March 30, 2006
— Ace All these years my Heavy Metal comics have been lying to me.
"Virgin Galactic," the private company planning to eventually begin sending up shuttles into space for space tourism, fears that implants may explode due to the cabin pressure (or lack thereof) on spaceflights. Something about the O-rings in breast implants, or something.
And so may ban anyone from flying who's had breast augmentation surgery.
Now, I have never heard of this so-called "breast augmentation surgery," and I imagine not many of you have, either. So Sky News (Rupert Murdoch's outfit, of course) is nice enough to include this picture with the story, just so you know what they're talking about:
There's no picture of space, or a designer's concept drawing of the Virgin Galactic shuttle. Nope. Those things you are free to imagine on your own.
But hyperinflated breasts? The story needed a picture of those, for purposes of "context." And, I guess, "nuance."
Not that I'm complaining. Just sayin'.
Thanks to the SkinerSphere.
Posted by: Iblis at March 30, 2006 01:56 PM (9221z)
lol! How come men's heads don't explode?
Posted by: shawn at March 30, 2006 02:03 PM (uLve2)
And, I guess, "bounce."
Posted by: Michael at March 30, 2006 02:19 PM (pRtzm)
Sorry, forgot Hooters Air went defunct. Would've been a good joke!
Day late and dollar short...
Posted by: ErikW at March 30, 2006 02:20 PM (9XChf)
Hey! Were's the picture of a heart exploding? I want to see circulation problems. What's with the hooter's babe gettin' in the way?
Posted by: Viking at March 30, 2006 02:22 PM (gXzaY)
Where have I been?
Posted by: Sticky B at March 30, 2006 02:23 PM (m908I)
Posted by: Colonel Jerry USMC(ret.) at March 30, 2006 02:25 PM (BJYNn)
Posted by: Canelone at March 30, 2006 02:28 PM (1Vbso)
In space there's no gravity, right? So they'll be all perky and high like ya'll likes em.
Posted by: kevlarchick at March 30, 2006 02:28 PM (BMMen)
Not that I studied the picture.
Posted by: Mike S at March 30, 2006 02:30 PM (vLi0S)
Posted by: Colonel Jerry USMC(ret.) at March 30, 2006 02:49 PM (BJYNn)
And I was hoping with your supersonic background you could help me get over my intense fear of flying. Always a price.
Posted by: kevlarchick at March 30, 2006 02:56 PM (8SLsn)
I officially do not want to be an astronaut when I grow up.
*sigh* it hurts.
Posted by: Dave in Texas at March 30, 2006 02:59 PM (U33qp)
According to the tests on Mythbusters...
Yeah, well, I can't honestly say I'm very impressed with Mythbusters. When they were trying to determine whether cellphones could ignite gasoline fumes, they did everything except press buttons on the phone; pressing a button shorts a couple of contacts, which could cause a spark.
Posted by: Anachronda at March 30, 2006 03:04 PM (jnCzJ)
I believe that closer examination is required, and some comparison photos would be nice too....
Just in the interest of science, you understand.....
Posted by: Lokki at March 30, 2006 03:06 PM (Tz1YF)
Posted by: kevlarchick at March 30, 2006 03:07 PM (8SLsn)
Whell, just so happens I have access to a Chek L-39 military training jet (2 ejection seats). Ain`t supersonic but will touch 430 knots.
As a former TopGun instructor, I believe you have the right stuff so I can make you lethal in one sortie. You will be too busy to even think about fear of flying.
And, au contraire, to your thesis, it will be FREE in every way! (K.O., not exactly---I wanna see your knife techniques...................)
Posted by: Colonel Jerry USMC(ret.) at March 30, 2006 03:08 PM (BJYNn)
Posted by: Canelone at March 30, 2006 03:10 PM (1Vbso)
430 knots? I don't do math in any form, but that sounds really, too fast. The wings might rip right off.
You don't understand, I have been known to grab the arm of a total stranger during turbulence and leave bruises.
I can't give up the blade, man. Ever. But if you allow me to pop a few Xanax, I'll show you what I got.
Posted by: kevlarchick at March 30, 2006 03:26 PM (8SLsn)
[cue Twilight Zone music]
Posted by: wiserbud at March 30, 2006 03:47 PM (56ssE)
Posted by: Rod Serling at March 30, 2006 04:51 PM (U33qp)
Posted by: Pork Linkletter at March 30, 2006 05:04 PM (1Vbso)
I have this idea to make breast implants out of a liquid, or even a gel-like substance, instead of helium like most are made of today. Silicon might work. Or, perhaps a saline solution.
And as a backup I would pressurize the cabin. That way eye-balls won't explode either.
Or, depending on the size of the yahboos maybe they would.
Posted by: Steve O at March 30, 2006 05:17 PM (R0Csm)
Posted by: ErikW at March 30, 2006 05:18 PM (9XChf)
430 knots is just a smidge over 7 miles per minute (probably the same as your trip from the house to the liquor store?)
Define "turbulance". Do you mean air turbulance or some other kind of mental turbulance on the ground? (...that could be important for a guy to know....)
You really don`t know what you are missing; it is pure, utterly total freedom just like an eagle.
Posted by: Colonel Jerry USMC(ret.) at March 30, 2006 05:26 PM (BJYNn)
Posted by: johnd01 at March 30, 2006 05:35 PM (cK6vz)
Posted by: at March 30, 2006 05:47 PM (9XChf)
Posted by: ErikW at March 30, 2006 05:51 PM (9XChf)
>There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today
>than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be
>a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and
>absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
Posted by: jbinnout at March 30, 2006 06:27 PM (ADqUB)
Posted by: Mike Superior at March 30, 2006 06:33 PM (K8G/M)
Posted by: Ed Snate at March 30, 2006 06:38 PM (BQ26L)
I was thinking, "Get off me, bitch." But she was kind of cute.
KC, have you been to New Zealand?
Posted by: Michael at March 30, 2006 07:15 PM (pRtzm)
Michael that is hilarious, wow what a charmer you are!
Posted by: bodaciousflirt at March 30, 2006 07:37 PM (HEjoD)
The first trips are due in early 2008 and will have room for only seven or eight people.
Celebrity passengers include former Dallas actress Victoria Principal.
Virgin is also in talks to get 75-year-old Star Trek actor William Shatner, who played Captain Kirk.
Wouldn't Shatner be prohibited from flight? I think he is a big, phoney boob. (But, that's just my opinion)
Posted by: at March 30, 2006 08:57 PM (EI+zd)
And by turbulence I mean when the plane jerks, gets thrown around by something completely invisible, like air. That makes me nuts. I'm just a chick who's surrounded by turbulence inside and out.
Mikey, never been over the Atlantic or Pacific. Reckon I'd have to be unconscious for that. Or have someone else paying for the trip. Or be traveling with a mysterious stranger.
Posted by: kevlarchick at March 31, 2006 02:26 AM (bWRxm)
Presumably, the doctor would just have to inject 10cc's of ~verytinymachines~ into each implant, and they'd set about their task of keeping the boobies safe for space travel.
Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 31, 2006 04:38 AM (PcDvW)
This might help you keep calm, the next time you fly, , try to remember that, with very few exceptions, the flight crew wants to live, too.
Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 31, 2006 04:41 AM (PcDvW)
Posted by: spongeworthy at March 31, 2006 04:58 AM (uSomN)
Posted by: kevlarchick at March 31, 2006 05:11 AM (aksJf)
Posted by: MagicalPat at March 31, 2006 05:36 AM (Epz9+)
Posted by: William Shatner at March 31, 2006 05:36 AM (APmYh)
Though I recognize the safety of air travel, I always put a business card in each of my shoes when I fly. I figure that will help speed up identification of the remains.
and I order two Jack Daniels and can of apple juice.
Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 31, 2006 05:47 AM (PcDvW)
Posted by: Dave in Texas at March 31, 2006 06:05 AM (pzen5)
K Chick what are you thinking say no?, sounds like fun!......sign me up!
Posted by: bodaciousflirt at March 31, 2006 06:37 AM (HEjoD)
I miss my job.
Posted by: Retired Geezer at March 31, 2006 06:45 AM (axBqL)
Posted by: take that hippy at March 31, 2006 11:02 AM (aZeDP)
Posted by: dorkafork at March 31, 2006 02:04 PM (ksDNy)
To be consistent, we need to complain about the words being shown cropped behind this model (after about the 4th view, I saw these letters)...
It don't take a Rocket Surgeon to figure out what the photographer thought of this model...
And... man she's got big jugs... I mean... that's just wrong and stuff (*gotta try for the sensitive play).
Posted by: Gekkobear at March 31, 2006 02:33 PM (uiClB)
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