April 29, 2014

Now Here's a Bunch of Geek Sh*t That Even I Don't Care About
— Ace

So, Marvel is going to kill one of its most money-making properties, Wolverine.

It's so terrible watching your heroes die: Jason Todd, aka the second Robin. Superman. Then the Flash died. Then Green Lantern died. Then Batman died. Then Captain America died.

Somewhat recently Peter Parker died. Doc Ock took over his body and began acting as "The Superior Spider-Man" for a year and a half.

They all died for about, oh, I don't know, about 12-18 months.* Then they all got better. It was like a miracle or something.

But I'm sure Wolverine's like Really Dead Now.

Who cares? Seriously. No one buys this anymore. I don't mind stunts, but do a different stunt.

Speaking of things which are Almost But Not Quite Dead: here's the cast of the new Star Wars movie.

I don't know why this is "news," except that it's now "confirmed," but we knew the oldsters would be back for this for like half a year.

I guess there's some new information, like that actors you never heard of will be playing characters you never heard of.

That's actually my favorite phase of any publicity campaign for a Star Wars movie: When the producers make Major Announcements, like, I don't know, "Steve Coogan will be playing galactic garbage inspector Flizz Flazzkran." Or, "Morgan Freeman will be playing Jedi Consular Uha Umuutua."

I always love that part, where the media is compelled to report these absurd names as if it means anything except to action-figure sculptors. Breaking news: Patton Oswald will be playing Gloopo Glornick.

From the What Could Have Been Great But Is Really Meh Department, a gymnast puts on a Spiderman costume and then films himself... mostly climbing fire escapes.

I'm not really that impressed by Spiderman climbing a fire escape. I can climb a fire escape. What else you got?

Oh, he does do a few impressive things, but if you're expecting some serious climbing or free running, well, here's some good news at least: Bruce Boxleitner will have a cameo role as Alderaan Alderman Ailek Attari.

Here's something mildly interesting -- mildly -- but geeks have known this for a year: The upcoming Avengers 2 will feature a super-speed mutant named Quicksilver, pictured here.

And the X-Men: Days of Future Past trailer also features a speedy mutant named Quicksilver.

Yeah, it's the same character. Apparently Quicksilver began as an evil mutant, but soon joined the Avengers as a hero. Later he got retconned as the son of Magneto.

So, as far as the IP, Marvel takes the position that while Fox may use the character as part of the rights it bought when it bought the X-Men rights, they also can use Quicksilver (and his mutant sister, the Scarlet Witch), owing to the fact that those two were long-time Avengers.

So, Quicksilver (a Flash ripoff no one cares about, really) is now in two movies.

I think Josh Wheedon is avoiding calling Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch "mutants," because that directly implicates the X-Men IP package, and won't say Magneto is their dad.

In the post-credit thing in the Captain America movie, they implied (without stating) that their powers arose from that glowing blue Tesseract McGuffin.

Yeah I don't really care either, honestly. Of all the characters to get the big-screen treatment in not one but two tentpole films... Quicksilver, The Man With No Name Recognition.

Fifteen years ago, if I told you that superhero movies would be so popular that there would be not one but two competing movie franchises featuring Quicksilver, you would have... well you probably would have ignored me and told me to lose weight.

Incidentally, Marvel's position that if a character has been in the comic-book Avengers, he can appear in an Avengers movie, is kind of legally menacing: Because almost all these characters have been Avengers, including Spiderman and Wolverine.

So they're just throwin' that out there, you know.

Why No, I'm Not Kidding: Archie is also slated to die in a couple of months.

fullarchiecover.jpg

Yup. They've got like five tricks.

This won't even been the stupidest stunt they've done with Archie.

* Jason Todd and the Flash stayed dead for longer, because no one really cared about them. People did not like the second Robin and affirmatively voted in a poll to kill him (or, that is, to have Joker succeed in killing him).

The Flash character Barry Allen was always pretty lameballz and was replaced by another Flash, Wally West, whom people seemed to like better. People liked Wally West's personality choice better, to wit, that he had one.

And yet, even with characters people didn't particularly like (or at least they liked their successors more), they still could not stop themselves from bringing them back to life.

The Spiderman "death" was slightly interesting because, well, first of all, they pretty much broadcast that Peter Parker would come back to life (his body was still alive, after all), and they had his archvillain Doc Ock controlling the body, trying to prove he could be a "better" Spiderman than Parker.

Eh, kind of interesting. Sort of. At least the story wasn't just the "death" itself, which no one believed for one second.

Oh and now Doc Ock's dead, and I'm sure he'll remain dead just like Spiderman's old archvillain the Green Goblin stayed dead. (Spoiler alert: Green Goblin's been Alive Again for almost ten years now.)

Posted by: Ace at 02:32 PM | Comments (252)
Post contains 926 words, total size 6 kb.

1 I quit reading comic books when I was, I dunno...ten? Wished I still had them though.

Posted by: tu3031 at April 29, 2014 02:36 PM (nsQhi)

2 Holy crap! First!!

Posted by: tu3031 at April 29, 2014 02:36 PM (nsQhi)

3 After the last Wolverine movie..good riddance.

Posted by: RWC at April 29, 2014 02:38 PM (QeH9j)

4 Bruce Boxleitner will have a cameo role as Alderaan Alderman Ailek Attari.

Since they blew up that planet in the first (fourth in Lucas' mind) flick, I guess that means it's a bit part.  Lotsa bits.

Posted by: Blanco Basura at April 29, 2014 02:39 PM (vc5+2)

5 This post reminds me of Abba, a dead pop group that Broadway brought back to life.

Posted by: MTF at April 29, 2014 02:40 PM (Px4PF)

6 I'm trying to kill off the country before Nov.

Fat chance bringing it back.

Posted by: Orange Man (aka John Boehner) at April 29, 2014 02:42 PM (IlmuV)

7 Who will play Reince Priebus and Barkevious Mingo in the new Star Wars movie?

Posted by: logprof at April 29, 2014 02:43 PM (GW/jL)

8 I voted for Jason Todd to live, when I was eleven or twelve years old. It was my introduction to bitter disappointment after a vote.

Posted by: game time decision at April 29, 2014 02:43 PM (WKKgC)

9 The comment about action-figure sculptors puts me in mind of this AoS classic:

Elegy for a Chief Engineer (upon the passing of James Doohan): 

http://ace.mu.nu/archives/105638.php

One of the funniest things I have ever read.

Posted by: Sharkman at April 29, 2014 02:45 PM (TM1p8)

10 Breaking news: Patton Oswald will be playing Gloopo Glornick.

Now you're just highlighting your ignorance. It's Gloopo The Glornick.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at April 29, 2014 02:45 PM (IN7k+)

11 Comic book fags - they're just... different.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at April 29, 2014 02:45 PM (JDIKC)

12 I wish they would bring back Mr Fantastic.

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 29, 2014 02:46 PM (5UteM)

13 And as far as comic books, never was much into superheros.  I preferred Mad Magazine, Cracked and Plop!

Posted by: Sharkman at April 29, 2014 02:46 PM (TM1p8)

14 Kill the guy with a mutant healing factor? Yawn...

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 29, 2014 02:47 PM (0hIQR)

15

I haven't watched the last Wolverine movie yet.

 

Not sure I want to.

The previews look like it's an all-torture thing for the Wolverine. 

 

Posted by: wheatie at April 29, 2014 02:47 PM (emg5o)

16 I hate mutants.

Posted by: NAACP LIfetime Award Winner Donald Sterling [/i] [/b] [/i] [/b] at April 29, 2014 02:48 PM (5ikDv)

17 Still waiting for the Magnus, Robot Fighter flick. No neo-animals, tho'. They pretty much sucked.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 29, 2014 02:48 PM (0HooB)

18 >>>Kill the guy with a mutant healing factor? Yawn... that's what I thought, but then I read: they took away his healing powers!!! so I'm totally sure he's really dead!!!

Posted by: ace at April 29, 2014 02:48 PM (/FnUH)

19 Who shot JR?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 29, 2014 02:48 PM (t3UFN)

20 The killing of a big comic hero was so over when they bumped off Superman.  Then he came back as three different characters.

Just another reason why I like manga and anime, when they kill off a character the character tends to stay very dead.  Paging Roy Focker on the Afterlife Courtesy Phone.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2014 02:49 PM (W6ugU)

21 I don't mind if you're friends with mutants, or even if you sleep with mutants. I just don't want to see pictures of you hanging out with Mutants on my Instagram feed. It's Society (TM).

Posted by: NAACP LIfetime Award Winner Donald Sterling at April 29, 2014 02:49 PM (/FnUH)

22 Liked the military ones. Sgt. Rock, Johnny Cloud (the Indian P-51 pilot), Sgt. Fury, the PT boat skipper that used to get the blinding headaches at the worst possible time, couple of others I forget.

Posted by: tu3031 at April 29, 2014 02:49 PM (nsQhi)

23 It's always the Hero who dies, never the Villain. No Villain is ever defeated completely once and for all never to come back to do more dastardly deeds. Heroes die, lose their powers, go crazy, turn evil. The Villain always wins in the end.

Posted by: hadsil at April 29, 2014 02:50 PM (3Rbu4)

24 "And the X-Men: Days of Future Past trailer also features a speedy mutant named Quicksilver." And Cap' America 2 has the same Asian actor that played the Asian financier or whatever the hell he was in The Dark Knight, so put that shit together!

Posted by: Burn the Witch at April 29, 2014 02:50 PM (HLprW)

25 I like how in the comic books you can just "take away someone's powers." Like you could just take away someone's power to, say, eat without surgically removing their face and stomach.

Posted by: ace at April 29, 2014 02:50 PM (/FnUH)

26

"Who shot JR?"

 

Who cares?

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at April 29, 2014 02:50 PM (jNNPU)

27 This time Greedo shoots first and Han takes it right in the colostomy bag.

Posted by: George Lucas at April 29, 2014 02:51 PM (8ZskC)

28 The Flash without legs is obviously less effective.

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 29, 2014 02:51 PM (5UteM)

29 This is mainly why I don't like Arrow anymore. That and the apparenlty unlearnable lesson that if you want to tell your mother/sister/friend/lover/ex-lover/mailman something important, just turn off your cell phone for 2 minutes. Seriously. If two minutes is the difference between life and death... well, that brings me back to that point: Started decent, but now it's completely overrun with people who "died" but won't stay dead. I cannot stand this. Any barely competent writer should be able to crank out a new and interesting hero or villain. The formula is easy.

Posted by: krakatoa at April 29, 2014 02:51 PM (49IcX)

30 Well Greedo's grand-kid seeking vengeance....

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2014 02:52 PM (W6ugU)

31 They'll probably bring him back with an Epic Four Different Editions (Only one of which is the *real* story, so collect them all), like DC did with Superman.

Posted by: Secundus at April 29, 2014 02:52 PM (m752m)

32 Actors John Boyega, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Andy Serkis, Domhnall Gleeson, and Max von Sydow will join the original stars of the saga, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, and Kenny Baker in the new film. The first six on that list? I have no idea who they are. I could walk past them on the street and not recognize them. I hope the chicks are hittable and dress like Leia in her Jabba bikini.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 29, 2014 02:52 PM (0HooB)

33 as a kid, I grew up with x-men comics. Stan Lee can't kill wolverine any more than Georgie Lucas murder the star wars universe, as much as they try. It's bigger than they are.

Posted by: tangonine at April 29, 2014 02:52 PM (x3YFz)

34 25 I like how in the comic books you can just "take away someone's powers." Like you could just take away someone's power to, say, eat without surgically removing their face and stomach. Posted by: ace at April 29, 2014 07:50 PM (/FnUH) --Every time I see or read about Sandra Fluke or Moochzilla I become temporarily impotent.

Posted by: logprof at April 29, 2014 02:53 PM (GW/jL)

35 I kind of like it when Superheroes say "Fuck you all!" and recuse themselves from their roles for a bit. Hell, even having them turn bad is more interesting than just simply killing them off. Killing them off is just lazy.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at April 29, 2014 02:53 PM (HLprW)

36 Jabba the Hutt is now a Jenny Craig Spokesthing and weighs in at a trim 85 pounds.

Posted by: George Lucas at April 29, 2014 02:53 PM (8ZskC)

37 Apparently Quicksilver began (I'm guessing here, Nerds) as an Avenger but got retconned as a mutant, and the son of Magneto.


Quicksilver is the brother of the Scarlet Witch, and they first appeared as members of Magneto's Brotherhood of Evil Mutants (in the original run of X-Men in the '60s) but only because they owed Magneto for saving their lives.  Before long, they left, eventually became members of The Avengers, and in the '80s were retconned as Magneto's children even though this contradicted the backstory that had been retconned for Magneto earlier in the '80s.

Posted by: DKCZ at April 29, 2014 02:53 PM (kDEap)

38 Max von Sydow...

Hey we will have Ming the Merciless in the Star Wars universe.  The new emperor has been revealed!  Long live Ming!

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2014 02:54 PM (W6ugU)

39 They turned me into a newt.

Posted by: Wolverine at April 29, 2014 02:54 PM (XeVA7)

40 Still discriminating against Black Lightning, I see. http://is.gd/kI9MMw

Posted by: toby928© at April 29, 2014 02:54 PM (QupBk)

41 The first six on that list? I have no idea who they are. I could walk past them on the street and not recognize them. I hope the chicks are hittable and dress like Leia in her Jabba bikini. Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at April 29, 2014 07:52 PM (0HooB) --Andy Serkis I know by name, but because his biggest roles were digitized (Gollum and Caesar the chimp) I would not know him visually from Adam.

Posted by: logprof at April 29, 2014 02:55 PM (GW/jL)

42 Man, I'm glad I just read Archie, Richie Rich, Wendy and Caspar when I was growing up. I'd hate to see what kind of treatment they would get. Archie is a recovering meth addict. Moose and Jughead are on the downlow. Reggie is into kiddie porn. Betty has been hooking to pay for college. Veronica is screwing Popp for malts. Cadbury has been chickenhawking Richie The Riches are running an international child prostitution ring Wendy the good little witch, is actually the stripping little witch Caspar, he's a ghost, so he and his three brothers are just fapping

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper at April 29, 2014 02:55 PM (HxSXm)

43 >>>Quicksilver is the brother of the Scarlet Witch, and they first appeared as members of Magneto's Brotherhood of Evil Mutants (in the original run of X-Men in the '60s) but only because they owed Magneto for saving their lives. Before long, they left, eventually became members of The Avengers, and in the '80s were retconned as Magneto's children even though this contradicted the backstory that had been retconned for Magneto earlier in the '80s. well I knew there would be SOME retconning here! Okay so they always were mutants, I guess.

Posted by: ace at April 29, 2014 02:55 PM (/FnUH)

44 I like how in the comic books you can just "take away someone's powers." They did that in one of the original Superman movies so he could doink Lois Lane. That lasted about as long as the cigarette afterwards.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 29, 2014 02:55 PM (0HooB)

45 Posted by: Burn the Witch


Exactly. Why not an evil ray that makes your hero bad or mind control instead of perpetual resurrections?

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 29, 2014 02:55 PM (5UteM)

46 Those are funny names if you just made them up off the top of your head, Ace.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 29, 2014 02:55 PM (ZPrif)

47 Nobody's killed me off yet. What, the guy who just talks to fishes isn't important enough for a die-off episode?

Posted by: Aquaman at April 29, 2014 02:55 PM (8ZskC)

48 Bill Pullman as Empire Sports & Punishment Network anchorman Trey Wingo.

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at April 29, 2014 02:55 PM (4ckfx)

49 Imagine your old Aunt Myrtle (the one whose house is featured in both Cat Fancy and Doily Fancy. Those daytime soaps (mah stories!) she watches and knows every detail of? It's like that, except the handsome widower with amnesia can shoot lasers out of his eyes.

Posted by: AmishDude at April 29, 2014 02:56 PM (1UzRc)

50 >>>Archie is a recovering meth addict. Moose and Jughead are on the downlow. Reggie is into kiddie porn. Betty has been hooking to pay for college. Veronica is screwing Popp for malts. Cadbury has been chickenhawking Richie The Riches are running an international child prostitution ring Wendy the good little witch, is actually the stripping little witch Caspar, he's a ghost, so he and his three brothers are just fapping Fantastic idea!!! I love it!!!

Posted by: Alan Moore, Writer of "WATCHMEN: The Archies" at April 29, 2014 02:56 PM (/FnUH)

51 Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper at April 29, 2014 07:55 PM (HxSXm) Vivid video put out that version. A friend told me.

Posted by: krakatoa at April 29, 2014 02:56 PM (49IcX)

52 Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch began as villains in the X-Men. They were the among the first minions of Magneto. But they were nice minions, and quickly changed sides. The Scarlet Witch has always been the more famous of the two, mainly because no one wants to see QuicksilverÂ’s man-boobs. SheÂ’s crossed over from the X-Men to the Fantastic Four as well as the Avengers, and probably other groups, because everybody wants her. She has the amazing ability to make bad things happen just by her presence. SheÂ’s the ultimate Woman On Board.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair, Nerd at April 29, 2014 02:56 PM (WX3R9)

53 There is always Larry Niven's little essay on the problems between Clark and Lois - Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex.

http://www.wattpad.com/115285-man-of-steel-woman-of-kleenex-by-larry-niven

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2014 02:57 PM (W6ugU)

54 "Then they all got better. It was like a miracle or something." Hey, it happens.

Posted by: Once A Newt at April 29, 2014 02:57 PM (1CroS)

55 How come you aren't asking about me?

Posted by: Aqua Man at April 29, 2014 02:57 PM (Ua6T/)

56 My patience for reading has dwindled so much I don't think I can even read a comic book anymore. Gaaahd, there should be some audiobook version that reads it to me and turns the pages for me.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 29, 2014 02:57 PM (ZPrif)

57 Liked the military ones. Sgt. Rock, Johnny Cloud (the Indian P-51 pilot), Sgt. Fury, the PT boat skipper that used to get the blinding headaches at the worst possible time, couple of others I forget. Haunted Tank FTW! Having a bunch of kid soldiers in a tank haunted by Jeb Stuart was all kinds of awesome.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 29, 2014 02:58 PM (0HooB)

58 46 Those are funny names if you just made them up off the top of your head, Ace. Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 29, 2014 07:55 PM (ZPrif) --What's scary is that Reince Priebus and Barkevious Mingo are not fictional names. . . .

Posted by: logprof at April 29, 2014 02:58 PM (GW/jL)

59 12 I wish they would bring back Mr Fantastic. What? I'm here.

Posted by: AmishDude at April 29, 2014 02:58 PM (1UzRc)

60 How come you aren't asking about me? ItÂ’s the speedo.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 29, 2014 02:58 PM (WX3R9)

61 And yet strangely, here we have no sign of Dr. Strange and his manservant, Wong.

Posted by: Fritz at April 29, 2014 02:58 PM (oJUxt)

62 Hey Aqua Man, blow me.

Posted by: Standing on land at April 29, 2014 02:59 PM (5UteM)

63 And Alan Moore, go bugger off...  don't you have to write something about some Illuminati queefing off to some Janis Joplin music?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2014 02:59 PM (W6ugU)

64 So do comic geeks celebrate their own comic geek Easter? Ok, I will leave.,

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at April 29, 2014 02:59 PM (HVff2)

65 Pretty sure they did kill off Aquaman at some point. He got better, of course.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 29, 2014 03:00 PM (ZPrif)

66 >>>Just another reason why I like manga and anime, when they kill off a character the character tends to stay very dead.
Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2014 07:49 PM (W6ugU)<<<


Yeah, it kinda blows.

Posted by: zombie Kamina (team Dai-Gurren) at April 29, 2014 03:00 PM (IlmuV)

67 WTF, tinyurl not good enough, pixy?

Posted by: OK, Thanks, Bye at April 29, 2014 03:00 PM (uopHF)

68 Gaaahd, there should be some audiobook version that reads it to me and turns the pages for me. Son of a bitch! You wished for my life back.

Posted by: Ted at April 29, 2014 03:00 PM (WX3R9)

69 >>>Pretty sure they did kill off Aquaman at some point. He got better, of course. yeah i think you're right. also dead: Green Arrow. Also got better.

Posted by: ace at April 29, 2014 03:00 PM (/FnUH)

70 There's enough Geek here to drive away The Moronettes. Are you sure you're doing this right, Ace?

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at April 29, 2014 03:01 PM (1CroS)

71 I know that Aquaman definitely had his hand devoured by piranha and sported a cool hook-hand for a while. His hand got better.

Posted by: ace at April 29, 2014 03:01 PM (/FnUH)

72 archie bites it too: http://tinyurl.com/mbzkmra

Posted by: OK, Thanks, Bye at April 29, 2014 03:01 PM (uopHF)

73 She has the amazing ability to make bad things happen just by her presence.
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair, Nerd at April 29, 2014 07:56 PM (WX3R9)

Joe Btfsplk superhero.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Btfsplk

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at April 29, 2014 03:02 PM (XeVA7)

74 I know, right? Hacks, they're all a bunch of hacks.

Posted by: Sherlock Holmes at April 29, 2014 03:02 PM (1UzRc)

75 65 Pretty sure they did kill off Aquaman at some point. He got better, of course. Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 29, 2014 08:00 PM (ZPrif) Aquaman is the George Costanza of comic book superheros

Posted by: MikeH at April 29, 2014 03:02 PM (bRL1M)

76 At this point the list of DC and Marvel superheroes who have *not* died is probably shorter than the ones who have.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 29, 2014 03:02 PM (ZPrif)

77 Speaking of resurrections, is anyone else watching that series? It started strange, got stranger, then Stephen Kinged a bit and now it's just getting complicated. I can see some real social problems coming what with all the dead people walking around. It's like a Missouri version of River World.

Posted by: toby928© at April 29, 2014 03:03 PM (QupBk)

78 AnonymousDrivel you really need to attend a comic convention.

SDCC 2013
http://youtu.be/TQrRniJ-tGQ

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2014 03:03 PM (W6ugU)

79 70 There's enough Geek here to drive away The Moronettes. Are you sure you're doing this right, Ace? Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at April 29, 2014 08:01 PM (1CroS) Ya, I'm waiting for the cats with doilies thread. Until then, I'm watching the hockey game.

Posted by: grammie winger at April 29, 2014 03:03 PM (oMKp3)

80 Oh man, I just came across this one that they are adding into the Justice League. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkQQGsOegv0

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper at April 29, 2014 03:03 PM (HxSXm)

81
All of these zombie superhero stories are gayer than when Timothy Olyphant went gay for Archer.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at April 29, 2014 03:04 PM (hJauc)

82 Did you hear the one about Superman and the sunbathing Wonder Woman?

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 29, 2014 03:04 PM (5UteM)

83 I don't know but my ass is killing me.

Posted by: Just the Punchline at April 29, 2014 03:05 PM (QupBk)

84 Come on, AIDS Boy, we've gotta Pride Parade to save---there's one Christian handing out pamphlets!!!

Posted by: Homo Man, man from F.A.G. (Federal Agents of Gaydom) at April 29, 2014 03:05 PM (D+5pt)

85 At this point the list of DC and Marvel superheroes who have *not* died is probably shorter than the ones who have. As I recall, in Grant MorrisonÂ’s JLA (which was great, btw), one or more of the second-stringers die. The priest gives a half-assed ceremony because you guys always come back anyway, whatÂ’s the point?

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 29, 2014 03:05 PM (WX3R9)

86

Quicksilver's not particularly a big deal as far as the Avengers are concerned (he's never been part of the time for very long, and is frequently openly hostile to them).  I suspect his presence is largely a two-fer.  Quicksilver's sister Wanda (The Scarlet Witch) *is* a big deal as far as the Avengers are concerned.  She's frequently linked to the team.  And at one point she married the android The Vision, who's also rumored to be in the new film (they got married, she had twins, and then the whole thing was retconned in a particularly disasterous fashion).

 

I suspect that the idea was to bring Wanda in, and then they realized that if they were going to include her, they also needed to include her brother.  If he leaves at the end of the movie and isn't seen in Avengers 3, likely no one will complain (and it would be perfectly in character).

 

As for the Wolverine news...  the thing that puzzles me is the idea of who's going to replace him.  Most of the people who got offed in the past were either side-kicks (i.e. Robin) or had replacements immediately on-hand to take their place (i.e. Green Lantern, Flash).  Superman had four different fakes all running around claiming his title while he was "dead".  But introducing a "new" Wolverine to replace the old one wouldn't work like it would with the others.  That would leave a rather large hole in Marvel's publishing line-up.

 

Posted by: junior at April 29, 2014 03:05 PM (UWFpX)

87 So. Ace is Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 29, 2014 03:06 PM (GEICT)

88 I don't know but my ass is killing me.
That's what I said!

Posted by: AIDS Boy at April 29, 2014 03:06 PM (D+5pt)

89 That was totally Aquaman, NOT the Winter Soldier, who pulled Cap out of the water at the end of Cap'n 2. They're going to boot up an Aquaman franchise where he battles Anthropogenic Climate Change. Tell me you think someone hasn't seriously given that some thought.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at April 29, 2014 03:06 PM (HLprW)

90 They just recently killed off robin. Again. This time it was Bruce Wayne's son that was killed as robin.

Posted by: Buzzion at April 29, 2014 03:06 PM (qpT9y)

91 Superman was kinda bored so he just started flying around looking for something to do. He's flying over Wonder Woman's house and sees her bedroom window is open. He stops for a glimpse and sees her lying on her bed naked. She's lying there and squirming around looking real hot. Superman was getting turned on looking at her so he decides what the hell, I can just fly in real quick, give her the ole' in-out and be out of there before she even knows what hit her. After all he is Superman. So, in he goes, wham-bam and he's out of there. Wonder Woman knew something happened and says, "What was that?" The invisible man says, "I don't know but, damn, is my ass sore."

Posted by: The Joker at April 29, 2014 03:06 PM (bRL1M)

92 OK, what would a Social Justice League line-up look like?

Posted by: AmishDude at April 29, 2014 03:07 PM (1UzRc)

93 In the Blackest Night, Brightest Day storyline they killed off and resurrected tons of DC characters. I tried to read it and got bored and stopped.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 29, 2014 03:07 PM (ZPrif)

94 You leotard-loving superhero fag-hags are pathetic. When I was a kid, there was only one comic book hero for me - The Unknown Soldier.

I can't believe Hollywood can regurgitate every lame idea in pop culture for the last fifty years, but they can't find the time to make a movie about the baddest comic book motherfucker ever. Gets his face blown off by a Jap grenade, becomes a master of disguise and infiltrates behind enemy lines on secret missions (where he does fun things like string piano wire across a road to decapitate a Nazi motorcycle courier so he can get a mould of his face), and for his grand finale, fucking KILLS HITLER. Then makes it look like a suicide just to shame the prick.

I think there's a special issue where he fucks Captain America in the ass because he mistakes him for a chorus girl.


Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at April 29, 2014 03:07 PM (4ckfx)

95 Atomic Robo, Hellboy, and Walking Dead are the only comics I buy. Atomic Robo is the only one I buy issue to issue rather than in the six issue trade paperbacks. Not only is Atomic Robo science-y and hilariously awesome, it paid off for me to get in on the ground floor because my first edition copies of the first story arc are going for hundreds now. #Nerdz

Posted by: The Obsidian Owl at April 29, 2014 03:07 PM (B4s9M)

96 92 OK, what would a Social Justice League line-up look like? Posted by: AmishDude at April 29, 2014 08:07 PM (1UzRc) Eric Holder as the Chinless Wonder

Posted by: MikeH at April 29, 2014 03:08 PM (bRL1M)

97 Vivid video put out that version. A friend told me. Posted by: krakatoa at April 29, 2014 07:56 PM (49IcX) What time will it allegedly be coming on Cinemax?

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper at April 29, 2014 03:08 PM (HxSXm)

98 You'd think someone with the ocular ability to see through walls and shoot rays out of his eyes could see in the infrared.

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 29, 2014 03:08 PM (5UteM)

99 I think Josh Wheedon is avoiding calling Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch "mutants," because that directly implicates the X-Men IP package, and won't say Magneto is their dad.



Awk-ward !!

Posted by: Ambiguously Gay Duo at April 29, 2014 03:08 PM (5ikDv)

100

@33 Stan Lee can't kill wolverine any more than Georgie Lucas murder the star wars universe, as much as they try. It's bigger than they are.

-----------------------

 

Hasn't been Stan Lee for quite some time now.  It's Disney, and I think Joe Quesada (i.e. the guy who thought that having Spider-man make a deal with the devil was a neat plot point, and who never saw a comic book marriage that he couldn't wreck).

 

Posted by: junior at April 29, 2014 03:08 PM (UWFpX)

101 That was totally Aquaman, NOT the Winter Soldier, who pulled Cap out of the water at the end of Cap'n 2. The Sub-mariner.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair, Nerd at April 29, 2014 03:08 PM (WX3R9)

102 Two men are sitting drinking at a bar at the top of the Empire State Building, when the first man turns to the other and says "You know, last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building, the winds around the building are so intense that by the time you fall to the 10th floor, they carry you around the building and back into a window". The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar. The second guy says, "What, are you nuts? There's no way that could happen. "No, its true," the first man says. "Let me prove it to you." He gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony, and plummets toward the street below. As he nears the 10th floor, the high winds whip him around the building and back into the 10th floor window and he takes the elevator back up to the bar. He meets the second man, who looks quite astonished. "You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but that must have been a one time fluke." "No, I'll prove it again," says the first man as he jumps again. Just as he is hurtling toward the street, the 10th floor wind gently carries him around the building and into the window. Once upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it. "Well, why not." the second guy says, "It works. I'll try it." He jumps over the balcony, plunges downward passes the 11th, 10th 9th, 8th, floors. . . . . and hits the sidewalk with a SPLAT. Back upstairs the bartender turns to the other drinker and says, "You know Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk".

Posted by: Okay, the whole joke at April 29, 2014 03:09 PM (QupBk)

103 I think there's a special issue where he fucks Captain America in the ass because he mistakes him for a chorus girl.


Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at April 29, 2014 08:07 PM (4ckfx)


Does he publish a newsletter?

Posted by: The Obsidian Owl at April 29, 2014 03:09 PM (B4s9M)

104 They're going to boot up an Aquaman franchise where he battles Anthropogenic Climate Change. Tell me you think someone hasn't seriously given that some thought. Posted by: Burn the Witch at April 29, 2014 08:06 PM (HLprW) Step the hell back.

Posted by: Captain Planet at April 29, 2014 03:09 PM (QeH9j)

105 The site ComicVine says Aquaman did in fact die. For each character they list "Current Events", I guess to catch you up quickly on what's going on. Here's what the word salad they have for Aquaman: Aquaman is now searching for Scavenger after being given the suggestion from Vulko that it's a distinct possibility it could be him. While Aquaman searches, the forgotten aged "King of Atlantis" confronts Mera.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 29, 2014 03:10 PM (ZPrif)

106 Alan Moore wouldn't do "Archie". IIRC he's repudiated his own take on the Joker, which was "Killing Joke". (He interpreted Batman tolerably in that comic, but it was a Joker comic in focus.) Alan Moore might do a parody of Archie one day, though. And - based on "watchmen" - don't count on it being pro-Left

Posted by: boulder t'hobo at April 29, 2014 03:10 PM (30eLQ)

107 Well someone did the Justice League as a rock band.  Its frankly super meh!  Even tossed in the Wonder Twins.

http://www.ufunk.net/illustration/super-rockers/

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2014 03:11 PM (W6ugU)

108 BCochran1981: "Ace is Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons?" He's hiding in plain sight. It's simply diabolical.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at April 29, 2014 03:11 PM (1CroS)

109 Haunted Tank FTW! Having a bunch of kid soldiers in a tank haunted by Jeb Stuart was all kinds of awesome. Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit

----------------

As I recall, Jeb was mortified when their M3 Stuart was ventilated and they transferred to a Sherman.

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at April 29, 2014 03:11 PM (4ckfx)

110 The 8 Incredibly Gross Powers Superman DoesnÂ’t Even Realize He Has http://is.gd/MpIU4D

Posted by: toby928© at April 29, 2014 03:11 PM (QupBk)

111 Ace is Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons?
Worst. Comment. Ever.

Posted by: real comicbook guy at April 29, 2014 03:12 PM (D+5pt)

112 What about us?

Posted by: Seaman and Swallow at April 29, 2014 03:12 PM (LJ7Ze)

113 When I read about the Star Wars crap today, I thought of how cool it'd be for the Millennium Falcon to break apart in transit due to age and metal fatigue resulting in the whole lot of geezers being sucked into space. Then, they'd all start gagging and spewing blood from their mouths a la that guy from Event Horizon. And then they'd die. THE END. I'm guessing that's a little too much of a downer for an Abrams movie, though. Perhaps someone could make it into a Flash animation.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke's Solid Gold Diaphragm at April 29, 2014 03:12 PM (bHnlE)

114 And I still can't believe they are doing Ant Man... Before doing Dr. Strange!

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 29, 2014 03:13 PM (84gbM)

115 >>>But introducing a "new" Wolverine to replace the old one wouldn't work like it would with the others. That would leave a rather large hole in Marvel's publishing line-up. yeah it would work okay. They've done this bullshit before. Step One: Have a character showing up as "The Wolverine," with mystery as to who is posing as this new Wolverine. Cover: WHO IS THE "WOLVERINE"? Step Two: Power him up, make him MOAR AWESOME!!! than the old Wolverine. Whenever comic-book writers want to stoke fan interest, they POWER THAT F***ER UP!!! Because all geeks care about is WHO IS MOAR POWERFUL?! Step Three: Have some crossovers with important characters trying to find out who this new, MOAR POWERFUL, MOAR BRUTAL wolverine is. Oh I forgot: Make the new one MOAR BRUTAL, because MOAR DARK is better. Step Four: Five months down the road, reveal who the new Wolverine is. Either a forgotten character, a clone, a robot, a former enemy taking his place to honor (or despoil) his memory, a son or a daughter, or a complete nobody. Step Five: Have the heroes try to bring down this MOAR BRUTAL Wolverine. Next Ish-- WAR OF THE WOLVERINE!!! Step Six: Keep hitting this basic crap for as long as sales don't slip too far. Finally, when sales drop for three months in a row: Step Seven: In an epilogue of a story, you have a shadow of a figure sweep dramatically across the floor, with Wolverine's claws visible in frame, hinting/telling people Wolverine is back from the dead, and will now reclaim the mantle from the New Moar Powerful Wolverine. Then you milk this bullshit for six months with Wolverine refusing to explain how he came back from the dead, until finally, one day, he does. The explanation disappoints fans, but that doesn't matter, because: Step Eight: Three years from now you retcon this so that none of it ever happened.

Posted by: ace at April 29, 2014 03:13 PM (/FnUH)

116 96 92 OK, what would a Social Justice League line-up look like? Posted by: AmishDude at April 29, 2014 08:07 PM (1UzRc) 'Illegal Man. Able to disappear and live in the shadows while altering space-time to get in-state tuition. (Yes, I'm pissed at that cocksucker McAullife amd his merry bunch of ass shits.)

Posted by: RWC at April 29, 2014 03:13 PM (QeH9j)

117 OK, what would a Social Justice League line-up look like? I keep the world safe from black babies!

Posted by: The Abortionista at April 29, 2014 03:13 PM (86150)

118 Caspar, he's a ghost And ghosts can't do it (even with Bo Derek) (see nick)

Posted by: Fox2! at April 29, 2014 03:13 PM (cHwSy)

119 OK, what would a Social Justice League line-up look like?
Posted by: AmishDude at April 29, 2014 08:07 PM (1UzRc)



I call leader!

Posted by: Supergenderneutral at April 29, 2014 03:13 PM (3a584)

120 Asking because I honestly don't know, do you still go into a grocery store and buy comic books (I've seen Archie at grocery stores and bought them there as a kid) or is this an online deal or what?

Posted by: Seems legit at April 29, 2014 03:13 PM (A98Xu)

121 well I knew there would be SOME retconning here!
Okay so they always were mutants, I guess.
Posted by: ace at April 29, 2014 07:55 PM (/FnUH)

There's been a LOT of retconning where Magneto is concerned, even by the time I stopped reading comics in the '90s.

Posted by: DKCZ at April 29, 2014 03:13 PM (kDEap)

122 I heard Aquaman got killed by a Japanese dolphin cull. The official story is he was trying to save some dolphins. While "helping the wee fishie" through a net he ended up strangling himself "accidentally".

Posted by: krakatoa at April 29, 2014 03:14 PM (49IcX)

123 Then, they'd all start gagging and spewing blood from their mouths a la that guy from Event Horizon. And then they'd die. THE END. I'm guessing that's a little too much of a downer for an Abrams movie, though. Perhaps someone could make it into a Flash animation. Posted by: Sandra Fluke's Solid Gold Diaphragm at April 29, 2014 08:12 PM (bHnlE) Meesa Like-a

Posted by: Jar-Jar Binks at April 29, 2014 03:15 PM (bRL1M)

124 The human race has run out of ideas.

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 29, 2014 03:15 PM (NRr9t)

125 I call leader!

Posted by: Supergenderneutral at April 29, 2014 08:13 PM (3a584)


We meet again, my Nemesis.

Posted by: Cisnormative Man at April 29, 2014 03:15 PM (B4s9M)

126 70 There's enough Geek here to drive away The Moronettes. Are you sure you're doing this right, Ace? Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at April 29, 2014 08:01 PM (1CroS) Mwr was pleading for a movie adaptation of a Star Wars expanded universe book earlier today. Alexthechick squees hardcore at giant robots and monsters fighting. Anna puma is definitely into the geeky stuff. Pgis has admitted to having a thing for nerds. Our moronettes are awesomely nerdy.

Posted by: Buzzion at April 29, 2014 03:15 PM (z/Ubi)

127 These current events at ComicVine are funny. I have such little context it's mostly just nonsense. Green Lantern, Current Events Hal Jordan is currently leading the Green Lantern Corps and finding new recruits after the events with the First Lantern. After a battle with Star Sapphire Nol-Anj, he seeks Carol Ferris, Saint Walker and Kyle Rayner, who are in battle with Relic. A villain by the name of Relic has arrived to Oa, and is battling the Lanterns, who he calls "Lightsmiths."

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 29, 2014 03:15 PM (ZPrif)

128 Wolverine is being replaced with Honey Badger.

Brilliant!

*clinks glasses of Guinness together*

Posted by: geniuses at Marvel at April 29, 2014 03:15 PM (IlmuV)

129 After "The Dark Knight" and Snyder's "Watchmen", I can't really watch superhero movies anymore. Those two set the bar too high.

Posted by: boulder t'hobo at April 29, 2014 03:16 PM (30eLQ)

130 Anna Puma: "...you really need to attend a comic convention." Take out the paid statuettes and the ratio remains pretty lopsided. I maintain the Moronette-inclined faction wisely immune to Geekdom. The Patriarchy will still enjoy the few who venture forth in skimpy outfits, however.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at April 29, 2014 03:16 PM (1CroS)

131 What about us? Posted by: Seaman and Swallow
Meet up with us after the parade at Bull Dyke's place.

Posted by: Homo Man, man from F.A.G. (Federal Agents of Gaydom) at April 29, 2014 03:16 PM (D+5pt)

132 Step Eight: Three years from now you retcon this so that none of it ever happened. Posted by: ace at April 29, 2014 08:13 PM (/FnUH) Comic. Book. Guy. Come on people, you can't tell me that you don't hear CBG's voice with that comment.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at April 29, 2014 03:16 PM (GEICT)

133 Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex ! Thread winner ! Haven't read that in 20 years, but I still remember it.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at April 29, 2014 03:17 PM (Ra/a8)

134 and I have a bad feeling that the new SW series will kill off an annoying Gungan in the first 20 minutes, just for fanservice

Posted by: boulder t'hobo at April 29, 2014 03:17 PM (30eLQ)

135 Uhmm..Bruce....? Oh Him! Ya, well they can do anything they want as long as there are hot female characters that hot fans can dress up like. You know what I'm saying? Something to go to the cons to see and get autographed pics. Ya them.

Posted by: Pointless in Paduka at April 29, 2014 03:17 PM (GIK02)

136 134 and I have a bad feeling that the new SW series will kill off an annoying Gungan in the first 20 minutes, just for fanservice Posted by: boulder t'hobo at April 29, 2014 08:17 PM (30eLQ) Gungan barbacue anyone?

Posted by: Jacen Solo at April 29, 2014 03:18 PM (bRL1M)

137 Whenever comic-book writers want to stoke fan interest, they POWER THAT F***ER UP!!! Because all geeks care about is WHO IS MOAR POWERFUL?! So you've seen those 30 minute Youtube theoretical lightsaber duel analyses between characters that never actually fought one another in the Star Wars universe?

Posted by: Burn the Witch at April 29, 2014 03:18 PM (HLprW)

138 I'm looking forward to Plinkett's review of Star Wars Episode VII: The Search for More Money. May the Swartz be with youououuouuouo.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 29, 2014 03:18 PM (0HooB)

139 125 I call leader!


Posted by: Supergenderneutral at April 29, 2014 08:13 PM (3a584)

We meet again, my Nemesis.

Posted by: Cisnormative Man at April 29, 2014 08:15 PM (B4s9M)



FINALLY!


Posted by: Ambiguously Gay Duo from the Fortress of Privacy at April 29, 2014 03:19 PM (5ikDv)

140 I keep undesirables and Republicans out of tenements.

Posted by: Dick, Man of Sterling at April 29, 2014 03:19 PM (D+5pt)

141 "(Spoiler alert: Green Goblin's been Alive Again for almost ten years now.)" Actually, it's closer to 20. Norman was resurrected in 1996... His son Harry (Green Goblin II) was offed in 1993 and brought back around 2006 as well.

Posted by: Blackford Oakes at April 29, 2014 03:19 PM (KVnkf)

142 Has there ever been a HQ thread without a Mel Brooks reference?

Posted by: boulder t'hobo at April 29, 2014 03:19 PM (30eLQ)

143

How about a super-villain that's able to swap out the powers of the hero he's facing at the moment?  So he's flying in a plane, Superman shows up, and he swaps Superman's power of flight into Antman's power of being a tiny insect.

 

That could be fun.

Posted by: bonhomme at April 29, 2014 03:19 PM (hG51H)

144 I call leader! Posted by: Supergenderneutral at April 29, 2014 08:13 PM (3a584) We meet again, my Nemesis. Posted by: Cisnormative Man I'm not sure who I want to win.

Posted by: Questioning Boy at April 29, 2014 03:20 PM (86150)

145 I'm not sure who I want to win. Posted by: Questioning Boy at April 29, 2014 08:20 PM (86150) I'm pretty sure who won't

Posted by: uranus at April 29, 2014 03:20 PM (30eLQ)

146 Cover: WHO IS THE "WOLVERINE"? Meh. Bigger question: WHO IS THE COON?

Posted by: Cartman at April 29, 2014 03:21 PM (1CroS)

147 >>>Actually, it's closer to 20. Norman was resurrected in 1996... His son Harry (Green Goblin II) was offed in 1993 and brought back around 2006 as well. kill me now

Posted by: ace at April 29, 2014 03:21 PM (/FnUH)

148 Is Wolverine gonna "slip and fall" just like that royal twit did last week in New York?

Posted by: Soothie at April 29, 2014 03:21 PM (NRr9t)

149 Bah. I always liked Wolverine's unapologetic badassery.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 29, 2014 03:21 PM (mx5oN)

150 Magneto Current Events Magneto has remained loyal to Cyclops after the events of Avengers vs. X-Men, and after freeing him from prison helps begin a new mutant revolution around the world. However, he appears to be a traitor and is acting as an informant for SHIELD, he claims to be double crossing S.H.I.E.L.D, when Cyclops confronted him. Magento's powers have been greatly diminished recently.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 29, 2014 03:21 PM (ZPrif)

151 I will destroy you all!

Posted by: Captain Offended at April 29, 2014 03:21 PM (86150)

152 Step Eight: Three years from now you retcon this so that none of it ever happened. Posted by: ace at April 29, 2014 08:13 PM (/FnUH) Wolverines main power was always his ability to heal.... So what happens when you clone him? You get a whole 'young man discovering who he really is' storyline...

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 29, 2014 03:22 PM (84gbM)

153 Come on people, you can't tell me that you don't hear CBG's voice with that comment.
I think Stuart from Big Bang probably is a better fit.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at April 29, 2014 03:22 PM (D+5pt)

154 JJ Abrams' "Star Wars" - let me guess.

Lens flares. Wildly implausible coincidences. Death-Star-sized plot holes. Scenes included simply because they're wicked cool, even if they undermine the story. Bizarre character actions. Metaphysical McGuffins. Did I miss anything?

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at April 29, 2014 03:22 PM (4ckfx)

155 They never see me coming.

Posted by: The Microaggressor at April 29, 2014 03:23 PM (86150)

156 How about a super-villain that's able to swap out the powers of the hero he's facing at the moment? Isn't that the idea behind Rogue from X-Men?

Posted by: Burn the Witch at April 29, 2014 03:23 PM (HLprW)

157 You get a whole 'young man discovering who he really is' storyline... Posted by: Romeo13 at April 29, 2014 08:22 PM (84gbM) Clone Wolverine better watch those claws, he may John Bobbit himself

Posted by: MikeH at April 29, 2014 03:23 PM (bRL1M)

158 139 125 I call leader! Posted by: Supergenderneutral at April 29, 2014 08:13 PM (3a584) We meet again, my Nemesis. Posted by: Cisnormative Man at April 29, 2014 08:15 PM (B4s9M) FINALLY! Posted by: Ambiguously Gay Duo from the Fortress of Privacy at April 29, 2014 08:19 PM (5ikDv) Yes, but who will come out on TOP? Tune in tomorrow! Same Bad Time..... same Bad Channel!

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 29, 2014 03:24 PM (84gbM)

159 Has there ever been a HQ thread without a Mel Brooks reference? Only a few. A Mel Brooks reference is never not appropriate for any thread here. Now, where da white wimmen at?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 29, 2014 03:24 PM (0HooB)

160 Did I miss anything?

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at April 29, 2014 08:22 PM (4ckfx)


Lite Sabres?

Posted by: The Obsidian Owl at April 29, 2014 03:24 PM (B4s9M)

161 154 JJ Abrams' "Star Wars" - let me guess. Lens flares. Wildly implausible coincidences. Death-Star-sized plot holes. Scenes included simply because they're wicked cool, even if they undermine the story. Bizarre character actions. Metaphysical McGuffins. Did I miss anything? Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at April 29, 2014 08:22 PM (4ckfx) Quotes from old versions of the movies to appease fanbois.

Posted by: MikeH at April 29, 2014 03:24 PM (bRL1M)

162 The Watchmen intro ruined it for me with the song choice. The Times They Are a Changin is just too on the nose, too cliched.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 29, 2014 03:24 PM (ZPrif)

163 Have those much smarter than us figured out yet how Desilu acquired the Star Trek documentary films from the future? Black hole? Time warp? What?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/s] [/u] at April 29, 2014 03:25 PM (z/dJ6)

164 Lens flares. Wildly implausible coincidences. Death-Star-sized plot holes. Scenes included simply because they're wicked cool, even if they undermine the story. Bizarre character actions. Metaphysical McGuffins. Did I miss anything? Mysterious plane crash in the Southern Hemisphere.

Posted by: CNN at April 29, 2014 03:25 PM (1UzRc)

165 156 How about a super-villain that's able to swap out the powers of the hero he's facing at the moment? Isn't that the idea behind Rogue from X-Men? Posted by: Burn the Witch at April 29, 2014 08:23 PM (HLprW) Nah rogue steals powers. He's suggesting a villain that can take away superman powers but must substitute in someone else's abilities.

Posted by: Buzzion at April 29, 2014 03:25 PM (z/Ubi)

166

Adam Driver is going to be in the new Star Wars movie?

 

Isn't he Lena Dunham's boyfriend in 'Girls'?

 

Yuck.

Posted by: wheatie at April 29, 2014 03:25 PM (emg5o)

167 Yep  Rogue's mutant power is steal with a touch.

Why she wears that all encompassing uniform.  Her ability to fly and such arose when she stole a good mutant's powers.  Think at the order of Mystique and that mutant ended up in a coma.  Or something.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2014 03:25 PM (W6ugU)

168

@152 So what happens when you clone him?

-----------------------

 

They already did that.

 

It's a chick.  Who spent some time working as a prostitute.  And liked to cut herself.

 

Posted by: junior at April 29, 2014 03:25 PM (UWFpX)

169

Isn't that the idea behind Rogue from X-Men?

 

Kind of.  She saps the person of their ability by touching their skin.  They don't get new power, unless you think getting your life sucked out of you is a power.

Posted by: bonhomme at April 29, 2014 03:26 PM (hG51H)

170 Only a few. A Mel Brooks reference is never not appropriate for any thread here. Now, where da white wimmen at? Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at April 29, 2014 08:24 PM (0HooB) Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, it expressed a courage little seen .....

Posted by: Olson Johnson at April 29, 2014 03:26 PM (bRL1M)

171 Eff you, losers. Imma go play Dark Souls II, nerds.

Posted by: The Obsidian Owl at April 29, 2014 03:27 PM (B4s9M)

172 But I gotta say.... my FAVORITE Comic book of all time... is still Deadpool... The only comic book character who knows he is in a comic book...

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 29, 2014 03:27 PM (84gbM)

173 129 After "The Dark Knight" and Snyder's "Watchmen", I can't really watch superhero movies anymore. Those two set the bar too high. Posted by: boulder t'hobo

--------------

This.

"The Dark Knight" went on a bit too long, and "Watchmen" was undermined by two weak lead performances, but they both had something no other superhero movie I've seen has - they were INTERESTING.

Oh, and Heath Ledger as The Joker and Jackie Earle Haley as Rorsharch were sublime.

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at April 29, 2014 03:27 PM (4ckfx)

174 The best thing about the Marvel Universe is that Thanos has successfully destroyed it.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 29, 2014 03:28 PM (X0j4A)

175 I still think the coolest scene in any of the X-Men movies was Wolverine vs. Gambit, but I think I've missed the last two X-Men movies.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at April 29, 2014 03:28 PM (HLprW)

176 It's a chick. Who spent some time working as a prostitute. And liked to cut herself. Posted by: junior at April 29, 2014 08:25 PM (UWFpX) Did she have Vagina dentata instead of claws?

Posted by: MikeH at April 29, 2014 03:28 PM (bRL1M)

177

@168 Why she wears that all encompassing uniform. Her ability to fly and such arose when she stole a good mutant's powers. Think at the order of Mystique and that mutant ended up in a coma. Or something.

----------------------

 

Ms. Marvel (who, afaik, wasn't all that popular back when it happened).  Then she got better powers.  And eventually got more new powers just like her old powers.

 

And is pretty popular these days.

 

Posted by: junior at April 29, 2014 03:28 PM (UWFpX)

178 Okay, yeah, the song choices in Watchmen were shit. And "Times They Are A Changin" wasn't even the worst. Leonard Cohen's "Halleluia" was the worst. True fact: when that song hit the charts, Cohen's rabbi kicked him out and threatened a Spinoza-level curse if he stepped anywhere near it on Shabbos.* *ok, no, but he should have done

Posted by: boulder t'hobo at April 29, 2014 03:28 PM (30eLQ)

179 Oh and this post is seriously lacking in links to itsjustsomerandomguy YouTube Channel.

Posted by: Buzzion at April 29, 2014 03:29 PM (qpT9y)

180 176 I still think the coolest scene in any of the X-Men movies was Wolverine vs. Gambit, but I think I've missed the last two X-Men movies. Posted by: Burn the Witch at April 29, 2014 08:28 PM (HLprW) Yeah.... good thing Gambit isn't Black though... then he'd have the unbeatable Race Card to throw around...

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 29, 2014 03:29 PM (84gbM)

181 Oh, and Heath Ledger as The Joker and Jackie Earle Haley as Rorsharch were sublime. ^This. Those performances were genius.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 29, 2014 03:29 PM (mx5oN)

182 DC and Marvel are still milking the Change Ethnicity and/or Make Em Gay tricks. I think. Have they had a tranny hero yet? In The Books of Magic Doctor Occult would become a chick, so I guess that kinda counts.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 29, 2014 03:29 PM (ZPrif)

183

@177 Did she have Vagina dentata instead of claws?

--------------------

 

No.  But you never, ever, EVER want her to kick you in the crotch.

 

Posted by: junior at April 29, 2014 03:29 PM (UWFpX)

184 I can see "Archie goes to Columbine" all over that cover The good news is lots of Betty & Veronica panty pillow fights Anyone else think that Jughead is a pillow biter?

Posted by: kbdabear at April 29, 2014 03:30 PM (aTXUx)

185 I am going to flip a coin. Heads, Watchmen. Tails... Dark Knight

Posted by: boulder t'hobo at April 29, 2014 03:31 PM (30eLQ)

186 Expanding on Third Pugg's comment: NewsBreaker ‏@NewsBreaker 1m NOW: @baileyelise from @AP on what appears to be a botched Oklahoma execution attempt tonight via @BuzzFeedNews pic.twitter.com/oLfs1SeKCd

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 29, 2014 03:31 PM (DmNpO)

187 Did someone say, "Blow a vein"?

Posted by: AIDS Boy at April 29, 2014 03:31 PM (D+5pt)

188 heads :^)

Posted by: boulder t'hobo at April 29, 2014 03:32 PM (30eLQ)

189 Wait'll they get a load of me.

Posted by: the Vajazzler at April 29, 2014 03:32 PM (5ikDv)

190

No. But you never, ever, EVER want her to kick you in the crotch.

Yeah, but I don't want ANYbody to kick me in the crotch. 

Posted by: bonhomme at April 29, 2014 03:32 PM (hG51H)

191 For the Deadpool fan, Sailor Deadpool at Project A-kon 24.  FB account

http://tinyurl.com/lu8noss

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2014 03:32 PM (W6ugU)

192 botched Oklahoma execution attempt tonight via @BuzzFeedNews pic.twitter.com/oLfs1SeKCd Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 29, 2014 08:31 PM (DmNpO) It's only botched if he lives.. ironic

Posted by: MikeH at April 29, 2014 03:32 PM (bRL1M)

193

@185 DC and Marvel are still milking the Change Ethnicity and/or Make Em Gay tricks. I think.

---------------------

 

And Islamic superhero card.

 

I think the winner in that particular contest is currently DC, who decided that their new Green Lantern is a car thief who follows Islam.  And who just happened to steal a car that had a bomb installed in it by a white guy who wanted to blow up a bridge to make people more worried about terrorism (I think - I might be misremembering the rationale, though).

 

Posted by: junior at April 29, 2014 03:32 PM (UWFpX)

194 NewsBreaker ‏@NewsBreaker 1m Official: Oklahoma inmate whose execution was botched has died; all 3 drugs were administered - @AP

Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 29, 2014 03:33 PM (DmNpO)

195 Fill a chamber with Helium... easy, painless, and sure.

Posted by: Romeo13 at April 29, 2014 08:30 PM (84gbM)<<<


And hilarious when the convict starts begging for air!

Posted by: one of the observers at April 29, 2014 03:33 PM (IlmuV)

196 And Islamic superhero card. With super decapitation powers!

Posted by: Insomniac at April 29, 2014 03:34 PM (mx5oN)

197

@197 Yeah, butI don't wantANYbody to kick me in the crotch.

-------------------------

 

Yes, well, remember how I mentioned this is Wolverine's female *clone* we're talking about?

 

*shudder*

 

Some kicks are significantly scarier than others...

 

Posted by: junior at April 29, 2014 03:34 PM (UWFpX)

198 165 Mysterious plane crash in the Southern Hemisphere. Posted by: CNN at April 29, 2014 08:25 PM (1UzRc) Leave the Uruguayan rugby team alooooooone!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/s] [/u] at April 29, 2014 03:35 PM (z/dJ6)

199
Well, if we're doing media news:

Cameron Diaz Reveals She's 'Been With A Lady'

http://tinyurl.com/l7w3t33



"What was it like?"

If it was Diaz circa The Mask, ok.  If it was the more recent leathery Cameron -- meh.


Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 29, 2014 03:35 PM (kdS6q)

200 Betty & Veronica Nerd Thread Compliance Pic http://tinyurl.com/mbg8o4d

Posted by: kbdabear at April 29, 2014 03:35 PM (aTXUx)

201 I don't keep up with comic books much anymore. That said, George Pratt's 'Enemy Ace' is one of the most treasured books on my shelves. The hand-painted art is simply beautiful and the story is incredibly good, truly a classic and arguably the best of that medium. Funny: I reread Alan Moore's Watchmen book not too long ago. It wasn't as good as I remembered.

Posted by: troyriser at April 29, 2014 03:35 PM (ptcFO)

202 208 Betty & Veronica Nerd Thread Compliance Pic http://tinyurl.com/mbg8o4d Posted by: kbdabear at April 29, 2014 08:35 PM (aTXUx) Oh my.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 29, 2014 03:36 PM (mx5oN)

203 Betty & Veronica Nerd Thread Compliance Pic
http://tinyurl.com/mbg8o4d


Thread winner.

Posted by: Bull Dyke at April 29, 2014 03:36 PM (D+5pt)

204 Official: Oklahoma inmate whose execution was botched has died; all 3 drugs were administered - @AP Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at April 29, 2014 08:33 PM (DmNpO) Botched? I'll show you botched!

Posted by: Eduard "Del" Delocroix at April 29, 2014 03:37 PM (aTXUx)

205 195 And now they are going to have a geezer Star Wars? Please...no. Not until Harrison Ford wraps up filming Indiana Jones and the Rhinestone Encrusted Bedpan.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/s] [/u] at April 29, 2014 03:38 PM (z/dJ6)

206 We can't even execute people right anymore.

Posted by: Soothie at April 29, 2014 03:38 PM (NRr9t)

207 All this being so Geek like reminds me.  Back to writing.  So I can get the criticism because that will mean I got published and popular. 

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2014 03:39 PM (W6ugU)

208 "What was it like?" G'day, squire!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/s] [/u] at April 29, 2014 03:39 PM (z/dJ6)

209

201 NewsBreaker Ăľ@NewsBreaker 1m
Official: Oklahoma inmate whose execution was botched has died; all 3 drugs were administered - @AP

 

----------

 

It was a new 3-drug combination that had "never been used on humans before".

 

The guy, named Lockett, died later of a heart attack.

 

They put a delay on the other guy, Warner, who was supposed to be executed tonight also.

 

Posted by: wheatie at April 29, 2014 03:39 PM (emg5o)

210 A botched execution? Marvelous. Here comes the whining and moaning.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at April 29, 2014 03:41 PM (oFCZn)

211 >>>We can't even execute people right anymore.

Posted by: Soothie at April 29, 2014 08:38 PM (NRr9t)<<<



We can do better.

Posted by: HHS at April 29, 2014 03:41 PM (IlmuV)

212 221 A botched execution? Marvelous. Here comes the whining and moaning. Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at April 29, 2014 08:41 PM (oFCZn) We should bring back firing squads.

Posted by: Insomniac at April 29, 2014 03:42 PM (mx5oN)

213 The geek density or destiny in this thread is approaching that of Unobtanium.

Posted by: GnuBreed at April 29, 2014 03:42 PM (wNF3N)

214
   A 7.62 round between the eyes is an inexpensive method of execution.

   Easy to administer and unfailing.

Posted by: irongrampa at April 29, 2014 03:43 PM (SAMxH)

215 He died of a heart attack. Well, don't we all eventually die of a heart attack? Heart stops, you die. And at some point everyone's ticker gives out.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at April 29, 2014 03:43 PM (oFCZn)

216 224 The geek density or destiny in this thread is approaching that of Unobtanium. Posted by: GnuBreed at April 29, 2014 08:42 PM (wNF3N) Kudos for the Back to the Future reference. Now hand over the keys to the DeLorean...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/s] [/u] at April 29, 2014 03:44 PM (z/dJ6)

217 225 A 7.62 round between the eyes is an inexpensive method of execution. Easy to administer and unfailing. Posted by: irongrampa at April 29, 2014 08:43 PM (SAMxH) A .22 behind the ear is better, less chance of the bullet exiting the skull

Posted by: Luca Brasi at April 29, 2014 03:44 PM (bRL1M)

218 Aren't the same drugs are used for euthanasia which leftists think is wonderful as for executions which leftists think is evil

Posted by: kbdabear at April 29, 2014 03:45 PM (aTXUx)

219

225
A 7.62 round between the eyes is an inexpensive method of execution.

 

Easy to administer and unfailing.

 

----------

 

Works for me. ...And a bullet is a lot cheaper than the 'lethal injection' bullshit.

Posted by: wheatie at April 29, 2014 03:45 PM (emg5o)

220 Nude up...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars™ [/i] [/s] [/u] at April 29, 2014 03:47 PM (z/dJ6)

221 OK, this is me doing the thing I really disapprove of, which is just posting to the comments thread without having read the comments. I have read the post, though, which is probably a demerit. In re: taking things seriously. Marvel did a "Civil War" series a few years back that was really attuned to the times. Should superheros be registered? Should they be government employees or freelancers. They split, according to character. And Marvel really really promised that whatever happened in Civil War was going to have permanent repercussions on all the characters (i.e. all of them) involved. And it was full of metaphors for the post 9/11 security state, and the Iraq war, and everything that was current. And you know what they did? They reneged. Oh, Spiderman revealed his identity but everyone had a cloud dream or something. Captain America got shot but he's back. Fuckers. Never trust them with your emotions.

Posted by: Frumious Bandersnatch at April 29, 2014 03:48 PM (1xUj/)

222 I'm still holding out for the visionary that will finally bring us ROM: Space Knight Also why bring out Quick Silver when Vision is much more interesting and actually married to the scarlet witch And what is with these directors choosing the weakest characters to bring to the screen. Why the fuck doesn't colossus have a bigger role? Bishop? Cable? Forge?

Posted by: Kreplach at April 29, 2014 03:52 PM (Qsf8l)

223 Also if your going to go all random marvel character why not Callisto?

Posted by: Kreplach at April 29, 2014 03:56 PM (Qsf8l)

224 154 JJ Abrams' "Star Wars" - let me guess. Lens flares. Wildly implausible coincidences. Death-Star-sized plot holes. Scenes included simply because they're wicked cool, even if they undermine the story. Bizarre character actions. Metaphysical McGuffins. Did I miss anything? Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at April 29, 2014 08:22 PM (4ckfx) HUGE FRICKIN' 'SPLOSIONS!!!! On a side note, I actually bought that Archie Meets the Punisher comic upon its release. Still got it around here, somewhere.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke's Solid Gold Diaphragm at April 29, 2014 04:03 PM (bHnlE)

225 236 I'm still holding out for the visionary that will finally bring us ROM: Space Knight Also why bring out Quick Silver when Vision is much more interesting and actually married to the scarlet witch And what is with these directors choosing the weakest characters to bring to the screen. Why the fuck doesn't colossus have a bigger role? Bishop? Cable? Forge? Posted by: Kreplach at April 29, 2014 08:52 PM (Qsf8l) Vision is a creation of ultron. Who's to say that he won't be in this one or a later one.

Posted by: Buzzion at April 29, 2014 04:04 PM (z/Ubi)

226 "And you know what they did? They reneged. Oh, Spiderman revealed his identity but everyone had a cloud dream or something. Captain America got shot but he's back. Fuckers. Never trust them with your emotions." The sad part is that what set Marvel apart from the static universes of DC and Archie was that they let their characters change. Peter Parker graduated from high school. Gwen Stacy died. Reed and Susan Richards started a family, Bucky stayed dead, etc.

Posted by: Blackford Oakes at April 29, 2014 04:05 PM (KVnkf)

227 As I noted at the link I'm just hoping Han Solo has a chance to jump into the Millenium Falcon's fridge in order to avoid a Death Star blast.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at April 29, 2014 04:09 PM (dvRYt)

228 208 Betty & Veronica Nerd Thread Compliance Pic http://tinyurl.com/mbg8o4d Posted by: kbdabear at April 29, 2014 08:35 PM (aTXUx) |sprints down to Pop's Chock'lit Shoppe|

Posted by: Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper at April 29, 2014 04:10 PM (HxSXm)

229 Why hasn't Hollwood remade Voltron, Thundercats and Robo Tech yet? What the fukc are they waiting for? Jeebsus my childhood memories need complete annihilation none of this halfway stuff.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at April 29, 2014 04:13 PM (dvRYt)

230 Toby McGuire and Warner Brothers for about six years have been 'working' on a life action Robotech movie...

It is still in development hell - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1103173/

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 29, 2014 04:15 PM (W6ugU)

231 @239 Vision is a creation of ultron. Who's to say that he won't be in this one or a later one. ------------------ From what I've heard, Vision will be in Avengers 2.

Posted by: junior at April 29, 2014 04:23 PM (vRodg)

232 Endless nostalgia worked so well for Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull.

Posted by: Bourbonchicken at April 29, 2014 04:26 PM (O+0br)

233 They put a delay on the other guy, Warner, who was supposed to be executed tonight also. Posted by: wheatie at April 29, 2014 08:39 PM (emg5o) The Russians and Chinese take the condemned into a small room, put him on his knees, and shoot a bullet in the back of his head, at the base of his neck, angled to destroy the medulla oblongata. Death is instantaneous, sure, and almost certainly painless. It seems brutal, I know, but if we're going to have the death penalty then we should dispense with the kindly theatrics and pretense of ultra-elaborate and supposedly more humane death machines and get the job done with as much dispatch as possible.

Posted by: troyriser at April 29, 2014 04:26 PM (ptcFO)

234 So, when are they doing a Fantomah movie?

Posted by: Stark Dickflüßig at April 29, 2014 04:30 PM (MbqmP)

235 Bruce died, and was taken beyond the rim. Showed up in the remake of Tron. He should maybe tell the Shadows to fuck off and time travel to Little House in My Prarie. That way, he could hang out with that little redhead presans freckles. You know you want to, dirty is OK in westerns.

Posted by: neal at April 29, 2014 04:40 PM (H5Xyz)

236 You know what would be better... Wolverine should join a boy band. That would be a great way to kill him.

Posted by: bleck at April 29, 2014 04:43 PM (ruoPh)

237 Marvel characters tend to stay killed off in the Ultimate series. Peter Parker, Logan, Victor Von Doom, Magneto. All killed - all still dead. (they get replacements! Parker ---> Milo Morales Logan ---> his son Von Doom ---> Reed Richards (!!!) I don't know who replaced Magneto - I think it was Quicksilver)

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at April 29, 2014 04:44 PM (h53OH)

238 Or they could have Jezebel readers trash him in a social media campaign... Force him to resign from the x-men and make professor x put claws on kitty prude to make up for years of claw inequality.

Posted by: bleck at April 29, 2014 04:45 PM (ruoPh)

239 I was never into the comics (thanks MOM!) but after I acquired my own money (NO thanks to you, MOM!) I would buy Mad Magazine and the Science and Mechanics Magazines. I wanted to laugh and learn not worry about fictitious character cartoons. (except on TV).

So. Are there any Black guys or terrorists and such in Archie?

If so does he get offed by one? Or does some homophobic crazy white guy with a million guns do him in?

You know; based on reality or fiction?

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Waiting For SMODOT) at April 29, 2014 04:48 PM (JS0vr)

240 I don't understand why they go to all the expense of these special drugs and such when all they'd have to do is buy a triple dose of whatever smack is going around and shoot the condemned up with that.

Ba da Bing, Ba da Boom as they say.

Cheap too. Hell they burn the stuff up after the trials are over for the dealers. Take some of that stuff. The police can't have all the fun you know.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Waiting For SMODOT) at April 29, 2014 04:51 PM (JS0vr)

241 Fear not comic action fans, all of these movies, remakes and even outtakes are ripe for Broadway--melding into the staid traditions of Marvel/DC the addition of   Marxist do-gooders, vulnerable transgendered children, syphylitic and crazy Catholic nuns, womyn role models, insanely racist Tea Partiers, demonic Banksters,  and  unbelievably super-rich and greedy Republican Presidents, of course.  Oh, with saving the environment from Gobal Warming caused by Big Oil and Carbon Producing Companies as the base evil to be thwarted.

"Brilliant, Cutting Edge, Transformative, Instructive and Must See" will write  reviewer Byron Wiggins Cockholster III of the Music/Stage/Arts/Entertainment section of the NY Times.

Posted by: eureka! at April 29, 2014 04:57 PM (q7DBM)

242 "Josh Wheedon" For the second time, Ace.... JOSS Whedon. I don't want to perform fellatio on the man like most genre nerds (his flaming leftism put an end to any of those ideas).....But I really hate spelling errors. /spelling and grammar asshole

Posted by: Hawkins1701 at April 29, 2014 05:02 PM (7aJyE)

243 I never gave a fuck, but, ah shit, I just never gave a fuck.

Posted by: Corona at April 29, 2014 05:07 PM (fh2Y7)

244 Josh Wheaton?

Posted by: Stark Dickflüßig at April 29, 2014 05:08 PM (MbqmP)

245 Loved reading Archie when I was a kid. As with sitcoms, they should stay away from drama stuff. Glad I stopped reading, like, 30 years ago. Good riddance.

Posted by: katya the designated driver at April 29, 2014 05:14 PM (4Chvm)

246 @256 Maybe he's doing that thing the Red Letter Media guys do and deliberately getting little things wrong as an act of low-level trolling/comedy (e.g., referring to Captain America's arch nemesis Red Skull as "Red Skeleton" while flashing a photo of Red Skelton on screen).

Posted by: Sandra Fluke's Solid Gold Diaphragm at April 29, 2014 05:15 PM (bHnlE)

247 Is Bruce Boxleitner still hot? I would see a movie just because he is in it.

Posted by: katya the designated driver at April 29, 2014 05:17 PM (4Chvm)

248 "Parker ---> Milo Morales " ============= Okay, I can't help myself. 1. It's Miles Morales, not Milo, and he is a terrific Spider-Man. He's so good, in fact, that there really is no reason why Peter Parker should ever have to be resurrected in the Ultimate Marvel universe. Yes, that flies in the face of history, but Marvel swears that he ain't coming back. I hope they stick with it. 2. It's "Spider-Man," dammit! It's not "Spiderman." He's a man-spider hybrid; he's not a damn CPA.

Posted by: Kensington (@NYKensington) at April 29, 2014 05:28 PM (uaEZS)

249 38 Von Sydow is also the Knight from The Seventh Seal. AND HE'S SWEDISH, so you'd really think Ace would be able to get behind his (inevitable) casting as some kind of evil Sith. (Or does he get a pass since he now has a French passport? ... didn't think so.) And come on, we all remember Oscar Isaac from Che Part 2: Guerrilla, right ...? Seeeriously though, if you didn't see Attack the Block then it's your own fault you don't remember John Boyega as the lead character. Sadly, if you had seen it, you'd remember him as the one who wasn't that great in it. I'm not sure whether it was a restrained performance of an underwritten part, or just slightly wooden.

Posted by: anonymous irishman at April 29, 2014 05:47 PM (DJgfL)

250 I've been waiting for it to happen for decades. Archie's dick finally exploded.

Posted by: TB at April 29, 2014 07:02 PM (8u/5i)

251 So what about Dash and Violet? Are they mutants or hybrids?

Posted by: What? at April 30, 2014 12:14 AM (Pzbap)

252 Max von Sydow: Jedi or Sith?

Posted by: Frank Underwood (D-SC) at April 30, 2014 01:58 AM (OpaBw)

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