March 30, 2007

Michael Jackson Wants 50-Foot Robot of Himself That Shoots Laser Beams From His Eyes
— Ace

Well, so do I. So what?

I know: But Michael Jackson can actually make this happen, whereas I can't.

I don't think so. I think we're both in the same not-enough-money-for-a-50-foot-doppleganger-robot boat.

One of us is simply sane enough to realize that.

Michael Jackson is in discussions about creating a 50-foot robotic replica of himself to roam the Las Vegas desert, according to reports.

The pop legend is currently understood to be living in the city, as he considers making a comeback after 2004's turbulent child sex case.

It has now been claimed that his plans include an elaborate show in Vegas, which would feature the giant Jacko striding around the desert, firing laser beams.


Luckman Van Pier, his partner at the company behind the proposal, claims blueprints have been drawn up for the show and seen by the star.

Wow. He's even got blueprints.

"Michael's looked at the sketches and likes them," he told the New York Daily News.

On the subject of the robot, he continued: "It would be in the desert sands. Laser beams would shoot out of it so it would be the first thing people flying in would see."

Well, Vegas is forever trying to sell itself as a "family friendly" vacation destination. Nothing can be more reassuring to parents than to know there's a 50 foot Michael Jackson robot prowling around the city, plying their children with wine and pornography.

I've got to get Yaron from the Daily Lunch in touch with Jacko:


He could make a fortune doodling little robots for the fey freak. Could use it to cover the bandwidth for his new-ish site.

Thanks to Drew, who writes, "It's almost an old story, so I understand if you want to sit on it for a few days until it's officially old."

Hah. Yeah, I saw it on Hot Air. Figured everyone else did. Also figured the odds of this ever happening are about as good as Kramer ever building his apartment into "nothing but levels."

Snark: Tushar--

All the 10 foot Robots in the world are getting uneasy at the news.

Posted by: Ace at 11:39 AM | Comments (19)
Post contains 379 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Has Jackson paid off all his creditors? It can't be cheap to live in a hotel in Vegas.

Posted by: Red at March 30, 2007 11:42 AM (aye0J)

2 Wow. Notice that he didn't say where the laser beams would shoot out from.

Posted by: Driver at March 30, 2007 11:42 AM (aIraZ)

3 All the 10 foot Robots in the world are getting uneasy at the news.

Posted by: Tushar D at March 30, 2007 11:47 AM (m1bmI)


Tushar, dude, who's writing your jokes?  You do NOT pay him enough.

Posted by: Rocketeer at March 30, 2007 11:53 AM (GFaLW)


He could make a fortune doodling little robots...

That's what I was thinking!

I don't even care about the fortune part; I'll do it for free. 

Posted by: 50-foot Michael Jackson-bot at March 30, 2007 11:53 AM (Q7Cxs)

6 Nice going, Tushar.  Your comment broke the blog.

Posted by: sandy burger at March 30, 2007 11:56 AM (Cpse7)



Posted by: Joe Mama at March 30, 2007 12:03 PM (0rl7n)

8 Pedoborg.

Posted by: Rocketeer at March 30, 2007 12:07 PM (GFaLW)


This might even be too tasteless for Vegas.

I would rather see a 50 foot robot of Tito or Jermaine.

Posted by: Rosetta at March 30, 2007 12:20 PM (omkIU)

10 Heh, good one Tushar.

Posted by: Sinistar at March 30, 2007 12:27 PM (bSYRF)


Michael Jackson has alot in common with K-Mart.







They both have boys underwear half-off.. 

Posted by: captkidney at March 30, 2007 01:24 PM (uQDzC)

12 Well at least it's not a statue of LaToya it would turn people to stone.

Posted by: pajama momma at March 30, 2007 01:33 PM (Pzdiv)

13 I'm surprised that Jackson has enough money to even get a design down.  Didn't he declare bankruptcy a year ago?

Posted by: John at March 30, 2007 01:45 PM (ACvmx)

14 Would a 50' Macy's balloon of Jackson with a old Geo Tracker for feet count as a robot?  Because I think that is about all he could afford at this point.

Posted by: B Moe at March 30, 2007 02:04 PM (+SfeF)

15 Thank you guys!
I will be here all week*

*Whatever the fuck that means.

Posted by: Tushar D at March 30, 2007 02:31 PM (9ULFg)

16 I understand the pilot model got caught in bed with Bob's Big Boy...

Posted by: richard mcenroe at March 30, 2007 03:13 PM (clI2H)

17 This is an anatomically correct robot I presume? 

Posted by: Purple Avenger at March 30, 2007 03:29 PM (yikpN)

18 I say throw some gatling guns and hellfire
missile launchers on that 50 ft walking tin can and send it  to Iran to get the Brits.

Posted by: Dillinger at March 30, 2007 05:41 PM (KUnOL)

19 A 50ft robot is OK with me as long as the Air Force pilots that use it for target practice post vidoes on youtube!

Posted by: bicyea at March 31, 2007 01:27 PM (1U+5f)

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