July 29, 2004

Open Memo
— Ace

To: Al Qaeda-sympathizing liberals

From: Ace of Spades

Re: "Timing"


Please inform us all of when America is permitted to attack or capture Al Qaeda operatives. I ask specifically for you to provide us with a calendar of specified days upon which such anti-terrorist actions are permitted to be conducted.

You keep saying you object to the "timing." Well, then: If it's the timing you object to, surely there must at least nine or ten days between now and November 2nd upon which it is not "suspicious" to hunt terrorists.

I await the announcement of this calendar. Once you have provided it to me, I will coordinate with my corporate masters at the RNC to attempt to restrict all time-sensitive military strikes and covert operations to the specific days upon which you are so graciously allowing America to defend itself.

Please respond ASAP, as this is obviously a pressing matter.


Ace of Spades HQ
Theocratic Liaison for Scheduling
Pre-Determined Announcements of
Victories in the Global War on Terrorism (TM)

PS: Do you really think that your bought-and-paid for liberal cheering section we call the "mainstream media" would ever allow such a minor event as the capture of an Al Qaeda general to overshadow their candidate's coronation?

How much time do you really imagine the media will give this story tonight? A thirty second mention, tops? Will CBS mention it at all?



That's all I have to say, really. I think that says it all, right there.

"Like Kryptonite to Stupid."


Like Kryptonite to Good Arterial Health.

PPPS: Here's CNN's front-page.

Can you find the mention of the capture of an Al Qaeda general?

Joshua Ezekial Bucephus Bluebonnet Cougar Mellancamp Micah Marshall (thanks to a poster for a couple of those) whines about MSNBC's scary-huge coverage of the arrest:

Hmmm, seems pretty sedate to me there, too. It's the first headline under "MORE top stories," the operative word there being "more," meaning it isn't one of the actual top-of-the-page, picture-in-the-banner top stories.

And yet this is too, too much for our onanistic American Taliban Josh Marshall:

Actually, apropos of the previous post, the real sucker on this one seems to be MSNBC rather than CNN. At least thus far. As of 5:43, the Ghailani capture is the headline on the MSNBC website, while it gets lesser billing on CNN. MSNBC is even blaring it more than Fox News (oh the infamy!).

Maybe the media just should have embargoed the story entirely, Josh. It is, after all, just an Al Qaeda general captured. You let us know what sorts of news the media should, until election day, refuse to report entirely, rather than simply down-playing, as they're doing now.

These liberal media-types seem to have an awfully strange notion of what constitutes "informing the American public." Apparently there's a very large class of information which mustn't be reported at all, lest Americans "get the wrong ideas," to wit, ideas which are not pre-approved by members of the Idiotgentsia such as Marshall.

Posted by: Ace at 01:15 PM | Comments (27)
Post contains 507 words, total size 3 kb.

1 ace, man. go get a drink. a strong one.

Not that you're wrong, just your arterial health is probably a little strained right now.

Bury it away in that little hole for the day you find out you have a short-term, invariably fatal disease that allows you to maintain your reflexes and mental acuity . . . .

just kidding, naturally

Posted by: hobgoblin at July 29, 2004 01:33 PM (2da3S)

2 Too hot?

Look, I'm pissed off. Sorry, but I honestly can't abide the Fifth Columnists anymore.

It't not cute anymore.

Posted by: ace at July 29, 2004 01:37 PM (iog7U)

3 The Liberal Cheerleading Section...I always call it the John Kerry For President Mutual Masterbation Society. "We said the nicest things...NO..WE said the nicest things. NO we kissed the most ass."

It really is sad.

btw, Ace...You are my homepage.

Posted by: Jennifer at July 29, 2004 01:50 PM (LG2hk)

4 Here's the predicted response:

"We must admit we were taken aback by your letter to our organization, since we questioned why would you seek our advice NOW on such matters? We wonder about the timing...

But anyway, thank you -- unlike our Commander-in-Thief George Bush -- for coming to your intellectual elitist betters for advice on which courses of action are acceptable. In response to your query, it would be best to AVOID the capture of any high-level al-Qaeda terrorists until after the 2004 election, when war-hero and fighter against special interests -- John Kerry -- will be our next president. We apologize that there will not be any days on the calendar which will be acceptable, but unfortunately that is the only logical course of action, being that you wish to avoid the issue of timing.

However, we recommend that you disable the nation's security apparatus [example: John Ashcroft's seizure of our library records, as well as those whole federal and local security issues] for the duration of the Republican National Convention. If a terrorist attack did occur in NYC while the convention was in progress, with no security in place, it would prove to us that your party is not working with Obama..I mean Osama bin Laden and the Saudis. It would be best that we pull all US forces out of Iraq immediately, since the money would be better spent on money-pits such as Healthcare and Education.

We also advise that you pass all economic executive decisions to Paul Krugman, transferring foreign policy initiatives to a more nuanced, politically-balanced individual, such as Michael Moore, and finally getting the approval of Joshua Micah Hezekiah Proctor Marshall on all domestic issues. When all these measures in place, along with the election of the Hero of America John Kerry and Handsome Boy Toy John Edwards, we then decree it will be acceptable to capture and execute terrorists, as long as we have prior UN approval.

We hope our solutions are to your liking; if not, we'll continue to be the 5th Column."

Sincerely and forever yours,

D. Kucinich
Moonbat Institute for Planetary Peace, Love, and Brotherhood
Director of Islamic - US relations
Bush Knew

Posted by: Cpl. Menno at July 29, 2004 01:54 PM (mbrp1)

5 It't not cute anymore.

I don't think these people are ready for the not cute Ace.

Posted by: rdbrewer at July 29, 2004 02:05 PM (2LE6C)

6 Having perused the various websites and their "bio" sections...it was never cute...

Posted by: Christopher Cross at July 29, 2004 04:16 PM (49Q3V)

7 Can you work in "Jingleheimer Schmidt"? Or at last the "Jingleheimer" part. Thanks.

Posted by: Donnah at July 29, 2004 04:35 PM (1q3hZ)

8 As should be obvious now, the Sandy Burger timing was obvious to HIS advantage: one - two days of coverage then the 9-11 report bumps it off the front page and the Dem. convention boots it off almost all papers completely!

Posted by: JFH at July 29, 2004 04:37 PM (z4es9)

9 "Al Qaeda-sympathizing liberals" - well since you've set such a respectful tone and all:

To: Brown-shirted, half-witted, jackass right-wing thugs (AKA: Ace of Spades HQ)

From: Freedom and truth loving liberals

Re: Timing

Please inform us all of when America is permitted to attack or capture Al Qaeda operatives. I ask specifically for you to provide us with a calendar of specified days upon which such anti-terrorist actions are permitted to be conducted.

Ace: Please capture, attack, or kill Al Queda Operatives at every possible opportunity.

Please DO NOT make arrangments with foreign governments to produce these prisoners, or corpses as the case may, be at politically opportune and pre-arranged times.



P.S. Oh, and please learn to use the God-given brain in your head. That would be swell.

Posted by: at July 29, 2004 05:52 PM (u5W1o)

10 The guy was captured last Sunday. If you're going to do the trick you're implying the administration did, don't you think it would be best to announce the capture of, you know, someone many people know about? Ahmed Khalfan Ghailani isn't exactly a household name such as Bin Laden or Zarqawi. And honestly, by looking at the coverage [from what I see so far], the media isn't making too big of a fuss about it [again, because most people have no friggin clue who he is].

You know, what Marshall stated in the link you provided isn't any more valid then a bet, which is what I'm guessing he did. Take a guy who always questions timing, such as Marshall, and then pick out what would constitute as a "politically opportune time", such as the DNC convention. Set a short time-span, making sure it overlaps the convention [in this case, 10 days], and voila! If you're right, you get to brag that you had inside information and that Bush is a conspiratorial madman; if you're wrong, you just brush it aside thinking everyone forgot your prediction [which Marshall has done a few times]

You know, the whole nature of a conspiracy is that so few little people have to know about it, or else there's a high probability that it'll cease being a conspiracy. Doesn't it strike you odd that people are seemingly "uncovering" Bush conspiracy theories by the drove? Bush in cahoots with the Saudis, Bush's war for oil, Bush bringing out terror suspects at opportune times, etc. You don't think Bush would put a cap on his many "conspiracies", seeing how so many of them are being "discovered"?

Joshua Micah Guttenberg Marshall Crystal Ball:

"Just to pass on some added information, about which we'll be saying more. There is chatter in Pakistani intelligence circles that the US has let the Pakistanis know that the optimal time for bagging 'high value' al Qaida suspects in the untamed Afghan-Pakistani border lands is last ten days of August, 2004."

Posted by: at July 29, 2004 08:06 PM (dtKYD)

11 Belgravia Dispatch posted the link to The New Republic article that Joshua Micah Johannsen Proctor n' Gamble Marshall mentioned:

"The last ten days of July deadline has been given repeatedly by visitors to Islamabad and during [ul-Haq's] meetings in Washington." Says McCormack: "I'm aware of no such comment." But according to this ISI official, a White House aide told ul-Haq last spring that "it would be best if the arrest or killing of [any] HVT were announced on twenty-six, twenty-seven, or twenty-eight July"--[the first three days of the Democratic National Convention in Boston.]

Today was the 29th. Hey Pakis, what gives?!

Posted by: Cpl. Menno at July 29, 2004 08:12 PM (dtKYD)

Unnamed Liberal (Most Likely of a Potato-Like Shape),

Yes yes, you object to the timing. Liberals like you and Joshua Micah Willendorf Kravitz Marshall are surprised to realize that a "summer offensive" is "timed" to take place during the summer.

Posted by: ace at July 29, 2004 08:31 PM (iog7U)

13 The primary attribute of a conspiracy freak is an absolute inability to take responsibility for their own role the way things have turned out. Thus, all the "conspiracies" usually revolve around the "will of the people" being thwarted.

Kinda fits right in with the liberal-socialist-fascist way of thought, doesn't it?

Posted by: Mr. Bowen at July 29, 2004 08:54 PM (rZWXl)

14 And the primary attribute of a conspiracy of the sort advocated by Marshall and the Anonymous Liberal, presuming they're two different people, is this: If it was a real conspiracy, there's no way in hell they'd be in a position to find out about it. No matter how pompous and self-important they are.

And no amount of unfulfilled "More on this at some unspecified later date" danglers can change that.

Posted by: Patton at July 29, 2004 09:11 PM (cLlFA)

15 I heard someone mention the other day that Lennin once said that all political points can be refuted by simply questioning motive (i.e., avoiding the point).

Posted by: rdbrewer at July 30, 2004 03:06 AM (2LE6C)

Please inform us all of when America is permitted to attack or capture Al Qaeda operatives.

I think the proper answer, as far as they are concerned, is "after Kerry has been sworn in".

Please DO NOT make arrangments with foreign governments to produce these prisoners, or corpses as the case may, be at politically opportune and pre-arranged times.

and proof of this is a reference unidentified "chatter" in Pakistan on Marshall's blog?

Posted by: h0mi at July 30, 2004 04:40 AM (LuPL2)

17 IIRC, the capture of Saddam Hussein was supposed to have had suspicious timing. The Nick Berg decapitation had suspicious timing (to deflect attention from Abu Ghraib.)

Apparently nothing ever happens at any time but that the Bush family crime syndicate makes it so.

Posted by: Jamie R at July 30, 2004 04:49 AM (0qcOz)

18 Maybe all the moonbats need to talk to the Islamic jihadists as well. There were 3 specific terror threats in Europe this week. Man the timing of that is pretty suspicious. Were they trying to make the Dems look bad? I think they have an ulterior motive other than just blowing people up...

"“From here in Italy, and from Britain and Bulgaria, and all European countries, we call on all our people to mobilize and prepare to engage in the battle, a new type and style of battle. Prepare to shed blood, let us make it an endless bloody war,” Friday’s statement said.

The statement said European governments were at risk “so long as you are in the shadow of the vile government of (President) Bush.”

All this week’s statements referred to an April 15 audiotape in which al-Qaida chief Osama bin Laden said he was calling a truce for three months and urged European states to leave Iraq, Afghanistan and other Muslim countries within that period or risk a terror campaign. The statements noted the truce period has expired."

Posted by: Chrees at July 30, 2004 07:42 AM (9G2aW)

19 Don't you guys understand? There is no War on Terror. The "terrorists" are actually Balckwater personnel hired by Halliburton by orders of the Commander-in-Chimp who by the way is a cunning imbecile in order to sow fear in the American people thus allowing Smirky and his Bible-wavin' buddy John Ashcroft to pass the Patriot Act, gutting the Consitution so that brave selfless dissidents like Michael Moore get their dissent crushed and are due to be sent to the Gitmo Gulag so that the worlds' oil can be stolen without anyone knowing.

Man, am I good or what?

Posted by: Mike at July 30, 2004 08:01 AM (O9Cc8)

20 Since I had an obvious head wound after last night's heavy drinking, I put NPR on for the ride to work this AM.

Wouldn't you know, they were all conspiratorially-wound over the "... extremely suspicious timing of the release of information about the al Qaeda capture in Pakistan..." on, of all days, the day John (F'ing) Kerry accepts his party's nomination for President. Was this a carefully calculated attempt by the Bush administration to, you know, discredit Kerry?

Isn't it absolutely a shame that we have such bad-good news on such a good-bad day??

Can we shoot them now, please?

Posted by: recon at July 30, 2004 08:14 AM (G4GKJ)

21 Well just as I suspected, a nasty tone and name calling works as well for me as it does for you all. I'm done with that experiment.

Please consider the following facts:

1. Over 2 months ago, Josh Marshall posts about the Pakistani "chatter" regarding Bush Administration pressure to deliver HVT's during the last 10 days of July.

2. Almost 1 month ago (07/09/04) The New Republic breaks a story citing Pakistani intelligence sources claiming that they had been told by White House aides that

"...it would be best if the arrest or killing of [any] HVT were announced on twenty-six, twenty-seven, or twenty-eight July"

...the first three days of the Democratic National Convention in Boston.

3. On July 25, Pakistanis capture Ghailani but hold off on an announcement till 4 days later, only hours before Kerry's speech accepting the democratic nomination -at what would have been around midnight their time. Prior to that such announcements had been almost instantaneous.

Tinfoil hat conspiracies usually occur in hindsight. After the fact. This is very specific stuff that was discussed months and weeks prior to the event.

Put yourself in our shoes if your imagination will allow that. Wouldn't you be suspicious? Truly, wouldn't you? I will concede that there is a possibilty that this was not stage managed for political effect - can any of you admit that there is a possibility that it was?

Catching bad guys is a good thing no matter who's watch it happens under. Manipulating the timing of such captures for political gain (if that is indeed what happened) is despicable no matter who's watch it happens under. Can we all agree to that? I hope so.

Let's all head over to JibJab.com, watch "This Land" and have a good laugh together.

The Anonymous Liberal

P.S. It's true; at one time, years back I did have a somewhat potato-like physique, but an hour a day with the TotalGym™ and NordicTrak™ have changed all that :-)

Posted by: TAL at July 30, 2004 08:14 AM (u5W1o)

22 TAL,

Sad but amusing try. What it boils down to is that in the hands of you and your fellow travellers, Occam's Razor wouldn't even cut butter.

P.S. I think I hear the mothership calling you home.

Posted by: Eric A. at July 30, 2004 08:36 AM (0PSV4)

23 TAL:

Can you see how sad this looks? I mean, there's some "friend of a friend" chatter, a slight delay in news of a captive bubbling up, and WHAMMO! Conspiracy! I mean, is there any piece of news you'd be happy about before parsing it to see if it might possibly help the Bush campaign, therefore making it bad?

Has the White House hyped this piece of info, as one might expect them to do if they created it? Has there been any sign from on high that they want this to be something other than the page 25 story it currently is?

Kerry might well win, the electorate is divided right down the middle. But I'd feel better if I got the slightest sense that his partisans gave a shit about terrorism for ANY OTHER REASON than how it might be used as a cudgel for the election. Ace is mad, I'm just getting more and more depressed.

Posted by: SparcVark at July 30, 2004 08:38 AM (X7hb0)

24 [1.] "Over 2 months ago, Josh Marshall posts about the Pakistani "chatter" regarding Bush Administration pressure to deliver HVT's during the last 10 days of July."

It's not so amazing when you really think about it. People do this kind of thing in the sports world all the time. Marshall picked a political opportune time, the DNC convention, and made a gamble that something will occur during this span, and in this case won. He's been wrong several times before in his "predictions", and when he has he just glosses it over and forgets about it. Didn't he also question the "timing" of the Berger affair, thinking it was the Bush Administration that outed him, when it was most likely a Dem who outed the story?

[2.] "...the first three days of the Democratic National Convention in Boston."

And yesterday was the fourth day of the convention. Apparently either the Pakis don't know how to read a calendar [which you could convince me on], or the bold TNR prediction didn't pan out.

[3.]"...Prior to that such announcements had been almost instantaneous."

Not necessarily. The US has had a problem a few times with the Pakis because they like to get information out of the guy first before letting us know they caught him. The ISI also has their motives, their ranks having quite a number of al-Qaeda sympathizers, who ascertain what the captive knows, and pass it along to al-Qaeda so they can change hideouts, plans, etc. Now I'm not saying this is what occurred in this case because, unlike Joshua Micah Miller Marshall, I'm not privy to the day-to-day Pakistani "chatter". But this isn't unheard of in that region.

[4.] "Put yourself in our shoes if your imagination will allow that. Wouldn't you be suspicious? Truly, wouldn't you? I will concede that there is a possibilty that this was not stage managed for political effect - can any of you admit that there is a possibility that it was?"

If this were a few years ago, I would be. But I've experienced and seen so many coincidences during the past 3 years that conspiracy theories just don't hold any water for me. Is it "possible" that this was a staged event? Yeah, sure its possible. But you [or in this case, Joshau Micah Goldstein Marshall] are going to have to show me a hell of a lot more than just some anonymous sources. Even the tracks are poorly covered, if this were indeed a planned event. All the reports I've seen mention his capture occurred on Sunday, so why mention that in the announcement yesterday? The "conspirators" would basically be leaving a trail behind [by pointing out why the announcement was made yesterday instead of Sunday]; hardly an effective conspiracy.

Is the Bush Administration pressuring Pakistan to capture HVT from now to the election? Absolutely, he'd be an idiot not to be doing so; that's common sense. But this "timing" thing in reference to "sabotaging" John Kerry's events is getting old now. Joshua Micah Hezekial Trafalgar Marshall jumping up and down on this stuff is just nonsense, at least in my opinion. He's quickly ending up like the 'Boy who cried Wolf'.

Posted by: Cpl. Menno at July 30, 2004 09:45 AM (v/rzO)

25 Occam's razor always seems to be a convienent tool for whichever side is on the defense.

The simplest explanation is not always the correct one. Nor does Occam's razor require it to be. Consider Enron, Martha Stewart, Nixon's CREEP and Watergate. The simplest explanation is that Martha's stock sales were just coincidence, right?

Perception of reality can also provide a very different blade depending on who wields it. For some Occam's razor proves the existence of a god, for others, the opposite.

I wonder, Eric, if you give creedence to the many conspiracies posited by the right with regard to Bill and Hillary, Vince Foster, the Arkansas Mafia, the Rose Law firm - or if you apply Occam's razor with equal gusto when the shoe is on the other foot?

I do not state with any certainty that the timing of yesterday's announcements where indeed the result of right wing political machinations - but my inclinations as to the character of Cheney/Rumsfeld/Wolfowitz and Rove in combination with the facts 1-3 of my previous post give me cause for suspicion.

Thx for listening,

P.S. I won't accuse you of being a jackass if you don't accuse me of being an alien, OK?

Posted by: TAL at July 30, 2004 10:13 AM (u5W1o)

26 TAL - Pathetic, man. Don't you feel dirty in the morning after posting so much inane crap? Seriously. Look yourself in the mirror and try to keep a straight face as you pump up the "timing" of the capture of a terrorist that hardly any of your right-wing bogeymen seem to give a rat's ass about. We're all too busy laughing at John Kerry giving CPR to a hamster.

You know, now that I think of it, this is obviously a LEFT WING PLOT to distract from their un-bouncing stealth candidate!

Posted by: Sortelli at July 31, 2004 08:34 PM (Bjdtq)

Posted by: mac dvd ripper, dvd copy at July 28, 2010 11:22 PM (V/X8O)

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