October 30, 2005

Onward, Muslim Soldiers!
— Ace

SULAWESI, Indonesia -- Muslim warriors scored yet another heroic military victory, this time against a well-trained trio of special-ops teenaged girls from a Christian school.

"Allah be praised for delivering us this magnificent triumph," an unknown brave warrior in a face-obscuring mask announced. "Those 105-pound teenaged girls fought like tigers, using all the weapons and trickery they learned at a Special Forces clinic at the 4-H Club. They also employed advanced martial arts techiques from the legendary fighting form known as 'Jazzercize.'"

The glorious Islamic heroes stated that they identified the co-ed covert operatives by their open display of the famous credo of SOCOM (the special operations command), "N'SYNC = N'STINK."

Having captured the dangerous commandos, the Muslim warriors afforded them with the full panoply of rights granted to them by the Geneva Protocols, including the invioble rights of POW's to have their heads sawed from their still-living bodies, a right which applies only upon capture by Muslims. WARNING: Extremely Graphic Pictures of the International Red Cross-approved treatment of Western prisoners.

The gay-panic murder-cultists of the Muslim world rejoiced that the three operatives had been captured while carrying the weapon most feared in the Muslim world-- vaginas.

Courageous Muslim proudly displayed "high-tech infidel weaponry" recovered from the special-ops babysitters' club, including a cellphone with its ringer set to play Britney Spears' Hit Me Baby One More Time, a "special CIA pen" with purple ink that smelled strongly of artifical grapes, and an eraser shaped like a crazy-haired troll, said by the Muslim warriors to be some sort of "psy-ops" device.

Although the girls were not identified as Jewish per se, at least one was captured with a Barbra Streisand CD in her possession. "Close enough," one glorious Muslim warrior said. "People Who Need People is a notorious propaganda hymn of the Jew Mossad."

Western journalists reacted with shock to the incident. "How dare those infidels tresspass in Muslim lands," British journalist John Pilger seethed. "This is yet another sign of the American neo-con cabal's utter disdain for the principle of freedom of religion."

Robert Fisk, on the other hand, noted that the Muslims had been careful enough to not inflict any "so-called 'collateral damage'" while taking out what he called "legitimate military targets." "Had this attack been conducted by George Bush," he wrote, "we might have expected upwards of 200 dead innocent Muslim sporting-gun enthusiasts, who had peacefully gathered in a mosque to engage in the cherished Islamic holy ritual of indiscriminate sniper fire."

Note: Looks like Tanker and I stumbled on this at the same time. We're just "flooding the zone," as Howell Raines said of his wall-to-wall coverage of women being banned from the Augusta National golf course. A slightly more important story, I admit, but I think this one has some amount of significance as well.

Posted by: Ace at 07:17 AM | Comments (20)
Post contains 475 words, total size 3 kb.

1 And to think that dummy puntz charle wants to come here and lecture us on the merits of the muselum religion what a idiot

Posted by: spurwing plover at October 30, 2005 09:05 AM (jAP6C)

2 Can we please nuke Mecca now?

Posted by: zetetic at October 30, 2005 09:40 AM (fLo6O)

3 I believe the girls were identified as Christian, thus making your whole rant moot. Nothing to see here, move along. Of course, no one will tell you that the Crusades were a response to Islamic Imperialism...which is an O.K. kind of Imperialism, not like Amerikan Fascist Pig Imperialism. So, like I said, nothing to see here except some descendents of the Crusades getting their comeuppance.

Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at October 30, 2005 10:00 AM (wBmK0)

4 Excellent point, Joan!

Posted by: Muslihoon at October 30, 2005 10:52 AM (Q8UK2)

5 Pilger's Australian. Fisk is a Brit, granted. They naturally now downplay the fact that a big part of Indonesian Muslim hatred towards the West is the liberation of East Timor, of which both Fisk and Pilger claimed to in favour, at least until the Howard government, supported by the US and UK, did something about it.

Posted by: David Gillies at October 30, 2005 12:25 PM (l+SS4)

6 Liberals have to ignore this. Of course, being that the teenage girls were Christian means they had it coming. Muslims killing Christians are prefectly okay - like the Bosnian muslims killing Serbian Christians and getting away with it. Milosevic reacts by expelling the muslim murderers, and suddenly he's the bad guy.

Looks like we're all on the same page.

Posted by: William Thrash at October 30, 2005 02:43 PM (yheG2)

7 The utter disregard of the left to such crimes makes them complicit in them. Their disregard and failure to speak out also betrays their hypocrisy. What is even worse is that the greater public remains unaware of such acts, thereby holding in their minds erroneous images or perceptions of the world of Islam.

Whereas it is true that not every Muslim is a blood-thirsty terrorist, an uncomfortable number of Muslims either support terrorists (and their acts) or see nothing so evil in terrorists (and their acts) to warrant consistent and active denunciation. Additionally, to denounce an act is easy (particularly for double-speaking institutions, of which too many exist): what actually matters and what is less easy is to do something to discourage such acts and to make a clear case to believers (not to the outside world) how this violence ought to have no place in Islam. Lecturing to non-Muslims how Islam is peaceful is utterly useless when many Muslims do believe Islam condones violence.

Posted by: Muslihoon at October 30, 2005 03:29 PM (Q8UK2)

8 Typical liberal reaction to such a, a, (indescribable -- I can't think of the appropiate words) act:
What did we do to make them hate us so much.

A sane reaction: Kill all these motherfucking cowards before they kill more innocents, namely us.

(No, I don't mean we should kill all Muslims. I mean we should destroy all persons who even think about commiting these acts. That's why I believe that Iran, with their state-sponsore-death-to-America-chants, have declared, with no ambiguity, that they want us all dead (in the worst way) and that is enough justification for military action.

Don't fuck with Americans. That's the message I want my president to send to the rest of the World.

Posted by: Bart at October 30, 2005 05:19 PM (cMV+4)

9 I haven't seen this reported on CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC or Fox News. So, of course, Islam is still a religion of peace. When CNN reports on these alleged atrocities, then we will know that we have problem with worldwide islamic militantism. Until then, there is no problem, just look the other way. And it might not hurt to pray facing Mecca in the future; preferably 6 times a day.

Posted by: kbiel at October 30, 2005 06:11 PM (/Do45)

10 By golly, I will crack this code someday!
And to think that dummy puntz charle wants to come here and lecture us on the merits of the muselum religion what a idiot

Posted by: Bart at October 30, 2005 06:18 PM (cMV+4)

11 Disgusting, but after that atrocity at Beslan last year, hardly surprising. Get used to the idea: you are dealing with a society that LIKES to commit atrocities against CHILDREN. What is even more disgusting is the fact that so many on the left make excuses for them.

Posted by: BattleofthePyramids at October 30, 2005 06:19 PM (J77d7)

12 No, Bart! That way lies madness!!! YOU'LL SUMMON CTHULU OR SOMETHING.

Posted by: Sortelli at October 30, 2005 06:20 PM (tHvzT)

13 You're right, Sortelli. I've already killed thousands of brain cells pondering the Spurling's droppings.

My luck the code will open a portal to Madeline Albright's ass-crack.

Posted by: Bart at October 30, 2005 07:20 PM (F38B7)

14 Sortelli: Hey, now -- wait a minute!!

Posted by: cthulhu at October 30, 2005 07:35 PM (pEuF6)

15 Oh, hey, Cthulhu! How's it hanging?

Posted by: Sortelli at October 30, 2005 08:54 PM (tHvzT)

16 The knee-jerk response I've gotten from co-workers when the crisis of islam is brought up is usually..."they saved our civilization during the dark ages".

Similar to the complaints that Zarqawi and Bin Laden give in that they reference events that occurred hundreds of years ago or more.

End the Jihaad.....now.

Posted by: vladimir at October 31, 2005 03:22 AM (WRsve)

17 The knee-jerk response I've gotten from co-workers when the crisis of islam is brought up is usually..."they saved our civilization during the dark ages".

Even if that were true, they need to actually come out of the dark ages at some point. It's like a really dangerous version of the high school cheerleader who reached her prime at the senior year homecoming, not realizing that she had 50 more years or so to go.

Posted by: Sue Dohnim at October 31, 2005 03:40 AM (rE+jU)

18 By golly, I will crack this code someday!

And to think that dummy puntz charle wants to come here and lecture us on the merits of the muselum religion what a idiot

According to my decoder ring it translates thusly:

"And to think that dummy putz Prince Charles wants to come to America and lecture us on the merits of the Muslim religion -- what an idiot!"

If you hadn't heard Charles recently assured a group of Muslims in the UK that during his imminent visit to the US he was going to discuss this country's insensitivity to Muslim feelings (or something like that).

Posted by: Craiggers at October 31, 2005 01:48 PM (vhcfb)

19 My decoder ring rendered a different result.

"Send me your credit card info and nude pics of your wife. Ace rules!"

Posted by: Bart at October 31, 2005 01:53 PM (pKHyV)

20 wew nice story hmmm Judi Bola Online and i think about this one i like too Taruhan Bola Online

Posted by: huker at July 11, 2011 06:13 AM (DaEUg)

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