July 30, 2004

Maybe Time for a Haiku Contest?
— Ace

How about another haiku contest? They can be about Kerry, the convention, or the campaign generally; if there are enough entrants about a particular subject, like Oliver Willis, Joshy Marshall, or Andrew Sullivan, I'll spin off separate categories for those, too.

Lauraw offers the opening entrant, I guess in the General Election category:

Wild Reeds dancing in Summer Storm

Global warming ends
When Kerry is elected;
Teresa's nucking futs

No loose shit/integrity categories this time; that was just a big pain in the ass last time around, as I had to sit there counting syllables to make sure "integrity" entries had the right number. Just make it look vaguely like a real haiku and it's close enough.

I'll keep the contest open until Wednesday, then announce winners on Friday.

Or something.

Winners will be chosen by a celebrity (ahem) panel of myself, Smitty, Johnny Coldcuts (assuming he's alive), Geoffrey the Duck, and perhaps a special mystery guest judge of surpassing "conscious" and integrity.

Posted by: Ace at 09:08 AM | Comments (235)
Post contains 175 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Lefty bloggers shout:
"Big story coming! Hush hush!"
Crickets chirping still.

Posted by: Christopher Cross at July 30, 2004 09:20 AM (oYuAQ)

2 These Dems are Putzes;
The weak big spenders will lose
come Two November.

Posted by: ibejo at July 30, 2004 09:23 AM (TQ4G6)

3 While in the archives
Berger reminded us why
we call him "pantload"

Posted by: Senator PhilABuster at July 30, 2004 09:37 AM (UHfuz)

4 That guy who freaked out
About the fucking balloons
Sounded like Anka.

Posted by: Allah at July 30, 2004 09:40 AM (EeR5C)

5 John gives a salute
"Reporting for Duty!" he says
Limp wristed and all

Posted by: Christopher Cross at July 30, 2004 09:42 AM (oYuAQ)

6 Integrity man--
Hammer-like, slicing water--
The gerbil still lives!

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos at July 30, 2004 09:42 AM (BPhem)

7 Entitled, "A Day at the FleetCenter"

Jimmy Carter Rants
Botoxed skin and shiny hair
Michael Moore ate cheese

Posted by: Scout at July 30, 2004 09:45 AM (JQeMB)

8 Chance Meeting in Spanish Harlem

Mira! Mira! Come here.
Are you a model? You should be.
Sucky-sucky five bucky. Si?

Posted by: Geoffrey the Duck (ineligible entry) at July 30, 2004 09:46 AM (iog7U)

9 Wolf Crouches Under Pines

No more Bush-Bashing
We're happy, shiny people
Shut the fuck up Al

Posted by: lauraw at July 30, 2004 09:46 AM (B5xiy)

10 Filet-O-Fish

Cod-patty, batter-dipt and
fried; a golden-brown treasure
in a blue polyfoam box.

Posted by: Oliver Willis (ineligible entry) at July 30, 2004 09:49 AM (iog7U)

11 Sigh. I am so happy you did this. Who won the phallic C3PO card last time? I want another shot at that. Mom's birthday is coming up soon.

Posted by: lauraw at July 30, 2004 09:50 AM (B5xiy)

12 "Sully's Choice"

Only when gays wed
Will civilization be
Worth defending.

I left off the last syllable as a silent protest against the religious right.

Posted by: Allah at July 30, 2004 09:52 AM (EeR5C)

13 Inspired by Christopher Cross:

Sources

My sources inform me
CNN has the goods on the Plame matter
I cannot say more at the moment.

Posted by: Joshua Micah Hezekia Bucephalus Kobyashi Boutros-Boutros-Boutros Marshal at July 30, 2004 09:53 AM (iog7U)

14 Hate George Bush, I do
But salad is scarier
Unless it's deep fried

Posted by: Michael Moore at July 30, 2004 09:54 AM (JQeMB)

15 Make sure that if you post under a different name, you add (via YOUR NAME) in the line somewhere, so you can be credited.

Assuming you want credit.

And assuming, of course, that that last poem wasn't actually written my Michael Moore.

Who knows? Maybe he's a big fan.

Posted by: ace at July 30, 2004 09:56 AM (iog7U)

16 Hope Rides the Wind
Hope is on the Way!
Please! Help us help the helpless!
Goose farts in the wind.

Deliverance
Edwards pumps his fist
Energetic and youthful;
Such a pretty mouth

Posted by: Dave Pasquino at July 30, 2004 09:56 AM (OaTVj)

17 "Timing"

Sid jizzed on my face
Before I was ready. His
Timing was suspicious.

An extra syllable in tribute to his extra name.

Posted by: Joshua Farquhar Marshall at July 30, 2004 09:57 AM (EeR5C)

18 OK, it was really me. The Michael Moore entry, I mean. I wouldn't normally cop to it, but lauraw said something about a C3PO prize . . .

Posted by: Scout at July 30, 2004 09:58 AM (JQeMB)

19 "Joshua Micah Hezekia Bucephalus Kobyashi Boutros-Boutros-Boutros Marshal"

Haha.

You sure do have a funny name.

Posted by: Obama-wama-fo-flama at July 30, 2004 09:59 AM (BPhem)

20 Timing

The GOP convention
is scheduled just in time for
the vote. How convenient.

Posted by: Joshua Micah Hezekiah Bucephalus Kobyashi Boutros-BoutrosMarshall at July 30, 2004 09:59 AM (iog7U)

21 Kerry's Heros
Walk on, flash peace signs
A dirty bakers dozen,
Where are the others?

Posted by: Dave Pasquino at July 30, 2004 10:01 AM (OaTVj)

22 My balls flap free; my
penis stands proud, strong, erect.
Ah, Provincetown.

Posted by: New Democrat at July 30, 2004 10:02 AM (EeR5C)

23 If we catch Osama
While Bush is still in office
Then the terrorists have won.

Posted by: Joshua Blumenthal Marshall at July 30, 2004 10:04 AM (EeR5C)

24 "Staff Ass"

Cab ride to his place,
four-hundred dollars on the dresser,
Book entitled Bunghole Blitz.

Posted by: Jessica "Washingtonienne" Cutler at July 30, 2004 10:04 AM (iog7U)

25 Balloons not falling on cedars

We need more balloons
There's not enough coming down
What the fuck you guys

Posted by: Some guy at the DNC at July 30, 2004 10:06 AM (BPhem)

26 "Untitled"

Open your mouth wide, strain-
ing your jaw; cram me all in
Eat me. I'm a sandwich.

Posted by: Johnny Coldcuts, from Death Row at July 30, 2004 10:06 AM (iog7U)

27 Bill Clinton's Thoughts

That Kerry's a putz
Give me back the spotlight, now!
Hillary scares me

Posted by: Scout at July 30, 2004 10:08 AM (JQeMB)

28 Q & A

Do you know who I am?
Have you any idea? I am
the only important one on that stage.

Posted by: John Forbes Kerry at July 30, 2004 10:11 AM (iog7U)

29 Hillary's thoughts

Hi there JFK
If you feel a knife in your back
Don't worry, its me

Posted by: lauraw at July 30, 2004 10:12 AM (B5xiy)

30 Things We Talk About

"Crunchy-cons;" Star Trek; Hobbits;
Derbyshire math-geekery; malmite
Sometimes politics, when we find the time.

Posted by: NRO's The Corner Contributors at July 30, 2004 10:16 AM (iog7U)

31 You know I'm a fan
And Johnny Coldcuts just rules
My big stinking ass.

Posted by: michael moore at July 30, 2004 10:17 AM (zqLrp)

32 Hey, Johnny Coldcuts!
You look so very tasty...
GET IN MY BELLY!

Posted by: Michael Moore at July 30, 2004 10:18 AM (sBIVx)

33 Animated corpse
Ken doll chases ambulance
Four more years for Bush

Posted by: zetetic at July 30, 2004 10:18 AM (Y7NDU)

34 Oliver Willis:
Ruminant explosions spread
Methane through the air.

Fart clouds over grass:
Gluttonous beast senses it;
Michael Moore sprongs wood.

Earth shakes and rattles!
Fleshy juggernauts rampage!
Lovers come to meet!

Beauty blinds her eyes,
Reason flees upon the wind:
Chunky boys drop trou.

Elephants couple
In grand ponderosity;
Sullivan gets hot.

Posted by: ccwbass at July 30, 2004 10:23 AM (qg4dU)

35 "Beyond Befuddled"

References I don't understand.
Mentions of "liberal" lose me in the fog.
IS THIS SARCASTIC? I DON'T GET IT.

Posted by: Coulter's Editor at USAToday at July 30, 2004 10:24 AM (iog7U)

36 Release the bounce now!
Hold confetti, where's the bounce?
Waiting... waiting... f$@k!

Posted by: Jonny Catbird at July 30, 2004 10:24 AM (sBIVx)

37 codeword-secret files
the chafing is ungodly
should've just left them

Posted by: Longshanks at July 30, 2004 10:25 AM (dRZj8)

38 That should have been me
Up there on that stage. So sad.
Bring a beer, Tipper.

Posted by: Eric A. at July 30, 2004 10:25 AM (0PSV4)

39 Confetti falling
like lotus blossoms at dusk
WHERE'S MY DAMN BALLOONS?!?

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 10:25 AM (sBIVx)

40 JFK served in Nam?
Who knew? And
when did they know it?

(well, I thought it was funny)

Posted by: Glen at July 30, 2004 10:27 AM (go2A+)

41 Ted Kennedy:

"The only thing to
fear is four more years with Bush...
is that an airplane?"

Posted by: Jonny Catbird at July 30, 2004 10:28 AM (sBIVx)

42 Digital brownshirts
Are really bringing me down -
Do you still love me?

Posted by: Al Gore at July 30, 2004 10:28 AM (0PSV4)

43 Andrew Sullivan:

Yes, John Forbes Kerry:
Conservative Candidate.
Pay for my bandwidth!

Posted by: at July 30, 2004 10:30 AM (sBIVx)

44 Thanks for Your Donations

Blogging will be light
for the next three months or so
(Madonna concert).

Posted by: Sully at July 30, 2004 10:34 AM (0PSV4)

45 Dan Rather:

Cheney is a hitman
and Bush is an idiot
but I'm unbiased.

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 10:35 AM (sBIVx)

46 Great one, Sully. Right up my particular alley.

Posted by: ace at July 30, 2004 10:38 AM (iog7U)

47 Good haikus all around. Keep them coming.

Posted by: ace at July 30, 2004 10:39 AM (iog7U)

48 Glenn Reynolds:

Kerry's Acceptance:
I'll allow comments for once.
Heh. Read the whole thing.

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 10:39 AM (sBIVx)

49 Goodbye, Johnny Coldcuts.

I will not donate, Ace.
For unless I stand firm now
No sandwich is safe.

Posted by: Eric A. at July 30, 2004 10:41 AM (0PSV4)

50 Vanessa and Alexandra

Get away from him
Daddy promised Ben to me
Here come a bitch slap

Posted by: Scout at July 30, 2004 10:43 AM (JQeMB)

51 Un-a-MEHR-ih-cuhn?
Oh, you're from the Trib Review.
Typical. Shove it!

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 10:45 AM (sBIVx)

52 the economy
those tax cuts turned it around
now what do I say?

Posted by: Longshanks at July 30, 2004 10:46 AM (dRZj8)

53 Hillary cries in
shame when she hears her
penis was showing

Andrew Sullivan
Now loves Clinton since he heard
First couple was gay.

Joshua Micah
De Gaul Van Halen Du Lake
Wilson-Marshall

Posted by: Vass at July 30, 2004 10:47 AM (omyxt)

54 John Edwards:

Why did Obama
say there's one America?
There are two, damn it!

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 10:48 AM (sBIVx)

55 A nation afraid
Kerry, Edwards, at the helm?
Lies fomenting lies


Purple Hearts for all
Did you serve in Vietnam?
I got it on tape


I will save you all
Hair pollution is the threat
Put your trust in me


Out of touch with all
Simply because I’m better
Than my fellow man

Posted by: Professor Chaos at July 30, 2004 10:48 AM (xrqfh)

56 My campaign slogan:
"Yes, I served in Vietnam."
Why do I need more?

Posted by: physics geek at July 30, 2004 10:50 AM (Xvrs7)

57 Oliver Willis:

Yes, that's what I am:
"Like Kryptonite to Stupid"...
feeling... so weak... now...

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 10:50 AM (sBIVx)

58 "My Acceptance Speech"

Strength. Courage. Resolve.
Stronger. Security. Weapon. Military.
A missing word: Victory.

Posted by: John Forbes Kerry at July 30, 2004 10:51 AM (iog7U)

59 Viet Nam redux
We need more f*cking ammo!
happy balloons fall

a Tree spoke last night
Leaves of ponderous pedant
i don't feel safe yet

Posted by: Haiku Ronin at July 30, 2004 10:53 AM (VKFG/)

60 Josh Marshall:

Iraq keeps us from
finding al-Qaeda. Wait, what?
Suspicious timing!

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 10:55 AM (sBIVx)

61 John Kerry is like
the Persian Xerxes. George Bush
is Themistocles.

Posted by: VDH at July 30, 2004 10:58 AM (0PSV4)

62 Moore fans:

We've lost our free speech!
Fahrenheit 9/11
proves to us that's true!

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 11:00 AM (sBIVx)

63 VDH, a Brit?
He must be. Yanks are too dumb
for his last haiku

Posted by: Johnny Catbird, for Michael Moore at July 30, 2004 11:03 AM (sBIVx)

64 A Gold Plated Versace Server

A few dollars more,
and I can upgrade to some
fabulous bandwidth!

Posted by: Sully at July 30, 2004 11:03 AM (0PSV4)

65 John Kerry:

For it. Against it.
For. Against. For. Um, against.
It's nuance, people!

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 11:06 AM (sBIVx)

66 blueberry muffins
growing herbs in my garden
getting used to this

Posted by: Saddam at July 30, 2004 11:06 AM (dRZj8)

67 Stomach acids roil;
Johnny Coldcuts screams in pain:
"Motherfuckin' jerk!"

Anka hears the cry,
Wipes a tear on his finger
With integrity.

Posted by: ccwbass at July 30, 2004 11:07 AM (qg4dU)

68 John Kerry:

'Nam. 'Nam. 'Nam. 'Nam. 'Nam.
'Nam. 'Nam. 'Nam. 'Nam. 'Nam. 'Nam. 'Nam.
'Nam. 'Nam. 'Nam. 'Nam. 'Nam.

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 11:09 AM (sBIVx)

69 A Time For Nuance

People of good will
Hold different views on Iraq.
For example, me

Posted by: Yaron at July 30, 2004 11:09 AM (BSe7C)

70 The Democrat Medes
will prove to be no match for
GOP hoplites.

Posted by: VDH at July 30, 2004 11:11 AM (0PSV4)

71 John Kerry:

I'm strong on defense
Doubling our military
(but Baghdad can burn)

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 11:11 AM (sBIVx)

72 Johnny Catbird: Dude!
You're on a fuckin' roll, man.
Excellent haikus.

Posted by: ccwbass at July 30, 2004 11:19 AM (qg4dU)

73 John Kerry:

I love to hunt deer
while crawling with my shotgun
(my butler hunts for me)

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 11:20 AM (sBIVx)

74 Hillary Clinton:

I know a good leader
when I see one! (There's Kerry)
(Don't make eye contact)

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 11:24 AM (sBIVx)

75 John Edwards' Epiphany

Whachew mean VPs
can't sue for contingency?
WHY WASN'T I TOLD?

Posted by: Eric A. at July 30, 2004 11:26 AM (0PSV4)

76 Thanks for the praise, man.
I can count syllables fast
like f'n Rain Man

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 11:26 AM (sBIVx)

77 Western Civ imperiled
Threat of Islamofascism
Bear jizz in my eye

Posted by: Bill from INDC at July 30, 2004 11:26 AM (yZMsp)

78 Max and John, brothers
He has no leg to stand on
Giving his stump speech

Posted by: Christopher Cross at July 30, 2004 11:29 AM (oYuAQ)

79 John Kerry:

Hey NASA, take a picture!
Then send it out so I can
blame the GOP

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 11:30 AM (sBIVx)

80 Hutt Haiku

Fat Michigan man
I've seen better film on teeth
His beard looks like pubes

Posted by: zetetic at July 30, 2004 11:31 AM (Y7NDU)

81 Argh.... first one I've messed up; moved the 2nd line up and didn't trim it. Here's the proper one.


NASA, take a pic!
Then send it out so I can
blame the GOP

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 11:32 AM (sBIVx)

82 PSST - Hey, J. Kerry -
Affleck's banging your daughter
(it's the ugly one).

Posted by: Page Six at July 30, 2004 11:32 AM (0PSV4)

83 Sandy Berger cleared
It says in the WSJ
"Not so fast" - Newsmax

Posted by: zetetic at July 30, 2004 11:35 AM (Y7NDU)

84 Carry the world's weight
On my broad, furry shoulders
Think I have a cold

Posted by: Bill from INDC at July 30, 2004 11:37 AM (yZMsp)

85 I'll believe the news
Sandy Berger's been cleared when
DEBKAFILE says so.

Posted by: Eric A. at July 30, 2004 11:38 AM (0PSV4)

86 Ah, ten year-old scotch
My face keeps getting wider
Thought the bitch could swim

Posted by: Bill from INDC at July 30, 2004 11:40 AM (yZMsp)

87 William Jefferson
Cigar is not just cigar
Many felonies

Posted by: zetetic at July 30, 2004 11:40 AM (Y7NDU)

88 Here's our new weapon:
It fires principles at...
Why are you laughing?

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 11:41 AM (sBIVx)

89 Bush equals Hitler!
Our president is stupid!
Now show us respect!

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 11:44 AM (sBIVx)

90 Hey, Johnny Catbird,
you sure write a mean haiku.
Do you like beagles?

Posted by: Sully at July 30, 2004 11:47 AM (0PSV4)

91 "More! More Kerry Girls for My Centurions!"

You're sexy. Let's talk politics.
I need to be on you, baby. Bush sucks.
Wait-- I wanted the one with the nipples.

Posted by: Ben Affleck at July 30, 2004 11:47 AM (iog7U)

92 Vote Kerry/Edwards
and gain world's respect, dhimmi!
Ululululu!

Posted by: Fatima at July 30, 2004 11:50 AM (0PSV4)

93 Andrew Sullivan:

Bush hates gay marriage
al-Qaeda would cut my head off
We must vote Kerry!

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 11:53 AM (sBIVx)

94 The Media:

Oil-for-food? Sudan?
What are you talking about?
Abu Ghraib! Bush lied!

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 11:58 AM (sBIVx)

95 Effortlessly...

Insipid wing nuts
murder verse relentlessly.
Dead dog learns new trick

Posted by: Rashomon at July 30, 2004 11:59 AM (u5W1o)

96 "Email of the Day"

I agree with whatever
you said about the FMA.
You're a true independent.


"Email of the Day II"

It amazes me that Virginia
wants to ban civil unions.
Your independence amazes me, too.


"Email of the Day III"

They can't buy dildoes in
Birmingham, in Bush's Amerikkka.
You are a brave, independent voice.

Posted by: Andrew Sullivan at July 30, 2004 12:00 PM (iog7U)

97 Andrew Sullivan:

I do not like Bush
(hey, double entendre, neat)
Donate twenty bucks!

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 12:02 PM (sBIVx)

98 Moonbat, go away
Democratic Underground
Is much more your speed

Posted by: zetetic at July 30, 2004 12:05 PM (Y7NDU)

99 "Sour Grapes of Wrath"

Liberal troll pokes head in,
insults. Seething with envy.
It's called comedy. Try it.

Posted by: ace at July 30, 2004 12:05 PM (iog7U)

100 "Screw Them"

Why should I care about a
few mercenary murderers? Ooooh--
a victory. How convenient.

Posted by: Democratic Underground at July 30, 2004 12:07 PM (iog7U)

101 Jimmy Carter:

Bush? Incompetent!
His foreign policies suck!
(forget Tehran, please)

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 12:07 PM (sBIVx)

102 "Timing II"

Liberal girlie-man shows up
just when we're doing haiku.
I question the timing.

Posted by: ace at July 30, 2004 12:10 PM (iog7U)

103 Ace Haiku Primer

Use five syllables,
Then use seven syllables,
Then five, or loose shit.

Posted by: Dave Pasquino at July 30, 2004 12:11 PM (OaTVj)

104 "From a Moore-on"

I love Michael Moore
He may not tell the truth, but
Hey, it's comedy!

Posted by: zetetic at July 30, 2004 12:17 PM (Y7NDU)

105 What Is The Sound of One Man Crapping?


Boston Harbor bleeds.
Man the swiftboats, Kerry;
Spielberg's on the phone.

Posted by: Sailor Kenshin at July 30, 2004 12:18 PM (+/E/x)

106 Osama Bin Laden:

I'm a foreign leader
(in Spain and the Phillipines)
Support John Kerry!

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 12:21 PM (sBIVx)

107 But I am laughing

I dangle the bait
for a hungry wingnut bard.
Voila, a punchline.

Posted by: at July 30, 2004 12:25 PM (u5W1o)

108 I can't go out on a 6-7-5.

How about:

I lead two nations
1) Spain, 2) the Phillipines
Support John Kerry!

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at July 30, 2004 12:26 PM (sBIVx)

109 I have to add these in response to the jackarse from the DU:

A band of cowards
Democratic Underground
Lead us to defeat


To live free or die
Democratic Underground
Hopes our nation dies


You hate my country
Democratic Underground
Why not move to France?

Posted by: Professor Chaos at July 30, 2004 12:27 PM (xrqfh)

110 Professor Chaos:

The Country is not
yours alone you simple fool.
move to France yourself.

Posted by: at July 30, 2004 12:33 PM (u5W1o)

111
"Dave Pasquino"

Dave Pasquino
demands strict syllabalation.
I suspended those rules. Because they're a pain in the ass. A big pain in the ass. Too many syllables? Tough.

Posted by: ace at July 30, 2004 12:50 PM (iog7U)

112 So-called liberals
Would not tolerate free speech
At the convention

Posted by: rdbrewer at July 30, 2004 12:54 PM (2LE6C)

113 Roses are red
Violets are blue
Eat my shit, DU

Posted by: rdbrewer at July 30, 2004 12:55 PM (2LE6C)

114 They say I have class
They say I am exotic
But really I'm just a trashy bitch with a lot of money.

Posted by: rdbrewer at July 30, 2004 12:58 PM (2LE6C)

115 I find the timing
Of Ace's haiku contest
Very suspicious

Posted by: Joe R. at July 30, 2004 01:01 PM (DHwcf)

116 Ode to rdbrewer...

Suspend semantic
rule; the witless can't survive
rigorous haiku

Posted by: at July 30, 2004 01:12 PM (u5W1o)

117 This country is mine
It can be yours as well, but
Freedom isn’t free

Posted by: Professor Chaos at July 30, 2004 01:12 PM (xrqfh)

118 Jihadists laughed hard
When Edwards gave his stump speech:
"Oh no! We're sooooooooo scared!"

"Anyone but Bush!
We can't appeal to marines!
Allahu Akhbar!

Kerry/Edwards? Yes!
They'll keep us safe from ourselves!
Allahu Akhbar!"

Posted by: ccwbass at July 30, 2004 01:14 PM (qg4dU)

119 Fucking Integrity

Like an Ace Haiku,
No fucking loose shit for him,
John Kerry has it.

Posted by: Dave Pasquino at July 30, 2004 01:18 PM (OaTVj)

120 Let the liberals
Stay. When the revolution
Comes, who'll line the walls?

Posted by: ccwbass at July 30, 2004 01:21 PM (qg4dU)

121 Vinnie Falcone

Vinnie counts to five,
Vinnie then counts out seven.
That's way it is.

Posted by: Dave Pasquino at July 30, 2004 01:22 PM (OaTVj)

122 ccwbass - That got a loud guffaw out of me.

Posted by: Dave Pasquino at July 30, 2004 01:23 PM (OaTVj)

123 Uhh, some loose shit slipped in there, to correct with integrity:

Vinnie Falcone

Vinnie counts to five,
Vinnie then counts out seven.
That's the way it is

Posted by: Dave Pasquino at July 30, 2004 01:25 PM (OaTVj)

124 From Andrew Sullivan:

When I whack my bag,
I think about Ben Affleck--
Not the Kerry girls.

Posted by: Joe R. at July 30, 2004 01:25 PM (DHwcf)

125 Vietnam Hero?
Zumwalt Says "Yes! But then your
Record will haunt you."

Then when he comes home
He hangs out with Jane Fonda
Was she a good time?

In U.S. Senate
He opposes every bill
For our Armed Forces.

So to pander votes
Takes both stands on all issues
What a dumb flip-flop!

Flaming Liberal!
You'll go down in huge defeat
Just like McGovern!

Posted by: Macker at July 30, 2004 01:25 PM (zj9e5)

126 Oh, Magnanimous
Professor. Such an offer.
Get over yourself!

Do you presume to
know who has paid and hasn't?
where's your reciept, friend?

Posted by: at July 30, 2004 01:26 PM (u5W1o)

127 Phase of the Moon

Foetid wings flapping
Your candidates are midgets
Losers! You're losers!

Frustrated moonbats
Railing at reality
Bathe, smelly hippy!

Junk your VW van!
Spit the pipe out of your mouth
and get a real job.

Deaniac losers
O Kucinich! O Sharpton!
Flapping at the moon

No men among you
impotent moonbats
Bush wins in '04

Posted by: lauraw at July 30, 2004 01:28 PM (AaBEz)

128
My final retort to the moonbats:

Oh the poor DU
Put in cages by their own
Party of elites

Posted by: Professor Chaos at July 30, 2004 01:31 PM (xrqfh)

129 On Retorts

Good retort contains
response to what came before,
you great silly twit.

Posted by: at July 30, 2004 01:38 PM (u5W1o)

130 Whoever thought that
Haiku contests could become
Another flame war

***************************

Strong and Respected
Responds to any attack
Why wait until then?

Posted by: Christopher Cross at July 30, 2004 01:42 PM (oYuAQ)

131 Can't catch terrorists
During an election year...
Makes Dems look weaker

Posted by: lauraw at July 30, 2004 01:43 PM (AaBEz)

132 Get on Your Flying Carpet and Ride

Fly on, Jihadis
Climb ever into the sky
And meet the Maker.

Heed the advice of
Golden Throated Osama
And die for Allah

Die die die die die
Die Fucking Die You Die Now
Motherfucker Die.


I believe that was Fucking Integrity.

Posted by: lauraw at July 30, 2004 02:02 PM (AaBEz)

133 Silly twit am I?
Leftist hater of this land
Go back to your cage

Posted by: Professor Chaos at July 30, 2004 02:03 PM (xrqfh)

134 It's four o'clock. My
Inner Cartman speaks: 'Screw you
Guys; I'm going home.'

Posted by: ccwbass at July 30, 2004 02:03 PM (qg4dU)

135 Andrew Sullivan's
Favorite scene in Top gun
Is "I want some butts!"

Posted by: at July 30, 2004 02:06 PM (2LE6C)

136 Andrew Sullivan's Ex-Conservative Anal Sex Lament

When Cheney debates
Edwards will get reamed like the
cherry ass he is.

Posted by: george at July 30, 2004 02:09 PM (JQeMB)

137 Presumptive Fool

Silly twit you are.
Despite your delusions grand,
you are not this land!

Posted by: at July 30, 2004 02:09 PM (u5W1o)

138 PREMATURE ENUNCIATION

DU, I am a
Previous winner of this
Haiku contest, asshole.

(extra syllable for the god of poetry)

Posted by: rdbrewer at July 30, 2004 02:15 PM (2LE6C)

139 Lauraw, that was the
Best tryptych of haiku
Imagry ever painted.

Posted by: rdbrewer at July 30, 2004 02:20 PM (2LE6C)

140 Apologies to the big fish...

ooooooh, sorry RD.
May I gaze respectfully
at your trophy, bitch?

Posted by: at July 30, 2004 02:26 PM (u5W1o)

141 It's been fun!

Ever'body was
Haiku fighting. Those boys were
fast as lightening!

Posted by: at July 30, 2004 02:31 PM (u5W1o)

142 Calling people twits
shows how lazy you must be,
pitiful creature.

But that's expected.
Going through life with such poor
logic skills would suck!

But such is the lot
of those who live life as donks.
I almost feel bad.

How sad it must be -
your only skill is making
giant puppets.

Posted by: Eric A. at July 30, 2004 02:35 PM (YUBYA)

143 You are right to say
That I am not this land, but
At least I love it

or:

I am not this land
But a traitor I am not
Love it or leave it


One for the hippies in the house:

Put me in a cage
Yet I promise still to vote
For those who built it


On the lighter side:

Dude, where is my car?
Was I really that drunk, at
The blogorama?


Blatant Johnny Cash rip-off:

Beer for Breakfast, on
Sunday morning coming down
One more for dessert

Posted by: Professor Chaos at July 30, 2004 02:38 PM (xrqfh)

144 REQUIEM FOR A DU HAIKU FIGHTER

Come back next time and
Stand in the center while we
Attack one by one.

Posted by: rdbrewer at July 30, 2004 02:45 PM (2LE6C)

145 Hypocrite

Throwing stones in
Glass house haiku? Eric.A
Mothership calls you.

Posted by: at July 30, 2004 02:51 PM (u5W1o)

146 .cc Obama

Two Americas?
My staff said just say there's one
Loose fucking shit here

Posted by: Dave in Texas at July 30, 2004 03:19 PM (5rTP5)

147 Kinder, gentler

You put words in my
my mouth I never said that
OK so shove it

Posted by: Dave in Texas at July 30, 2004 03:20 PM (5rTP5)

148 Enough of this trollbashery. Lets get back on track:
Another convention poem.

Bent Pine Under Passing Cloud

Billy Zipper croons
and Democrats cream their pants.
Kerry grinds his teeth

Posted by: lauraw at July 30, 2004 03:20 PM (PcgQk)

149
"Temperance"

Ignore the troll
he's a buffoonish twit
and you're wasting haiku on rubbish.

Posted by: ace at July 30, 2004 03:24 PM (iog7U)

150 October Surprise

The Big Dig's still there
Kerry's fate is not pretty
The Big Dig's still there

How many kickbacks?
His true masters are well known.
He cannot escape

Like a great millstone
The deals, the lies, the money
They ring his long neck.

This guy's as dirty
as a damn Paris pissoir.
A rat in a trap.

Boston corruption...
Bush has yet to mine that vein
-but just fucking wait!

Posted by: lauraw at July 30, 2004 03:33 PM (PcgQk)

151 Thanks, rdbrewer.
I was channeling my inner Marine.

Posted by: lauraw at July 30, 2004 03:43 PM (PcgQk)

152 Balloons, more balloons,
What the fuck are you doing?
Give me more balloons!

Posted by: McGurk at July 30, 2004 03:47 PM (8cpgs)

153 "Splendor from above"
Tricolor decor
American, though, not French.
The boys get balloons

-------------
"Did you Know"
"Did you know I served?"
"In Vietnam", he told us
"I got Purple Hearts."

-------------
"Untitled"
Kerry next to Moore
A birch next to a boulder
Makes the number "10".

Posted by: Jimmie at July 30, 2004 04:03 PM (8uzg/)

154 I watch impassive
as Uday flays a prisoner raw:
He's not a hamster.

Posted by: Paul Zrimsek at July 30, 2004 04:19 PM (E3Bj/)

155 "Five Kaukus on Two Americas"
Two Americas
One strengthens alliances
One kills terrorists

Two Americas
One says health care is a right
One lowers taxes

Two Americas
One has Michael Moore
One still has food left

Two Americas
One says you're greedy bastards
One says live your dream

Two Americas
One has Andrew Sullivan
One has Ace O'Spades

Posted by: Jimmie at July 30, 2004 04:19 PM (8uzg/)

156 If John Kerry wins
Will we move the Capital
To Easter Island?

-------

Kerry picks Edwards --
Sales of shampoo skyrocket
From their hair alone.

-------

I have to admit
I like Rashomon’s haiku --
He can really count!

Don’t get me wrong, though,
It’s just the first I’ve seen a
Lefty follow rules.

Posted by: Jack of Clubs at July 30, 2004 04:23 PM (+37RF)

157 Haiku Ronin and Paul Zrimsek! Tushie kicking haikus.

That is some good stuff wow.

Posted by: lauraw at July 30, 2004 05:33 PM (AaBEz)

158 Who would Osama
Vote for if given a chance?
"Anyone but Bush!"

Posted by: Blogingham! at July 30, 2004 05:57 PM (VkI1m)

159 John Kerry, pompous
Adult Lord Fauntleroy,
Doesn't have a chance.

Posted by: rdbrewer at July 30, 2004 06:13 PM (2LE6C)

160 Thanks, lauraw, but I see I've somehow gotten eight syllables in the second line. Damn. Lose the "raw", I guess. Let's try again:

Légion Étrangère
I'm reporting for duty.
At your command, Jacques!

Posted by: Paul Zrimsek at July 30, 2004 09:33 PM (E3Bj/)

161 Dear Professor,

Your mind is chaos
You apologize to Cash -
It's Kristofferson.

Posted by: at July 30, 2004 11:11 PM (u5W1o)

162 Silk on Canvas

The soothing 10 count--
Did I fight Danny Williams,
Or Vinnie Falcone?

Posted by: Mike Tyson at July 31, 2004 05:21 AM (BPhem)

163 If you're not accepting entries in the original Japanese, then shove it.

Posted by: Teresa Heinz Kerry at July 31, 2004 05:24 AM (BPhem)

164 "Another Mikey the Hutt moment"

Hero to the Left
Unable to tell the truth
Bloated sack of crap

Posted by: zetetic at July 31, 2004 06:21 AM (Wg+KD)

165 Mike Tyson,

Hah!

Is it just me, or did other people miss the fact that Tyson even had a fight until they saw the headlines this morning?

Also by Mike Tyson:

"Out of Gas"

Low energy, feeling
peckish; light-headed from hunger;
Brit won't let me eat his ear.

Posted by: Ace at July 31, 2004 06:30 AM (iog7U)

166 Um, how's this?

After November
Bush will depart. Cheney may
need a good lawyer.

Posted by: Jeff at July 31, 2004 08:47 AM (FJd9F)

167 To my friend with no name:

My mind is quite clear
Yes, Kristofferson wrote it
But Cash did it best

Posted by: Professor Chaos at July 31, 2004 09:27 AM (zZ5LA)

168 Snowflakes of November Past

Report for duty:
McGovern, Carter, Mondale,
Dukakis and Gore.

Posted by: Liberal heartache at July 31, 2004 09:42 AM (BPhem)

169 For the Professor, I like Cash too!

I wear the black for
the poor and the beaten down,
Livin' hopeless, in

the hungry side of
town, for the prisoner who has
long paid for his crime,

But is there because
he's a victim of the times.
black for the thousands

who died, Believen'
that the Lord was on their side,
wear it for 'nother

hundred thousand who
have died, Believen' that
we were on their side.

Posted by: at July 31, 2004 09:47 AM (u5W1o)

170 Out of bed at noon.
Dem convention forgotten.
Time for Taco Bell.

Posted by: ccwbass at July 31, 2004 09:50 AM (3ByQ/)

171 Gene Frenkle Part 1

Only prescription;
I gotta have more cowbell!
Gold plated diapers.

Gene Frenkle Part 2

An unbuttoned shirt . . .
Explore the Studio Space!
More cowbell, baby.

Posted by: Scout at July 31, 2004 12:31 PM (JQeMB)

172 Kerry's Hair is thick,
Edwards teeth are white and big.
They're still gonna lose.

Posted by: Scout at July 31, 2004 12:33 PM (JQeMB)

173 A Bush haiku

Cokehead. Deserter.
Smirking fool. Impeachable.
One term president

Posted by: Bush sucks ass at July 31, 2004 03:11 PM (FJd9F)

174 Unrepentent war
Criminal. Useless senator.
Perfect for the Dems.

Posted by: ccwbass at July 31, 2004 04:45 PM (jbkUY)

175 Snail Adhered to a Leaf

For twenty five years
Just warming a senate seat
He has done bupkus

Posted by: lauraw at July 31, 2004 05:14 PM (b/7hi)

176 Damn! Screwed up the count. Lemme try again:

Inside Kerry's Brain

Killed women, babies!
Razed entire villages!
Fooled ya! Just kidding!
----------------
Will support the troops!
Will vote to increase spending!
Fooled ya! Just kidding!
----------------
Look at my record!
(But not beyond '70.)
No, I'm not kidding.
----------------

Posted by: ccwbass at July 31, 2004 05:20 PM (jbkUY)

177 The lowly moonbat
Is surprised this November
When Kerry goes "pfft!"

Posted by: zetetic at July 31, 2004 05:46 PM (Wg+KD)

178 Moonbat has some sack,
Not an anonymous post!
Wonders never cease...

Posted by: zetetic at July 31, 2004 05:48 PM (Wg+KD)

179 Haikus From a Wendy's

Teresa's Query

What is this chi-li
You speak of? It sounds tasty.
Does it come with Brie?

We're Just Normal Folks!

Ironic how we're
Slumming it in this burger
Joint. God, we're so rich!

Wreck of the Photo-op

Hey, Marines! I served
In Vietnam don't you know?
Why the curt answers?

Devil Dog's Aside

Goin' to Iraq soon.
What gives Lurch the idea
That I'd vote for him?

Posted by: Sean M. at July 31, 2004 08:43 PM (F168B)

180 *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Haberdasher's fright
Kerry orders a new suit;
Empty but for air

* * * *

Kerry proudly asks
Permission to come aboard
No thanks you big turd

* * * *

Bounce, follow the bounce
Where is my fucking bouce
I knew Edwards sucked

* * * *

Post hoc prompter hoc
I did before I didn't
Yes and no Kerry

* * * *

Your hope in one hand
Your bullshit in the other
which one flows over?

* * * *

Hiding things not there
Baloons are so important
More fucking baloons

Posted by: Don Callaway at August 01, 2004 08:05 AM (z+CfC)

181 Final entry; has nothing to do with this contest but came into being as I pondered my doubtless severely clogged arteries:

The ghost of Elvis
Lived in every cheeseburger
I've ever eaten.

Posted by: ccwbass at August 01, 2004 10:15 AM (AypDB)

182 Non-Haiku but I hope you'll forgive me:

'Massachusetts Liberal'

I am the very model of a
Taxachusetts Liberal

I fleece hard working people and then
buy votes from the gullible

My economic theories are just
rehashed marxist principles

For campaign contributions you will
find me quite corruptible

My support for the troops is clearly
laughable and fanciful

My foreign policy is vague
deceitful and inscrutable

To cast a vote for me is just
goddamned irresponsible

I am the very model of a
Massachusetts Liberal!

Posted by: lauraw at August 01, 2004 12:44 PM (PcgQk)

183 What Happened, Theresa?

Big speech all for naught
I expected eight, nine points
but Gallup says none.

Posted by: at August 02, 2004 03:15 AM (0PSV4)

184 What Happened, Theresa?

Big speech all for naught
I expected eight, nine points
but Gallup says none.

Posted by: John F'n Kerry at August 02, 2004 03:15 AM (0PSV4)

185 Goodbye, Kucinich

Dennis, it's been fun.
Say "hi" to Klaatu and Gort
back at base station.

Posted by: Eric A. at August 02, 2004 03:28 AM (0PSV4)

186 A Democrat's Jaw-Clenching Version of a Positive Message

We're optimistic,
damnit! Soooo opt ... ABU GHRAIB!
I feel better now.

Posted by: george at August 02, 2004 04:59 AM (W6YXL)

187 "The Democrat's Dream"

Kerry to White House!
Regain Senate and the House!
Oh hell, I woke up.

Posted by: zetetic at August 02, 2004 06:41 AM (ahqnM)

188 Andrew Sullivan:

Donate your money
Bandwidth is so expensive
See you in a month!

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at August 02, 2004 07:01 AM (sBIVx)

189 What's this? A flat tax?
I work for the IRS
Time to vote Kerry

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at August 02, 2004 07:02 AM (sBIVx)

190 Teresa Heinz-Kerry:

Welcome to Wendy's
My name's not "Garcon", it's "Todd"
That's called chili, ma'am

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at August 02, 2004 07:05 AM (sBIVx)

191 Dead skunk on highway;
Old fish and turds 'pon the wind:
Kerry smells the polls.

Posted by: ccwbass at August 02, 2004 08:50 AM (qg4dU)

192 Todd's Poem #2:

Yes, ma'am, it's chili
Meat, tomato sauce, peppers...
is that what you want?

Posted by: at August 02, 2004 09:46 AM (sBIVx)

193 Todd's Haiku, Final:

One order chili
That will be ninety-nine cents...
Yes ma'am, as in pennies

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at August 02, 2004 09:47 AM (sBIVx)

194 John Kerry:

My plan is the best
I can make us great again!
No, I won't tell you!

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at August 02, 2004 09:50 AM (sBIVx)

195 We captured Hussein.
But Chirac did not like it.
Bend over for France.

Posted by: physics geek at August 02, 2004 09:52 AM (Xvrs7)

Posted by: ccwbass at August 02, 2004 10:04 AM (qg4dU)

197 blowing wet hampsters
the nuanced gift from Kerry:
a rat's right to life.

Posted by: krakatoa at August 02, 2004 10:41 AM (GA8JW)

198 Rodents for Kerry
with apologies to krakatoa

Live damn you! How do
you ask a hamster to be
last hamster to die?

Posted by: Eric A. at August 02, 2004 11:11 AM (0PSV4)

199 Heinz 57...
Words per hour in that damn speech
Don't rush her, she's rich

Posted by: Jim Treacher at August 02, 2004 12:25 PM (oKpOg)

200 Bin Laden at large?
More likely he's wallpaper
In Tora Bora

Posted by: zetetic at August 02, 2004 12:37 PM (ahqnM)

201 Joshua Mellencamp Marshall on the Weekend News

Expecting a bounce
But terror warnings come out
Suspicious timing.

Posted by: Sean M. at August 02, 2004 01:43 PM (F168B)

202 I am trying hard
To write a haiku using:
"Swiss Finishing School."

Posted by: at August 02, 2004 01:49 PM (F168B)

203 That last one was mine
Didn't click on "Remember
Personal info?"

Posted by: Sean M. at August 02, 2004 01:51 PM (F168B)

204 Richard Gere:

I like hamsters too
They make me feel warm inside
Vote for John Kerry

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at August 02, 2004 02:06 PM (sBIVx)

205 Whis'ling past graveyard
"no bounce!" they whimper and shake.
scary poll says, BOO!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A34914-2004Aug2.html

Posted by: Batman at August 02, 2004 02:27 PM (uJyGs)

206 Photo-op

I ate at Wendy's
BEFORE the five-star takeout
Lucky I'm bulemic

Posted by: Scott Jones at August 02, 2004 07:00 PM (aKwV9)

207 YUM!

We ate at Wendy's
Before we ate somewhere else
Nuance on the menu

Posted by: Scott Jones at August 02, 2004 07:02 PM (aKwV9)

208 I talked to foreign
Leaders and they want me to
Win. Yasser says hi.

Posted by: Sean M. at August 02, 2004 08:21 PM (F168B)

209 Ben Afflek does not
Seem to know the meaning of
The word "enervate."

Posted by: Sean M. at August 02, 2004 08:34 PM (F168B)

210 Yes, we question the
timing of intelligence
four years past its prime

Posted by: Rashomon at August 03, 2004 05:46 AM (u5W1o)

211 Rashomon: News flash!
Most attacks take years to plan
Not just days or weeks

Below are haiku
Of things that happen still
I like the last best

Bombing! Many dead!
Bush knew and yet said nothing
Negligent moron

Citicorp leveled!
Bush warned us; it still happened
Incompetent fool

No attacks occurred
Bush data is four years old
Dumb fearmongerer

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at August 03, 2004 06:50 AM (sBIVx)

212 Reposting the 2nd haiku, changing slightly to make more sense of its order:

Above are haiku
Of things that may happen still
I like the last best

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at August 03, 2004 06:52 AM (sBIVx)

213 Loose Catsup

Four years of what hell?
Teresa, my dear, you should
Just lay off the sauce.

Posted by: dano at August 03, 2004 07:46 AM (zqLrp)

214 No bounce, you say? Heh!
Electoral predictor
Says Boing, Boing, Boing, BOING!

Posted by: Batman at August 03, 2004 11:41 AM (uJyGs)

215 "Hello there, Marines.
Did you know I served in 'Nam?"
"F-O-A-D, Sir."

Posted by: John Lanius at August 03, 2004 04:32 PM (gplif)

216 Hot Boston Summer.
Platitudes in plenitude.
So enervating.

Posted by: John Lanius at August 03, 2004 04:33 PM (gplif)

217 I want free health care!
A guaranteed job for life!
And maybe a pony, too?

Posted by: John Lanius at August 03, 2004 04:35 PM (gplif)

218 Nothing more to fear,
Than George Bush for four more years.
Kennedy forgot.

Posted by: John Lanius at August 03, 2004 04:40 PM (gplif)

219 Boing, Boing, SPLAT!

Save a screenshot, B.
Maybe it will console you
through Bush's next term.

Posted by: Eric A. at August 04, 2004 05:51 AM (0PSV4)

220 Is it just me? Does
Kerry look like album art
for Iron Maiden?

Posted by: Eric A. at August 04, 2004 09:09 AM (0PSV4)

221 Oh, St. Teresa!
Joan Osborne was right: you are
Higher than the moon.

Posted by: Stumbo at August 04, 2004 10:06 AM (z4es9)

222 Finally got a link!
(So THAT'S what trackback is for.)
And now I can sleep.
-----------------------
Uhhhh, by "sleep," of course,
What I mean is, work real hard.
(Has the boss left yet?)

Posted by: ccwbass at August 04, 2004 10:50 AM (qg4dU)

223 The Past is the Road Ahead.
War makes not one Proud.
Solemn Salutes of Regret
Left is the direction of Retreat.

Posted by: mbarek at August 04, 2004 11:13 AM (/TQ7C)

224 This thread is so worth the price of admission.

Remembrance of mistakes past

by T.H.K.

I was mistaken
I thought I knew what hell was...
Four more years. Hello.

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos at August 04, 2004 11:32 AM (YYb1o)

225 (Optional modification to my entry: the "are" can be put in italics.)

Posted by: Stumbo at August 04, 2004 11:36 AM (z4es9)

226 Memo to Kerry:
Michigan hates the Buckeyes
They are huge rivals

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at August 04, 2004 11:57 AM (sBIVx)

227 Hello, Michigan!
Football games are so bourgeois
Can't we talk polo?

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at August 04, 2004 11:58 AM (sBIVx)

228 John Kerry:

Hello, Michigan!
Football games are so bourgeois
Can't we talk polo?

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at August 04, 2004 11:58 AM (sBIVx)

229 John Kerry, again:

My apologies
I mentioned the wrong mascot
I love your... Big M

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at August 04, 2004 11:58 AM (sBIVx)

230 One more entry for me...

John Kerry, on the 9/11 Commission:

Recommendations?
Let's hold a special session!
(I can't make it, though)

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at August 04, 2004 12:03 PM (sBIVx)

231 Bunny suits and corn
This guy makes Dukakis like
A MAN goddammit!
---------------
Praising Buckeyes in
Michigan? Is Kerry a
Retard or something?
---------------
Be glad John's on his
Bus tour. Now, the Massholes have
But one Senate vote.

Posted by: Sean M. at August 04, 2004 03:36 PM (F168B)

232 Andrew Sullivan:

I love George W. Bush
I just remembered I'm gay
Forget what I said
--------------------------
John Kerry:

Four more years of hell?
I wish that wife of mine would
Just shut up sometimes

Posted by: Slubgob at August 04, 2004 05:22 PM (t+rXV)

233 She's rich and she's nuts
Her babble moderated
with whopping bear tranquilizers that John makes sure she never ever ever runs out of

Posted by: lauraw at August 05, 2004 04:56 AM (ih3VF)

234 I know it's after the deadline, but still:

Kerry: Bring it on!
Swift Boat Vets: He is unfit!
Consider it brought

Posted by: Johnny Catbird at August 05, 2004 07:23 AM (sBIVx)

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