March 29, 2007

KC Johnson Obsesses, Deliciously, Over Selena Roberts
— Ace

If KC Johnson is married, I feel sorry for his wife. This is guy who's like a chick, only ten time worse: He forgets nothing. He forgives nothing.

Selena Roberts forgot his anniversary, and man, does he let her have it. Scroll down to "Selena vs. Selena" for a good start, and then watch the snowball roll.

In her screed against the lacrosse team in Sunday’s New York Times, Selena Roberts positioned herself as an aggressive champion of diversity, while also appealing to class-based sentiments by taking a negative tone to former lacrosse players' Wall Street jobs.

Such a figure, no doubt, practices what she preaches, and demonstrates a deep commitment to diversity in her personal life, correct?

Not quite.

According to her Times bio, Roberts is a resident of Westport, Connecticut, a suburb in Fairfield County. The US Census Bureau's fact page reveals that Westport is a bastion of neither racial nor economic diversity. Of its 25,598 residents, 24,560, or 95.5 percent, are white. Westport has a grand total of 292 African-American residents. Barely 1 percent of Roberts' fellow townsfolk, in other words, are black.

What about economic diversity? The median family income in Westport is $153,131, more than $100,000 greater than the median family income for the United States as a whole. And a grand total of 104 families live below the poverty level. Barely 1 percent of Roberts' fellow townsfolk, in other words, are poor. The town website has forms for people who need to store their boats--either on water or on land--and for residents-only tennis and golf facilities.

And then that causes him to remember Selena Roberts once got drunk and made a pass at his sister, and then, well. It just gets worse. He's about two posts away from a guest appearance on COPS.


Come now. You tellin' me she hasn't molested a couple of strippers in her time? Betcha $50 she's got her own table with her name on it down at the Westport Hooters.

Posted by: Ace at 11:00 AM | Comments (34)
Post contains 345 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Number of ejaculations:  2

Posted by: EC at March 29, 2007 11:22 AM (mAhn3)

2

I occasionally have to go to Wilton for work, and all I can say is damn I wish there were a Hooters in Westport.  Not much going on for poor working folks like myself in those environs.  Frankly I'm surprised that I'm allowed to get off the MetroNorth at the Westport station.


Posted by: Spaz at March 29, 2007 11:23 AM (GOFVL)

3

You tellin' me she hasn't molested a couple of strippers in her time? Betcha $50 she's got her own table with her name on it down at the Westport Hooters.


I had no idea they stripped at Hooters. I thought you guys just went there for the wings.


Posted by: pajama momma at March 29, 2007 11:24 AM (Pzdiv)

4 She looks like a gym teacher.

Posted by: Bart at March 29, 2007 11:29 AM (UYMpr)

5 I've seen hear on the Sports Reporters spouting off inanities that would rival William B. Rhoden, III Esq...

And she has that whiny scratchy voice. A miserable wench, to be sure.

And she's a faggot too.

Posted by: benrand at March 29, 2007 11:35 AM (NxmpK)

6

I had no idea they stripped at Hooters. I thought you guys just went there for the wings.


They don't (really, seriously) and we do (uhhhhhh....sometimes)


Posted by: Entropy at March 29, 2007 11:36 AM (m6c4H)

7 I've buffed my car with better fabric than what Selena's wearing.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at March 29, 2007 11:39 AM (e72PW)

8

I had no idea they stripped at Hooters. I thought you guys just went there for the wings.


Uh.  Yes.  Yeah.


Posted by: Dave in Texas at March 29, 2007 11:39 AM (pzen5)

9

No wait I mean strippers no, wings yes.


 


 


me go now.  Ungawa


Posted by: Dave in Texas at March 29, 2007 11:40 AM (pzen5)

10

p.j....Have you tried their wings? worst. ever.


 Food is not what they are known for.


Posted by: Bosk at March 29, 2007 11:41 AM (+aNmG)

11 Just another problem to blame on "Bush".

Posted by: Rosie at March 29, 2007 11:41 AM (IdGkA)

12

Some go to Hooters for the chicken wings and others for the stripper waitresses.  I go for the Chicken Strips.


Posted by: roc ingersol at March 29, 2007 11:42 AM (m2CN7)

13 I used to live in Norwalk, the next town over from Westport. One joke we had about Westport is that the rainbows that you would occasionally see over Westport were actually racial detectors.

Must keep the riff-raff out, don't you know.  [sniff]

Posted by: wiserbud at March 29, 2007 11:49 AM (MHgrV)

14 Also, they would never allow a Hooters into Westport. 

But i believe they do have a Décolletage. 

Much more ....refined, don't you know.  [sniff]

Posted by: wiserbud at March 29, 2007 11:55 AM (MHgrV)

15 I can only hope she's gets those articles in her in-box from someone, he completely and utterly destroys her.  But, I'm sure she is to proud to read such blather about herself.

Posted by: Judd at March 29, 2007 12:04 PM (/pHM6)

16

p.j....Have you tried their wings? worst. ever.


You must be a homosexual, because their wings are actually rather excellent.


I like to get the 911 wings and pitcher of beer, but usually they'll gripe about giving you a pitcher if your by yourself. They'll sell you 3 beers for like $2 more, but they won't give you the damn pitcher unless someone else is drinking.


Posted by: Entropy at March 29, 2007 12:07 PM (m6c4H)

17

They'll sell you 3 beers for like $2 more, but they won't give you the damn pitcher unless someone else is drinking.


Maybe you could rent a friend?


Posted by: pajama momma at March 29, 2007 12:12 PM (Pzdiv)

18 They'll sell you 3 beers for like $2 more, but they won't give you the damn pitcher unless someone else is drinking.

My buddy and I were in a Hooters in Dallas one afternoon a few years back.  We both knocked back about 10 beers each before the waitress told us that, due to Hooter's policies, she couldn't serve us anymore on the tab we had running.  However, we could settle up that tab and start again if we wanted to, which of course we did.

Damn good policy that is, right there.

Posted by: wiserbud at March 29, 2007 12:21 PM (WOPFA)

19 Maybe you could rent a friend?

I think that's illegal, isn't it?

Posted by: wiserbud at March 29, 2007 12:23 PM (WOPFA)

20 that broad is so plain, my eyes went immediately to the wall behind her. Beige, nice color.

Posted by: mark c at March 29, 2007 12:33 PM (sgmtF)

21

You would think with the name Hooters, most of the restaurants would have a lot of stuffed owls or something but they really don't.


I find that kinda odd.


Posted by: Rosetta at March 29, 2007 12:36 PM (omkIU)

22 I find that kinda odd....

being such a huge fan of stuffing owls, such that you are, right?

Posted by: wiserbud at March 29, 2007 12:37 PM (WOPFA)

23

I heard that you like stuffed awls, wiserbud.


On a tree stump besides a nature path near a train station.


Posted by: Rosetta at March 29, 2007 12:43 PM (omkIU)

24 I took my wife and daughters to Hooters - it happened to be the only thing open in the East Rochester area after a gymnastics meet.  The wings were good, and my wife asked me to take her there again.

I am a lucky guy.
 



Posted by: MarkD at March 29, 2007 12:49 PM (CZzWE)

25 I heard that you like stuffed awls, wiserbud.

Geez, can't a guy have a hobby?

Posted by: wiserbud at March 29, 2007 12:51 PM (WOPFA)

26

Hooters should start a sister restaurant called Beavers.


It would be like the Camel Toe Depot.


Posted by: Rosetta at March 29, 2007 12:55 PM (omkIU)

27 Maybe you could rent a friend?

I think most of the morons on here have to do this, anyway, PJM

Not me, though.  I'm different.


Posted by: OregonMuse at March 29, 2007 02:26 PM (CkYzD)

28 Rossetta is... Stuffing the Owl

Posted by: OregonMuse at March 29, 2007 02:27 PM (CkYzD)

29 Meh. Rosetta.  PIMF.


Posted by: OregonMuse at March 29, 2007 02:27 PM (CkYzD)

30 And God bless KC Johnson.  The guy is a liberal prof in NY who has consistently provided the best damn coverage of the Duke "rape" fiasco bar none.  Not to mention the most intelligent commentary.


Posted by: OregonMuse at March 29, 2007 02:30 PM (CkYzD)

31

I think most of the morons on here have to do this, anyway, PJM
Not me, though.  I'm different.


I know, you're special. All the boys here are.


Posted by: pajama momma at March 29, 2007 02:50 PM (Pzdiv)

32 Her eyes are severly asymetrical - bad genes, that.

Posted by: holdfast at March 29, 2007 03:13 PM (Gzb30)

33 you're special. All the boys here are.

*running in circles and clapping hands*

YAAAAAYYY!...I'm special! I'm special! I'm special! I'm special! I'm special! I'm special! I'm special! I'm special! YAYYYYY! I'm special! I'm special! I'm special! I'm special! I'm special! I'm special!

*pauses to adjust helmet, then resumes running in circles, clapping hands*

I'm special! I'm special! I'm special! YAYYYYY! I'm special! I'm special! I'm special! I'm special! I'm special! I'm special! I'm special! I'm special! I'm special! I'm special! I'm special! I'm special! I'm special! YAAAAAYYYY!!!!  I'm special! I'm special! I'm special!

Posted by: (not) Rosetta at March 29, 2007 03:16 PM (WOPFA)

34 Oddly enough, Westport is home to one of the few ghey bars in the area.  (A friend of mine used to date a girl who lived next to it.... really!) 

Posted by: Red in CT at March 29, 2007 11:08 PM (prwl+)

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