May 31, 2011

Little Fockers Review
— Ace

Ben Stiller is now some kind of top administrator with a hospital, and has two kids with wife Teri Polo. Difficulty for his marriage presents himself when a cute pharmaceutical rep, played by Jessica Alba, comes in to flatter and flirt.

Meanwhile, her husband's dad, the imposing ex-spook Robert DeNiro, tells him the family has always needed a patriarch, and asks Bill Stiller to be "the God Focker."

Owen Wilson then shows up, making Ben Stiller jealous with his perfection and his strong ongoing friendship with his wife. And that's as far as I got. Turned it off.

I would say the thing was written like a sitcom but generally sitcoms are better and more nuanced. And sitcoms usually feature pros trying to do a good job, not slumming stars like DeNiro looking sort of pleased with themselves as they overact and mug for the camera, strongly signaling Just a check, baby. Just a check.

I felt like I was watching a High School Seniors' graduation talent pageant, but with old people.

Oh, here's something. Because wife Teri Polo is sick, DeNiro goes with Stiller to check out an exclusive pre-school.

Give yourselves a cookie if you can figure out what madcap comic misunderstanding occurs next when the two men are interviewed about their kids.

Yup. God that was funny, when I was five, and it was called Three's Company.

I hate the fact that this this series started out very strong in the unexpected smash Meet the Parents. And I am perplexed that with this expensive a cast, and this much professional talent, this is the dreck they call "finished product."

I don't know how many stars to give it. I'll give it a half star for each half hour I made it through.

One third of a star then.

Posted by: Ace at 03:27 PM | Comments (64)
Post contains 307 words, total size 2 kb.

1 No more Weiner stuff? 

Posted by: PBoilermaker at May 31, 2011 03:28 PM (jU2vI)

2 This movie must have really bitten the weiner if you aren't even enthusiastic enough about it to write a 20,000 word missive on it,

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 31, 2011 03:29 PM (YmsYS)

3 You OK bra ?

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at May 31, 2011 03:29 PM (npr0X)

4 Saw the Hangover yesterday, satisfactorily fun. What did catch my eye was the remake of "Don't be afraid of the Dark", with Katy Holmes playing the Kim Darby role. That original was one of the best little monsters in the basement movies EVAH!!!!

Posted by: mbruce at May 31, 2011 03:29 PM (Fr8N6)

5 Ace,
The movie was largely panned by the critics.
IIRC, it got like 10% "fresh" at Rotten Tomatoes, meaning 90% of the critics didn't like it. .
If you need a throwaway thread, that's one thing, but jeez, 5 minutes checking the reviews will save you 1.5 hours of your life (plus ten bucks and a round trip to the theater).


Posted by: looking closely at May 31, 2011 03:32 PM (KNy97)

6 I'm fine, just wanted to put up a review. I guess I'll put up the debt-limit vote.

Posted by: ace at May 31, 2011 03:33 PM (nj1bB)

7 'Bridesmaids' wasn't terribly good, either.  Kind of boring.

Posted by: nickless at May 31, 2011 03:33 PM (MMC8r)

8 looking closely, sometimes RedBox gives you like three choices, and you takes ya chances.

Posted by: ace at May 31, 2011 03:33 PM (nj1bB)

9 I don't give a fock.

Posted by: steevy at May 31, 2011 03:33 PM (gTe3Y)

10 nickless, really? You're kidding me. You didn't like that?

Posted by: ace at May 31, 2011 03:33 PM (nj1bB)

11

O'Reilly has now addressed Weinergate on two segments. 

 

Posted by: PBoilermaker at May 31, 2011 03:34 PM (jU2vI)

12 Difficulty for his marriage presents himself when a cute pharmaceutical rep, played by Jessica Alba, comes in to flatter and flirt.

And then he was caught sending her a p-bomb from his twitter account, which he claimed had been hacked.  Hilarity presents itself when the imposing ex-spook played by Robert DeNiro decides to investigate the case.

Posted by: sandy burger at May 31, 2011 03:35 PM (XyoGP)

13

I hate the fact that this this series started out very strong in the unexpected smash Meet the Parents. And I am perplexed that with this expensive a cast, and this much professional talent, this is the dreck they call "finished product."

I don't know how many stars to give it. I'll give it a half star for each half hour I made it through.

One third of a star then.

I bet a lot of the strength of Meet the Parents came from the original screenplay the eventual movie was made from.  Written by comedian Emo Philips.

Some of his best one line jokes:

"'You look Slinkie,' I said to her at the top of the steps"

"...my Ex-wife who shall remain nameless, if I am ever left alone at her grave with a sandblaster"

Posted by: buzzion at May 31, 2011 03:36 PM (oVQFe)

14
I totally agree with you, the new one sucked. It's pretty tragic compared to how good the first one was. I re watched it on tv this weekend and realized that the whole plot literally caused by the inciting incident of his luggage being lost b/c it was slightly too big for the xray machine.  The new movie was just a mishmash of lame gags and no cohesive story.

Little Fockers pranked the movie going audience

Posted by: drewh at May 31, 2011 03:36 PM (PkolB)

15

The wife and I just saw Public Enemies last night and it was decent...

Posted by: PBoilermaker at May 31, 2011 03:36 PM (jU2vI)

16 This is turning out to be a pretty bad day for the home team.

Posted by: Amanda Marcotte at May 31, 2011 03:36 PM (VXBR1)

17 Hate to go OT on comment #13, but even Ace hated the movie:

Pre-medieval savages.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 31, 2011 03:37 PM (1fanL)

18 16:

How about a nice TAB and a waltz through your basement, Amanda?

Posted by: sifty at May 31, 2011 03:38 PM (2dbd9)

19 Is B. Streisand in this? Thanks but no thanks

Posted by: nevergiveup at May 31, 2011 03:39 PM (i6RpT)

20 Little Fockers sucks like Shrek 3 sucked. And that is saying a whole lot.

Posted by: sifty at May 31, 2011 03:39 PM (2dbd9)

21 Keep your scoop at the top. Nobody cares about the Little Fockers.

Posted by: someguy at May 31, 2011 03:41 PM (iIQ0a)

22 I hate the fact that this this series started out very strong in the unexpected smash Meet the Parents.

"Unexpected" is right.  That movie sucked Congressional Weiner.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at May 31, 2011 03:41 PM (G/MYk)

23 I saw the first one and hated it.  Much like anything with Will Ferrell in it, over the top stupidity just pisses me off and fails to entertain me.  Not seeing the other movies, I'm guessing they're all full of over the top stupidity, so I'm out.

Posted by: Sponge at May 31, 2011 03:43 PM (UF26Z)

24 Get through the refractory period and come back at it hard .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at May 31, 2011 03:43 PM (npr0X)

25 ace displays false modesty.

or he's too shitfaced now from celebrating to post anything for fear he'll fuck it up.

Posted by: sifty at May 31, 2011 03:43 PM (2dbd9)

26 I do like Ben Stiller because he doesn't shit all over America and conservative values.(unless I missed something?)

Posted by: steevy at May 31, 2011 03:44 PM (gTe3Y)

27 Thank God for this post, I can't read anything else of a serious nature today. This movie did blow.

Posted by: Dr Spank at May 31, 2011 03:44 PM (k0TKJ)

28 I do like Ben Stiller because he doesn't shit all over America and conservative values.(unless I missed something?) Posted by: steevy at May 31, 2011 08:44 PM (gTe3Y) I haven't heard anything that i can remember.

Posted by: nevergiveup at May 31, 2011 03:45 PM (i6RpT)

29 25ace displays false modesty.

or he's too shitfaced now from celebrating to post anything for fear he'll fuck it up.
 It is almost as baffling as NBC's decision during the "Heidi Game".

Posted by: PBoilermaker at May 31, 2011 03:46 PM (jU2vI)

30 Stiller was solid in Tropic Thunder, a terrific movie.

Posted by: Dr Spank at May 31, 2011 03:47 PM (k0TKJ)

31 Stiller was best in Mystery Men.

Posted by: sifty at May 31, 2011 03:49 PM (2dbd9)

32 keep the other one at the top? Okay, maybe I'll put it back up there, but everyone knows where it is, right?

Posted by: ace at May 31, 2011 03:49 PM (nj1bB)

33

"FOCKER".   Get it?  FOCKER.  Haha.  It's spelled with an "o".

Those clever folks in Hollywood, boy..... 

They'll getcha every time, yesiree....

Posted by: Olliander at May 31, 2011 03:50 PM (j4xgZ)

34 So I took my gf to see Bridesmaids, based on the good review I read here...  just goes to show that everyone is different.  First time in my life I actually walked out on a movie.  Good God.

Posted by: Terry at May 31, 2011 03:50 PM (EEYuq)

35 32:

SPEECH!
SPEECH!
SPEECH!
SPEECH!

Posted by: sifty at May 31, 2011 03:50 PM (2dbd9)

36 Remember when Robert DeNiro made awesome movies and turned in nuanced, brilliant performances in them all? Yeah, that was pretty cool. Now I'm convinced he makes movies to either support a crippling gambling addiction or he's secretly financing a covert war in the Third World.

Posted by: UGAdawg at May 31, 2011 03:51 PM (/VjHB)

37 There's a Weiner joke in here somewhere.

Posted by: Dr Spank at May 31, 2011 03:51 PM (k0TKJ)

38 The movie sucks, except Jessica Alba looks really hot and strips down to her underwear.

She runs around trying to seduce Ben Stiller, wearing nothing but a blue bra and panties.  That's got to be worth something.

Posted by: wooga at May 31, 2011 03:52 PM (2p0e3)

39 36 Nah,one can never have enough money.

Posted by: steevy at May 31, 2011 03:52 PM (gTe3Y)

40 36:

After Ronin he started to decline.

Posted by: sifty at May 31, 2011 03:52 PM (2dbd9)

41 TS;DR

Posted by: StPatrick_TN at May 31, 2011 03:53 PM (D+phB)

42 Who gives a fuck?

Left wing parodies right wing.  For the ten thousandth time.
Same as it ever was.

Posted by: Jack at May 31, 2011 03:54 PM (kCT7A)

43 38 The movie sucks, except Jessica Alba looks really hot and strips down to her underwear.

She runs around trying to seduce Ben Stiller, wearing nothing but a blue bra and panties.  That's got to be worth something.

Definitely worth an animated .GIF; beyond that, I'm not so sure.

Posted by: StPatrick_TN at May 31, 2011 03:55 PM (D+phB)

44 38 She was way hotter back on that show Dark Angel.

Posted by: steevy at May 31, 2011 03:55 PM (gTe3Y)

45 Ben Stiller is smart enough to keep his yapper shut about politics and always trys to bring the funneh.  May be his parents influence. 

Posted by: Truck Monkey at May 31, 2011 03:55 PM (yQWNf)

46 I really didn't like Ronin.

Posted by: Dr Spank at May 31, 2011 03:56 PM (k0TKJ)

47 A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic liberal ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man.. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.." The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of acti on." "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little.. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when was the last time you had sex?" "1955, ma'am." "Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out and relax! I mean no sex since 1955! Com e with me." She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times. Afterward, panting for breath, she leaned against his grizzled bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955." The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now."

Posted by: nevergiveup at May 31, 2011 03:56 PM (i6RpT)

48 Slap , slap , backhand , tittie twist . Glass of water in face . Grabs by shoulders and shakes ......... get the rope off your junk ace , you won .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at May 31, 2011 03:57 PM (npr0X)

49 Alba's best role was in "Into the Blue".

Posted by: PBoilermaker at May 31, 2011 03:58 PM (jU2vI)

50 Most excellent review, then.

Posted by: Greg Toombs at May 31, 2011 03:59 PM (ywzBH)

51 That's got to be worth something.

I'd twit it.

Posted by: Anthony Weiner at May 31, 2011 03:59 PM (XyoGP)

52 I hope you didn't go out for this.  Was it on PPV?

Posted by: Greg Toombs at May 31, 2011 04:00 PM (ywzBH)

53 Odd, too, how the protagonists always end up as "top hospital administrators" in their late 30s, early 40s. 'Cause hard work will always pay off, you non-hard-working shclubs.

Maetenloch's grandma has a few words for you slackers.

Meanwhile, granite countertops are so early 2000s. Maybe fossil stone.

Posted by: American.Dreamer at May 31, 2011 04:00 PM (hyP1j)

54 First movie I remember seeing Jessica Alba in was in the Fantastic Four movie, where the directors tried to pass her off as a scientist.

Hilarity ensued.

/Still not as bad as Tara Reid's character in Uwe Boll's Alone in the Dark crap-fest though. 

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at May 31, 2011 04:02 PM (5OMqT)

55 Jessica Alba can't act.

Posted by: Dr Spank at May 31, 2011 04:02 PM (k0TKJ)

56 Jessica Alba was best in her early role in Idle Hands.  That got me excited enough to slip a picture of my left nut to a girl I met at the supermarket.  An excellent movie!

After that, she got kind of old.

Posted by: Anthony Weiner at May 31, 2011 04:04 PM (G/MYk)

57

I don't know how many stars to give it. I'll give it a half star for each half hour I made it through.

One third of a star then.

You spent an hour and a half watching that?

BTW - good work on the hotdog story.  I spent the weekend helping family with tornado cleanup after last week's outbreak and pleasantly didn't keep up with the first piece of news since last Thursday.  I heard Rush mention it today as I was driving home and it seems to be picking up some traction.  I'll be interested to hear what Levin has to say in a few minutes (taped delayed where I live) since he is such a big hotdog fan.

I'm still catching up - but happy to say tonight I get my news from the AoSHQ.  There is no story too small - they all need to be looked into - and sometimes something big comes from it.  Lord knows we need more people like you.

Posted by: 57 States at May 31, 2011 04:06 PM (SXNHr)

58 Dude - you need to check RottenTomtoes before watching that crap.

I would watch Hunt for Red October for the (about) 70th time before watching that piece of crap.  'Cept my wife would finally file for that divorce..    (Oh wait... second thought..)

It was only in the theatres for like 4 weeks it was so bad.

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at May 31, 2011 04:25 PM (qsodE)

59 10 nickless, really? You're kidding me.

You didn't like that?

Nah.

Too much improv in set pieces that drag on for too long.

The fat chick was mostly funny.  Chris O'Dowd's always good. 

But the 'chicks being just as crude as guys' thing didn't click either.

Posted by: nickless at May 31, 2011 04:33 PM (MMC8r)

60 But the 'chicks being just as crude as guys' thing didn't click either.

Posted by: nickless

 

Exactly.  When the movie switched from depressing me about the subject's life to excrement humor, it was time to go.

Posted by: Terry at May 31, 2011 04:45 PM (W1mrP)

61

Shame about the younger sister from "Meet the Parents"--she died of pneumonia at a relatively young age. 

I think when DeNiro signed on to "Rocky and Bullwinkle," I started to wonder if he had gone Johnny Fontaine on us. 

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at May 31, 2011 04:45 PM (DPM1U)

62 @AceOfSpades has been hacked. This so-called 'movie review' is shorter than the movie! It did get my attention, though, when you the hacker mentioned Teri Polo. I remember her as a hottie from some movie (which I'm about to look up).

Posted by: t-bird at May 31, 2011 04:55 PM (FcR7P)

63

Hated Meet the Parents with a passion. Never bothered with the other two movies. It is kind of embarassing when you realize how huge DeNiro, Hoffman, and yes, even Streisand were and now they're reduced to doing dreck like this. DeNiro, and, to a lesser extent, Hoffman have been phoning it in since about 2000. Streisand has largely been out of the movies since the mid 90s. If doing junk like this is the best she can do, she should have stayed out. (Although I do seem to remember seeing an interview with Hoffman where he said he had to go to Streisand's home and personally talk her into doing Meet the Fockers.)

Posted by: Book Geek at May 31, 2011 05:35 PM (1+OO5)

64 Meet the Parents was an overrated piece of shit. It went downhill from there.

Posted by: packsoldier at May 31, 2011 06:25 PM (rHItG)

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