July 30, 2006

Old School AoSHQ - Part II [BrewFan]
— Ace

Haiku Flame War!

ace's sock puppet
has to do double duty
pass the lotion, please

Posted by: Ace at 02:10 PM | Comments (91)
Post contains 27 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Determination

Lots of new morons
At Ace of Spades Headquarters
Too dumb to Haiku?

Posted by: BrewFan at July 30, 2006 02:15 PM (hTcQ6)

2 BrewFan's lovely wife
has to do double duty
washing Ace's socks

Posted by: sandy burger at July 30, 2006 02:20 PM (zHO88)

3 When BrewFan's thirsty
He calls for sandy burger
"Get my juice box, bitch"

Posted by: at July 30, 2006 02:21 PM (hTcQ6)

4 greenwald in summer
the sound of one hand clapping
a magic boyfriend

Posted by: John at July 30, 2006 02:24 PM (NcsIb)

5 Essence

shawn, man or woman?
Only Bart can know for sure
he likes shawn. A lot.

Posted by: BrewFan at July 30, 2006 02:25 PM (hTcQ6)

6 Dragonfly Summer
A finger held to the sky
Darning needle death

Posted by: Retired Geezer at July 30, 2006 02:33 PM (A6u5v)

7 The blogwar cometh
Infantile driblings like grade
school without the paste

Posted by: RSM at July 30, 2006 02:33 PM (Ico6n)

8 shawn is all woman
complete with a big caboose
Bart likes shawn. A lot.

Posted by: Bart at July 30, 2006 02:34 PM (xfSPy)

9 Can't resist another:

ace of spades H-Q
blood pressure like skyrockets
what was that I-P

Posted by: John at July 30, 2006 02:36 PM (NcsIb)

10 Ace shot his blog wad
all over Greenwald and !Paul
which explains teh gay.

-

Ace finds blog yokels,
The Innocent Bystanders,
twelve teeth among them.

-

Posted by: BumperStickerist at July 30, 2006 02:36 PM (PcDvW)

11 BumperStickerist
knows about the lack of teeth
but still loves his mom

Posted by: BrewFan at July 30, 2006 02:41 PM (hTcQ6)

12

umbrella in drink


icy, not unlike Ace


when morons vex him


Posted by: goddessoftheclassroom at July 30, 2006 02:45 PM (U3qS0)

13 Evil lord Xenon
travels through space and posts on
a goofy ass blog



rowr!

Posted by: Dave in Texas at July 30, 2006 02:50 PM (uRBBE)

14 Memo to BrewFan:
The highroad's up here with me,
and ~ looks down ~ your mom.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at July 30, 2006 02:54 PM (PcDvW)

15 A happy event
Was when Spurwing discovered
The INTERNET tubes

Posted by: Retired Geezer at July 30, 2006 03:02 PM (A6u5v)

16 This whole Glenn thingie
Has bored the shit out of me...
Feisty, show us tits.

(Yours, preferably).

Posted by: cheshirecat at July 30, 2006 03:06 PM (1Lh9X)

17 Fantasy

BumperStickerist
Thinks there is a high road here
In his dreams, maybe

Reality

BumperStickerist
has a haiku friendly name
ready, aim, flame on!

Posted by: BrewFan at July 30, 2006 03:07 PM (hTcQ6)

18 BrewFan: An All Star
BumperStickerist: is just
A minor leaguer

Posted by: BrewFan at July 30, 2006 03:11 PM (hTcQ6)

19 We could just flame ace.
Right now he's watching 'Beaches';
having a good cry.

.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at July 30, 2006 03:17 PM (PcDvW)

20

Ace gave his blog to


Irresponsible morons


What did he expect?


Posted by: Michael at July 30, 2006 03:23 PM (xTnLp)

21 Oiled and ready
for hot sock action
Greenwalds cabin boy

Posted by: The Drizzle at July 30, 2006 03:24 PM (ggiWs)

22 In truth, the only
Innocent Bystanders here
are us, the readers

Posted by: sandy burger at July 30, 2006 03:28 PM (zHO88)

23 Bart like shawn, a lot
won't he be sad when he learns
shawn's my sock puppet

Posted by: sandy burger at July 30, 2006 03:41 PM (zHO88)

24 Oops, typo. That should have been "Bart likes shawn". It was not intended to be a simile, appropriate as that might have been.

Posted by: sandy burger at July 30, 2006 03:50 PM (zHO88)

25 Everyone knows
who this Spurwing Plover is
but they don't tell Ace

Posted by: PattyAnn at July 30, 2006 03:51 PM (qCDkl)

26 Oh yeah, much better, sandy.

Slu does that a lot, too -- he corrects his minor typos with additional comments. He assumes we are too stupid to figure it out on our own.

Posted by: Bart at July 30, 2006 03:52 PM (nKWrx)

27 Sockpuppet applauds
New blog star; we hear the sound
Of one hand clapping.

Posted by: Trimegistus at July 30, 2006 03:53 PM (zfSPJ)

28 Ace of Spades lifestyle
Has let us all down big-time!
Where's my tranny?

Posted by: at July 30, 2006 03:55 PM (zfSPJ)

29 Val-U-Rite vodka
and a Maxim magazine;
AOS heaven?

Posted by: BrewFan at July 30, 2006 03:56 PM (hTcQ6)

30 PattyAnn is back
She is like a dainty moth
drawn into my flames

Posted by: BrewFan at July 30, 2006 03:59 PM (hTcQ6)

31 Whatever happened to Otho Laurence?

Posted by: Bart at July 30, 2006 04:04 PM (nKWrx)

32

BrewFan thinks he's hot


but MadFish Willie he's not


Let's call him Luke Warm


Posted by: PattyAnn at July 30, 2006 04:30 PM (qCDkl)

33 Mongo like ass
Has adoration for Tush
Wonder who is next?

Posted by: wiserbud at July 30, 2006 04:37 PM (AQGeh)

34 Bart pines for old days
Thinking others feel the same
Bart badly needs life.

Posted by: wiserbud at July 30, 2006 04:41 PM (AQGeh)

35

PattyAnn's no moth


She's an Estelle Haversham


She'll break BrewFan's heart


Posted by: Brett Bullington at July 30, 2006 04:41 PM (/QYGF)

36 the jews nailed mad max
the mighty road warrior
on a cross of gold

Posted by: David Ross at July 30, 2006 04:42 PM (UzZbo)

37 wiserbud is fool
can't haiku or get names right
should not drink on Sunday

Posted by: wiserbud at July 30, 2006 04:43 PM (AQGeh)

38

Ace should quit quitting


Can't wait for him to get back


so we can stop this


Posted by: PattyAnn at July 30, 2006 04:44 PM (qCDkl)

39

Jack's civility:


Ace will dip his balls in it


Then he'll quit for good


Posted by: Brett Bullington at July 30, 2006 04:46 PM (/QYGF)

40

Wiserbud's longing


To be Mongo's next toy


Mongo not interested


Posted by: Brett Bullington at July 30, 2006 04:50 PM (/QYGF)

41 a sandy burger
sounds painful to say the least
explains pissy posts

Posted by: wiserbud at July 30, 2006 04:52 PM (56ssE)

42 Autumn stage lighting

A man of substance,
shines lights on nekkid wimmin
that's a damn good job

Posted by: Dave in Texas at July 30, 2006 04:53 PM (uRBBE)

43 brett try to make joke
to cover his own gayness
not fool anyone


Posted by: wiserbud at July 30, 2006 04:57 PM (56ssE)

44 Man, I wish I had a good excuse like Wiserbud's.

Posted by: Brett Bullington at July 30, 2006 04:57 PM (/QYGF)

45 Our posts bumped into each other, bitch.  I'll think of something.  Yeah, you just wait.  I can learn to do this crap.  Really.

Posted by: Brett Bullington at July 30, 2006 05:00 PM (/QYGF)

46 quietly waiting
as brett struggles to create
could be a long night

Posted by: wiserbud at July 30, 2006 05:03 PM (56ssE)

47 In sock puppet stories
At Greenwalds expense
Ace dips his balls

Posted by: The Drizzle at July 30, 2006 05:03 PM (ggiWs)

48 Jump the fuck back there
you Innocent Bystander
Get Ace out of jail.

Posted by: John at July 30, 2006 05:07 PM (30uPm)

49 where's madfish willie?
was quite verbose in flame war
guess search engine failed

Posted by: wiserbud at July 30, 2006 05:07 PM (56ssE)

50 Michael bumps the flame war
just as the flames grew white hot,
or red ... or yellow.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at July 30, 2006 05:09 PM (PcDvW)

51 For Retired Geezer:

Dave in Texas poem
Inspires yet a new title:
Shakespeare in the Dark

(or Berkey, if you wish)

Posted by: Wishn' to be a Spurwing Plover at July 30, 2006 05:10 PM (ARXgj)

52 Taste like Marshmallow
Jew Mazah Balls in Beirut
Dave dips his balls in.

Posted by: John at July 30, 2006 05:13 PM (30uPm)

53 JeffG insults you
Using his stupid colon:
JeffG: Mini Me

Posted by: John at July 30, 2006 05:15 PM (30uPm)

54 still waiting on brett
tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick
anytime now, dude

Posted by: wiserbud at July 30, 2006 05:15 PM (56ssE)

55 This is now an epidemic. I just read this news release on the Greenie thing (toungue in cheek)

“REPORTS OF TERRORIST PUPPETS”
Associated Depressed report - Brazille, July 30, 2006 - By Sockitoome Green

This reporter is still in shock at the recent revealations that the once famous NYT best seller list author, fondly known as GG, awoke this morning to find several things missing from his modest home. I suspect it may be the work of terrorists.

GG reported to the local Commisar’s office that at least five of his close friends had been abducted, along with his cherished sock drawer, and that he “May have been analy probed”, but isn’t too sure, pending interviews with his significant other.

GG is a modest, former supporter of the constitution and all of it’s free speech amendments and is, reportedly, seeking a voice for all socks to be equally recognized.

An informative analysis would conclude that: one half of some socks end up missing after a few months in the dryer: so a logical argument could be made: The remaining half of the pair cannot be descriminated against and deserve the right of fair speech, proper folding, and fabric softener. (Although the mustache should be laundered seperately)

When asked to name those who were abducted, GG only would say that they were very close to him, and the investigation continues. Searches conducted in the immediate area of the abduction turned up only identical twins of the missing socks.

GG has also provided clues to investigators that may shift the focus to another occupant who may have had access to his residence.

In any event, all the world should be on notice that these puppet terrorists are out there.

Posted by: Rooster at July 30, 2006 05:17 PM (ls0MN)

56 Hey Rooster! haiku
Is 5-7-5 jackass
Post the graf elsewhere.

Posted by: John at July 30, 2006 05:21 PM (30uPm)

57

Pity poor Rooster


he had a funny report


posted on wrong thread


Posted by: PattyAnn at July 30, 2006 05:22 PM (qCDkl)

58

Says the Wiserbud,


"Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick."


JeffG sockpuppet


Posted by: Brett Bullington at July 30, 2006 05:24 PM (/QYGF)

59 helluva haiku
just a bit longer than most
rooster not too swift

Posted by: wiserbud at July 30, 2006 05:25 PM (56ssE)

60

Brett knows WiserBud


cannot make up good haiku


not with "tic, tic,tic"


Posted by: PattyAnn at July 30, 2006 05:26 PM (qCDkl)

61

Haiku10


Posted by: Brett Bullington at July 30, 2006 05:26 PM (/QYGF)

62

Now we all know Brett


cannot function with pressure


tics prematurely


Posted by: PattyAnn at July 30, 2006 05:28 PM (qCDkl)

63 best that brett can do
is a lame "JeffG" attack
pitiful and sad


Posted by: wiserbud at July 30, 2006 05:29 PM (56ssE)

64

I wish I was the


Wickedpinto, then no one


would expect much


Posted by: Brett Bullington at July 30, 2006 05:33 PM (/QYGF)

65 patty defends brett
can it get more pathetic?
must be slow at baths

Posted by: wiserbud at July 30, 2006 05:34 PM (56ssE)

66

Prematurely? No,


But that pressure you mention


can present problems


Posted by: Brett Bullington at July 30, 2006 05:36 PM (/QYGF)

67

She defends me, like Hell.


Sorry.


Posted by: Brett Bullington at July 30, 2006 05:37 PM (/QYGF)

68 It's like the old joke about how men approach poetry, with the last line that reads "This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit."

Posted by: Brett Bullington at July 30, 2006 05:38 PM (/QYGF)

69 what brett means to say:
performance anxiety
is common for him

Posted by: wiserbud at July 30, 2006 05:39 PM (56ssE)

70

Performance with


Anxiety or without


outlasts Wiserbud


Posted by: Brett Bullington at July 30, 2006 05:41 PM (/QYGF)

71

Brett Bullington gripes


about the best I can do


Last time I help Brett


Posted by: PattyAnn at July 30, 2006 05:42 PM (qCDkl)

72 nine months of blogging
a new york times bestseller
strangers fill my house

Posted by: John at July 30, 2006 05:48 PM (NcsIb)

73

Sorry PattyAnn,


he assaults my ability


I'll get our revenge


Posted by: Brett Bullington at July 30, 2006 05:52 PM (/QYGF)

74

Wait for Bretts revenge


sorry that I won't be here


But I go to bed


Posted by: PattyAnn at July 30, 2006 05:55 PM (qCDkl)

75 brett says he can last
and we are impressed by this.
shame is he's alone

Posted by: wiserbud at July 30, 2006 05:56 PM (56ssE)

76 Fun was my old job

Shine lights on nekkid wimmin

Now I rub horses

Posted by: Retired Geezer at July 30, 2006 06:01 PM (A6u5v)

77 Gee, PattiAnn, seems your email is a sock too

Posted by: Rooster at July 30, 2006 06:06 PM (ls0MN)

78 one last beer and smoke
getting late here in the east
sadly, weekend's done

Posted by: wiserbud at July 30, 2006 06:06 PM (56ssE)

79 Sorry Rooster, was being Brett's sock puppet but he fired me and I forgot to change it back.

Posted by: PattyAnn at July 30, 2006 06:10 PM (qCDkl)

80 PattyAnn--you're not really going to leave me here with that pervert Wiserbud, are you?  I was just on the other thread reciting some stuff Jefferson said...

Posted by: Brett Bullington at July 30, 2006 06:17 PM (/QYGF)

81 brett thinks 'bud's a perv
yet begs Pat for protection
brett is a girl's name?

Posted by: wiserbud at July 30, 2006 06:31 PM (56ssE)

82

Protection? No.


an audience to proclaim


my vast superiority


Posted by: Brett Bullington at July 30, 2006 06:36 PM (/QYGF)

83 now that's a real laugh

you deny the need for help

yet you completely ignore the well-known structure of a haiku in order to announce your "vast superiority" to a an audience of about two?

Posted by: wiserbud at July 30, 2006 06:50 PM (56ssE)

84 'sbeen fun, brett.  Catch up with you again.  Gotta go.  Tomorrow morning's gonna come earlier than usual.

Posted by: wiserbud at July 30, 2006 06:52 PM (56ssE)

85 "Vast superiority" works if you say it really fast.  See you, man.

Posted by: Brett Bullington at July 30, 2006 06:59 PM (/QYGF)

86 Clap it out Brett.

Posted by: mike s. at July 30, 2006 08:32 PM (TE1fr)

87 This is all so sad

spurwing has been scared away

fly little bird fly


Posted by: mesablue at July 30, 2006 09:02 PM (DzeyU)

88

The weekend has gone.


All that remains is to choose


Which lame is most lame.


Posted by: Tom M at July 31, 2006 03:08 AM (d6bNm)

89 I'm beginning to doubt the shire reeve who wrote in his report anything other than "suspect was belligerent." Instead, the depitty wrote things like...Mel Gibson then said I have a fat gut, even though I've been using the StairMaster for a week now. I even lost five pounds. I haven't had a bearclaw for three days. Then he flipped a hard booger through the scree that hit my right ear, causing a laceration three inches long. At 3:46am, Mel Gibson farted, and it sounded like "BbrrrpI hate all the Jewsrrrrpp. Pwing." Mel Gibson's fart smelled like shrimp cocktail. At 3:51am, Mel Gibson began to vomit in my patrol car. It had an Irish stew consistency with pieces of corn and bits of carrot that seemed to take the shape of a Nazi flag. Each time Mel Gibson vomited, he gurgled "Jews started all the wars." What cop ever quoted a perp like this? I think he was mad about the fat joke.


Posted by: rdbrewer at July 31, 2006 04:34 AM (1Fcf5)

90 The CAPS LOCK is on

Apostrophe key is blocked

It's Spurwing Plover

Posted by: Retired Geezer at July 31, 2006 04:51 AM (A6u5v)

91 My Snuggly's stressed out
Give him one day with Feisty
That's all it will take

Posted by: Feisty at July 31, 2006 08:07 AM (G//s0)

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