June 29, 2009

Overnight Open Thread – The Annual Spring Summer Cleaning out of the Bookmarks – (genghis)
— Open Blog

Figured I’d better use ‘em or just put ‘em by the curb with the trash. You’ll probably wish I’d just gone ahead and done the latter.

Item #1: It’s hard to say which party is the more pathetic one in this story, but I just know you’ll take a crack at it anyway: Woman Trades Sex for Case of Chips. As in potato chips.

”A woman pleaded no contest last week to prostitution charges, accused of agreeing to be paid for services with a box of chips by a man who said he was a Frito-Lay employee.”

Smith (the prostitute – ed.) told police the man told her he was looking for company but he didn’t have any money, so she agreed to be paid with a $30 case of Frito-Lay chips he had in the back of his car.”

“A police spokesman said the man was not arrested based on "officer discretion."

More likely because the officer was laughing too hard to put the guy in cuffs. The article comes with a photo of Ms. Smith and, while she’s a real keeper and all, I think the john could’ve probably negotiated her down to a twin pack of Pringles. And whatever happened to the “evidence” in this case, hmmmmm?

Additional detritus below the fold.
Item #2: Now for something a little less icky how ‘bout an X-rated Sex Tape for Worms?

”How do you spice up a report about the mating habits of nematode worms? Well, how about an online video of hot nematode-on-nematode action?”

Alright, quit giggling like a bunch of 8th graders. We could learn a lot about the miracle that is natural reproduction from these worms:
”The point of the research is that the male possesses two sets of muscle groups that facilitate mating by keeping his tail in contact with a hermaphrodite mate while he probes for the proper, um, opening. One of the opposing sets of muscles is sex-specific - and that set is key to the males' tail-turning trick.”

Uhh. Or maybe not. Let’s move on to greener pastures, such as auto racing.

Item #3: Because NASCAR fans have been clamoring for this for years now, auto racing is About to go Green.

”The race doesn’t always go to the swiftest. Nowadays, some auto races go to the most fuel-efficient, or to the most environmentally friendly, or even to the best business plan.”

‘Bout damned time I’d say! Hopefully while they’re at it they can also eliminate all those nasty, fiery wrecks. Think about the amount of particulate thrown into the air each year from all those flaming crashes. And why stop at auto racing? I think I can envision a future where they expand this to other forward thinking pro sports as well. Football for example. Consider the average 300+ pound offensive lineman. Imagine the amount of resources they chew up, literally, in terms of food etc. So in that case, a more progressive, “greener” NFL would allow opposing teams to either use twice the number of defensive linemen weighing in at 150 pounds each or even better, using the same number of linemen, still at 150 pounds, but that team would be spotted 77 points at the outset of the game. Sure, I haven’t worked out all the details (such as the added cost to our healthcare system suddenly inundated with a large number of 150 pound linemen every week), but those’ll all get worked out I’m sure. I’m about the big picture here.

Overnight Open Thread is sponsored by the oversexed worms in the second link.

Interruption from tmi3rd:

Apologies to genghis, but this was vitally important to put up:

Sharon Stone Postpones Suicide

Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. Please e-mail overnight open thread tips to xgenghisx@gmail.com. Otherwise send tips to Ace.

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