May 26, 2005

I'm Such a Reality TV Whore It Makes Me Sick
— Ace

And I'm still an 80's music geek, too, so this is up my alley.

Again from Crosblog, which I linked for the ghost-whore story, a new show on NBC where "veteran" (read: washed-up) bands come to perform their signature songs, and a "current" song as well (read: horrible balads by 'N Sync), competing for prizes.

First up: Loverboy vs. Flock of Seagulls. Oh, and Arrested Development (I seem to remember them) and Tiffany.

I know Billy Squier really doesn't want to do this, but come on, man. I've gots to hear Everybody Wants You or In the Dark again, baby.

Oh, and... In case you haven't heard, INXS is lowering themselves to auditioning a new lead singer for their band on a show called Rock Star.

Yeah. I'll watch it. Damn straight I'll watch it.

Co-hosted by another reality TV favorite, Dave Navarro of Jane's Addiction, Red Hot Chili Peppers, that show with Carmen Electra, and of course Celebrity Poker Showdown.

Posted by: Ace at 09:45 AM | Comments (56)
Post contains 181 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I hate reality shows, but this is a GREAT idea.

Especially if Tiffany gets naked again. Man, that Playboy "comeback" shoot was fannn-freakin-tastic.

Dave at Garfield Ridge

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge at May 26, 2005 09:46 AM (rV7Dk)

2 I really want to see a Tiffany and Debbie Gibson smackdown myself.

I would root for Tiffany, of course, but it would still be fun to watch.

Posted by: Slublog at May 26, 2005 09:51 AM (VaL8O)

3 I read somewhere that Gene Simmons is supposed to have his own reality show where he's out to create the next heavy metal/rock band. I'd watch that just to watch him.

Posted by: SithChick at May 26, 2005 09:51 AM (frMWP)

4 First off, Gene Simmons would have to create a real heavy metal/rock band in the first place, somthing which he has never done

And I thought the singer for Loverboy died? And will this bring back the Flock of Seagulls haircut? tune

Posted by: brak at May 26, 2005 09:54 AM (OuLOj)

5 It was the bassist for Loverboy who checked out -- he was washed overboard while sailing... don't remember if the body was ever recovered.

"She used to call him Loverboy, but now she just calls him chum."

Posted by: WarrenM at May 26, 2005 10:02 AM (Z8KgB)

6 Loverboy's "Everybody's Working for the Weekend" always cracks me up. You'd think by the title and that line in the chorus that it would be a song about getting through the 9-to-5 grind so you can party all weekend. Instead it's just a mishmash of various cliches that don't seem to have anything to do with each other:

Everyone's watching to see what you will do
Everyone's looking at you
Everyone's wondering, will you come out tonight
Everyone's trying to get it right, get it right
Everybody's working for the weekend
Everybody wants a little romance
Everybody's goin' off the deep end
Everybody needs a second chance
You want a piece of my heart
You better start from start
You wanna be in the show
Come on baby lets go
Everyone's looking to see if it was you
Everyone wants you to come through
Everyone's hoping it'll all work out
Everyone's waiting they're holding out

What a mess. But it sounded good at the time and was a fun song.

I saw them live a few years back with a friend. They actually sounded pretty good, but we both laughed at how "normal" they all looked. If you saw any of them walking down the street it wouldn't cross your mind that they were anything special (and, yes, washed-up rock stars are special in their way).

Posted by: Bob at May 26, 2005 10:04 AM (lSPur)

7 the INXS one sounds interesting.

Posted by: carrie at May 26, 2005 10:04 AM (WitiE)

8 This is the third time I've gotten burned by the so-call "preview" on this stupid moronblog. If it's going to merge lines, that's fine, but that's how the preview should show it.

Now on to more important matters:

brak wrote:
First off, Gene Simmons would have to create a real heavy metal/rock band in the first place, somthing which he has never done

First Star Wars bashing and now KISS bashing? You people make me sick.

Posted by: Bob at May 26, 2005 10:07 AM (lSPur)

9 IIRC, Tommy Tutone ("867-5309") and the Knack ("My Sharona" and a couple other songs) are on the same show, which is absolutely terrible for both bands. First, either one of these bands would probably win any episode where they weren't facing off against each other--both of their best singles are waaay better than anything by any of the other contestants. Secondly, they cater to the same audience segement (e.g., those who like power pop, good music, etc.), meaning that they'll split the vote and it will be possible for someone like Vanilla Ice or Wang Chung to win the contest.

Posted by: Mike at May 26, 2005 10:16 AM (f74q3)

10 KISS sucks. Go ahead and say it. It's the right thing to do.

Posted by: brak at May 26, 2005 10:18 AM (OuLOj)

11 The really funny part of this show is the bands will be covering modern songs as well. The sad part is Loverboy is apparently going to cover an Enrique Iglesias song.

And, sad to say, I saw a picture someplace of the Flock of Seagulls guy. He is now bald.

Posted by: Gib at May 26, 2005 10:23 AM (PsC2M)

12 Loverboy will have their work cut out for them the first week, as they'll be competing against the Romantics. If the Romantics stay to their guitar rock roots (e.g., playing songs like "What I Like about You") instead of playing one of their 80s songs with synths, they have a great chance of winning. They are an awesome live band.

Posted by: Mike at May 26, 2005 10:26 AM (f74q3)

13 Forget the hair metal & spandex acts. I want to see a public humiliation reality show for wimpy introspective 1980's college radio assholes -- REM, the Pixies, Replacements, et al.

Posted by: iowahawk at May 26, 2005 10:27 AM (xKAPd)

14 I'm Such a Reality TV Whore It Makes Me Sick

Me too!

Posted by: I'm with you fellers at May 26, 2005 10:29 AM (dhRpo)

15 The Knack would destroy Tommy Tutone. "Jenny" was basically a novelty song. Yeah, it's fun and catchy, but would anyone buy a compilation album for it? I wouldn't.

Now, My Sharona... that is inarguably a classic.

Posted by: ace at May 26, 2005 10:31 AM (Q6+G6)

16 KISS was obviously a metal band, although more of the hair-and-glitter metal bands that would follow (uhhh, Poison) than the darker metal bands like Black Sabbath.

Still... a great band.

Okay, now that we're arguing about KISS vs. Black Sabbath, this fucking blog has actually hit seventh-grade-dweeb ROCK FUCKING BOTTOM.

I may have to retire again.

Posted by: ace at May 26, 2005 10:33 AM (Q6+G6)

17 ...before anyone argues about whether AC/DC is heavy metal (they're not).

Posted by: ace at May 26, 2005 10:35 AM (Q6+G6)

18 dweeb - Wow haven't heard that in a dog's age!

PS - Honorable 80's mention: 10,000 Maniacs.

Posted by: 72 MANIACS at May 26, 2005 10:37 AM (dhRpo)

19 Ace - I had a dream about you last night...we were going to go meet for a beer to talk about blogging, etc. I showed up at the bar, and you were there. I walked up and started screaming like a cheap Wes Craven movie actress. Why? Because you were a ugly midget woman wearing a Dolly Parton wig.

What does that mean?

Posted by: Bill at May 26, 2005 10:37 AM (o56v6)

20 Honorable 80's mention: Van Halen

Posted by: 72 FLYING HALLUCINATIONS at May 26, 2005 10:38 AM (dhRpo)

21 Honorable 80's mention: Dolly Parton

As she used to say in her show:

Honey, it takes a lot of money to look this cheap!

Posted by: 72 Hanging Gardens of Babylon at May 26, 2005 10:40 AM (dhRpo)

22 KISS was pop metal, if such a thing exists. They seemed like a band put together to support a circus act stage show with some manufactured songs. "Rock and Roll All Night," which is just the same thing repeated over and over, is the only song of theirs anyone remembers.

I'd put AC/DC in the "hard rock" category, and Sabbath in "metal." But those lines are blurry.

Posted by: brak at May 26, 2005 10:41 AM (OuLOj)

23 Honorable 80's mention: Pat Bentar

Posted by: 72 FLYING MONKEYS at May 26, 2005 10:42 AM (dhRpo)

24 See, brak, you idiot, Ace says you're wrong. And this is his blog, so his word goes.

I also agree with Ace (hey, it is his blog here) that the 867-5309 song isn't that great. To me it's just one of about a million similarly bland songs from that era. I'm honestly surprised to find that there's a person out there that thinks it's something special.

About the only joy I ever got from that song is seeing a member of that band interviewed on MTV when it was a hit. "Does anyone have that number?" he was asked. He smirked and said, "Some people used to have that number." It's amusing to think so many morons actually tried to call Jenny that people had to change their phone numbers.

Posted by: Bob at May 26, 2005 10:42 AM (lSPur)

25 Hey Bob, take off the face paint. KISS Army is dead

Posted by: brak at May 26, 2005 10:44 AM (OuLOj)

26 Have you seen this site?

A guy actually tried to dial as many 867-5309's as possible...

Posted by: Bill at May 26, 2005 10:46 AM (o56v6)

27 I would like to see the Go Gos in a Rainbow Reality show.

Posted by: Dman at May 26, 2005 10:46 AM (m2CN7)

28 Dishonorable 80s 'heavy metal' mention: Jethro Tull.

Posted by: someone at May 26, 2005 10:48 AM (S22v9)

29 Honorable 80's mention: Blondie

Posted by: Curses, foiled again! at May 26, 2005 10:48 AM (dhRpo)

30 A Flock of Seagulls, Fuckin Awesome! I just hope it's the entire original band, not the more recent version.

Oh how I miss the 80's...Ronald Reagan, New Coke, parachute pants, and masturbating to my sister's Joan Jett and Pat Benatar posters.

Posted by: Lee at May 26, 2005 10:52 AM (O7j32)

31 Honorable 80's mention: ZZ TOP

Posted by: Dudly Do-Right at May 26, 2005 10:57 AM (dhRpo)

32 Don't sell Tommy Tutone short. If listening to the Knack causes images of Dancin' Janet Reno to appear - the mental trauma alone will lead them to victory.

Besides, it's a love song about a chick whose number was written in a bathroom stall. That's victory, right there.

Posted by: Gib at May 26, 2005 10:57 AM (PsC2M)

33 Honorable 80's mention: Huey Lewis and the News

Posted by: 72NAZIS at May 26, 2005 10:59 AM (dhRpo)

34 I DEMAND that Ace ban Iowahawk on account of his gob-smackingly vile dismissal of the Replacements, Pixies, and 80s REM.

And Ace, 867-5309 has a great hook and crunchy guitars. That's more than most everything else on the radio from that era. Not my favorite song, but better than anything most of their competition on this new reality show has ever done.

Posted by: Mike at May 26, 2005 11:00 AM (f74q3)

35 Oh how I miss the 80's...Ronald Reagan, New Coke, parachute pants, and masturbating to my sister's Joan Jett and Pat Benatar posters.

I have the same memories, except your sister was present at the time.

Tell her to call me. She's what we used to call, way back in the 80's, "a real fucking filthy whore."

Posted by: ace at May 26, 2005 11:01 AM (Q6+G6)

36 Jenny is okay. But look, it's basically a novelty song.

It's Walking on Sunshine with a male vocal.

Posted by: ace at May 26, 2005 11:02 AM (Q6+G6)

37 I'm not going to ban Iowahawk. I f'n' hate REM. Pixies and Replacements are okay, but anyone can slam REM here anytime they like.

First couple of albums were okay. Then they started getting, oh, what's the right word?, faggy.

Posted by: ace at May 26, 2005 11:06 AM (Q6+G6)

38 Honorable 80's mention: WHAM

Posted by: Boris Badenoff at May 26, 2005 11:08 AM (dhRpo)

39 You cannot love the 80's and not love these immortal and now-forgotten hits:

Safety Dance by Men Without Hats. Someone should have to do prison time for this crime against nature.

One Night In Bangkok by Murray Head. The only rock song ever written about chess.

Radioactive by The Firm. The Firm was supposed to be the next big supergroup in the mold of Pink Floyd. Remember them? Me neither. But it was a cool song.

Any or all of these washed-up clowns would be excellent prospects for the current crop of reality shows.

Posted by: Monty at May 26, 2005 11:12 AM (cB/4p)

40 I have three sisters Ace...and let's be honest, they are all "real fucking filthy whores".

Posted by: Lee at May 26, 2005 11:12 AM (O7j32)

41 Don't I know it, Lee. Don't I know it.

I have One Night On Bangkok on a CD somewhere, back from when Napster was around. Forgot to grab Radioactive, the "supergroup" made up of a guy from Bad Company and some other third-tier band.

Safety Dance? Novelty song. Please.

Posted by: ace at May 26, 2005 11:15 AM (Q6+G6)

42 Honorable 80's mention: Tom Petty

Posted by: 72prunes at May 26, 2005 11:17 AM (dhRpo)

43 Honorable 80's mention: The Cars

Posted by: 72 DRUNKEN VIRGINS at May 26, 2005 11:18 AM (dhRpo)

44 Honorable 80's mention: MEN AT WORK

Posted by: 72(maincal)VIRGINS at May 26, 2005 11:19 AM (dhRpo)

45 OK, why are you throwing out all these band names?

Posted by: brak at May 26, 2005 11:21 AM (OuLOj)

46 Yeah, come on. I'm all for traffic, but we all remember these names. At least bundle them up into a single post or something, or name an obscure one, like Slyy Foxx.

Posted by: ace at May 26, 2005 11:22 AM (Q6+G6)

47 MJ's Billie Jean was a gem. I liked Thriller too, but I think only because the video kicked ass. Come on, coreographed zombies? That and the voiceover by Vincent Price made Thriller classic.

Posted by: Lee at May 26, 2005 11:25 AM (O7j32)

48 I've always suspected 72 was a spambot.

Posted by: Bob at May 26, 2005 11:26 AM (lSPur)

49 Ace, REM was a great band until Out of Time, which came at the end of 80s and was well past their college radio days. And saying "Jenny" was good in the same way "Walking on Sunshine" was good seems a reason to love the song, not dismiss it.

I think some folks are missing the point of this show by mentioning acts like Blondie and Tom Petty, who had long careers (in Blondie's case, relatively) and tons of hits, album sales, and well-regarded reputations. This is a show about people with one to three hits and insubstantial careers.

Posted by: Mike at May 26, 2005 11:30 AM (f74q3)

50 "Novelty song?" Ace, your snide dismissal of this 80's chunk of shite passes all understanding. That song was the epitome of 80's suckitude. I suppose you'll also dismiss such other paragons of crap like The Tom Tom Club, Bow Wow Wow, and John Parr ("Man In Motion" from St. Elmo's Fire for you cultural retards). Or hell, we can always go with the obvious crumminess of Ratt or Scandal ("The Warrior").

Face it, Ace: the 1980's were a musical embarrassment from beginning to end. The only good thing that happened musically was that Stevie Ray Vaughan kicked the junk long enough to do some great music before he died in that accident.

Posted by: Monty at May 26, 2005 11:32 AM (8K26L)

51 Just trying to bring back the dead from obscurity and balance out all those really shitty 80's bands ya'll mentioned with some good ones. I'm actually out of names, and just in time for the ACE is whining again about his bandwidth.

Posted by: 72 Atrifacts at May 26, 2005 11:42 AM (dhRpo)

52 Honorable 80's mention: Scraping Foetus Off the Wheel

Posted by: Stumbo at May 26, 2005 01:33 PM (z4es9)

53 I didn't think much of Jenny (867-5309) for years and years, but then happened across a punk-pop cover of it by, I don't know, Blink 182 or 311 or one of those groups who pretty much all sound alike, which totally reopened my ears to its merits as a song and gave me a new appreciation for the original. Great mix of melody, chord changes, and verse/bridge/chorus interplay. I don't know if he's still there, but when I was in high school in the late 80s I took guitar lessons at Skip's Music in Sacramento, and Tommy Tutone himself taught songwriting lessons at that shop. I laughed about that at the time, because if he knew so much about songwriting he probably would have been able to come up with another hit, but I now realize he did a pretty good job with the one.

(As a straight guy, it pains me to admit this, but I heard Abba's Dancing Queen covered by country songwriter Robbie Fulks on Fresh Air, with just acoustic guitar accompaniment (it also embarrasses me to admit that I occasionally listen to Fresh Air), and gained a new appreciation for that song too.)

As for Kiss, forget Rock and Roll All Night. It's all about Calling Dr. Love, baby.

And as for REM, screw those guys. Faggy doesn't even begin to cover it; I have the same visceral hatred for them and desire to give them all swirlies and stuff them in lockers that I have for Moby. They offend me.

Posted by: Alex at May 26, 2005 02:06 PM (fgyj8)

54 "Face it, Ace: the 1980's were a musical embarrassment from beginning to end."

Really. I'll always associate the 80's with Adam Ant, Boy George and Billy Idol. I think MTV had a lot to do with it -- sucking, that is.

Posted by: cardeblu at May 26, 2005 02:45 PM (NX340)

55 Got drafted into an 80s cover band a couple of years ago.

Never felt so lost in my life. What the hell was I listening to during the Reagan administration?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at May 26, 2005 03:02 PM (LM+6i)

56 Really. I'll always associate the 80's with Adam Ant, Boy George and Billy Idol. I think MTV had a lot to do with it -- sucking, that is.

MTV has a lot to do with it CONTINUING to suck, too. At least in the 80s you could find a few remnants of actual musicians before the video age starved them out. I remember most of the bands mentioned here from the 70s.

Pop music today is complete crap, which really explains why American Idol CDs sell as well as they do and why so many people are turning to country (yikes).


Posted by: bbeck at May 26, 2005 08:00 PM (qF8q3)

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