August 31, 2007

Movies De Palma Should Have Made [Vinnie]
— Open Blog

Redacted: The true story of U.N. "peacekeepers" who rape and murder the people they're supposed to protect.

Redacted: The true story of how Stalin engineered the Ukrainian famine and how the New York Times lied about it.

Redacted: How the U.N. dragged its feet while American soldiers were dying in Mogadishu.

Redacted: How the Boston area Hobo disappearances are tied to the Boston area Valu-Rite Vodka shortage.

Feel free to leave your own suggestions in the comments.

Posted by: Open Blog at 06:33 PM | Comments (30)
Post contains 89 words, total size 1 kb.

1 That Hobo/Vodka thing is going to require some serious viewer particpation. It may well become the next Rocky Horror Picture Show. I wonder if Meatloaf is interested in the lead?

Posted by: Sticky B at August 31, 2007 06:46 PM (wkjFE)

2 Redacted: How communists have killed more people in the world's history than Christianists.

Redacted: Americans have saved more lives in wars they haven't fought but stopped from happening than in all the wars Americans have actually fought.

Posted by: Nom de Blog at August 31, 2007 06:56 PM (EkG0f)

3 Didn't he do "Honey I Shrunk the Kids"?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at August 31, 2007 07:07 PM (FXakj)

4 Dave,

   You're thinking of Scarface. Easy mistake.

Posted by: moviegique at August 31, 2007 07:10 PM (1y5Vr)

5

Redacted: How liberals and Hollywood elitists give terrorists the political clout to keep murdering civilians and drag-out the war.


Redacted: How Brian DePalma's hyper-violent materialist binging Scarface, inspired an entire generation of wannabe gangstas.


Redacted: How John Kerry committed warcrimes in Vietnam, but then didn't, but was then a hero.


Redacted: How those who serve are blood-crazed killers and those who don't are chickenhawks.


Redacted: Why patriots ought to be punching liberals in the throat, but aren't.


Redacted: 100 million broken eggs and not 1 goddamned omelet.


Redacted: How long your typical scantily-clad, booze-swilling, promiscuous, sexually deviant Hollywood elitist would survive under sharia law.


Redacted: Why Tookie Williams and Jumal Mumia are worth supporting but US troops are orth slandering.


Posted by: Mr Snuggle Bunny at August 31, 2007 07:28 PM (tK59/)

6 Redacted: How Coooba has the best medical care in the world, but Castro sends to Spain for doctors.

Posted by: hutch1200 at August 31, 2007 07:33 PM (QTItG)

7

Redacted: How conservative actors are Ostracized in Hollywood and only offered shit parts. Meanwhile liberal elitests will do every shit piece that comes down the pike for 20 million a shot, and bitch about low taxes are for the little man they so connect with, while hiding their earnings in offshore accounts. And they see nothing wrong with paying  $20 for 7 kids, while letting the rest of the village starve to death, only to have the child raised by an illegal Guatemalan nanny. Of course they get a Nobel prize for such meaningful efforts, because their hearts are in the right place. (JOLIPIT/ Madogga?)


Posted by: hutch1200 at August 31, 2007 07:48 PM (QTItG)

8 Redacted:  The true story of the 400,000 hamsters and gerbils killed by Brian De Palma shoving them up his ass.

Posted by: Hamster Liberation Front at August 31, 2007 08:11 PM (s62wo)

9 By 'redacted' I assume you mean 'rejected'? Nein?

• A self-immolating story about how our culture has become a never-ending   burlesque of marginally talented celebrities who are incapable of elevating the cultural content of our society. Where are the artists and writers that truly illuminate the human condition? And just why the fuck can I put a name to the face of Giovanni Ribisi pasted to the table of Barney's Beanery? Why, I ask.

• Dramedy concerning 3 friends, a minority, a female, and a homosexual, who simultaneously receive the revelation that in shaping their lives by the tenants of the secular religion of the left they have made themselves poor, stupid, and unhappy.

• WickedPinto - The Movie. Just tell me you wouldn't see it. Seriously.

Posted by: adamthemad at August 31, 2007 08:39 PM (ybmTm)

10 Walter Duranty was the NYT's correspondent in the Soviet Union during the collectivization famine in Ukraine. Duranty was the liar; he duped the Times (the editors were stupid and gullible: they wanted so much to believe that the Soviet Union under Stalin was indeed a utopia). Duranty won the Pulitzer Prize for the lies he passed off as objective reporting. Stalin saw to it that he was well-rewarded for his efforts. Meanwhile, 10 million Ukrainians died. That's right: 10 million. Not all by starvation, either. There was heavy fighting between Ukrainians and the Red Army.

There is a special place in hell for Duranty--next to Stalin, one would hope.

Never forget.

Posted by: Steve (the artist formerly known as Ed Snate) at August 31, 2007 08:39 PM (JEyIc)

11 How about a sequel to Body Double? No? OK, then all the ideas i had were posted already.

Posted by: hurricane567 at September 01, 2007 12:50 AM (W6yNO)

12 Redacted:  The patriotic implications of the phrase "Bush's war," coupled with your erroneous belief that he stole the Presidency.  Fuck you.

Posted by: Dr. Chopper at September 01, 2007 01:18 AM (6uQzT)

13 Redacted: Why the First ammendment protects solicitation of illegals to do illegal work for tax-free money, but not solicitation of women to to do illegal work to my love cannon for tax-free money.

Subtitle: The First ammendment might protect illegal immigrant hookers, we're not sure.

DVD bonus features: Deleted sex scenes with illegal immigrant scandi whores.

Posted by: dustydog at September 01, 2007 02:34 AM (aqV/Y)

14 Redacted: The gay cock porn of lies redacted from Brian DePalma's ass.

Posted by: nikkolai at September 01, 2007 03:04 AM (B1NVJ)

15 Redacted: The story of how Hollywood STILL smugly congratulates itself for some of it's members having stood up to the Horrors of the Blacklist, even though said members were helping to enable Stalin's mass murdering gulags and famines.

Posted by: stace at September 01, 2007 04:49 AM (A56/D)

16 "the Boston area Valu-Rite Vodka shortage."

I just want to be on record that I had nothing to do with that.

Posted by: Bostonian at September 01, 2007 04:59 AM (Z3lex)

17

Redacted: Video images of two airplanes hitting two really tall towers full of actual human beings, killing 3000 of them


Redacted: Images of body parts, dead children, blood and gore at the hands of terrorists in Israel


Redacted: Images of body parts, dead children, blood and gore at the hands of terrorists in Iraq, Pakistan, Afghanistan, etc.


Redacted: Video of the mangled bodies of our soldiers after terrorist IED attacks (oh, wait, they probably DO show that)


Redacted: Images of Sadaams mass graves, torture and rape rooms


 


Posted by: TMF at September 01, 2007 06:16 AM (+Ac3z)

18 I miss The Hollywood Black List.  I have quite a few names I'd've liked to have added to it, so I'd never see those particular idiots' work again.

Posted by: ushie at September 01, 2007 07:19 AM (8nB5X)

19 Redacted: Because Casualties of War is too important a message to not tell twice.

Posted by: Gordon at September 01, 2007 07:40 AM (8zF9q)

20 Redacted: a medieval epic of how the French King Charles ('the Hammer') Martel routed the Moslem armies at Tours in 732, thus stopping the Islamic advance into Europe from North Africa.

Redacted: how a young, patriotic California congressman named Richard Nixon teamed up with Time magazine editor Whitaker Chambers and exposed Alger Hiss, a top-level communist spy in the employ of the United States government, despite constant partisan opposition from liberal politicians, intellectuals, and newspaper editors.

Redacted: the true story of how Che Guevara served as Fidel Castro's executioner for many years, shooting many of the victims in the head himself.


Posted by: OregonMuse at September 01, 2007 08:30 AM (5UgG/)

21 redacted: the 'inside story' of how Ronald Reagan, Margaret Thatcher, and Pope John Paul II combined to checkmate the Soviet Union, eventually bringing it to its knees, despite the efforts of Mikhail Gorbachev and western intellectuals to keep it propped up.


Posted by: OregonMuse at September 01, 2007 08:34 AM (5UgG/)

22 Here's an interesting perspective De Palma missed in his delusional, military-loathing but deviance-seeking "dog-bites-man" movie:

Various military sources (such as globalsecurity.org) put the size of the U.S. presence in Iraq between 80,000 and 160,000. For simplicity, let's put that at an average presence of approximately 100,000 troops.

RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) estimates that 44% of these rapes are under the age of 18, with an average annual 200,780 victims in the U.S. (RAINN also indicates child rape is grossly underestimated, but we'll use the reported numbers in this estimate). Their estimates are that just less than 1 in 1000 in the population are victims, which projects to about 1 in 2500 in the population will be child victims.

US DOJ data for rapists per capita estimate approximately 50 per 100,000. Of these, ~20 are child rapists and ~1-3 are likely to result in the commission of murder associated with the event, per annum.

So my question is, why isn't De Palma intelligent enough to ask:

1. Why we aren't having 1-3 Iraqi children raped and murdered each year we're in Iraq, as the statistics would expect this frequency if the U.S. military in Iraq behaved no differently than citizens at home?

2. Why United Nations peacekeepers in the Congo and elsewhere in Africa are committing child sex crimes at a pace well in excess of statistical expectations?

It is curious that De Palma and other liberals who produce this garbage are too unintelligent to realize the data demonstrates the behavior of our troops is well superior to that of average americans, while the United Nations has some serious questions to answer. That De Palma directs attention away from real crimes of humanity and targets populations with exceptional behavior is proof of the fraud and deviance that constitutes liberalism.


Posted by: redherkey at September 01, 2007 09:04 AM (kjqFg)

23 Redacted: The memory of the "Bush Lied" crowd about Bill Clinton's, Al Gore's John Kerry's, Medline Albright's (fuck, just about every single important Democrat) position on Iraq and its WMD program, Saddam's support of terror and genocide, and formal calls for regime change.

Posted by: Moonbat_One at September 01, 2007 09:08 AM (OXGGT)

24

Hey, could we put a "Faraday Cage" around Hollywood to prevent their emissions from getting out into the real world?  Yes, I know that the subject of Faraday Cages may seem to be OT, but I have a hunch it is going to come up on this blog in the near future.  Don't ask me why.


Or even better, could we put a bell jar over Hollywood and pump out all the air?  That would "redact" a whole shitload of assholes. You'd need a good de-odorizing filter on the output of the pump of course.


Posted by: sherlock at September 01, 2007 10:22 AM (ojW85)

25 Redacted: How committing vehicular homicide by driving off a bridge in Massachusetts and leaving a young woman to drown is really no impediment to a life-long career in the US Senate.

Posted by: Doug at September 01, 2007 10:48 AM (o980l)

26 Redacted: How Sweet, Sweet, Nothing Violent Whatsoever Iran Chops the Heads Off  of Practicing Homosexuals (alternate title: Larry Craig Should be Glad he Didn't Tap his Toes in Tehran).

Redacted: Johnathan Demme's The Killing Fields.

Redacted: The Great Leap Forward.

Posted by: kevin at September 01, 2007 12:09 PM (xHPOo)

27

Redacted: How the ever humane Saddam Hussien regieme used plastic shredders on the opposition. 


If you confessed, they threw you in head first, if not, it was feet first, so that you would be able to feel yourself being chewed up. 


Posted by: BeachBumBill at September 01, 2007 01:22 PM (kGRBP)

28

Redacted:  The true story of how the Taliban took 23 South Koreans hostage, murdered a few, raped some more...  and got paid.


We punish our exceptions...  for the terrorists such behavior is their method.


 


Posted by: DANEgerus at September 01, 2007 06:07 PM (CsdQm)

29 Steve, formerly Ed Snate: Duranty has a blog. It's fucking hilarious.

Posted by: The Apologist at September 01, 2007 08:59 PM (JnBpK)

30

"Or even better, could we put a bell jar over Hollywood and pump out all the air?  That would "redact" a whole shitload of assholes. You'd need a good de-odorizing filter on the output of the pump of course."


We'd need to make the pump environmentally friendly - maybe get a couple of thousand bikes connected together, or we could just attach Rosie O'Donnell to the end of the tube and get her to suck. Hard.


Posted by: The Thin Man at September 02, 2007 07:39 AM (mGSdZ)

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