June 28, 2011

Oh My: Political "Press Tart" Explains Getting, Giving Jobs
— Ace

Ever wonder why we have the political class we do? Given that their surface capabilities are so obviously lacking?

Yeah, well, maybe there's stuff going on you don't see.

In related news, Ari Fleischer just emailed me to say "FIRST! In before Will Folks."

Update: Would You? A commenter pointed out that I really fell down on the job here by not linking a picture.

Well, here's one.

She shopped the book in 2009 under the working title, "My Burning Bush."

Subtle.

One of the things editors do is give titles to books. I think "Life of the Party" is an editor doing a decent job.

Here's another pic:

Eh. Glamour shots are extremely unreliable evidence. And it's meh anyway.

Of course, as George Carlin observed, one sentence which has never been spoken in the history of the universe is "Stop s***ing my d*** immediately or I will call the police."


Posted by: Ace at 12:03 PM | Comments (222)
Post contains 169 words, total size 1 kb.

1 aw damn it Ari.

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2011 12:04 PM (h+qn8)

2 Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

Posted by: Henry Kissinger, leering creepily at June 28, 2011 12:05 PM (XyoGP)

3

¡Cinco de Primero!

Posted by: Barack Obama at June 28, 2011 12:05 PM (Ka1c5)

4 You would think a smart military blog like this would have photographic evidence of the perpertrator of this act.

Posted by: robtr at June 28, 2011 12:06 PM (MtwBb)

5 Say it ain't so, Ari.  Damn. 

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2011 12:07 PM (UOM48)

6 The first rule of Blow-job Club.......

Posted by: eleven at June 28, 2011 12:07 PM (7DB+a)

7 I find this funny.  Very funny.  BizarroWorld Maher funny.

Posted by: toby928 at June 28, 2011 12:08 PM (GTbGH)

8

What is 'Because she can't whistle while she works?'

Posted by: Ari Fleischer on Jeopardy at June 28, 2011 12:09 PM (Ka1c5)

9 I'd be upset if he was giving the blow job instead of receiving it.  So, I'm fine with this.   

Posted by: joejm65 at June 28, 2011 12:09 PM (UZuc4)

10 Maybe there's "fluff" going on we don't see, too.

Posted by: twiceblessedmom at June 28, 2011 12:09 PM (HjxoE)

11 Ever wonder why we have the political class we do?

"Are relatively frequent elections a sufficient safeguard for freedom?
And what good are elections when any representative democratic system
eventually, and inevitably, becomes rigged to favor incumbents and a class of
elites? The present system is dominated by a class of career politicians,
increasingly hereditary, who must possess some combination of wealth,
influence, insider connections, and official credentials, and who use their
offices to acquire more. Generally, the higher the office the more this is the
case. It is little wonder that a system such as this would create a mass of
passive, easily manipulated citizens and a professional political class
increasingly adept at manipulating them
."

Posted by: maverick muse at June 28, 2011 12:09 PM (lpWVn)

12 It is not who you know;
but who you blow.

Posted by: Monica Lewinsky at June 28, 2011 12:09 PM (84pE9)

13 Well, it would explain the McCain campaign's media strategy. (Let that mental image sink in for a while.)

Posted by: joncelli at June 28, 2011 12:09 PM (RD7QR)

14 Why the hell is she freely admitting it?

Does she need another gig that badly?

Posted by: fluffy, now auditioning press secretaries at June 28, 2011 12:10 PM (SwkdU)

15 Did she spit or swallow?

Posted by: Gil Hicks at June 28, 2011 12:10 PM (Ka1c5)

16 Her parents must be bursting with pride.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2011 12:11 PM (UOM48)

17 The first rule of the blowjob club . . .

Posted by: Ed Rollins at June 28, 2011 12:11 PM (lT0LC)

18
just peeped her pic

she look

she looka like-a man

kinda

Posted by: soothie at June 28, 2011 12:11 PM (G/zuv)

19 Posted by: fluffy, now auditioning press secretaries at June 28, 2011 05:10 PM (SwkdU)

So, are you hiring?  I might be looking.

Posted by: Monica Lewinsky at June 28, 2011 12:11 PM (84pE9)

20 That's an image I didn't need seared into my brain. They're will probably be permanent damage.

Posted by: Beefy Meatball at June 28, 2011 12:11 PM (YYaIP)

21 Pass.

Posted by: Jeff B. at June 28, 2011 12:11 PM (hIWe1)

22 hah

Posted by: eleven at June 28, 2011 12:12 PM (7DB+a)

23 I just hope this was before he got married.

And in the pic she's leaning over, squeezing her boobies together to make them look bigger. 

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2011 12:12 PM (UOM48)

24 Wait, what?!  That was on offer?  Why wasn't I informed?!!!!

Posted by: Robert Gibbs at June 28, 2011 12:12 PM (XyoGP)

25 And I hired her based on a freakin' interview.

Posted by: Ralph Reed at June 28, 2011 12:13 PM (QKKT0)

26 If nothing else, this helps explain how so many incompetent nitwits get hired to do media for Republican campaigns.

FTFY

Posted by: 18-1 at June 28, 2011 12:13 PM (7BU4a)

27 What a slut!

/I wish I sent her a dic-pic...

Posted by: Anthony Weiner at June 28, 2011 12:14 PM (c0A3e)

28 I am thinking of running for office and I need a Press Suck, I mean Secretary. Anyone have her phone number handy? If not, hopefully Breitbart will be here soon and I KNOW he has it.

Posted by: Ducasti at June 28, 2011 12:14 PM (KYE7u)

29 Posted by: fluffy, now auditioning press secretaries at June 28, 2011 05:10 PM (SwkdU)

I may be looking for something in a couple of years.  Hi, handsome.

Posted by: Valerie Jarrett at June 28, 2011 12:14 PM (UOM48)

30
Apparently, she's been shopping this book since '09. Warning, Politico link.


Pros: she's better looking than Jessica Cutler aka Washingtonienne

Cons: no indication from the story that she'll let you dork her in the squeekhole

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 28, 2011 12:14 PM (8rHXV)

31 Speaking of flakes, there's always Air Fleischer... Incompetent nitwits, birds of a feather of either gender.

former President Bush Press Secretary Ari Fleischer a blow job.” If nothing else, this helps explain how so many incompetent nitwits get hired to do media for Republican campaigns.


Posted by: maverick muse at June 28, 2011 12:14 PM (lpWVn)

32 Does it always have to be tawdry sex and smut with these people?  Just once I'd like to discover that a political figure is the member of an unspeakable cult.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at June 28, 2011 12:14 PM (FkKjr)

33 There all whores in DC she's just an old school one.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at June 28, 2011 12:14 PM (tf9Ne)

34 So the entry fee to joining our vaunted political class is a BJ or two?

Hmmm....

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at June 28, 2011 12:15 PM (c0A3e)

35 If nothing else, this helps explain how so many incompetent nitwits get hired to do media

Helps explain how I got 'the Cronkite' chair, no?

Posted by: Katie Couric at June 28, 2011 12:15 PM (84pE9)

36 Oh, dear. How did White House Press Secretary Jay Carney get that spot? And Robert Gibbs before him?

Posted by: t-bird at June 28, 2011 12:15 PM (FcR7P)

37 well, she certainly should be finished as a journalist , she can't keep her sources hidden....

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2011 12:15 PM (h+qn8)

38 Makes me wonder how Gibbs got his job

Posted by: Jollyroger at June 28, 2011 12:15 PM (NCw5u)

39

Mom and dad must be damn proud.

Posted by: Cicero at June 28, 2011 12:15 PM (QKKT0)

40 I'm confused.

Is she tarty because of his spunky junk or in spite of it?

Posted by: laceyunderalls at June 28, 2011 12:15 PM (pLTLS)

41 Another tough day at the office.

Posted by: sTevo at June 28, 2011 12:16 PM (VMcEw)

42 She has talent no doubt...just not what the masses can readily see.

Posted by: baseballguy at June 28, 2011 12:16 PM (MaS0T)

43 I can just see her dad introducing her at his Rotary luncheon.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2011 12:16 PM (UOM48)

44 jolly, perhaps Pelosi

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2011 12:16 PM (h+qn8)

45 39

Mom and dad must be damn proud.

Indeed.

Unless her mom and dad were the type of trash parents that teach their daughters the credo of "get on your knees girl, and you will get things".

This kind of blatant depravity, and how this screws over the rest of us, makes me wish for a sweet escape from this wretched rot-blister.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at June 28, 2011 12:17 PM (c0A3e)

46 37well, she certainly should be finished as a journalist , she can't keep her sources hidden....

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2011 05:15 PM (h+qn

 

She writes for the Huffington Post.  This will probably get her a promotion...

Posted by: joejm65 at June 28, 2011 12:17 PM (UZuc4)

47 Rachel Maddow squeezed my junk once.

Posted by: Scott McClellan at June 28, 2011 12:17 PM (QKKT0)

48 It is not who you know;
but who you blow.
Posted by: Monica Lewinsky

That, and what you blow.

Posted by: Meghan McCain at June 28, 2011 12:17 PM (lpWVn)

49 .....yeah! ace is alive!

Posted by: phoenixgirl at June 28, 2011 12:17 PM (eOXTH)

50 Was he married at the time? If not , I believe it's still okay for Republicans to get and give blowjobs. If it isn't I want to change party affiliation. For the getting part.

Posted by: Alabaster Jones at June 28, 2011 12:17 PM (GIeoW)

51
So she was Press Secretary.

In other words, she has a talented tongue.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 28, 2011 12:17 PM (8rHXV)

52 I went to The Hill and all I got was this lousy t-shirt stained dress.

Posted by: Press Tart at June 28, 2011 12:18 PM (pLTLS)

53 so , we should  never say FKU! at a political party, cause they'd take you up on your offer.

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2011 12:18 PM (h+qn8)

54
"And under the dais, you can see my daughter Lisa doing what she does best."


Posted by: Mr. Baron at a Rotary Club Luncheon at June 28, 2011 12:19 PM (84pE9)

55

She shopped the book in 2009 under the working title, "My Burning Bush."

There's an over-the-counter remedy for that now.

Posted by: Cicero at June 28, 2011 12:19 PM (QKKT0)

56 She looks like she could be MKH's slutpuppy cousin.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at June 28, 2011 12:19 PM (pLTLS)

57 My boobies are bigger!

Posted by: Meggie Mac at June 28, 2011 12:19 PM (UOM48)

58 She's not incompetent. At least at the job she thinks is important.

Posted by: Kevin In ABQ at June 28, 2011 12:19 PM (BvTwT)

59 joe, certainly.

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2011 12:20 PM (h+qn8)

60
isn't this old?


Posted by: soothie at June 28, 2011 12:20 PM (G/zuv)

61 Who hires her next?  Romney, Perry, T-Paw, or other?

Posted by: Bob Saget at June 28, 2011 12:20 PM (F/4zf)

62 61 Who hires her next?  Romney, Perry, T-Paw, or other?

Hillary.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2011 12:21 PM (UOM48)

63

She shopped the book in 2009 under the working title, "My Burning Bush."

There's an over-the-counter remedy for that now.


Really?  Do tell.




Posted by: Meggie Mac at June 28, 2011 12:21 PM (84pE9)

64 looks as if she has a slight rash on her chest, she should probably not spit.

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2011 12:21 PM (h+qn8)

65
dammit

I just got up to speed on this and Ace and everyone else already knows.

Posted by: soothie at June 28, 2011 12:21 PM (G/zuv)

66 ugh,  I'm really sick of these folks, can't we fire everyone in the club? both parties?

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2011 12:22 PM (h+qn8)

67 Hillary.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2011 05:21 PM (UOM4

Brutal.  Heh.

Posted by: Cicero at June 28, 2011 12:22 PM (QKKT0)

68 Gee, another Arianna Huffington or Teresa Heinz-Kerry.  Climbing to the top by laying on their back.  Yep, you have come along way Baby.  No respect for yourself at all.

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 28, 2011 12:22 PM (Zd0YP)

69 Who hires her next?  Romney, Perry, T-Paw, or other?

Hillary.

Yeah, out of the four of them, she has the biggest dick.

Posted by: CUS at June 28, 2011 12:22 PM (84pE9)

70
I'll tell you what...

that's a big fickin earring

Posted by: soothie at June 28, 2011 12:22 PM (G/zuv)

71 Ace-- the Carlin thing?  Now that's a good observational joke!

Posted by: tomc at June 28, 2011 12:22 PM (wAMWl)

72 "She shopped the book in 2009 under the working title, "My Burning Bush."" Hey, that's the title of the porn showing at Elmer Fishpaw's porn theater in the movie Polyester.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at June 28, 2011 12:22 PM (y/+eD)

73

In related news, Ari Fleischer just emailed me to say "FIRST! In before Will Folks."

Once again, more proof that Henry Kissinger was right, power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

Plenty of horny, easy GOP broads out there too.  Generally they are more discrete though.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at June 28, 2011 12:22 PM (A0VTZ)

74
that earring is frickin Christmas Tree ornament

Posted by: soothie at June 28, 2011 12:22 PM (G/zuv)

75 Well I heard that Helen Thomas wants to get back into the White House Press Corp. Someone hook her up with Jay Carney.

Posted by: William Amos at June 28, 2011 12:23 PM (64iGL)

76 Alright, show of hands.  How many of you were googling Lisa Baron images and just happened to check back to Ace?

Posted by: pep at June 28, 2011 12:23 PM (6TB1Z)

77 Were those "created" or "saved" jobs?

Posted by: No Whining at June 28, 2011 12:23 PM (IOn5f)

78

Soothie, "That's no earring..."

Lacey Skywalker, "I got a bad feeling about this..."

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 28, 2011 12:24 PM (Zd0YP)

79 Hey Jay (removing her dentures) you want it with the gums?

Posted by: Helen Thomas at June 28, 2011 12:24 PM (84pE9)

80

Were those "created" or "saved" jobs?

This particular job is safe from the ATMs.

Posted by: Cicero at June 28, 2011 12:24 PM (QKKT0)

81 Oh, dear. How did White House Press Secretary Jay Carney get that spot? And Robert Gibbs before him?

Barry won't come out of the closet; it's occupied.

Posted by: Meghan McCain at June 28, 2011 12:25 PM (lpWVn)

82 Graduated from Oral Roberts. Summa cum load, no less.

Posted by: Ari's Flesher at June 28, 2011 12:25 PM (CYoZS)

83 In other words, she has a talented tongue.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur

she uses her tongue better than a 20 dollar whore

Posted by: Taggart at June 28, 2011 12:25 PM (fPOY0)

84 >>Of course, as George Carlin observed, one sentence which has never been spoken in the history of the universe is "Stop s***ing my d*** immediately or I will call the police."

Funny

Posted by: Dr Spank at June 28, 2011 12:25 PM (k0TKJ)

85
Why is she a tart, lu asks.

Well, lu, you see, it's like this. She's a tart because she spreads her legs and can't keep her fickin mouth shut, literally and figuratively.


Posted by: soothie at June 28, 2011 12:25 PM (G/zuv)

86 This particular job is safe from the ATMs.






Depends on how you use the acronym.



Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 28, 2011 12:25 PM (8rHXV)

87 Don't knock her.   For 350,000 or a sweet gig, I'd f*ck anything once!

/Can you guess the reference?

Posted by: Steven Seagal at June 28, 2011 12:26 PM (c0A3e)

88 "And it's meh anyway." What are you, gay? Regardless of everything else, she's extremely hot. Especially for a gnome like Ari Fleischer.

Posted by: Johnny at June 28, 2011 12:26 PM (FYwGn)

89 ugh

Posted by: maverick muse at June 28, 2011 12:26 PM (lpWVn)

90 ...Fire them all and restock the political class by a nationwide lottery.  Honestly, what news.  I could cry.

Posted by: Quint&Jessel, Sea of Azof, Bly, UK at June 28, 2011 12:27 PM (C7KNt)

91 So what happens every day on the left sometimes happens on the right, which is therefore proof that GOP IS TEH EVIL!!!

Yes, thanks, Washington slut, I'm sure this is not just a political smear job on the right at a time when the left is desperate for political weapons.

Could not *possibly* be.

Here's a real tip for power figures - don't sleep with sluts, not because it's wrong, but because THEY TELL EVERYBODY!

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at June 28, 2011 12:27 PM (bxiXv)

92
My Burning Bush?

M Y  L E A K Y  M E L O N S
by The Girl On The Sidebar

Posted by: soothie at June 28, 2011 12:27 PM (G/zuv)

93 Cons: no indication from the story that she'll let you dork her in the squeekhole "let"?

Posted by: Dominique Strauss-Kahn at June 28, 2011 12:28 PM (saRwI)

94 And it's meh anyway.

I bid two beer for the hitting.

Posted by: toby928 at June 28, 2011 12:28 PM (GTbGH)

95

M Y
C R A B B Y  B U S H

by Mrs Brady

Posted by: soothie at June 28, 2011 12:28 PM (G/zuv)

96
Extremely hot? No.

Hittable, even with the lights on? Hell yeah, no question.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 28, 2011 12:28 PM (8rHXV)

97 She has cold eyes.  Dead eyes.  Like a doll's.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2011 12:28 PM (UOM48)

98 Regardless of everything else, she's extremely hot.

"Extremely hot" is a very subjective term.  But then again, she's already claimed to have a "burning bush", so you could be right.

/Just beware if you wish to engage with decadence with her.  And remember that you always get what you pay for,

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at June 28, 2011 12:28 PM (c0A3e)

99 really disappointed in Ari, for shame.

I expect human weakness, but srsly.. I want those that lead , and have positions of power to be better than this.

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2011 12:29 PM (h+qn8)

100
I need booby alliteration, stat!


Posted by: soothie at June 28, 2011 12:29 PM (G/zuv)

101 How hot does a chick have to be before you allow her to blow you? Not very.

Posted by: Dr Spank at June 28, 2011 12:30 PM (k0TKJ)

102 Generally they are more discrete though.

Oh boy, a chance to pick nits.  So, you're saying they are more distinct?

Posted by: Grammar Nazi with a 4 hour erection at June 28, 2011 12:30 PM (6TB1Z)

103 Why couldn't I have been in the executive's chair when Dana Perino applied for the job?

Posted by: The Q at June 28, 2011 12:30 PM (NdE8F)

104 You know what makes a young woman seem hot?  Giving me blow jobs.

Posted by: toby928 at June 28, 2011 12:30 PM (GTbGH)

105 I coulda been a contender!

Posted by: Helen Thomas at June 28, 2011 12:30 PM (UOM48)

106 I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers.

Posted by: todler at June 28, 2011 12:30 PM (fPOY0)

107
My Trickling Ta-Ta's

Posted by: soothie at June 28, 2011 12:30 PM (G/zuv)

108

"My Burning Bush"

That's my title!

Posted by: Rafael Escamilla at June 28, 2011 12:30 PM (FpD49)

109 Just listened to the audio.  She repeated refers to herself as a "mouthpiece."

I'd probably let her give me one....I'd probably close my eyes and pretend she was really a woman too...but I'd let her do it.

Posted by: Kasper Hauser at June 28, 2011 12:30 PM (HqpV0)

110 Here's a real tip for power figures - don't sleep with sluts, not because it's wrong, but because THEY TELL EVERYBODY!

Isn't that kind of the point?

Posted by: power figures at June 28, 2011 12:30 PM (6TB1Z)

111 97 She has cold eyes.  Dead eyes.  Like a doll's.

Um, forgive my ignorance on the subject, as everything I know about decadence I gleamed from vintage 90's Skinemax pron, but I doubt Ari was looking into Lisa's eyes during her oral interview. 

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at June 28, 2011 12:31 PM (c0A3e)

112
My Babbling Boobs

Posted by: soothie at June 28, 2011 12:31 PM (G/zuv)

113 The top of her head is attractive enough.

Posted by: toby928 at June 28, 2011 12:31 PM (GTbGH)

114 I honestly don't understand what the story is here.

This seems pretty tame. Am I correct in saying that this excerpt boils down to her saying she had sex with Ari while they were both single? Uh, OK.

Posted by: Waterhouse at June 28, 2011 12:31 PM (IdoRk)

115 She's a bit handsome for me.

Posted by: garrett at June 28, 2011 12:32 PM (FpD49)

116

Has Ari Fleisher responded at all to what this young lady alleges?

Posted by: Truck Monkey at June 28, 2011 12:32 PM (yQWNf)

117 Best quote from the book?

"With each bob of my head, I considered my future options...."


Posted by: Kasper Hauser at June 28, 2011 12:32 PM (HqpV0)

118 I expect human weakness, but srsly.. I want those that lead , and have positions of power to be better than this.

Get used to disappointment.

Posted by: Dread Pirate Roberts at June 28, 2011 12:32 PM (6TB1Z)

119 The big deal encounter is one with Ari 11 years ago.  He got married 2 years after that incident (assuming it's true).  And he was pretty ashamed of the encounter apparently.  I mean this is the big deal?  Political slut blows 40-year-old single political spokesman? Sorry, guys, this isn't your grandpa's GOP.

Gee, Ralph Reed is a hard-nosed political guy, who would've thought?

She appears to engage in a lot of irresponsible speculation, though, accusing Ralph Reed of things she has no knowledge of, like that McCain "smear" which nobody ever heard about until McCain whined and bitched about it after SC was over.  Johnny Mac, South Carolinians were tired of your Maverick act all the way back then, too.

I think the biggest story here is that Lisa Baron has turned from a slut to a whore, and her price has gone down.

Posted by: AmishDude at June 28, 2011 12:32 PM (T0NGe)

120 So Ari got a blow job from an attractive (though that is debatable) woman. I tip my hat to you Ari, better you than I (since I am married and that would not result in a divorce but rather the removal of the man parts with a rusty spoon and a slow tortuous death).

Posted by: Penfold at June 28, 2011 12:32 PM (1PeEC)

121

She looks like a dude in drag so she must be able to suck a watermelon through a straw. There is no other explanation. - My husband

Posted by: Ms Choksondik at June 28, 2011 12:32 PM (sVk8z)

122 >>97 She has cold eyes.  Dead eyes.  Like a doll's.


Yeah, but her mouth is shaped like a party.

Posted by: Dr Spank at June 28, 2011 12:32 PM (k0TKJ)

123
She offered her honor
I honored her offer
And all the night long
It was "on her" and "off her"

Posted by: Ari Fleisher at June 28, 2011 12:33 PM (8rHXV)

124

This womans face does not ring a bell with me.  Let me get a look at the top of her head.

Posted by: Ari Fleisher at June 28, 2011 12:33 PM (yQWNf)

125

Has Ari Fleisher responded at all to what this young lady alleges?

It took about five minutes, but yes.

Posted by: Cicero at June 28, 2011 12:34 PM (QKKT0)

126 I'd hit it

Posted by: Will folks at June 28, 2011 12:34 PM (BAtLQ)

127 about that Burning Bush... I think Vagisil will help

Posted by: chuck in st paul at June 28, 2011 12:34 PM (EhYdw)

128 99really disappointed in Ari, for shame.

I expect human weakness, but srsly.. I want those that lead , and have positions of power to be better than this.

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2011 05:29 PM (h+qn

 

I think you're putting Ari a little too high on the pedestal.  He didn't lead, and the position of power thing becomes a stretch when it comes to being a Press Secretary.  Be happy for the guy.  He probably got a cosmic hummer.  That's really all that matters...

Posted by: joejm65 at June 28, 2011 12:34 PM (UZuc4)

129 This seems pretty tame. Am I correct in saying that this excerpt boils down to her saying she had sex with Ari while they were both single? Uh, OK.

I think the suggestion is, based on what I don't know, that she's willing to give  the quim for a quid.

Posted by: toby928 at June 28, 2011 12:34 PM (GTbGH)

130 I think "The Talking Twat" is a better title. Or "Updated: How to win Friends and Influence People".

I denounce myself.

Posted by: museisluse at June 28, 2011 12:34 PM (Y3n3D)

131 It took about five minutes, but yes.

Winner!

Posted by: pep at June 28, 2011 12:34 PM (6TB1Z)

132

Of course, as George Carlin observed, one sentence which has never been spoken in the history of the universe is "Stop s***ing my d*** immediately or I will call the police."

At a party, drunk out of your mind on Value Rite and pass out, you awaken from your stupor only to find a certain unemployed White House Press Corpse Corps member attending your little soldier...what do you do....WHAT DO YOU DO!?? 

Pardon while I go bleach my eyes and puke non stop for even bringing such a situation to light...I denounce my self infinitum.

Posted by: Red Shirt at June 28, 2011 12:34 PM (FIDMq)

133

(since I am married and that would not result in a divorce but rather the removal of the man parts with a rusty spoon and a slow tortuous death)

 

Divorce is better, for sure. 

You get to keep all of your junk and half of your stuff!

Posted by: garrett at June 28, 2011 12:34 PM (FpD49)

134
I'd hit that.

I wouldn't call her the next day, but I'd hit it.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at June 28, 2011 12:34 PM (1hM1d)

135 Amish said ;The big deal encounter is one with Ari 11 years ago.  He got married 2 years after that incident (assuming it's true)

Amish, whew good, I am relieved.

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2011 12:34 PM (h+qn8)

136 Me too!  Umm....what's "hit it" mean?

Posted by: Larry Marchant at June 28, 2011 12:35 PM (UOM48)

137 I'd definitely hit that.

Posted by: Ike Turner at June 28, 2011 12:36 PM (k0TKJ)

138 So, she's telling us she's a whore?

Posted by: nickless at June 28, 2011 12:36 PM (MMC8r)

139
all these twits should title their books

My Fifteen Minutes At The Expense of My Dignity
And Someone Else's Reputation!

Posted by: soothie at June 28, 2011 12:36 PM (G/zuv)

140 >>Of course, as George Carlin observed, one sentence which has never been spoken in the history of the universe is "Stop s***ing my d*** immediately or I will call the police."

>Funny

Indeed. Might use it myself this weekend.

Posted by: Bill Maher at June 28, 2011 12:36 PM (BvTwT)

141 But did she swallow?

Posted by: Monica at June 28, 2011 12:36 PM (66mOv)

142 She has cold eyes.  Dead eyes.  Like a doll's.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2011 05:28 PM (UOM4

 

Or an everyday, corner prostitute.  (Not that I know that from experience) 

Posted by: Soona at June 28, 2011 12:37 PM (FQaVj)

143 joe, yeah I'm not feeling so sad now, as He was not married. Now I just think, The woman shouldn't kiss and tell. she won't be trusted again..or maybe she'll be hired for every speech or discussion  until she dies.

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2011 12:37 PM (h+qn8)

144
For the Moronettes: if I don't call her the next day, does that make me a bad man?

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at June 28, 2011 12:37 PM (1hM1d)

145 If she were a democrap, zombie Ron Brown could have gotten her a sweet gig in NY.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at June 28, 2011 12:38 PM (yQWNf)

146 I'd definitely hit that.

Posted by: Ike Turner

Me too

Posted by: Chris Brown at June 28, 2011 12:38 PM (fPOY0)

147 Amish, whew good, I am relieved.

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2011 05:34 PM (h+qn

If Wiki is to be believed (but I remember this) Ari got married in 2002.  All the incidents chronicled in the article (and one can only presume, the whole book) were in 2000.

She must be pretty desperate to have shopped this 11-year-old stuff for 2 years.

Posted by: AmishDude at June 28, 2011 12:39 PM (T0NGe)

148 "For the Moronettes: if I don't call her the next day, does that make me a bad man?" I think that just makes you a regular man.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at June 28, 2011 12:39 PM (y/+eD)

149 144
For the Moronettes: if I don't call her the next day, does that make me a bad man?

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie © at June 28, 2011 05:37 PM (1hM1d)


If she just offers you a casual b.j.?  Would you want to introduce her to your parents?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2011 12:39 PM (UOM48)

150
So is that dress black or dark blue?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 28, 2011 12:39 PM (8rHXV)

151

@12

It is not who you know;
but who you blow.
----------------------------

It's not who you know;
It's not how you blow;
It's how you blow who you know that counts.

TFIFY

Posted by: chuck in st paul at June 28, 2011 12:40 PM (EhYdw)

152 So, is that the best (worst) she's got ... seriously ... this is a book?!?!?!?!

Posted by: Honey Badger at June 28, 2011 12:40 PM (GvYeG)

153 If she just offers you a casual b.j.?  Would you want to introduce her to your parents?

Posted by: Jane D'oh

Am I digging sheets out of my ass the next day?

Posted by: todler at June 28, 2011 12:40 PM (fPOY0)

154 Eh. Glamour shots are extremely unreliable evidence. And it's meh anyway.

Not bent over on all fours.

Posted by: Winston Wolf at June 28, 2011 12:40 PM (2kFrT)

155
I'd definitely hit that.

Posted by: Ike Turner

Me too

Posted by: Chris Brown at June 28, 2011 05:38 PM (fPOY0)




That reminds me, I outta give Daryl Hannah a call. Catch up on old times.....


Posted by: Jackson Browne at June 28, 2011 12:41 PM (8rHXV)

156 That's a nice handle hanging from her ear lobe.

Posted by: bergerbilder at June 28, 2011 12:41 PM (S1Ttj)

157 Looking at the teeth in the glamour shot, I'd be a little worried, actually.

Posted by: AmishDude at June 28, 2011 12:42 PM (T0NGe)

158

If she just offers you a casual b.j.?

 

When does this happen?  Seriously. 

When? ...

 and to whom?

Posted by: garrett at June 28, 2011 12:42 PM (FpD49)

159 Quim pro quo, I love it. I wish I could say Quim in a headline.

Posted by: ace at June 28, 2011 12:42 PM (nj1bB)

160
That's a nice handle hanging from her ear lobe.





I think they're called.....reins.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 28, 2011 12:43 PM (8rHXV)

161 I am really worried.  If it gets out that Republicans are going around giving and getting oral sex, how the hell will we get young people to join the party?

Posted by: Kasper Hauser at June 28, 2011 12:43 PM (HqpV0)

162 152 So, is that the best (worst) she's got ... seriously ... this is a book?!?!?!?!

Posted by: Honey Badger at June 28, 2011 05:40 PM (GvYeG)

Almost surely this is the worst she has.  The book publisher always trots out the most sensational stuff for the "shocker" article.

Explains why publishers passed on it for so long.

Posted by: AmishDude at June 28, 2011 12:43 PM (T0NGe)

163 So....Ari must resign his seat in Congress...?

Really, doesn't this make her look worse than anyone else in the story?

Posted by: nickless at June 28, 2011 12:43 PM (MMC8r)

164
Looking at the teeth in the glamour shot, I'd be a little worried, actually.




Like a parking garage exit sign.

DO NOT BACK UP

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 28, 2011 12:44 PM (8rHXV)

165 >>>When does this happpen... and to whom? Sacred duty compels me to say, "I tapped that like a kegger at a frat-house cookout."

Posted by: Will Folks at June 28, 2011 12:44 PM (nj1bB)

166 Really, doesn't this make her look worse than anyone else in the story?

Posted by: nickless

Depending on who else she manage to blow, yeah. It's not good for her either way. And as said above, her parents must be SO proud. Hope her trust fund is good sized, she'll have a hard time getting a job.

Posted by: todler at June 28, 2011 12:45 PM (fPOY0)

167 This is like saying you blew the bass player from Candlebox. Who gives a fuck?

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at June 28, 2011 12:45 PM (lbo6/)

168

If she just offers you a casual b.j.?  Would you want to introduce her to your parents?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2011 05:39 PM (UOM4

 

Maybe my dad........

Posted by: Soona at June 28, 2011 12:45 PM (FQaVj)

169 You'd be amazed how not-hot a chick has to be to get a hummer next to a hummer in a hotel parking lot.

Posted by: DarkFlounder at June 28, 2011 12:45 PM (A4WdH)

170 I had toe nail fungus once ... I'm writing a book and I don't give a &*^% !!

Posted by: Honey Badger at June 28, 2011 12:45 PM (GvYeG)

171 yeah I'm not feeling so sad now, as He was not married. Now I just think, The woman shouldn't kiss and tell. she won't be trusted again..or maybe she'll be hired for every speech or discussion  until she dies.

She just openly said. Hire me; I put out for my boss. I don't see unemployment in her future. So Fleischer got laid. Single men getting reasonable looking women to agree to a role in the hay is a dramatic story worth an entire novel now? Because R's have a gig  that says we should teach abstinence to minors, suddenly sex between consenting, presumably responsible, adults is somehow notable? The meh is strong here. If anything it shows R's aren't the prudes we are made out to be.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at June 28, 2011 12:45 PM (0q2P7)

172 Sacred duty compels me to say, "I tapped that like a kegger at a frat-house cookout."

Posted by: Will Folks

I was on that like a fat kid with a jelly donut.

Posted by: todler at June 28, 2011 12:45 PM (fPOY0)

173 I wish I could say Quim in a headline.

I don't think it's considered quite obscene, archaic certainly.

Posted by: toby928 at June 28, 2011 12:47 PM (GTbGH)

174 I think "Life of the Party" is an editor doing a decent job.

Oh hell no. That title's a total abdication of editorial work. You're only comparing it to My Burning Bush, which is so insanely bad you wouldn't even use it in a joke.

There are approximately six hundred and ninety-two political books called Life of the Party. And the editors of the last six hundred and ninety-one got their jobs by blowin' dudes.

Try to think of a worse title that isn't a joke about how she's a tranny and Ari Fleischer's head looks like a half-shaved yambag. You can't.

Posted by: oblig. at June 28, 2011 12:47 PM (xvZW9)

175 "I had toe nail fungus once ... I'm writing a book and I don't give a &*^% !!" No one wants to read about it, unless you stuck it somewhere weird.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at June 28, 2011 12:48 PM (y/+eD)

176 No one wants to read about it, unless you stuck it somewhere weird.

Why is everyone looking at me?

Posted by: dick morris at June 28, 2011 12:49 PM (GTbGH)

177

I was on that like a fat kid with a jelly donut.

Posted by: todler at June 28, 2011 05:45 PM (fPOY0)

 

I'd be on that like a dung beetle in a buffalo herd. 

Posted by: Soona at June 28, 2011 12:50 PM (FQaVj)

178 175 ... well of course I did ... I'm a freakin' honey badger!!!

Posted by: Honey Badger at June 28, 2011 12:53 PM (GvYeG)

179 quick lets start spamming lefty message boards with quotes from them about "Adults and privacy" during the Weiners sploosh.

4. Make the enemy live up to its own book of rules

Posted by: Shiggz at June 28, 2011 12:53 PM (mLAWK)

180 You have to wonder how many Democrats have visited her "yahoo palace?"

It's not good for anything now....except Madcow.

Posted by: mpfs at June 28, 2011 12:53 PM (iYbLN)

181 It is not much of a picture - "meh" is accurate. Anything from a top down angle?

Posted by: yankee fifth at June 28, 2011 12:53 PM (loM0R)

182 Really, doesn't this make her look worse than anyone else in the story?

Posted by: nickless at June 28, 2011 05:43 PM (MMC8r)

Pretty much.

Posted by: AmishDude at June 28, 2011 12:55 PM (T0NGe)

183 yeah this is where what is-is isn't really much of anything

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2011 12:56 PM (h+qn8)

184 Quite a strategery ... write a book that makes YOU look bad ... nice!

Posted by: Honey Badger at June 28, 2011 12:56 PM (GvYeG)

185 Oh honey (Amishdude), can you pick up a gallon of milk on the way home?  Since we are married and all I think you should do the little things for me.

Posted by: mpfs at June 28, 2011 12:56 PM (iYbLN)

186
Really, doesn't this make her look worse than anyone else in the story?

Posted by: nickless at June 28, 2011 05:43 PM (MMC8r)

Pretty much.

Posted by: AmishDude at June 28, 2011 05:55 PM (T0NGe)




Yeah, but it's part of her personal journey of feminist empowerment. Which all of us conservative neanderthals must celebrate or be branded as h8ful.


Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 28, 2011 12:57 PM (8rHXV)

187 pick up a gallon of milk on the way home

That's another euphemism, isn't it?

Posted by: toby928 at June 28, 2011 12:58 PM (GTbGH)

188 No one wants to read about it, unless you stuck it somewhere weird. Like in the bathtub faucet in a hotel?

Posted by: Laura Petrie at June 28, 2011 12:58 PM (S1Ttj)

189 What if you gave a blowjob and nobody came?

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at June 28, 2011 12:58 PM (lbo6/)

190 well Ari,  I hope you reciprocated in some way, pretty selfish of you.

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2011 12:58 PM (h+qn8)

191 pick up a gallon of milk on the way home

That's another euphemism, isn't it?
Posted by: toby928™

LMAO

Posted by: mpfs at June 28, 2011 12:59 PM (iYbLN)

192

Quite a strategery ... write a book that makes YOU look bad ... nice!

Wait, what?

Posted by: Meghan McCain's Dirty Sexy Politics, Now On The Remaindered Shelf Of A Bookstore Near You at June 28, 2011 01:00 PM (QKKT0)

193 Hey!

how did Helen Thomas stay in the WH press corps so long?

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2011 01:01 PM (h+qn8)

194 hope you'll shuddered

Posted by: willow at June 28, 2011 01:01 PM (h+qn8)

195 There's no dirty sex in Megaton's book. No sex at all.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at June 28, 2011 01:01 PM (lbo6/)

196

No comment from Mel Gibson yet? 

You disappoint me people.

Posted by: AndrewsDad at June 28, 2011 01:02 PM (C2//T)

197 179. random thought contd about Alynski....

Alynski interviewed by William F Buckley, 1967

Lefts true history, notice Alynski called "pet revolutionary of the church people."  The religious and Southern radicals during the ugly years were leftist democrats.  1994 was the first year democrats no longer controlled the majority of the south.  As someone who is religious and lived in the south, that is pretty much the time frame everything race relations cooled off and the economy started growing in the south.
 
http://tinyurl.com/3v78t5e

Posted by: Shiggz at June 28, 2011 01:02 PM (mLAWK)

198 My disillusionment is much worse now. With Empire of Jeff. Because he knows, and remembers, Candlebox.

Posted by: Quint&Jessel, Sea of Azof, Bly, UK at June 28, 2011 01:04 PM (C7KNt)

199 Words no mother ever wants to hear:

"Mom, I want you to meet my fiancee, Monica Lewinski."

Now you can add this twit to the list.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 28, 2011 01:04 PM (UOM48)

200 There is nothing like the thrive that will get ya
when you get your picture
on the cover of the Ace of Spades

Posted by: Dr John at June 28, 2011 01:04 PM (VMcEw)

201 144
For the Moronettes: if I don't call her the next day, does that make me a bad man?

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie © at June 28, 2011 05:37 PM (1hM1d)

What would you say- "want to go get some popsicles or bananas"?

Posted by: museisluse at June 28, 2011 01:08 PM (Y3n3D)

202

"My daughter wrote a book!  She's an author!"

"Oh really?  You must be so proud!  What did she write about?"

"Well... she had sex with a lot of people... she writes about that... and having sex with a lot of people...  My daughter is a whore!"

Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at June 28, 2011 01:11 PM (jx2j9)

203 Lisa Baron is not bad looking in real life.  Photo forthcoming.

Posted by: Mister Christopher at June 28, 2011 01:12 PM (OiVnN)

204 How many of the morons on this blog have been to DC lately? There are tramps like this everywhere. We did an event in the House office building a few years ago and the lobbyist we hired told me about each of the staffers. That's probably why she had a tough time selling her book. Everyone already knew.

Posted by: Hedgehog at June 28, 2011 01:12 PM (E2kOm)

205

Picture: Ouch.

This is one of those girls who put out to get attention because otherwise they are just "meh" and as they age, "ugh".

Posted by: dagny at June 28, 2011 01:12 PM (wr28N)

206 Our political class sucks because it is completely overwhelmed with polisci, communication majors and lawyers.

Posted by: Prof. Heinz Doofensmirtz at June 28, 2011 01:15 PM (mk7Rs)

207 The Italian liner Michelangelo was today launched.  The Prime Minister, Signore Fellatio, was in attendance.

Posted by: News John at June 28, 2011 01:16 PM (xy9wk)

208

Meh, really Ari?

She doesn't have any assets.

Posted by: CAC at June 28, 2011 01:16 PM (7Z9P3)

209 38 Makes me wonder how Gibbs got his job

Makes me understand how Shemp Smith got his.

Posted by: Jim Sonweed at June 28, 2011 01:17 PM (FVhEi)

210 Suck my dick, there's a future in it!

Posted by: Bill Clinton, as quoted by Dave Chappelle at June 28, 2011 01:17 PM (xy9wk)

211 My disillusionment is much worse now. With Empire of Jeff. Because he knows, and remembers, Candlebox.

Ace will probably ban him for that.  Gotta have some standards...

Posted by: sandy burger at June 28, 2011 01:18 PM (XyoGP)

212 Damn how believable is this? Ari Fleisher? I always thought he was a nerd.

Besides that, WTF publisher pays for a book this far out of date?

Teh stupid is epic. 

Posted by: Vic at June 28, 2011 01:20 PM (M9Ie6)

213 Washington is Hollywood for ugly people.

Posted by: Emperor PJ O'Rourke at June 28, 2011 01:27 PM (epBek)

214 I feel bad for Ari's wife. Most ex whatevers have the class not to show up in public about shit they did which the current wife may or may not enjoy, about how good / bad he was in the sack, boudoir nicknames and all the rest. Oh yeah, and nice Torah ref too with "burning bush". I'm sure G×d totes sees her as the next Moses.

Posted by: zimriel at June 28, 2011 01:40 PM (LggOY)

215

I wonder how the MFM coverage of this will compare to Weinergate.  Probably only 2 or 3 times the number of feature spots.  Looks like the Republicans are headed for extinction, again.

ps. Tony, come back!

Posted by: sherlock at June 28, 2011 03:16 PM (thr9V)

216 I'd always heard that these sorts of stories came out of this blog, but I was never sure I believed it ... UNTIL IT HAPPENED TO ME.

Posted by: Rajiv Vindaloo at June 28, 2011 04:00 PM (0+Izh)

217 Spooge hound, huh? And in the metro DC area?

OUTSTANDING!

Posted by: Unka Billy at June 28, 2011 04:07 PM (D6Uk6)

218 I totally believe Ari was all over that.

Ari was a stud.  Unappreciated in his time.

Since Ari, there has been Tony Snow (who was great) and the rest were drastically inferior.

Posted by: Dustin at June 28, 2011 04:12 PM (Q3nWV)

219 BOY: On a hot summer night would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?
GIRL: Will he offer me his mouth?
BOY: Yes
GIRL: Will he offer me his teeth?
BOY: Yes
GIRL: Will he offer me his jaws?
BOY: Yes
GIRL: Will he offer me his hunger?
BOY: Yes
GIRL: Again, will he offer me his hunger?
BOY: Yes!
GIRL: And will he starve without me?
BOY: Yes!
GIRL: And does he love me?
BOY: Yes
GIRL: Yes
BOY: On a hot summer night would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?
GIRL: Yes
BOY: I bet you to say that to all the boys.

Posted by: Meat Loaf at June 28, 2011 05:14 PM (fI1g6)

220 do you mean you lost them? I was just sitting down with McCauley A HALF HOUR AGO! Posted by: convert mts files at Judo you mean you lost them? I was just sitting down with McCauley A HALF HOUR AGO! Posted by: rip blu ray at Judo you mean you lost them? I was just sitting down with McCauley A HALF HOUR AGO! video to ipad converter Poat Ju

Posted by: snuig at June 28, 2011 06:39 PM (Oir6w)

221 Lisa Baron on Facebook  (nobody seems to care what she says there, either)

Posted by: Beth at June 28, 2011 07:57 PM (5NfIh)

222 Stick in that broad's bush and you're going to have a burning dick every time you take a leak.

Posted by: Comanche Voter at June 28, 2011 08:30 PM (3ESDJ)

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