HA)

29 Q:  How is Chelsea Clinton like Hillary's position on the Iraq War?

A:  They are both the result of an awkward straddle.

Posted by: Tiglath Pilsener IV at November 30, 2007 05:46 AM (LTDlr)


I sure hope you aren't planning on using cardboard boxes to move your stuff Ace. Cardboard kills trees! New Yorkers kill people who kill trees! (unless it's used to print the NYT or other leftist crap).

On the plus side, empty cardboard boxes make wonderful cat toys >^,,^<

Seriously, I hate moving! I still have un-unpacked boxes from 10 years ago. Never movin again! Nope, stayin put, barring a lottery win.

Posted by: 5Cats at November 30, 2007 05:54 AM (Knaf0)

No what else causes death and destruction to the planet? Beer fridges.  They want our beer fridges.

Posted by: aoshq janitorial & escort service at November 30, 2007 06:03 AM (ibiEO)


How hard can it be to move when all you own is a computer, a duffel bag filled with ears, and a footlocker with a mummified body inside.

Just make sure you seal the crawlspace when you leave town.

Posted by: A friend will help you move, a good friend will help you move a body, but a real friend will bring h at November 30, 2007 06:15 AM (evdj2)



A friend will help you move, a good friend will help you move a body, but a real friend will bring his own shovel.

Posted by: A friend will help you move, a good friend will help you move a body, but a real friend will bring h at November 30, 2007 06:16 AM (evdj2)


Hobos in New York? Please. I was just back there for a week and I saw like THREE homeless people the whole time.

If you want REAL hobo action, you need to come out here to San Francissco. Hobos are like the civic pets. We support them and everything.

Posted by: Scott at November 30, 2007 06:17 AM (5DkCD)

35 Yeah, people feed them here in SF too, just like pigeons.  And also just like pigeons, they then shit all over the place.  I sometimes suggest to people feeding hobos (and pigeons, for that matter) that maybe they should just pinch a loaf on the sidewalk themselves and cut out the middleman.

Posted by: Alex at November 30, 2007 06:42 AM (Xwqm7)

36 "maybe they should just pinch a loaf on the sidewalk themselves and cut out the middleman"

Funny you should say last trip to SF included five shocking (and confusing) minutes of watching a hobo hang a grogan outside my hotel.  Don't ask why I watched for five minutes, it was like a car accident, I just couldn't turn away.  The valet stood there talking the guy through it the whole time...or so it seemed. 

And the hobo still had nicer shoes than mine. 

Posted by: coleman at November 30, 2007 06:54 AM (4zjxp)


Yeah, people feed them here in SF too, just like pigeons.

Well, if you want to do it right, you kill the hobos, cut them into small pieces and feed them to pigeons.

Posted by: hit and run at November 30, 2007 06:55 AM (jjNS6)

38 #23:  I'm in the same camp.  10+ years, 5 apartments never heard of any of that silliness before.

Posted by: Mad William Flint at November 30, 2007 07:15 AM (PMU0c)



If you haven't touched it in six months, throw it away.  Donate it.  Get rid of it.  You don't need it; don't take it with you.  Six years on and off in the moving business taught me this.

Well, that and to prepack your sex toys and naked pictures of your preteen daughter (!!!!!) prior to the movers getting there.

Posted by: mcgurk at November 30, 2007 07:45 AM (Ri74D)

Jeesh! Not only must we worry about being swarmed by guest bloggers, we have to worry about Ace stepping in fresh steaming hobo do-do when he gets to NY.

Posted by: aoshq janitorial & escort service at November 30, 2007 08:05 AM (ibiEO)


I enjoy Greek mythology as much as anyone, including the Rockefellers. But unlike them, I would not gloat as a greek god over the mass population serving in menial labor at my will or pleasure. And unlike the Rockefellers, I would not paste my god over the sacred symbol of Christians.

The Rockefeller Christmas Tree televised ceremony took me aback with the flying golden Prometheus taking center stage during the homage supposedly being paid to the Christ Child.

Getting to call it a "Christmas" rather than "Holiday" tree was as far as the Rockefellers would take the visual?

Hey, when you get around to seeing the Rockefeller Christmas Tree, tell us, where is the nativity scene? If the public accepts Prometheus front and center display, then grant Jesus at least a place beneath or beside the tree.

Then again, believers know that Jesus saves us all, including Prometheus. So perhaps with the Jewish angels, the Greek gods joined in the heavenly chorus singing, "Glory to God in the Highest, and peace on earth, good will to all people!"

So how 'bout that juxtaposition displacing Hebrew angels with Greek gods? Just noticed it, thought twice, and took the time here to mention it.

Such is life--the assimilating synthesis goes on. I had a German professor who emphatically began with DIFFERENTIATION when I would begin with SIMILARITIES in studying a comparison. It takes both. But synthesizing is another issue all together. The essence of an entity is lost when it amalgamates with others; so, the result had better be worth the loss. After all, mutual respect does not require losing one's self.

I do like Greek mythology as much as anyone else--great story telling of moral lessons and socio-political intrigue.


Posted by: St. Paul Plunder at November 30, 2007 08:13 AM (bGDqs)


The hardest part about moving to New York?

Having to tell your parents that you're gay.

Posted by: theBman at November 30, 2007 08:31 AM (/vN7m)

43 Where is WickedPinto? Is he merely MIA ... or dead?

Posted by: Steve (the artist formerly known as Ed Snate) at November 30, 2007 08:49 AM (XZFbS)

44 Steve (tafkaes), the pinto joined the ranks of the employed. Plus he's taking a break from blogs. We're hoping he comes back soon.

Posted by: PattyAnn at November 30, 2007 01:58 PM (nR+Tj)

45 PA: Thanks for the info re WP.

Posted by: Steve (the artist formerly known as Ed Snate) at November 30, 2007 09:12 PM (XZFbS)

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