June 29, 2016

James Cameron: Star Wars: The Force Awakens Was Just the Same Crap We've Seen Six Times Before
— Ace

He's a friend of George Lucas, and that friendship causes him to claim insane things, like hinting that he thought the prequels were good, or at least sported an innovative visual style.

But he's right that we've seen all this crap before.

Cameron started out nicely, complimenting the Star Wars directors, before unleashing his criticisms of The Force Awakens.

He said: “George Lucas is a friend of mine, and he and I were having a good conversation the other day about it.

“I don’t want to say too much about the film. I also have a lot of respect for J.J. Abrams, and I want to see where they’re taking it next."

However he didn't leave it there...

He continued: "I have to say that I felt that George's group of six films had more innovative visual imagination.

"This film was more of a retrenchment to things you had seen before and characters you have seen before and it took a few baby steps forward with new characters.

"So for me, the jury's out. I want to see where they’re going with it."

Posted by: Ace at 10:54 AM | Comments (361)
Post contains 217 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Meesa!

Posted by: Jar Jar Binks at June 29, 2016 10:49 AM (XVTvT)

2 I liked it, and you can't shame me into not liking it. Nyah.

Posted by: Lance McCormick at June 29, 2016 10:49 AM (u0s1P)

3 Sigh. It's just a damn movie.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at June 29, 2016 10:50 AM (iQIUe)

4 It was Gluten and Obi-Wan free, so it had that to distinguish itself

Posted by: derit at June 29, 2016 10:51 AM (ewfUZ)

5 Ironic coming from the guy who just redid Fern Gully.

Posted by: Astyrix at June 29, 2016 10:51 AM (uOY1W)

6 Just like the new Star Treks. Same stuff different pictures. BORING

Posted by: Drill_Thrawl at June 29, 2016 10:52 AM (Tith9)

7
It's Crap!

Posted by: The Critic at June 29, 2016 10:52 AM (TMgNe)

8 he's just pissed cuz there was no Jar Jar

Posted by: ghost of hallelujah at June 29, 2016 10:52 AM (dBmVV)

9 I agree 100% that the prequels were far, far more visually arresting than the The Force Awakens.

Posted by: Serious Cat at June 29, 2016 10:52 AM (Uy6ri)

10 "Just the Same Crap We've Seen Six Times Before" Just like Avatar.

Posted by: Benji Carver at June 29, 2016 10:53 AM (OD2ni)

11 Arresting, as in subdued with extreme prejudice?

Posted by: derit at June 29, 2016 10:53 AM (ewfUZ)

12 Han Solo and Darth Vader held a 30 minute meeting aboard the Millennium Falcon. When asked to comment Darth said they only talked about grand kids and where to vacation in the Dagoba system.

Posted by: Minnfidel at June 29, 2016 10:54 AM (EowmZ)

13 The butthurt is strong with this one.

Posted by: Obi Wouldjahblowme at June 29, 2016 10:54 AM (99UcJ)

14

It's schwarbage.

Posted by: Old Cranky Bruce Wayne

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at June 29, 2016 10:54 AM (kdS6q)

15 Notice, he's talking about visual elements. Not the story. He's talking about designs of space ships and aliens. James Cameron does not give two fcks about story or character.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 10:54 AM (8o3AL)

16 I want to see where they're going with it.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show in outer space would be my guess.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at June 29, 2016 10:55 AM (R+30W)

17 I give it two mehs.

Posted by: Joe Mama at June 29, 2016 10:55 AM (TMgNe)

18 "Just the Same Crap We've Seen Six Times Before" Just like Avatar. That was my first thought the moment I read the title.

Posted by: Grey Fox at June 29, 2016 10:56 AM (bZ7mE)

19 Well I thought Titanic was one of the most overrated pieces of shit I've ever sat through. So everyone's a critic James.

Posted by: Minnfidel at June 29, 2016 10:56 AM (EowmZ)

20 18 "Just the Same Crap We've Seen Six Times Before" Just like Avatar. That was my first thought the moment I read the title. Posted by: Grey Fox at June 29, 2016 03:56 PM (bZ7mE) ================== As I said on another site: Thank you, Mr. "I remade Dances With Wolves with Blue People in SPACE!!!!".

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 10:56 AM (8o3AL)

21 I think the Droid army is just as original and well designed as the Empire's storm troopers and vehicles.  Though, the Empire had much better spaceships.

Posted by: Serious Cat at June 29, 2016 10:56 AM (Uy6ri)

22 And if anyone knows about rehashing existing films to churn out a billion dollar blockbuster, it's James "Dances With Smurfs" Cameron.

Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at June 29, 2016 10:57 AM (kumBu)

23 Ummm...yeah-- you do know that Cameron thinks Global Warming is real, right?  I mean he really believes it.  Not fake-believes it like most of the warmists who are in it to fool the useful idiots for fun and profit.  He believes it for real-reals. 

This man is Casey Anthony Juror Level Stupid.

His opinion weighs less than sunshine.

Posted by: Agent Cooper at June 29, 2016 10:57 AM (af1YM)

24

You know what that new Star Wars movie needed?

More blockades and trade negotiations.

Posted by: Stereotypically "Asian" Space Aliens

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at June 29, 2016 10:58 AM (kdS6q)

25 I'm a Star Wars superfan, and my nerdy FB friends were on me like starved rottweilers when I expressed my annoyance that they did a shot-for-shot remake of A New Hope instead of trying anything remotely new or exciting from a story perspective. I bet in a year, when all the hype has died down, people will rank it on the same level as the prequels. Only Attack of the Clones is worse, IMHO. But then again, I'm weird and think Jedi and Sith are the two best films in the series. My opinion on it basically boils down to whether or not the next two are any good. Even if there's some plot reason for Rey to be the Ultimate Mary Sue, it's not going to be enough to bring back my suspension of disbelief.

Posted by: Mr_UNIVAC at June 29, 2016 10:58 AM (r6SJw)

26 Star Wars! nothing but staaaar wars-

Posted by: And how about that nutty Star Wars bar at June 29, 2016 10:58 AM (Sp1NT)

27 I never caught Star Wars fever when it was new and a thing, so I never got the commotion over it. Having seen a few? Meh. But I'm not a big fan of science fiction, so I'm the wrong person to ask.

Posted by: JoeF. at June 29, 2016 10:58 AM (GCo+g)

28 23 Ummm...yeah-- you do know that Cameron thinks Global Warming is real, right? I mean he really believes it. Not fake-believes it like most of the warmists who are in it to fool the useful idiots for fun and profit. He believes it for real-reals. This man is Casey Anthony Juror Level Stupid. His opinion weighs less than sunshine. Posted by: Agent Cooper at June 29, 2016 03:57 PM (af1YM) ======================== He believes it so hard he's going to spend hundreds of millions of dollars and burn how many tons of carbon to make 3 (3!) huge sequels to a movie most people have forgotten existed. For the planet.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 10:59 AM (8o3AL)

29 I thought Reagan did Star Wars.

Posted by: JoeF. at June 29, 2016 10:59 AM (GCo+g)

30 Titanic, what a shit show.

Posted by: The Jackhole somewhere on Ventura Highway at June 29, 2016 10:59 AM (dULJN)

31 Well, it was almost the same as the 1st one (the real 1st one) except a girl, so....

Posted by: Barack the Magnificent at June 29, 2016 11:00 AM (NOIQH)

32 The prequels weren't good films for acting, directing, and some story reasons. But they at least offered new ideas and concepts to the mythos. JJ "Tribute Band" Abrams just rehashed the other films. I didn't hate the film but it did bore me. Lucas was friends with Milius. I wonder what would have happened had he brought in Milius to punch up the story and dialog a bit?

Posted by: WOPR - Nationalist at June 29, 2016 11:00 AM (f4FTW)

33 glass houses titanic = romeo and juliet avatar = dances with wolves

Posted by: dan at June 29, 2016 11:01 AM (/Yhfj)

34 Just like Avatar. Posted by: Benji Carver at June 29, 2016 03:53 PM (OD2ni) Can't disagree there.

Posted by: WOPR - Nationalist at June 29, 2016 11:01 AM (f4FTW)

35 I thought Reagan did Star Wars. Posted by: JoeF.

Nah. That was "Bedtime For Gorbachev"

Posted by: Joe Mama at June 29, 2016 11:01 AM (TMgNe)

36 Good thing we're all boycotting this crap, right?

RIGHT?

Posted by: Chupacabra at June 29, 2016 11:01 AM (V40IZ)

37 Star Was.

Posted by: Bigbys Cellphone at June 29, 2016 11:01 AM (TaJ8L)

38 I am not a Star Wars fan so the only thing I can tell from the previews is that they have exceeded their diversity and girl power requirements.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at June 29, 2016 11:02 AM (34alA)

39 Short review. I'm disappointed.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at June 29, 2016 11:02 AM (voOPb)

40 Lucas was friends with Milius. I wonder what would have happened had he brought in Milius to punch up the story and dialog a bit? Slave Leia from the get go. Han rolls Jabba in an alleyway during the deleted scene. Chewbaca eats one of those gnome things...

Posted by: derit at June 29, 2016 11:02 AM (ewfUZ)

41 I think the Spock character really did not have enough of a role.

Posted by: Joe Mama at June 29, 2016 11:02 AM (TMgNe)

42 The original Star Wars was good.  Mostly because it was new.  The sequel was OK.  The rest are garbage.

Posted by: Vic[/i] We Have No Party at June 29, 2016 11:03 AM (mpXpK)

43 You know what that new Star Wars movie needed?

More blockades and trade negotiations.

Posted by: Stereotypically "Asian" Space Aliens


The sad thing is that an armed trade dispute is exactly the thing I would expect to bring down a moribund and corrupt old republic, as events spiraled out of control. It could have been a very good beginning, had Lucas been interested in doing a bit of real world-building and intelligent exposition, as well as acknowledging the very obvious fact that the republic had serious problems.

Posted by: Grey Fox at June 29, 2016 11:03 AM (bZ7mE)

44 It seems Lucas and Cameron must be racists. SW:TFA has a major character of color. It is the greatest of all the films. Plus, the main protagonist has a vagina. Admittedly she was born with it but you can't have everything.

Posted by: Laughing in Texas at June 29, 2016 11:03 AM (eBNjM)

45 40 Lucas was friends with Milius. I wonder what would have happened had he brought in Milius to punch up the story and dialog a bit? Slave Leia from the get go. Han rolls Jabba in an alleyway during the deleted scene. Chewbaca eats one of those gnome things... Posted by: derit at June 29, 2016 04:02 PM (ewfUZ) ======================== Coded dialogue about the greatness of the Vietnam War.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:04 AM (8o3AL)

46 Space Balls was way better.

Posted by: ajmojo at June 29, 2016 11:04 AM (1H9ox)

47 I just saw a commercial for the new 7 samurai err I mean the magnificent 7

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at June 29, 2016 11:04 AM (6Ll1u)

48 The new Star Trek previews look pretty good.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at June 29, 2016 11:04 AM (34alA)

49 At least Abrams will be off for future installments.  I've never been overly impressed with his movies.  Very safe.  Like gauranteed B- works, but nothing close to greatness.

IMO, the fatal mistake for the new trilogy is the decision to reconstitute the Empire instead of coming up with a new menace.  It makes the SW Galaxy seem small and contrived.

Posted by: Serious Cat at June 29, 2016 11:05 AM (Uy6ri)

50 Not a big Star Wars fan so won't be rushing out to see it anyway

Posted by: Skip at June 29, 2016 11:05 AM (mP1y7)

51 36 Good thing we're all boycotting this crap, right?

RIGHT?

Posted by: Chupacabra at June 29, 2016 04:01 PM (V40IZ)


I do own the URL, anyone wanna buy it?

Posted by: Obi Wouldjahblowme at June 29, 2016 11:05 AM (99UcJ)

52 Yeah, sorry. I can get behind the boycott of Disney in general and Marvel more specifically, but I'm not going to stop watching Star Wars. I'll grant that Ep7 could have been more original, but they were sort of put in a no-win situation. Harrison Ford was going to steal the show in any Star Wars movie he was in. Now that they've established the new cast, and those new characters are actually good, they're going to branch out.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at June 29, 2016 11:06 AM (KUaJL)

53 "I bet in a year, when all the hype has died down, people will rank it on the same level as the prequels. Only Attack of the Clones is worse, IMHO." I don't know, The Phantom Menace was dreadful.

Posted by: Benji Carver at June 29, 2016 11:06 AM (OD2ni)

54 46 Space Balls was way better. Posted by: ajmojo at June 29, 2016 04:04 PM (1H9ox) ================== Dear God no. Spaceballs is the work of a parodist who doesn't understand what he's parodying. There's a reason Young Frankenstein and Blazing Saddles work so much better: Brooks actually liked the movies he was sending up.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:06 AM (8o3AL)

55 The movie kinda sucked.  The only reason for the qualifier was Harrison Ford.  I loved his character.  Everything else was terrible.

I didn't realize it until I saw the movie a second time.  The first time I went with my kids.  We all enjoyed it because we were watching the new film together, something we had never done before.  Sure, we watched the other films with them, but we had seen them before and they had not.

Star Wars VII was new to all of us.  So it was exciting and the excitement glossed over just how played it was.  It was Start Wars IV all over again.

I hope they branch out a bit with this next one.  Empire was great but I don't need a clone of it.

I also hope Rogue One is awesome.  The Star Wars franchise needs to go in new directions.

Posted by: MacGruber at June 29, 2016 11:06 AM (sgrzZ)

56 Mary Sue, the most badass pilot and Jedi ever, adventures across the universe will get old pretty quickly without all the fan service old characters. Who am I kidding, it could be two hours of her locked in a bathroom and it'd make a billion dollars.

Posted by: brak at June 29, 2016 11:06 AM (MJuTN)

57 I never caught Star Wars fever when it was new and a thing, so I never got the commotion over it. Having seen a few? Meh. But I'm not a big fan of science fiction, so I'm the wrong person to ask. ---- I'm a decent enough fan of science fiction but that series is stupid to me as well. And I saw it new too.

Posted by: Bigbys Cellphone at June 29, 2016 11:06 AM (TaJ8L)

58 6 Just like the new Star Treks. Same stuff different pictures.

BORING

Posted by: Drill_Thrawl at June 29, 2016 03:52 PM (Tith9)


Star Trek is different.  The first movie sucked. The second one with Khan was probably the best as far as the public went.  I liked the 4th the best because if have always like time travel.  And besides, Catherine Hicks displayed a fine set of headlights throughout the film.

Posted by: Vic[/i] We Have No Party at June 29, 2016 11:07 AM (mpXpK)

59 Way off topic but Barry the Genius just said that We must look at what we can do to boost global demand. Sure Barry, you hop right on that and let us know how that goes

Posted by: TheQuietMan at June 29, 2016 11:07 AM (493sH)

60 Oh and whatever his faults, Lucas knows how to use music in his films. TFA's music was completely irrelevant.

Posted by: WOPR - Nationalist at June 29, 2016 11:07 AM (f4FTW)

61 >>Spaceballs is the work of a parodist who doesn't understand what he's parodying. >>There's a reason Young Frankenstein and Blazing Saddles work so much better: Brooks actually liked the movies he was sending up. Brooks did Spaceballs, too.

Posted by: JackStraw at June 29, 2016 11:09 AM (/tuJf)

62 "30 Titanic, what a shit show." At least we got to see Kate Winslet's cans.

Posted by: Benji Carver at June 29, 2016 11:09 AM (OD2ni)

63 Mary Sue, the most badass pilot and Jedi ever, adventures across the universe will get old pretty quickly without all the fan service old characters. Maybe "Prometheus 2" could do that, oh wait...

Posted by: derit at June 29, 2016 11:09 AM (ewfUZ)

64 I saw Warcraft recently. Simple popcorn movie. The politics were understated and not blatant. Only thing missing was a topless scene from the orc babe.

Posted by: Testicus at June 29, 2016 11:09 AM (XVTvT)

65 The problem with Star Wars is that George Lucas doesn't have the mojo to write an epic, and you can't do it on the fly. Write the epic first, then make the movie. Even then, name a really good epic story ..... uh, maybe Lord of the Rings? The Matrix fell apart in later movies, Terminator fell apart in later movies, what else? Bourne/Bond/superhero/Indiana Jones/porn really are individual adventures that don't necessarily have to make sense or be coherent parts of a larger narrative. Lucas didn't know when to quit. Prequels blew, and the new series isn't really setting my balls on fire. Unless they cast Winona Ryder in something sheer, with lots of bouncing.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at June 29, 2016 11:09 AM (5a+0E)

66 >>Mary Sue, the most badass pilot and Jedi ever, adventures across the universe will get old pretty quickly without all the fan service old characters.

Especially when Mary Sue is magically an excellent pilot and mechanic after working as a scavenger all her life. Sure, OK.

Posted by: Barack the Magnificent at June 29, 2016 11:09 AM (NOIQH)

67 He continued: "I have to say that I felt that George's group of six films had more innovative visual imagination. Really? The prequels had innovative visual imagination? I guess "look here is some shit, and I put it on film!" could be called imagination.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 11:09 AM (3ZoRf)

68 I thought that was the point, old is new or something like that. Didnt he try to tie the new movies to the old?

Posted by: Jean at June 29, 2016 11:10 AM (Doh4+)

69 Ofcourse we've seen it all before.  Next thing you know, JJ Abrams will have a new type of alien that deposits an egg/embryo inside its victim through the esophagus, which then matures and rips its way out through the abdomen.  Or an assassin robot covered in human flesh, that feels no pity, no pain, and will absolutely not stop coming after you until you're dead.

Posted by: EC at June 29, 2016 11:10 AM (oIkQ6)

70 Brooks liked Hitchcock, too, but High Anxiety is not in the class of YF and BS.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at June 29, 2016 11:11 AM (5a+0E)

71 meet the new star wars same as the old star wars.

Posted by: dantesed at June 29, 2016 11:11 AM (88xKn)

72 61 >>Spaceballs is the work of a parodist who doesn't understand what he's parodying. >>There's a reason Young Frankenstein and Blazing Saddles work so much better: Brooks actually liked the movies he was sending up. Brooks did Spaceballs, too. Posted by: JackStraw at June 29, 2016 04:09 PM (/tuJf) =================== Well, what do you know? I knew that. Brooks didn't understand Star Wars.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:11 AM (8o3AL)

73 HAN SHOT FIRST!!!!!!

Posted by: Neckbeard in Mom's basement at June 29, 2016 11:11 AM (OD2ni)

74 I think Mel Brooks always did his best work with Gene Wilder.

And same for Gene with Mel.

Those movies were the pinnacle for both. To me, Spaceballs was huffing those fumes. And then you got Life Stinks and See No Evil, Hear No Evil.

Posted by: Chupacabra at June 29, 2016 11:11 AM (V40IZ)

75 I actually liked the Force Awakens, which I did not expect. Flynn came across as a real, sympathetic character, whose skin color was incidental to his role instead of being a token minority, and Rey was easy on the eyes and at least looked absolutely terrified at points where she ought to have been terrified. Too much Grlll Power, of course, but not as bad as it could have been.

The biggest problem was the pacing, IMHO - they tried to fit a ton of plot points into too short a time, which meant they came across as pretty forced in some cases. Didn't flow naturally the way the original did.

Posted by: Grey Fox at June 29, 2016 11:12 AM (bZ7mE)

76 The original Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back are my favorites. The prequels were so bad. I wish he had never made them. That said, I don't think The Force Awakens was that bad. I thought I would hate it, but I didn't. There was enough to like in it that I didn't feel that it was a total waste of time and money.

Posted by: L, Elle at June 29, 2016 11:12 AM (6IPEM)

77 70 Brooks liked Hitchcock, too, but High Anxiety is not in the class of YF and BS. Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at June 29, 2016 04:11 PM (5a+0E) ==================== It's also better than Spaceballs.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:12 AM (8o3AL)

78 Now that they've established the new cast, and those new characters are actually good, they're going to branch out. Posted by: joe, living dangerously at June 29, 2016 04:06 PM (KUaJL) The new characters are horrible. Luke is going to steal the show in the next one if they have any hope. Rey: Too good at everything. Poe: Ridiculously good pilot. I mean absurd. Fin: Huh, I suddenly have a moral center and am normal like everyone else.

Posted by: WOPR - Nationalist at June 29, 2016 11:12 AM (f4FTW)

79 Star Trek is different. The first movie sucked. The second one with Khan was probably the best as far as the public went. I liked the 4th the best because if have always like time travel. And besides, Catherine Hicks displayed a fine set of headlights throughout the film. Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at June 29, 2016 04:07 PM (mpXpK) I was referring to 10, 11, 12. All pictures and booms and plots. To me Wrath is a top 10 sci-fi, Like 4 and 6. Hicks Headlights. Double Plus Good

Posted by: Drill_Thrawl at June 29, 2016 11:12 AM (Tith9)

80 Boost global demand? He didn't say that. Come on.

Posted by: Bigbys Cellphone at June 29, 2016 11:13 AM (TaJ8L)

81 jar jar was a sith lord or some kind of high level force user and they should have stayed with that.

Also, Padme's hand on Obi-Wan's leg? Superfecundation baby. baby. Anakin knew.

Posted by: dave dave dave at June 29, 2016 11:13 AM (0+srV)

82 Rey was easy on the eyes Chewbacca is PedoBear!

Posted by: derit at June 29, 2016 11:14 AM (ewfUZ)

83 My nuts are sweaty, but it is 110 out.

Posted by: Killerdog at June 29, 2016 11:14 AM (LgUpL)

84 Says the guy who ripped of smurfs.

Posted by: Lauren...TEXIT at June 29, 2016 11:14 AM (Dxa+Y)

85 75 I actually liked the Force Awakens, which I did not expect. Flynn came across as a real, sympathetic character, whose skin color was incidental to his role instead of being a token minority, and Rey was easy on the eyes and at least looked absolutely terrified at points where she ought to have been terrified. Too much Grlll Power, of course, but not as bad as it could have been. The biggest problem was the pacing, IMHO - they tried to fit a ton of plot points into too short a time, which meant they came across as pretty forced in some cases. Didn't flow naturally the way the original did. Posted by: Grey Fox at June 29, 2016 04:12 PM (bZ7mE) I agree. Rey is definitely easy on the eyes (the accent does not hurt either.) The Michael Bay pacing could have been done better. Another gripe is that there did not seem to really be much of a sense of menace to the movie.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 11:14 AM (3ZoRf)

86 I'm trying to think about the last time I gave a crap about anything James Cameron has said. mmmmm.... That would be never.

Posted by: Diogenes at June 29, 2016 11:14 AM (r65B3)

87 The entirety of Episode 7 is summed up in the first line "This will begin to make things right" The point of it was to prove to the fanbase that there would be no Jar Jar. Ep. 7 succeeded magnificently in that. Until that trust was rebuilt, there was no point in trying anything different or attempting to push the envelope. I must say I have a love/hate response to Cameron. Terminator (first movie) is such a wonderful example of cutting away every single extraneous bit of a movie and just hurtling the story along. But when he opens his mouth, he's such a pompous asshat. I do appreciate, however, that he had what were widely considered pre-release to the most expensive bombs ever made (Titanic and then Avatar) and those are the two top grossing films of all time. That is deliciously ironic. Also, I do respect that he is using his movie making to fund his true passion of deep sea research. But, boy howdy, can he be an asshat.

Posted by: alexthechick - I despair I despair at June 29, 2016 11:15 AM (mf5HN)

88 30 Titanic, what a shit show.

Posted by: The Jackhole somewhere on Ventura Highway at June 29, 2016 03:59 PM (dULJN)


You know what?  I actually saw "Titanic" in the theater.  It sucked.  AND it got me in trouble. 

There's a scene near the end when the ship starts to go stern up as it sinks.   People are hanging on to whatever they can.  Eventually the boat goes completely stern up, and people are dropping from the stern.  It's a long way to fall, and as they go down, they made little *PING*PONG*PING* noises as they hit various deck fixtures.  Like a big pinball machine of icy death.

It was HILARIOUS.  I couldn't help myself.  I bit my lip as hard as I could, but I just couldn't hold the laughter in.  What looks I got!  The friends I was with were so mad at me.  I tried to apologize but I was laughing and tearing up too hard.

People have no sense of humor, sheesh! 

Ooops, I didn't mean to spoil the end.  The ship sinks!

Posted by: Agent Cooper at June 29, 2016 11:15 AM (af1YM)

89 Off

Posted by: Lauren...TEXIT at June 29, 2016 11:15 AM (Dxa+Y)

90 "Better than Spaceballs" WTH? I blame Brexit.

Posted by: Anon a mouse... at June 29, 2016 11:15 AM (C9pBZ)

91 70 Brooks liked Hitchcock, too, but High Anxiety is not in the class of YF and BS. Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at June 29, 2016 04:11 PM (5a+0E) ==================== It's also better than Spaceballs. ... And, as per my original point, Spaceballs was way better than The Force Awakens.

Posted by: ajmojo at June 29, 2016 11:15 AM (1H9ox)

92 I minded the rehashing less than the Mary Sue-ing, which was painful. Sloppy writing to give fan service to the "fans" that are ruining sci-fi as another thing in the long list of "Things That Must Be Destroyed Because Straight Men Like Them." For other examples, see Pink October in the NFL, the Jenner fellating in magazines formerly marketed for men, a "plus size" model on the cover of the SI Swimsuit issue, feminism rants in comics along with re-gendering/re-racing classic characters, etc.

Posted by: shillelagh at June 29, 2016 11:16 AM (L3vVL)

93 "74 I think Mel Brooks always did his best work with Gene Wilder. And same for Gene with Mel. Those movies were the pinnacle for both." The Producers as well. Brooks really brought out the best in Wilder. I did not care for the Broderick/Lane remake.

Posted by: Benji Carver at June 29, 2016 11:16 AM (OD2ni)

94 >>Brooks didn't understand Star Wars. He must think he does. He announced earlier this year he's making a Spaceballs sequel.

Posted by: JackStraw at June 29, 2016 11:16 AM (/tuJf)

95 It is truly a crappy movie, just like the Star Trek flicks...no cohesive story and people doing really stupid things. it even looked small and bad, cheap too. And to top it off, it was super boring,

Posted by: Dr Rev E Buzzles at June 29, 2016 11:16 AM (mop5z)

96 87 Posted by: alexthechick - I despair I despair at June 29, 2016 04:15 PM (mf5HN) ==================== What she said.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:16 AM (8o3AL)

97 excellent pilot and mechanic after working as a scavenger all her life. But, that actually fits with the Skywalker force gift. Just like her Grandfather, building podracers as a 9 yo kid.

Posted by: Jean at June 29, 2016 11:17 AM (Doh4+)

98 I just wish Abrams had changed two things in Ep 7. Hear me out. 1) Make Jakku not a desert planet. Make it any other planet. Make it a junkyard world or something. The visual similarity between a desert planet opening and Tattooine is just way too much. 2) Get rid of the death star rip off. That part wasn't necessary to the plot at all. The movie climax happened because Rey was captured and the evil Imperial fleet knew where the Resistance headquarters was. Just make it a regular old invasion/star fight. I'm withholding my judgement about Rey being a Mary Sue until we see Ep 8. It's hinted that she's probably actually had Jedi training, just doesn't remember it. I'm waiting for her backstory before declaring her unrealistically competent in everything.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at June 29, 2016 11:17 AM (KUaJL)

99 86 I'm trying to think about the last time I gave a crap about anything James Cameron has said. mmmmm.... That would be never. Posted by: Diogenes at June 29, 2016 04:14 PM (r65B3) I lost a shit ton of respect for the dude when I was listening to the director's commentary for Aliens and he said he tried to make it an allegory for Vietnam. He did soften it by pointing out that he made it when he was young, then had worked with a lot of vets and had developed far greater respect for them. Then he made Avatar, and showed he was still a douche.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 11:17 AM (3ZoRf)

100 pew
pew
pew

Posted by: Roland [OMITTED] at June 29, 2016 11:17 AM (QM5S2)

101 "People are hanging on to whatever they can. Eventually the boat goes completely stern up, and people are dropping from the stern." I was a teenage girl, and even I laughed when the guy hit the propeller.

Posted by: Lauren...TEXIT at June 29, 2016 11:17 AM (Dxa+Y)

102 Honestly, I'd be more excited to see a sequel to Willow than the next SW movie.

Posted by: Serious Cat at June 29, 2016 11:17 AM (Uy6ri)

103 42 The original Star Wars was good. Mostly because it was new. The sequel was OK. The rest are garbage. Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at June 29, 2016 04:03 PM (mpXpK) Generally my feelings. First three were great as a kid. Literally haven't stayed awake through a single one since they brought it back post-80s. And I'm really good at staying awake. People were all excited for this one, tried to watch it at home, nope, fell asleep again. If filmmakers want to do something great, there are so many incredible war books that need a movie. Last Stand of Fox Company. With the Old Breed. Matterhorn (which, if you're familiar with Marlantes' service, probably shouldn't have been called a "novel" simply because he changed some names). Fields of Fire (last good thing Jim Webb did). Brute. Shit, go back to Thermopylae and do it right with Pressfield's Gates of Fire. So much good material. So little effort to do anything other than rehash bullshit.

Posted by: 0302 at June 29, 2016 11:18 AM (wx6iv)

104 Mel Brooks movies in order greatest to shat: Blazing Saddles Young Frankenstein High Anxiety The Producers Silent Movie History of the World Pt 1 Robin Hood & Spaceballs Everything else

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at June 29, 2016 11:18 AM (5a+0E)

105 James Cameron CAN make a good movie sometimes, like the original Terminator, but success has ruined him. He has turned into Michael Bay, hiding behind his special effects budget. There's no more "I came across time for you, Sarah", of two shell-shocked people hiding in dark storm drain.

I still think the original Terminator was one of the most innovative sci-fi films ever made.

Trivia, Rick Rossovitch, Sarah's roommate's boyfriend who got in the dirty phone call and lasted ten seconds fighting Ahnuld, also flew backseat for Val Kilmer in Top Gun and was the SEAL platoon medic for Biehn and Sheen (and Bill Paxton!) in Navy SEALs. Unappreciated bit player.

Posted by: Colonel Kurtz at June 29, 2016 11:18 AM (5exbe)

106 James Cameron: Star Wars: The Force Awakens Was Just the Same Crap We've Seen Six Times Before

Pretty funny from the guy who made Dirty Dancing With Smurfs.

Posted by: physics geek at June 29, 2016 11:18 AM (MT22W)

107 Says the asshole who stole all the good parts of "Totanic" from the much netter "A Night To Remember", shot for shot.

Posted by: Kerry Lawson at June 29, 2016 11:18 AM (SEFXb)

108 Mighty funny Mr. Cooper, or should we just call you agent? lol

Posted by: Killerdog at June 29, 2016 11:19 AM (LgUpL)

109 Honestly, I'd be more excited to see a sequel to Willow than the next SW movie. ... Ooh yeah...or The Dark Crystal. Or Krull.

Posted by: ajmojo at June 29, 2016 11:19 AM (1H9ox)

110 94 >>Brooks didn't understand Star Wars. He must think he does. He announced earlier this year he's making a Spaceballs sequel. Posted by: JackStraw at June 29, 2016 04:16 PM (/tuJf) ==================== He's said that every few years for a decade. I'll believe it when I see it. The man is 90 years old and sits on a mountain of cash from The Producers. I doubt he wants to try and get behind the camera again. And just because he wants to make a Star Wars parody doesn't mean that he actually understands Star Wars. Look at the crap like Disaster Movie, Epic Movie, or Meet the Spartans. Those hacks wanted to make parodies, and made "movies" that don't understand what they're parodying.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:19 AM (8o3AL)

111 102 Honestly, I'd be more excited to see a sequel to Willow than the next SW movie. Posted by: Serious Cat at June 29, 2016 04:17 PM (Uy6ri) Well, I need to start exercising, but sure.

Posted by: Val Kilmer at June 29, 2016 11:19 AM (3ZoRf)

112 I'm done with Star Warts. It's now become a political vehicle and the producers will not be getting another dime from me.

Posted by: weft cut-loop[/i] [/b] at June 29, 2016 11:19 AM (p2X2f)

113 OK looked it up Obama is copying Japanese PM Shinzo Abe who wants to boost global demand through loosening supply side restrictions Which is why it's so hilarious to imagine TFG saying that.

Posted by: Bigbys Cellphone at June 29, 2016 11:20 AM (TaJ8L)

114 It's also better than Spaceballs.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 04:12 PM (8o3AL)

You, sir, have gone too far!

:-)

Posted by: Agent Cooper at June 29, 2016 11:20 AM (af1YM)

115 I will happily go to my grave not having seen Titanic.

Posted by: Roland [OMITTED] at June 29, 2016 11:20 AM (QM5S2)

116 seems that every dork who was a kid in the 70s / early 80s likes Star Wars


the first three were okay as kids' movies; the other three sucked donkey balls


now get off my lawn

Posted by: Ho Lee Fuk at June 29, 2016 11:20 AM (/542q)

117 "Trivia, Rick Rossovitch, Sarah's roommate's boyfriend who got in the dirty phone call and lasted ten seconds fighting Ahnuld," Matt, right? I liked that guy. He was no pussy.

Posted by: Benji Carver at June 29, 2016 11:20 AM (OD2ni)

118 It must really hurt people in Hollywood to make a movie where the big, all-encompassing government isn't the good side and loses at the end.

Posted by: FaCubeItches at June 29, 2016 11:20 AM (rznWS)

119 I agree. They took the franchise, set it back where the fans liked it to be, and are getting it rolling again. So yes, it is going to be derivative of itself to reassure the fans.

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Tent Sale at the Outrage Outlet! Sizzling Summer Savings on Slurs, Slams, and Slanders at June 29, 2016 11:20 AM (hLRSq)

120 Rey: Too good at everything. Poe: Ridiculously good pilot. I mean absurd. Fin: Huh, I suddenly have a moral center and am normal like everyone else. Posted by: WOPR - Nationalist at June 29, 2016 04:12 PM (f4FTW) I'm talking about their personalities and chemistry in working together.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at June 29, 2016 11:20 AM (KUaJL)

121 98 I just wish Abrams had changed two things in Ep 7. Hear me out. 1) Make Jakku not a desert planet. Make it any other planet. Make it a junkyard world or something. The visual similarity between a desert planet opening and Tattooine is just way too much. 2) Get rid of the death star rip off. That part wasn't necessary to the plot at all. The movie climax happened because Rey was captured and the evil Imperial fleet knew where the Resistance headquarters was. Just make it a regular old invasion/star fight. I'm withholding my judgement about Rey being a Mary Sue until we see Ep 8. It's hinted that she's probably actually had Jedi training, just doesn't remember it. I'm waiting for her backstory before declaring her unrealistically competent in everything. Posted by: joe, living dangerously at June 29, 2016 04:17 PM (KUaJL) ===================== To add onto that: There are 2 plots in The Force Awakens. Find Luke Skywalker and Destroy Starkiller Base. The second plot isn't mentioned until almost 3/4 of the way through the film, and it's rushed as though it had been grafted on. It doesn't really fit. The first plot is actually quite good and I kind of love it.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:21 AM (8o3AL)

122 And for those who complain about TFA being a rehash of SW, I suggest reading this piece about Star Wars and ring theory. He predicted that TFA would be, more or less, a rehash of it.

http://goo.gl/gzfVBi

You don't have to agree with any of it, but I found it quite interesting.

Posted by: physics geek at June 29, 2016 11:21 AM (MT22W)

123 Dracula: Dead and Loving It!

Brooks needs to stay "retired".

Posted by: Chupacabra at June 29, 2016 11:21 AM (V40IZ)

124 #115, Spoiler for you - it sank.

Posted by: Anon a mouse... at June 29, 2016 11:21 AM (C9pBZ)

125 104 Mel Brooks movies in order greatest to shat: Blazing Saddles Young Frankenstein High Anxiety The Producers Silent Movie History of the World Pt 1 Robin Hood & Spaceballs Everything else Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at June 29, 2016 04:18 PM (5a+0E) ====================== I don't think you've seen The Twelve Chairs. See The Twelve Chairs.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:21 AM (8o3AL)

126 But, that actually fits with the Skywalker force gift. Just like her Grandfather, building podracers as a 9 yo kid. Posted by: Jean at June 29, 2016 04:17 PM (Doh4+) No, it doesn't. Both Luke and Anakin had flown and raced before. Anakin though had actually crashed his pod racer. And Luke needed help from his wingman in the Death Star battle. Rey meanwhile flies like an expert right out of the gate even lining up a rear shot for the disable cannon.

Posted by: WOPR - Nationalist at June 29, 2016 11:22 AM (f4FTW)

127 The first plot is actually quite good and I kind of love it. Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 04:21 PM (8o3AL) That's basically what I was getting at.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at June 29, 2016 11:22 AM (KUaJL)

128 I'm withholding my judgement about Rey being a Mary Sue until we see Ep 8. It's hinted that she's probably actually had Jedi training, just doesn't remember it. I'm waiting for her backstory before declaring her unrealistically competent in everything.

I didn't like her omnicompetence, but, as I observed above, the fact that she is actually shown as frightened while in circumstances that she logically would be frightened in, instead of being just another fearless warrior chick, did a lot to reconcile me to the character.

Posted by: Grey Fox at June 29, 2016 11:22 AM (bZ7mE)

129 They Were All Dirty Commies That is t the title of my never to be published yet to be written book. I looked up the cast of an old movie and saw the name Herta Ware. Never heard of her. But I have heard the name Ware. I clicked on her name and sa that she had been married to Will Greer, that old homo and communist. I also read that her g-mother was the infamous Ella Bloor, one of the first American Commie Party members. Her even more infamous uncle was Harold Ware. Harold was a gov worker and of course head of a communist espionage cell. For people who were so persecuted, they sure had no problems achieving job and financial success.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at June 29, 2016 11:22 AM (iQIUe)

130 114 You, sir, have gone too far!:-) Posted by: Agent Cooper at June 29, 2016 04:20 PM (af1YM) ================= Let's have a fist fight. It's the only way to settle this.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:22 AM (8o3AL)

131 Agree with you, TheJamesMadison, there shouldn't have been that "B" story, it should have been all about finding Luke.

Posted by: Chupacabra at June 29, 2016 11:22 AM (V40IZ)

132 I think the last star wars I was forced to watch was the one where the bad guys were rolling around like bowling balls or something.

Posted by: Roland [OMITTED] at June 29, 2016 11:23 AM (QM5S2)

133 "Look at the crap like Disaster Movie, Epic Movie, or Meet the Spartans. Those hacks wanted to make parodies, and made "movies" that don't understand what they're parodying." I thought Not Another Teen Movie was actually well done and funny. Plus, it had the mean guard from The Longest Yard (Ed Lauter) as the football coach.

Posted by: Benji Carver at June 29, 2016 11:23 AM (OD2ni)

134 "Ring theory"? What, there are hobbits in the upcoming star wars flick?

Posted by: Anon a mouse... at June 29, 2016 11:23 AM (C9pBZ)

135 127 The first plot is actually quite good and I kind of love it. Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 04:21 PM (8o3AL) That's basically what I was getting at. Posted by: joe, living dangerously at June 29, 2016 04:22 PM (KUaJL) ===================== Them's fightin' words.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:23 AM (8o3AL)

136 Brooks didn't understand Star Wars. He must think he does. He announced earlier this year he's making a Spaceballs sequel. Posted by: JackStraw at June 29, 2016 04:16 PM (/tuJf) Spaceballs II: The Search for More Money

Posted by: TheQuietMan at June 29, 2016 11:23 AM (493sH)

137 Force Awakens is on par with Return of the Jedi, which makes it better than any of the prequels. Still should have gone with the "Jar Jar was secretly a Sith" conspiracy.

Posted by: wooga at June 29, 2016 11:23 AM (DPbdz)

138 Brooks needs to stay "retired". Posted by: Chupacabra at June 29, 2016 04:21 PM (V40IZ) Dead and Loving it had ONE good line: "I need you." *seductively* "But, But, I'm British!" "So are these!" *cups breasts*

Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 11:23 AM (3ZoRf)

139 Says the guy who made (and will make 3 more of) "Dances with Wolves" in space.

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at June 29, 2016 11:24 AM (OR5cC)

140 131 Agree with you, TheJamesMadison, there shouldn't have been that "B" story, it should have been all about finding Luke. Posted by: Chupacabra at June 29, 2016 04:22 PM (V40IZ) ==================== It would have been a much smaller and focused story. There's nothing wrong with that.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:24 AM (8o3AL)

141 Was it enjoyable or not? Most people I know enjoyed the Force Awakens. Sometimes you just have to make movies the audience wants. And let's face it - today's audience likes what it saw when it was a kid. Why else would we remake everything from the 80's.

Posted by: SH at June 29, 2016 11:24 AM (gmeXX)

142 Barry - I want to make sure that America has the same opportunities that I had. Affirmative action for everyone!!! Except whitey

Posted by: TheQuietMan at June 29, 2016 11:24 AM (493sH)

143 For people who were so persecuted, they sure had no problems achieving job and financial success. Handlers with care

Posted by: derit at June 29, 2016 11:24 AM (ewfUZ)

144 130, Incorrect. Nuke it from space. It's the only way.

Posted by: Anon a mouse... at June 29, 2016 11:25 AM (C9pBZ)

145 Movie threads can get more contentious than a Trump thread or crossbow vs long bow.

Posted by: steevy at June 29, 2016 11:25 AM (B48dK)

146 You see there are Hobbits in the Star Wars series because Hobbits are a big draw and you need these days to have all your cards on the table.

Posted by: Skip at June 29, 2016 11:25 AM (mP1y7)

147 Still should have gone with the "Jar Jar was secretly a Sith" conspiracy. Posted by: wooga at June 29, 2016 04:23 PM (DPbdz) Never try to polish a turd.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at June 29, 2016 11:25 AM (KUaJL)

148 145 Movie threads can get more contentious than a Trump thread or crossbow vs long bow. Posted by: steevy at June 29, 2016 04:25 PM (B48dK) ==================== I'll fight you for saying that.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:25 AM (8o3AL)

149 It was HILARIOUS. I couldn't help myself. I bit my lip as hard as I could, but I just couldn't hold the laughter in. What looks I got! The friends I was with were so mad at me. I tried to apologize but I was laughing and tearing up too hard. People have no sense of humor, sheesh! Ooops, I didn't mean to spoil the end. The ship sinks! Posted by: Agent Cooper at June 29, 2016 04:15 PM (af1YM) STORY TIME! So. The Good Ex Boyfriend and I went to see Like Water For Chocolate at an art house theater. If you haven't seen it, it's a good movie but it is nearly on par with Babette's Feast for making you need to either have had a fantastic dinner before seeing it or to have reservations at a very good restaurant for right after you see it. Such. Food. Porn. But I digress. The plot centers around the long separated lovers and blah blah blah 30 years go by and they can finally be together and they have the sex and, me being me, I lean over to the Good Ex and whisper "If it were me, I'd have him have a heart attack and die right now." At which point, lo and behold, what happens on screen? The guy has a heart attack and dies. Good Ex starts poking me and whisper yelling YOU DID THAT YOU MADE THAT HAPPEN. I've got both hands over my mouth trying to contain the hysterical laughter. We're getting the dirtiest looks you can imagine by all the people weeping and deeply touched by the tragic ending. The more dirty looks, the harder I laugh. He was convinced that I made that happen and that's not how the movie really ends. Good times, good times.

Posted by: alexthechick - I despair I despair at June 29, 2016 11:25 AM (mf5HN)

150 No, it doesn't. Both Luke and Anakin had flown and raced before. Anakin though had actually crashed his pod racer. And Luke needed help from his wingman in the Death Star battle. Rey meanwhile flies like an expert right out of the gate even lining up a rear shot for the disable cannon ---- New Thread Please

Posted by: Bigbys Cellphone at June 29, 2016 11:26 AM (TaJ8L)

151 >>Spaceballs II: The Search for More Money I'd say he understands the Star Wars franchise perfectly.

Posted by: JackStraw at June 29, 2016 11:26 AM (/tuJf)

152 I've only seen the good parts of Titanic. Kate's chest parts.

Posted by: Testicus at June 29, 2016 11:26 AM (XVTvT)

153 Still should have gone with the "Jar Jar was secretly a Sith" conspiracy. Posted by: wooga at June 29, 2016 04:23 PM (DPbdz) Meesa power behind throne!

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Tent Sale at the Outrage Outlet! Sizzling Summer Savings on Slurs, Slams, and Slanders at June 29, 2016 11:26 AM (hLRSq)

154 I'm afraid I'm reaching old age. The Czar of Muscovy has stated we should adopt the following response to gungrabbers when they tell us what they think: "I don't give a f*ck what you think." I am finding myself reaching for that answer for many things now, especially when it's some over-stuffed jackass Whorey-wood twat. "James, I don't give a f*ck what you think about Star Wars. Or anything else for that matter."

Posted by: chiefjaybob, who hates everyone at June 29, 2016 11:26 AM (ND7OQ)

155 Movie that was hilarious and enjoyable Spy, starring Melissa McCarthy Seriously

Posted by: ThunderB at June 29, 2016 11:26 AM (zOTsN)

156 Rey meanwhile flies like an expert right out of the gate even lining up a rear shot for the disable cannon --------- Still - she's good looking. Nothing wrong with that.

Posted by: SH at June 29, 2016 11:26 AM (gmeXX)

157 149 So. The Good Ex Boyfriend and I went to see Like Water For Chocolate at an art house theater. If you haven't seen it, it's a good movie but it is nearly on par with Babette's Feast for making you need to either have had a fantastic dinner before seeing it or to have reservations at a very good restaurant for right after you see it. Such. Food. Porn. Posted by: alexthechick - I despair I despair at June 29, 2016 04:25 PM (mf5HN) I have seen both. Congratulate me.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:27 AM (8o3AL)

158 Good times, good times. Posted by: alexthechick - I despair I despair at June 29, 2016 04:25 PM (mf5HN) Can you watch The Dark Night Returns with me and say that it's going to end without the scene where it shows Bruce Wayne living?

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at June 29, 2016 11:27 AM (KUaJL)

159 Spoiler alert: Jar Jar is exposed as an orc in the third flick...

Posted by: Anon a mouse... at June 29, 2016 11:28 AM (C9pBZ)

160 Seen it six times before? That describes everything from Hollywood. . It is a Sequel Franchise Continuing Saga Reboot Reimagining Ripoff by a talentless hack financed by a clueless corporate drone!

Posted by: rd at June 29, 2016 11:28 AM (v0YLX)

161 Like Water For Chocolate

Better known as Doctor Octopus Has Sex With Chocolate

Okay, fine: it's only one scene in the movie.

Posted by: physics geek at June 29, 2016 11:28 AM (MT22W)

162 158 Good times, good times. Posted by: alexthechick - I despair I despair at June 29, 2016 04:25 PM (mf5HN) Can you watch The Dark Night Returns with me and say that it's going to end without the scene where it shows Bruce Wayne living? Posted by: joe, living dangerously at June 29, 2016 04:27 PM (KUaJL) ====================== The Dark Knight Rises. The Dark Knight Returns is very different and involves Superman. They made an animated version of it a few years ago. It's supposed to be good.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:28 AM (8o3AL)

163 James 'Avatar' Cameron? That rancid dick-smear of a movie? That guy?

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at June 29, 2016 11:28 AM (Mt8T4)

164 The Czar of Muscovy?? Who dat.

Posted by: Bigbys Cellphone at June 29, 2016 11:28 AM (TaJ8L)

165 Episode 8 will be Attack of the Homos.

Posted by: steevy at June 29, 2016 11:29 AM (B48dK)

166 Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 04:28 PM (8o3AL) Crap. Sorry. I'll hand over my nerd card at the end of the thread.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at June 29, 2016 11:29 AM (KUaJL)

167 Another gripe is that there did not seem to really be much of a sense of menace to the movie. Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 04:14 PM (3ZoRf) That was the Mary Sue-ing aspect that killed the menace- cuz no matter what happened....she was the perfect solution without effort. Also, the de-masking Darth Emo early on was a mistake- he looks vaguely pajama-boyish and throws tantrums. Not. Menacing. That said, I thought Darth Emo's first appearance was handled perfectly- when he waltzes out of his ship and without muss or fuss stops a ray cannon blast with the Force- I smiled like a three year old...and thought this will be great. Sadly, nope. Not awful but not particularly good.

Posted by: naturalfake at June 29, 2016 11:29 AM (0cMkb)

168 161 Like Water For Chocolate Better known as Doctor Octopus Has Sex With Chocolate Okay, fine: it's only one scene in the movie. Posted by: physics geek at June 29, 2016 04:28 PM (MT22W) Wait, it's hentai? We need Anna Puma to make a ruling.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 11:30 AM (3ZoRf)

169 The Dark Knight Returns is very different and involves Superman. They made an animated version of it a few years ago. It's supposed to be good. Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 04:28 PM (8o3AL) Best of all: Batman beats Superman's ass.

Posted by: Insomniac at June 29, 2016 11:30 AM (0mRoj)

170 If I see Boba Fett or any of his clones/descendants in future Star Wars I will shit. It would be like trying to shove Toht into every fucking Indiana Jones movie.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at June 29, 2016 11:30 AM (5a+0E)

171 So... tentacle food pron?

Posted by: Anon a mouse... at June 29, 2016 11:30 AM (C9pBZ)

172 166 Crap. Sorry. I'll hand over my nerd card at the end of the thread. Posted by: joe, living dangerously at June 29, 2016 04:29 PM (KUaJL) =================== It was a brain fart. Keep it. To your point though, I will, to the end of my days, insist that Alfred seeing Bruce in Florence is a fantasy on his part. Batman and Bruce Wayne died at the end of The Dark Knight Rises.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:31 AM (8o3AL)

173 Not awful but not particularly good. -------------- Honestly that is how I rate most movies these days. They all seem to be just ok.

Posted by: SH at June 29, 2016 11:31 AM (gmeXX)

174 169 Best of all: Batman beats Superman's ass. Posted by: Insomniac at June 29, 2016 04:30 PM (0mRoj) ================== With SCIENCE! All hail science.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:31 AM (8o3AL)

175 If filmmakers want to do something great, there are so many incredible war books that need a movie. Last Stand of Fox Company. With the Old Breed. Matterhorn (which, if you're familiar with Marlantes' service, probably shouldn't have been called a "novel" simply because he changed some names). Fields of Fire (last good thing Jim Webb did). Brute. Shit, go back to Thermopylae and do it right with Pressfield's Gates of Fire.

So much good material. So little effort to do anything other than rehash bullshit.


I think that a TV series set in South Carolina in 1780-81 has lot of potential - a lot of little-known but dramatic battles fought mostly by small guerrilla groups, families divided, individuals forced to choose allegiances and courses of action under times of great stress, religious ferment in the aftermath of the Great Awakening, love, friendship, and hatred growing amid strife, etc., all as part of a critical piece of the American Revolution.

Posted by: Grey Fox at June 29, 2016 11:32 AM (bZ7mE)

176 Speaking of Lucas, he was all set to open a Lucasfilm Museum in Chicago, but the city fathers wanted too big of an extortion honorarium to build it, so he's back to looking for sites in No. Cali.

Posted by: josephistan at June 29, 2016 11:32 AM (7HtZB)

177 Not awful but not particularly good. Posted by: naturalfake at June 29, 2016 04:29 PM (0cMkb) Yeah, he was a horrific miscast. Too whiny. No menace to him without the helmet on (he looks like a barrista at Starbucks.) Can we not find a dude who does not look like he should still be in high school to be the bad guy?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 11:32 AM (3ZoRf)

178 Posted by: naturalfake at June 29, 2016 04:29 PM (0cMkb) See, I really disagree. The entire point was to show that he wasn't Darth Vader, no matter how much he thought he was or pretended he was. Breaking him down throughout the entire movie was the best part of it. He has this vision of the person he's trying to be. He wants to follow in Vader's footsteps. He even dresses the same way. But you see that he's not there. He's really just a scared kid trying to appease his master. You can't out-Vader Vader. His arc is going the entire opposite direction.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at June 29, 2016 11:32 AM (KUaJL)

179 I do hope the Bill and Ted sequel gets made.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at June 29, 2016 11:32 AM (5a+0E)

180 Have you seen the trailer for the Ben-Hur remake?Looks like load of CGI crap.

Posted by: steevy at June 29, 2016 11:32 AM (B48dK)

181 And Disney's keeps making princess movies, which was understandable by second time - Cinderella - because Walt needed the money. But since the Nineties, they've been increasingly PC.

Posted by: Captain Obvious at June 29, 2016 11:33 AM (2RBkF)

182 @107: "Says the asshole who stole all the good parts of "Totanic" from the much netter "A Night To Remember", shot for shot."

And who re-imagined legitimate heroes (Col. Gracie) and/guys who met their fate like men (Guggenheim, Astor) as buffoons.

Posted by: FaCubeItches at June 29, 2016 11:33 AM (rznWS)

183 175 I think that a TV series set in South Carolina in 1780-81 has lot of potential - a lot of little-known but dramatic battles fought mostly by small guerrilla groups, families divided, individuals forced to choose allegiances and courses of action under times of great stress, religious ferment in the aftermath of the Great Awakening, love, friendship, and hatred growing amid strife, etc., all as part of a critical piece of the American Revolution. Posted by: Grey Fox at June 29, 2016 04:32 PM (bZ7mE) ===================== Have you checked out the AMC series Turn? It's not great, but it's definitely good. Set during the American Revolution in New York and centered around the Culper Spy Ring.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:33 AM (8o3AL)

184 Most movies are somewhere between bad and ok. We seem to focus on the good ones exclusively when reminiscing. What was the 75th grossing flick in 76? Who remembers?

Posted by: Anon a mouse... at June 29, 2016 11:33 AM (C9pBZ)

185 Trivia, Rick Rossovitch, Sarah's roommate's boyfriend who got in the dirty phone call and lasted ten seconds fighting Ahnuld, also flew backseat for Val Kilmer in Top Gun and was the SEAL platoon medic for Biehn and Sheen (and Bill Paxton!) in Navy SEALs. Unappreciated bit player. Posted by: Colonel Kurtz at June 29, 2016 04:18 PM (5exbe) Speaking of Terminator trivia and Bill Paxton, don't forget he's the first person killed by any Terminator. The best special effect in any of the Terminator movies was Linda Hamilton's biceps in T2. Which I unabashedly love like cake even though it is approximately 47 hours too long since Cameron forgot how to edit between Terminator and T2. Speaking of stripped down (hehehehe) movies, the first Halloween is also a fine example of that. Everything serves to move the movie forward and even the supposed throw away bits have purpose.

Posted by: alexthechick - I despair I despair at June 29, 2016 11:33 AM (mf5HN)

186 What Lucas did with Jar Jar was too good. He fooled the audience so well he couldn't recover.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yy3q9f84EA

Haha its awesome to watch it this way.

Posted by: dave dave dave at June 29, 2016 11:33 AM (0+srV)

187 He ought to put the museum in Vancouver.

Posted by: Bigbys Cellphone at June 29, 2016 11:34 AM (TaJ8L)

188 He's butthurt it destroyed Avatar in  the US

Posted by: Deno at June 29, 2016 11:34 AM (V/hz5)

189 Pressfield's Gates of Fire. That was an outstanding book. And yes, it would make an excellent movie.

Posted by: Pug Mahon at June 29, 2016 11:34 AM (RwwCT)

190 177 Yeah, he was a horrific miscast. Too whiny. No menace to him without the helmet on (he looks like a barrista at Starbucks.) Can we not find a dude who does not look like he should still be in high school to be the bad guy? Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 04:32 PM (3ZoRf) ====================== That's what's fun about him. He needs the mask as much as Darth Vader, not because he can't breathe without it, but because he can't intimidate without it. It's an interesting juxtaposition that lends a level of dept to Kylo Ren's character.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:34 AM (8o3AL)

191 depth*

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:34 AM (8o3AL)

192 Rey meanwhile flies like an expert right out of the gate even lining up a rear shot for the disable cannon --------- And, despite having never picked up a lightsaber in her life, managed to best Darth Emo.

Posted by: josephistan at June 29, 2016 11:35 AM (7HtZB)

193 Mr_UNIVAC

I don't think you know what shot for shot means.

Posted by: Deno at June 29, 2016 11:35 AM (V/hz5)

194 Posted by: Bigbys Cellphone at June 29, 2016 04:28 PM (TaJ8L) Some on-line hack blogger.....

Posted by: chiefjaybob, who hates everyone at June 29, 2016 11:35 AM (ND7OQ)

195 175  . . . I think that a TV series set in South Carolina in 1780-81 has lot of potential - a lot of little-known but dramatic battles fought mostly by small guerrilla groups, families divided, individuals forced to choose allegiances and courses of action under times of great stress, religious ferment in the aftermath of the Great Awakening, love, friendship, and hatred growing amid strife, etc., all as part of a critical piece of the American Revolution.
*
*
Didn't Disney do that long ago with The Swamp Fox, based on the career of Francis Marion?  Leslie Nielsen played Marion, I think.

I agree: time for a new series on cable.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at June 29, 2016 11:35 AM (txdEq)

196 That's what's fun about him. He needs the mask as much as Darth Vader, not because he can't breathe without it, but because he can't intimidate without it. It's an interesting juxtaposition that lends a level of dept to Kylo Ren's character. ------------ You sir are very thought provoking.

Posted by: SH at June 29, 2016 11:36 AM (gmeXX)

197 Ugh. More Star Wars fanboi stuff. James Cameron is a Obama-loving, humanity-hating far left hypocritical limousine liberal asswipe supreme. Who gives a shyte what the hell he says? Ace, I truly am curious: Do you post about Star Wars because you actually authentically love and care about the Star Wars universe? Or simply because you know you're "expected" to care about Star Wars because you're a white male between 35 and 60 and you're therefore in the "Star Wars demographic," in the same way that a young black guy is "expected" to like rap, when it fact he may secretly prefer Mozart? Or because you think that your readers are all in the Star Wars demographic, and you're trying to please them? Or...some other reason? I actually am curious to know.

Posted by: zombie at June 29, 2016 11:36 AM (jBuUi)

198 196 You sir are very thought provoking. Posted by: SH at June 29, 2016 04:36 PM (gmeXX) ====================== I'm a writer. I think about all of this stupid artsy fartsy stuff all the time.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:36 AM (8o3AL)

199 > 42 The original Star Wars was good. Mostly because it was new. The sequel was OK. The rest are garbage. Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at June 29, 2016 04:03 PM (mpXpK) Confession: I've never sat through a complete Star Wars movie of any kind. Never. What a waste of time. I'd rather read a good book.

Posted by: just wait, you won't believe what happens next at June 29, 2016 11:36 AM (IQI2h)

200 Having the same Death Star plot a 3rd time really pushed credulity, even with the lowered standards of Star Wars movies.

Posted by: Iblis at June 29, 2016 11:37 AM (9221z)

201 Yeah, he was a horrific miscast. Too whiny. No menace to him without the helmet on (he looks like a barrista at Starbucks.) Can we not find a dude who does not look like he should still be in high school to be the bad guy? Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 04:32 PM (3ZoRf) You do know that Adam Driver was a Marine, right?

Posted by: alexthechick - I despair I despair at June 29, 2016 11:37 AM (mf5HN)

202 197 Ace, I truly am curious: Do you post about Star Wars because you actually authentically love and care about the Star Wars universe? Or simply because you know you're "expected" to care about Star Wars because you're a white male between 35 and 60 and you're therefore in the "Star Wars demographic," in the same way that a young black guy is "expected" to like rap, when it fact he may secretly prefer Mozart? Or because you think that your readers are all in the Star Wars demographic, and you're trying to please them? Or...some other reason? I actually am curious to know. Posted by: zombie at June 29, 2016 04:36 PM (jBuUi) ===================== My guess? He needed content and this was easy. I don't mind. I like bringing my geekiness here. It's more fun than politics, and we need some occasional fun around here.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:37 AM (8o3AL)

203 Speaking of Terminator trivia and Bill Paxton, don't forget he's the first person killed by any Terminator. ------------------------------- Lance Henriksen - only actor to be killed by an Alien, Terminator & Predator.

Posted by: josephistan at June 29, 2016 11:37 AM (7HtZB)

204 Dammit. That was the point -- to reboot Star Wars in order to undo the damage Lucas did to it.

Posted by: McCann at June 29, 2016 11:37 AM (q71iW)

205 And here, just scroll down and check out Padme's hand.

http://goo.gl/MXQayO

superfecundation

Posted by: dave dave dave at June 29, 2016 11:37 AM (0+srV)

206 Really? The prequels had innovative visual imagination? I guess "look here is some shit, and I put it on film!" could be called imagination.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 04:09 PM (3ZoRf)

Yes, *imagine* a robot army based on animal designs.

Droideka == Scorpion
Droid Lander == Dragon fly
Armored Assault Tank == Puma
Multi Troop Tansport == Elephant
S.T.A.P. == Hummingbird

Those are fantastic, original designs.

Posted by: Serious Cat at June 29, 2016 11:38 AM (Uy6ri)

207 42 The original Star Wars was good. Mostly because it was new. Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at June 29, 2016 04:03 PM (mpXpK) ====================== False. Star Wars was a retread in its day.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:38 AM (8o3AL)

208 Showgirls.

We need a Showgirls sequel.

Better yet, two of them, jiggling across the screen.

Posted by: Testicus at June 29, 2016 11:38 AM (XVTvT)

209 I'm pretty certain the last movie I saw in a theatre was 'Castaway'.

Posted by: Weasel at June 29, 2016 11:38 AM (Sfs6o)

210 Speaking of Terminator trivia and Bill Paxton, don't forget he's the first person killed by any Terminator.>>>

Nice night for a walk heh?

Posted by: Blue Haired Punk at June 29, 2016 11:38 AM (tf9Ne)

211 201 You do know that Adam Driver was a Marine, right? Posted by: alexthechick - I despair I despair at June 29, 2016 04:37 PM (mf5HN) ========================= I had forgotten that. It's true. The man joined up after 9/11 and could probably break most of us.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:39 AM (8o3AL)

212 That's what's fun about him. He needs the mask as much as Darth Vader, not because he can't breathe without it, but because he can't intimidate without it. It's an interesting juxtaposition that lends a level of dept to Kylo Ren's character. Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 04:34 PM (8o3AL) It 'might" be an interesting bit of characterization- and I am not conceding that- but as a matter of narrative, it hamstrings the movie. This was kind of the movie where they needed to establish him as a credible villain. They instead made him way too flawed way too easily and early.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 11:39 AM (3ZoRf)

213 I'm pretty certain the last movie I saw in a theatre was 'Castaway'. -------------- I have a simple metric in judging movies. Do I rewatch them. Based on that, Castaway is a great movie.

Posted by: SH at June 29, 2016 11:39 AM (gmeXX)

214 [Fruity hand gesture] These are not the movies we are looking for.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Racist for Dinosaurs at June 29, 2016 11:39 AM (Nwg0u)

215 Lance Henriksen - only actor to be killed by an Alien, Terminator & Predator. Posted by: josephistan at June 29, 2016 04:37 PM (7HtZB) I always forget that. I wish the Predator remake had been better because it was an interesting concept and at least some kind of attempt to put a new spin on a reboot.

Posted by: alexthechick - I despair I despair at June 29, 2016 11:39 AM (mf5HN)

216 201 Yeah, he was a horrific miscast. Too whiny. No menace to him without the helmet on (he looks like a barrista at Starbucks.) Can we not find a dude who does not look like he should still be in high school to be the bad guy? Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 04:32 PM (3ZoRf) You do know that Adam Driver was a Marine, right? Posted by: alexthechick - I despair I despair at June 29, 2016 04:37 PM (mf5HN) Yes, but it doesn't automatically give him menacing screen presence.

Posted by: Insomniac at June 29, 2016 11:40 AM (0mRoj)

217 212 It 'might" be an interesting bit of characterization- and I am not conceding that- but as a matter of narrative, it hamstrings the movie. This was kind of the movie where they needed to establish him as a credible villain. They instead made him way too flawed way too easily and early. Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 04:39 PM (3ZoRf) ====================== I'm curious as to what you mean by "flawed". Could you please explain a little? Not trolling, I'm just not sure how to respond to the rest of your comment without understanding what you meant there.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:40 AM (8o3AL)

218 @110: "And just because he wants to make a Star Wars parody doesn't mean that he actually understands Star Wars."

Spaceballs is different than Blazing Saddles in that it has much, much less source material to draw from.  Blazing Saddles takes some scenes from individual movies, but largely parodies athe entire Western genre.  Spacecballs, which parodies Space Opera, doesn't have as rich a background.  It's got the Star Wars movies, and that's pretty much it; stuff like the original Battlestar Galactica, or Battle Beyond the Stars don't make for great parody fuel, because they aren't universally known; the only other "universal" property is Star Trek.

Brooks had to pull in jokes from things like Alien and Planet of the Apes, which basically have sweet fuck all to do with the Space Opera genre.

Posted by: FaCubeItches at June 29, 2016 11:40 AM (rznWS)

219 Posted by: zombie at June 29, 2016 04:36 PM (jBuUi) I don't think anyone actually loves what Star Wars is. But lots of people love the idea of Star Wars. I bet that Ace really wanted to like the new Star Wars, and was very disappointed that it didn't live up to his expectations.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at June 29, 2016 11:41 AM (KUaJL)

220 Best remake ever was Judge Dredd because it had to be.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at June 29, 2016 11:41 AM (34alA)

221 213 I actually enjoyed it - just don't get out much.

Posted by: Weasel at June 29, 2016 11:41 AM (Sfs6o)

222 Well, Zombie, Ace is an Ewok so there is a good reason for him to be interested in Star Wars.

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Tent Sale at the Outrage Outlet! Sizzling Summer Savings on Slurs, Slams, and Slanders at June 29, 2016 11:42 AM (hLRSq)

223 Yay almost time to clock out What is you all doing for the long weekend? We are probably going to Oswego for no very good reason. It will be boring and we have convinced another couple to join us in our boredom. It will ruin a new friendship and that is OK because dismal is funny

Posted by: Bigbys Cellphone at June 29, 2016 11:42 AM (TaJ8L)

224 You do know that Adam Driver was a Marine, right? Posted by: alexthechick - I despair I despair at June 29, 2016 04:37 PM (mf5HN) I did not. And while I thank him for his service, my point is how the character is portrayed in the movie.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 11:42 AM (3ZoRf)

225 218 Spaceballs is different than Blazing Saddles in that it has much, much less source material to draw from. Blazing Saddles takes some scenes from individual movies, but largely parodies athe entire Western genre. Spacecballs, which parodies Space Opera, doesn't have as rich a background. It's got the Star Wars movies, and that's pretty much it; stuff like the original Battlestar Galactica, or Battle Beyond the Stars don't make for great parody fuel, because they aren't universally known; the only other "universal" property is Star Trek. Brooks had to pull in jokes from things like Alien and Planet of the Apes, which basically have sweet fuck all to do with the Space Opera genre. Posted by: FaCubeItches at June 29, 2016 04:40 PM (rznWS) ======================= That's so not true. Flash Gordon serials from decades before were a main influence. Why not parody some of that. Kurosawa was a huge influence. I can think of a few funny bits of visual comedy right away that would fit. Instead we get large combs in the sand. The only bit of parody that actually works is the marketing part.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:42 AM (8o3AL)

226 Don't wast your time with the new Independence Day flick. As a spectacle it's awright, but as a movie it's bunk.

Posted by: Brother Cavil at June 29, 2016 11:42 AM (9krrF)

227 Avatar was a giant semi-sunken turd swirling in a bowl of backed-up blue toilet water.

Posted by: Dang at June 29, 2016 11:43 AM (k0G44)

228 220 Best remake ever was Judge Dredd because it had to be. Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at June 29, 2016 04:41 PM (34alA) ========================= That's as much a remake as any version of Hamlet is a remake of an earlier version of Hamlet.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:43 AM (8o3AL)

229 Yeah its all just a rehash James! I mean unlike George's vision which was all original. He totally didn't follow the "Hero's Journey" monomyth formula and borrow heavily from Japanese films. Nope, totes original.

Posted by: buzzion at June 29, 2016 11:43 AM (z/Ubi)

230 Galaxy Quest was a great concept of a sort of parody.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at June 29, 2016 11:43 AM (34alA)

231 226 Don't wast your time with the new Independence Day flick. As a spectacle it's awright, but as a movie it's bunk. Posted by: Brother Cavil at June 29, 2016 04:42 PM (9krrF) ======================= I'm really looking forward to using a free Red Box code to rent it.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:44 AM (8o3AL)

232 Posted by: Bigbys Cellphone at June 29, 2016 04:42 PM (TaJ8L) Oswego is overrated. No reason to go there, ever since the drag strip closed down.

Posted by: chiefjaybob, who hates everyone at June 29, 2016 11:44 AM (ND7OQ)

233 Posted by: naturalfake at June 29, 2016 04:29 PM (0cMkb) See, I really disagree. The entire point was to show that he wasn't Darth Vader, no matter how much he thought he was or pretended he was. Breaking him down throughout the entire movie was the best part of it. He has this vision of the person he's trying to be. He wants to follow in Vader's footsteps. He even dresses the same way. But you see that he's not there. He's really just a scared kid trying to appease his master. You can't out-Vader Vader. His arc is going the entire opposite direction. Posted by: joe, living dangerously at June 29, 2016 04:32 PM (KUaJL) Well, that's the thing...total lack of menace. Now, in terms of character, I assume at some point we're going to have a YUUUGE flashback or serious info dump to give us enough backstory to explain what his deal is. Frankly, more or less I assumed seeing the heavy "fear" and "panic" aspect of his character- that he will gain "peace" and "calm" through his encounters with Rey or Luke and the light side of the Force- and become a major good guy by the end of the trilogy. Not just a quickie last second turn around like Vader. But, to give the story weight, Darth Emo has got to be menacing and threatening- the most evil thing he did was kill an unarmed old man. Major chickenshit move...but not menacing.

Posted by: naturalfake at June 29, 2016 11:44 AM (0cMkb)

234 200 Having the same Death Star plot a 3rd time really pushed credulity, even with the lowered standards of Star Wars movies.

Posted by: Iblis at June 29, 2016 04:37 PM (9221z)


The Death Star is the F-35 of the Star Wars universe.

Posted by: Warthog at June 29, 2016 11:45 AM (XVTvT)

235 220 Best remake ever was Judge Dredd because it had to be. Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at June 29, 2016 04:41 PM (34alA) Dredd was the remake, right? With Judge Dredd being the Stallone/Armand Assante(?) vehicle.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 11:45 AM (3ZoRf)

236 230 Galaxy Quest was a great concept of a sort of parody. Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at June 29, 2016 04:43 PM (34alA) ====================== Galaxy Quest works because it works dramatically. Remove the jokes and the movie still works. It should be the gold standard on how to make a parody.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:45 AM (8o3AL)

237 It was a brain fart. Keep it.

To your point though, I will, to the end of my days, insist that Alfred seeing Bruce in Florence is a fantasy on his part.

Batman and Bruce Wayne died at the end of The Dark Knight Rises.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 04:31 PM (8o3AL)


Nahh, there was s very specific reference at the end of the movie to Bruce Wayne making a software patch on the auto-pilot mode on the Batwing.

Posted by: Serious Cat at June 29, 2016 11:45 AM (Uy6ri)

238 I did not. And while I thank him for his service, my point is how the character is portrayed in the movie. Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 04:42 PM (3ZoRf) Actually the point to which I was responding is your commentary about how he looked like a barista who wasn't out of high school. That barista high school looking guy was a Marine.

Posted by: alexthechick - I despair I despair at June 29, 2016 11:45 AM (mf5HN)

239 237 Nahh, there was s very specific reference at the end of the movie to Bruce Wayne making a software patch on the auto-pilot mode on the Batwing. Posted by: Serious Cat at June 29, 2016 04:45 PM (Uy6ri) ====================== Quiet! I don't believe you! LALALALALALA!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:46 AM (8o3AL)

240 There's a few minor science fiction movies that were alright and almost original ish in recent years but mostly star was trek and the marvel movies occupied the space.

Posted by: Bigbys Cellphone at June 29, 2016 11:47 AM (TaJ8L)

241 I don't think anyone actually loves what Star Wars is. But lots of people love the idea of Star Wars. I bet that Ace really wanted to like the new Star Wars, and was very disappointed that it didn't live up to his expectations. Posted by: joe, living dangerously Hmmmm. But when it comes to Sci-Fi Universes, Star Wars (at least to me) is one of the LEAST interesting. It was a bad execution of a bad idea in the first place. Heck I've even seen about two and half of the movies, and I STILL don't understand the plot or who are supposed to be the good guys or the bad guys and what makes them good or bad. I'm totally cofused by the basic politics of the S.W. universe: There seem to be some rough-and-tumble raggedy good-guy "rebels," yet they seem (as far as I can tell) to be fighting to reinstate a monarchy??? WTF? And what were at first portrayed as the "outsiders" -- the Jedis -- turned out to be the ultimate insiders? And everybody is biologically related to each other? I can't decipher if it's populist, or elitist, or pro-totalitarian/centralization, or pro-local/democratic, or whatever. And I stopped caring halfway through the first film.

Posted by: zombie at June 29, 2016 11:47 AM (jBuUi)

242 Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 04:45 PM (3ZoRf) Yes I meant to say Dredd. The Stallone movie was the definition of a rotten tomato.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at June 29, 2016 11:47 AM (34alA)

243 Nahh, there was s very specific reference at the end of the movie to Bruce Wayne making a software patch on the auto-pilot mode on the Batwing. Posted by: Serious Cat at June 29, 2016 04:45 PM (Uy6ri) I accept that they made a way for it to happen that way. I don't accept that they *should* have make a way for it to happen that way. Bruce Wayne needed to die.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at June 29, 2016 11:47 AM (KUaJL)

244 I'll say if in Episode 8-9 they have Rey turn to the Dark side while Kylo Ren (Ben) turns to the Light, my interest in the story will be perked.

Posted by: Serious Cat at June 29, 2016 11:48 AM (Uy6ri)

245 Oswego is overrated. No reason to go there, ever since the drag strip closed down. ---- Wouldn't have been a draw for me anyhow.

Posted by: Bigbys Cellphone at June 29, 2016 11:48 AM (TaJ8L)

246 243 I accept that they made a way for it to happen that way. I don't accept that they *should* have make a way for it to happen that way. Bruce Wayne needed to die. Posted by: joe, living dangerously at June 29, 2016 04:47 PM (KUaJL) ======================= Which is why so many people got pissed at the reveal of Bruce in Florence. It didn't make dramatic sense.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:48 AM (8o3AL)

247 I used to use the nic Roc Ingersol.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at June 29, 2016 11:48 AM (34alA)

248 Galaxy Quest works because it works dramatically. Remove the jokes and the movie still works. It should be the gold standard on how to make a parody. Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 04:45 PM (8o3AL) Hot Fuzz is the same way. Hot Fuzz works on its own as a movie and also as a parody of the entire action genre. You know what Galaxy Quest and Hot Fuzz have in common? They were made by people who whole heartedly loved the genres being parodied. Best joke in Galaxy Quest is how Sigourney Weaver's uniform keeps getting ripped and that zipper keeps going lower and lower. Oh sheesh. IMDB tells me that there are re re booting Predator though Shane Black is making it and do not taunt Happy Fun Alex.

Posted by: alexthechick - I despair I despair at June 29, 2016 11:48 AM (mf5HN)

249 "I had forgotten that. It's true. The man joined up after 9/11 and could probably break most of us." Plus, he has had to make out with a naked Lena Dunham. Obviously has a strong stomach.

Posted by: Benji Carver at June 29, 2016 11:48 AM (OD2ni)

250 Didn't Disney do that long ago with The Swamp Fox, based on the career of Francis Marion? Leslie Nielsen played Marion, I think.

Yeah. My idea was to focus in on someone less well known, though - a fictional ex-Continental returned home rather frustrated and disillusioned with the stalemate then existing, married/engaged/courting a girl from a family with Tory-ish leanings (she herself I see as more interested in preserving her familial network than in politics, people over ideas). When the British invade, the delicate balance is overturned, our protagonist has to choose whether to sit it out (he doesn't) to return to the field as a partisan, fighting without much hope of success and against great odds (and the Patriots lost a LOT of the battles, particularly initially), while members of his own and his girl's family go towards the Tory side for various reasons (a number of people switched sides and fought for both sides at one point or another). The constant string of defeats throughout the summer of 1780, with just a few victories to keep things interesting, and then when all seems lost the stunning, almost deus ex machina of the victory at King's mountain that makes winning the war a possibility again, followed by Cowpens and Guildford Courthouse (a bloody, pyrrhic victory for the British).

Lots of drama potential there, but you would have to be willing to treat the Tories with some respect, not just cartoon bad guys, and you would have to eschew triumphalism to underline the point that the War for Independence was not a sure thing, even to the end, but once hinged on the actions of a few hundred men that refused to admit defeat even when all looked lost.


Posted by: Grey Fox at June 29, 2016 11:49 AM (bZ7mE)

251 The Dark Knight Returns is very different and involves Superman. They made an animated version of it a few years ago. It's supposed to be good. Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 04:28 PM (8o3AL) ---- Meh. They didn't do any of Batman's internal dialog so you miss half of the story.

Posted by: Darth Randall at June 29, 2016 11:49 AM (6n332)

252 Here's the thing.  Episodes 4 and 5 laid down an example of what "Star Wars" should be.  Episode 6 had its problems but it was still recognizably "Star Wars".

The prequels, they didn't feel like "Star Wars" anymore.  The sense of adventure fell flat.

Say whatever else you will about Episode 7, it felt like "Star Wars" and that above all else is why I liked it.  In fact, my ranking of Star Wars movies to date:

Episodes 4 and 5 (tie)
Episode 7
Episode 6
---- cutoff of suck ----
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 1

Was the plot of Episode 7 remarkably similar to the plot of earlier Star Wars movies?  They blew up another Death Star; you bet it was similar.

Oh, so horribly unimaginative.  You know George Lucas would never do that; after Episode 4 he didn't blow up another Death Star... oh wait, in Episode 6 he exactly blew up another Death Star; and Episode 1, he had young Anakin blow up a ship that was not a Death Star but blew up like one (and blowing it up ended the threat).

Anyway, Episode 7 was remarkably similar.  But here's what I think: it was considered crucially important, like 4 billion dollars important, that Episode 7 not fail.  They were not going to take any needless risks with Episode 7.  So they went with the tried-and-true, plus callbacks like having action on the Millennium Falcon.

Will Episode 8 just be a pastiche of things we have seen before?  My guess is no; they hit their home run, the new Star Wars movies are accepted as legit Star Wars movies by the fans, and now they can branch out.  _Rogue One_ won't be a pastiche of anything we have seen before, and we can hope that the "Young Han Solo" adventures might try some new stuff.

James Cameron deserves our thanks for making such an awesome movie in _Aliens_.  I even like _Avatar_ more than I dislike it.  But I don't care about his opinions on Star Wars movies.  They are irrelevant anyway... Episode 7 made over *two* billion dollars.  That four billion that Disney paid for Star Wars is half paid back already!

Posted by: mr_jack at June 29, 2016 11:49 AM (M59SC)

253 I'm one of the few I think who really enjoyed Predators.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at June 29, 2016 11:50 AM (34alA)

254 Hot Fuzz is the same way. Hot Fuzz works on its own as a movie and also as a parody of the entire action genre. You know what Galaxy Quest and Hot Fuzz have in common? They were made by people who whole heartedly loved the genres being parodied. ---------------------------------------- Same with "Scream." A great parody of slasher films & a great example of a slasher film.

Posted by: josephistan at June 29, 2016 11:50 AM (7HtZB)

255 It was a terrible movie that ruined the entire point of the original trilogy.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at June 29, 2016 11:50 AM (cPMmb)

256 248 Hot Fuzz is the same way. Hot Fuzz works on its own as a movie and also as a parody of the entire action genre. You know what Galaxy Quest and Hot Fuzz have in common? They were made by people who whole heartedly loved the genres being parodied. Best joke in Galaxy Quest is how Sigourney Weaver's uniform keeps getting ripped and that zipper keeps going lower and lower. Oh sheesh. IMDB tells me that there are re re booting Predator though Shane Black is making it and do not taunt Happy Fun Alex. Posted by: alexthechick - I despair I despair at June 29, 2016 04:48 PM (mf5HN) =================== I think the best joke is when they half heartedly had Weaver voice over her "Fck that!" with "Screw that!" And you're very right about Hot Fuzz as well. Looking at those two films, it's hard to think of placing Spaceballs in the same space. It just doesn't work nearly as well.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:50 AM (8o3AL)

257 But, to give the story weight, Darth Emo has got to be menacing and threatening- the most evil thing he did was kill an unarmed old man. Major chickenshit move...but not menacing. Posted by: naturalfake at June 29, 2016 04:44 PM (0cMkb) What was the most evil thing Vader did in the original? He pretty much kills just as many people as Kylo does.

Posted by: buzzion at June 29, 2016 11:50 AM (z/Ubi)

258 @178: "You can't out-Vader Vader."

The problem is that Vader wasn't really much of a badass - he fucked up everything he touched.  Couldn't recognize a droid he built.  Couldn't recover  a set of plans (hell, just blowing up Leia's ship would have solved the problem, since they knew the plans were on board).  Could't sense Kenobi. Couldn't protect the Death Star.  Let the Rebels Dunkirk out of Hoth.  Couldn't turn his son.  Couldn't capture his son.  Could't defeat his son.  Couldn't protect  a second Death Star.

The guy was really only a threat to underlings.  He may have looked imposing, but he was pretty much a less-competent Obama.

Posted by: FaCubeItches at June 29, 2016 11:51 AM (rznWS)

259 We're just going because we both have dogs that freak out when fireworks go off. Plus day trip.

Posted by: Bigbys Cellphone at June 29, 2016 11:51 AM (TaJ8L)

260 Galaxy Quest was awesome and I never wanted to bang Sigourney Weaver more than that movie. In fact, only that movie.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at June 29, 2016 11:51 AM (5a+0E)

261 It's really quite extrodinairy, Ambassador Stevens's family is not blaming Hillary or the Obama administration but congress for under funding embassy security. That is quite frankly the stupidest fucking shit I have ever heard. Theses people are monsters.

Posted by: Kreplach at June 29, 2016 11:51 AM (3Xxpy)

262 253 I'm one of the few I think who really enjoyed Predators. Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at June 29, 2016 04:50 PM (34alA) ====================== It's dumb, but focused and fairly fun. I own it and watch it every couple of years.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:52 AM (8o3AL)

263 Those Death Stars have to be expensive.

Posted by: Weasel at June 29, 2016 11:52 AM (Sfs6o)

264 Actually the point to which I was responding is your commentary about how he looked like a barista who wasn't out of high school. That barista high school looking guy was a Marine. Posted by: alexthechick - I despair I despair at June 29, 2016 04:45 PM (mf5HN) Again. I do not know Adam Driver from Adam. From what you say he is a solid guy. The man is not what I am quibbling with, but rather the way they chose to use him to portray the character. The man is not the point, but rather the look they gave to the man who is portraying one of the main leads, the villain.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 11:52 AM (3ZoRf)

265 @185: "Speaking of Terminator trivia and Bill Paxton, don't forget he's the first person killed by any Terminator."

Paxton's got the trifecta: he's been killed by a Terminator, an Alien, and a Predator.

Posted by: FaCubeItches at June 29, 2016 11:52 AM (rznWS)

266 260 Galaxy Quest was awesome and I never wanted to bang Sigourney Weaver more than that movie. In fact, only that movie. Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at June 29, 2016 04:51 PM (5a+0E) ====================== Um...did you miss the end of Alien?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 11:52 AM (8o3AL)

267 James Cameron: Star Wars: The Force Awakens Was Just the Same Crap We've Seen Six Times Before Funny, coming from a man who directed "Dances with Smurfs"...

Posted by: The Cinematic Hat at June 29, 2016 11:52 AM (vBeA5)

268 Posted by: zombie at June 29, 2016 04:47 PM (jBuUi) It's because Star Wars isn't Sci Fi. It's space fantasy. Science fiction is a way to discuss profound philosophical questions. Who are we? Where did we come from? What's it mean to actually be human, or alive? Star Wars doesn't try to do any of that. Instead, it follows the classical story structures. The Hero's Journey. Good vs Evil. Did you watch Lord of the Rings and wonder why Sauron was Evil? You don't have to, and you shouldn't need to to enjoy the story itself. The bad guys are bad. They're willing to kill an entire planet as a way to torture this girl they've got in custody. Did you care what was going to happen to all those Orcs once Sauron fell? What sort of government was going to come after? (I know that Tolkien himself actually started to wrestle with these kinds of questions). The point is that those aren't actually important details for what matters in the story that they're trying to tell.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at June 29, 2016 11:53 AM (KUaJL)

269 >>What was the most evil thing Vader did in the original? He pretty much kills just as many people as Kylo does. Posted by: buzzion at June 29, 2016 04:50 PM (z/Ubi)

He gave Leia a truth serum injection (zzzzzz...) when he could've hit her with a fine dose of top-drawer smack.

If you're holding, and you don't share, that's evil.

Posted by: John Kerry's Piercing Pretzel Logic at June 29, 2016 11:53 AM (Bdeb0)

270 "I thought Not Another Teen Movie was actually well done and funny. Plus, it had the mean guard from The Longest Yard (Ed Lauter) as the football coach.

Posted by: Benji Carver at June 29, 2016 04:23 PM (OD2ni) "

Indeed, and it wasn't done by the "Epic Movie" hacks, Seltzer and Friedberg. Hence why it was actually a competent parody.

Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at June 29, 2016 11:53 AM (kumBu)

271 I'm one of the few I think who really enjoyed Predators. Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at June 29, 2016 04:50 PM (34alA) I liked it and I think my criticism is more that it was right on the edge of being a really good movie but didn't quite get there. I wanted it to be better because I wanted more of that world. It is enjoyable.

Posted by: alexthechick - I despair I despair at June 29, 2016 11:53 AM (mf5HN)

272 I'm really looking forward to using a free Red Box code to rent it. Dude. I'm serious. Plot holes large enough to fly a city destroyer ship through, uneven characterization, odd choices for character focus...it felt like parts of the movie were missing, while other parts just didn't work. And don't even try to think about the basic science. It just gave me headaches. And I know, I know, don't say it, I can't NOT see this stuff, it just grates.

Posted by: Brother Cavil at June 29, 2016 11:53 AM (9krrF)

273 260 Galaxy Quest was awesome and I never wanted to bang Sigourney Weaver more than that movie. In fact, only that movie.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at June 29, 2016 04:51 PM (5a+0E)


Half Moon Street

Posted by: Testicus at June 29, 2016 11:54 AM (XVTvT)

274 I suspect the reason movies suck so bad is cowardice. Gotta remake remake Star Wars and Star Trek because they have a built in fan base and gotta make sure you insult all the right people and none of the wrong people. Luke warm weak tea.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Racist for Dinosaurs at June 29, 2016 11:55 AM (Nwg0u)

275 249 "I had forgotten that. It's true. The man joined up after 9/11 and could probably break most of us." Plus, he has had to make out with a naked Lena Dunham. Obviously has a strong stomach. Posted by: Benji Carver at June 29, 2016 04:48 PM (OD2ni) Holy shit! That's courage! :hands over Medal of Honor, Distinguished Service Cross, Silver Star,....:

Posted by: Audie Murphy at June 29, 2016 11:55 AM (7HtZB)

276 Again. I do not know Adam Driver from Adam. From what you say he is a solid guy. The man is not what I am quibbling with, but rather the way they chose to use him to portray the character. The man is not the point, but rather the look they gave to the man who is portraying one of the main leads, the villain. Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 04:52 PM (3ZoRf) Ahhh okay then I misunderstood and I apologize.

Posted by: alexthechick - I despair I despair at June 29, 2016 11:55 AM (mf5HN)

277 Eh, the reconstituted republic is still retarded. Beating the empire.and the military is scrounging spare parts? They have one known enemy and didn't notice on a main garrison planet that they had converted half the planet into a giant death star looking machine. And that had to be a main garrison because if the empire has so many big bases around staffed like that that the republic couldn't bother a sneak and peak to keep an eye on that giant death star looking thing then the only reason the empire was curb stomping every one was that they were shining their armor and screwing around. This also means the republics military , Leia for example, aren't worth shit if they didn't think to recon every rock w a storm troopers helmet left on it.

Posted by: allenlou at June 29, 2016 11:56 AM (wQ9BN)

278 The problem is that Vader wasn't really much of a badass - he fucked up everything he touched. Couldn't recognize a droid he built. Couldn't recover a set of plans (hell, just blowing up Leia's ship would have solved the problem, since they knew the plans were on board). Could't sense Kenobi. Couldn't protect the Death Star. Let the Rebels Dunkirk out of Hoth. Couldn't turn his son. Couldn't capture his son. Could't defeat his son. Couldn't protect a second Death Star. The guy was really only a threat to underlings. He may have looked imposing, but he was pretty much a less-competent Obama. --------- Some of you are blowing my mind today.

Posted by: SH at June 29, 2016 11:56 AM (gmeXX)

279 You just know that within 10 years Disney will just reboot the entire Star Wars franchise.

Posted by: josephistan at June 29, 2016 11:57 AM (7HtZB)

280 The problem is that Vader wasn't really much of a badass - he fucked up everything he touched. Couldn't recognize a droid he built. Now that you mention it, I don't think he was ever in a position to actually, well, see Threepio during any of the original trilogy. Or R2D2, I think.

Posted by: Brother Cavil at June 29, 2016 11:57 AM (9krrF)

281 Re the previous thread. Those guys didn't worry about gluten in their diet, or red meats, or saturated fats. Just saying.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at June 29, 2016 11:57 AM (9mTYi)

282 Ahhh okay then I misunderstood and I apologize. Posted by: alexthechick - I despair I despair at June 29, 2016 04:55 PM (mf5HN) No problem, I probably could have worded the original comment better.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 11:58 AM (3ZoRf)

283 Anyone watch The Man in the High Castle?

Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT[/s][/i][/b] at June 29, 2016 11:58 AM (kWQPe)

284 Those Death Stars have to be expensive. - And the deductible on the insurance brutal. Good hands my ass.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Racist for Dinosaurs at June 29, 2016 11:58 AM (Nwg0u)

285 Makes me feel better that people that I Internet respect for concur on my feelings on a movie. But it also hurts my internet feelings when they diss a movie that I thought was undissable. I'm talking about Guardians of the Galaxy. I was surprised so many people here said it stunk.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at June 29, 2016 11:59 AM (34alA)

286 279 You just know that within 10 years Disney will just reboot the entire Star Wars franchise. Posted by: josephistan at June 29, 2016 04:57 PM (7HtZB) I always thought they could turn the X-Wing novels into a pretty good series.

Posted by: buzzion at June 29, 2016 11:59 AM (z/Ubi)

287 283 Anyone watch The Man in the High Castle? Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT at June 29, 2016 04:58 PM (kWQPe) No, but I bought the book and could not get through it.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at June 29, 2016 11:59 AM (KUaJL)

288 Those Death Stars have to be expensive. - And the deductible on the insurance brutal. Good hands my ass. Not to mention the deaths of all those independent contractors...

Posted by: Brother Cavil at June 29, 2016 11:59 AM (9krrF)

289 The problem is that Vader wasn't really much of a badass - he fucked up everything he touched. Couldn't recognize a droid he built. Couldn't recover a set of plans (hell, just blowing up Leia's ship would have solved the problem, since they knew the plans were on board). Could't sense Kenobi. Couldn't protect the Death Star. Let the Rebels Dunkirk out of Hoth. Couldn't turn his son. Couldn't capture his son. Could't defeat his son. Couldn't protect a second Death Star. The guy was really only a threat to underlings. He may have looked imposing, but he was pretty much a less-competent Obama. L. O. L.

Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT[/s][/i][/b] at June 29, 2016 11:59 AM (kWQPe)

290 Anyone watch The Man in the High Castle? ------------ I've watched about 80% of the first season. I kind of like it, but not enough to just want to watch the next one. Interesting premise, but a little slow for me.

Posted by: SH at June 29, 2016 12:00 PM (gmeXX)

291 Now that you mention it, I don't think he was ever in a position to actually, well, see Threepio during any of the original trilogy. Or R2D2, I think. Posted by: Brother Cavil at June 29, 2016 04:57 PM (9krrF) Carbonite chamber during Solo's freezing on Bespin.

Posted by: buzzion at June 29, 2016 12:01 PM (z/Ubi)

292 227 Avatar was a giant semi-sunken turd swirling in a bowl of backed-up blue toilet Prepare for James Cameron to give you an entire 'stadium trough' full of turd sequels.

Posted by: wooga at June 29, 2016 12:01 PM (DPbdz)

293 via Insty, we're #1!

http://tinyurl.com/zzkg39v

Posted by: Testicus at June 29, 2016 12:01 PM (XVTvT)

294 Carbonite chamber during Solo's freezing on Bespin. Wasn't he a- somewhat disassembled b- in bad light c- mostly on Chewie's back?

Posted by: Brother Cavil at June 29, 2016 12:01 PM (9krrF)

295 I still have yet to meet one person who watched Avatar.

Posted by: SH at June 29, 2016 12:01 PM (gmeXX)

296 "Kurosawa was a huge influence. I can think of a few funny bits of visual comedy right away that would fit.

Instead we get large combs in the sand. The only bit of parody that actually works is the marketing part.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 04:42 PM (8o3AL) "

You want him to make Kurosawa references when most of the audience doesn't even know about the influence of Hidden Fortress on Star Wars and has never seen a Kurosawa movie? And I suppose Scream should have been packed with references to giallo films instead of the Halloween, Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street properties that people were actually familiar with.

Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at June 29, 2016 12:01 PM (kumBu)

297 The guy was really only a threat to underlings. He may have looked imposing, but he was pretty much a less-competent Obama. That's an insult to Vader. He's better than Obama. When his underlings fuck up, he gets rid of them.

Posted by: buzzion at June 29, 2016 12:02 PM (z/Ubi)

298 What was the most evil thing Vader did in the original? He pretty much kills just as many people as Kylo does. Posted by: buzzion at June 29, 2016 04:50 PM (z/Ubi) That may be true, but Vader has no problem at all killing his own people. as in the force-choked guy. He has no problem torturing a girl. Vader is that guy who's so powerful, so strong- that he is in a way beyond morality- he does what he does because he wants to, and no one can stop him. Darth Emo comes off more like a monkey with a shotgun- dangerous but as much to himself as anyone else. Especially, when he doesn't get his bananas or whatever throws him into a tantrum. By the way, Vader's incredible badassedness is why the Emperor's appearance undercuts Vader's image at the end. This weak, old, mean girl is Vader's boss? Oh hell, no.

Posted by: naturalfake at June 29, 2016 12:02 PM (0cMkb)

299 Re: Zombie and the fascination with Star Wars This is a discussion I have had with MMM a couple times on here. I think the important things about these types of stories and comics as well is how they influence the culture, specifically how they influence you boys. I think it is important to have stories about good and evil. About good guys fighting evil, not because it is easy, but because it is the right thing to do. These types of things give a lot of the moments that shape a young person- the idea that they can and should do the right thing, not against the Mandarin or Darth Vader, but when they see the bully pushing around the fat kid in the school yard. These types of influences have been greatly diminished with the assault on fatherhood, manliness, and heroes in general in the culture, so it is important to latch onto them wherever they are and laud and analyse them. It may seem childish, but I see it as part of a greater cultural fight.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 12:03 PM (3ZoRf)

300 I've watched about 80% of the first season. I kind of like it, but not enough to just want to watch the next one. Interesting premise, but a little slow for me. Yeah. Is slow. Read where the author was looking into other storylines in a similar vein, but had to quit. The more he researched the more it became soul crushing.

Posted by: rickb223 TEXIT[/s][/i][/b] at June 29, 2016 12:03 PM (kWQPe)

301 294 Carbonite chamber during Solo's freezing on Bespin. Wasn't he a- somewhat disassembled b- in bad light c- mostly on Chewie's back? Posted by: Brother Cavil at June 29, 2016 05:01 PM (9krrF) And would not shut up.

Posted by: buzzion at June 29, 2016 12:03 PM (z/Ubi)

302 296 You want him to make Kurosawa references when most of the audience doesn't even know about the influence of Hidden Fortress on Star Wars and has never seen a Kurosawa movie? And I suppose Scream should have been packed with references to giallo films instead of the Halloween, Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street properties that people were actually familiar with. Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at June 29, 2016 05:01 PM (kumBu) ========================= We're talking about quality of a parody, not whether middle America gets all of the references or not. Those are not always the same thing.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 12:04 PM (8o3AL)

303 The film was just a complete repeat, except with Affirmative Action. Still, it was way better than the Lucas reboot.

Posted by: Maritime at June 29, 2016 12:04 PM (3bOpa)

304 "The problem is that Vader wasn't really much of a badass - he fucked up everything he touched. Couldn't recognize a droid he built." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ He couldn't recognize the droid he built because George Lucas is a bad writer. Have you ever seen the Making of Episode I documentary? Lucas made up the prequels as he went along. He didn't bother to go back and make sure any of the plot points in the prequels matched up with what we already knew from the original trilogy. For example, when Leia says in Jedi that she knew her real mother (Padme) just a little bit because she died when she was young and in Sith Padme dies after giving birth.

Posted by: Serenity Now! at June 29, 2016 12:04 PM (J6mLH)

305 299 you=young boys.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 12:04 PM (3ZoRf)

306 292 227 Avatar was a giant semi-sunken turd swirling in a bowl of backed-up blue toilet Prepare for James Cameron to give you an entire 'stadium trough' full of turd sequels. Posted by: wooga at June 29, 2016 05:01 PM (DPbdz) You have to wonder just how successful they'll be. Avatar was a huge grossing success at the box office, but no one talks about it anymore except as a punch line "Dances with Smurfs." It never built a fan base the way that Star Wars or Star Trek or even Firefly. I've never seen a person wear an Avatar t-shirt - just try to go a day without seeing someone with a SW t-shirt.

Posted by: josephistan at June 29, 2016 12:05 PM (7HtZB)

307 Together until the end: Anglican Priest, 81, died embracing his 90-year-old wife as California wildfire ripped through their hometown =========== So sad. Ran outside and were overcome by the smoke. Wish people wd check on their elderly neighbors.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at June 29, 2016 12:05 PM (iQIUe)

308 >>What was the most evil thing Vader did in the original? He pretty much kills just as many people as Kylo does.


Uh, didn't he destroy Leia's home planet - killing all of its inhabitants - in the beginning of the 1st one?

Posted by: Barack the Magnificent at June 29, 2016 12:05 PM (NOIQH)

309 220 Best remake ever was Judge Dredd because it had to be. Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at June 29, 2016 04:41 PM (34alA) So much better than Stallone's effort. Dredd is supposed to be dark, bleak and gritty, not cartoonish with a comic sidekick.

Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at June 29, 2016 12:05 PM (0mRoj)

310 This reminds me of a quote from Baseketball: airing between "Recycled Junk" starring Lisa Campbell and "Same Old Crap" featuring teen heartthrob Mark Swenson, all part of the great fall lineup on our network's "Who gives a rat's ass?" Thursdays.

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at June 29, 2016 12:06 PM (gmjUl)

311 He didn't bother to go back and make sure any of the plot points in the prequels matched up with what we already knew from the original trilogy. ------------ All he needed was one nerd who could tell him that doing X in a prequel was completely contradicted by Y in the original.

Posted by: SH at June 29, 2016 12:07 PM (gmeXX)

312 The prequels killed it for me forever.
I won't even look at anything star wars anymore.

Posted by: Village Idiot at June 29, 2016 12:07 PM (bf86X)

313 Uh, didn't he destroy Leia's home planet - killing all of its inhabitants - in the beginning of the 1st one? Posted by: Barack the Magnificent at June 29, 2016 05:05 PM (NOIQH) That was Grand Moff Tarkin, who was "holding Vader's leash" as Leia put it.

Posted by: josephistan at June 29, 2016 12:07 PM (7HtZB)

314 Uh, didn't he destroy Leia's home planet - killing all of its inhabitants - in the beginning of the 1st one? Posted by: Barack the Magnificent at June 29, 2016 05:05 PM (NOIQH) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- No, that was Grand Moff Tarkin.

Posted by: Serenity Now! at June 29, 2016 12:07 PM (J6mLH)

315 On Netflix if you have a chance see the 2part Gunpowder Treason And Plot Robert Carlisle does a great turn as James VI and I He's not evil so much as ugly. Great line: What you see before you is ugly and twisted but if you could look into my heart you would see something uglier still

Posted by: Bigbys Cellphone at June 29, 2016 12:08 PM (TaJ8L)

316 So much better than Stallone's effort. Dredd is supposed to be dark, bleak and gritty, not cartoonish with a comic sidekick. Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at June 29, 2016 05:05 PM (0mRoj) Dredd is an interesting movie. It is such a small scale story. Very little character development. It was refreshing.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 12:08 PM (3ZoRf)

317 Uh, didn't he destroy Leia's home planet - killing all of its inhabitants - in the beginning of the 1st one? Posted by: Barack the Magnificent at June 29, 2016 05:05 PM (NOIQH) Nope. That was Tarkin.

Posted by: buzzion at June 29, 2016 12:08 PM (z/Ubi)

318 Uh, didn't he destroy Leia's home planet - killing all of its inhabitants - in the beginning of the 1st one? Posted by: Barack the Magnificent at June 29, 2016 05:05 PM (NOIQH) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- No, that was Grand Moff Tarkin.

Posted by: Amy Schumer at June 29, 2016 12:09 PM (0mRoj)

319 "We're talking about quality of a parody, not whether middle America gets all of the references or not.

Those are not always the same thing.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 05:04 PM (8o3AL) "

You're not going to build a successful parody with a bunch of 1%-er jokes. You can mix in some jokes that are mostly there to please the writers, but what's the point of a parody if most of the jokes fly over everyone's head?

Good parody is both accessible and clever. Friedberg and Seltzer understand the first half, but they seemingly don't have a clever bone in their bodies.

Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at June 29, 2016 12:09 PM (kumBu)

320 I feel neglected.

Posted by: Midichlorians at June 29, 2016 12:09 PM (XVTvT)

321 Movies with a far superior and more interesting sci-fi universes than the Star Wars universe include: -- A Boy and His Dog -- THX-1138 -- Lost in Space -- Zardoz -- Star Trek -- Interstellar -- Silent Running -- original Rollerball -- etc. And these are just random ones off the top of my head. I'm serious about all of these: most of them were great ideas but had terrible executions. Other were good set-ups but never fully explored. I'd love to see franchises based on any of these universes, if done well.

Posted by: zombie at June 29, 2016 12:09 PM (jBuUi)

322 All he needed was one nerd who could tell him that doing X in a prequel was completely contradicted by Y in the original. Posted by: SH at June 29, 2016 05:07 PM (gmeXX) ------------------------------------------------------------- And it's not like he would've had any trouble finding one.

Posted by: Serenity Now! at June 29, 2016 12:09 PM (J6mLH)

323 I have a Grand Moff!

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at June 29, 2016 12:10 PM (2WoCi)

324 No, that was Grand Moff Tarkin. Posted by: Amy Schumer at June 29, 2016 05:09 PM (0mRoj) Dammit Amy! I was going to say that as you!

Posted by: Aetius451AD at June 29, 2016 12:10 PM (3ZoRf)

325 "305 299 you=young boys." Go on.

Posted by: Harry Reid at June 29, 2016 12:10 PM (OD2ni)

326 Please tell me that- "Grand Muff Tarkin" was a major character in the "Star Wars" porn parodies. If not, what a tragically wasted opportunity.

Posted by: naturalfake at June 29, 2016 12:10 PM (0cMkb)

327 We are the Chalmun's Cantina!

Posted by: The DNC at June 29, 2016 12:11 PM (Tyii7)

328 Apropos of nothing, I've had a really sh***y day. But I got a big laugh (my only one today) out of the #bringbackourmoney from the sidebar. Indeed. I can always count on the Horde to brighten my day.

Posted by: Lady in Black - Death to the Man Bun at June 29, 2016 12:11 PM (+FSld)

329 260 Galaxy Quest was awesome and I never wanted to bang Sigourney Weaver more than that movie. In fact, only that movie.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at June 29, 2016 04:51 PM (5a+0E)

++++

Your ignorance is shocking.

https://youtu.be/oCxUwrzVaaA

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at June 29, 2016 12:12 PM (R+30W)

330 326 Please tell me that- "Grand Muff Tarkin" was a major character in the "Star Wars" porn parodies. If not, what a tragically wasted opportunity. Posted by: naturalfake at June 29, 2016 05:10 PM (0cMkb) I hope they also had the idea to have the Twi'Lek's head tails end as dildos

Posted by: buzzion at June 29, 2016 12:12 PM (z/Ubi)

331 Nood Huma

Posted by: Buzzsaw at June 29, 2016 12:12 PM (tf9Ne)

332 It's really quite extrodinairy, Ambassador Stevens's family is not blaming Hillary or the Obama administration but congress for under funding embassy security. That is quite frankly the stupidest fucking shit I have ever heard. This truly is the story of good vs evil. Evil wins.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at June 29, 2016 12:12 PM (IqV8l)

333 Imagine being a Lesser Moff, waiting for someone to die so you can move up the hierarchy.

Posted by: jostling for power at June 29, 2016 12:12 PM (2WoCi)

334 "No, that was Grand Moff Tarkin. Posted by: Amy Schumer" Never gets old. LMAO.

Posted by: Benji Carver at June 29, 2016 12:13 PM (OD2ni)

335 Everywhere is freaks and hairies, dykes and fairies, tell me where is sanity?

Posted by: The DNC at June 29, 2016 12:13 PM (Tyii7)

336 295 I still have yet to meet one person who watched Avatar. Posted by: SH Hey, I made it all the way to the smurfs-doing-the-spiritual-ritual-in-the-tree scene, which is almost halfway through! So I half-watched it before giving up in disgust. Not bad.

Posted by: zombie at June 29, 2016 12:13 PM (jBuUi)

337 295 I still have yet to meet one person who watched Avatar. Posted by: SH _ I've sat through it a couple of times and I own it. I keep wanting to like it but always fail in my efforts. That being said...watch the final 40 minutes independent of the rest of the movie. That's a great action sequence.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 12:17 PM (xeiq6)

338 There's something to be said for understated evil. Gotta love the callous disregard for human life of a guy like Harry Lime in The Third Man. But modern cinema doesn't have much room for subtlety.

Posted by: broseidon king of the brocean at June 29, 2016 12:20 PM (kumBu)

339 My company (the one I work for, I mean) changed it's name a few months ago we're still driving a fan and wearing apparel sporting the old name. That's my bitch for the day.

Posted by: Lincolntf at June 29, 2016 12:20 PM (2cS/G)

340 van, not fan. fer fuxsake.

Posted by: Lincolntf at June 29, 2016 12:22 PM (2cS/G)

341 339 My company (the one I work for, I mean) changed it's name a few months ago we're still driving a fan and wearing apparel sporting the old name. That's my bitch for the day. Posted by: Lincolntf at June 29, 2016 05:20 PM (2cS/G) _ My sympathies.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison at June 29, 2016 12:22 PM (xeiq6)

342 So what if the prequels had "new" ideas as compared to Force Awakens Those ideas (midi-chlorians, Jedi Baby Academy, trade embargoes) SUCKED SOOOO MUCH ASS!!! Give me a competently-made rehash over a wholly-original sh**storm any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

Posted by: SaveFarris at June 29, 2016 12:23 PM (OzJKq)

343 Cameron I dub thee Capt. Obvious. At some point during my first viewing of the movie I realized they had pulled not just story and character elements from the original movies but from the wealth of written literature and video games (Rey and Bastila Shan are very very similar) and... I didn't care. Unlike the last three movies I really felt like I was seeing a Star Wars movie again... it brought out that childhood wonder and excitement again. If more directors doing reboots worried less about putting their spin and mark on their work and more about hearkening back to what prompted the reboot in the first place, reboots would more often be successful. Abrams walked the fine line between "new and fresh" and "unrecognizable" very well.

Posted by: thecoat at June 29, 2016 12:38 PM (j3QJG)

344 My guess is that Han is really Snoke. The reveal will be like when Vince McMahon was the Higher Power. In the 3rd movie, Han will pull off his Snoke mask and say, "It's me, Luke. It's me, Luke. It was me all along, Luke." All the while, C-3P0 will be screaming, "Tell me why Han, you son of a bitch, why?!?"

Posted by: Texas99 at June 29, 2016 12:40 PM (sBm2i)

345 After puking out Dances With Catgirls, James Cameron certainly knows all there is to refluffing old movies with flash effects.

Posted by: Sam at June 29, 2016 12:52 PM (x15d2)

346 Sigourney Weaver in Aliens - meh. Sigourney actually showing her boobies - meh. Sigourney blonde showing cleavage - me rikey!!!

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at June 29, 2016 01:01 PM (5a+0E)

347 Cameron started as a matte painter. He directed Terminator 1 and 2, Aliens, Abyss, and True Lies, so his talent can't be argued. His marketing with Avatar and Titanic has been covered by Mister Plinkett, and that place of cynicism next to Lucas is also deserved. His point about how visually, it was boring, is spot on. Compare the trailers to Episode 1 and 7, and tell me which looks more interesting. Obviously the trailer is a lie, but tell me it isn't really visually amazing.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at June 29, 2016 01:01 PM (VdICR)

348 I suppose Avatar was daring and original. 

Other than the first Terminator film, his movies have more cardboard than a UPS store.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at June 29, 2016 01:06 PM (AroJD)

349 But the fact that he's made 4 Avatar sequels? I hope they bomb. I can make a soft prediction that they will. That would fill me with schadenfreude.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at June 29, 2016 01:09 PM (VdICR)

350 That fuckin' Abrams with his lens glare, think of something you don't do every fucking picture. Like artificial moonlight and blue lenses

Posted by: James Fuckin' Cameron at June 29, 2016 01:26 PM (35JIE)

351 Cameron got his start working for Roger Corman. He's a technical genius but his script writing and character development never progressed from the Corman level of movies he started from.

Posted by: kbdabear at June 29, 2016 01:33 PM (35JIE)

352 "So for me, the jury's out. I want to see where they're going with it." Spoilers: They're going to back to the Death Star. It's all about the Death Star! I'm sick of Star Wars. The first 3 movies were fun when I was a teenager, but Lucas et al. have gone back the that well too many times. Enough already.

Posted by: sinalco at June 29, 2016 01:34 PM (yODqO)

353 I''ll never forgive Cameron for not showing us that blue lady's tits in Avatar. IIRC Mr. Plinkett hated the flick for that reason alone.

Posted by: Noam Sayen at June 29, 2016 02:17 PM (bIhmV)

354 People, people, PEOPLE!  Cameron didn't rip of "Dances with Wolves."  He ripped off "Call me Joe," by Poul Anderson.  Just about the EXACT same plot.

Posted by: Patrick at June 29, 2016 02:47 PM (U6YEj)

355 Their must have been "rednecks" in the latest Start Wars. Cameron HATES "rednecks".

Posted by: George at June 29, 2016 03:19 PM (AIftp)

356 So, I guess Avatar wasn't ripping off Dune?

Posted by: Kevin at June 29, 2016 03:53 PM (wGYgK)

357 It's almost like a soft reboot was exactly what Star Wars needed. It was by no means a perfect movie, Abrams has plenty of terrible habits like stuffing fanservice everywhere and rehashing plot (eg his forays into Star Trek), but it distanced itself from the absolute dreck of the prequels and set the stage for new adventures with new characters. Cameron has failed to do anything interesting in 20 years. I'm sure he's on his way towards his own Lucas moment as he tries to cash in with more Terminator and Avatar junk. I'm just hoping his involvement doesn't ruin Alita.

Posted by: Sjg at June 29, 2016 04:56 PM (gDSJf)

358 Testes.

Posted by: Dick at June 29, 2016 05:11 PM (A/+my)

359 OT: gee, I reset the router tonight and didn't get a new hashtag i.d.?

Posted by: [/i][/b]andycanuck[/s][/u] at June 29, 2016 05:13 PM (A/+my)

360 So many good stories to tell. Last Stand of Fox Company, With the Old Breed, Matterhorn, Fields of Fire... And we continue to rehash crap. Haven't stayed awake for any Star Wars movie since the first 3. And I'm very good at staying awake.

Posted by: 0302 at June 29, 2016 05:55 PM (hDDgx)

361 . . . says the guy who made a gazillion dollars off a remake of Dances with Wolves simply by replacing the Indians with blue aliens.

Posted by: Mike at June 30, 2016 04:12 AM (qXNVo)

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