July 31, 2012

Guy Assaults Girlfreind, Smashes Computer, Because He Thinks She's Stepping Out With... Mitt Romney
— Ace

turpin-150x150.jpg
Placed 6,567,938,229th in Genetic Lottery.
Won $0.25 towards the purchase of his next scratch-off.

It just feels malicious to even make fun of this unfortunate man. So, let's get right into it.

He suspected his live-in girlfriend of planning to have an affair. His suspicions were all but confirmed when he saw a man whose face he did not recognize on her FaceBook page.

That man? An internet lothario going by the screennames MagicUnderwear69 and TheRealChristianGrey.

ap_mitt_romney.jpg
Her Mystery Lover Vowed: "I will transport you to a world
of sexual ecstasy and sustainable fiscal policy"

When the woman informed her understandably enraged boyfriend/abuser that this was just presidential candidate Mitt Romney, he was unmollified, and smashed her computer and, she says, hit him.

romneybain.jpg
"I will make you my Pleasure Whore,
and add you to my Erotic Stable of Passion,
as I did to these rentboys you see behind me."

The man is charged with one count of living in Tennessee, even though he is clearly a Florida resident.

Posted by: Ace at 08:36 AM | Comments (299)
Post contains 195 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Well Obama has one more felon vote.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 31, 2012 08:37 AM (+SmuD)

2 although he is plainly a Florida resident.

You know what? Screw you man. Screw you. We don't own all the whackos.

Wait. Come to think of it ...


Posted by: Florida Residents at July 31, 2012 08:38 AM (0tkqC)

3 He suspected his live-in girlfriend -- who says he'd previously her swatted about -- of planning to have an affair.

All for nothing! All for nothing!
<muffled sobs>

Posted by: Ace's 8th grade English teacher [/i] [/b] at July 31, 2012 08:38 AM (5FvTK)

4

**golf clap**

Posted by: garrett at July 31, 2012 08:38 AM (+qVLK)

5 How long before Dems try and say this proves Romney is having an affair?

Posted by: Shohuff at July 31, 2012 08:38 AM (jo0fs)

6 Local chapter president of the DNC...

Posted by: hopingmycommentsatisfiescharliebrown'sdildo at July 31, 2012 08:39 AM (C8XlI)

7 and yet he had a girlfriend...

Posted by: Soothsayer at July 31, 2012 08:40 AM (RnfGE)

8 I lived seven blocks from Romney during the year he lived in Paris ( 1966-67 )


never hit my girlfriend, though.


I think Mitt came to ACP dances and other social events, but I could be wrong about that.   American College in Paris, now the American University in Paris.  Salad Days....

Posted by: Solid Copy at July 31, 2012 08:40 AM (Dll6b)

9

Hey, HEY. Just because all the nuts roll down here to FL, you don't have to accuse   this guy of...

 

 

Oh, who am I fooling?   In   Florida or Tennessee, nuts is nuts.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at July 31, 2012 08:40 AM (d0Tfm)

10 Is this the American that won't do the jobs that illegal aliens do?

Posted by: Cicero at July 31, 2012 08:40 AM (QKKT0)

11 going out on a limb here, he's not part of the 1 percent.

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at July 31, 2012 08:40 AM (SO2Q8)

12 Can't wait to see how this plays into Obama's next round of attack ads.

Posted by: LASue at July 31, 2012 08:40 AM (pWeX5)

13 Don't tell this guy, but I've been slippin' her the sausage for years.

Posted by: Jimmy Dean at July 31, 2012 08:40 AM (+qVLK)

14 Her Mystery Lover Vowed: "I will transport you to a world
of sexual ecstasy and sustainable fiscal policy"


Yer killin' me, Ace.

Posted by: Cicero at July 31, 2012 08:41 AM (QKKT0)

15 @5: The NYT has probably already rolled out their Super Romney Good Time Sex Affair Response Squad.

Posted by: catmman at July 31, 2012 08:41 AM (C8XlI)

16 Women only swoon over Obama.

They face the wrath of Lowell Turpin for Romney.

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos at July 31, 2012 08:41 AM (J8gK5)

17

Her Mystery Lover Vowed: "I will transport you to a world
of sexual ecstasy and sustainable fiscal policy"

 

Both hands clamped over my mouth to muffle the giggling. 

 

 

Posted by: alexthechick SMOD. Our only hope. at July 31, 2012 08:41 AM (VtjlW)

18 Hmmm... She's smart enough to have Romney on her FB page, but... I suppose if you're really, really wasted, or in a house of mirrors, he could sorta, kinda look like Romney.

Posted by: On a stranded island, I'd pick Romney at July 31, 2012 08:41 AM (HOOye)

19 Won a $0.50 scratch-off ticket. No, I think he won the lackof (rhymes with...) ticket.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at July 31, 2012 08:42 AM (1hM1d)

20

and yet he had a girlfriend...

 

That's just hurtful. 

Posted by: alexthechick SMOD. Our only hope. at July 31, 2012 08:42 AM (VtjlW)

21 Later today you will be cited on the NYT website as their source for a story that Romney was having an affair.

Posted by: Exile at July 31, 2012 08:42 AM (VZanF)

22 From looking at that mug shot, it's a good bet Mr. Lowell Turpin does not have a Facebook account of his own.

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos at July 31, 2012 08:43 AM (J8gK5)

23 Shouted question from press when Romney visits the museum of natural history:

Mr. Romney...Mr. Romney...is it true you had an affair with the wife of a neanderthal? 

Posted by: Exile at July 31, 2012 08:44 AM (VZanF)

24

And yet I'm still single.

What a world we live in.

Posted by: Ben at July 31, 2012 08:44 AM (C2Y4l)

25 "A puffer fish walks into a bar...  "

Posted by: Dang at July 31, 2012 08:44 AM (Ky1+e)

26 Is it me or does that dude look like one of the monsters from Where the Wild Things Are?

Posted by: DangerGirl at July 31, 2012 08:45 AM (Pfr2x)

27 I know this is kinda old news, and off-topicky, but I laughed, and laughing is good. CONAN O’BRIEN MOCKS OBAMA WITH SUGGESTED CAMPAIGN SLOGANS http://tinyurl.com/bloqxeh

Posted by: while my nail polish dries at July 31, 2012 08:45 AM (HOOye)

28
Full name: LOWELL BLESHECER TURPIN



Bleshecer?


Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at July 31, 2012 08:45 AM (kdS6q)

29 I may not recognize Mitt Romney and my jaw may be twice as wide as my cranium, but I can still vote, by God!


Posted by: Lowell Turpin at July 31, 2012 08:45 AM (J8gK5)

30 Richard Trumka has really let himself go.

Posted by: ErikW at July 31, 2012 08:45 AM (UUvh5)

31 If you can't kick a man when he's down, you don't deserve to kick him.

Posted by: dfbaskwill at July 31, 2012 08:45 AM (71LDo)

32 The tribe could live off of him for weeks, and literally nothing would go to waste.

Posted by: The Arapahobos at July 31, 2012 08:45 AM (QKKT0)

33 I would of smacked that bitch up too!

Posted by: Wesley Snipes at July 31, 2012 08:45 AM (eavT+)

34 And yet I'm still single.
What a world we live in.

Posted by: Ben at July 31, 2012 01:44 PM (C2Y4l)

Not sure you want to see the woman who looked at this dude and said, "Man, I can't wait to sleep with that!"

Posted by: lorien1973 at July 31, 2012 08:45 AM (0tkqC)

35 I paid him $100 and my husband was okay with it. Hmph.

Posted by: Mama AJ at July 31, 2012 08:45 AM (SUKHu)

36 Old Lowell has a serious Captain Lou Albano vibe going on.

Posted by: Lemmenkainen at July 31, 2012 08:46 AM (ZWvOb)

37 If he's a Vols' fan I'm surprised his leading suspect wasn't Lane Kiffin since he's regarded as the worst person in the world..

Posted by: Captain Hate (dagny solidarity) at July 31, 2012 08:46 AM (XbxYo)

38 I may be a Neanderthal, but I vote...

Posted by: Exile at July 31, 2012 08:46 AM (VZanF)

39 24 And yet I'm still single. What a world we live in. Posted by: Ben at July 31, 2012 01:44 PM (C2Y4l) Ace Singles Thread? My sisters single, lives in LA.

Posted by: while my nail polish dries at July 31, 2012 08:46 AM (HOOye)

40 Nice mugshot. Get that man a banjo.

Posted by: Berserker at July 31, 2012 08:46 AM (FMbng)

41

From looking at that mug shot, it's a good bet Mr. Lowell Turpin does not have a Facebook account of his own.

 

I'll bet  he's the first one in his family to walk upright.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at July 31, 2012 08:46 AM (d0Tfm)

42 Pic caption: "You got some'a yer egg nogg in mah goat milk!"

Posted by: Enricho Palazzo at July 31, 2012 08:46 AM (dSUs8)

43 In fairness to Lowell, he probably has a really big...singlewide.

Posted by: huerfano at July 31, 2012 08:47 AM (bAGA/)

44 Tennessee?  Never would have thought to look there.

Posted by: Capt. Ahab at July 31, 2012 08:47 AM (QKKT0)

45 "My new boyfriend could buy your trailer 100 times over!".

Posted by: Girlfriend On The Upgrade at July 31, 2012 08:47 AM (sv/s3)

46 I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the concept that someone was actually dating that.

Posted by: rabidsquirrel at July 31, 2012 08:48 AM (YQ4mh)

47 >>>Full name: LOWELL BLESHECER TURPIN Of the Bleshecers of Boston?

Posted by: ace at July 31, 2012 08:48 AM (115KO)

48 >> And yet I'm still single.

And yet does anyone have a photo of Mrs. Lowell Bleshecer Turpin?

I'm thinking she makes Michelle Obama look like Michelle Jenneke.

Posted by: Nicholas Kronos at July 31, 2012 08:48 AM (J8gK5)

49 Tennessee? Never would have thought to look there.
Posted by: Capt. Ahab at July 31, 2012 01:47 PM


Bravo! 

Posted by: huerfano at July 31, 2012 08:48 AM (bAGA/)

50 So, Mitt's starting to take over  MY SCHTICK, HUH?

Posted by: Hey girl, it's Paul Ryan at July 31, 2012 08:49 AM (W2YA6)

51 He looks like he's in pain from thinking too much.

Posted by: dananjcon at July 31, 2012 08:49 AM (eavT+)

52 26  Hahaha, he certainly does. 

Posted by: no good deed at July 31, 2012 08:49 AM (mjR67)

53 Yeah, he currently lives in TN but he moved there from NY or CT.

Posted by: Vic at July 31, 2012 08:50 AM (YdQQY)

54 i'm still trying to wrap my mind around the concept that someone was actually dating that.

Posted by: rabidsquirrel at July 31, 2012 01:48 PM (YQ4mh)

*

Hate to see what the GF looks like. Yeesh.

Posted by: dananjcon at July 31, 2012 08:50 AM (eavT+)

55 I've also left my mark on this woman's cheek.

Posted by: BBQ sauce at July 31, 2012 08:50 AM (sv/s3)

56 Okay, I was going to go with this: http://tinyurl.com/c6tevlx But, then found this: http://tinyurl.com/crzjuat

Posted by: was his name Jeremiah? at July 31, 2012 08:51 AM (HOOye)

57 She met him through an online dating service.

Someone printed the as and read it to Lowell. Then responded for him.

Lowell repaid the favor in food stamps, a half-eaten bag of pork rinds and an hour in his trailer with a sheep.

Posted by: Exile at July 31, 2012 08:51 AM (VZanF)

58 is his mouth full of marbles or is that some photoshoppy?

Posted by: cfh13 at July 31, 2012 08:51 AM (uURnG)

59 i'm still trying to wrap my mind around the concept that someone was actually dating that. Posted by: rabidsquirrel at July 31, 2012 01:48 PM (YQ4mh) Having sex with...

Posted by: The Robot Devil at July 31, 2012 08:52 AM (136wp)

60 I finally lost my cool when my girlfriend  reiterated her disdain for the plight of the Palestinians.

Posted by: LOWELL BLESHECER TURPIN at July 31, 2012 08:52 AM (W2YA6)

61 And yet I'm still single.
What a world we live in. Posted by: Ben

Ben,  ya gotta work a fat face like that mugshot.  Chicks see you as a chipmunk or hamster with cheeks full of winter groceries.  Also,  fat face = warmth.  I got my wife by loading my cheeks full of Corn Nuts© (3 bags) and spewing them out on her table at TGIFridays.  She and her friends were impressed.  They were also drunk,  but mostly they were just impressed.

Posted by: Dang at July 31, 2012 08:52 AM (Ky1+e)

62

Are we sure he's not related to Michael Moore?

I mean, look at that neck.

Posted by: wth at July 31, 2012 08:52 AM (wAQA5)

63 I don't see a problem here.

Posted by: Chris Brown at July 31, 2012 08:53 AM (HXLDG)

64 We don't own all the whackos.
Wait. Come to think of it ...Posted by: Florida Residents


It's either you or Germany.
youtu.be/NWojvo6RKoQ

Posted by: weft cut-loop [/i] [/b] at July 31, 2012 08:53 AM (5FvTK)

65 ""I'm thinking she makes Michelle Obama look like Michelle Jenneke.""



"No power in the galaxy can accomplish that"- God

Posted by: Berserker at July 31, 2012 08:53 AM (FMbng)

66 Where's the pic of his  lyin' bitch.  Remember.  People like this could be living in your neighborhood.

Posted by: Soona at July 31, 2012 08:53 AM (Nc+Tb)

67 speaking of the convention... President Bush says no thanks. Sarah Palin not invited. Pretty sad when our last two-term GOP president couldn't care less about the election. Also sad when we feel we need to shun one of our own because we might catch heat and ridicule from the media/Democrats.

Posted by: Soothsayer, 98 Days Until at July 31, 2012 08:53 AM (RnfGE)

68 The poor woman was dating a shaved wookie? And yes, he might be from Tennessee bodily but he's from Floriduh in spirit.

Posted by: joncelli, heartless Con and all around unpleasant guy at July 31, 2012 08:53 AM (RD7QR)

69
Having sex with...

Posted by: The Robot Devil at July 31, 2012 01:52 PM (136wp)

Thanks.  Now come and clean up the regurgitated Chipotle burrito off the floor.

Posted by: rabidsquirrel at July 31, 2012 08:54 AM (YQ4mh)

70 You're steppin out on me with someone who wears a suit?!  Those are only spose to be put on when you're dead!

Posted by: Lowell at July 31, 2012 08:54 AM (ZWvOb)

71 A guy with an Obama sticker on his GM SUV just ran me off the road.

Posted by: CAJohn at July 31, 2012 08:54 AM (joAc9)

72 This guy has a girlfriend?

FML.

Posted by: Time Travelling Flaneur at July 31, 2012 08:54 AM (ay6+/)

73 Sacred honor compels me to admit that Mitt and I have a standing date at the local Motel 6. I call him my LDS studmuffin, it gets him in the mood.

Posted by: kallisto at July 31, 2012 08:54 AM (jm/9g)

74 Jabba the neck.

Posted by: Berserker at July 31, 2012 08:54 AM (FMbng)

75 Mugshot Caption:  Ya mean that guy's on her TV *and* on her computer?!!?!

Posted by: reason at July 31, 2012 08:54 AM (W2YA6)

76 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable tyrant.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at July 31, 2012 08:54 AM (8y9MW)

77 'course we haven't met her yet. I'll bet she's a dish. Maybe a platter.

Posted by: Time Travelling Flaneur at July 31, 2012 08:54 AM (ay6+/)

78 See pitcher, smash pitcher box.  Don tole her twice!

Posted by: Lowell Turpin at July 31, 2012 08:54 AM (bAGA/)

79 Three Words: Obama Voter.

Posted by: Joe Biden at July 31, 2012 08:54 AM (8y9MW)

80 I am with ya... I am single too and when I see stuff like this thats always what I think. WTF

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at July 31, 2012 08:55 AM (DGIjM)

81 I'm bettin' she's one hot mama.

Posted by: nickless at July 31, 2012 08:55 AM (MMC8r)

82 He looks like he thinks Romney is in the computer.

Posted by: eh? at July 31, 2012 08:55 AM (HOOye)

83 It just wasn't the computer guys. The bitch was getting mail from this Romney guy too!

Posted by: Lowell Turpin at July 31, 2012 08:55 AM (sv/s3)

84 I am tired of the war on women

Posted by: CAJohn at July 31, 2012 08:55 AM (joAc9)

85

Oh Jiminy H. Christmas.   The man has no neck and looks        like a white, disheveled Jabba the Hutt.   Is that his real name?    Lowell Turpin Hutt?

 

Who would DATE this guy?   Who would willingly breathe the same AIR as this    fugly asshole?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 31, 2012 08:56 AM (4df7R)

86 Mitt sends me five letters in the mail every week. Take that Mr Lowell Turpin's live in girlfriend! He don't love you, bitch!

Posted by: DangerGirl at July 31, 2012 08:56 AM (Pfr2x)

87 65 ""I'm thinking she makes Michelle Obama look like Michelle Jenneke."" "No power in the galaxy can accomplish that"- God Posted by: Berserker at July 31, 2012 01:53 PM (FMbng) The case of the unfapable object meeting the movable butt

Posted by: The Robot Devil at July 31, 2012 08:56 AM (136wp)

88 In fairness, his girlfriend did spill a glass of 1964 Lafitte-Rothschild on his embossed copy of Shakespeare's Complete Works.

That would piss almost anyone off.

Posted by: Exile at July 31, 2012 08:56 AM (VZanF)

89

"I will transport you to a world

of sexual ecstasy and sustainable fiscal policy"


 

Those aren't the same things?

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 31, 2012 08:56 AM (4df7R)

90 i thought captain lou albano was dead?

Posted by: cfh13 at July 31, 2012 08:56 AM (uURnG)

91

The fact of the matter is that Romney is a NeoCon, Capitalist pig who has been outsourcing the very soul of this country for 25yrs now. I was just trying to make my GF understand that socio-economic, geo-political landscape of American cannot handle another Crony Capitalist.

Posted by: LOWELL BLESHECER TURPIN at July 31, 2012 08:56 AM (eavT+)

92 86 Mitt sends me five letters in the mail every week. Take that Mr Lowell Turpin's live in girlfriend! He don't love you, bitch! Posted by: DangerGirl at July 31, 2012 01:56 PM (Pfr2x) I got four letters in one day!

Posted by: The Robot Devil at July 31, 2012 08:57 AM (136wp)

93 80 I am with ya... I am single too and when I see stuff like this thats always what I think. WTF Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at July 31, 2012 01:55 PM (DGIjM) Well, do you frequent that sleazy bar down the street? THAT's your problem.

Posted by: or they met at the crack clinic at July 31, 2012 08:57 AM (HOOye)

94 That's what you get when you cross David Axelrod with Jerold Nadler.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at July 31, 2012 08:57 AM (iAUf+)

95 I know how to do cypherin, grad-ge-atin the sixth grade and all.

Posted by: Lowell Turpin at July 31, 2012 08:57 AM (ZWvOb)

96 Three Words: Obama Voter. They are mean.

Posted by: CAJohn at July 31, 2012 08:57 AM (joAc9)

97 37 If he's a Vols' fan I'm surprised his leading suspect wasn't Lane Kiffin since he's regarded as the worst person in the world..

Posted by: Captain Hate (dagny solidarity) at July 31, 2012 01:46 PM (XbxYo)


Lane Kiffin is a fooking crapweasel. Satan's barbed cock is too good for him.


Nice picture of the guy, but can we get a picture of this delicious strumpet that Mittens is stepping out with?

Posted by: MrCaniac at July 31, 2012 08:57 AM (1grxW)

98 And how many kids does he have, 4 or 5?

This guy is the reason why the Idiocracy theory is so alluring.

Posted by: runninrebel at July 31, 2012 08:58 AM (N/1Dm)

99 He looks like he just finished inflating inflatable scrotum man.  Dizzie Gillespie would be proud.

Posted by: pep at July 31, 2012 08:58 AM (6TB1Z)

100 90 i thought captain lou albano was dead? Posted by: cfh13 at July 31, 2012 01:56 PM (uURnG) No, he just doesn't want to have fun, anymore...

Posted by: Cindy Lauper at July 31, 2012 08:58 AM (136wp)

101 Those aren't the same things?
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 31, 2012 01:56 PM
------------------------
They are.

Posted by: Zombie Milton Friedman at July 31, 2012 08:58 AM (ay6+/)

102 It's people like this who convince me that Facebook is still overvalued at $22/share.

Posted by: Andy at July 31, 2012 08:58 AM (HXLDG)

103 I can't be that dumb.  I noticed Ace spelt girlfriend wrong.

Posted by: Lowell Turpin at July 31, 2012 09:00 AM (ZWvOb)

Posted by: wheatie at July 31, 2012 09:00 AM (mtRB0)

105

 

 

Ace has his humor mojo back.

 

HE'S BACK MAN! BETTER THAN EVER! TOP OF THE WORLD!!!

 

Posted by: Rev. Dr. E. Buzz. Bunnies. Trump. at July 31, 2012 09:00 AM (tcSZb)

106 And they say romance is dead...

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 31, 2012 09:00 AM (ZAYlH)

107 Should I be concerned that Barack Obama really wants to have dinner with my gal?

Posted by: Another Jealous Liberal Boyfriend at July 31, 2012 09:00 AM (115KO)

108
LOWELL BLESHECER TURPIN


Surname: Turpin

Derived from: Turpius, Turpinus (from Latin turpis ‘ugly’, ‘base’), one of the self-abasing names adopted as a mark of humility by the early Christians.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at July 31, 2012 09:00 AM (kdS6q)

109 All ya single men are missin teh first rule of datin. It dont matter what she look like when ya turn off them there lights.

Posted by: Lowell at July 31, 2012 09:00 AM (wsGWu)

110 What's his girlfriend look like?

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 31, 2012 09:00 AM (05RcU)

111 Bitch is doing it wrong.. Mitt sent me 2 t shirts and a bumper sticker. I also get emails from his staff and his wife. He invites me to dinner... invites me to be there when he names a VP.... I think we know who he really likes... ME

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at July 31, 2012 09:00 AM (DGIjM)

112 And to think.  He's getting bj's and I'm not.  Is there something  in the gov. welfare program that I'm not aware of?

Posted by: Soona at July 31, 2012 09:01 AM (Nc+Tb)

113 I like how is goatee is not ruffled, i bet the ladies love that!

Posted by: Penfold at July 31, 2012 09:01 AM (1PeEC)

114 100 90 i thought captain lou albano was dead?
Posted by: cfh13 at July 31, 2012 01:56 PM (uURnG)

No, he just doesn't want to have fun, anymore... ___________ Nice pull, 100.   This pic does make me long for rubberbands.

Posted by: cfh13 at July 31, 2012 09:01 AM (uURnG)

115 109 All ya single men are missin teh first rule of datin. It dont matter what she look like when ya turn off them there lights. Posted by: Lowell at July 31, 2012 02:00 PM (wsGWu) There is, of course, the base requirement of being able to find the mulva.

Posted by: The Robot Devil at July 31, 2012 09:01 AM (136wp)

116 Maybe she and Meghan McCain can start their own TV show.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 31, 2012 09:02 AM (+SmuD)

117 Just landed at Logan. JetBlue, so far, has been great. Right on time, every seat has a TV, free soda and snacks. Two thumbs up. Next leg is a hop to Hyannis on "Cape Air". I've never flown right to the Cape before, feels kinda 1 percenty. Oh, and the TV screen in the terminal is reporting a shark attack today 75 ft from shore. An 18 foot Great White was spotted 3 days ago, so it looks like it's going to be another sharky summer at the Cape.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 31, 2012 09:02 AM (cHIOd)

118 I'm another single Moronette, and I can say with 100% certainty that I would never, ever, EVER consider dating this asshole.   I mean, he doesn't know who Mitt Romney is?   That means he's probably a lousy independent.  *spit!*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 31, 2012 09:02 AM (4df7R)

119 I got four letters in one day! Posted by: The Robot Devil Bitch.

Posted by: DangerGirl at July 31, 2012 09:02 AM (IVRIf)

120 HE'S BACK MAN! BETTER THAN EVER! TOP OF THE WORLD!!! Posted by: Rev. Dr. E. Buzz. Bunnies. Trump. at July 31, 2012 02:00 PM (tcSZb) Indeed. Vacations... yum...

Posted by: lunchtime at July 31, 2012 09:02 AM (HOOye)

121

I couldn't understand my girlfriend's newfound appreciation for Israeli culture, federalism and laissez faire economics.

 

It finally all makes sense.

Posted by: Lowell Bleshecer Turpin at July 31, 2012 09:02 AM (NF2Bf)

122 And call the resulting show The Spew.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 31, 2012 09:02 AM (+SmuD)

123

/looks at his Google Search...

 

Quick! get me the writers, Romney is having an affiar!

Posted by: MSNBC Editor at July 31, 2012 09:03 AM (lZBBB)

124 This guy looks like the WH source for all the fried puppies.

Posted by: Soona at July 31, 2012 09:03 AM (Nc+Tb)

125 116 Maybe she and Meghan McCain can start their own TV show. Posted by: Anna Puma at July 31, 2012 02:02 PM (+SmuD) That would be a program with some weight behind it...

Posted by: The Robot Devil at July 31, 2012 09:03 AM (136wp)

126 I love me some nookie wrasslin after a case a beer or so.  Come on girl, let's get to it.

Posted by: Lowell Turpin at July 31, 2012 09:03 AM (ZWvOb)

127 Howie Carr says these shark attacks only occur when the local news has nothing else to report.

Posted by: Soothsayer, 98 Days Until at July 31, 2012 09:03 AM (RnfGE)

128 His girlfriend's a dead ringer for Michael Moore.  Down to the hat.

Posted by: nickless at July 31, 2012 09:04 AM (MMC8r)

129 Yes the show would have some serious heft to it.  Call the forklift, Meggie just found the pork skins.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 31, 2012 09:04 AM (+SmuD)

130 An 18 foot Great White was spotted 3 days ago, so it looks like it's going to be another sharky summer at the Cape.
Posted by: Lincolntf at July 31, 2012 02:02 PM
--------------------------
*knock*knock*knock*

Telegram...

More peanuts?

Posted by: Landshark at July 31, 2012 09:04 AM (ay6+/)

131 Ha! Adam Carolla was talking about having 'dumb' prisons the other day, where you lock up the criminally stupid. I think this guy would qualify.

Posted by: Chris at July 31, 2012 09:04 AM (gI9Bk)

132 I think we know who he really likes... ME

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at July 31, 2012 02:00 PM (DGIjM)

 

Fuck you.  He sent me a PICTURE.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 31, 2012 09:05 AM (4df7R)

133 Do we KNOW they WEREN'T having an AFFAIR!?!?

Posted by: Debbie Whattheheck-Schmultz at July 31, 2012 09:05 AM (MMC8r)

134 "Candygram for Obama!"

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 31, 2012 09:05 AM (+SmuD)

135 I guess chicks really do dig that scruffy I-just-birthed-a-giant-turd-from-what looks like-a-llamas-ass-on-my-face look.

Who knew?

Posted by: Exile at July 31, 2012 09:05 AM (VZanF)

136

Pffftt....h7trs gotta h7.

 

Posted by: LOWELL BLESHECER TURPIN at July 31, 2012 09:05 AM (eavT+)

137 >>>An 18 foot Great White was spotted 3 days ago, so it looks like it's going to be another sharky summer at the Cape.


Awesome. I'm going to Block Island next week. maybe I can show these pansy ass Eastcoasters how we Californians deal with Great Whites.

Posted by: runninrebel at July 31, 2012 09:05 AM (N/1Dm)

138 @ 47 Wow, Kenny Rogers has really let himself go after Jackass. Sad really...

Posted by: Ed Wood vs Godzilla at July 31, 2012 09:05 AM (/w0Ry)

139 Fuck you. He sent me a PICTURE. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 31, 2012 02:05 PM (4df7R) WHAT??!!! He cant be cheating on me. Was he naked in the pic?

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at July 31, 2012 09:06 AM (DGIjM)

140 Lowell, you ARE the father. Of Jabba the Hutt.

Posted by: Maury at July 31, 2012 09:06 AM (XFYiQ)

141 North Korea women lost to the USA in soccer today. I guess no dinner for them

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 31, 2012 09:06 AM (05RcU)

142 "Raising Arizona' is like 'Masterpiece Theater' to this guy.

Posted by: Debbie Whattheheck-Schmultz at July 31, 2012 09:06 AM (MMC8r)

143 111 What's his girlfriend look like? Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 31, 2012 02:00 PM (05RcU) I absolutely do not want to know. Because if she's even halfway decent, I will have to hide under my bed for two, maybe three days.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at July 31, 2012 09:07 AM (bxiXv)

144

God, you people make me laugh.....

 

Thanks - I really needed it!  (My computer screen, on the other hand, is now covered with Coke spew)

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at July 31, 2012 09:07 AM (P6H+d)

145 Later, SmuD checking out.  Need to add food to the zombie apocalypse stockpile.

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 31, 2012 09:07 AM (+SmuD)

146 Wait..she's a Mitt Romney fan, yet dates -him. Something is missing.

Posted by: tasker at July 31, 2012 09:07 AM (r2PLg)

147 47 >>>Full name: LOWELL BLESHECER TURPIN

Of the Bleshecers of Boston?

Posted by: ace at July 31, 2012 01:48 PM (115KO)


Bleshecer is his mating name.

Posted by: Ricky at July 31, 2012 09:08 AM (1grxW)

148 139 Fuck you. He sent me a PICTURE. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 31, 2012 02:05 PM (4df7R) WHAT??!!! He cant be cheating on me. Was he naked in the pic? Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at July 31, 2012 02:06 PM (DGIjM) Didn't matter to MWR, Mitt was naked in her mind.

Posted by: The Robot Devil at July 31, 2012 09:08 AM (136wp)

149 He suspected his live-in girlfriend...

Was she the blow up kind?

Posted by: dogfish at July 31, 2012 09:08 AM (N2yhW)

150 WHAT??!!! He cant be cheating on me.

Was he naked in the pic?

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at July 31, 2012 02:06 PM (DGIjM)

 

No, but he was wearing a flannel shirt.

 

Flannel shirt is second only to a kilt in Teh Sexay.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 31, 2012 09:08 AM (4df7R)

151 Awesome. I'm going to Block Island next week. maybe I can show these pansy ass Eastcoasters how we Californians deal with Great Whites. Posted by: runninrebel at July 31, 2012 02:05 PM (N/1Dm) Yeah, but the newbies have to switch to the .50 DTC because the state banned new .50 BMG rifles.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at July 31, 2012 09:08 AM (bxiXv)

152 @143: You and me both.

Posted by: Ian S. at July 31, 2012 09:08 AM (tqwMN)

153 Bleshecer. Yeah that's pretty much the word that comes to mind when I look at that picture.

Posted by: DangerGirl at July 31, 2012 09:08 AM (XFYiQ)

154 How long before the left claims Mitt is having an affair.

Posted by: Big T Party at July 31, 2012 09:09 AM (EhUTA)

155 141 North Korea women lost to the USA in soccer today. I guess no dinner for them Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 31, 2012 02:06 PM (05RcU) Meh, we filled up on tree bark before we left...

Posted by: North Korean Soccer Team at July 31, 2012 09:09 AM (136wp)

156 O/T: NYT Has an "ObamaCare is Awesome!" article up (as of yesterday).  I have a reaction up at my place.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at July 31, 2012 09:09 AM (8y9MW)

157 North Korea women lost to the USA in soccer today. I guess no dinner for them

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 31, 2012 02:06 PM (05RcU)



More dog for me!!

Posted by: King Emperor Admiral Barky at July 31, 2012 09:09 AM (X3lox)

158 Didn't matter to MWR, Mitt was naked in her mind.

Posted by: The Robot Devil at July 31, 2012 02:08 PM (136wp)

 

And talking about sustainable fiscal... policy...

 

*fanning self*   I'll be in my bunk.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 31, 2012 09:09 AM (4df7R)

159 Geez, I go to the beach and suddenly it's like 'Jaws' all over again.

Posted by: Debbie Whattheheck-Schmultz at July 31, 2012 09:09 AM (MMC8r)

160 Caption above his head:

I don't understand why I am here. Even when I raped that goat I didn't go to jail.

Posted by: Exile at July 31, 2012 09:09 AM (VZanF)

161 He did nothing but give. Put out 1000  dollars  in gasoline money  following her to "work", and  an  untold number of slaps and threats of slaps, and this is how she repays him!

Posted by: Hal Burton at July 31, 2012 09:09 AM (iYvMQ)

162 71 A guy with an Obama sticker on his GM SUV just ran me off the road.

Posted by: CAJohn at July 31, 2012 01:54 PM (joAc9)


Not surprising - I learned long ago that any fucking idiot with an Obama sticker also appears to be driving impaired.  I avoid them like the plague - hard to do in SF Bay Area.

Posted by: kathysaysso at July 31, 2012 09:10 AM (ZtwUX)

163

I was going to make a Mr. Clean joke, too,  but the Jimmy Dean joke went unappreciated so fuck it.

Posted by: garrett at July 31, 2012 09:10 AM (+qVLK)

164 Swiss soccer player banned from Olympics for tweeting South Korean team were 'mongoloids.'

Posted by: nickless at July 31, 2012 09:10 AM (MMC8r)

165 One last quip.

So is he any relation to Frau Bleshecer?  Little known Mel Brooks movie, one of his rare not a winner type movies, that was called Hi! Frankenstein!

Posted by: Anna Puma at July 31, 2012 09:10 AM (+SmuD)

166 Bleshecer is his mating name. Posted by: Ricky at July 31, 2012 02:08 PM (1grxW) ******* I think that's more like his eating name.

Posted by: tasker at July 31, 2012 09:10 AM (r2PLg)

167 No, but he was wearing a flannel shirt. Flannel shirt is second only to a kilt in Teh Sexay. Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 31, 2012 02:08 PM (4df7R) ***sobs*****

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at July 31, 2012 09:10 AM (DGIjM)

168 North Korea women lost to the USA in soccer today. I guess no dinner for them...   Posted by: Nevergiveup


It's England.  Is that really a bad thing?  Blood pudding and all that.

Posted by: dogfish at July 31, 2012 09:11 AM (N2yhW)

169 Lane Kiffin is a fooking crapweasel. Satan's barbed cock is too good for him.

Posted by: MrCaniac at July 31, 2012 01:57 PM (1grxW)



The meltdown in Knoxville when Kiffin packed up his carpetbag was the funniest thing I've seen until Penn State's self pity party.

Posted by: Captain Hate (dagny solidarity) at July 31, 2012 09:11 AM (XbxYo)

170 But did he eat at a Chick-a-filet?

Posted by: Chicago values at July 31, 2012 09:11 AM (chysP)

171 What do Lowell Turpin & Barack Obama have in common? We can't find either of their records at Columbia Univ.

Posted by: Nukie at July 31, 2012 09:11 AM (5tpzF)

172
The Smoking Gun has the police report up.  Apparently Turpin was convinced his live-in girl friend was going to meet Romney at The Breadbox, which I assume is a local restaurant.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at July 31, 2012 09:11 AM (kdS6q)

173

North Korea women lost to the USA in soccer today. I guess no dinner for them

 

It's North Korea.   They    didn't have any dinner to eat in the first place.   Their    food    ration has probably been reduced to -50%, which means they actually have    to      grow    some carrots     and then give them to their pudgy faced dictator.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 31, 2012 09:11 AM (4df7R)

174

Aren't you concerned that someone that looks like Ben Affleck might explain to Mr. Turpin what the internet is and he googles himself and finds these harsh comments that he will find y'all and go Jay and Silent Bob on your a$$es.  That being said he looks like a fine fellow  to me.

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at July 31, 2012 09:12 AM (VLifP)

175 <em>132 Fuck you. He sent me a PICTURE.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 31, 2012 02:05 PM (4df7R) </em>

 

You BITCH!  He sent me one, too!

 

*sobs*

I can't believe he's cheating on me.....

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at July 31, 2012 09:12 AM (P6H+d)

176 These people are mating? What the fuck?

Posted by: Zombie Charles Darwin at July 31, 2012 09:12 AM (ljHXt)

177

"President Bush says no thanks. Sarah Palin not invited.



Pretty sad when our last two-term GOP president couldn't care less about the election. Also sad when we feel we need to shun one of our own because we might catch heat and ridicule from the media/Democrats."

 

Anyone who says the interwebs have blunted the MSM's ability to destroy a Republican candidate at will  is  seriously fooling himself.  There are more mouth-breathing idiots than ever who eat up the propaganda hook, line, and sinker because HEY!  If it's on TV it must be true!

 

That said, both Bush and Palin have done themselves no favors via their actions wrt the media.    One is a radioactive "liar".  The other one is a radioactive "idiot".  Truth be damned.

Posted by: Jaws at July 31, 2012 09:12 AM (4I3Uo)

178 Bleshecer?


Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at July 31, 2012 01:45 PM (kdS6q)


It's German for "guy who looks like a shaved wookie."

Posted by: joncelli, heartless Con and all around unpleasant guy at July 31, 2012 09:12 AM (RD7QR)

179 Nevergiveup, that's a shame because the victory dinner was going to be sundried crabgrass with water gravy.

Posted by: ErikW at July 31, 2012 09:12 AM (UUvh5)

180 She always tole me I was special

Posted by: Lowell "Mr T" at July 31, 2012 09:12 AM (DrC22)

181 Picture him and the girlfriend on Maury. With Mitt backstage waiting to find out if he is the father.

Posted by: Bruce at July 31, 2012 09:13 AM (hVRFu)

182 Bleshecer. That's the sound I'd make if that man came within 5 feet of me.

Posted by: Hobbitopoly at July 31, 2012 09:13 AM (SE5Gx)

183 See!  mongoloids do exist!  #bleshecer

Posted by: Swiss soccer team at July 31, 2012 09:13 AM (chysP)

184 *sobs* I can't believe he's cheating on me..... Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at July 31, 2012 02:12 PM (P6H+d) I know.. he is cheating on all of us. Probably with his wife.

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at July 31, 2012 09:13 AM (DGIjM)

185 Her name is Crystal Gray. Says she aint no stripper though.

Posted by: Lowell at July 31, 2012 09:13 AM (wsGWu)

186
Richard Trumka has really let himself go.

Posted by: ErikW at July 31, 2012 01:45 PM (UUvh5)








20 minutes with a Bic razor, a comb and a fresh shirt and they could be twins.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 31, 2012 09:14 AM (TIIx5)

187

Apparently Turpin was convinced his live-in girl friend was going to meet Romney at The Breadbox,

haha, guess again Fatso!

 

Mitt was with ME that night. He loves when I wear a tutu and dance around the bedroom like Ann's Olympic horse.

Posted by: kallisto at July 31, 2012 09:14 AM (jm/9g)

188

 Turbin," so you're stepping out on me huh, you think He is better then me, well , i done gave you my favorite beer cap collection, and this is what i git.I'll show you!"

 

 

Posted by: willow at July 31, 2012 09:14 AM (TomZ9)

189 I know.. he is cheating on all of us. Probably with his wife.

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at July 31, 2012 02:13 PM (DGIjM)

 

*sniffle*   well... she DOES have dancing horses.

 

*sniffle wiffle*

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 31, 2012 09:14 AM (4df7R)

190 Where I live, one out of every five guys look just like this fat bastard. They also usually have a good looking girlfriend who they will send into the convenience store to buy their skoal or chewing tobacco. As a teen, my job at a chevron station made me question the choices a lot of hot women make as to what kind of man they would shackle themselves to.

Posted by: The Drizzle at July 31, 2012 09:14 AM (ysCLj)

191 Is this the latest Michael Phelps photo the MSM is running with?

Posted by: FreakyBoy at July 31, 2012 09:14 AM (BpH0m)

192 Well it looks like Mitt has been stepping out on all of us. I say we go destroy his computer after we throw a handful of jawbreakers in our mouths for the mugshot.

Posted by: DangerGirl at July 31, 2012 09:15 AM (XFYiQ)

193 was going to meet Romney at The Breadbox, which I assume is a local restaurant. ***** You assume wrong! That's were I get to stuffin' my muffin.

Posted by: LOWELL BLESHECER TURPIN at July 31, 2012 09:15 AM (r2PLg)

194 Why do I insist on reading the HQ while on conference calls?

Addict?
Glutton for punishment?
Both?

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at July 31, 2012 09:15 AM (8y9MW)

195

Turpin remains locked up in the Anderson County jail in lieu of $1000 bond.

------

Why do I think thats the funniest part of the story.

Posted by: Hal Burton at July 31, 2012 09:15 AM (iYvMQ)

196 ""So is he any relation to Frau Bleshecer? Little known Mel Brooks movie, one of his rare not a winner type movies, that was called Hi! Frankenstein!""

It took years before I figured out "blucher" is german for "glue". That finally made the whole scene with the horse in young frankenstein make sense.

Posted by: Berserker at July 31, 2012 09:15 AM (FMbng)

197 Swiss soccer player banned from Olympics for tweeting South Korean team were 'mongoloids.'

Posted by: nickless at July 31, 2012 02:10 PM (MMC8r)



Using scientific terms is definitely against leftists' arbitrary rules - unless you're discussing sex with 5 year olds.

He should have used the term "cheaterroids" anyway.  The Koreans were the worst, most blatant, most transparent and shameless Olympic cheating host country ever - and that's saying something.  I remember when the commentator said something during the boxing match, sarcastically, "Now, if this decision goes against Roy Jones then there is definitely some cheating going on, here," [or something to that effect] assuming that it would be totally unthinkable, even for the cheaterroids to cheat on this one ...  LOL.  Jones lost the decision even though he had knocked the guy out and his whole family and neighborhood.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 31, 2012 09:15 AM (X3lox)

198 A woman named Crystal told me "Crystal" tends to be a white trash name. Though she herself was not.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 31, 2012 09:16 AM (ZAYlH)

199 Would legalized drugs have changed this story at all?

Posted by: DaveA at July 31, 2012 09:16 AM (DVJEd)

200 Blood pudding and all that.
Posted by: dogfish

That's usually something that confronts you at breakfast in England. It gives you an excuse to turn green and flee, even if you're not hungover.

Posted by: Dianna at July 31, 2012 09:16 AM (DV/Ik)

201 <em>I know.. he is cheating on all of us. Probably with his wife.

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at July 31, 2012 02:13 PM (DGIjM) </em>

 

The nerve of that guy.....

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at July 31, 2012 09:17 AM (P6H+d)

202

When this  kerfluffle is over, just think about the make-up sex.

Posted by: Soona at July 31, 2012 09:17 AM (Nc+Tb)

203 163

I appreciated it.


Posted by: Bruce at July 31, 2012 09:17 AM (hVRFu)

204 @ 146 "Something is missing" I'm thinking a chromosome.

Posted by: Ed Wood vs Godzilla at July 31, 2012 09:17 AM (/w0Ry)

205 And still curiously some wonder how anyone can recommend sterilization... 

Posted by: Exile at July 31, 2012 09:17 AM (VZanF)

206
Note: Ah, google says The Breadbox is actually a chain of 7-11 type stores, gas, diapers and lottery tickets.

Sounds like the sort of place Mitt would hang out at.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at July 31, 2012 09:17 AM (kdS6q)

207 Squeeze that guy and he'd ooze Cheetos and Pabst.

Posted by: nickless at July 31, 2012 09:17 AM (MMC8r)

208 It took years before I figured out "blucher" is german for "glue". That finally made the whole scene with the horse in young frankenstein make sense.

Posted by: Berserker at July 31, 2012 02:15 PM (FMbng)


"Vroll, vroll, vroll in de hay!"

Posted by: kathysaysso at July 31, 2012 09:17 AM (ZtwUX)

209 He suspected his live-in girlfriend of planning to have an affair. His suspicions were all but confirmed when he saw a man whose face he did not recognize on her FaceBook page.

-------

Thought for a second there she had liked Moochelle Obama's page.  Danger averted.

(I'm going now to stand in the corner.)

Posted by: Lady in Black at July 31, 2012 09:18 AM (lTVJy)

210 I am single, too,so does this article signify that he is back on the market? Or will the lucky lady give him another chance? Guys that good looking are scarce. (Not serious)

Posted by: Chilling the most at July 31, 2012 09:18 AM (6IV8T)

211 The balls on this guy!

(Excuse me, I now have to go vomit.)

Posted by: Hobbitopoly at July 31, 2012 09:18 AM (SE5Gx)

212 Ace - Make with the Joe Jackson Linkage.

Posted by: garrett at July 31, 2012 09:18 AM (+qVLK)

213 When this kerfluffle is over, just think about the make-up sex.

Fornicate you and the dancing horse in on which you rode.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at July 31, 2012 09:18 AM (8y9MW)

214 Sounds like the sort of place Mitt would hang out at.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at July 31, 2012 02:17 PM (kdS6q)

 

So THAT'S why he'd never heard of Wawa.   He's in bed with      Breadbox.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 31, 2012 09:18 AM (4df7R)

215 *waiting outside the BreadBox with roses and a boner*

Posted by: Mitt at July 31, 2012 09:18 AM (MMC8r)

216 Hey - somebody fix my html tags up on 201, wouldja?  (Stupid Pixy)

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at July 31, 2012 09:19 AM (P6H+d)

217 Anyone notice that he is from CLINTON TN?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 31, 2012 09:19 AM (ZAYlH)

218 maybe if they hang out at the breadbox, he can claim a twinkie defnse?

Posted by: willow at July 31, 2012 09:19 AM (TomZ9)

219 Note: Ah, google says The Breadbox is actually a chain of 7-11 type stores, gas, diapers and lottery tickets. *** Bullshit! "Breadbox" is code for--I'm fill in' ur doughnut hole bitch!

Posted by: LOWELL BLESHECER TURPIN at July 31, 2012 09:20 AM (r2PLg)

220 This guy's head looks like a soccer    ball.   Someone call London and see if they need one.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 31, 2012 09:20 AM (4df7R)

221 Another great ad that has to sting the Choomer in Chief who failed to get the Olympics. http://tinyurl.com/c5frvbc Wonder how long until Yamaguchi is called a cu*t.

Posted by: RWC at July 31, 2012 09:20 AM (fWAjv)

222 Bjorn Borg

Posted by: Carnac the Magnificent at July 31, 2012 09:21 AM (ljHXt)

223 215 *waiting outside the BreadBox with roses and a boner* Posted by: Mitt at July 31, 2012 02:18 PM (MMC8r) That is so hot.

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at July 31, 2012 09:21 AM (DGIjM)

224

He looks like the guy from Gold Rush.

Posted by: garrett at July 31, 2012 09:21 AM (+qVLK)

225 What's the sound made when two fat people fuck?

Posted by: Question toCarnac the Magnificent at July 31, 2012 09:22 AM (ljHXt)

226 i think we girls should chip in and send her a much needed rug and frying pan.

Posted by: willow at July 31, 2012 09:22 AM (TomZ9)

227 Heh. Just confirmed that wifey and I are renting a couple of sea kayaks a few miles from the attack. She will probably not like that, so I won't mention it. Until we're in the water.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 31, 2012 09:22 AM (7TwHV)

228

Leave Lowell Bleshecer ALONE!

 

*sob*

Posted by: emo bleach blond tranny dude at July 31, 2012 09:22 AM (jm/9g)

229 Meth.  It WILL fuck you up.

Looks like a KFC eater.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo-intellectual at July 31, 2012 09:22 AM (3ZjAP)

230 Has anybody seen Hamster Man? I'm looking for Hamster Man. You...you there, Hyena Guy. You seen Hamster Man? I got a job for.....no? Fine. Yeah, yeah...No spill blood. That's the law. So, nobody here has seen Hamster Man? Well, we're on an island for fuck's sake! I mean, it's not like he could fill his cheek-pouches with jerky and swim off to some godforsaken place like Tennessee, right? Right?

Posted by: Dr Moreau at July 31, 2012 09:23 AM (54vf8)

231 I just wanted to chew the fat with an everyday voter.

Posted by: Mitt at July 31, 2012 09:23 AM (MMC8r)

232 Anderson County jail in lieu of $1000 bond.

She can't hit MR up for  $100 to get his ass outta jail?

Thanks B @196 for a re-laugh I did not know that.

Posted by: DaveA at July 31, 2012 09:23 AM (DVJEd)

233 Using scientific terms is definitely against leftists' arbitrary rules - unless you're discussing sex with 5 year olds.

You had me at "sex with 5 year olds".

Posted by: Roman Polanski at July 31, 2012 09:23 AM (T0NGe)

234 That guy is the purity of essence of Tennessee hilljack.

A perfection of genetic malfeasance.

Posted by: eleven at July 31, 2012 09:24 AM (KXm42)

235 Now if girlfriend had a pic of Herman Cain on her FB..........

Posted by: Nukie at July 31, 2012 09:24 AM (OCBPC)

236 Truly funny.
"The generosity of women amazes me" - Some Eddy Murphy character whose name I forget.

Posted by: The World According to Pecos at July 31, 2012 09:24 AM (2Gb0y)

237

 

Heh.....it gets better.

 

Apparently, Romney spokesman Rick Gorka also told those news nozzles to...."Shove it!".....after he told them to "Kiss my ass".

 

And it is the "Shove it!" part that has really got their panties in a bunch.

 

Story over at Breitbart.

Linky in my sig.

Posted by: wheatie at July 31, 2012 09:24 AM (mtRB0)

238 all Mitt's  fault of course.

Posted by: willow at July 31, 2012 09:24 AM (TomZ9)

239 Now we know why Willard remained CEO of Bain Capital beyond his sell date:  Internet chicks.

Posted by: Fritz at July 31, 2012 09:24 AM (RuVpG)

240

>>I just wanted to chew the fat with an everyday voter.

 

That's wrong.  Well done.

Posted by: garrett at July 31, 2012 09:25 AM (+qVLK)

241 No, but he was wearing a flannel shirt.

Flannel shirt is second only to a kilt in Teh Sexay.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Hobbit and ABO Supporter at July 31, 2012 02:08 PM (4df7R)


Once Captain Lou, Cyndi Lauper and kilts were mentioned, I had to see what was going on here.

Posted by: Rowdy Roddy Piper at July 31, 2012 09:25 AM (1grxW)

242 229 comments and nobody whines about the girlfreind in the title? I Don't Even Know You People!

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at July 31, 2012 09:25 AM (d9tUw)

243
BTW - according to the police report Lowell is age 40, weight 310.

But he carries it well.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at July 31, 2012 09:25 AM (kdS6q)

244 This guy's face exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is his legacy. 

(line shamelessly stolen from Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion)

Posted by: Lady in Black at July 31, 2012 09:26 AM (lTVJy)

245

193 was going to meet Romney at The Breadbox, which I assume is a local restaurant.

----

that's its nickname during yeart infections...

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at July 31, 2012 09:27 AM (SO2Q8)

246 Now that's what I call a low-information voter!

Posted by: Armando at July 31, 2012 09:27 AM (5iuEW)

247 What's the sound made when two fat people fuck?

Posted by: Question toCarnac the Magnificent at July 31, 2012 02:22 PM (ljHXt)

 

 

--------------------------------------------------

 

 

schrrplopp, schrrplop, schrrplop

Posted by: Soona at July 31, 2012 09:27 AM (Nc+Tb)

248 His mouth is literally formed into an expression of gaping stupidity.


Like Joe Dirt's natually red-neck formed facial hair.

Posted by: eleven at July 31, 2012 09:27 AM (KXm42)

249

 yeart infections...

 

It's spelled Yurt.

Posted by: garrett at July 31, 2012 09:27 AM (+qVLK)

250 What's the sound made when two fat people fuck? Posted by: Question toCarnac the Magnificent at July 31, 2012 02:22 PM (ljHXt) In the old days it was the bed crashing after those boards that used to hold the mattress up crashed

Posted by: Nevergiveup at July 31, 2012 09:27 AM (05RcU)

251

Is this a representative profile of the typical Obama voter?

I can't seem to find anyWon willing to admit they are voting for the stuttering Cluster*uck Of A Miserable Failure!

 

he should ditch the GF and hook up with any of the on their knees Presstitutes schiiling for their Messiah!

He and Brian Williams would look good together if Brian had his ball gag in!

Posted by: ConcealedKerry or SubMitt at July 31, 2012 09:28 AM (vXqv3)

252 Rather than a wedding gift to these two...

Posted by: Obama Campaign at July 31, 2012 09:28 AM (ljHXt)

253

Apparently, Romney spokesman Rick Gorka also told those news nozzles to...."Shove it!".....after he told them to "Kiss my ass".

---

great, summing for the gay vote again

 

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at July 31, 2012 09:28 AM (SO2Q8)

254 I thought his cheeks were storing his extra cans of Skoal.

Posted by: Mitt at July 31, 2012 09:30 AM (MMC8r)

255 I got my wife by loading my cheeks full of Corn Nuts�

Did someone say something about fiwwing cheeks with nuts?

Posted by: Bawney Fwank at July 31, 2012 09:30 AM (5iuEW)

256 I can tell you with certainty that Mitt was not stepping out with this tart. He was over at my house rolling around in my gold with me.

Posted by: Scrooge McDuck at July 31, 2012 09:30 AM (1grxW)

257

SEIU?

I bet his knees are in good shape, must have a supervisor SEIU job!

Posted by: ConcealedKerry or SubMitt at July 31, 2012 09:30 AM (vXqv3)

258 @117

If you are flying in to Providence Town and a fella asks you for directions, remember you will be the only straight guy in town.

I am guessing you are?

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo-intellectual at July 31, 2012 09:31 AM (3ZjAP)

259 I'm betting this guy's toothbrush really is a TOOTHbrush.

Posted by: nickless at July 31, 2012 09:31 AM (MMC8r)

260 "hit him"?  Does she mean "her" or has she decided her computer was a male?

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at July 31, 2012 09:32 AM (P7hip)

261 Mug shot?

Gillette hardest hurt.

Posted by: Billy Bob, pseudo-intellectual at July 31, 2012 09:32 AM (3ZjAP)

262 243
BTW - according to the police report Lowell is age 40, weight 310.

But he carries it well.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at July 31, 2012 02:25 PM (kdS6q)



IT'S JUST BABY FAT!!!! HE'LL GROW OUT OF IT

Posted by: Lowell's Mama at July 31, 2012 09:33 AM (1grxW)

263

Any word on marble mouths job discription?

let me take a shot, sitting on his ass eating pizza and chips and collecting social security disability?

Posted by: ConcealedKerry or SubMitt at July 31, 2012 09:33 AM (vXqv3)

264 I am straight, but we're flying into Hyannis. The heart of Kennedy country.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 31, 2012 09:34 AM (7TwHV)

265 7
and yet he had a girlfriend...
  >>>>>>>>>   I would really like to see her picture. Then again maybe not.

Posted by: Javems at July 31, 2012 09:34 AM (nTgAI)

266 Any word on marble mouths job discription?

Assistant porn theater janitor.

Posted by: eleven at July 31, 2012 09:35 AM (KXm42)

267

OK engineering students, how much pressure to the front side of the knee cap would it take to put big guy down if three quarters of his weight were on that leg.

Find an Obama voter to test your theory on.

Posted by: ConcealedKerry or SubMitt at July 31, 2012 09:36 AM (vXqv3)

268

266Any word on marble mouths job discription?

Assistant porn theater janitor.

 

Just as I suspected! SEIU supervisory position.

Posted by: ConcealedKerry or SubMitt at July 31, 2012 09:39 AM (vXqv3)

269 Nice one Ace! lol

Posted by: Brian at July 31, 2012 09:39 AM (wTSvK)

270 den I look on her computer and sawd her boyfriend... he had byooootiful hair

Posted by: done seen 'im at July 31, 2012 09:40 AM (5UU+7)

271 After the commercial, we'll be joined by Lowell Turpin, the man whose girlfriend is allegedly having an affair with Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney. Turpin found out about the affair after seeing a personal message Romney had posted on his girlfriends Facebook page that read, "Dear... Thank you for...this morning. It's...you who make...dreams possible. I'm...thankful for...your...generous...jobs. Lo...ve...Mitt."

Posted by: NBC News at July 31, 2012 09:40 AM (Cegrh)

272 Romney is now a bully-wimp-homewrecker.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 31, 2012 09:41 AM (ZAYlH)

273 266 Any word on marble mouths job discription?

Assistant porn theater janitor.


No, no, it was assistant porn theater janitor trainee.

Posted by: Lowell Turpin at July 31, 2012 09:41 AM (5iuEW)

274 Posted by: Cicero at July 31, 2012 01:41 PM (QKKT0) Yeah me too!!

Posted by: Yoshi, Aggrieved Victim of the White Man at July 31, 2012 09:42 AM (csi6Y)

275 265 7 and yet he had a girlfriend...

>>>>>>>>>

I would really like to see her picture. Then again maybe not. Posted by: Javems at July 31, 2012 02:34 PM

--------------------------------

Bet you'd have a hard time telling him and her apart.

Posted by: irright at July 31, 2012 09:43 AM (5UU+7)

276 The Smoking Gun has the police report up. Apparently Turpin was convinced his live-in girl friend was going to meet Romney at The Breadbox, which I assume is a local restaurant.



Those Mormons are always looking to pick up an extra wife or two.

Posted by: The MFM at July 31, 2012 09:43 AM (/izg2)

277 Well, I think he's a fine looking young man.

Posted by: Jabba the Hutt at July 31, 2012 09:44 AM (T4wme)

278

If you are flying in to Providence Town and a fella asks you for directions, remember you will be the only straight guy in town.

Was in Provincetown about 8 years ago cuz we were vacationing in Yarmouthport and wife (Ohioan) wanted to see it. I obliged cuz it was a rainy day and I like a good freak show as much as the next guy. Our son was an infant at the time and was in the stroller.

We were walking down Commerical St (main drag in town) and son kept pointing at the various rainbow flags he saw on storefronts. As he was young and just starting to speak, he was pointing and saying: "Papa, fags!" I am not homophobic in any way, but I still had to stifle my guffaws as I tried to shush him. That and I was physically frightened that the 6'4" muscled up drag queen woulda heard him and beat my ass. True story.

Posted by: Ezra's Equal at July 31, 2012 09:49 AM (F3Ima)

279 Well, I think he's a fine looking young man.

Hands off, Jabba! I got him first!

Posted by: Roseanne Barr at July 31, 2012 09:49 AM (5iuEW)

280 Hey, that guy cleans up in that the theatre I go to. He's a good cleaner-upper!

Posted by: Fred Willard at July 31, 2012 09:52 AM (iAUf+)

281 Well, I think he's a fine looking young man.

Hands off, Jabba! I got him first!


Ladies, ladies, there's more than enough of me to go around!

Posted by: Lowell Turpin at July 31, 2012 09:54 AM (5iuEW)

282 Cousin Yadda!

Posted by: Jabba the Hutt at July 31, 2012 09:56 AM (FUozQ)

283 Oops, didn't realize somebody had already done a Jabba joke. Shoulda known it was a sure thing 200 comments in.

Posted by: jwpaine at July 31, 2012 09:57 AM (FUozQ)

284 275 265
7 and yet he had a girlfriend...



>>>>>>>>>



I would really like to see her picture. Then again maybe not.

Posted by: Javems at July 31, 2012 02:34 PM

--------------------------------

Bet you'd have a hard time telling him and her apart.   >>>>>>>   Here she is :  http://tinyurl.com/c28jtzp
 
 

Posted by: Javems at July 31, 2012 09:58 AM (nTgAI)

285 Note to self: wear flannel shirt and kilt to next Moron Meet-up.

Posted by: Eddie Willers at July 31, 2012 10:01 AM (bRdb3)

286 @ 284 My Eyes!!!! They Burn!

Posted by: Ed Wood vs Godzilla at July 31, 2012 10:02 AM (/w0Ry)

287

266Any word on marble mouths job discription?

-

Lets just say he'll never be seen wearing  a  white hardhat.

Posted by: Hal Burton at July 31, 2012 10:06 AM (iYvMQ)

288 Its a good thing she's not friends with Obama or some random black guy would get the dragging of his life.

Posted by: Hal Burton at July 31, 2012 10:08 AM (iYvMQ)

289 "The man is charged with one count of living in Tennessee, even though he is clearly a Florida resident."

-snip-

Just HAD to get all that pent-up hilarity (built up from the week off) out in one post, didn't ya?

Posted by: Sgt. York at July 31, 2012 10:15 AM (Mu5Fp)

290 Mah work? I picks up roadkills for the township. Deer gun season is whar I hits the jackpot. Cain't buy 'nuff chest freezers!

Posted by: Lowell Turpin, want some jerky? at July 31, 2012 10:22 AM (UUvh5)

291 Mr. Turpin is clearly an Obama supporter. This is a clear cut case of the Romney campaign using Facebook to suppress the vote. Federal Investigators are scrambling the jets to Florida as we speak.

Posted by: Attorney General Holder at July 31, 2012 10:43 AM (TuxdR)

292 Tennessee?  TENNESSEE?.....Nope....definitely has  Blue State Loser SNAP recipient written all over his close cousins-as-parents face...Aim higher, I mean further NORTH Ace ...or FAR west.....could be a Kalifornia genus type.  I see ATDC cheekbones in his pics....strong 32nds of intergenerational leech in his behavior pathology ...Unmistakable Blue State dependency syndrome. 

Posted by: redgrains at July 31, 2012 11:06 AM (TExGL)

293 ....can't stop laughing...

Posted by: packsoldier at July 31, 2012 11:42 AM (JZJ1+)

294 Maybe he thought Mitt was gonna stock her up on electrolytes from the breadbox. And fix her ecomony.

Posted by: lowfibass at July 31, 2012 11:43 AM (BrqlK)

295 The man is charged with one count of living in Tennessee, even though he is clearly a Florida resident. Posted by Ace I am so late to this party, but I had to comment on this-brilliant. Since we are in our last year in the "lovely" state of Florida, and can attest to the various meth house ignitions, killing 1000 year old trees by cooking meth, chainsaw murders (the town next to ours), the various zombie/vampire face-eating attacks, and the general "yuckness" of living here, we actually think the DC area could be better, and we have avoided living there like the plague.

Posted by: moki at July 31, 2012 11:52 AM (dZmFh)

296 There you go, another felony for Romney.

Posted by: Brian Ross needs a good teabagging at July 31, 2012 12:04 PM (Bxl+g)

297 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at July 31, 2012 03:00 PM (6o4Fb)

298 That guy has a girlfriend?She must way three bills,easy.

Posted by: steevy at July 31, 2012 03:01 PM (6o4Fb)

299 Someone has to be on the far left side of the bell curve.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - winding all down before jammie time at July 31, 2012 06:34 PM (gmoEG)

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