December 31, 2014

Obama: I Give Myself a Solid A+ for 2014
— Ace

The prince doth prance.

That headline is deceptive, but I'm using the deceptive headline from MarketWatch. I don't see anywhere that Obama is quoted as giving himself an A+.

But it does seem implied.

WASHINGTON (MarketWatch)—To hear the White House tell it, the November elections never happened and 2014 was a super-duper year for President Obama.

In a "Year in Review" slideshow, the White House suggests 2014 represented a "breakthrough" for America. The Obama administration takes credit for:

• An economy growing at a record pace;

• The longest streak of private-sector job growth on record;

• The number of Americans without health insurance falling to a near record low...

Near a record low? Oh, it was lower before Obamacare. Perfect, just what you were aiming for, Captain Asshole.

I'm omitting the rest of his fantasias, which include checking Putin's overrunning of Ukraine (!!!!).

Obama does chide himself for some failures, of course. Primarily, his failure to adequately explain how awesome he's doing to the public.


"I'm obviously frustrated with the results of the midterm election," Obama told NPR in a radio interview released Monday. "I think we had a great record for members of Congress to run on. And I don't think we -- myself, and the Democratic Party -- made as good of a case as we should have."

Posted by: Ace at 06:43 AM | Comments (287)
Post contains 239 words, total size 2 kb.

1 I thought Boxing Day was last week.

Posted by: johnd01 at December 31, 2014 06:44 AM (ukNFU)

2 Record growth?

Rick Perry says "You're welcome."

Posted by: Y-not at December 31, 2014 06:46 AM (9BRsg)

3 Bizarro world. I would much prefer the Obama with the goatee.

Posted by: Bob Belcher at December 31, 2014 06:46 AM (3jmxp)

4 Boxy!

Posted by: L, elle at December 31, 2014 06:46 AM (2x3L+)

5 Obama gets an A+ in harming the US.

Posted by: davidt at December 31, 2014 06:46 AM (fBxC6)

6 I coulda been a contenduh!!!1!

Posted by: ykcoR aoblaB at December 31, 2014 06:47 AM (NXyC4)

7 I saw Better Than Italics open for Boxed In at the Cobra Terrordrome in 1996.

Posted by: Lance McComick at December 31, 2014 06:47 AM (XgBRL)

8 insert normal comment here

Posted by: toby928(C) at December 31, 2014 06:47 AM (evdj2)

9 "I'm sorry you're too stupid to understand my awesomeness."

Posted by: brak at December 31, 2014 06:47 AM (Tj+s6)

10 I feel boxed in.

Posted by: T. Jeff. at December 31, 2014 06:47 AM (/Ho8c)

11  Early OT: via Drudge, Sony hackers are going after the media next

Posted by: davidt at December 31, 2014 06:47 AM (fBxC6)

12 Okay, that's enough. I'm claustrophobic. Unbox us, Ace.

Posted by: L, elle at December 31, 2014 06:48 AM (2x3L+)

13 Did anyone expect anything less from this guy?

Posted by: navybrat at December 31, 2014 06:48 AM (JgC5a)

14 The prince has always pranced--at least with his butt buddies. He also rides a mom-bike wearing mom-jeans, and throws like a girl. If you trust his judgment, then you have none, yourself. Very simple. He's a fool, and like court jesters before him, he should be subject to the boot. #twoyears

Posted by: tcn in AK, almost at December 31, 2014 06:48 AM (g+qqc)

15 Also, yay for obstructionism in Congress.

Posted by: Lance McComick at December 31, 2014 06:48 AM (XgBRL)

16 Posted by: Y-not at December 31, 2014 11:46 AM (9BRsg When we lose about 200k jobs because of the free fall of oil prices they will be sure to recognize Perry.

Posted by: Bob Belcher at December 31, 2014 06:48 AM (3jmxp)

17 Bounce-back! Rebound! He has his mojo back! All hail the mighty one! Mrphh, mmmmph, mmmmmmm. Sorry, couldn't talk with my mouth full.

Posted by: Politico at December 31, 2014 06:48 AM (ChY2Q)

18 So, grhey............

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2014 06:48 AM (POynn)

19 My world is gray.

Posted by: votermom [/i] at December 31, 2014 06:48 AM (cbfNE)

20 Next year I intend to divorce Michelle and marry a younger woman who can bear me more children.

Thomas More better not stand in my way, either!

Posted by: King Barack at December 31, 2014 06:48 AM (7Kbxu)

21 My worst fault is that I get so wrapped up in working for the American People 24X7 that I neglect my family and my own needs.

Posted by: Barry Soetoro at December 31, 2014 06:49 AM (evdj2)

22 I just care too damn much.

Posted by: Barry Soetoro at December 31, 2014 06:49 AM (evdj2)

23 Sure. A+.......Is He really that delusional?

Posted by: hello, it's Me Donna ....again at December 31, 2014 06:49 AM (Bn6aD)

24 Considering he's the greatest Presidential Communicator ever, I'm sick of hearing how the public would adore him more if he only better communicated all of the benefits of his policies.


Or maybe the public is like Joe Biden and is just happy to hear a black man speak clearly.

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at December 31, 2014 06:49 AM (AC0lD)

25 I just knew this would happen, when I saw the Comments link inside the grey box. G'morning Ace. How they hanging'?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at December 31, 2014 06:49 AM (4ABEx)

26 Is this like Five Shades of Grey commenting?


Where da women at?

Posted by: Nip Sip at December 31, 2014 06:49 AM (0FSuD)

27 20 Next year I intend to divorce Michelle and marry a younger woman who can bear me more children.

Thomas More better not stand in my way, either!

Posted by: King Barack at December 31, 2014 11:48 AM (7Kbxu)


woman,,,hehe...

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at December 31, 2014 06:49 AM (AC0lD)

28 want a laugh? Read Proverbs, substitute TFG for "fool"--you'll have a half hour nodding session.

Posted by: Old Glazier at December 31, 2014 06:50 AM (1W2Op)

29 This is cool.......

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2014 06:50 AM (POynn)

30 When we lose about 200k jobs because of the free fall of oil prices they will be sure to recognize Perry.
---

With any luck the tech and firearms mfg jobs will make up for that.

Posted by: Y-not at December 31, 2014 06:50 AM (9BRsg)

31 There is no right or wrong, truth or lies. Everything is just shades of gray.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at December 31, 2014 06:51 AM (LImiJ)

32 Mama take this Badge from me I can't use it anymore It's getting dark Too dark to see Feels like I'm Knockin' on heaven's door

Posted by: RWC - Justice for Carlton Smith!! at December 31, 2014 06:51 AM (fWAjv)

33 For God sakes, people! Just let the man be clear!

Posted by: johnd01 at December 31, 2014 06:51 AM (ukNFU)

34 Obama: I Give Myself a Solid A+ for 2014 What a boob. And not the good kind.

Posted by: rickl at December 31, 2014 06:51 AM (zoehZ)

35 On Facebook, somebody posted a link to that story about how George W. Bush never left Washington until after Christmas so as to minimize disruption to the lives who those who would have to tend to him.

In response, a particularly nincompoopish "friend" of mine posted a link to factcheck.org claiming that Bush took more vacation days than Obama, completely missing the point.

Stupid doesn't begin to describe these people.

Posted by: Kensington (@NYKensington) at December 31, 2014 06:52 AM (7Kbxu)

36 One positive accomplishment. Obama has not started a nuclear war, yet.

Posted by: rd at December 31, 2014 06:52 AM (k19Aq)

37 Ambassadors killed: zero. Awesome year, Mr. President!

Posted by: eman at December 31, 2014 06:52 AM (MQEz6)

38 " Everything is just shades of gray.:'


Wasn't that a book? 

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2014 06:52 AM (POynn)

39 Must be nice living in the completely sheltered world Obama lives in. Never hearing that you're a dunce. Never understanding you've crippled people with your junior high thesis policies. Never getting the unfiltered horse shit that is your foreign policy. Etc.. MUST. BE. NICE.

Posted by: Seems Legit at December 31, 2014 06:52 AM (A98Xu)

40 I was raped by a pudding in aisle 9... I know it was a Republican pudding because it was humming the Horst- Wessel when it pulled off it's condom.

Posted by: OG Celtic-American, SingleMaltScotchGender at December 31, 2014 06:53 AM (ojfYH)

41 I would say my biggest flaw is that I take too much pride in my work.

Posted by: Barry at December 31, 2014 06:53 AM (hHFOx)

42 Fuck the fucking fuckster!! Sorry had to say it...

Posted by: Big Fuckin Al at December 31, 2014 06:53 AM (OZtuG)

43 "Sometimes I just care too much."

Posted by: brak at December 31, 2014 06:53 AM (Tj+s6)

44 I've been quoted by Ace!!!!

Posted by: Mega at December 31, 2014 06:53 AM (hHFOx)

45 I would like to dance for him, naked.

In front of all of you.

Posted by: Lena Dunham at December 31, 2014 06:53 AM (7Kbxu)

46 I just used up my Strategic Profanity Reserve. somethingsomething mime trapped in box somethingsomething

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at December 31, 2014 06:54 AM (mf5HN)

47 Annual Waffle Status: Unfinished

Posted by: toby928(C) at December 31, 2014 06:54 AM (evdj2)

48 I'm surprised He didn't say He wished there was a grade higher then A+...

Posted by: hello, it's Me Donna ....again at December 31, 2014 06:54 AM (Bn6aD)

49 We've all been quoted by Ace!!!!

Posted by: Mega at December 31, 2014 06:54 AM (hHFOx)

50 OK, he is definitely closest to Nero. I'd wondered about Domitian at times but no, this total belief in his good press is very Nero like. I hope we don't get a year of 4 emperors to follow this buffoon.

Posted by: PaleRider at December 31, 2014 06:54 AM (7w/kf)

51 His goals are not our goals.

Posted by: --- at December 31, 2014 06:54 AM (MMC8r)

52 Hey, Obama. Take Texas out of those numbers then get back to me.

Posted by: Lauren at December 31, 2014 06:54 AM (MYCIw)

53 I fixed the blog!

Posted by: Lauren at December 31, 2014 06:54 AM (MYCIw)

54 As usual Obama opens his yap and pukes out a bunch of lies.  All his MSM butt lickers fight each other to see who will lick it up and kiss his ass the best.

Posted by: Vic[/i] at December 31, 2014 06:55 AM (u9gzs)

55 "Fuck the fucking fuckster!!"


Come on out.  Tell us what you mean.  Don't be shy. 

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2014 06:55 AM (POynn)

56 I bet he smoked a lot of cigars this year.

Posted by: eman at December 31, 2014 06:55 AM (MQEz6)

57 Things are definitely Roman because I constantly want to vomit after I hear about this guy.

Posted by: Kensington (@NYKensington) at December 31, 2014 06:55 AM (7Kbxu)

58 Ah.....


Regular formatting.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2014 06:55 AM (POynn)

59 Barack Obama is a SCOAMT.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 31, 2014 06:55 AM (kff5f)

60 Did it work?

Posted by: Mega[/blockquote] at December 31, 2014 06:55 AM (hHFOx)

61 The highest high school graduation rate in the nation's history You can see the importance of this in our intelligent populace.

Posted by: RWC - Justice for Carlton Smith!! at December 31, 2014 06:55 AM (fWAjv)

62 "I'm obviously frustrated with the results of the midterm election," Obama told NPR in a radio interview released Monday. "I think we had a great record for members of Congress to run on. And I don't think we -- myself, and the Democratic Party -- made as good of a case as we should have." ******** Of course. Of course. It's always a matter of communication. Never, ever, ever is it simply that people don't like you and rejected your crap. Nooooo. It's communication. They don't make the case. For cripe's sake. I wish they failed to communicate as much as he thinks they do. The jug-eared fcuker was on frickin' Mythbusters, for Pete's sake. He and his minions are all over the place. They, and their BS, have permeated every corner of popular culture and can not be escaped. Failure to communicate my ass.

Posted by: Mandy P., lurking lurker who lurks at December 31, 2014 06:55 AM (KkVB6)

63 Obama takes credit for the gray. Like the rest of his policies, only people with much higher IQs than you like it right now, but you'll understand later. Don't fix it Ace. Don't take this crowning achievement from Barack and bring the year down to an A++. His improvement to stylesheets everywhere have him at a solid A+++.

Posted by: 0302 at December 31, 2014 06:55 AM (N6eLE)

64 TO THE VOMITORIUM!

Posted by: Seems Legit at December 31, 2014 06:55 AM (A98Xu)

65 >>>> His goals are not our goals the love of a pimp is not like that of a square

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at December 31, 2014 06:56 AM (Cq0oW)

66 I swear - the only thing that made me feel better after reading ace's post is this: Walking Dead's Dale just got ripped up by a zombie and shot by Darryl. To not laugh during that scene is to deny our essential humanity. And to not get a hoot during Rick's eulogy in the next episode ... more denial. So let our OJT President sally forth with his "Oh Wonderful Me" stuff. There's always ace ... and Dale.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 31, 2014 06:56 AM (4CVLy)

67 Sociopaths gonna socio...

Posted by: OG Celtic-American, SingleMaltScotchGender at December 31, 2014 06:56 AM (ojfYH)

68 A for Asshattery, sure.

Posted by: shredded chi at December 31, 2014 06:56 AM (ngXRR)

69 "I think we had a great record for members of Congress to run on. And I don't think we -- myself, and the Democratic Party -- made as good of a case as we should have." Yeah. That turd should have been polished until it shined like the sun.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 31, 2014 06:56 AM (4IFRz)

70 so everything is looking up i guess. funny not for the many people around my area. but ok.

Posted by: willow at December 31, 2014 06:56 AM (nqBYe)

71 Barack's 2015 New Year's Resolutions:


Better tasting seminal fluids....

Posted by: Stateless Infidel at December 31, 2014 06:56 AM (AC0lD)

72 And for real kicks take out Texas and the government spending on healthcare. But, A++

Posted by: Lauren at December 31, 2014 06:57 AM (MYCIw)

73 "I fixed the blog!"


What'd you that for?  That was fun. 


You a fun killer? 

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2014 06:57 AM (POynn)

74 I'm changing my name to Obama.

Posted by: NPD at December 31, 2014 06:57 AM (QWiro)

75 Checking the Ebola outbreak, Russian aggression in Ukraine and the ISIL terrorist group in the Mideast. Uhhh, yeah, I checked on that. Read it in the papers.

Posted by: RWC - Justice for Carlton Smith!! at December 31, 2014 06:58 AM (fWAjv)

76 41 I would say my biggest flaw is that I take too much pride in my work. Posted by: Barry at December 31, 2014 11:53 AM (hHFOx) Excuse me, I misspoke, my biggest flaw is I am not openly proud enough of my spectacular work.

Posted by: Real Barry at December 31, 2014 06:58 AM (N6eLE)

77 20 Next year I intend to divorce Michelle and marry a younger woman who can bear me more children.

Thomas More better not stand in my way, either!

And after the divorce I will eat all the BBQ I want and bang the WH maids when the trophy wife is out playing tennis with Brad Pitt and have John Kerry's head cut off when the Middle East implodes. 

 

Posted by: exdem13 at December 31, 2014 06:58 AM (/mTq0)

78 Im fuckin trying use up Alex the Chick's fucking Profanity Reserve. Am i getting fucking close??

Posted by: Big Fuckin Al at December 31, 2014 06:58 AM (OZtuG)

79 No More Asparagus! Reggie doesn't like the taste.

Posted by: OG Celtic-American, SingleMaltScotchGender at December 31, 2014 06:58 AM (ojfYH)

80 Again, I hope and pray that someone will stand up and turn their back on him at the SoTU show. Despite Boehner and McConnell.

Posted by: Rocky at December 31, 2014 06:58 AM (yThCe)

81 The longest streak of private-sector job growth on record; Amazing how long it takes when it's a trickle. Uh, where's participation rate, BTW...?

Posted by: --- at December 31, 2014 06:59 AM (MMC8r)

82 It isn't a failure to communicate per se, but rather a failure to deceive adequately.

Posted by: davidt at December 31, 2014 06:59 AM (fBxC6)

83 80 Again, I hope and pray that someone will stand up and turn their back on him at the SoTU show. Despite Boehner and McConnell. Posted by: Rocky at December 31, 2014 11:58 AM (yThCe) NYPD hats.

Posted by: eman at December 31, 2014 06:59 AM (MQEz6)

84 " Im fuckin trying use up Alex the Chick's fucking Profanity Reserve. Am i getting fucking close??"

Lemme help.


Fuck.  Fuck.  Damn.  Hell.  Shit.  Damnit.  Crap. 

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2014 06:59 AM (POynn)

85 The GOP should just not go to the State of the Union. They can read. Get the cliff notes.

Posted by: Lauren at December 31, 2014 07:00 AM (MYCIw)

86 Ebola ... My go-to question for my friends who think the Ebola issue was used by Republicans for political reasons. 1) Name the ebola tsar. 2) Name something he actually did 3) Guess the actual number of people in the US in ebola quarantine plus or minus 250. _

Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 31, 2014 07:00 AM (4CVLy)

87 Obama is trying make us all fatally rage-stroke before tge year ends. Death panels.

Posted by: votermom [/i] at December 31, 2014 07:00 AM (cbfNE)

88 Also, yay for obstructionism in Congress.

Guy at work complains all the time about GOP 'obstructionism'. When I inform him that obstructionism is what the founders designed into the constitution, I get this incomprehending blank stare.

Posted by: OregonMuse at December 31, 2014 07:00 AM (DVjiu)

89 66 I swear - the only thing that made me feel better after reading ace's post is this: Walking Dead's Dale just got ripped up by a zombie and shot by Darryl.

To not laugh during that scene is to deny our essential humanity.

And to not get a hoot during Rick's eulogy in the next episode ... more denial.


So let our OJT President sally forth with his "Oh Wonderful Me" stuff. There's always ace ... and Dale.
===================
Don't forget Terminus, the zombie apocalypse refugee center run by Obummer voters. A+ for surviving!!

Posted by: exdem13 at December 31, 2014 07:00 AM (/mTq0)

90 That help?

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2014 07:00 AM (POynn)

91 An economy growing at a record pace


May be true; I would have to go back and see how bad FDR's record depression and negative growth was.  He may have set a new record.

The longest streak of private-sector job growth on record 



And outright lie.  What little job creations has happened has either been in TX and ND by itself or has been covered by illegals.  The only reason unemployment is not listed as out the roof is because of the lying dept of labor.



The number of Americans without health insurance falling to a near record low


Another outright lie.  The number of people w/o insurance has actually grown.  And the new people are all on government subsidy.


As we said this morning he is in a different universe

Posted by: Vic[/i] at December 31, 2014 07:00 AM (u9gzs)

92 "Alex the Chick's fucking Profanity Reserve. Am i getting fucking close??" Unlike peak oil, I believe that her reserves are endless. But hey....give it a try.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at December 31, 2014 07:01 AM (4ABEx)

93 77 20 Next year I intend to divorce Michelle and marry a younger woman who can bear me more children. Posted by: exdem13 at December 31, 2014 11:58 AM (/mTq0) Lot of jokers and impersonators today. Everyone who knows me knows I'm looking for a younger man and plan to adopt. (Exclusively foreign kids, screw these red white and blue clinger crotchfruit, duh).

Posted by: Real Barry at December 31, 2014 07:01 AM (N6eLE)

94 Ya gotta admit, it was quite an accomplishment to bring America down so low.

Now can I finish eating my waffle?

Posted by: Emperor Obumbles at December 31, 2014 07:01 AM (9GG/0)

95 Im fuckin trying use up Alex the Chick's fucking Profanity Reserve. Am i getting fucking close?? Posted by: Big Fuckin Al Nope. Not since she hooked it up to the nuke plant.

Posted by: rickb223[/s][/i][/b] at December 31, 2014 07:01 AM (X1eFA)

96 "I won." "I'm frustrated with the results, but I heard all the people who didn't vote" Odd how his tone changes when he's getting his ass kicked, in both 2010 and 2014.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) And father to be bascially any day now! [/i] [/b] [/s] at December 31, 2014 07:01 AM (HDwDg)

97 If you have to explain why you are good then most likely you really aren't that good.

Posted by: Bob Belcher at December 31, 2014 07:01 AM (3jmxp)

98 He's done a fantastic job of sowing anger, hatred, violence, and discord.

Posted by: Warden at December 31, 2014 07:01 AM (bmp0d)

99 US Snooze and World Distort is running similar propaganda.



Obama Finishes 2014 on High Note



He must be in the choom again


Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 31, 2014 07:01 AM (1Jaio)

100 86 Ebola ...


My go-to question for my friends who think the Ebola issue was used by Republicans for political reasons.

1) Name the ebola tsar.

2) Name something he actually did

3) Guess the actual number of people in the US in ebola quarantine plus or minus 250.

==============

*writes questions down for future reference* 

Posted by: exdem13 at December 31, 2014 07:01 AM (/mTq0)

101 Is it wrong that I chuckled when Ace called our President, "Captain Asshole"? Heh. Captain Asshole. Remember when Ace lectured us about language?

Posted by: New Phone at December 31, 2014 07:02 AM (GzEWE)

102 Did anyone expect anything less from this guy? Posted by: navybrat at December 31, 2014 11:48 AM (JgC5a) Exactly. Teh Ewok ALWAYS fucks up the blog formatting.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 31, 2014 07:02 AM (TIIx5)

103 2015 will bring us the Employer Mandate Rebellion. Much poo will fling.

Posted by: eman at December 31, 2014 07:02 AM (MQEz6)

104 Posted by: OregonMuse at December 31, 2014 12:00 PM (DVjiu) Preezy Shitstain was doing an interview saying he didn't have to veto a lot of bills because the Senate held them up before they got to his desk. But yeah, Republican obstructionism.

Posted by: RWC - Justice for Carlton Smith!! at December 31, 2014 07:02 AM (fWAjv)

105 Barry and I cuddled all morning while watching ESPN.  Thanks to you!!

Posted by: Reggie Love at December 31, 2014 07:03 AM (QWiro)

106 In our ass-faced president's defense, all year end presentations are always spun to highlight the alleged positives and downplay or ignore the negatives. Nothing unusual about that from any organization. Barack Obama is the Matthew Stafford of presidents...

Posted by: Barry Sanders at December 31, 2014 07:03 AM (2bAiM)

107 Next year I intend to divorce Michelle and marry a younger woman who can bear me more children.

Thomas More better not stand in my way, either!

Posted by: King Barack at December 31, 2014 11:48 AM (7Kbxu)



Are they going to look like Trayvon Martin?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 31, 2014 07:03 AM (1Jaio)

108 84 " Im fuckin trying use up Alex the Chick's fucking Profanity Reserve. Am i getting fucking close??" Lemme help. Fuck. Fuck. Damn. Hell. Shit. Damnit. Crap. Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2014 11:59 AM (POynn) "Barack." The Tsar Bomba of language. There is no more shameful word among the conscious living.

Posted by: 0302 at December 31, 2014 07:03 AM (N6eLE)

109 Mr Kill, i think we fucking need more. Plus it feels go when i furkin type it for some reason. SHIT

Posted by: Big Fuckin Al at December 31, 2014 07:03 AM (OZtuG)

110 93 77 20
Next year I intend to divorce Michelle and marry a younger woman who can bear me more children.

Posted by: exdem13 at December 31, 2014 11:58 AM (/mTq0)

Lot of jokers and impersonators today. Everyone who knows me knows I'm looking for a younger man and plan to adopt. (Exclusively foreign kids, screw these red white and blue clinger crotchfruit, duh).
=====================
We have a thread winner!

Posted by: exdem13 at December 31, 2014 07:03 AM (/mTq0)

111 If I were more flexible, I would toot my own horn, IYKWIM.

Posted by: Barry Soetoro at December 31, 2014 07:03 AM (evdj2)

112 All right,  ATC, tear away with the cuss words. 

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2014 07:03 AM (POynn)

113 This narcissist goes to 11! No doubt he will make every effort to have the largest presidential library ever! And like Walt Disney at Disneyland will allow visitors to use Obama Dollars. Sick SOB!

Posted by: crazy horse at December 31, 2014 07:03 AM (qycTL)

114 Overheard at the grocery store yesterday: "So anyway, gas prices are going down because food prices are going up." "But I thought food prices went up because gas prices went up." "Yeah, maybe, who knows with this bunch" "Well, maybe now that gas prices are going down food prices will go down too." "Uproarious laughter from both parties."

Posted by: Lauren at December 31, 2014 07:04 AM (MYCIw)

115 I knew this would piss you right wing racist crackers off. And there's nothing you can do about it.
Now back to my waffle and then get in 18...so long, suckas!

Posted by: Emperor Clusterfuck I at December 31, 2014 07:04 AM (i0wGQ)

116 Here are the most important accomplishments of the Obama Administration in 2014 that you need to know: 1. Global warming has now been stopped dead in its tracks, through a combination of the administration's quiet diplomacy with China and its aggressive regulation of corporate polluters. 2. The Ukraine is now a free country, having obtained membership in the League of Nations after behind-the-scenes maneuvering by Obama himself. 3. An all-time record number of United States residents did not die of starvation this year, thanks to the efforts of Michelle Obama's "Funky Groove" school meals initiative. 4. The U.S. has now attained complete energy independence and did not import a single barrel of crude oil. There is some disagreement among leading experts as to the cause. One camp attributes the attaining of this goal to the Treaty of Guadalupe-Hidalgo, which Obama signed in 2013 and obtained Senate approval for prior to the 2014 midterm elections. The other faction of leading experts believes that credit should be given to Obama's executive order issued in 2009 decreeing that ties go to the runner.

Posted by: Matt Yglesias, Voxsplainer at December 31, 2014 07:04 AM (UlJ3l)

117 What do you expect? Politics loves a vacuum. After the November elections the Repuplicans did and said ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to capitalize on their mandate victory -- so it simply evaporated. Use it or lose it. obama and the Democrats stepped in the void and continued where they left off.

Posted by: All 2014 Soothsayers Must Go Clearance Sale! at December 31, 2014 07:04 AM (haxo2)

118 107 Next year I intend to divorce Michelle and marry a younger woman who can bear me more children.

Thomas More better not stand in my way, either!

Posted by: King Barack at December 31, 2014 11:48 AM (7Kbxu)

Are they going to look like Trayvon Martin?
==============
No, but one might have a resemblance to BIll Clinton!

Posted by: exdem13 at December 31, 2014 07:05 AM (/mTq0)

119 Economic retreat? Heck...it's just advancing in the opposite direction!

Posted by: General Barry at December 31, 2014 07:05 AM (vd4oB)

120 Remember when Ace lectured us about language? Posted by: New Phone at December 31, 2014 12:02 PM (GzEWE) There's language and then there is language.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 31, 2014 07:05 AM (W5DcG)

121 Don't forget Terminus, the zombie apocalypse refugee center run by Obummer voters. And then get smoked in a church.

Posted by: rickb223[/s][/i][/b] at December 31, 2014 07:05 AM (X1eFA)

122 101 Is it wrong that I chuckled when Ace called our President, "Captain Asshole"? I tittered.

Posted by: Citizen X-mas at December 31, 2014 07:06 AM (7ObY1)

123 As we enter into a national flu epidemic, tell me again the difference in symptoms for flu and ebola? I mean, besides the dead in two weeks part.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at December 31, 2014 07:06 AM (4ABEx)

124 Off to early work. I'll be watching y'all.

Posted by: Soona at December 31, 2014 07:06 AM (vqSqm)

125 We think he should be graded at an A-. Nothing higher.

Posted by: Ohio 8th District Voters at December 31, 2014 07:06 AM (XzRw1)

126 Remember when Ace lectured us about language?

When was this? That would have been hi-larious. It would have been like, like, like getting a lecture from Lena Dunham on chastity and waiting until marriage.

Posted by: OregonMuse at December 31, 2014 07:06 AM (DVjiu)

127 I'm willing to give him a solid A+...in being a Stuttering Clusterfuck of a Miserable Failure.

Posted by: Stu-22 at December 31, 2014 07:06 AM (vd4oB)

128 "Victors write the history books. If they don't, the losers will write the history books." -- Shih Tzu You can't come off the battlefield after a victory and say you look forward to working with your defeated opponents and then just walk away patting yourself on the back.

Posted by: All 2014 Soothsayers Must Go Clearance Sale! at December 31, 2014 07:07 AM (haxo2)

129 "So anyway, gas prices are going down because food prices are going up." huh, whut?

Posted by: --- at December 31, 2014 07:07 AM (MMC8r)

130 Im fuckin trying use up Alex the Chick's fucking Profanity Reserve. Am i getting fucking close?? Posted by: Big Fuckin Al at December 31, 2014 11:58 AM (OZtuG) That's adorable.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at December 31, 2014 07:07 AM (mf5HN)

131 85 The GOP should just not go to the State of the Union. They can read. Get the cliff notes.
==========
I want all the GOP House and Senate members to start texting or checking facebook or playing games on their phones when Obummer is speaking. 

Posted by: exdem13 at December 31, 2014 07:08 AM (/mTq0)

132 128 "Victors write the history books. If they don't, the losers will write the history books." -- Shih Tzu You can't come off the battlefield after a victory and say you look forward to working with your defeated opponents and then just walk away patting yourself on the back. Posted by: All 2014 Soothsayers Must Go Clearance Sale! at December 31, 2014 12:07 PM (haxo2) Golly, it's like the two parties ain't all that different.

Posted by: eman at December 31, 2014 07:08 AM (MQEz6)

133 Is it wrong that I chuckled when Ace called our President, "Captain Asshole"? He deserves a promotion to major.

Posted by: --- at December 31, 2014 07:08 AM (MMC8r)

134 My go-to question for my friends who think the Ebola issue was used by Republicans for political reasons. 1) Name the ebola tsar. 2) Name something he actually did 3) Guess the actual number of people in the US in ebola quarantine plus or minus 250. ============== *writes questions down for future reference* Posted by: exdem13 at December 31, 2014 12:01 PM (/mTq0) (1) Czar Ebola the Purgative I (2) Ordered embossed stationary with his motto, "I'm not seeing enough guts being puked out here!" (3) 250

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) [/i][/b][/s] at December 31, 2014 07:09 AM (bWFHa)

135 "Victors write the history books. If they don't, the losers will write the history books." -- Shih Tzu He'll yeah they will!

Posted by: General Franco at December 31, 2014 07:09 AM (3jmxp)

136 Gas prices are going down for two reasons:  (1) Demand is down because of massive unemployment (2) The market is flooded due to increases in production with a low market.


If you didn't have either one of those gas prices would still be a record HIGH levels due to worthless Obama bucks.

Posted by: Vic[/i] at December 31, 2014 07:09 AM (u9gzs)

137 I want all the GOP House and Senate members to start texting or checking facebook or playing games on their phones when Obummer is speaking. Taking selfies?

Posted by: --- at December 31, 2014 07:09 AM (MMC8r)

138 I tittered.

Posted by: Citizen X-mas at December 31, 2014 12:06 PM (7ObY1)



Frankie Howerd: Titter ye not.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 31, 2014 07:10 AM (1Jaio)

139 Got a dang, 3 shoots and a golly gee whizz if somebody is short.

Posted by: Man from Wazzustan at December 31, 2014 07:10 AM (uPxUo)

140 Im fuckin trying use up Alex the Chick's fucking Profanity Reserve. Am i getting fucking close?? Her Grace may simply demand a profanity tribute to restore the Royal Coffers in this Jubilee Year.

Posted by: toby928(C) at December 31, 2014 07:10 AM (evdj2)

141 121 Don't forget Terminus, the zombie apocalypse refugee center run by Obummer voters.

And then get smoked in a church.
===================
Symbolism! 

Posted by: exdem13 at December 31, 2014 07:10 AM (/mTq0)

142 That's odd.  I really expected  Obama to come out and talk about how  he had let us down in 2014, and vow to make up for his mistakes by working harder in the new year.


Posted by: BurtTC at December 31, 2014 07:11 AM (TOk1P)

143 I want all the GOP House and Senate members to start texting or checking facebook or playing games on their phones when Obummer is speaking. Taking selfies? Posted by: --- at December 31, 2014 12:09 PM (MMC8r) Great Googly Moogly no.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at December 31, 2014 07:11 AM (mf5HN)

144 I want all the GOP House and Senate members to start texting or checking facebook or playing games on their phones when Obummer is speaking. Posted by: exdem13 at December 31, 2014 12:08 PM (/mTq0) I want them all to play Bullshit Bingo and spare no volume in shouting out "Bullshit!" while standing up when they win.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) [/i][/b][/s] at December 31, 2014 07:11 AM (bWFHa)

145 137 I want all the GOP House and Senate members to start texting or checking facebook or playing games on their phones when Obummer is speaking. Taking selfies? Posted by: --- at December 31, 2014 12:09 PM (MMC8r) Flash mob. They should line up and do "Thriller"

Posted by: eman at December 31, 2014 07:11 AM (MQEz6)

146 " I hope we don't get a year of 4 emperors to follow this buffoon." Chief Liawatha will be much, much worse.

Posted by: despair at December 31, 2014 07:11 AM (dcY7v)

147 Is it wrong that I chuckled when Ace called our President, "Captain Asshole"? He deserves a promotion to major. Posted by: --- at December 31, 2014 12:08 PM (MMC8r) Threadwinnah!

Posted by: Jade Sea at December 31, 2014 07:11 AM (3mqP5)

148 140 Im fuckin trying use up Alex the Chick's fucking Profanity Reserve. Am i getting fucking close??

Her Grace may simply demand a profanity tribute to restore the Royal Coffers in this Jubilee Year.
===========
Wait until everyone hears Obummer is going to impose new regulations on energy production and transportation. that ought to give Herself a surplus.

Posted by: exdem13 at December 31, 2014 07:12 AM (/mTq0)

149 I think this country has an excellent chance of surviving Obama so that Hillary (Americas Most Admired Woman) will have the honor of giving the coup de grace liberals have long hoped for.

Posted by: George Orwell de Leon at December 31, 2014 07:12 AM (1BQGO)

150 133 Is it wrong that I chuckled when Ace called our President, "Captain Asshole"? He deserves a promotion to major. Posted by: --- at December 31, 2014 12:08 PM (MMC8r) ---- And then we can throw him in a harmless staff position up at regiment where he makes PowerPoints nobody looks at without any real influence and only one borderline suicidal staff NCO as a subordinate. Let's frock him ASAP!

Posted by: 0302 at December 31, 2014 07:12 AM (N6eLE)

151 Yeah, about that "breakthrough." More like thru thin ice over the Mariannas Trench. It's sea nymphs all the way down.

Posted by: Count de Monet at December 31, 2014 07:12 AM (JO9+V)

152 News told me gas tax in PA goes up a dime per gallon starting tomorrow.

Posted by: votermom [/i] at December 31, 2014 07:12 AM (cbfNE)

153 Perfect, just what you were aiming for, Captain Asshole. I larfed, I did.

Posted by: Insomniac at December 31, 2014 07:12 AM (2Ojst)

154 " That's odd. I really expected Obama to come out and talk about how he had let us down in 2014, and vow to make up for his mistakes by working harder in the new year." I'm guessing that your conditions of continuing employment do not require random urinalysis. J/K

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at December 31, 2014 07:12 AM (4ABEx)

155 Chief Liawatha will be much, much worse. Posted by: despair -------------- If she gets voted in by the LIV / FSA, then there always is Cuba. They don't hide the communism there and the weather is nicer.

Posted by: Roy at December 31, 2014 07:13 AM (fWLrt)

156 Remember when Ace lectured us about language? When was this? That would have been hi-larious. It would have been like, like, like getting a lecture from Lena Dunham on chastity and waiting until marriage. Posted by: OregonMuse at December 31, 2014 12:06 PM (DVjiu) I believe that Teh Ewok's fucking point wasn't that profanity was out of the fucking question, just that the shit shouldn't be fucking used gratuitously. If it's an essential part of the fucking joke, he's generally okay with the shit, just keep in mind that the blog's fucking ad revenue is dependent on keeping the fuckity fucks off the main fucking page so he can expand his fucking list of fucking advertisers. Of course, we could go a long ways towards easing his fucking mind if we drop fucking dollars into his fucking PayPal. That's a fucking idea. NEW YEARS HORDE PLEDGE DRIVE. Keep Teh Ewok hip deep in kibble. And for goodness sake, give him a bath and flea dip.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 31, 2014 07:14 AM (TIIx5)

157 I... I really still just can't process this. How do you argue with someone who so obviously lives in an alternate reality? How do you even take anything they say seriously? Even were his numbers correct (oh, by the by, they're not), they are so obviously measuring the wrong things that anyone who has completed 6th grade (well, prior to Common Core, anyway) should be able to understand that none of the things he's saying are actually good things.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 31, 2014 07:14 AM (kff5f)

158 "I hope we don't get a year of 4 emperors to follow this buffoon." Chief Liawatha will be much, much worse. How.

Posted by: rickb223[/s][/i][/b] at December 31, 2014 07:14 AM (X1eFA)

159 That's that name, don't wear it out.

Posted by: Fuck at December 31, 2014 07:15 AM (evdj2)

160 "How." Depends

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at December 31, 2014 07:15 AM (4ABEx)

161 Headline at Drudge says "Federal Student Loan Debt Tops $800 billion". Well, now we know which impending financial crisis is gonna wreck us to elect-the-Nazis levels.

Posted by: exdem13 at December 31, 2014 07:15 AM (/mTq0)

162 My wife is annoyed at me. I told her there weren't many people at the office yesterday so I bought everybody coffee because the time to be generous is when it doesn't cost very much. She told me my joke was mean.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at December 31, 2014 07:15 AM (LImiJ)

163 And how.

Posted by: All 2014 Soothsayers Must Go Clearance Sale! at December 31, 2014 07:15 AM (haxo2)

164 Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 31, 2014 12:14 PM (TIIx5) That was fucking beautiful. Pure fucking poetry.

Posted by: Citizen X-mas at December 31, 2014 07:16 AM (7ObY1)

165 Also, I'm on the "no insurance (as measured by the government) for anyone" bandwagon. Everyone should move to health care co-ops (like Christian Health Ministries- but there are other more... AoSHQ Lifestyle friendly options). Why? Just to f*ck with el JEFfe.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 31, 2014 07:16 AM (kff5f)

166 Fuck it.

Posted by: Fuck at December 31, 2014 07:16 AM (evdj2)

167 154 -

I've been  a practicing  Sarcastinator  for years now.  If my snotty  snideness is  NOT  patently obvious, that's when  they have me drug tested. 

Posted by: BurtTC at December 31, 2014 07:16 AM (TOk1P)

168 All you 'ettes that are here today check out the sweater dress that Amazon is pushing on their "deals" today.  But remember if you get one you must post pics.  Be sure to read the reviews first though.


(And the male Morons may want to check it out too on this hawt babe)


http://is.gd/4Qyv4R

Posted by: Vic[/i] at December 31, 2014 07:16 AM (u9gzs)

169 I want all the GOP House and Senate members to start texting or checking facebook or playing games on their phones when Obummer is speaking. Posted by: exdem13 Go to the SOTU address, sit quietly, golf clap when appropriate. No standing for applause for Obama. Do not put up some lame response. Next day start to tear this shit down. Make him veto until he gets a cramp in his widdle hand. Make him take a stand. Make the "Media" go nuts tearing the Republicans apart. Actions speak louder than words. Of course, this is not what will happen.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative.... after dark at December 31, 2014 07:16 AM (+1T7c)

170 My golf game? A+++.

Posted by: Prez'nit 404 at December 31, 2014 07:17 AM (Dwehj)

171 *high fives my CHM buddy*

Posted by: Lauren at December 31, 2014 07:17 AM (MYCIw)

172 Posted by: Citizen X-mas at December 31, 2014 12:16 PM (7ObY1) Awwwwwww, fucking shucks. (ace, please don't ban me)

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 31, 2014 07:17 AM (TIIx5)

173 Chief Liawatha will be much, much worse. How. - Speak with forked tongue.

Posted by: The Great White Snark at December 31, 2014 07:17 AM (LImiJ)

174 Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 31, 2014 12:14 PM (TIIx5) Were I capable of actual human emotion, that would have brought a tear to my eye.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at December 31, 2014 07:17 AM (mf5HN)

175 162 My wife is annoyed at me. I told her there weren't many people at the office yesterday so I bought everybody coffee because the time to be generous is when it doesn't cost very much. She told me my joke was mean. Posted by: The Great White Snark at December 31, 2014 12:15 PM (LImiJ) I'd say that your joke was only average.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) [/i][/b][/s] at December 31, 2014 07:17 AM (bWFHa)

176 All of us down at the Brattleboro Women's Reproductive Health Choice Clinic are proud of President Obama for saving this country from the perils of Bush. Good job to are President of Color. We love you and have fun in Hawaii with Michelle and your beautfiul children of color.

Posted by: Mary Clogginstein From Brattleboro,VT at December 31, 2014 07:17 AM (Sd++4)

177 If the Pelosi Theorem is correct about rising gasoline prices--that they are the result of the greed of the big oil companies, then surely the falling prices are the result of the generosity of the big oil companies. Try this one out on your LIV friends. The blank, uncomprehending stares give cows a run for their money.

Posted by: Furious George at December 31, 2014 07:18 AM (UlJ3l)

178 Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 31, 2014 12:14 PM (TIIx5)

Actually, Ace made a very reasonable request that we limit the use of the word "fcuk" to those times that it was absolutely necessary. It was because of the bots that count its use and report the numbers to ad companies.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 31, 2014 07:18 AM (Zu3d9)

179 2015, the year of Peak Profanity.

Posted by: OG Celtic-American, SingleMaltScotchGender at December 31, 2014 07:19 AM (ojfYH)

180 My wife is annoyed at me. I told her there weren't many people at the office yesterday so I bought everybody coffee because the time to be generous is when it doesn't cost very much. She told me my joke was mean. Posted by: The Great White Snark at December 31, 2014 12:15 PM (LImiJ) As a friend of mine says, it's the least I can do. And I always do the least I can do.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at December 31, 2014 07:19 AM (mf5HN)

181 i would prefer our represntatives be outwardly polite , and then be ruthless as hell.

Posted by: willow at December 31, 2014 07:19 AM (nqBYe)

182 I'm too good for you and you don't deserve me. But I can live with that. There's no need to thank me.

Posted by: Emperor Clusterfuck I at December 31, 2014 07:19 AM (i0wGQ)

183 Meanwhile, most of my mutual funds are down for the year, thanks to the collapse of oil and the ruble.... By my broker made out like a bandit!

Posted by: wizardpc at December 31, 2014 07:19 AM (0zvYv)

184 If she gets voted in by the LIV / FSA, then there always is Cuba. They don't hide the communism there and the weather is nicer.

***

Plus I hear the cigars rule.

Posted by: cool arrow at December 31, 2014 07:19 AM (7XKHI)

185
You a fun killer?
Posted by: Ricardo Kill


Yeah, she's a square.  Lame.


Posted by: T. Jeff. at December 31, 2014 07:19 AM (/Ho8c)

186 Posted by: Lauren at December 31, 2014 12:17 PM (MYCIw) I think I've managed to convince a couple other members of the Horde to join up, too. When compared against a High Deductible plan, it's really equal coverage (more or less) for less money.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 31, 2014 07:19 AM (kff5f)

187 Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 31, 2014 12:00 PM (4CVLy) Better one: Explain why we needed an ebola czar instead of the HHS deputy secretary who already had the job of "emergency preparedness" (Position created by Bush II)

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) And father to be bascially any day now! [/i] [/b] [/s] at December 31, 2014 07:19 AM (HDwDg)

188 You do expect any Administration to put the best spin on their year end report card but if you're not a LIV you don't expect your President to blow smoke up your ass because he thinks he's above it all.

Posted by: Bob Belcher at December 31, 2014 07:20 AM (3jmxp)

189 157 -

Nonsense.  If Stalin taught these people  anything, it's not to live in a denial of reality, it's to speak  ONLY  in lies, because their  supporters   live  in an  alternate reality, and their opponents are too confounded by the blatant lies to do anything about them. 

Posted by: BurtTC at December 31, 2014 07:20 AM (TOk1P)

190 oh and will they get it the mfmfkers! a tribute to alex. re pours tea.

Posted by: willow at December 31, 2014 07:20 AM (nqBYe)

191 I would cackle like Hillary if the SotU went all Korean Parliament.

Posted by: toby928(C) at December 31, 2014 07:20 AM (evdj2)

192 Chief Liawatha will be much, much worse. Posted by: despair And we will look back in fond remembrance on the days of Obama as.....The Good Old Days. Worse, how? Liawatha does not play golf to distract her from mendacious socialist corruption.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative.... after dark at December 31, 2014 07:20 AM (+1T7c)

193 History will show that in 2014 Repuplicans won graciously.

Posted by: All 2014 Soothsayers Must Go Clearance Sale! at December 31, 2014 07:20 AM (haxo2)

194 The man is like marmalade. 

The rest of you, however, are just moldy bread crust.

Posted by: Fritz at December 31, 2014 07:21 AM (dVmLD)

195 All you 'ettes that are here today check out the sweater dress that Amazon is pushing on their "deals" today. But remember if you get one you must post pics. Be sure to read the reviews first though.

Heh. Looks like on of those dresses the woman needs a can opener to get into.

Posted by: OregonMuse at December 31, 2014 07:21 AM (DVjiu)

196 175 -

I don't like this mode of humor. 

Posted by: BurtTC at December 31, 2014 07:21 AM (TOk1P)

197 He says it, the media report it...people believe it! That simple.

What do the R's have to say...NOTHING...keep your head down.

Posted by: getonwidit at December 31, 2014 07:21 AM (TiTon)

198
Plus I hear the cigars rule.

Posted by: cool arrow at December 31, 2014 12:19 PM (7XKHI)




Slick Willie: I got me a special humidor for them

Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 31, 2014 07:21 AM (1Jaio)

199 Well Obama will go full ahead with increased regulations to drive up the price of domestic oil, with a win/win of increasing gas prices and making foreign oil more attractive, thus hurting both the middle class and people employed by domestic energy companies.

Posted by: brak at December 31, 2014 07:21 AM (Tj+s6)

200 188 You do expect any Administration to put the best spin on their year end report card... Posted by: Bob Belcher at December 31, 2014 12:20 PM (3jmxp) Sure, but this is the spinning dreidel of suck.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) [/i][/b][/s] at December 31, 2014 07:21 AM (bWFHa)

201 And I always do the least I can do.

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at December 31, 2014 12:19 PM (mf5HN)

And yet from your perspective everything looks so big and grand!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 31, 2014 07:22 AM (Zu3d9)

202 195  Heh. Looks like on of those dresses the woman needs a can opener to get into.

Posted by: OregonMuse at December 31, 2014 12:21 PM (DVjiu)


Did you read the reviews the women who bought it wrote?

Posted by: Vic[/i] at December 31, 2014 07:22 AM (u9gzs)

203 kicks cbsdildo for alex.

Posted by: willow at December 31, 2014 07:22 AM (nqBYe)

204 It's always either not making the case or racism. His universal truths are just universal.

Posted by: Chupacabras at December 31, 2014 07:23 AM (l2max)

205 I don't like this mode of humor. Posted by: BurtTC at December 31, 2014 12:21 PM (TOk1P) Great. Here come the statistics puns. Of course, I think your position is skewed.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 31, 2014 07:23 AM (kff5f)

206 196 175 - I don't like this mode of humor. Posted by: BurtTC at December 31, 2014 12:21 PM (TOk1P) Your homoscedasticity is showing...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) [/i][/b][/s] at December 31, 2014 07:23 AM (bWFHa)

207 195 looks like Sheldon's Doppler Effect Halloween costume

Posted by: votermom [/i] at December 31, 2014 07:23 AM (cbfNE)

208 I'm about to do something never done before. I still have a few slices of cheesecake left, but I'm tossing them. But before I do, I will drop one slice into my protein and oats shake I'm about to blend.

Posted by: All 2014 Soothsayers Must Go Clearance Sale! at December 31, 2014 07:24 AM (haxo2)

209 I still have a few slices of cheesecake left, but I'm tossing them. Burn the heretic! Save the cheesecake!

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 31, 2014 07:24 AM (kff5f)

210 You come across an economy on it's back, belly baking in the hot sun, struggling to right itself, but it can't. And you're not helping it, Barry. Why is that?

Posted by: Detective Holden at December 31, 2014 07:24 AM (evdj2)

211 Explain why we needed an ebola czar instead of the HHS deputy secretary who already had the job of "emergency preparedness" (Position created by Bush II) Posted by: tsrblke, PhD Not politically reliable. May somehow say something truthful at a key moment.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative.... after dark at December 31, 2014 07:24 AM (+1T7c)

212 A statistician is a mathematician broken down by age and sex (stolen)

Posted by: willow at December 31, 2014 07:25 AM (nqBYe)

213 BTW. We need to talk about the rape culture at NPR

Posted by: ThunderB at December 31, 2014 07:25 AM (1DCvM)

214 The number of Americans without health insurance falling to a near record low...

Funny how that happened...it's almost like if you mandate something, including a huge penalty for not getting it and subsidies to pay for it, you get it. Winning!

Posted by: Lizzy [/i] at December 31, 2014 07:26 AM (ABcz/)

215 I saw Spinning Dreidel of Suck open for Frank Zappa and The Mothers, The Roxy, L.A. 1975

Posted by: Citizen X-mas at December 31, 2014 07:26 AM (7ObY1)

216 Oh. My god. TFG has a Vorbis mind.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 31, 2014 07:26 AM (kff5f)

217 205 -

You know that eventually every one of these threads is a linear regression. 

Posted by: BurtTC at December 31, 2014 07:26 AM (TOk1P)

218 "And I don't think we -- myself, and the Democratic Party -- made as good of a case as we should have."


Oh hell yes, Barky. You make a perfect case, or would, if Pathological Narcissism was still on the books as a mental illness.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 31, 2014 07:26 AM (mtmZ0)

219 I bet he smoked a lot of cigars this year. ****************** So did I!

Posted by: Lena Dunham at December 31, 2014 07:27 AM (RGTTl)

220 Chocolate ration has been increased again? The Party really is doing a great job.  Next year is going to be even more awesome.

Posted by: LIV Douchbag at December 31, 2014 07:27 AM (1BQGO)

221 This jerkoff is a clown that we have to endure for two more years. I just hope he doesn't get any more Supreme Court picks. I can't believe I'm saying this but Stay strong Ginsburg, stay strong.

Posted by: Kreplach at December 31, 2014 07:27 AM (HFRZF)

222 Funny how that happened...it's almost like if you mandate something, including a huge penalty for not getting it and subsidies to pay for it, you get it. Winning! Posted by: Lizzy ........and this is how Republics die. Not with a bang, but with a whimper and a dumb statistic.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative.... after dark at December 31, 2014 07:27 AM (+1T7c)

223 Planning a backpacking trip for next summer. My favorite way to spend a cold winter day. Rocky Mountain Nat'l park. I f'ing love Colorado, and The Rockies in general. Maybe it's because it's so flat where I live.

Posted by: Citizen X-mas at December 31, 2014 07:27 AM (7ObY1)

224 217 205 - You know that eventually every one of these threads is a linear regression. Posted by: BurtTC at December 31, 2014 12:26 PM (TOk1P) Yes, eventually we all regress to the mean... then we cheerfully move on to "cruel"

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) [/i][/b][/s] at December 31, 2014 07:27 AM (bWFHa)

225 I bet he smoked a lot of cigars this year. ****************** So did I! ************** No she didnt.

Posted by: Single Straight and Sober Dudes Everywhere at December 31, 2014 07:27 AM (RGTTl)

226 You know that eventually every one of these threads is a linear regression.

More like a degenerate series, I'd say.

Posted by: OregonMuse at December 31, 2014 07:28 AM (DVjiu)

227 All you 'ettes that are here today check out the sweater dress that Amazon is pushing on their "deals" today. But remember if you get one you must post pics. Be sure to read the reviews first though. (And the male Morons may want to check it out too on this hawt babe) http://is.gd/4Qyv4R Posted by: Vic at December 31, 2014 12:16 PM (u9gzs) The Good: It's see-through. The Bad: It's only obvious in one photo (rear view of the Black/Ivory dress) The Ugly: The hawt chick's wearing granny-panties.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 31, 2014 07:28 AM (TIIx5)

228 During the interview, did they mention Joe Biden wandering around the white house singing "All about that paste!"?

Posted by: Blanco Basura at December 31, 2014 07:28 AM (UVfht)

229 You know, that Ben Domenech article at The Federalist has so much horse shit in it you could fertilize my whole farm with it. I am neutral on cops mostly. I've known good ones, and serious chickenshits in uniform, just like anywhere else. Being a cop is a thankless job, and you have to deal with subhuman scum mostly. The good ones know the difference twixt good people and criminals, and the others don't. They are chickenshit because they get the attitude everyone is a criminal. They shouldn't be cops, and there are thousands of bad cops. On the other hand DeBlasio is a serious asshole and an imbecile, and them telling him and the idiots who elected him to go get bent is understandable, even justified. Domenech says the military doesn't like the Shitweasel in Chief, but they don't disrespect him (in public) but here is a clue Mr. Domenech, Soldiers WILL rebel, and have done so many times in the past, so your premise is not worth the extrusions of a rat's ass.

Posted by: maddogg at December 31, 2014 07:28 AM (xWW96)

230 We're fooling ourselves if we think during the SOTU the GOP will do anything other than sit there and clap like the drunken seals that they are. They are fucking worthless drunken seals.

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at December 31, 2014 07:29 AM (XzRw1)

231 Hey, I grew up right on the edge of Rocky Mountain Nat'l Park! You should also check out the flat tops in Yampa.

Posted by: Lauren at December 31, 2014 07:29 AM (MYCIw)

232 >>>Explain why we needed an ebola czar instead of the HHS deputy secretary who already had the job of "emergency preparedness" (Position created by Bush II) ------------- Because shut up, peasant.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at December 31, 2014 07:29 AM (CzBeD)

233 oh and will they get it the mfmfkers! a tribute to alex. re pours tea. Posted by: willow at December 31, 2014 12:20 PM (nqBYe) Oh no! I've corrupted willow!

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD/Orion Death Star 2016 at December 31, 2014 07:29 AM (mf5HN)

234 The NOOD... Should I mention the NOOD yet?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at December 31, 2014 07:30 AM (4ABEx)

235 We're fooling ourselves if we think during the SOTU the GOP will do anything other than sit there and clap like the drunken seals that they are. Well isn't it a good thing that most of us don't think that?

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 31, 2014 07:30 AM (kff5f)

236 Does anyone have aqny pictures of Presdent and Micheale Obama during their vacation to Hawaii to post on this website?

Posted by: Mary Clogginstein From Brattleboro,VT at December 31, 2014 07:30 AM (Sd++4)

237 " The longest streak of private-sector job growth on record;" ------------------- And yet..., and yet..., fewer Americans are working now then when he took office. Mystifying it is.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, twirling a pencil at December 31, 2014 07:30 AM (F2IAQ)

238 226 -

Hey, deviants gotta deviate.

It's  standard. 

Posted by: BurtTC at December 31, 2014 07:30 AM (TOk1P)

239 All you 'ettes that are here today check out the sweater dress that Amazon is pushing on their "deals" today. ************************* I love how some of the obvious female commenters call this dress "cute" while morons would call it "edible" instead. It IS edible, right?

Posted by: Captain Shagballs with a Rapist Wit at December 31, 2014 07:31 AM (RGTTl)

240 231 Hey, I grew up right on the edge of Rocky Mountain Nat'l Park! You should also check out the flat tops in Yampa. Thanks for the tip, Lauren. I so love that whole area. Waking up in camp in the mountains and perking up a pot of coffee over the fire is like Heaven to me.

Posted by: Citizen X-mas at December 31, 2014 07:31 AM (7ObY1)

241 Unger the alleged rapists dad, well he helped launch The Daily Show. NPR has been all over this fake college rape crisis Oh. This is delicious. Someone needs to follow up on this

Posted by: ThunderB at December 31, 2014 07:31 AM (1DCvM)

242 Concerted action to prevent sexual assaults on college campuses

Seriously, he counts this as one of his top accomplishments?
Is this even really his responsibility as president - reducing campus sexual assault? And it's not even an *actual* epidemic, just a made-up one for feminist activists. And he's saying he's accomplished something bu making a "concerted effort".

Wow, I'll have to try that one out on my next annual review. "Made a concerted effort to [solve an imaginary problem, w/imaginary results]."


Posted by: Lizzy [/i] at December 31, 2014 07:31 AM (ABcz/)

243 alex, righteous terminology is a positive when appropriately used.

Posted by: willow at December 31, 2014 07:32 AM (nqBYe)

244 He must grade on a curve, and use all the other commies as peers.

Posted by: ALH at December 31, 2014 07:32 AM (yAPdC)

245 230 We're fooling ourselves if we think during the SOTU the GOP will do anything other than sit there and clap like the drunken seals that they are. They are fucking worthless drunken seals. ------------ Issshh a rare opportunity for biped- biped-bipedpartisanship. *hic*

Posted by: John Boehner at December 31, 2014 07:32 AM (CzBeD)

246 ......but here is a clue Mr. Domenech, Soldiers WILL rebel, and have done so many times in the past, so your premise is not worth the extrusions of a rat's ass. Posted by: maddogg The police in NYC are union (unlike soldiers, sailors, Marines....yet), and this is largely a union action by cops. Funny how this is working; a usually reliable Democrat operation is revolting against Soviet Bill. Plenty of rumors flying that Soviet Bill wants to simultaneously make peace and use his surrogates to criticize and attack the NYPD and president of the union.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative.... after dark at December 31, 2014 07:34 AM (+1T7c)

247 You know, that Ben Domenech article at The Federalist has so much horse shit in it you could fertilize my whole farm with it.

I agree. Domenech says that NYPD's attitude toward the idiot mayor constitutes a "threat to democracy".  Seriously? Hyperbole we much, Ben?

And I, too, thought his comparing it to the military made no sense whatsoever.


Posted by: OregonMuse at December 31, 2014 07:34 AM (DVjiu)

248 In my considered opinion, Barack Obama is a fucking shithead.

Posted by: Head Football Coach Howard Schnellenberger at December 31, 2014 07:35 AM (fMSaY)

249 Read an article the other day that said that the 5% economic growth reported for 2014 was almost entirely due to increased health care spending forced by Obamacare. Some great achievement, eh?

Posted by: TrivialPursuer at December 31, 2014 07:35 AM (2ruKl)

250 "It's a beautiful thing, the Destruction of words...It isn't only the synonyms; there are also the antonyms. After all, what justification is there for a word, which is simply the opposite of some other word? A word contains its opposite in itself. Take 'good' for instance. If you have a word like 'good', what need is there for a word like bad? 'Ungood' will do just as well -- better, because it's an exact opposite, which the other is not. Or gain, if you want a stronger version of 'good' what sense is there in having a stronger version of 'good'?... 'Plusgood' covers the meaning or 'doublesplus good' if you want something stronger still...Don't you see the beauty of that, Winston?"

Posted by: Orwell at December 31, 2014 07:36 AM (Xv7f/)

251 Of course, Citizen X. There are a lot of really pretty areas all over Routt county. I miss it. The people are kind of crazy though...

Posted by: Lauren at December 31, 2014 07:36 AM (MYCIw)

252 Does anyone have aqny pictures of Presdent and Micheale Obama during their vacation to Hawaii to post on this website? Posted by: Mary ------------------- Mary, As you probably understand, we can not allow such pictures to be promulgated on the internet. Right-wing extremists, such as the Tea Party, would use them to promote the distorted view that The President and his lovely wife are feckless, self-absorbed, hypocritical, hedonists, indifferent to the well-being of the country. I assure you The President and Mrs. Obama have had a wonderful time on their well-earned vacation. Best Regards, Bob at NSA

Posted by: Mike Hammer, twirling a pencil at December 31, 2014 07:37 AM (F2IAQ)

253 And I, too, thought his comparing it to the military made no sense whatsoever. Posted by: OregonMuse This is what is commonly known as a 'straw man' argument. Create something flimsy, and then look manly knocking it down. Stay manly, Ben. You bitch.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative.... after dark at December 31, 2014 07:37 AM (+1T7c)

254 @Bossy Conservative....

Not a rumor, there was an article in the NY Post about it.  Sounds like DeBlosio move.

Posted by: Penfold at December 31, 2014 07:37 AM (Fbt5B)

255 Man, remember when we didn't have a festering shit of an America-hater as President?  And when the Press at least PRETENDED not to be Democrats with bylines?

Good times.  Good times.

Posted by: acethepug at December 31, 2014 07:38 AM (37xk6)

256 Not a rumor, there was an article in the NY Post about it. Sounds like DeBlosio move. Posted by: Penfold Well, I don't live anywhere near NYC, so it all seems like some kind of folklore to me.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative.... after dark at December 31, 2014 07:39 AM (+1T7c)

257 Read an article the other day that said that the 5% economic growth reported for 2014 was almost entirely due to increased health care spending forced by Obamacare. Some great achievement, eh? Posted by: TrivialPursuer ------------- Public Sector spending in general. Not so many stories about the 'unsustainable' GDP/Debt ratio.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, twirling a pencil at December 31, 2014 07:40 AM (F2IAQ)

258 I can't wait until black people feel free to stop having to defend this douche. The deluge will be insane.

Posted by: AmishDude at December 31, 2014 07:41 AM (L2xDv)

259 I can't wait until black people feel free to stop having to defend this douche. The deluge will be insane. Posted by: Amish --------------- That will never happen.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, twirling a pencil at December 31, 2014 07:43 AM (F2IAQ)

260 Does anyone have any pictures of Presdent and Micheale Obama during their vacation to Hawaii to post on this website?
Posted by: Mary

Are you talking about their 17 days of field work dedicated to feeding the hungry, healing the sick, comforting afflicted and fighting for justice?  Doesn't sound like a vacation to me.

Posted by: George Orwell de Leon at December 31, 2014 07:43 AM (1BQGO)

261

Posted by: AmishDude at December 31, 2014 12:41 PM (L2xDv)

 

 

 

 

Heh. Drinking already?

Posted by: maddogg at December 31, 2014 07:44 AM (xWW96)

262 Didn't the NYPD union endorse de Blasio before he was elected? I thought so.

Posted by: navybrat at December 31, 2014 07:44 AM (JgC5a)

263 Such self-aggrandizing was funnier when Milo Minderbinder said it.

Posted by: Lit Major at December 31, 2014 07:44 AM (Xv7f/)

264 He forgot unemployment is DOWN! Except for the 3 million not trying to find work.

Posted by: joe dagostino at December 31, 2014 07:44 AM (5vRRq)

265 262 Didn't the NYPD union endorse de Blasio before he was elected?

Of course they did.

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at December 31, 2014 07:45 AM (XzRw1)

266 I don't think what the cops of the NYPD are doing is a union organism. I think they are acting on individual initiative (and hatred for DeBlaBla). He threw them under the bus so they are returning the favor.

Posted by: maddogg at December 31, 2014 07:48 AM (xWW96)

267 *imagining*

Mmmm. Sweater dress pics.

Wonder if it comes sized for Barbie dolls for AtC?

Posted by: T. Jeff. at December 31, 2014 07:49 AM (/Ho8c)

268 This shitheel is a perfect example of why it's important to be a good parent. Broken kids usually grow up to be broken adults who have the capacity to do great harm if they gain positions of power. This asshole is so fucked up, so wretchedly incapable of doing anything but lie, cheat, and destroy what better men have built. I'd almost feel sorry for this guy if he wasn't such a smug, hateful prick. His soul is truly lost.

Posted by: Warden at December 31, 2014 07:50 AM (bmp0d)

269 165 Also, Everyone should move to health care co-ops (like Christian Health Ministries- but there are other more... AoSHQ Lifestyle friendly options). Why? Just to f*ck with el JEFfe. Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at December 31, 2014 12:16 PM (kff5f) Where's weird Dave? He can setup "The Hopper Healthcare Ministry" to serve the Ewok congregation that's down with the whole valurite, stogies, butter & sex lifestyle.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at December 31, 2014 07:53 AM (m86fE)

270

Obama is not chiding himself for the midterms; he's really blaming the stupid voters who voted Republicans or those who didn't vote at all.

 

Seriously - he can never identify a fault of himself.  At best, his fault is not being able to explain himself properly to stupid people.  Which is not faulting himself, but indirectly faulting the hoi polloi for being so dumb.


It's hard being the smartest man on the planet.

 

Fore!

Posted by: MacGruber at December 31, 2014 07:55 AM (S+el1)

271 Heh. Drinking already? Posted by: maddogg at December 31, 2014 12:44 PM (xWW96) Wait until he leaves office.

Posted by: AmishDude at December 31, 2014 08:00 AM (L2xDv)

272 When I briefly resided in NYC I was told "vote however you like, but register as a Democrat". I did not follow that advice.

Posted by: navybrat at December 31, 2014 08:03 AM (JgC5a)

273 2 reasons why GDP looks good

1. Unprecedented GDP manipulation: see zero hedge http://bit.ly/1wi2RAB
2. Oil prices - no thanks to Obama who is making moves to regulate domestic production now


Posted by: matt foley at December 31, 2014 08:29 AM (ES9kw)

274 sock off

Posted by: Ed Anger at December 31, 2014 08:41 AM (RcpcZ)

275 If the media had any pride or dignity wouldn't they be calling this man batshit crazy?

Posted by: Northernlurker at December 31, 2014 08:49 AM (aBCu6)

276 "We were so f****king wonderful we just plain forgot to tell everyone just how wonderful we were!" -- B. Obama, SECRET Lightworker

Posted by: Richard McEnroe at December 31, 2014 08:50 AM (BH9VK)

277 ... and those Veterans who didn't make it to their faux appointments ...

Posted by: Che Guevara at December 31, 2014 09:02 AM (e8kgV)

278 Is that why he lost the house and senate at historic levels?

Posted by: StrinaM at December 31, 2014 09:08 AM (/WYy+)

279 This just in: a broad, scientifically based study of randomly selected people, by a prestigious institution of higher learning no less, finds that stupid and incompetent people are incapable of understanding that they are stupid and incompetent. http://youtu.be/wvVPdyYeaQU

Posted by: steve walsh at December 31, 2014 09:16 AM (MWt2Y)

280 By "record", what he means is a record  as compared to his own shitty performance.  Last week I set a record for sleeping on my couch, besting my previous record by a full nine seconds.  I also  set a record on my income, earning a full 3% mroe than last years record.

Posted by: Dr. McCoy at December 31, 2014 10:03 AM (AEmBy)

281 SCOAMF is at 48% and the media are about to shit themselves over it. Gas prices are lower, and not because of him. That's all.

Posted by: Reggie1971 at December 31, 2014 12:17 PM (S11Oq)

282 He has gotten everything he wants. You cannot think Obama wants good for America. He wants nothing short of an overthrow of the system, and he is getting that.

Posted by: Mekan at December 31, 2014 01:06 PM (qzUCm)

283 It's always something about they did not get their message out well when they get trounced. No, we got the memo that the Democrats and the POTUS are evil socialists/progressives and want to harm American and solidify their power, so thus the November elections repudiate all of their approaches.

Posted by: Braden Lynch at December 31, 2014 02:47 PM (Yu9cJ)

284

Caption for the picture at the link:

 

"I thought I told you to stop risin'!  Don't make me come out there..."

Posted by: Ray Van Dune at December 31, 2014 03:23 PM (6rLSO)

285 So... He meant to do that?

Posted by: TLab743 at January 01, 2015 04:49 AM (/wg2w)

286 Ace gave himself an A+? That's how I read it. Obama flunked out long ago, not even graded anymore.

Posted by: petunia at January 01, 2015 06:50 AM (M1eBo)

287 Just remember, Obama uses Common Core math. So the answer doesn't have to be correct, as long as you use the proper indoctrination process.

Posted by: Safetyguy at January 02, 2015 07:41 AM (VbNM4)

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