August 31, 2007

Jack M's RedEye Bleg
— Jack M.

I hate having to do this, but I'm going to ask you morons for a favor. I'm going to try to harness your retard strength, much like the Avengers tried to focus the power of the Hulk.

I have been reliably informed that my future bride, Fox News' Ms. Suzanne Sena, made mention of me last night on Red Eye w/ Greg Gutfeld. Further, I have been told that she discussed our trip to Baskin Robbins that I blogged about in this post. She did so with discretion, of course, which is yet another of her admirable qualities.

Unfortunately, the video of this magic moment does not yet appear on RedEye Recap, and my usual source for video clips, the great and merciful Allahpundit, appears not to have captured this particular segment.

So I am firing up the batsignal and calling upon y'all to help me. If you find it, and could post a link to it in the comments, that would be great.

It would also earn you an invitation to the future wedding ceremonies, which will, of course, feature an open bar stocked with Val U Rite Vodka. I look out for those who look out for me.

THE MOST IMPORTANT UPDATE ON ANY STORY IN AoS HISTORY!

Courtesy of my new favorite commenter, Red Eye Recap, I now have the footage in which the world's best ombudsman, Andrew Levy, uses his sharp investigative skills on Fox News' Ms. Suzanne Sena.

The Result? Magic.

Special Thanks to Andrew Levy for the mentions both of me and of the site. I got a big kick out of it, and I hope all you regular readers who are in on the running joke did too.

And Suzanne? I have a very special post in the works for you. I promise it won't be mean. I won't promise that it doesn't involve another trip to Baskin Robbins.

Posted by: Jack M. at 09:04 AM | Comments (47)
Post contains 324 words, total size 2 kb.

1

You know she has her own website?


http://suzannesena.com/


Posted by: Entropy at August 31, 2007 09:12 AM (m6c4H)

2

Ace,


if you let this continue, some poor girl is going to bring a restraining order stating that AoS website should not come within 100 yards of teh intertubes.


Posted by: Tushar D at August 31, 2007 09:15 AM (IlgNp)

3 So, you both had milkshakes? Or, was it frozen tuberculosis  courtesy of  the friendly Baskin Robbins illegal aliens?

Posted by: sparky at August 31, 2007 09:25 AM (KVQhs)

4

Aren't you about fifty years too old for her?


Creep.


Posted by: mesablue at August 31, 2007 09:25 AM (KCOdQ)

5 Wow - she is nocturnal emissions HOT! Seeing as how I hardly ever watch the news on Fox or otherwise I never got Aces panting ans sweating before


Posted by: Bruce at August 31, 2007 09:29 AM (2q+Ss)

6 If it makes you feel better though, I will save Aishwarya Rai for you.

Tushar, I'm afraid that there will have to be pistols at dawn should you try to take her away from me. 

Posted by: alexthechick at August 31, 2007 09:31 AM (SHHaV)

7

Does anyone else remember Suzanne when she hosted that Coming Attractions show on E! in the late 90's? She made crap like The Phantom Menace look interesting.


Posted by: The Puppet-Master Extraordinaire at August 31, 2007 09:40 AM (NnpEK)

8

she hosted that Coming Attractions


JackM will tell you that she still performs that function.


Posted by: cranky at August 31, 2007 09:49 AM (Xj2Ev)

9 Your future bride? Does she know about this?

Posted by: Tom at August 31, 2007 09:51 AM (02oyd)

10

made mention of me last night on Red Eye w/ Greg Gutfeld.


 


This day is getting weirder and weirder.


 


Is it just me?  Anybody else?


Posted by: Dave in Texas at August 31, 2007 09:58 AM (pzen5)

11 I read it as 'future ride' but whats the diff?

Posted by: not that ryan at August 31, 2007 10:03 AM (iZ4CI)

12 I emailed you and said that I would post you just had to ask. I'll have it up in a few minutes.

Posted by: RedEyeRecap at August 31, 2007 10:06 AM (2fqP9)

13

made mention of me last night on Red Eye w/ Greg Gutfeld.
This day is getting weirder and weirder.

My guess is it's part of the police's plan to draw Jack M. out. Don't fall for it Jack! Run!



Posted by: Drew at August 31, 2007 10:08 AM (hlYel)

14

Your future bride? Does she know about this?


Hmmm.  Very interesting.  I'm so glad that I took the time to snoop thru clean up my boys room today.


JackM, you are in big trouble when you get home today.


 


Posted by: JackM's mother at August 31, 2007 10:08 AM (bbE9U)

15 I thought I was looking in a mirror.  Sheesh.  It was a surreal moment.  I have a white shirt just like hers.

: :

Posted by: Sue at August 31, 2007 10:17 AM (Jol77)

16

Try clicking on the Redeye video labeled "Effort is key to 'Red Eye' Success." Andrew Levy brings it up.


Posted by: Jason at August 31, 2007 10:20 AM (Y2Bw/)

17 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7O5oyl-Yihg

Theres your video.

Posted by: RedEyeRecap at August 31, 2007 10:23 AM (2fqP9)

18 Further, I have been told that she
discussed our trip to Baskin Robbins that I blogged about in this post.
She did so with discretion, of course, which is yet another of her
admirable qualities.



Having now watched the video, I can only guess that Jack M. thinks
'with discretion' actually means, "horrified and
uncomfortable".  Good to know.

Posted by: Drew at August 31, 2007 10:33 AM (hlYel)

19 Hey, RedEyeRecap!  That was funny as hell when Courtney Friel told you she better not see a clip the next day!

Posted by: sinistar at August 31, 2007 10:51 AM (qCp9p)

20 HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  Man, I can't believe I missed that!  I fell asleep at 1:30.

Posted by: sinistar at August 31, 2007 10:53 AM (qCp9p)

21 First Redeye Recap gets a shout out, now JackM? Does anyone else think this is getting weird? Next we'll see Ace as a guest on the show.

Posted by: Dauntes at August 31, 2007 11:04 AM (6+L/P)

22 Could someone please tell the redeye folks to start using closed caption?  please?

Posted by: malphonse at August 31, 2007 11:10 AM (p1s9n)

23 I think they've actually offered to have Ace on, but he wants to be in studio, because its kinda hard to follow the show when you're on live feed.  I hope he does it someday, and you better give us a heads up Ace!

Posted by: sinistar at August 31, 2007 11:17 AM (qCp9p)

24 Come on Jack, you know that Greg just put her up to saying something it because he was using her to get to you.  Just be careful or you'll end up with a "wide stance" whether you want one or not.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at August 31, 2007 11:20 AM (plsiE)

25 Jack,

She denied knowing you!  The biggest betrayal since Peter denied knowing Jesus.

Course she only denied you once....so there's still hope.

Posted by: Kasper Hauser at August 31, 2007 11:33 AM (KeOQp)

26 I caught it on Tivo last night and was shocked, amazed, proud and just a little creeped out. Too bad I haven't mastered the art of extracting video from my crippled DTV Tivo.

Posted by: TBinSTL at August 31, 2007 11:35 AM (2J6+t)

27 How about hips of a feather flock together?

Posted by: RD at August 31, 2007 12:01 PM (5Tkeh)

28 Is pepper spray legal in NYC?  I'm thinking the Susanne and the other Fox News hotties might want to consider a group purchase.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at August 31, 2007 12:02 PM (plsiE)

29 Restraining order in 5...4...3..

I love Red Eye.

I feel like I am part of the In Crowd, but then I read the comments and the reality sets back in, again.

Aishwarya Rai is the most gorgeous actress on Earth.

Posted by: Stormy70 at August 31, 2007 12:24 PM (Y+o71)

30 Good choice, Ace. Same for the Valu-Rite. Myself, I'd satisfy both needs by lapping the Dhue.

Posted by: gene berman at August 31, 2007 12:27 PM (8SZcW)

31

Jack M,


She is currently living with Patty Ann Brown; you have to take them both, they are inseparable.


 


 


Posted by: eman at August 31, 2007 01:03 PM (F/DIG)

32

Can't believe you doubted me Jack... anything I ever say will go down always goes down as I say.


Now I must finish my analysis of JFK's assassination. You'll never guess who did it!...


Posted by: TheEJS at August 31, 2007 01:03 PM (KINJc)

33

Next we'll see Ace as a guest on the show.


I don't think so. My evidence you say? He's still out, rolling across America...


Posted by: TheEJS at August 31, 2007 01:08 PM (KINJc)

34 She seemed less creeped out than I imagined.  Maybe there is still hope for you, Jack.

Posted by: Steve L. at August 31, 2007 02:04 PM (hpZf2)

35 Can we make her the the Guest of Honor(ess) at Acepaooza. I've been shot down by hot chicks before, but never a celebrity hot chick. Jack you don't have a chance with this sweet thing. Why don't you find a woman that already hates you and give her half of your shit. Save yourself an ass kicking from all the middle men, like PFA servers, lawyers, MADD, PETA, Christian Coaltion,Rainbow Coalition, NBA, NFL, Hells Angels, NRA, South Florida Jewish Voters Association, Actors Guild, Teamsters, Vegas Quickie marriage Group, The Templars, IRA, Apple Pie bakers association and every decent human being on the planet. Your  only shot a a woman is a mail order bride from Darfur.

Posted by: hutch1200 at August 31, 2007 02:16 PM (Lt1qB)

36

I still remember her from 'E'.


Why?


I still remember thinking 'Holy cow! That child is nothng but legs!"


Wait a minute....


Why would I remember that?


 


Posted by: jmflynny at August 31, 2007 02:16 PM (iAdm7)

37 She is, without a doubt, a very beautiful woman. And the little blush makes it seem like she is a genuine, fun, down to earth person. A rare and beautiful trait seldom seen in the media "personalities" of of today. But that's just my take from watching just a short clip, over 700 times. And counting.  

Posted by: hutch1200 at August 31, 2007 02:22 PM (Lt1qB)

38

Her voice is grating and I think I see an Adam's apple. 


 


Posted by: eman at August 31, 2007 03:08 PM (F/DIG)

39 Eman,

You verge on blasphemy, my friend.

Repent and see the error of your ways!

Or not...just means less competition for me.

Posted by: Jack M. at August 31, 2007 03:11 PM (Rt2uy)

40
Special Thanks to Andrew Levy for the mentions both of me and of the site.

Wait. Is  Andrew Levy your future bride?


Posted by: sparky at August 31, 2007 03:35 PM (Bi8sm)

41

i d hit it


 


Posted by: w at August 31, 2007 04:46 PM (/dBAM)

42 you rock Jack.
just watch those bathroom stalls.
Ace could be trying to set you up as a pervert.

Posted by: ladyblogger at August 31, 2007 06:31 PM (tvaix)

43

so weird now.


 


I hear that Twilight Zone shit.


Posted by: Dave in Texas at August 31, 2007 07:24 PM (FXakj)

44 Jack,

Please send the check asap.

Posted by: Levy at August 31, 2007 08:26 PM (T0yHi)

45 Jack,  you da man!

Posted by: JD at August 31, 2007 09:05 PM (gmEhp)

46 Levy,

Haven't you learned anything from your association with Gutfeld? These kind of transactions are always supposed to be done in CASH, not checks.

As Gut explains it, that way his "deal" with Bill can never be made public.

Posted by: Jack M. at September 01, 2007 09:03 AM (Rt2uy)

Posted by: gfdsg at February 05, 2009 03:37 PM (b40qC)

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