August 31, 2005

Good Bye To Ty
— Ace

Okay, this is a rant from a recovering reality tv whore and longtime INXS fan. Skip this if you don't watch the show. So, Ty finally got eliminated, as he should have been eliminated at least two weeks ago. They only kept him around, I'm pretty sure, because he was both black and gay, and not adverse to playing the black/gay card. I think he was sincere about it -- I think he didn't realize he was "playing" a card at all -- but he simply blamed every set back on the American public's dislike of his skin color. Or his sexual preference. Well, he didn't mention the latter, but that was a lot more obvious than the former.

Yeah, he was black. I guess you noticed that. But he was really, really, really gay. SUPRAGAY, in fact.

It was the gay thing more than the black thing that held him back from winning the contest to be INXS' new lead singer. But more importantly-- he wasn't a good rock and roll singer.

On the black thing-- I just don't believe that America, or INXS, would mind a black singer. It might even give them a bit of needed cache.

On the gay thing -- look, there are Rupert Everett gays who are quite attractive to women. Even Alan Cummings, I'm guessing, is attractive to women, although he seems pretty queeny. Still, I'm guessing, women dig him.

Ty wasn't one of those kind of gays. He wasn't really very attractive, he was constantly crying like a little girl, and I can't think many women viewed him as some sort of "conversion" sexual challenge as they might think of Rupert Everett. Rupert Everett is a challenge; Ty would have been scaling Mount Everest without oxygen after running an Ironman triathalon.

I'm sorry, but if you're fronting a pop band that appeals to a lot of chicks, you sort of want someone chicks are going to have a crush on.

But forget about that. The real problem with this guy is that he was not a rock and roll singer, let alone a rock and roll frontman or star, in any way, shape, or form. He was okay with soulful and reggae songs; but, in case he hadn't noticed, INXS is not really a soul, reggae, or R&B band. They're a rock band with a lot of dance-pop influence.

And the guy was way too Broadway. Having him front INXS would have been like having Ethel Murmann front AC/DC.

On American Idol, Simon is always saying that singers are "too caberet" or "too musical theater." In Ty's case, he was "too understudy to Pontius Pilate in an all-gay production of Godspell."

A little example: One week he was asked to sing Proud Mary. He could have done the Creedence Clearwater Revival ROCK version of the song. No, instead, he does the R&B/Vegas-show-extravaganza Tina Turner version of it.

There's a certain sensibility and set of conventions which go with rock singing, and Ty didn't have any of that. He kept talking about how great his performances were, and yeah, he had a good voice, but rock singers can't necessarily sing show tunes and Broadway musical singers can't necessarily sing rock.

Tonight, to save his skin, he had to sing INXS' first big hit (as far as I know, though some say there was an earlier lesser hit), (It's The) One Thing. He blew the lyrics-- and not just the lyrics, but the MAIN repeated lyrics in the chorus. Rather than singing, correctly "It's the one thing/you are my thing," he sang "It's the one thing/your are my one thing." A small difference, but when you're trying out to be the frontman of a big band, it's probably best to know the f'n' CHORUS of one of their biggest, earliest hits.

Anyway, the guy should have booted from the show weeks ago; Deanna, a husky-voiced classic-rock power singer, also wasn't right for INXS' sound, but at least she was singing some form of rock. Instead, they kept Ty, because they didn't want to be seen as anti-black or anti-gay.

Well, he finally got kicked off the show, and yes, on national TV, he accused the American public, and maybe INXS, of being anti-black (and maybe anti-gay, too; he was sort of vague). He whined again how he wasn't getting the respect he should get based upon his amazing talent (PS, he wasn't so amazing), and he said he knew exactly why he kept being voted into the bottom three. By which he meant-- you hate me because I'm black.

This guy is a whiny crybaby asshole. There were sixteen or so contestants on the show; obviously, fifteen of them are going to lose, for one reason or another. But this guy could not imagine any other possible reason for not winning other than the fact that America hates gay black men.

Were the women booted because America hates women? Certainly there must be a bias against having a woman as lead singer of INXS. The women have more right to complain about bias than Ty.

Maybe they just figured he was better suited to singing torch-songs. Which he definitely would be. But of course that didn't occur to him.

There are some genuinely talented people on the show, and I'm sure several of them will end up fronting rock bands. Ty won't be one of them, because he's just not a rock singer. He might do well in local musical theater, but who the hell wants to see a rock band fronted by a guy who's perpetually on the verge of tears and who thinks that Tina Turner is a rock icon worthy of emulating?

What About Freddy Mercury? Eh, what about him? I'm sure he didn't pull in sixteen year old female fans, either. His weird look and gay-bar style of dress weren't a plus. He got by on little things, like a tremendous voice and great songwriting.

I know Freddy Mercury. Freddy Mercury was a friend of mine. And Ty, you are no Freddy Mercury.

Maybe if you write a Bohemian Rhapsody (or even a Fat Bottomed Girls) we can talk about how oppressed you are.

What About Cindy Sheehan? Glad you asked. She's not really cut out to front INXS, either, and Dave and Gary Garry and Co. explain why.

Posted by: Ace at 07:58 PM | Comments (30)
Post contains 1067 words, total size 6 kb.

1 That was a pathetic 'speech.' I don't know where this sudden racial self-awareness of race came from all of a sudden; first he was "the only one who [could] sing soul," then his 'people' are oppressed by the rock genre.

Posted by: John from WuzzaDem at August 31, 2005 08:20 PM (Pt3Le)

2 It's not sudden; he was hinting at the race card after his first trip to the bottom three. I don't know if you watch the show on VH1 where they show the clinics and time at the mansion, but that's where his previous race-card-playing has been seen.

Posted by: ace at August 31, 2005 08:28 PM (bRL9O)

3 Nope, CBS. I'll have to watch the VH1 shows.

Or maybe I could get a life.

Nah, I'll go with the VH1 thing.

Posted by: John from WuzzaDem at August 31, 2005 08:30 PM (Pt3Le)

4 And of course blacks can be rock singers, and have been.

Just not Ty. I really couldn't believe he did the Tina Turner version of Proud Mary.

That was wrong on so many levels I can't tick them all off.
I have a feeling that if he had his own choice of songs he'd do Cher's Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves.

Posted by: ace at August 31, 2005 08:31 PM (bRL9O)

5 Think everyone's figured out yet that JD's "amazing re-arrangements' of songs are just done to disguise the fact that he can only sing a total of three notes (two solidly, and two more half-assedly with a lot of vibrato wobbling)?

Posted by: ace at August 31, 2005 08:33 PM (bRL9O)

6 I think he's been fooling a lot of people, but the more he shows his real personality (total douchebag), the worse his voice sounds.

He only really pulled that 'rearrangement' thing off a couple of times, after that he was just doing what any other lounge singer would do; change a note here and there and calling it his own 'interpretation.'

Posted by: John from WuzzaDem at August 31, 2005 09:15 PM (Pt3Le)

7 I haven't ever seen the show, so I'm not qualified to comment on Ty -- but don't be so quick to slag Tina Turner for her versions of rock songs until you've heard her and Ike doing "Whole Lotta Love."

(The best part was in the middle - instead of lots of "Ay! Ay! Ay! Ay!", you hear "Bitch, get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich 'fore I put my hand on you again!!")

Posted by: Alex at August 31, 2005 10:46 PM (AgRxe)

8 I bet the boys in INXS are breathing a sigh of relief. Did you notice they dismissed previous contestants with "you're just not roit for our bend," but dismissed Ty on the pretext that he'd simply been in the bottom three too often? Evidently they felt is was better to blame the voters than risk a racial discrimination lawsuit.

In other news, Ty just released a new CD titled: If You Don't Buy This CD You're a Racist.

Posted by: Selby at August 31, 2005 10:47 PM (SjBdm)

9 I actually rewound Ty's speech on my DVR just to make sure that I had correctly heard what he said. I was stunned. He must subscribe to the Jesse Jackson school of thought that says if you don't get what you want, then clearly, it's racism.

Sorry Ty, it wasn't racism. You just sucked.

Posted by: Steve L. at September 01, 2005 03:55 AM (hpZf2)

10 Due to the fact that I was STUPID, it never even occured to me at the time that Freddie Mercury was gay. I figured it out the hard way. When he died of AIDS my moment of enlightenment came when I understood the rest of the world had put together the Queen/gay joke at least 3 years before it even crossed my mind. Now i have super-sensitive gaydar and figured out that Ty was gay and a real pain on the third show!

Posted by: j. at September 01, 2005 04:27 AM (Fo0qP)

11 Steve L,

That's exactly what I did.

Whaaaaa? [rewind] WTF?

Posted by: John from WuzzaDem at September 01, 2005 06:05 AM (Pt3Le)

12 Thank God. I was so sick of that asshole. Now if we can just get rid of JD....

Thank God also that there are people (read "guys") who are willing to admit that they watch the show. I don't feel quite so gay, now.

I'm amazed by how much Susie has come along. She not only has a great voice, but her personality and stage presence have been blowing me away the last two or three weeks.

And yes, Marty cried the other night, but I still like him. He and Mig are the only two contestants who would fit into the band.

Posted by: CraigC at September 01, 2005 06:43 AM (tuR4i)

13 As much as I like Susie, I have to say I was disappointed in the extreme by her reaction to JD getting in her face. She should have told him to fuck off. I guess it's the whole Oprahization thing. "Oh, I want to be caring and compassionate, I'm so sorry, blah, blah, blah."

Also, she's a chick, so there's that.

Posted by: CraigC at September 01, 2005 06:53 AM (tuR4i)

14 I love this site-BOC and INXS (and guest visits from wuzzadem)! There will never be a replacement for MH in I'll watch their old concerts and videos...I miss his voice , his moves.....his hair.

okay-gotta go pull it together..sniff...

Posted by: from the south at September 01, 2005 07:47 AM (4D+WC)

15 That's part of the problem with Ty (and others). You don't want to (and couldn't even if you did) install a Michael Hutchence clone as the frontman, but Hutchence had a certain way of singing. The songs won't sound right if they're sung by someone who can't at least come close to that sound.

AC/DC's Bon Scott was replaced by Brian Johnson, who, while no Bon Scott, sort of had the same type of voice.

Marty can do the Hutchence whispery voice, and he seems to be the same tone as Hutchence. Mig is a bit of a teen hearthrob type singer -- sometimes I wonder if he's trying out to replace David Cassidy in the Patridge Family -- but he's a professional and has a good range and can probably come sorta close to Hutchence when he wants to.

People like Ty just don't sound anything at all like MH, not the same tone or style, and people like JD just can't really sing at all.

So it's either Mig or Marty. Mig can probably take it, being a fellow Australian and a real professional, but only if he stops singing in his sometimes too-pretty voice and tries to sound a little more like MH. If he can't do that or doesn't do that, it's Marty.

Posted by: ace at September 01, 2005 09:45 AM (hBAty)

16 Ace:

After reading your rant and your posts, how can you in good conscious describe yourself as a *recovering* reality tv whore? Where's the recovery? Where's the working the steps?

Posted by: at September 01, 2005 10:01 AM (Ehvu2)

17 God grant me the insight to know which reality tv shows I should watch;

the forebearance to avoid those I should not;

and the wisdom to know the difference.

One day at a time, brother. One day at a time.

Posted by: ace at September 01, 2005 11:07 AM (hBAty)

18 Good boy. : )

Posted by: at September 01, 2005 12:00 PM (Ehvu2)

19 AC/DC's Bon Scott was replaced by Brian Johnson, who, while no Bon Scott, sort of had the same type of voice.

That's a mighty big 'sort of.' You're right - Johnson is no Bon Scott. He's just a screamer. Raspy screamer, but a screamer. Scott was unique, and the band was never the same without him.

As far as who's going to win INXS, it's Mig. I thought so early on, and I think they're just sending all these signals to Marty to throw people off.

Posted by: John from WuzzaDem at September 01, 2005 12:42 PM (Pt3Le)

20 I'm pretty sure Brian May wrote "Fat Bottomed Girls".

In any case, I've never seen this show(and never will), but there's little doubt that if this guy could sing anything like Freddy Mercury, they would have have ended the show after the first episode. Yes, he was really, really gay(or bisexual, depending on how you define it), and he really wasn't a heartthrob, but it didn't matter.

Posted by: Bill at September 01, 2005 01:28 PM (P5OZL)

21 INXS appeals to a lot of chicks???? you're kidding right? Michael appealed to a lot of chicks, but the rest of those geezers? No way!!

INXS were great 20 years ago and their music is still great and I will continue to listen to it but I won't ever go to see the band again. IMHO no one can replace Michael, and it's not like the band hasn't tried a few times before!!! They should accept the fact that once they were great but now they are a bunch of has-beens! Enjoy the memories of your past but don't live it!

Honestly, Ty is gay???? 'struth! knock me over (not up!) !! I thought he was hot right up until he opened his mouth - my god, those teeth!

And you are so wrong about Freddie - sex on a stick - Mercury!!! It was different times back then in the 80s I grant you but I and just about all my teenage girlfriends drooled over him. I had the great fortune to meet him in Sydney and I can tell you I would not have kicked him out of my bed (unless of course he wanted to do it on the floor!). ah, the 80s..........

Posted by: Anita at September 01, 2005 08:13 PM (O81zL)

22 Queen also, despite their name, unveiled the flaming homogay thing gradually, subtly, over their first few albums. (As subtly as possible in the glam ethos of the day.)

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