January 30, 2011

In Honor Of Dick Cheney's Birthday... (tmi3rd)
— Open Blogger

We would be completely remiss if, on the birthday of our Dark Lord, we did not link to the most linked thread in AoSHQ history. Chuck Norris, John Bolton's mustache, Rosie O'Donnell's fat rolls... they all whimper and kneel in supplication to one of the finest vice-presidents to ever serve our country.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Vice President. May there be many more for you, and thank you for your service to our country.

Below the fold is Ace's contribution to get what may be the greatest thread in this blog's history... enjoy! 1 While on a sex-spree in a Tijuana whorehouse, Dick Cheney used a live cougar as a condom.

The bodycount was fourteen Mexican whores and one cougar.

In Tijuana, they refer to this as "The Night of the Sodomizing Cougar-Man."

Dick Cheney refers to it as "last Thursday."

Posted by: ace on December 1, 2005 08:22 PM

Posted by: Open Blogger at 12:51 PM | Comments (143)
Post contains 163 words, total size 1 kb.

1 DIck Cheney only has one chance for a heart donor and that's if Chuck Norris dies.

Posted by: whatmeworry? at January 30, 2011 12:54 PM (SyIZ+)

2 Dick Cheney is a Patriot. That is why the Left reviles him. Happy Birthday Mr. Vice President!

Posted by: Nighthawk at January 30, 2011 12:55 PM (vitGv)

3 Dick Cheney would have been first but he was pulling Mubarak's chain.

Posted by: whatmeworry? at January 30, 2011 12:56 PM (SyIZ+)

4 Cheney's heart actually stopped beating in 2005, Death has just been too much of a pussy to come get him.

Posted by: kev at January 30, 2011 12:57 PM (u522y)

5 DIck Cheney only has one chance for a heart donor and that's if Chuck Norris dies.

*coughs*

Posted by: Pat Caddell at January 30, 2011 12:58 PM (Ew1k4)

6

Is this the Pro Bowl thread?

Can't be, no way Dick Cheney watches the Pro Bowl.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at January 30, 2011 12:59 PM (A0VTZ)

7 You want to know the difference between Cheney's cock and the Rock of Gibralter?

Not a damn thing, that's what.

Posted by: Thinking things over at January 30, 2011 12:59 PM (yARWD)

8 Dick Cheney was baptized in the Rio Grande on Cinco de Quatro, is Honorary Governor of the Seven Extra States, speaks fluent Austrian, and fucking bows to no man.

Posted by: Bourbonista! at January 30, 2011 12:59 PM (w1IIu)

9

Happy Birthday VEEP!  Dick Cheney...one Magnificent Bastard!!  lol

Posted by: Rick554 at January 30, 2011 01:00 PM (wsClK)

10 Pat Caddell says he remembers that night well. It actually occured at The Long Bar, which was easily mistaken as a whorehouse. Pat said: "It was then and there that I realized that Cheney was just muy macho than me...maybe the only sobering moment in TJ that night."

Posted by: PC14 at January 30, 2011 01:03 PM (XB+w8)

11 Happy Birthday, Mr. Vice-President, and may you have many more!

Posted by: ya2daup at January 30, 2011 01:04 PM (yRrAd)

12 When might we expect the VP to take young Master Soetoro to the woodshed to administer a little birchin' learnin' regarding his "actions" on Egypt?

Posted by: ya2daup at January 30, 2011 01:07 PM (yRrAd)

13 Be careful with the Cheney criticisms, M&Ms. I once mentioned he had a hair out of place.

Posted by: Harry Wittington at January 30, 2011 01:07 PM (bvXGR)

14 Hi tmi3rd!

Thanks for the props and cheerful birthday wishes to the barbed cock of whose name shall not be spoken.

Posted by: NC Ref at January 30, 2011 01:08 PM (/izg2)

15 Remember: The Mighty Warcock's birthday is still 1 week away.

Posted by: Hessian Session at January 30, 2011 01:08 PM (QtEH+)

16 In Tijuana, they refer to this as: "La noche del hombre-puma sodomizar."

Posted by: moi at January 30, 2011 01:09 PM (Ez4Ql)

17

One day seems a little small time for DC. 

Posted by: Delta Smelt at January 30, 2011 01:09 PM (A0VTZ)

18 Dick Cheney was offered the heart of a cougar.  He promptly ate it.

HB Mr. VP.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at January 30, 2011 01:11 PM (xdHzq)

19 All the hobos left Wyoming when Dick Cheney mentioned he likes hobo stew.

Posted by: GnuBreed at January 30, 2011 01:14 PM (bvXGR)

20 ok, you're Cheney, you need a heart transplant within 48 hours or you will die. A heart is available from recently deceased Andrew Sullivan. Question: would you rather be buried or cremated..?

Posted by: mallfly at January 30, 2011 01:15 PM (W6bJb)

21

In Mexico, 'Dick Cheney' translates roughly to - "He who has El Chupacabra in his Pants.".

¡Feliz Cumpleaños!

Posted by: garrett at January 30, 2011 01:16 PM (lJQmo)

22 Hillary was shown on CNN for a snippet or two. Damn, but that old girl is looking more and more like Miss Piggy! Right down to the porcine smile.

Posted by: CoolCzech at January 30, 2011 01:17 PM (tJjm/)

23 Pat Caddell also noted:"A lot of guys (girls too) have Eaten Breakfast at The Long Bar. But to see Senor Cheney do this....Ay, Caramba!"

Posted by: PC14 at January 30, 2011 01:18 PM (XB+w8)

24 Dick Cheney put his cock in my oatmeal...and I thanked him for it!

Posted by: Wilford Brimley at January 30, 2011 01:18 PM (lJQmo)

25 Dick Cheney's heart actually stopped beating in 2009. But the backflow from his cock after his skyscraping erection from Teddy Kennedy keeling over will last at least another twenty years.

Posted by: Shooter McGavin at January 30, 2011 01:20 PM (cxGtL)

26

Back in the sixties Dick Cheney had sex with Marilyn Monroe. To this day Cheney breaks out in laughter when someone implies it was drugs that killed her.

Posted by: CrustyB at January 30, 2011 01:20 PM (qzgbP)

27

I never said, "I want to be alone." -

 I said, "I want to be alone with Dick Cheney's War Cock."

Posted by: Greta Garbo at January 30, 2011 01:20 PM (lJQmo)

28 Dick Cheney almost made God change His mind about ghey marriage.


Posted by: Leo Ladenson at January 30, 2011 01:20 PM (mAm+G)

29
This was more funny when we liked Dick Cheney.

Posted by: Soothsayer the Edutainer at January 30, 2011 01:20 PM (/AACO)

30 Dick Cheney uses high-speed rail lines as a back scratcher. Okay, that may need a bit of work....

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 30, 2011 01:20 PM (9Lm5R)

31 Jesus says "What would Dick Chaney do".

Posted by: sTevo at January 30, 2011 01:21 PM (VMcEw)

32
Really?


Posted by: Soothsayer the Edutainer at January 30, 2011 01:22 PM (/AACO)

33 Dick Cheney makes Richard Simmons look like a sissy.   What?

Posted by: You're doing it wrong at January 30, 2011 01:25 PM (P18+/)

34 The Lucayan Indians were terrified when they saw the white sails of three ships approaching their island in 1492, because they knew that it meant that the race that would beget Cheney had discovered the New World.

Posted by: Cicero at January 30, 2011 01:28 PM (KGCtJ)

35

Watching Fox News Sunday....Chris Wallace actually asked John Boehner about crying (gee no one has done that yet) and smoking?

Give it a rest.

His answer on the latter was good though.  "Leave me alone"

Posted by: Delta Smelt at January 30, 2011 01:29 PM (A0VTZ)

36 Dick Cheney doesn't have birthdays....birthdays have Dick Cheney's. 

Happy Dick Cheney Birthday!

Posted by: Tami at January 30, 2011 01:29 PM (VuLos)

37 Dick Cheney uses the skull of a Predator to hold his toothbrush and toothpaste. His coat rack came from LV-426.

Posted by: eman at January 30, 2011 01:30 PM (n0WLs)

38 People think the tea party movement has been a grassroots uprising of millions of individuals taking a bold stand against rampant government controls and spending.  That's just the way our brains have chosen to interpret the incomprehensible. In fact, the whole thing has been one long, sweaty--strangely tender--axle grease lubed tea-bagging of the original Communist manifesto by Dick Cheney.

Posted by: Shooter McGavin at January 30, 2011 01:30 PM (cxGtL)

39

Cheney will celebrate his 70th birthday by swimming from San Francisco to Alcatraz handcuffed, shackled, and towing a 10,000 lb. boat containing the body of Jack LaLanne.

Posted by: Cicero at January 30, 2011 01:32 PM (KGCtJ)

40 One day the catapult system on the the Kitty hawk broke down. Luckily a certain Vice President was on board.

Posted by: eman at January 30, 2011 01:33 PM (n0WLs)

41 31
Dick Cheney uses high-speed rail lines as a back scratcher.

Okay, that may need a bit of work....

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 30, 2011 06:20 PM (9Lm5R)



Throw in a reference to chemjeff, and you'll have a winner for the ONT....  ;-p

Posted by: TV channel for Liberal Idiots at January 30, 2011 01:33 PM (/izg2)

42 damn sock.

Posted by: NC Ref at January 30, 2011 01:34 PM (/izg2)

43
Can I just copy & paste the ones I wrote 5 years ago?

Posted by: Soothsayer the Edutainer at January 30, 2011 01:35 PM (/AACO)

44 D.C. was the inspiration when John Williams composed the Imperial March.

Posted by: Reactionary at January 30, 2011 01:35 PM (4nbyM)

45 I hope Dick Cheney reads this thread so he knows how much we worship him. 

Posted by: Y-not, Cheney acolyte at January 30, 2011 01:38 PM (pW2o8)

46 Right now Dick Cheney is sitting atop the Great Pyramid at Giza, enjoying a fine Cuban, and a cigar.

Posted by: eman at January 30, 2011 01:38 PM (n0WLs)

47 Like he reads AoSHQ? Still, in the off chance he does deign to visit these putrid pages, I wish him all the best, and sincere thanks for saving the world. Happy Birthday Right Honourable Sir.

Posted by: TrueNorthist at January 30, 2011 01:40 PM (RQtDB)

48 48 Right now Dick Cheney is sitting atop the Great Pyramid at Giza, enjoying a fine Cuban, Cougar and a cigar.

FIFY.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 30, 2011 01:41 PM (c0A3e)

49

Could I interest you in a facial? 

Posted by: Dick Cheney at January 30, 2011 01:42 PM (S2GiP)

50

Throw in a reference to chemjeff, and you'll have a winner for the ONT....  ;-p

Posted by: TV channel for Liberal Idiots at January 30, 2011 06:33 PM (/izg2)


Dick Cheney uses ChemJeff as a back scratcher.


MMmmmmm, still doesn't work.

Posted by: Rob at January 30, 2011 01:42 PM (4q6A5)

51 The real reason Supertrain failed: Dick Cheney's cock made it look too wimpy.

Posted by: Trimegistus at January 30, 2011 01:42 PM (LioRe)

52 Dick Cheney can suck the farts out of a bald Eagle in flight! He can drop a deer just by thinking of killing it. He uses welding wire as dental floss. He doesn't need a welder, he just stares at the steel and it melts.

Posted by: TrueNorthist at January 30, 2011 01:47 PM (RQtDB)

53

MMmmmmm, still doesn't work.

Posted by: Rob at January 30, 2011 06:42 PM (4q6A5)



That's because you didn't say it right.  MMM...MMM...MMM...the barb-ed cock of Satan.

Posted by: some random toll-booth operator on the River Styx at January 30, 2011 01:48 PM (/izg2)

54

You guys REALLY think he can tell how much he is loved by years and years of threads about his dick?

Hell yes!

Happy B-Day Mr. Vice President....you are a great American.




Posted by: pam at January 30, 2011 01:49 PM (uDwml)

55

@2: "Dick Cheney is a Patriot. That is why the Left reviles him."

Little weak on the 2nd Amendment for a patriot. Kinda pro-spending, too.

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at January 30, 2011 01:51 PM (S2GiP)

56

Right now Dick Cheney is sitting atop the Great Pyramid at Giza, enjoying a fine Cuban, and a cigar.

Rare with a port wine reduction sauce

Posted by: beedubya at January 30, 2011 01:52 PM (AnTyA)

57

It is a loosely guarded secret at the NSA that the cause of UFO crashes in the desert Southwest is the gravitational interference encountered when Dick Cheney has morning wood. 

Posted by: garrett at January 30, 2011 01:53 PM (lJQmo)

58 Happy Birthday Mr. Vice President! 

If you need a heart (only for sustenance of course) or a liver, I'm your man - I'm just keeping them warm for you!

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 30, 2011 01:54 PM (c0A3e)

59 The first time Dick Cheney went hunting he was attacked by a 1500 lb. Grizzly bear. The second time Dick Cheney went hunting he brought along his lucky bear claw.

Posted by: eman at January 30, 2011 01:54 PM (n0WLs)

60

I saw Dick Cheney naked once in the Men's Locker Room.

Now I have to wear these funny glasses.

Posted by: Lt. Cmdr. Geordi LaForge at January 30, 2011 01:55 PM (lJQmo)

61

Little weak on the 2nd Amendment for a patriot. Kinda pro-spending, too.


But still much better than the alternatives, right?  I too hate voting for the least-bad option though.

Posted by: NC Ref at January 30, 2011 01:56 PM (/izg2)

62 Right now Dick Cheney is sitting atop the Great Pyramid at Giza, enjoying a fine Cuban, and a cigar. Rare with a port wine reduction sauce Posted by: beedubya at January 30, 2011 06:52 PM (AnTyA) I was thinking more along the lines of a Cuban cowgirl.

Posted by: eman at January 30, 2011 01:56 PM (n0WLs)

63

What the hell does Billy Bob Thornton have to do with football??

Posted by: laceyunderalls wondering if I'm the only one watching the Pro-Bowl at January 30, 2011 02:02 PM (021jo)

64

Dick Cheney doesn't always drink, but when he does, he prefers the blood of communists.

Right now Dick Cheney is sitting atop the Great Pyramid at Giza, enjoying a fine Cuban

He prefers his Castro meat rare . . . he prefers his Castros extinct.

Posted by: The Q at January 30, 2011 02:02 PM (AXHCj)

65 Dick Cheney could make Kratos love cheerleaders.

Posted by: The Q at January 30, 2011 02:03 PM (AXHCj)

66
One more than one occasion, Dick Cheney has used his magnificent WarCock to intimidate his opponents into submission.  Just ask Hillary.

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at January 30, 2011 02:04 PM (ZHsNw)

67 Upthread, there was a question about whether or not Cheney would be aware that we did this thread? I have it on EXTREMELY good authority that he gets word of it, and that he read the last one. Along the same lines, Teh Fred used to wind down his evenings on the campaign trail by reading Ace.

Posted by: tmi3rd at January 30, 2011 02:05 PM (WRtsc)

68 Pro Bowl! 

No Jimmah or Howie or Michael Strahan, though.  However, Terry has a helluva shirt on. 

Oh, and would someone please get rid of Tony Siragusa?  Blast him into space or something.  The man is unwatchable. 

Posted by: Y-not at January 30, 2011 02:05 PM (pW2o8)

69 Posted by: laceyunderalls wondering if I'm the only one watching the Pro-Bowl

I'm watching it too.

Posted by: Y-not at January 30, 2011 02:06 PM (pW2o8)

70 Dick Cheney could make Brian love Vic.

Posted by: Ed Anger at January 30, 2011 02:06 PM (7+pP9)

71
The only time Rosie O'Donnell ever squealed like a girl was when she saw Dick Cheney's love stick, the marauding WarCock of lore. 

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at January 30, 2011 02:06 PM (ZHsNw)

72 Because he heard it was his birthday, Harry S. Plinkett sent his last emergency box of pizza rolls to Dick Cheney, and had a fruit roll-up instead.

Posted by: Revenge of the Son of Jar Jar at January 30, 2011 02:08 PM (QtEH+)

73 Darth Vader has a Dick Cheney poster on his door.

Posted by: eman at January 30, 2011 02:08 PM (n0WLs)

74
Lame ass beginning at the Pro Bowl.  How about some Sani-Flush.

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at January 30, 2011 02:08 PM (ZHsNw)

75 Dick Cheney could make JEA love Reagan.

Posted by: Ed Anger at January 30, 2011 02:08 PM (7+pP9)

76 Goo Goo Dolls.  Really

Dick Cheney hates the Goo Goo Dolls.

Posted by: Y-not at January 30, 2011 02:08 PM (pW2o8)

77
Dick Cheney humped S E Cupp before she was S E Cupp with the magnificent ass.

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at January 30, 2011 02:09 PM (ZHsNw)

78 65

What the hell does Billy Bob Thornton have to do with football??

He's an actor with prime roles in such blockbuster movies as On Deadly Ground, U Turn, and Mr. Woodcock.   What more of a link do you need with football?

Posted by: Kratos, wondering why people are watching the Pro Bowl when you can watch Burn Notice at January 30, 2011 02:10 PM (c0A3e)

79
Hillary prays to Allah every night to be blessed with a Dick Cheney look-a-like WarCock.

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at January 30, 2011 02:10 PM (ZHsNw)

80 On the pretty darned good chance you're reading this, sir, happy birthday and thank you.  P.S.  I still think you are smokin' hot.

love,
peaches

Posted by: Peaches at January 30, 2011 02:10 PM (zxpIo)

81 67 Dick Cheney could make Kratos love cheerleaders.

Hey, lets not get too carried away!  Cheney is only a deity, not a Deity-Deity. 

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 30, 2011 02:11 PM (c0A3e)

82 Is there going to be some sort of football game played soon?  I mean, just HIT somebody.

Posted by: NC Ref at January 30, 2011 02:11 PM (/izg2)

83
Cheney looked a lot better with the extra fifty or so pounds.  He now looks more like the rest of my senior citizen friends, emaciated and horny.

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at January 30, 2011 02:12 PM (ZHsNw)

84 84 Is there going to be some sort of football game played soon?  I mean, just HIT somebody.

I was told that was ghey. 

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at January 30, 2011 02:13 PM (c0A3e)

85

 Right now Dick Cheney is sitting atop the Great Pyramid at Giza, enjoying a fine Cuban, and a cigar.

...and the Sphynx was heard muttering that Cheney would probably never call

Posted by: beedubya at January 30, 2011 02:13 PM (AnTyA)

86
Posted by: meleager
@30 that was more funny when pissants could compete
==========================

You know what's even more funny? Doing Dick Cheney was my idea.

And know what else is funny? I posted the very first Cool Fact About Dick Cheney on AoS.


"Dick Cheney is so manly that one of his daughters is a man."




Posted by: Soothsayer the Edutainer at January 30, 2011 02:13 PM (/AACO)

87 Who was that 'mo band playing during the musical extravaganza?  Because nothing says "smashmouth football" like a big, glitzy musical number, amiright?

Posted by: Peaches at January 30, 2011 02:14 PM (zxpIo)

88 Anyone watching this jerkoff Assange on 60 minutes?  Why doesn't Steve Kroft stab him through the eye with his pen?

Posted by: Ombudsman at January 30, 2011 02:14 PM (c1oyg)

89 Goo Goo Dolls?  WTF?  Happy Birthday to our Dark Lord Darth Cheney.  He may be from Montana but Wyoming was created so his warcock could have room to breathe.

Posted by: Truck Monkey at January 30, 2011 02:15 PM (yQWNf)

90
The pre-game faggotry was well.......not manly.

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at January 30, 2011 02:15 PM (ZHsNw)

91 Dick Cheney could get rid of Tami's labrador's rash. 

And give it to Jane Fonda. Just by looking at her.

Posted by: Y-not at January 30, 2011 02:15 PM (pW2o8)

92 The phrase "Dick Cheney" officially contributes to a climate of hate.

Posted by: FUBAR at January 30, 2011 02:16 PM (McG46)

93 I'm going to the Disneyland.

Posted by: Newly-freed Egyptian MB Prisoner at January 30, 2011 02:16 PM (VXBR1)

94
Dick Cheney was offered the role of Rambo, but casting decided he was not effeminate enough for the role.

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at January 30, 2011 02:16 PM (ZHsNw)

95 So how long will it take for Mike Vick to toss Matt Ryan to the hounds for a few extra snaps?

Posted by: NC Ref at January 30, 2011 02:16 PM (/izg2)

96 I hope Dick Cheney likes football, because the other thread is dead. 

Posted by: Y-not at January 30, 2011 02:17 PM (pW2o8)

97 Mike Vick has evil eyes. 

Posted by: Y-not at January 30, 2011 02:17 PM (pW2o8)

98 How ghey are those uniforms? 

Posted by: Truck Monkey at January 30, 2011 02:18 PM (yQWNf)

99
Men travel to Tijuana to see the donkey show, but Dick Cheney went to Tijuana and frightened the donkey with his magnificent WarCock.

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at January 30, 2011 02:18 PM (ZHsNw)

100 Kris with a K?  Really?

Is this Pro Bowl in honor of the DADT repeal or something? 

Posted by: Y-not at January 30, 2011 02:18 PM (pW2o8)

101
Where's Kate Smith when you need her?  Oh, you don't know Kate?

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at January 30, 2011 02:19 PM (ZHsNw)

102 Is Hawaii officially teh ghey state now?

Posted by: Peaches at January 30, 2011 02:20 PM (zxpIo)

Posted by: Y-not at January 30, 2011 02:21 PM (pW2o8)

104 Happy Birthday Dick Cheney!
In several days, he will have completed the transfer of his awesome power to Liz Cheney and she will run for VP in the Bolton or DeMint administration.  Liz is getting princess Leia hair bun re-do at this moment in order to make the full transition to power. 

The greatest moment at CPAC EVER, was when Liz introduced an old friend who tore the house down.  I was there, it was fantastic!

Posted by: TR at January 30, 2011 02:21 PM (iBdWy)

Posted by: The Q at January 30, 2011 02:21 PM (AXHCj)

106
Here's Kate at her best!

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at January 30, 2011 02:21 PM (ZHsNw)

107

104 Is Hawaii officially teh ghey state now?

You tell me.

Posted by: Barry Soetero of Hawaii at January 30, 2011 02:22 PM (AXHCj)

108
Rush Limbaugh is suited up playing defensive tackle.

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at January 30, 2011 02:24 PM (ZHsNw)

109 Dick Cheney spoke at my high school graduation in Cody Wyoming in 1984. There were no survivors. Happy birthday to a great American.

Posted by: Pug Mahon at January 30, 2011 02:24 PM (Wb1g8)

110 You know what would be really awesome?  If another one of those killer Chilean tsunamis came along and ncj singlehandedly saved the day by moving everyone to higher ground. 

Posted by: Peaches at January 30, 2011 02:25 PM (zxpIo)

111 Do I get FFL points for Gonzalez's points today?

Posted by: NC Ref at January 30, 2011 02:26 PM (/izg2)

112 Run white boy, run! 


sloppy sloppy

Posted by: Y-not at January 30, 2011 02:28 PM (pW2o8)

113

Dick Cheney would sleep under the Gurkha-scrotum blanket he made; but Dick Cheney never sleeps.

Posted by: Black Mamba at January 30, 2011 02:28 PM (tSxym)

114 112 You know what would be really awesome?  If another one of those killer Chilean tsunamis came along and ncj singlehandedly saved the day by moving everyone to higher ground. 

Posted by: Peaches at January 30, 2011 07:25 PM (zxpIo)


If the asteroid passes through the keyhole, we can work with NCJ in 2015 to clear the coast before it crashes into the Pacific Ocean.

Posted by: aos zombie of Neal DeGrasse Tyson at January 30, 2011 02:28 PM (/izg2)

115 Dick Cheney likes to grab Nancy Pelosi by the ass and by the neck and tie the stretched out lengths of skin into a knot so complicated Skynet craps motor oil just thinking about it.

Posted by: eman at January 30, 2011 02:29 PM (n0WLs)

116 As much as the Pro Bowl blows, I can think of worse things than being in Honolulu right now...

Posted by: tmi3rd at January 30, 2011 02:31 PM (WRtsc)

117
This is the Gurkha khukuri Dick Cheney carries underarm.

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at January 30, 2011 02:32 PM (ZHsNw)

118 "The phrase "Dick Cheney" officially contributes to a climate of hate." Oh, hell yeah. That's why, whenever I want to piss off liberals, I tell them how much I like Dick Cheney. They just look at me like they think I'm from another planet.

Posted by: nerdygirl at January 30, 2011 02:33 PM (62TF+)

119
One more time:  Cheney's khukuri.

Posted by: Fish the Impaler at January 30, 2011 02:34 PM (ZHsNw)

120 Anyone remember this version?

Posted by: Florida at January 30, 2011 02:35 PM (piMMO)

121 O/T: But via Althouse, time for us all to start eating a lot of Chick-fil-A.

They sell chicken. They should sell to whoever wants to buy the chicken, but they shouldn't be expected to be corporate sponsor of anyone's agenda. Shit, does EVERYTHING have to be political?

Posted by: nickless at January 30, 2011 02:36 PM (qdtoY)

122 This thread displeased Dick Cheney.

Posted by: Black Mamba at January 30, 2011 02:52 PM (tSxym)

123 The murder rate is 0% in Dick Cheney's neighborhood because homicide committed suicide when he moved in.

Posted by: Average Joe at January 30, 2011 02:56 PM (liBQN)

124 Happy Birthday, Mr, Cheney.  Although the date is probably arbitrary, as we suspect he was assembled in a workshop.  And then the craftsmen were killed, just to be cautious. 

Posted by: Todd at January 30, 2011 03:02 PM (9TcI8)

125 Ghurkas are afraid of Dick Cheney.

Posted by: Holger at January 30, 2011 03:03 PM (YxGud)

126 When God needs advice, He calls Dick Cheney.

Posted by: Holger at January 30, 2011 03:05 PM (YxGud)

127 Sharks have a week dedicated to Dick Cheney

Posted by: VA Gator at January 30, 2011 03:09 PM (uZdxA)

128 O/T: I'd like to thank the AFC for bothering to show up for the game...

Posted by: tmi3rd at January 30, 2011 03:18 PM (WRtsc)

129 One more time:  Cheney's khukuri.

Actually, that's his toothpick

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 30, 2011 03:23 PM (R88Ry)

130 The new Fords are built Dick Cheney tough.

Posted by: USS Diversity at January 30, 2011 03:25 PM (DLxD/)

131 He now looks more like the rest of my senior citizen friends, emaciated and horny.

Probably the last hippie he ate gave him indigestion.

Posted by: OregonMuse at January 30, 2011 03:25 PM (R88Ry)

132 Dick Cheney's junk fondles you.

Posted by: whatmeworry? at January 30, 2011 03:27 PM (SyIZ+)

133 Just on the off-chance that he might see this, Happy Birthday, Mr Cheney, sir.  We are not worthy.


Posted by: Leonie Alemann at January 30, 2011 03:39 PM (Amnw4)

134 129 When God needs advice, He calls Dick Cheney.

Posted by: Holger at January 30, 2011 08:05 PM (YxGud)

Dick Cheney doesn't usually take the call.

 

Dick Cheney fears nothing... except Dick Cheney.  Yet Dick Cheney knows no fear.

It's pretty fucked up.

Posted by: Black Mamba at January 30, 2011 03:45 PM (tSxym)

135

Dick Cheney eats true grits for breakfast!

 

Posted by: estimator at January 30, 2011 04:09 PM (T1p7o)

136

When Cheney was in first grade, his teacher held a daily story time, where each youngster would share his or her favorite nursery rhyme. The other students began their stories, "Once upon a time...."

When his turn came young Cheney began his story, “Now you sons-a-bitches ain’t gonna believe this….”

 

Posted by: oneyedman at January 30, 2011 05:07 PM (baWfS)

137 Now that I have it on good authority that THE (former) Vice President, Mr Dick Cheney, might occasion this thread and just might read some of the comments. So I would just like to add that I would follow this great man into the teeth of hell wearing nothing but presto log underwear. He once killed a man simply by sneering at him. He caused that Chilean mine to collapse just by farting, thousands of miles away. Air Force two had to be stripped bare when he was flying, simply due to the weight of his testicles. Mature Giant Redwood trees wilt with envy when he stops to relieve himself in the woods.

Posted by: TrueNorthist at January 30, 2011 05:09 PM (RQtDB)

138 Dick Cheney read about Charlie Sheen's latest sexcapade and belted out a roaring "AMATEUR!!!!"

Posted by: Good Dick is not hard to find at January 30, 2011 05:51 PM (RSfE/)

139 Dicks warcock has such mass that his balls were once small asteroids that got caught in its gravity.

Posted by: Berserker at January 30, 2011 06:04 PM (gWHrG)

140 Jesus says "What would Dick Chaney do".
Posted by: sTevo at January 30, 2011 06:21 PM

So does Satan.

Posted by: arhooley, conflicted Californian at January 30, 2011 06:56 PM (38Say)

141 Shit, I missed it because I was still reading Peggy Noonan columns.

Posted by: Mr. Barky at January 30, 2011 08:07 PM (44lSi)

142 I collected my faves from the previous AoSHQ threads here:

http://alturl.com/tp569

My own submission:

If Chuck Norris is after you, you have no chance of survival… Unless you ask Dick Cheney to hide you. Then again, he might blindfold you and take you to ‘an undisclosed location’… That turns out to be Chuck Norris’ house. Dick Cheney is humorous in that way.

Now thanks to the comments here, I have more work to do. Thanks a bunch.

Posted by: Scott at January 31, 2011 12:01 AM (ACWui)

Posted by: hyde at February 05, 2011 12:35 AM (45SgX)

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