April 29, 2005

Mind Reading Machine For Sale on E-Bay
— Ace

First, he discovered a time machine in his attic; then, a shrinking machine.

Luckily, it turns out that his attic is just full of miracle gadgets from the far future. Otherwise he wouldn't have enough money to pay next month's subscription fees for Everquest.

I'm no expert, but it looks like it probably works to me. And the vendor himself... I don't know, he just has a look that to me projects authority and credibility.

But that's not all!

If you order now, you'll also receive:

1. the mind reading machine

2. two paper print outs of peoples thoughts

3. a postcard of four guys in a old car dated 1909 chicago, with unknown writting on back.

,,,

8. a german cook book from 1954

...

11. page out of the sunday news nov 15, 1936

High bid is currently $57 or so, which, to me, sounds like a freaking steal. I'd say just the German cookbook was worth that much.

Thanks to Rocketeer67.

Posted by: Ace at 09:11 AM | Comments (23)
Post contains 178 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Uh, that's from me, Ace, not OCD. OCD's just my employer.

Crap, think they're gonna figure out how much time I spend at this goofy blog instead of working?

Posted by: Rocketeer67 at April 29, 2005 09:18 AM (0PSV4)

2 I'm not publicly giving him a bid -- I can tell he he already knows.

Posted by: Tom Elia at April 29, 2005 09:37 AM (UMxoz)

3 James Lileks will be all over that shit, just for the newspaper and the postcard. He'll squeeze about 8,000 words and three columns out of them, too.

By the way, guy, we all can see that's the same device that Dr. Emmitt Brown wore in "Back to the Future." If you're going to run your scams, at least be original.

Posted by: Robb at April 29, 2005 09:55 AM (BAGYo)

4 Don't forget to put in the crystals before turning on the time machine.

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at April 29, 2005 10:15 AM (1g1Gp)

5 Is that you, Ace, posing as a potential buyer and asking the guy questions, like whether it will work on his pet fish?

I'm laughing so hard my co-workers are coming in to check on me.

Posted by: Finn McCool at April 29, 2005 10:16 AM (DiZv6)

6 He already sold the time machine for $650 (plus $40 in shipping).

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1469&item=5563490518

Posted by: Patrick at April 29, 2005 10:34 AM (Hdn6c)

7 "Don't forget to put in the crystals before turning on the time machine."

Uncle Ray bought the time machine. Kip is interested in the mind reading device.

Posted by: Napolean Dynamite at April 29, 2005 10:40 AM (Byr3j)

8 Items 4,5,6,7,9, and 10 on the list were Ace of Spades tshirts

Posted by: brak at April 29, 2005 10:52 AM (OuLOj)

9 It just dawned on me this fellow has a distinctly Northwest U.S. look about him. You don't suppose its hobg...nah, couldn't be.

Posted by: BrewFan at April 29, 2005 11:50 AM (Byr3j)

10 ha ha it is so funny
ho ho it is to laugh.

just you wait until I patent it, jokey-McJokemeister.

And the cookbook alone is worth every dime of the whole package

Posted by: hobgoblin at April 29, 2005 12:00 PM (2da3S)

11 Well, this is clearly a relic. The newer models have two parabolic satellite dishes instead of the lightning rods and wires.

Posted by: cole at April 29, 2005 12:53 PM (gkzA5)

12 I do like how the picture captures my eyes, though

Posted by: hobgoblin at April 29, 2005 02:47 PM (2da3S)

13 Judging from the picture, I'm sure that his is one mind I definitely do not want to read.

Posted by: OregonMuse at April 29, 2005 07:49 PM (x7WQa)

14 Hob, well I for one think you are hot in a nerdy sad pathetic kind of way. And the bright red flannel plaid is just icing on the cake baby.

What can I say....insanity turns me on.

;-)

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at April 30, 2005 10:05 AM (tLqLU)

15 I NEVER use Ebay without a BIN option, so he just lost a customer.

Not only do you get the mind reading machine, you get all the loose crap he found lying around it in his attic! Wow.

This is the BEST part...

"The mind reading machine does not work from what i could tell, but some one who knows electronics might be able to figure it out. "

And he has 13 bids on it. Who's worse off in life here, the bidders or the seller? It's just too close to call.

Later,
bbeck

Posted by: bbeck at April 30, 2005 04:55 PM (qF8q3)

16 it works napoleon. you don't even know.

Posted by: anna at May 02, 2005 06:28 AM (pXniV)

17 http://www.anotheruniversesucks.org/kxkfxsfg/ judgment danielsstolewait

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18 http://www.jetc.com/wwwboard/messages/42922.html giddyinsistedtongues

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19 http://www.annbaldwin.com/forum_one_msg/5475.htm complimentwhosewondered

Posted by: clubs at October 02, 2005 09:49 PM (6FNio)

20 http://www.blackfire.net/wwwboard/messages/8533.html clungglisteningkeyboard

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