April 29, 2007
— Ace Physicists are baffled by the seemingly impossible. Noted structural engnieer Rosie O'Donnell could not be reached for comment.
A section of freeway that funnels traffic off the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge collapsed early Sunday after a gasoline tanker truck overturned and caught fire, authorities said.
The heat from the fire was intense enough to melt part of the freeway and cause the collapse, but the truck's driver walked away from the scene with second-degree burns.
Scientists from the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, Lawrence Livermore Laboratory, and CERNE Laboratories are petitioning the government to cordon off the area to keep the site of this unprecedented event pristine enough for scientific investigation. "It's like witnessing the live birth of a new universe," Normal Druvovitch of JPL said. "
Physicist Kip Thorne believes the area may in fact be a "naked singularity," a region in space in which the normal physical laws that govern the universe simply fail to operate. He suggests that the National Guard be activated to surround the area at a "safe distance," in order to keep the curious well away from the site. "Strange energies may be radiating from the wreckage as we speak," Thorne said. "Bizarre forms of radiation, atoms and quarks previously unseen in our reality. Maybe even wizards riding dinosaurs and crazy shit like that."
Any dork who's ever pulled a cable in the overhead of an office building has seen that spray crap on the steel girders that looks like gray oatmeal. It's a fire retardant.
It also works as a thought retardant, and I'm sure Rosie bumped her head on some of that shit.
Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 29, 2007 04:13 PM (FXakj)
Posted by: JayC at April 29, 2007 04:19 PM (4xbsD)
Posted by: stace at April 29, 2007 04:20 PM (A56/D)
That's not oatmeal? Damn! And I thought I was just getting more macho with my new ability with to eat endless amounts of X-tra Spicy chicken wings.
Posted by: dri at April 29, 2007 04:22 PM (koO9y)
Posted by: dri at April 29, 2007 04:25 PM (koO9y)
So the real question is, why would BushMcCheneyHitler want to bring down this bridge?
Wake up you sheple before it's too late!
Posted by: Drew at April 29, 2007 04:26 PM (gNyUT)
Posted by: stace at April 29, 2007 04:26 PM (A56/D)
Posted by: Lew Clark at April 29, 2007 04:40 PM (AslFD)
Trust no one.
No photos of the "driver" yet. What gives?
Maybe cuz thay used a robot truck to "accidentally" crash and burn.
Area 51 is written all over this.
Posted by: eman at April 29, 2007 04:47 PM (FWrFx)
Posted by: loosescrews at April 29, 2007 04:53 PM (CUVj3)
Can't talk now......no time......it's starting.....where are all the bees?
Posted by: Fox Mulder at April 29, 2007 04:57 PM (FWrFx)
Has she ever retracted her statement? Has anyone confronted her about it? When are the Popular Mechanics guys going to appear on The View? Who watches The View besides Allahpundit? Since he's on vacation, I wonder if he is going to be in the studio audience. hmmm.
Posted by: daveg at April 29, 2007 05:00 PM (UrGAE)
Posted by: Dogstar at April 29, 2007 05:02 PM (iddx7)
I sure hope fire don't melt aluminum because if it do then I gots to get me some more hat liners.
Posted by: dri at April 29, 2007 05:03 PM (koO9y)
WAIT!!! Getting a signal over my tin hat, It was a tanker truck with mcdonald's frys lard on its way to rosie's secret hideout.
That shit will burn up anyhing, execept Rosies fat ass.
Posted by: kempermanx at April 29, 2007 05:04 PM (wPrkc)
where are all the bees?
That line is best said with a high-pitched shrilly voice.
I heard one clown say that the bees are blind and can't find their way home. I can't believe how many people are buying this crap.
Posted by: Bart at April 29, 2007 05:07 PM (mA76R)
Posted by: OU_Gryphon at April 29, 2007 05:30 PM (HPU22)
Posted by: Rosie Orca'Donnell at April 29, 2007 05:33 PM (VRjm9)
Posted by: Brown Line at April 29, 2007 05:37 PM (oggk3)
There's nothing new about this. The only thing eternally new is the willful stupidity of Rosie and the millions like her.
Posted by: Brown Line at April 29, 2007 05:45 PM (oggk3)
can google my clit
i'd do it myself
i can't reach
Posted by: rosie o at April 29, 2007 06:02 PM (0140v)
Posted by: Rosie Orca'Donnell at April 29, 2007 06:15 PM (VRjm9)
Posted by: JPS at April 29, 2007 06:16 PM (nZ8iQ)
I refuse to accept the official government version of this incident. To me, it looks like a event staged by Big Oil under the orders of Bush/Cheney/Haliburton to "prove" Rosie wrong. She got too close to the truth, man.
Posted by: wiserbud at April 29, 2007 06:26 PM (56ssE)
Posted by: nixon at April 29, 2007 06:39 PM (LtAoK)
This is like the Gulf of Tonkin all over again, man.
Tomorrow Emperor Bush will call for revenge on the gasoline that did this.
And then we'll be in another war for oil.
Lots of layers here, people.
Posted by: Tin Foil de Blog at April 29, 2007 06:41 PM (faxKj)
Lots of layers here, people.
... of tinfoil.
Posted by: OU_Gryphon at April 29, 2007 08:02 PM (HPU22)
Posted by: joeindc44 at April 29, 2007 08:25 PM (NVtLY)
Posted by: Purple Avenger at April 29, 2007 09:49 PM (ivi7/)
Posted by: ushie at April 30, 2007 12:53 AM (ScVon)
fuck, the sad thing is is there is an army of stay at home moms who are eating that shit up without critical thought.
Ok, now I'm really confused! Are you trying to insinuate that maybe it's not true?
I'm going back to my soaps where life makes sense again....
Ruth "Stay Home Mom" Ruben
Posted by: Ruth at April 30, 2007 03:18 AM (DTwYZ)
Why were there no jews on the freeway at the time of this bridge collapse?
Cause they got the "call", that's why.
And the truck driver? CIA written all over him. It takes special super secret government training to crash a truck, sustain 2nd degree burns and walk away from it. Google that shit for the reals.
Posted by: Sticky B at April 30, 2007 04:36 AM (/91PP)
Posted by: Toby928 at April 30, 2007 05:14 AM (ATbKm)
Posted by: Hmmmm... at April 30, 2007 05:22 AM (FQ+GL)
Or.... has anybody seen Ralph Nader since then?
The Truth is waaay the hell out there.
Posted by: Rob at April 30, 2007 05:33 AM (WGGXy)
Posted by: stace at April 30, 2007 06:16 AM (A56/D)
The roadway sat unoccupied (more or less) for hours before the 3:45 a.m. crash -- plenty of time to install explosives and route the cabling. And it fell downward, evidence of a controlled demolition.
Also, note that the "truck" was badly damaged in the explosion and fire, conveniently destroying the evidence.
Posted by: Tom at April 30, 2007 06:25 AM (02oyd)
"The Truth is waaay the hell out there."- Rob*snort*
Posted by: Pupster at April 30, 2007 10:13 AM (NMGPj)
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