February 28, 2009

It Has Come To Our Attention That Michelle Obama Has Nice Guns
— LauraW

Update: Not sure how I ended up with a dupe post.
Keeping them both I guess because they both have comments.
----------------------

I can't say I disagree. In fact, I mentioned it over at some other blog during the Inaugural balls when she was getting cut up for her fashion sense.

The media's long uninterrupted O-gasm continues apace:

How to get Michelle Obama's toned arms

The question we must ask ourselves; how does she get them? One can't help but notice that her figure exhibits no other evidence that she's a longtime gym rat.

We here at AOSHQ have been unable to search up any beauty articles in which women say Mrs. Obama inspired them to transform their lower halves into colossal spongiform pumpkins.

Look, I don't want to be mean to Michelle Obama about her looks. I want to be mean to the fawning press which has thrown all pretense of objectivity out the window. Unfortunately in order to do this, I have to point out things about her that the press ignores. This is tearing me up inside, but I have no choice.

Here's another one:

First lady bares her arms and a nation is awestruck

Only if by 'a nation' you mean a hyperventilating MSM that is looking for anything, anything nice to say about this woman's looks.

The MSM needs help creating new headlines celebrating Mrs. Obama's....erm, more striking features. We should help them out.
I'll kick it off:

You're Beautiful When You're Angry: How To Get Michelle Obama's Eyebrows

ps: I did a google image search using the term 'angry eyebrows' and Michelle's mug showed up all over the place.

Thanks to Slublog and Ace.

Posted by: LauraW at 07:27 AM | Comments (129)
Post contains 304 words, total size 2 kb.

1

Barack Curls.

C'mon, look at her. She can lift him. Easy.

Posted by: Squatch at February 28, 2009 07:30 AM (COZb8)

2 My wife has bigger pipes. And she ain't buttugly  like her with that fucked up underbite.

Posted by: LtE113(Mike in Chicago) at February 28, 2009 07:31 AM (/L1AV)

3 Worf wouldn't fuck that with Kahless' dick and Duras pushing.

Posted by: catmman at February 28, 2009 07:31 AM (BCSpK)

4 Did we lose the other comment thread?

Posted by: catmman at February 28, 2009 07:32 AM (BCSpK)

5 Smart lady. She bares her arms so people will not talk about her enormous butt.

Posted by: rockmom at February 28, 2009 07:33 AM (xOEA9)

6 This must have been a really important post, seeing as how you put it up twice.  The loose shit continues.

Posted by: cranky-d at February 28, 2009 07:34 AM (8TXe9)

7 Story of my life. I post something utterly brilliant and *poof* it goes up in smoke. FUCK!

Posted by: KelliD at February 28, 2009 07:34 AM (Q9Cny)

8 is this posted twice because she has two guns? one for each?

First lady bares her arms and a nation The Nation is awestruck

FIFY MSM

Posted by: A.G. at February 28, 2009 07:35 AM (JoIvi)

9 popeye has nicer legs.

Posted by: reliapundit at February 28, 2009 07:36 AM (Hhqr7)

10

Er,

I am a leg and ass man.  F on both for M.  Do all democrat women have piano legs?  And madam, to get that extra 50 pounds off your ass, try doing some squats or leg presses.

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at February 28, 2009 07:37 AM (2+9Yx)

11 Her can is enormous.

Posted by: ford at February 28, 2009 07:38 AM (Ki7fm)

12 She may have some rockin' arms but I've seen better lookin' grill's on worktruck's.

Posted by: Blazer at February 28, 2009 07:39 AM (+FzLa)

13 Well, at least were not treated to a bathing suit photo so the msm can talk about her T-Rex thighs.
At lest not yet.

Posted by: YIKES! at February 28, 2009 07:40 AM (obJsq)

14 Thank you, I'll have two humps and some fresh squeezed cow juice.

Posted by: solitary knight at February 28, 2009 07:41 AM (SqnIe)

15 "...colossal spongiform pumpkins."

That's really funny.  I just about spit my M&Ms all over my keyboard.  Damn you.  heh.

Posted by: The Other Shoe at February 28, 2009 07:46 AM (Pus2I)

16 Laura has managed to out-"Ace" Ace.

Well played,

Posted by: Herr Blcher at February 28, 2009 07:50 AM (ItVRn)

17 She has the powerful jaws of a warrior.  That chin could shatter bone.

Posted by: cranky-d at February 28, 2009 07:50 AM (8TXe9)

18 Sadly, the zombie public is buying into this shite.

I was in line at the grocery yesterday evening, and a lady in front of me commented to her husband that Mitchelle's dress was a bit risque on the cover of People.

Lady behind me just about lunged over me, spewing rain man style: "yes, but look at her arms. She has very nice arms. Did you see her arms?!!!!"

Pathetic.

Sorry, but the first Klingon is sourfaced, gawky, gangly, and in the end just not attractive- even if she does have longshoreman's arms.

This is all just part of the larger, breathlessly stupid fad that is obama mania.

Frankly, the jugeared nothing currently infesting my white house is the Mambo #5 or Macarena of politics. Wildly popular now, but in about two years (probably less) most people will wonder what the hell they were thinking. As is the way with all fads.

Pet Rock, anyone? How about some Earth Shoes to go with that Billy Beer?
 


Posted by: buster mcDissenter at February 28, 2009 07:52 AM (4ezUN)

19 How long before Holder takes away Michelle's guns?  She should register them.

Posted by: BillyBob at February 28, 2009 07:55 AM (cWg6W)

20 Those are definitely keg-stand arm's.

Posted by: Blazer at February 28, 2009 07:56 AM (+FzLa)

21 I'm partial to the black widow dress myself.

Posted by: Scaramouche at February 28, 2009 07:57 AM (YgKr6)

22
Somewhere I think I read about this before.

Posted by: Mr. Peabody at February 28, 2009 07:59 AM (Bmhbf)

23

Would showing some underarm hair hurt?

I'm not encouraging any fantasies about hirsuteness(sp) on the female anatomy, because that wouldn't be a good thing, but entertaining just the same.

And no I don't have that site bookmarked..........yet.

Posted by: solitary knight at February 28, 2009 08:01 AM (SqnIe)

24 Being six feet tall helps a whole lot when it comes to shapely upper arms.

I'll bet she has huge feet, though.

Posted by: Synova at February 28, 2009 08:05 AM (NxP4A)

25 I'll bet she has huge feet, though.


heh, you know what they say about big feet. Yea, thats my man....uh... uh I mean girl

Posted by: Barack Obama at February 28, 2009 08:09 AM (+FzLa)

26 Sorry about the double post, guys. Not sure how that happened. I went back into the page to edit it and for some reason ended up republishing it.

Posted by: lauraw at February 28, 2009 08:10 AM (1zMMp)

27 How anyone can call her "beautiful" is beyond me, I saw better looking pack mules in Afghanistan...

Posted by: Buffoon at February 28, 2009 08:10 AM (+h85D)

28 Have you seen Michelle Obama's 4th vertebra? Why, it's spectacular. It's topped only by her magnificent atrioventricular valves.

Also, I understand her Na+/K+ pumps are quite toned, too. Instead of normal ion transfer of 3 Na+ and 2 K+ per ATP, hers push 4 Na+ and 3 K+; so, at worst, she's 33% better than us mortals.

It's a new day. Jackie O smiles on this creation.

Posted by: MSM at February 28, 2009 08:12 AM (swuwV)

29 28 Have you seen Michelle Obama's 4th vertebra? Why, it's spectacular. It's topped only by her magnificent atrioventricular valves.

Sir, you maketh me to spit soda. Frickin' hilarious.

Posted by: lauraw at February 28, 2009 08:17 AM (1zMMp)

30 Behind every great man should be a strong woman. Very-very strong.

Ridiculously, frighteningly strong in fact.

Posted by: Barack Obama at February 28, 2009 08:17 AM (+FzLa)

31 What's with the mass psychosis? How can anyone look at Michelle Obama and claim she is pretty? Nobody deluded themselves about Laura Bush - but at least "Jack Nicholson Joker" had more feminine qualities than "Lieutenant Worf." Maybe it's like the reflex koskids have whenever you dare mention that Helen Thomas is kind of fugly. They've tilted the scales so much that any democratic woman this side of "Rotting Harpie" is now looked upon as Cleopatra.

Posted by: wooga at February 28, 2009 08:18 AM (IhzyJ)

32

Oh crap, my mom had better guns than Michelle when she was in her fifties -- and she barely topped 5' and 90 lbs. (and was a dance instructor to boot, so no big bootie or thunder thighs as a side order to the guns). 

 

The secret to toned arms, all you liberal ladies out there?

Do some freaking work! Sure, genetics plays a roll, and going to the gym to do 5 lb. dumbell curls is better than nothing at all, but clean your house, care for your child (if you have one) -- yourself!  It's amazing what working up an actual sweat from long duration physical activity will do for the bod.  Of course, the women in my family also have to bale hay and care for livestock, and drive farm implements, and can pack a shotgun and camping gear for a week long hunting expedition too -- and those don't hurt (in achieving guns and wiry, toned bodies), but just getting up off your butt and doing housework and childcare does wonders.

Oh, and the vegan diet doesn't give you "guns" either; try a prime rib sometime -- after all that actual "work" work, you'll find that a bit more appetizing than the tofu and arugula anyway.

 

Posted by: unknown jane at February 28, 2009 08:21 AM (EpmMs)

33

I don't know about Michelle, but I got my impressive arms by:

1) Throwing chain blades at my adversaries all day.

2)  Killing members of the Greek Pantheon while humiliating the Titans (gouging out Typhoon's Bane from Typhoon's eye and chaining Atlas to the Earth with the Gauntlet of Zeus).

3) Bedding 2 women at once and making a game out of it, say a "sex-minigame".

Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt. Olympus) at February 28, 2009 08:23 AM (9hSKh)

34 How long before we get a Senate investigation over Michelle's steroid use.

Posted by: Barry Bonds, Roger Clemons and Miguel Tejada at February 28, 2009 08:24 AM (+FzLa)

35 I've wondered lately what her fixation is with sleeveless dresses.  I mean, cripes, lady, it's February!  I guess it's the only believably attractive thing about her.   Big, fat, hairy deal.  And her legs look better when she's wearing heals and hose.  But she doesn't wear heals cause she's taller than Barak and no hose I guess cause she's dark skinned.  So her looks suffer.  Less than stunning women generally know some tricks to make up for nature's short-comings.  I guess she hasn't figured them out.

Posted by: katya at February 28, 2009 08:28 AM (oRJZj)

36 Barack is not fond of Michelle's big ass and non-existent rack. How do I know? Oh, I know.

Posted by: Vera Baker at February 28, 2009 08:32 AM (zoVA8)

37 If you guy's are turned on by my rock-hard arm's and sleeveless dresses in the dead of winter, you should get a load of me in my wife-beater and jort's.

Yea, I know, too hot. I'll leave it alone.

Posted by: Michelle Obama at February 28, 2009 08:37 AM (+FzLa)

38

17 She has the powerful jaws of a warrior.  That chin could shatter bone.

As I was walking my Little Lesbian Grirfriend's dog the other day we encountered the BIGGEST JAWED BULL DOG I EVER SAW!  Needless to say,after letting letting her sniff his testes for a brief second, as he turned and began to hiss at her, I pulled her away in sheer terror before he ripped her face off, and thought of Michele!  (Sura 2:29)

Posted by: 7HEAVENS at February 28, 2009 08:41 AM (MEMCX)

39 Your arms would be ripped as well, if you had to tug a pair of panties the size of a GP Large tent up past an enormous set of hips.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at February 28, 2009 08:44 AM (bu0Ek)

40 If you like my arm's, you guy's are really gonna love the workout video I'll have coming out shortly, 8 year abs

Posted by: Michelle Obama at February 28, 2009 08:52 AM (+FzLa)

41

Unknown Jane 33, you do realize this is bunk-bait you're posting, right? The Distaff Morons are a select group, and you're bucking for entry, lady.

'Strooth, the best-advantaged women I've ever seen have been farmers. Smart, too. Plus, there's something about being believably thin, honestly muscled, naturally tanned, healthily-fed and talking sense that can turn a merely pleasant face into a beautiful one. That and owning 160 acres of alfalfa and the barn to keep it in. That's a lot of hay: takes a lot of woman to manage it.

Posted by: comatus at February 28, 2009 08:58 AM (mtQad)

42 Really, I think it's unfair that some women have buff, toned arms and others have shapeless, flabby ones. I'm pretty sure there's some chicanery at work and the government should do something to level the playing field so that all women have access to the best arms.

Posted by: Average Jen at February 28, 2009 09:06 AM (OINAg)

43

Every time I see that woman's face I can't help but notice that she has a mouth like a Parrotfish.  Coral,anyone?

Posted by: nraendowment at February 28, 2009 09:17 AM (WN5r+)

44 The Tribune article is fascinating. In addition to having heavenly toned arms from all her moqbara duels, Michelle is apparently both 'smart' and 'accomplished'. I would love to see the evidence for either adjective.




Posted by: Waterhouse at February 28, 2009 09:31 AM (TFAmf)

45 the arms come from pretending she's a guilt stricken nun and Barry's nads are rosary beads.

Posted by: mark c at February 28, 2009 09:37 AM (5TzIe)

46 "Sleeveless in February" fad does wonders to waste energy consumption to maintain the "comfort zone" in the room. Hardly the responsible thing to do, considering that you've outlawed production of energy.

DISTRACTION, looking at Mich-ama now vs. then. Bring back the braided/beaded hair you swore you'd never give up, missy. Selling out to look "white" is what you swore YOU'D NEVER DO with your self conscious fashion conscience, Mich-ama.

Posted by: maverick muse at February 28, 2009 09:51 AM (qHQmV)

47 She also has a massive bootie.

Posted by: Obamanation of Desolation at February 28, 2009 09:51 AM (czm9r)

48 Just looking at her sends a shiver down my leg. If those aren't devil eyes the devil is blind. I had a neighbor lady (sic) who had eyes like that and every woman lived in fear of her right up to the day she was confined in a rubber room. Over 5 years and she's still there eating with rubber spoons.

Posted by: Scrapiron at February 28, 2009 09:56 AM (GkYyh)

49 "Michelle is apparently both 'smart' and 'accomplished'. I would love to see the evidence for either adjective."

Well, she did hold down an executive appointment at that hospital for a while - the appointment that was so important that the slot was abandoned when Barack got tapped as The One - so she has that going for her.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at February 28, 2009 09:57 AM (swuwV)

50 #43 -- Comatus, should I send you over the edge and tell you that every woman in my immediate family, since Mom, could also fire a qualifying standards round from Dad's M1903 (at the least range of 400m) prior to her 18th birthday, as well as square off against my husband with a pugi and not get completely ass whupped, which considering who my SO is isnt' a small task (well, except for Mom -- you don't do goof around like that with your MIL).

Posted by: unknown jane at February 28, 2009 09:59 AM (EpmMs)

51 Of course she's got strong arms. How else would she wield her double-edged Klingon war blade? 

Posted by: adolfo_velasquez at February 28, 2009 10:11 AM (W2LbB)

52 She does have a large turd-cutter....

Posted by: TH at February 28, 2009 10:24 AM (osoC4)

53  "Sometimes that woman looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about her is she's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When she comes at ya, she doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til she bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The bedroom turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' her mother comes in and... they rip you to pieces"

/Barack Diaries

Posted by: Frank G at February 28, 2009 10:40 AM (Aaspy)

54 She should put some tats on those guns a la Jeanine Garafallo. 

Posted by: Trish at February 28, 2009 10:48 AM (0U5Kd)

55 The horror, the horror!

Posted by: Col Kurtz at February 28, 2009 10:55 AM (LtIsn)

56 Jemima's ass is in.

Posted by: chicocano at February 28, 2009 11:14 AM (P2bg4)

57 She's a man baby!

Posted by: Mal at February 28, 2009 11:15 AM (Rmcmc)

58

 

She got a head like a diseased cantaloup.

 

Posted by: FREE PALESTAIN! at February 28, 2009 11:22 AM (TqRbr)

59

46 The Tribune article is fascinating. In addition to having heavenly toned arms from all her moqbara duels, Michelle is apparently both 'smart' and 'accomplished'. I would love to see the evidence for either adjective.

Well, she did get an affirmative action admission to Princeton, and she wrote a REALLY great race baiting senior paper.

What else do you need, racist!

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at February 28, 2009 11:28 AM (2+9Yx)

60

Sure, her arms are all Bird of Prey, but she's got an ass like a K-7 Battlecruiser.

Yoooooo!

Heard that Barack loved Revenge of the Sith. All that wookiee bootay, y'all know whut I'm talkin' um about hey? Oh yeah, baby, seems you got a life debt to work out, oh yeah. Talk to me in Shyriiwook, hoot nasty things in my gigantic ears...

<Rimshot >

But really, folks. MiCh'l Obama, nee' Duras, is one smoking hot forehead. And who can really blame Hussein for glomming on that tall, freakish, no-titty gigantor sasquatch-like Klingon impersonator? Lord knows that only fags like big titties, curves, and waists. Most real men go for the ripped muscular torsos and asses like sleeping bags filled with oatmeal.

 

 

 

 

Posted by: Inspector Asshole at February 28, 2009 11:35 AM (0o8d2)

61 I'm guessing Michelle's various body parts are going to keep the Morons in business for years.

Posted by: nikkolai at February 28, 2009 11:38 AM (G8d+5)

62 55

To.  Fucking.  Funny!

Posted by: catmman at February 28, 2009 11:38 AM (BCSpK)

63 We're seeing the holdover of "campaign Michelle". She looks to me like a woman who took off some weight to look good for the campaign. I think now that she's in there she'll start to balloon up to a good 250 lbs since the DemSM will photoshop her pics and tell us how "trim" she is.

Posted by: kbdabear at February 28, 2009 11:46 AM (miw86)

64 Who gives a fuck? She is an ugly bitch and deserves Barack, a motherfucking communist whore.

Posted by: izoneguy at February 28, 2009 11:49 AM (3k9TU)

65
You get arms like that by having handicap handles in the bathroom to help lift that fat ass off the toilet.

You get arms like that by lifting enormous Fred Flintstone style turkey legs to your mouth to eat to maintain said fat ass.

Eating the turkey legs sends you back to the toilet and the whole viscous cycle is set in motion.

Posted by: Dang at February 28, 2009 11:56 AM (xhwOW)

66 I haven't seen anything this repulsive since my honeymoon with Selma

Posted by: Sideshow Bob at February 28, 2009 11:56 AM (miw86)

67 So the DemSM tries to sell us this ox as a Tyra Banks beauty? I don't even think the moonbats beat their meat to pictures of her.

Posted by: kbdabear at February 28, 2009 11:59 AM (miw86)

68 I don't care about her arms or her oh-so-sophisticated style. She still reminds me of Patrick Ewing.

Posted by: Jones at February 28, 2009 12:06 PM (VkNlv)

69 I heard she was a pretty underrated left tackle in high school.

Posted by: nikkolai at February 28, 2009 12:06 PM (G8d+5)

70 I think she's absolutely Clydesdalian.

Posted by: scalpel at February 28, 2009 12:07 PM (MEIgM)

71 "Honey? Order up another couple trays of that lobster thermidor and a bag o' oats?"

Posted by: Frank G at February 28, 2009 12:09 PM (Aaspy)

72 While I've never met the woman, I imagine there's an air about her reminiscent of the heady funk one senses when one sits at the stage side railing of an inner city tittie bar.

Posted by: Fritz at February 28, 2009 12:15 PM (zfXmi)

73 Bernie Goldberg's new book has the best title ever --

A slobbering Love Affair:  The True (And Pathetic) Story of the Torrid Romance Between Barack Obama and the Mainstream Media.

David

Posted by: LifeTrek at February 28, 2009 12:16 PM (tJTIW)

74

#71 and #72

Winners!!

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at February 28, 2009 12:21 PM (2+9Yx)

75

I think now that she's in there she'll start to balloon up to a good 250 lbs since the DemSM will photoshop her pics and tell us how "trim" she is.

 

Sweet. Since she's allready in town, we could really use another DT to compliment Haynesworth .

Posted by: Dan Snyder at February 28, 2009 12:28 PM (9XXMp)

76 The media fixates on her arms because that's all there is about her that's decent. She has a mug that rivels Aunt Ester's....and that's not good.

Posted by: Twinks at February 28, 2009 12:31 PM (KGbOi)

77 Barry married a bigfeet...Gooney goo goo....bet she can catch a fish without a rod or reel...

What the fuck is Gooney Goo Goo???

Posted by: Buck Naked at February 28, 2009 12:42 PM (kmEp8)

78

Simple google search shows it is the smell of your nuts after a day on a ho.

http://tinyurl.com/dkvpct

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at February 28, 2009 12:48 PM (2+9Yx)

79

Hell, that at #80 is wrong.  Best I can tell it is either big feet or a drink or a stupid band.

http://tinyurl.com/dkeemf

Kemp

Posted by: kempermanx at February 28, 2009 12:52 PM (2+9Yx)

80

Michelle reminds me of one of the denizens of the Day of the Dead.  Of course her eating habbits are worse and they were patriots once.

Posted by: Thomas Jackson at February 28, 2009 12:56 PM (0Qynq)

81 17, 32, 45, 71,72 & 79 are up for vote, pick one.

Posted by: 7HEAVENS at February 28, 2009 12:56 PM (peS/x)

82 A Gooney goo goo is a Bigfoot.From an old Eddie Murphy routine.

Posted by: Mal at February 28, 2009 01:08 PM (Rmcmc)

83

President and Mrs. Narcissist.

I think her arms are well toned because she is not a woman or at least started out life as a female. She looks like a cross between Omarasa, Ru Paul and Lt. Worf

Must....feed... narcissism....daily

Posted by: ugly as homemade sin at February 28, 2009 01:19 PM (hphNR)

84

That ass is even too big for ME!

There ain't just junk in that trunk, she's got a few 50 lb. bags of Quikrete to help with traction!

Posted by: Sir Mix-a-Lot at February 28, 2009 01:34 PM (hKtiw)

85 With her husband setting the thermostat at 80, its not surprising that Michelle goes sleeveless.

Posted by: The Deciders at February 28, 2009 01:54 PM (PD1tk)

86 I'm going to eat your soul!

Posted by: Michelle Obama at February 28, 2009 02:09 PM (iafWn)

87

Come get some.

Posted by: Ash at February 28, 2009 02:25 PM (hKtiw)

88

I did read that along with complaining that it was hard for the Obama's to meet the $10,000 per year piano tutor bill for the kiddies, she had to share the cost of a fitness rainer with several friends.

 

What makes me think she has little in common with a lot of people.

Posted by: davod at February 28, 2009 02:39 PM (GUZAT)

89 cccpnn can't find any relative news on her tax fraud but damn, she has the best arms of any first lady in history. cnn needs to file for intellectual bankruptcy. and get a bailout for idiots from Barry Dumbass.

Posted by: lasertex at February 28, 2009 02:55 PM (GUp/q)

90 fumunda cheese

Posted by: lasertex at February 28, 2009 02:58 PM (GUp/q)

91

20 Those are definitely keg-stand arm's.

Yes, but how long could she suck the tap? That's what I want to know.

Posted by: armybrat at February 28, 2009 03:22 PM (gKERI)

92

I suppose you could look at Worf and see Tyra Banks, but I can't get that drunk without passing out.

 

Posted by: kbdabear at February 28, 2009 03:46 PM (7FgWm)

93 The beer goggles, they do NOTHING!

Posted by: tobias wolfcastle at February 28, 2009 05:18 PM (PD1tk)

94 Eva Braum had great looking arms too.

Posted by: jukin at February 28, 2009 05:19 PM (dCKOO)

95

The loose arm flaps increase drag during a drop resulting in delicate butterfly-like landings.

It's true, do I have to spell it out for ya?

Yeesh.

Posted by: ErikW at February 28, 2009 05:34 PM (hKtiw)

96 I for one welcome our new overlord's enormous Klingon buttocks.

Posted by: Jack Bauer's Evil Brother at February 28, 2009 05:54 PM (YA+mC)

97
It Has Come To Our Attention That Michelle Obama Has Nice GunsYeah, until her husband bans them...

Posted by: thebronze at February 28, 2009 06:06 PM (cwNXc)

98

Maybe she works out on the monkey bars? (Is that racist?)

Posted by: andycanuck at February 28, 2009 06:06 PM (TpHGM)

99
WTF, how about fugging preview button!!!!!!

Posted by: thebronze at February 28, 2009 06:06 PM (cwNXc)

100 She isn't the first "First lady" that Americans don't like so she shouldn't feel bad.

Posted by: silly at February 28, 2009 06:17 PM (zplc6)

101 It certainly says a lot about the Obama administration when the First Lady has bigger biceps than the President.

Posted by: Hellrider at February 28, 2009 06:46 PM (yXDML)

102 I bet she has Peggy Hill size feet.

Posted by: MrsPaulsFishSticks at February 28, 2009 06:48 PM (PBGAP)

103 She has no tits.  Only a commie faggot marries a chick with no tits.

Posted by: Me at February 28, 2009 07:02 PM (M3lbN)

104 Ya wanna see a full-on tongue bath for the First Wookie, try www.mrs-o.org it's to gag a maggot.

Posted by: Faye Kinnitt at February 28, 2009 08:44 PM (l1oyw)

105 and when do we start to hear about the "baby bump" [speaking of gaggin' a maggot]

Posted by: Faye Kinnitt at February 28, 2009 08:51 PM (l1oyw)

Posted by: aaabs at March 01, 2009 03:28 AM (6+R+o)

107 She looks like James Brown in a dress.

Posted by: Swamp Rabbit at March 01, 2009 04:11 AM (4J0sN)

108

I've never seen photgraphic evidence to indicate that Michelle Obama has a particularly large can. Michelle Obama is beautiful, in the sense that if I didn't care about her black-woman-angry-at-the-world attitude and the fact that her husband is an anti-American asswipe who is flushing America down the toilet I probably wouldn't mind getting it on with her. As it is, I care about more than just looks. But let's be grown ups, not asswipe lefties, and admit that the woman is nice looking - at least when she doesn't have that angry look on her face.

Posted by: Bubba at March 01, 2009 09:41 AM (Oi0e7)

109 @110:

Thanks, Bubba.  I have searched high and low for photographic evidence of Michelle's fat, humongous butt and I haven't been able to find any.  Sure, she's an unpleasant woman at best (whiny and ungrateful), but she has a nice figure - not skinny, but definitely not fat.

Plus, as a black female, I am quite offended (yeah, I know you don't care) at a lot of the comments about her butt.  She has a regular sized bottom for a black female.  Black people as a group also treasure the endowed butt as an attractive feature, and we women are proud of our non-flat  behinds and most of us never ask if "this dress makes our butt look big".  If we do, we would like an answer of yes. 

Yes, black men like big booties.  We also think y'all's women's butts are generally too unfortunately flat (we used to tease girls with flat butts when I was in high school), but to each his own.  Each culture has its own standards of beauty, which are usually not universal.  If Michelle had a flat rear area as some of you seem to prefer, we would find her figure less attractive.

Making fun of her "big" butt (which is really normal-sized) is like making fun of her thicker lips or broader nose or darker skin.  It usually comes with the melanin-level, folks.

Now, as to her face, sure, she's not naturally pretty, but I think some of you are exaggerating because you don't like her.  (I don't care for her either.)  She sometimes looks attractive if she doesn't smile too much.  (She does have a bad underbite.)

Anyway, the above is just my opinion based on my experience and upbringing, and I'm probably generalizing a bit, so take it for what it's worth.

Let the attacks begin (if anyone is still reading this thread).

Posted by: African Queen Conservative at March 01, 2009 10:21 AM (h6ixI)

110

111

No, I know big butts. She doesn't have one. She has an enormous pelvis with absolutley nothing up top to balance her pearlike behind. Actually, not pearlike, more of polarbear-like. Not peach-like, not curved at all. She has not got a big butt, a curved behind, anything like any normal black woman. She's got two uneven lawn bags filled with oatmeal and dead cats stapled to her back there.

As for her demeanor, she's angry like all Klingons since the Khitomer Accords. But I science-fictionally Star Trek nerdily digress.

The thing is the press is being absolutley lickspittle Soviet-era Pravda on her and her husband. It is sickening. It is offensive and insulting. Much more so than suggesting that her dress in the inauguration was made out of couch upholstery and lined with Howard Johnson meeting room drapery. Or mentioning her last grape-colored cone-shaped dress as being from the Grimace collection.

You obviously think that race plays some sort of role somewhere - it doesn't. Only for far lefters does race play a factor in anything, and for them it makes them unable to say anything wrong or critical (even in jest) - they are, as you can see in the press, patronizing. 

The fact is Michelle Obama and Barack Obama are hideous not because of their skin or their smiles or grimaces or frowns - but because of their sick, horrifyingly inhumane beliefs. They are as hideous as Teddy Kennedy and as vile as Sean Penn, and as bigoted and evil as Janeane Garafalo. They're all vicious, evil, and nasty bits of work.

And the press is fawning over her arms like a society matron admiring a mutt's collar while it shits in her yard, barely masking their sneers and sense of forced fair play.

Posted by: Inspector Asshole at March 01, 2009 11:22 AM (0o8d2)

111

See, I make fun of her because she is my equal. The press patronize her and make entire investigative reports on her upper arms because the press feels they and their freinds are superior to everyone but they simply must say pretty, insincere things about their mascots to show their "enlightenment".

Me, I treat her like I would any other citizen that spoke to me the way she speaks to me.

 

Posted by: Inspector Asshole at March 01, 2009 11:26 AM (0o8d2)

112 I won't argue with your assessment of her body.  I  still think she looks okay/good and her butt looks normal to me.

But I do agree that inside she seems to be an ugly woman, angry, ungraceful and ungrateful.  And I don't see how her fashion sense is so fabulous.  It is at best, okay, and that thing she wore to the inauguration!  Whoever allowed her to wear it must secretly hate her.

And the fawning by the press is unseemly and disturbing.  Michelle's arms?  Really???  Are these people serious?  I can't believe what the MSM has turned into.  This is quite disgraceful.  After all, this is CNN, not Star or People Magazine.

And while she has nice arms, they are not spectacular.  And she's the first lady for goodness sakes'.  They are seriously demeaning the office (I know that's not the appropriate word) of the First Lady.

And to whoever referred to Laura Bush as Jack Nicholson-like, to me she is a very pleasant looking woman, not classically beautiful, but with a lovely, cute face.  And she just exuded grace and class, unlike the current 1st lady.

Posted by: African Queen Conservative at March 01, 2009 11:54 AM (h6ixI)

113

If she was a bit heavier, she'd look 120% better, at least to me. Her ass probably ain't bad, she's HIDING it in those drapery/cone/tent dresses. So it looks like it's angular and made up lumps and chunks.

Most women I know even those overweight know that putting a cone over their hips at about rib level looks ridiculous. Sure, some should avoid spandex, leotards, tight jeans, and miniskirts. Sure, some should consider a subtle belt or girdle, but when you have a stance like you just jumped off a Clydesdale after a 40 mile gallop riding backwards, drawing attention to your tiny toothpick-like boy-arms is the wrong way to make your ass look normal. It makes it look like you got a melted shopping cart full of bowling balls up in there.

What she needs is thinner fabric all around instead of that thick Edward the Eighth brocade/upholstery, a belt, some flowing sleeves, and maybe a lower neckline.

Another thing she needs is to smile and enjoy being an American and start to fall in love with her country a lot more instead of looking like everything around her is covered in liquid shit.

Posted by: Inspector Asshole at March 01, 2009 12:12 PM (0o8d2)

114 The first Clydesdale is about the ugliest bitch I've ever seen

so what if she has nice arms doesn't make her face not look like a horse

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