November 28, 2014

First Star Wars Trailer Released
— JohnE.

Geek-enjoy or nerd-hate it below.

Posted by: JohnE. at 05:28 AM | Comments (445)
Post contains 15 words, total size 1 kb.

1 YESSSSSSSS

Posted by: Kuro Shogun at November 28, 2014 05:30 AM (gSZ7U)

2 Is Chris Pratt in this too?

Posted by: EC at November 28, 2014 05:31 AM (doBIb)

3 Crappy A$$ trailer is all I gotta say.

Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at November 28, 2014 05:32 AM (AiKJm)

4 WUT? No Jar-Jar?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) [/i][/u][/s] at November 28, 2014 05:33 AM (/dvmK)

5 +1- No George Lucas -1- Spaceships fighting within what looks like feet of a surface?? RLLY?? -1 Cute CGI robots... -1 Yet another funky lightsaber blade someone only thought of to boost toy sales.. I dunno.. Everything so far reeks more of cheese than a Gorgonzola factory...

Posted by: Jar-Jar at November 28, 2014 05:34 AM (6Tra/)

6 That light saber looked awfully Christiany to me...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) [/i][/u][/s] at November 28, 2014 05:34 AM (/dvmK)

7 I liked the part where the green guy with the funny ears says, "He's dead, Jim!"

Posted by: Anderson Cooper's Smoked Sausages at November 28, 2014 05:35 AM (MbqmP)

8 First shot of a character: looks like the comedic black doofus from a Michael Bay film. Second shot of a character: Lena Dunham in a burka getting ready to kick some ass. This is gonna suck.

Posted by: Jar Jar Binks at November 28, 2014 05:36 AM (zg/IS)

9 Posted by: Jar-Jar at November 28, 2014 10:34 AM (6Tra/) Oh, thank The Force that you're still here, buddy! Who else would spew authentic Star Wars (TM) gibberish in this movie but you?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) [/i][/u][/s] at November 28, 2014 05:37 AM (/dvmK)

10 It looks a little silly, but part of me likes that someone finally did something about the basic design flaw in lightsabers.

Posted by: Methos at November 28, 2014 05:38 AM (A6vWB)

11 The actor in role of the volcano went a little over the top, IMHO.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) [/i][/u][/s] at November 28, 2014 05:38 AM (/dvmK)

12 Meesa say dissa movie is muy-muy Sucky-Sucky

Posted by: Jar-Jar at November 28, 2014 05:38 AM (6Tra/)

13 My first thought was "It's Key and Peele!"

Posted by: All Hail Eris at November 28, 2014 05:38 AM (QBm1P)

14 Does this one have the ewoks or the spice? 
The cannon is getting confusing.

Posted by: Kindltot at November 28, 2014 05:38 AM (t//F+)

15 Fuck you Lucas and Abrams you are going to break my damn heart.

Posted by: alexthechick at November 28, 2014 05:38 AM (tjQsL)

16 Fuck you Lucas and Abrams you are going to break my damn heart.

Posted by: alexthechick at November 28, 2014 05:38 AM (tjQsL)

17 Enriching Hollywood? Yeah, no.

Posted by: Thin veneer of civility at November 28, 2014 05:40 AM (XzRw1)

18 Okay, when the black guy pops up in the Stormtrooper armor in the desert, I wanted him to yell "WE AIN'T FOUND SHIT!"

Posted by: --- at November 28, 2014 05:40 AM (MMC8r)

19 Sorry, but it was those fvccing teddy bears that ruined star warts for me.

Posted by: Anderson Cooper's Smoked Sausages at November 28, 2014 05:40 AM (MbqmP)

20 Anybody got a link? I looked on YourToob and found a really crappy one.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire [/i][/s][/b][/u] at November 28, 2014 05:40 AM (0HooB)

21 16 Fuck you Lucas and Abrams you are going to break my damn heart.

Posted by: alexthechick at November 28, 2014 10:38 AM (tjQsL)

 

Well Lucas already raped your childhood with the last three.  So that's actually an improvement.

Posted by: buzzion at November 28, 2014 05:40 AM (zt+N6)

22 Get much more of your cash, we will.

Posted by: Yoda,Inc. at November 28, 2014 05:41 AM (2DVgX)

23 -1- Spaceships fighting within what looks like feet of a surface?? RLLY??

They flew atmospherically in the early movies, and the clip wouldnot have been any more hazardous than flight in an asteroid field or *inside* the second death star.

Posted by: Methos at November 28, 2014 05:41 AM (A6vWB)

24 Where is this story set chronologically?

Posted by: toby928(C) at November 28, 2014 05:41 AM (rwI+c)

25 A LONG TIME AGO, IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY?

Posted by: Bob's House of Flannel Shirts and Wallet Chains at November 28, 2014 05:41 AM (yxw0r)

26 Is it gonna be real Star Wars or a fanboi homage to Star Wars? It's like the new Star Trek movies. They may be okay, but it's like a pastiche of ST tropes: impetuous Kirk, cocked Vulcan eyebrow, grumpy Bones, green chicks, etc. Not bad, just not really Trek IMHO.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at November 28, 2014 05:41 AM (QBm1P)

27 They asked me to reprise my role as the Death Star but I know these assholes are gonna fuck it up.

Posted by: Brian Dennehy at November 28, 2014 05:42 AM (87y4e)

28 The trailer looks like a lot of flashy J.J. Abrams over-the-top eye candy. Unfortunately, this is what he usually considers 'plot.'

Posted by: --- at November 28, 2014 05:42 AM (MMC8r)

29 18 Okay, when the black guy pops up in the Stormtrooper armor in the desert, I wanted him to yell "WE AIN'T FOUND SHIT!" Posted by: --- at November 28, 2014 10:40 AM (MMC8r) Hah! Spaceballs FTW!

Posted by: Insomniac at November 28, 2014 05:42 AM (mx5oN)

30 Lenz Flarez!

Posted by: Anderson Cooper's Smoked Sausages at November 28, 2014 05:42 AM (MbqmP)

31 THAT, was an f'in trailer?

Srsly?


Somebody shoot me now.

Posted by: Gmac- Pondering...something involving rope and a tree at November 28, 2014 05:42 AM (baiNQ)

32 Okay wait the only way for a storm trooper to survive is by going all dark side? Because I would believe that.

Posted by: alexthechick at November 28, 2014 05:42 AM (tjQsL)

33 And, for the kids in all of us. Into The Woods https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Byk9Is3TjY Dec. 25th

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 28, 2014 05:43 AM (IXrOn)

34 They asked me to reprise my role as the Death Star but I know these assholes are gonna fuck it up. So that really WAS your exhaust port?

Posted by: --- at November 28, 2014 05:43 AM (MMC8r)

35 >>Okay, when the black guy pops up in the Stormtrooper armor in the desert, I wanted him to yell "WE AIN'T FOUND SHIT!" . . .OK, that's just wrong.

Posted by: Colonel Sanders at November 28, 2014 05:44 AM (AiKJm)

36 Where is this story set chronologically?

After the original trilogy, by enough margin that the original actors can play their old parts.

Canon or not Heir to the Empire did point out that there was a shitload of Imperial fleet left after the battle of Endor, so plenty of stormtrooper armor and TIE fighters around for anyone that wants to use them.

Posted by: Methos at November 28, 2014 05:45 AM (A6vWB)

37 I didn't get enough off the trailer for love or hate. The soccer ball droid was retarded. I did like the overall look of things, which seemed to go more for the grittiness of the real Star Wars movies, as opposed to the sterile CGI world of the shitty Star Wars movies.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 28, 2014 05:45 AM (mx5oN)

38 No spit-roasting teddy bears with a side order of lizard, so I gather that Lucas has yet to recant his heresies.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) [/i][/u][/s] at November 28, 2014 05:45 AM (/dvmK)

39 God, that reeked of JJ Abrams. Look for massive plot holes and unbelievable coincidences.

His "Star Trek" movie was ruined for me when Kirk was marooned on a planet, ran into a cave and Spock just happened to be in that particular cave on that particular spot on that particularly huge fucking PLANET.

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at November 28, 2014 05:45 AM (4ckfx)

40 So that really WAS your exhaust port?

It's Hollywood baby.  You wouldn't believe what kind of kink some of these directors are into.

Posted by: Brian Dennehy at November 28, 2014 05:45 AM (87y4e)

41 Better than I expect.  Let's see what they do. Better than Lucas I guarantee.  

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at November 28, 2014 05:46 AM (P1oZa)

42 Also - I didn't realize the Imperial Stormtrooper Corps had an affirmative action program. I denounce myself.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 28, 2014 05:46 AM (mx5oN)

43 First storm-trooper's face we ever see, and he is black?  Better hope for the sake of the Rainbow Justice Warrior Brigade that the black dude is one of the good guys and he's just stolen that storm-trooper rig from a white guy with blue eyes.


I did like Brian Dennehy starring in this one as The Milky Way Galaxy.

Posted by: Sharkman at November 28, 2014 05:46 AM (Goin7)

44 Crap, now I have to get a new lightsaber. That one looked way better than mine.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 28, 2014 05:46 AM (IXrOn)

45 Some elements are interesting, but I'm sure I speak for many: I've got a bad feeling about this.

Posted by: adc at November 28, 2014 05:46 AM (kh/Q7)

46 First the toys are released in time for Black Friday, then the trailer ? Wow. Revenues must be down. OT: Anyone else get the impression that the only thing between some retailers and Chapter Whatever is a good Christmas season ? Decorations went up and carols started playing at the beginning of November around here.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at November 28, 2014 05:47 AM (+jyzN)

47 Teh Dark Side. A black stormtrooper. Coincidence? Even if it's not, I denounce myself.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire [/i][/s][/b][/u] at November 28, 2014 05:47 AM (0HooB)

48 45 Some elements are interesting, but I'm sure I speak for many: I've got a bad feeling about this. Posted by: adc at November 28, 2014 10:46 AM (kh/Q7) IT'S A TRAP!!!

Posted by: Insomniac at November 28, 2014 05:47 AM (mx5oN)

49
My favorite movie-memory is attending the opening night of the original "Star Wars", back in May 1977. I'd never heard of it, but my brother insisted we go, so I tagged along. We went to the old Esquire Theater in Chicago, and by hook and crook (mostly by crook) got the best seats in the house: balcony front row center. The theater was packed, and from the opening crash of John Williams' score was into the movie like I've never experienced before or since. And the movie itself, with its computer-guided camera shots, was an revelation, light-years beyond what any movie had done before. The story was good, too: a version of "The Search for the Secret King", with just the right mix of humor and action. The mumbo-jumbo about The Force propelled the plot along, without getting in the way. Of course, I've seen much better movies since then, and the other "Star Wars" movies ranged from mediocre to abysmal; but never have I enjoyed an evening at the movies as much as I did that night.

And you know, seeing that trailer brought back a bit of the thrill I felt that night in 1977. I won't say that December 2015 can't come soon enough - at my age, you want time to go *slower* - but when it gets here, I'll probably be lined up with the other geeks and nerds.

Posted by: Brown Line at November 28, 2014 05:48 AM (a5bF3)

50 Black Imperial Trooper? "Dark Side"? This all sounds pretty racist to me. Right after a turkey sammich, I'm going to stop traffic and riot.

Posted by: jwest at November 28, 2014 05:48 AM (vwlGK)

51 Meesa say dissa movie is muy-muy Sucky-Sucky Posted by: Jar-Jar at November 28, 2014 10:38 AM (6Tra/) hehe

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 28, 2014 05:48 AM (IXrOn)

52 45 Some elements are interesting, but I'm sure I speak for many: I've got a bad feeling about this. Posted by: adc at November 28, 2014 10:46 AM (kh/Q7) IT'S A TRAP!!! They came from...behind!!!!1!

Posted by: adc at November 28, 2014 05:48 AM (kh/Q7)

53 44 Crap, now I have to get a new lightsaber. That one looked way better than mine. Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 28, 2014 10:46 AM (IXrOn) I did like the lightsaber. Like a laser-powered claymore.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 28, 2014 05:48 AM (mx5oN)

54 Crap, now I have to get a new lightsaber. That one looked way better than mine. Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 28, 2014 10:46 AM (IXrOn) I want the outfit too.

Posted by: alexthechick at November 28, 2014 05:48 AM (tjQsL)

55 Re: Stormyroopers. Aren't they a little short? *wavies to AlextheChick* 55k words and going. Hope you had a great turkey day.

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 28, 2014 05:49 AM (XhS3T)

56 I am approaching this trailer thoughtfully, objectively. Looks like some real crap.

Posted by: kraken at November 28, 2014 05:49 AM (5+mPY)

57 *rubs hand together in glee*

Posted by: Mrs. Plinkett at November 28, 2014 05:49 AM (IXrOn)

58 52 45 Some elements are interesting, but I'm sure I speak for many: I've got a bad feeling about this. Posted by: adc at November 28, 2014 10:46 AM (kh/Q7) IT'S A TRAP!!! They came from...behind!!!!1! Posted by: adc at November 28, 2014 10:48 AM (kh/Q7) Well, it's Hollywood. They're into that sort of thing.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 28, 2014 05:49 AM (mx5oN)

59 Gooood. Gooooood. Let the hate flow through you. Such cynics. I'm very excited about the new movies.

Posted by: Hamilton at November 28, 2014 05:50 AM (a3+wd)

60 Kinda underwhelming opening. Just a guy in the desert in a storm trooper suit.

Posted by: Nigel West Dickens at November 28, 2014 05:51 AM (Ktnum)

61 So far it looks like crap.

Posted by: Deathknyte at November 28, 2014 05:51 AM (ckDea)

62 Better than I expect. Let's see what they do. Better than Lucas I guarantee.

There's X-Wings and TIE Fighters.

Which means another X-Wing/TIE Fighter game.

Win.

Posted by: Methos at November 28, 2014 05:51 AM (A6vWB)

63 57 *rubs hand together in glee* Posted by: Mrs. Plinkett at November 28, 2014 10:49 AM (IXrOn) Yeah. The review will be priceless.

Posted by: kraken at November 28, 2014 05:51 AM (5+mPY)

64 Now, unleash your anger! Only your hatred can destroy me and my penchant for lens flare!

Posted by: JJ Abrams at November 28, 2014 05:51 AM (mx5oN)

65 This movie could be mind-blowingly awesome on every level and people would still find some way to bitch about it. There will never be a Star Wars movie that pleases the hardcore Star Wars fans.

Posted by: RedStick at November 28, 2014 05:52 AM (c/8Z0)

66 "Lost" proved that JJ Abrams is the laziest, "let's do this cuz it'll be kewl" writer/director in Hollywood.

Established canon? Fuck it, we'll "reboot". While still exploiting the tropes for all they're worth.

Well-thought-out long range plotline? Fuck it, we'll make it up as we go along.

Remember how Walt in the beginning of "Lost" was supposed to be important?

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at November 28, 2014 05:52 AM (4ckfx)

67 Pre-alpha trailer felt like a farce. Is it April 1st?

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 28, 2014 05:52 AM (IXrOn)

68 My eight year old boy -- the target audience -- LOVES the trailer.  Wants to see the movie NOW.  Refuses to understand that he has to wait 13 months.

Posted by: Ed at November 28, 2014 05:52 AM (4HYng)

69 I am approaching this trailer thoughtfully, objectively. Looks like some real crap. Typical Disney Hype Machine bullshit. They've already wrapped up shooting but this thing won't be released for another year = brace yourself. SW VII: The Search for More Money.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire [/i][/s][/b][/u] at November 28, 2014 05:52 AM (0HooB)

70 I've got a bad feeling about this.

Posted by: adc at November 28, 2014 10:46 AM (kh/Q7)



ISWYDT

Nicely done.

Posted by: Sharkman at November 28, 2014 05:53 AM (Goin7)

71 've got a bad feeling about this. Posted by: adc at November 28, 2014 10:46 AM (kh/Q7) ISWYDTNicely done. Posted by: Sharkman at November 28, 2014 10:53 AM (Goin7) Aye. Threadwinner

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at November 28, 2014 05:53 AM (IXrOn)

72 His "Star Trek" movie was ruined for me when Kirk was marooned on a planet, ran into a cave and Spock just happened to be in that particular cave on that particular spot on that particularly huge fucking PLANET. It was earlier than that for me. Young Kirk steals a Corvette, but the cops are on hover-bikes, and civilization has transporters and all sorts of other conveyances... My question is...why are there roads? So Kirk can steal the car, of course. Roads that run right to a thousand foot cliff.

Posted by: --- at November 28, 2014 05:53 AM (MMC8r)

73 They're combing the desert.

Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 05:53 AM (MQEz6)

74 Did they ever tell you what was eating people in Lost?

Posted by: Nigel West Dickens at November 28, 2014 05:54 AM (Ktnum)

75 72 His "Star Trek" movie was ruined for me when Kirk was marooned on a planet, ran into a cave and Spock just happened to be in that particular cave on that particular spot on that particularly huge fucking PLANET. It was earlier than that for me. Young Kirk steals a Corvette, but the cops are on hover-bikes, and civilization has transporters and all sorts of other conveyances... My question is...why are there roads? So Kirk can steal the car, of course. Roads that run right to a thousand foot cliff. Posted by: --- at November 28, 2014 10:53 AM (MMC8r) In Iowa.

Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 05:54 AM (MQEz6)

76 It's like the new Star Trek movies. They may be okay, but it's like a pastiche of ST tropes: impetuous Kirk, cocked Vulcan eyebrow, grumpy Bones, green chicks, etc. Not bad, just not really Trek IMHO. Nailed it! I watched Into Darkness and came away thinking "Wasn't a bad movie, but it felt zero like Star Trek". It was just some random sci-fi movie. (Have to admit Carol Marcus in bikini underwear worked well, it really moved the plot along)

Posted by: weirddave at November 28, 2014 05:55 AM (KAmzK)

77 Kinda underwhelming opening. Just a guy in the desert in a storm trooper suit.

But it means they're going back to Tatooine for some reason, since it's the only planet in the galaxy with a desert. So Big White Blur nostalgia.

Posted by: Methos at November 28, 2014 05:55 AM (A6vWB)

78 Such cynics. I'm very excited about the new movies. Posted by: Hamilton

---------------

Be honest - you were pretty excited about "Phantom Menace" too, right?

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at November 28, 2014 05:55 AM (4ckfx)

79 Dude with red saber -> Assasin's Creed Sith Liord. They may need Star Lord and Groot to save this movie.

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 28, 2014 05:55 AM (XhS3T)

80 I got it! Spaceballs is SW VII's "Making of" documentary.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire [/i][/s][/b][/u] at November 28, 2014 05:56 AM (0HooB)

81 (Have to admit Carol Marcus in bikini underwear worked well, it really moved the plot along) That wasn't the only thing that moved...

Posted by: Insomniac at November 28, 2014 05:56 AM (mx5oN)

82 57

*rubs hand together in glee*

Posted by: Mrs. Plinkett at November 28, 2014 10:49 AM (IXrOn)


Fuck off, ghost!!

Posted by: Mr. Plinkett at November 28, 2014 05:56 AM (u9OP6)

83 Yeah, I bitch about it, but I'll be in line on opening day like a battered fangrrl. About to take Turkey 2.0 out of the oven, then it's off to the scrum. There's a nerd boutique shop on my list, I'll see what manner of Star Wars thingummies they're hawking.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at November 28, 2014 05:57 AM (QBm1P)

84 Unmask Dark Vader and find a pasty white guy Unmask a Storm Trooper and find a fit black guy StarWars is RACIST!

Posted by: BlueFalcon in Boston at November 28, 2014 05:57 AM (A1Dcl)

85 Unmask Darth Vader and find a pasty white guy Unmask a Storm Trooper and find a fit black guy StarWars is RACIST!

Posted by: BlueFalcon in Boston at November 28, 2014 05:57 AM (A1Dcl)

86 79 Dude with red saber -> Assasin's Creed Sith Liord. They may need Star Lord and Groot to save this movie. Posted by: Anna Puma at November 28, 2014 10:55 AM (XhS3T) Rocket Raccoon. He would own in the Star Wars universe.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 28, 2014 05:57 AM (mx5oN)

87 74 Did they ever tell you what was eating people in Lost? Posted by: Nigel West Dickens at November 28, 2014 10:54 AM (Ktnum) Dunno. I packed it in after season 4 or so. Ennui onset. By then, I would have killed every one of them, especially fricking Jack, or Jake, whoever.

Posted by: kraken at November 28, 2014 05:57 AM (5+mPY)

88 God, that reeked of JJ Abrams. Look for massive plot holes and unbelievable coincidences. His "Star Trek" movie was ruined for me when Kirk was marooned on a planet, ran into a cave and Spock just happened to be in that particular cave on that particular spot on that particularly huge fucking PLANET. I could never get past the Romulan going back in time and rather than thinking 'Hey! I can save my home world and everyone I love!' He sits somewhere in space for decades plotting revenge for events that haven't happened yet.

Posted by: toby928(C) at November 28, 2014 05:57 AM (rwI+c)

89 OT: Anyone else get the impression that the only thing between some retailers and Chapter Whatever is a good Christmas season ? Decorations went up and carols started playing at the beginning of November around here.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at November 28, 2014 10:47 AM (+jyzN)


That's why today is called "Black" Friday.  Traditionally, retailers are running "in the red" up until today, when they finally at least break even for the year; hence, "in the black" as a green eye-shade accountant guy would say.  Then they harvest their profit for the year from now until New Year's Eve.

Posted by: Sharkman at November 28, 2014 05:57 AM (Goin7)

90 Virgin Alert!

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire [/i][/s][/b][/u] at November 28, 2014 05:58 AM (0HooB)

91 *rubs hand together in glee* Posted by: Mrs. Plinkett at November 28, 2014 10:49 AM (IXrOn) Fuck off, ghost!! Posted by: Mr. Plinkett at November 28, 2014 10:56 AM (u9OP6) Never bite the hand that feeds.

Posted by: Mrs. Plinkett at November 28, 2014 05:58 AM (IXrOn)

92 (Have to admit Carol Marcus in bikini underwear worked well, it really moved the plot along)

Best work I've done in ages.

Posted by: Brian Dennehy at November 28, 2014 05:59 AM (NF2Bf)

93 1. I love Star Wars. 2. I'll wait for Redbox.

Posted by: f2000 at November 28, 2014 05:59 AM (ONKYQ)

94 "why are there roads? So Kirk can steal the car, of course."

"Roads that run right to a thousand foot cliff."

"In Iowa."

------------------

BWAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

Aaaaaand... there's your JJ Abrams right there! Nicely done, guys.

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at November 28, 2014 05:59 AM (4ckfx)

95 Be honest - you were pretty excited about "Phantom Menace" too, right? Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at November 28, 2014 10:55 AM (4ckfx) You shut your whore mouth.

Posted by: alexthechick at November 28, 2014 05:59 AM (tjQsL)

96 I've got a bad feeling about this.

Posted by: adc at November 28, 2014 10:46 AM (kh/Q7)


Movie released Dec 2015


Moved to walmart $5 bargin bin Jan 2016?

Posted by: GMB - Tyrant 2nd Class at November 28, 2014 05:59 AM (C8x6r)

97 It is forbidden to show a Stormtrooper without his helmet. It erases what they represent. I have a that's no moon feeling about this movie.

Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 05:59 AM (MQEz6)

98 Posted by: weirddave at November 28, 2014 10:55 AM (KAmzK) 10,000 "journalists" from CNT, Verge, Polygon, etc. will be over to ensure you stop your "crimethink" in about 10 minutes.

Posted by: tsrblke, PhD(c) And father to be in 5 (short) weeks! [/i] [/b] [/s] at November 28, 2014 05:59 AM (HDwDg)

99 * phone rings * Um, hello? (sleepily) Abrams, you again? WUT? Another movie? Star Wars, you say? Plenty of action for me, you say? Oh, FFS, why don't you pick on some other Tired Trope (TM), like Man's Inhumanity to Man, or All Power Corrupts, but Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely? Matt Damon's got an ironclad lock on 'em, you say? Look, JJ, you're killing my credibility by going to my well ALL THE TIME! I mean, you're just slaying me, kid! Last time, you say? Swearsies? Umm... well I guess so. Word of warning JJ: cross me on this one and I'll go all out on YOUR ass personally, and not in a good way! Okay, okay, see you in two weeks. Bye! * hangs up * Fcuking hack... -- A Day in the Life of Deus Ex Machina

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) [/i][/u][/s] at November 28, 2014 06:00 AM (/dvmK)

100 97 It is forbidden to show a Stormtrooper without his helmet. It erases what they represent. I have a that's no moon feeling about this movie. Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 10:59 AM (MQEz6) Chewie, lock in the auxiliary power!

Posted by: Insomniac at November 28, 2014 06:00 AM (mx5oN)

101 Seeing the Mellenium Falcon do some shit was nice. 

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at November 28, 2014 06:01 AM (P1oZa)

102 What a dumb trailer. As a big fan of star wars. It was released senior year of my HS and I went to see the original movie 7 times. I was enthralled by it.
Now they are just lame.

Posted by: bossy barbara at November 28, 2014 06:01 AM (79RKq)

103 Posted by: Anderson Cooper's Smoked Sausages at November 28, 2014 10:40 AM (MbqmP)

Don't talk shit about your host.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 28, 2014 06:01 AM (Zu3d9)

104 Posted by: alexthechick at November 28, 2014 10:59 AM (tjQsL)

You know what's unforgivable about this entire shit-show (aside from the 439 other things that are unforgivable)?

They killed the best character in the entire series: Darth Maul.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 28, 2014 06:03 AM (Zu3d9)

105 As long as it has Chris Pratt.

Posted by: Everybody loves Chris Pratt! at November 28, 2014 06:03 AM (zwdxl)

106 105 As long as it has Chris Pratt. Posted by: Everybody loves Chris Pratt! at November 28, 2014 11:03 AM (zwdxl) And a double-decker couch.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 28, 2014 06:04 AM (mx5oN)

107 I am still pissed they didn't eat the polar bear in Lost.

Posted by: alexthechick at November 28, 2014 06:04 AM (tjQsL)

108 The Federation are fascist. Weight till we meat out justice to the fascists in the galactic streets.

Posted by: Fight the Powwow[/i] at November 28, 2014 06:04 AM (zxQ4h)

109 The trailer already has more action than Lucas wold have done. But I have no clue what the move could possibly be about other than the millennium falcon is involved.

Posted by: SH at November 28, 2014 06:05 AM (gKbDy)

110 I will wait for proof that the black guy is a stormtrooper.  Just because he's got on the armor is not a guarantee.

Posted by: buzzion at November 28, 2014 06:05 AM (zt+N6)

111 Is there a Black Friday riot at Tachi station over discounted power converters?

Posted by: Insomniac at November 28, 2014 06:05 AM (mx5oN)

112 It is forbidden to show a Stormtrooper without his helmet.

It erases what they represent.


You're assuming he's a stormtrooper and not just wearing the armor (as Han and Luke did). On a related note, I'm interested to see where they go with the 'all stromtroopers are Jango Fett clones' notion. Obviously that was introduced in the prequels, but part of his characterization was bumping his head on a door the same way some trooper did in the originals.

Posted by: Methos at November 28, 2014 06:05 AM (A6vWB)

113 Was that R2D2's love child?

Posted by: davidt at November 28, 2014 06:05 AM (fBxC6)

114 Wow, I never get to see Ace ads, but for some reason they pop up now.


Ace has IWC watches advertising?  WTF.  I have several, but I would not think the horde  profile would fit their sales demographics.



Wait, I have five.  OK how did someone figure out to advertise IWC watches at the HQ??


Posted by: Nip Sip at November 28, 2014 06:06 AM (0FSuD)

115 You're assuming he's a stormtrooper and not just wearing the armor (as Han and Luke did). On a related note, I'm interested to see where they go with the 'all stromtroopers are Jango Fett clones It's Jango Unchained!

Posted by: Insomniac at November 28, 2014 06:06 AM (mx5oN)

116 Toby the Abrams Trek plot hole for Nero? The comic fans who love it will tell you, as they lift their nose up, that you must read the comics for that story. What is this story? That for twenty years Nero was captured by the Klingons. But escaped and got his ship back. I never bothered to waste any money to see Into the Darkness because I knew it would a failed attempt to top the original Wrath of Khan. Which happened to show how out of ideas they were for trying to ret-con that into the new universe. "To boldly go where no man has gone before." Ha!

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 28, 2014 06:06 AM (XhS3T)

117 10 It looks a little silly, but part of me likes that someone finally did something about the basic design flaw in lightsabers. You mean how difficult it is to use them to punch a hole in a can of beer?

Posted by: Anachronda at November 28, 2014 06:06 AM (Nto2L)

118 What a dumb trailer. As a big fan of star wars. It was released senior year of my HS and I went to see the original movie 7 times. I was enthralled by it. Now they are just lame. As much as I hate to admit it, I've seen the original over 30 times. It was and remains my all time fave. Too bad George Lucas ran out of imagination after that first one. If there were really 12 episodes of that trilogy, I'll personally beat off a Bantha.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire [/i][/s][/b][/u] at November 28, 2014 06:06 AM (0HooB)

119 113 Was that R2D2's love child? Posted by: davidt at November 28, 2014 11:05 AM (fBxC6) It's on a soccer ball, so apparently there are Eurofag droids.

Posted by: Insomniac at November 28, 2014 06:07 AM (mx5oN)

120 What do mean it doesn't have Chris Pratt? It's a science fiction movie, of course it has Chris Pratt!!

Posted by: Everybody loves Chris Pratt! at November 28, 2014 06:07 AM (zwdxl)

121 I certainly hope they continue the Star Wars prequel tradition of shot/reverse-shot and sitting on couches.  Though, the couches will need to be shiny in order for the lens flare to make any kind of sense.

Posted by: Big McLargehuge at November 28, 2014 06:09 AM (u9OP6)

122 OK how did someone figure out to advertise IWC watches at the HQ?? Dude/Dudette you are being tracked from the moment you enter the internet until you close the last PornTube tab at night.

Posted by: Snidely Whiplash[/i] at November 28, 2014 06:09 AM (zxQ4h)

123 You know what's unforgivable about this entire shit-show (aside from the 439 other things that are unforgivable)? They killed the best character in the entire series: Darth Maul. Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 28, 2014 11:03 AM (Zu3d9) He is not dead. He is off with Snape and Lupin plotting revenge.

Posted by: alexthechick at November 28, 2014 06:09 AM (tjQsL)

124 15 Fuck you Lucas and Abrams you are going to break my damn heart Before Ep 1 came out, I was working for a company trying to build a kind of sort of videoconferencing program for Macs. We used that episode one trailer as one of our test videos, streaming it from machine to machine through our codecs 24x7 in our lab. So disappointed by the movie. Midichlorians, indeed!

Posted by: Anachronda at November 28, 2014 06:10 AM (Nto2L)

125 The trailer already has more action than Lucas wold have done. But I have no clue what the move could possibly be about other than the millennium falcon is involved.

If we're betting, I'd go with something similar to Heir to the Empire. Lot's of leftover Imperial war machine and someone finds a dark force user to coordinate it. With bonus points if the big bad is an evil Luke cloned from his hand.

Posted by: Methos at November 28, 2014 06:10 AM (A6vWB)

126 @122
Dude/Dudette you are being tracked from the moment you enter the internet until you close the last PornTube tab at night.

Posted by: Snidely Whiplash at November 28, 2014 11:09 AM (zxQ4h)


So this must explain the random hooks that show up at my house at night?


Posted by: Nip Sip at November 28, 2014 06:11 AM (0FSuD)

127 What's an aluminum falcon?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) [/i][/u][/s] at November 28, 2014 06:11 AM (/dvmK)

128 112 It is forbidden to show a Stormtrooper without his helmet. It erases what they represent. You're assuming he's a stormtrooper and not just wearing the armor (as Han and Luke did). On a related note, I'm interested to see where they go with the 'all stromtroopers are Jango Fett clones' notion. Obviously that was introduced in the prequels, but part of his characterization was bumping his head on a door the same way some trooper did in the originals. Posted by: Methos at November 28, 2014 11:05 AM (A6vWB) Oh, so they're disguising good guys in Stormtrooper armor? Original times ten. Maybe the awakening is someone finds out Stormtrooper armor doesn't do anything.

Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 06:11 AM (MQEz6)

129 >>What a dumb trailer. As a big fan of star wars. It was released senior year of my HS and I went to see the original movie 7 times. I was enthralled by it. Now they are just lame. Me too. That first fall of college it was playing in the local movie theater. We had to report to school two weeks early for football camp and since they had nothing to do with us at night they gave us free tickets to the movie theater. Saw it almost every night for two weeks. That will change you. Everything since has been a let down.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 28, 2014 06:12 AM (g1DWB)

130 What is this story? That for twenty years Nero was captured by the Klingons. But escaped and got his ship back. You just 'splained that in five seconds. How come JJ couldn't do it when he had 1.5 hours?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire [/i][/s][/b][/u] at November 28, 2014 06:12 AM (0HooB)

131 Leia turning to the dark side would be a great story.

Posted by: davidt at November 28, 2014 06:12 AM (fBxC6)

132 Screw you haters!  Gettin' paid baby, gettin' paid.

Posted by: Mark Hamill at November 28, 2014 06:13 AM (BrQrN)

133 I'm laughing at the superior intellect.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at November 28, 2014 06:13 AM (fIv/H)

134 127
What's an aluminum falcon?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) at November 28, 2014 11:11 AM (/dvmK)


It's something the KOS kids wear on their heads will screaming about the Koch bother.



Only available in upper West Side sto s and Harlem.

Posted by: Nip Sip at November 28, 2014 06:14 AM (0FSuD)

135 You mean how difficult it is to use them to punch a hole in a can of beer?

In any lightsaber fight we've seen, the first move after the blades are held against each other always should have been a stroke down the length of the blade to cut the other guy's fingers off.

Posted by: Methos at November 28, 2014 06:14 AM (A6vWB)

136 December 2015? A trailer now for a movie due out a year from now? I see dead marketing people.

Posted by: SpongeBobSaget at November 28, 2014 06:16 AM (zauWW)

137 In any lightsaber fight we've seen, the first move after the blades are held against each other always should have been a stroke down the length of the blade to cut the other guy's fingers off.

Heh.  And Obamacare doesn't cover that.  Jedis are idiots.

Posted by: Jonathan Gruber at November 28, 2014 06:16 AM (BrQrN)

138 With bonus points if the big bad is an evil Luke cloned from his hand. No, Like's hand was cloned into the scuttling critters that attach to your face in Aliens. It was necessary under Asimov's Rule of Must Tie Together Every Sci-Fi Story Created With Specious and Tenuous Plot Devices and Threads (TM) AKA I Need Moar Money!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) [/i][/u][/s] at November 28, 2014 06:16 AM (/dvmK)

139 Looks like an Obamanation. He'll probably be shopped in as that storm trooper for release time.

Posted by: james at November 28, 2014 06:17 AM (rVEMe)

140 Other people have birthdays, why are we treating this like a funeral?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at November 28, 2014 06:17 AM (fIv/H)

141 Stormtrooper was backed by Imperial droid encryption chatter. The X-Wing fighter pilot had the Rebel Alliance symbol on his helmet and the ships looked beat up and dirtier than usual. Drop ship full of stormtroopers looked spitshined and were issued standard E-11's. Just because the Emperor got killed doesn't mean much to a Galactic Empire, I think the thinking goes. Plus, clone troopers were always limited numbers. Costs less to conscript - a stunned and split Empire wouldn't spend extra to vat-grow obedient soldiers when the lash and conscription would be cheaper. I am a geek, yes.

Posted by: Inspector Cussword at November 28, 2014 06:17 AM (scgac)

142 Oh, so they're disguising good guys in Stormtrooper armor?

Not necessarily good. Anyone who ever played the Star Wars RPG will tell you that at some point everyone of any interest raids an Imperial base and steals that armor.

Posted by: Methos at November 28, 2014 06:17 AM (A6vWB)

143 Okay, I am going to defend into darkness. I thought that it was good and if you're going to redo the franchise you kind of have to redo WoK. Well, you don't have to have to, but it took me a while to figure out that it was Khan. The Spock as Liam Neeson piece left me a bit cold but if he can be banging Zoe Saldana I guess he could also be kicking ass. Many episodes of TOS were dreck and you know, the movies, only the even ones were good, right? If he hadn't included the tropes people would be pissed at him. I thinking going after the canon is kind of no win, though, so at least he made the nods in the right places.

Posted by: blaster at November 28, 2014 06:18 AM (Rx8ML)

144 130 What is this story? That for twenty years Nero was captured by the Klingons. But escaped and got his ship back. You just 'splained that in five seconds. How come JJ couldn't do it when he had 1.5 hours? Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire at November 28, 2014 11:12 AM (0HooB) Cuz it was trey stupid. The reboot writers wrote themselves into a corner with their trick of changing the events of Kirk's birth. Oops, the Romulan has to hang around for 25 years. Oh shit, what do we do? I know! He's captured by the Klingons and tortured for 25 years, then he escapes with his crew and intact ship and all their old motivations in place, ready for action. There is no surer sign of the end times than the the ST reboot.

Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 06:18 AM (MQEz6)

145 I remember Star Wars. It was an interesting movie, long, long ago. However all the sequels have moved far, far, away from the original story. I mean, Jar Jar Binks? And Ewoks are either highly evolved Tribbles, or -more likely- the result of Chewie's dalliance with a miniature schnauzer. I'm not sure I can handle another prequel OR sequel. I am thinking: This is not the movie you're looking for....

Posted by: Lokki at November 28, 2014 06:18 AM (a5F9g)

146 X-wings are always a plus

Posted by: H badger at November 28, 2014 06:18 AM (+xIXD)

147 So, what's the accepted nomenclature for the series?

Mine is:

Star Wars
The Empire Strikes Back
Shit
Shit
Shit
Shit
Upcoming Shit

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 28, 2014 06:19 AM (Zu3d9)

148 142 Oh, so they're disguising good guys in Stormtrooper armor? Not necessarily good. Anyone who ever played the Star Wars RPG will tell you that at some point everyone of any interest raids an Imperial base and steals that armor. Posted by: Methos at November 28, 2014 11:17 AM (A6vWB) Ack! You can't bring games into the movies! Fetch the comfy chair!!

Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 06:19 AM (MQEz6)

149 Austin shooter was white male in his 50s. Happened at 2:30. Bars nearby close at 2. Shot over 100 rounds yet killed no one. He has a criminal history. No bombs. No bomb vest. Suicide by cop?

Posted by: ThunderB at November 28, 2014 06:23 AM (zOTsN)

150 Roads that run right to a thousand foot cliff. Posted by: --- at November 28, 2014 10:53 AM (MMC8r) In Iowa. Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 10:54 AM (MQEz6) They are rare, but they do exist in Iowa: http://wildwomenwanderers.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/kate.jpg There is a heritage railroad that uses a ridge over a huge gorge.

Posted by: AmishDude at November 28, 2014 06:23 AM (b4b5c)

151 True story - When Ep. 1 came out I was working as a contractor for a tech company. Manager told our team that the entire company was going for a multi-hour off-site meeting and that those of us who were contractor's would want to be there, but we wouldn't be allowed to bill for our time. I got pissed. Hey, asshole, I'm not an employee, you can't jerk me around like that. I'm a contractor -- you pay me by the hour. You want me to work late - pay me! you want me to work overtime - pay me! you want me to attend a multi-hour off-site meeting? You freakin' pay me!! He hemmed and hawed about how everything would be clear once we got to the multi-hour off-site meeting. That I just needed to relax. But I wasn't having it, I knew my rights, dammit! Finally he pulled me into his office and told me ... the company had rented out the local theater to treat everybody to an opening day Star Wars Ep 1 showing -- even the contractors. I said well, then, in that case ... thank you ... and I slunk back to my desk.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 28, 2014 06:23 AM (zwdxl)

152 Barry, I am your father.

Posted by: Frank at November 28, 2014 06:24 AM (Dwehj)

153 36 Canon or not Heir to the Empire did point out that there was a shitload of Imperial fleet left after the battle of Endor, so plenty of stormtrooper armor and TIE fighters around for anyone that wants to use them.

Maybe they'll show us the ecological catastrophe that resulted from all that debris raining down on Endor.

Posted by: Anachronda at November 28, 2014 06:24 AM (coJ1L)

154 You can't bring games into the movies!

Show of hands-who here ever slaughtered the guy who just surrendered because getting your jedi character a dark force point gave him or her 'gravitas'?

Posted by: Methos at November 28, 2014 06:25 AM (A6vWB)

155 I'm thinking Thanksgiving bender with suicide by cop chaser

Posted by: ThunderB at November 28, 2014 06:25 AM (zOTsN)

156 Primary point of this trailer: Hey kids! A black guy and a strong woman! Diversity must be served.

Posted by: tsj017 at November 28, 2014 06:25 AM (YiIiy)

157 Hang on. If it's all Dark Side-y... It WANTS you to be mad. Your anger feeds and strengthens it.

Posted by: Secundus, M.D. at November 28, 2014 06:25 AM (hv9/n)

158 What we ought to celebrate is the forthcoming end to Peter Jackson's movie making career. After The Hobbit: CGI Goes Apeshit's release next month, dude has exhausted Tolkien's works. Cut! Roll credits and fade out! to his career.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) [/i][/u][/s] at November 28, 2014 06:27 AM (/dvmK)

159 Hey kids! A black guy and a strong woman!

Not nearly inclusive enough. Unacceptable.

Posted by: The Joint Chiefs and NASA at November 28, 2014 06:28 AM (Dwehj)

160 Nice touch the chick was wearing a burka.

Posted by: Diversity is Strength at November 28, 2014 06:28 AM (zwdxl)

161 62 There's X-Wings and TIE Fighters.

Which means another X-Wing/TIE Fighter game.


But it's 20 years later, so fashions should have moved along. The X-Wings and TIE fighters should have really big tailfins by now.

Posted by: Anachronda at November 28, 2014 06:29 AM (coJ1L)

162 Unless Jackson has got his hands on the Silmarillion...

Posted by: Piercello at November 28, 2014 06:29 AM (JybVy)

163 Yes, Han called him, "Chewy." Yes, I'm on a mission to improve child nutrition. No, it's just a coincidence.

Posted by: Michelle O at November 28, 2014 06:29 AM (fBxC6)

164 vulcanoes?

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at November 28, 2014 06:29 AM (F+xWX)

165 158 What we ought to celebrate is the forthcoming end to Peter Jackson's movie making career. After The Hobbit: CGI Goes Apeshit's release next month, dude has exhausted Tolkien's works. Cut! Roll credits and fade out! to his career. Oh yeah?

Posted by: The Silmarillion at November 28, 2014 06:30 AM (Rx8ML)

166 OK, I'm late. Catching up. Here's everything you need to know. Another Star Wars? Such imagination these people have. That photo of the trees and snow? There's a sasquatch in the there if you look really hard. The rioters/protestors/community organizers? They don't care about Michael Brown, it's all about them. They are glad he got killed so they'd have this excuse to act out. OK, you can all take a nap now. You're welcome.

Posted by: Meremortal at November 28, 2014 06:30 AM (1Y+hH)

167 Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) at November 28, 2014 Two words: Extended editions

Posted by: Secundus, M.D. at November 28, 2014 06:30 AM (hv9/n)

168 We are all going to see it no matter what. How many of us have watched the trailer about 30 tines by now?

Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 06:31 AM (MQEz6)

169 There's X-Wings and TIE Fighters. Which means another X-Wing/TIE Fighter game. Win I think I need to change my pants.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at November 28, 2014 06:31 AM (10ydV)

170 159 Hey kids! A black guy and a strong woman! Not nearly inclusive enough. Unacceptable. Don't worry. The word on the street is that Princess Liea makes a return which reveals her as a Queen IYKWIMAITYD

Posted by: Lokki at November 28, 2014 06:32 AM (a5F9g)

171 And CNN retard is calling it a mass shooting even though the onlyerson shot was the shooter And reddit is saying he was most likely an antigovernment protester

Posted by: ThunderB at November 28, 2014 06:32 AM (zOTsN)

172 After The Hobbit: CGI Goes Apeshit's release next month, dude has exhausted Tolkien's works.

*Ahem*

Posted by: The Silmarilion at November 28, 2014 06:33 AM (A6vWB)

173 dude has exhausted Tolkien's works.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) at November 28, 2014 11:27 AM (/dvmK)

Oh..."The Hobbit" movie?

Because I read The Hobbit, and as far as I can tell, there is about 1% overlap.

It has nothing to do with Tolkien, other than the name.

Bastard! I was really looking forward to it.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 28, 2014 06:33 AM (Zu3d9)

174 168 We are all going to see it no matter what.

How many of us have watched the trailer about 30 tines by now?

Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 11:31 AM (MQEz6)

 

I haven't, and I'm not going to point fingers at anyone here but -

 

*glances and gives nudging nod in alexthechick's direction*

Posted by: buzzion at November 28, 2014 06:33 AM (zt+N6)

175 How does that oil tank fly and why is it flying

Posted by: SarahW at November 28, 2014 06:33 AM (Lbv/k)

176 Episode 8 will over the Affordable Medical Droid Act

Posted by: Secundus, M.D. at November 28, 2014 06:34 AM (hv9/n)

177 There's an endless stream of new video games set in Middle Earth. I'm sure they can make new movies if they want to. It's all about the Mega-Franchise these days. I'ts like RPGs, the big studios want at least one: 1) Scifi/Space Mega-Franchise 2) Superhero Mega-Franchise 3) Fantasy/Magic Mega-Franchise Marvel's trick is they are using their Superhero Mega-Franchise to create a Scifi/Space Mega-Franchise (Guardians) and Fantasy/Magic Mega-Franchise (Dr. Strange).

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 28, 2014 06:34 AM (zwdxl)

178 It needs X-wing fighters that turn into giant robots.

Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 06:34 AM (MQEz6)

179 Inclusive? Lucas had a gay robot in 1977. C3PO was the first gay machine, which opened the way for iPhones. That's trendsetting, man.

Posted by: --- at November 28, 2014 06:34 AM (MMC8r)

180 The trailer looks like two sides of the same old coin.  Unfortunately for fans, it's a Mardi Gras dubloon -- put it back in the sock drawer, along with that Coupe DeVille I found in the bottom of a Cracker Jack box.

Posted by: Bomber Bob at November 28, 2014 06:34 AM (XH6EZ)

181 Light Saber... with Quillions? Had to think about it for a second... could be dangerous to yourself.... but... I've fenced for 30 years.... and I don't think I've ever nailed myself with my own quillion....

Posted by: The Big Bad Wolf at November 28, 2014 06:35 AM (f0pWu)

182 Farmer Giles of Ham could be a fine movie. In the right hands.

Posted by: davidt at November 28, 2014 06:35 AM (fBxC6)

183 104 You know what's unforgivable about this entire shit-show (aside from the 439 other things that are unforgivable)?

They killed the best character in the entire series: Darth Maul.


Darth Maul is only the best character because he wasn't around long enough for them to try to fill in his backstory. In actuality, he's just a misunderstood geek who spends all his spare money working on the shrine to Hello Kitty he keeps in his mom's basement.

Posted by: Anachronda at November 28, 2014 06:36 AM (coJ1L)

184 It needs X-wing fighters that turn into giant robots.

I've seen X-Wing Transformer toys.

I resisted the urge to get it.

Posted by: Methos at November 28, 2014 06:36 AM (A6vWB)

185 The sith lightsaber looks cheap.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at November 28, 2014 06:36 AM (10ydV)

186 Yeah, I'm not getting any sense of "Welp, that confirms it, this is going to suck." just from the teaser. Or maybe it's there and I'm just glad that this guy in the cloak is walking through an actual snowy forest with actual trees that are actually there and not a soundstage painted solid green. I'm at least curious to see where they go with this.

Posted by: Dan Kojak at November 28, 2014 06:37 AM (zfjOq)

187 What would have nailed it for me is if the dude with the lightsaber pulled a cigar and lit it up with the flamey things coming out the sides...  and then turned to the camera and it's Ahhnold Schwarzennegger and he winks and says "I'll be back"..

They DID say it was a teaser trainer, right?

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at November 28, 2014 06:38 AM (/9Mak)

188 Barry, I am your mother.

Posted by: ValJar Binks at November 28, 2014 06:38 AM (Dwehj)

189 What sort of mickey mouse nonsense is this?

Posted by: BurtTC at November 28, 2014 06:38 AM (TOk1P)

190

It's very inclusive in that the first thing we see is a black stormtrooper. Unfortunately, he still will be the first to die.

And we see a female character being all manly, which is so nice.

If that horrible disaster of a Star Trek movie is an indicator, this will suck badly, because they won't be simple in their morality, and will have to amke sure someone like "Nute Gunray" is the evil person thing.

Fuck them, in advance.


Posted by: Rev. Dr. E Buzz Miller at November 28, 2014 06:38 AM (jzdfJ)

191 I still don't get why Jedi don't carry blasters or thermal detonators. I realize it's Errol Flynn swashbuckling in space, but even he used guns occasionally

Posted by: Secundus, M.D. at November 28, 2014 06:39 AM (hv9/n)

192 So have we shit on each other's preferences yet or are we just getting warmed up?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at November 28, 2014 06:39 AM (GEICT)

193 Guys, it's a TEASER trailer. Compare the Age of Ultron teaser, which was basically audio clips from the preceding Marvel movies, as Ultron's helmet was slowly revealed, to the amazeballs "no strings on me" extraveganza we just got six months out. This teaser already has a darker and more serious tone than all three of the prequels. I'm cautiously optimistic. And as far as the droid goes, the droids were always there for comic relief. Not worried.

Posted by: Emile Antoon Khadaji at November 28, 2014 06:40 AM (CrJzY)

194 Snow? Crap! It's the Holiday Special: Episode II We''re doomed.

Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 06:41 AM (MQEz6)

195 Marvel's trick is they are using their Superhero Mega-Franchise to create a Scifi/Space Mega-Franchise (Guardians) and Fantasy/Magic Mega-Franchise (Dr. Strange). There is only One Constant in the verse: if Disney gets their claws in it, they'll ruin it.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire [/i][/s][/b][/u] at November 28, 2014 06:41 AM (0HooB)

196 Darth Maul is popular for the same reason Boba Fett is. Cool costume, badass rep, neat weapon, two lines of dialogue, no backstory.

Posted by: Secundus, M.D. at November 28, 2014 06:41 AM (hv9/n)

197

Well at least we haven't gotten the standard "Hollywood is all evil liberals and you should refuse to ever watch anything for entertainment again, POLITICS 24/7 OR YOU'RE THE PROBLEM TOO! YEARGHHH!!!" rant yet.

Posted by: buzzion at November 28, 2014 06:41 AM (zt+N6)

198 watched chitty chitty bang bang with the boy and thought Gezz if they remade that for modern day the Toot Sweet scene would be all illegals in bad spanglish

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at November 28, 2014 06:41 AM (F+xWX)

199 Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at November 28, 2014 11:39 AM (GEICT)

Preferences?

There is only one preference around here, and everything else is RINO.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 28, 2014 06:42 AM (Zu3d9)

200 Shit, I forgot that Tim Benzedrine and Hashberry - I meant Tom Bombadril - were left out of LotR. There's plenty of shit left for Hackson to exploit... damn!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) [/i][/u][/s] at November 28, 2014 06:42 AM (/dvmK)

201 Not nearly inclusive enough. Unacceptable.

Posted by: The Joint Chiefs and NASA at November 28, 2014 11:28 AM (Dwehj)


But does the "future" now include any muz?

Posted by: Hrothgar at November 28, 2014 06:43 AM (fL/7/)

202 Well Lucas already raped your childhood with the last three. So that's actually an improvement.

Posted by: buzzion at November 28, 2014 10:40 AM (zt+N6)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No shit, right ?  How anyone can come back from that shit Lucas put out and trash this as well, I have no idea.  Please, transport yourselves back to 1977 and bathe in it, already.  Good lord. 

It's like Star Wars bashing has become a sport.  Fuck off already

Posted by: deadrody at November 28, 2014 06:43 AM (meyeF)

203 Preferences? There is only one preference around here, and everything else is RINO. Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 28, 2014 11:42 AM (Zu3d9) I assume that preference is "hate all the things"?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at November 28, 2014 06:43 AM (GEICT)

204 We had the space shuttle to look forward to in the late '70s/early '80s. Now we can eagerly await the next witch hunt striving to break the bonds of gaudy apparel.

Posted by: Darth Avatar at November 28, 2014 06:44 AM (KG1MP)

205 Unless Jackson has got his hands on the Silmarillion... Posted by: Piercello at November 28, 2014 11:29 AM (JybVy) Or gets another billion to film his Tolkien fan fic. Buzzion I am offended. That you think it's only 30 times.

Posted by: alexthechick at November 28, 2014 06:44 AM (tjQsL)

206 109 -

Even the word "preference"  is  something  the communists invented.

We're already  f**ked if we're talking about preferences. 

Posted by: BurtTC at November 28, 2014 06:44 AM (TOk1P)

207 The black storm trooper will help heal us post-Ferguson.

Posted by: MacGruber wrote Obamacare at November 28, 2014 06:44 AM (nlQae)

208 Where's the Big Red Ball? Everything by JJ Abrams has to have the Big Red Ball.

Posted by: Emmett Milbarge at November 28, 2014 06:44 AM (nFdGS)

209 "hate all the things"?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at November 28, 2014 11:43 AM (GEICT)

Of course!

But especially the Irish.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 28, 2014 06:44 AM (Zu3d9)

210 Cameos of the Emperor from Robot Chicken would seal the deal for me.

Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 06:45 AM (MQEz6)

211 Everything I know about making movies, I learned by watching re-runs of Entourage, but somehow some of those scenes in the trailer don't seem "finished". Like when the chick is tooling away on that scooter thing, just seems tacky and cartoonish. The scenes with the spacecraft zinging across the water, or the Millennium Falcon bit near the end, those looked ready for prime time.

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 28, 2014 06:45 AM (2cS/G)

212 Light Saber... with Quillions? Had to think about it for a second... could be dangerous to yourself.... but... I've fenced for 30 years.... and I don't think I've ever nailed myself with my own quillion.... It seems like it would be impractical, since it's one more thing you have to be aware of in combat. Regular quillions aren't going to do damage if they accidentally touch your body. These are another matter. Personally, I'd rather have a lightsaber fashioned as a one-handed backsword with a basket hilt made of lightsaber resistant material.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at November 28, 2014 06:45 AM (10ydV)

213 I'm convinced LotR is being shot like it is becoz they need footage of everything Gandalf before he dies. they can edit after they get all of that then shoot some extras for other stories.

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at November 28, 2014 06:46 AM (F+xWX)

214 That trooper's name wouldn't be Michael Brown, would it? I have a bad feeling about this.

Posted by: Erowmero at November 28, 2014 06:46 AM (go5uR)

215 : Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) at November 28, 2014 His next project will be a sitcon centered on wacky Tom Bombadil. The running joke will be that Sauron's shade is living in Tom's house, and makes hilariously inept attempts to kill him every episode, but Tom remains goofily unaware! *Laugh track*

Posted by: Secundus, M.D. at November 28, 2014 06:46 AM (hv9/n)

216 The scenes with the spacecraft zinging across the water, or the Millennium Falcon bit near the end, those looked ready for prime time.

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 28, 2014 11:45 AM (2cS/G)

 

Those were likely "proof of concept"  test shot clips that were good enough to be fleshed out further and used as actual parts in the film.

Posted by: buzzion at November 28, 2014 06:47 AM (zt+N6)

217 I am so dying from laughter - Hello Darth Maul

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 28, 2014 06:47 AM (XhS3T)

218 Light sabre fingers.

Posted by: Freddie Kruger at November 28, 2014 06:48 AM (fBxC6)

219 215 : Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) at November 28, 2014 His next project will be a sitcon centered on wacky Tom Bombadil. The running joke will be that Sauron's shade is living in Tom's house, and makes hilariously inept attempts to kill him every episode, but Tom remains goofily unaware! *Laugh track* Posted by: Secundus, M.D. at November 28, 2014 11:46 AM (hv9/n) Maybe the Fifth Moon of Endor and Middle Earth are the same place.

Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 06:48 AM (MQEz6)

220 200 Shit, I forgot that Tim Benzedrine and Hashberry - I meant Tom Bombadril - were left out of LotR. There's plenty of shit left for Hackson to exploit... damn! Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) at November 28, 2014 11:42 AM (/dvmK) -------- Ha! Did a book report (with illustrations) on Bored of the Rings as a kid. Got an A+!

Posted by: All Hail Eris at November 28, 2014 06:48 AM (QBm1P)

221 Screw JJ Abrams and his Star Trek knockoffs. Will not see one. Kirk is and will always be Shatner as well as the rest of the characters being their original actors. Put the burka chick in a bikini and add a few more like her in bikinis and I'll consider renting this Star Wars. More interested in the REAL Orion test launch on 12/4 and getting that bad boy in space with our guys in it.

Posted by: The Man from Athens at November 28, 2014 06:49 AM (MwqCg)

222 I want  to know  that the movie contains lemurs.   Every movie should contain lemurs.  And  not those stupid fake madagascar movie lemurs.  I mean real lemurs. 

Posted by: BurtTC at November 28, 2014 06:49 AM (TOk1P)

223 In other news I am stuck in a house full of morning people who like it cold. And since the rents are here getting drunk is not an option. Gee why is it I am leaving tomorrow morning it's a mystery really.

Posted by: alexthechick at November 28, 2014 06:51 AM (tjQsL)

224 223 In other news I am stuck in a house full of morning people who like it cold. And since the rents are here getting drunk is not an option. Posted by: alexthechick at November 28, 2014 11:51 AM (tjQsL) I don't understand most of those words.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at November 28, 2014 06:52 AM (GEICT)

225 And since the rents are here getting drunk is not an option. Posted by: alexthechick at November 28, 2014 11:51 AM (tjQsL) -------- Pour everclear into their orange juice.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at November 28, 2014 06:52 AM (QBm1P)

226 I can see George Lucas in his Throne Room, sitting in a chair like Emperor Palpatine, dictating plot lines to the Padiwan Abrams.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire [/i][/s][/b][/u] at November 28, 2014 06:53 AM (0HooB)

227 Cameos of the Emperor from Robot Chicken would seal the deal for me. Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 11:45 AM "Who's goona give me a loan, jackhole? You? You got an ATM on that torso Lite-Brite?"

Posted by: Secundus, M.D. at November 28, 2014 06:53 AM (hv9/n)

228 Of course! But especially the Irish. Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 28, 2014 11:44 AM (Zu3d9) Naturally.

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at November 28, 2014 06:53 AM (GEICT)

229 135 In any lightsaber fight we've seen, the first move after the blades are held against each other always should have been a stroke down the length of the blade to cut the other guy's fingers off.

Wait a minute. Those quillions aren't protection against a downstroke of a lightsaber blade; the energy emission would have to be above them. Remember how Wossname cut Darth Maul's lightsaber in two in that fight?

The first move *now* will be a stroke down the blade, cutting off the quillion on that side, and *then* cutting the other guy's fingers off.

My money's still on punching a hole in a can of beer.

Posted by: Anachronda at November 28, 2014 06:54 AM (coJ1L)

230 Hey CBD 1952 PHS.

Posted by: JackStraw at November 28, 2014 06:54 AM (g1DWB)

231 I don't understand most of those words. Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at November 28, 2014 11:52 AM (GEICT) I know right. I solved the no ESPN issue via precious precious app.

Posted by: alexthechick at November 28, 2014 06:55 AM (tjQsL)

232 I solved the no ESPN issue via precious precious app. Posted by: alexthechick at November 28, 2014 11:55 AM (tjQsL) Wait. Why would there be no ESPN?

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at November 28, 2014 06:56 AM (GEICT)

233 223 Gee why is it I am leaving tomorrow morning it's a mystery really.

Good luck. I'm waiting for the auto shop in Vegas to call and tell me that they have to order my part and won't be able to fix my car until Monday.

Posted by: Anachronda at November 28, 2014 06:56 AM (coJ1L)

234 @130- You just 'splained that in five seconds. How come JJ couldn't do it when he had 1.5 hours? -------------------- It was supposed to be in the movie, but got cut. The DVD has bits of a scene that was shot for it (they used kids to represent the Klingons in a distance shot). The transmission that Uhura mentions when Kirk is hiding under the bed is the alert regarding the prison break.

Posted by: junior at November 28, 2014 06:57 AM (UWFpX)

235 Sorry to hear that AlextheChick. Knock out drops? Be returning to house tommorow myself. I can describe the Nero plot hole but can't solve why in Nero's rage against the Federation speech it couldn't have been slipped in. Like "if it wasn't for those annoying Klingons I would have blown up Vulcan twenty years ago." See?

Posted by: Anna Puma at November 28, 2014 06:58 AM (XhS3T)

236 It was supposed to be in the movie, but got cut. The DVD has bits of a scene that was shot for it (they used kids to represent the Klingons in a distance shot). The transmission that Uhura mentions when Kirk is hiding under the bed is the alert regarding the prison break. If only they had a couple of people to pay really, really close attention to the script and the plot to make sure they didn't omit anything essential...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire [/i][/s][/b][/u] at November 28, 2014 06:59 AM (0HooB)

237 Wait. You've all seen this, right? and its source: https://bithead942.wordpress.com/2014/11/25/magic-eight-ball-style-lego-darth-vader/

Posted by: somejoe at November 28, 2014 07:01 AM (LvVQC)

238 212 Personally, I'd rather have a lightsaber fashioned as a one-handed backsword with a basket hilt made of lightsaber resistant material.

Nonsense. If there were lightsaber resistant material, they'd make blast doors out of it so that Jedis couldn't cut their way into the bridge.

Think about how much money could be made by the company that did that. The ads alone would be hilarious: GEICO caveman secure in his bridge with DiGiorno while frustrated Jedi knights try to cut their way in to "deliver" a cardboard pizza (commercial 4 in the series: "Landshark!").

Posted by: Anachronda at November 28, 2014 07:02 AM (coJ1L)

239 Uhm, this.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hq30UtIk0E

Posted by: somejoe at November 28, 2014 07:02 AM (LvVQC)

240 Between radio and TV, I have about 30 basketball games and a dozen football games to choose from today. An embarrassment of riches.

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 28, 2014 07:03 AM (2cS/G)

241 I'll watch it and if I'm entertained, I'll like it. If not, well then, that's that. I'm glad I'm not such a nitpicky prick that I just go to find the faults. Watched Edge of Tomorrow yesterday. I liked it. Entertaining movie.

Posted by: Soona at November 28, 2014 07:03 AM (AIGBI)

242 Jedi knights would not work with something so crude as a blaster. Duh.

Posted by: blaster at November 28, 2014 07:03 AM (Rx8ML)

243 Oh, wait.

Posted by: blaster at November 28, 2014 07:04 AM (Rx8ML)

244 This teaser already has a darker and more serious tone than all three of the prequels. I'm cautiously optimistic. And as far as the droid goes, the droids were always there for comic relief. Not worried.

That's damn dirty RINO talk right there!

Posted by: TRUE CON! at November 28, 2014 07:05 AM (87y4e)

245 That first scene looks real familiar...combing the desert for clues...

"Find anything?"

"We ain't found shit!"

Posted by: Corona at November 28, 2014 07:05 AM (fh2Y7)

246 238 212 Personally, I'd rather have a lightsaber fashioned as a one-handed backsword with a basket hilt made of lightsaber resistant material. Nonsense. If there were lightsaber resistant material, they'd make blast doors out of it so that Jedis couldn't cut their way into the bridge. Think about how much money could be made by the company that did that. The ads alone would be hilarious: GEICO caveman secure in his bridge with DiGiorno while frustrated Jedi knights try to cut their way in to "deliver" a cardboard pizza (commercial 4 in the series: "Landshark!"). Posted by: Anachronda at November 28, 2014 12:02 PM (coJ1L) Why can't a light sabre put a force field around the bearer's hand? In TPM the worst Jedi of all time had molten metal right next to his hand and kept reciting his bad lines with no problem.

Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 07:06 AM (MQEz6)

247 What is this story? That for twenty years Nero was captured by the Klingons. But escaped and got his ship back. You just 'splained that in five seconds. How come JJ couldn't do it when he had 1.5 hours? Even buying that, why didn't he head straight to Romulus and say 'Hey, I'm from the future and in 50 years Romulus will be destroyed. And oh yeah, look at all this mining ship future tech! My civilian ship beat the crap out of a Federation Capital Ship.'

Posted by: toby928(C) at November 28, 2014 07:06 AM (rwI+c)

248 Dammit forgot Steyn in for Rush today.

Posted by: blaster at November 28, 2014 07:07 AM (Rx8ML)

249 238 212
Personally, I'd rather have a lightsaber fashioned as a one-handed
backsword with a basket hilt made of lightsaber resistant material.


Nonsense. If there were lightsaber resistant material, they'd make blast doors out of it so that Jedis couldn't cut their way into the bridge.

Think about how much money could be made by the company that did that. The ads alone would be hilarious: GEICO caveman secure in his bridge with DiGiorno while frustrated Jedi knights try to cut their way in to "deliver" a cardboard pizza (commercial 4 in the series: "Landshark!").

Posted by: Anachronda at November 28, 2014 12:02 PM (coJ1L)

 

The novels did have a lightsaber resistant material show up in some of them.  I believe it was either directly mentioned or heavily implied that the material was pretty much crap for every other purpose except stopping lightsabers.

Posted by: buzzion at November 28, 2014 07:07 AM (zt+N6)

250 So Klingons capture a super-powerful Romulan ship from the future, keep it around where the captured crew can steal it back decades later, don't kill the crew, and don't expand their own technology with these awesome future weapons? J.J. just writes himself additional plot holes.

Posted by: --- at November 28, 2014 07:07 AM (MMC8r)

251 236 It was supposed to be in the movie, but got cut. The DVD has bits of a scene that was shot for it (they used kids to represent the Klingons in a distance shot). The transmission that Uhura mentions when Kirk is hiding under the bed is the alert regarding the prison break. If only they had a couple of people to pay really, really close attention to the script and the plot to make sure they didn't omit anything essential... Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire at November 28, 2014 11:59 AM (0HooB) Don't get me started on how in the reboot Starships can get to Vulcan in five minutes.

Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 07:08 AM (MQEz6)

252 Wait. Why would there be no ESPN? Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at November 28, 2014 11:56 AM (GEICT) They went no cable or satellite and have over air HD only. *twitches* Do not even start with me on supporting evil Hollyweird. I love tv and it makes me happy.

Posted by: alexthechick at November 28, 2014 07:09 AM (tjQsL)

253 Why can't a light sabre put a force field around the bearer's hand? Didn't protect Luke's in Empire.

Posted by: --- at November 28, 2014 07:09 AM (MMC8r)

254 253 Why can't a light sabre put a force field around the bearer's hand? Didn't protect Luke's in Empire. Posted by: --- at November 28, 2014 12:09 PM (MMC8r) Wrist exception noted for one hundred points.

Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 07:10 AM (MQEz6)

255 They went no cable or satellite and have over air HD only. *twitches* Do not even start with me on supporting evil Hollyweird. I love tv and it makes me happy. Posted by: alexthechick at November 28, 2014 12:09 PM (tjQsL) *stares and stares* That's just....*shudders*

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at November 28, 2014 07:10 AM (GEICT)

256 Do not even start with me on supporting evil Hollyweird. I love tv and it makes me happy

*eye twitches*

*has mild heart attack*

*refuses to call ambulance due to hatred of Obamacare and end of the republic*


Posted by: TRUE CON! at November 28, 2014 07:10 AM (NF2Bf)

257 Maybe Lightsabre to lightsabre friction is too great to slide down a blade. That's why they just hack at each other.

Posted by: toby928(C) at November 28, 2014 07:10 AM (rwI+c)

258 looks racist...and shit.

Posted by: dananjcon at November 28, 2014 07:10 AM (NpXoL)

259 That is, it's an artifact of the tech we don't know about.

Posted by: toby928(C) at November 28, 2014 07:11 AM (rwI+c)

260 Are we sure that's the real trailer?  Looks like a good fan trailer to me.

Posted by: Bomber at November 28, 2014 07:12 AM (3vdhh)

261 *eye twitches* *has mild heart attack* *refuses to call ambulance due to hatred of Obamacare and end of the republic* Posted by: TRUE CON! at November 28, 2014 12:10 PM (NF2Bf) Hahahahahahahahaha

Posted by: BCochran1981 - Credible Hulk at November 28, 2014 07:12 AM (GEICT)

262 257 Maybe Lightsabre to lightsabre friction is too great to slide down a blade. That's why they just hack at each other. Posted by: toby928(C) at November 28, 2014 12:10 PM (rwI+c) That's code for kinky sex, isn't it?

Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 07:12 AM (MQEz6)

263 The more I think about it, the more that makes sense (for a mythical weapon). The field that contains the plasma or whatever is too grabby on a similar field.

Posted by: toby928(C) at November 28, 2014 07:12 AM (rwI+c)

264 I wonder if there will be an evil Republican in this one too? It's coming out in time to influence the next big election, so there better be! I suppose Princess Leia will adopt H.Clinton's hairdo instead of her regular head-buns. Dirty rebel bitch.

Posted by: goon at November 28, 2014 07:12 AM (gNTQS)

265 Me sooo dissapointment.

Posted by: JarJar Binks at November 28, 2014 07:13 AM (53CCM)

266 I have 10 Patek Phillipe watches: one for each month, except for the two months I spend on my yacht. Then I wear my Rolex sailing chronometer.

Posted by: Nipple Sip at November 28, 2014 07:13 AM (VQxHd)

267 After The Hobbit: CGI Goes Apeshit's release next month, dude has exhausted Tolkien's works.

That would just be silly Marillion.

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at November 28, 2014 07:13 AM (DL2i+)

268 253 Why can't a light sabre put a force field around the bearer's hand?

Didn't protect Luke's in Empire.


Yeah, but Luke's wasn't cut off by a downstroke along the blade. I'm thinking the customer service call for that one went with Luke having to pay for his own prosthetic due to a loophole in the lightsaber warranty.

Posted by: Anachronda at November 28, 2014 07:13 AM (coJ1L)

269 The new a Emperor will ask all the rebels what difference does it make.

Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 07:14 AM (MQEz6)

270 Is it time for TruCon Circular Firing Squad to engage the Queen's forces?

Asking for a friend.

Posted by: T. Jeff at November 28, 2014 07:14 AM (/Ho8c)

271 Is it time for TruCon Circular Firing Squad to engage the Queen's forces? I'm still logy from the turkey.

Posted by: toby928(C) at November 28, 2014 07:15 AM (rwI+c)

272 @235 I can describe the Nero plot hole but can't solve why in Nero's rage against the Federation speech it couldn't have been slipped in. Like "if it wasn't for those annoying Klingons I would have blown up Vulcan twenty years ago." See? ------------- *That* was actually implied in the movie. He was waiting for Spock to come back in time as well, so Spock could witness Vulcan's destruction.

Posted by: junior at November 28, 2014 07:15 AM (UWFpX)

273

Ubisoft's rollout of Assassin's Creed Unity has been so bad that everyone that bought the game is getting the first DLC free.  And everyone that bought the season pass is eligible for a free game, including the brand new released Far Cry 4. 

 

That just shows how incredibly they've fucked up.  And probably don't even think they'll be able to fix the problems.  Game has been out 2 weeks and there are already 3 patches with 4th on the way.

 

Ubisoft:  Making Bethesda's quality control look competent.

Posted by: buzzion at November 28, 2014 07:16 AM (zt+N6)

274 According to reports, this SW episode is supposed to take place SW VI +30 years; that saber and hand that fell from Luke when Vader cut it off? That is found, and they go on a mission to return it to the owner, or some such. THIN-ASS plot, yes. But it's JJ, what do you expect? War and Peace?

Posted by: Mr Wolf at November 28, 2014 07:16 AM (S1Ieh)

275 I'm still logy from the turkey. That's what she said.

Posted by: blaster at November 28, 2014 07:17 AM (Rx8ML)

276 @251 Don't get me started on how in the reboot Starships can get to Vulcan in five minutes. ------------------ Enterprise already screwed that up. In the very first episode, Scott Bakula and crew are able to go from Earth to the Klingon homeworld in, what, four days?

Posted by: junior at November 28, 2014 07:18 AM (UWFpX)

277 Who programmed the iPad's autocorrect to automatically insert indefinite articles between adjectives and nouns? One of you little coding freaks of Nature did this! Ack! Again, between of and Nature! Between prepositions and nouns, too! Stop it!

Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 07:18 AM (MQEz6)

278 I'm inundated with Black Friday emails. Here's an interesting one. Glock 21 3rd Gen Handgun 45 ACP AUTO 13 Rounds Black Police Trade-In $370.00 Free Shipping http://is.gd/5NEqA4

Posted by: toby928(C) at November 28, 2014 07:19 AM (rwI+c)

279 Please, transport yourselves back to 1977 and bathe in it, already. Good lord. It's like Star Wars bashing has become a sport. Fuck off already

Posted by: deadrody at November 28, 2014 11:43 AM (meyeF)

Building a time machine certainly seems more feasible than getting a Blu-Ray transfer of the original version of Star Wars.

Posted by: Big McLargehuge at November 28, 2014 07:20 AM (u9OP6)

280 Why can't a light sabre put a force field around the bearer's hand? That's crazy talk! Like a light saber could block another light saber. Piffle!

Posted by: somejoe at November 28, 2014 07:21 AM (LvVQC)

281 Well I didn't beat the horde but at least I got a bad pun out of it.

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at November 28, 2014 07:21 AM (DL2i+)

282 Time for that all important 1st Turkey Sammich of the season.

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at November 28, 2014 07:21 AM (DL2i+)

283 Lucas took A New Hope non-canon so really how much worse could Abrams do?

Posted by: blaster at November 28, 2014 07:21 AM (Rx8ML)

284 I actually kind of liked the trailer.  As far as the story goes, Lawrence Kasdan wrote it (you know the guy who wrote Empire, Raiders of the Lost Ark and Jedi with Wookies instead of Ewoks). 

Hopefully Abrams can't fuck that up too badly. 

Posted by: Timon at November 28, 2014 07:22 AM (1aUjs)

285 "His "Star Trek" movie was ruined for me when Kirk was marooned on a planet, ran into a cave and Spock just happened to be in that particular cave on that particular spot on that particularly huge fucking PLANET."


Don't forget they were also within walking distance of Scotty as well. And why was there a federation outpost that looked like a hospital basement on a moon (?) of Vulcan?


That whole sequence just took me right out of it, and it took awhile to get back in.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at November 28, 2014 07:23 AM (xSCb6)

286 Who programmed the iPad's autocorrect to automatically insert indefinite articles between adjectives and nouns? Please to be noting the original country of origin for your Apple programmers since you Americans have obviously priced yourselfs out of the market thanks to the many many millions of dollars you pay the person in the corner office of the uppermost floor of your very extravagant building who did not start the business.

Posted by: Rajnarama Bagshish "Bob" Bodisvhatta[/i][/s][/b][/u] at November 28, 2014 07:24 AM (0HooB)

287 285 "His "Star Trek" movie was ruined for me when Kirk was marooned on a
planet, ran into a cave and Spock just happened to be in that particular
cave on that particular spot on that particularly huge fucking PLANET."



Don't forget they were also within walking distance of Scotty as well. And why was there a federation outpost that looked like a hospital basement on a moon (?) of Vulcan?


That whole sequence just took me right out of it, and it took awhile to get back in.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at November 28, 2014 12:23 PM (xSCb6)

 

I've said that Abrams told all of his actors that they are doing performances of the original actors doing their characters.  Except for Chris Pine.  He told him he's playing Luke Skywalker.

Posted by: buzzion at November 28, 2014 07:25 AM (zt+N6)

288 YOU'LL LAUGH, YOU'LL CRY, YOU'LL KISS TWENTY BUCKS GOODBYE!

Posted by: THE ANNOUNCER [/b] at November 28, 2014 07:27 AM (jAyhy)

289 285 And why was there a federation outpost that looked like a hospital basement on a moon (?) of Vulcan?

Trust, but verify.

You'd think if he was on a moon of Vulcan, he could call up and ask them to deliver a sammich once in a while. The lack of supplies he was complaining about could only be caused by it being a secret base that the Federation doesn't want the Vulcans to know about.

Posted by: Anachronda at November 28, 2014 07:28 AM (coJ1L)

290 What? No Jennifer Lawrence? This movie is dead to me.

Posted by: another joe at November 28, 2014 07:29 AM (ZzfkW)

291 Jonah Goldberg ‏@JonahNRO 2h2 hours ago You may feel forever 21 now, but by day's end the living will envy the dead #talesfromblackfriday

Posted by: toby928(C) at November 28, 2014 07:29 AM (rwI+c)

292 I'm glad to see that there is at least one other person that answered before I could on a material that could withstand the light saber. The emperors throne room on corusant was encased in it I now denounce myself for being the nerd I was a long time ago in the SW universe before Lucas destroyed my interest with Ep. 1

Posted by: H badger at November 28, 2014 07:30 AM (+xIXD)

293 Loved A New HopeEmpire Strikes Back was pretty good, but was really only half of a movie (sequel deal was sealed).  Return of the Jedi had its moments, but the ending cheapened the series' prime villain, and had too many cutesy muppets.

Eagerly saw all three when they were re-released in the theaters in the 90s, and was mostly pleased.

Saw that absolutely horrible Episode 1: Destroying your Childhood and A Magic Child Blowing Up Yet Another Death Star Thing, and swore off the series.  It was just too awful.

So, this may well be a fantastic Star Wars movie, but I'll never know.  And I'm OK with that.

Posted by: T. Jeff at November 28, 2014 07:31 AM (/Ho8c)

294 I've said that Abrams told all of his actors that they are doing performances of the original actors doing their characters. Except for Chris Pine. He told him he's playing Luke Skywalker. I get the Tardis joke: the inside of JJ's Enterprise is much bigger than the outside, especially the Warp Core and Engineering.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire [/i][/s][/b][/u] at November 28, 2014 07:31 AM (0HooB)

295 All you need is the theme and the anthem. The audience is conditioned to the sound track. LIght sabers and summesalting YOda. Massed fields of androids and the sound effects of the motor on the sled thingy. That's why Star Trek sucked. All they had was phasers... pew...pew...pew...and communicators. and transporters.

Posted by: Terra Incognito at November 28, 2014 07:31 AM (1UWg+)

296 Not to be too dependent over consistency and all that, but I thought the stormtroopers were all clones of Janga Fett.  So how is it that the first one we see is... ummm... ethnic?

(Mel Brooks, stage-whispering from off-screen: "Schwartze!  The word is schwartze!")

Also, in re: Brian Dennehy as the Death Star and the whole "exhaust port" trope above: "That's no moon..."

Posted by: Keith Arnold at November 28, 2014 07:32 AM (iIzG7)

297 The costuming is fabulous.

Posted by: Jar Jar Binks at November 28, 2014 07:32 AM (F2IAQ)

298 Exit question: how much crack is Shia Leboeuf smoking?

Posted by: blaster at November 28, 2014 07:33 AM (Rx8ML)

299 AUSTIN, TX==

A 50 year old white guy shot up the Mexican Consulate, Federal Bldg. and Austin PD HQ early this morning around 2:30. An APD Sgt. dropped the assailant with one shot, while holding 2 horses.
There was also a bomb type device was found in the assailants vehicle. APD SWAT are now at the assailants domicile working on gaining entry.

That is all I have for now. Sadly, the MSM may now have the narrative wet dream they've so far failed to establish.

Posted by: CozMark at November 28, 2014 07:33 AM (gYPAF)

300 Chris Pratt and Chris Pine are, in reality, the same actor. True fact!

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 28, 2014 07:33 AM (zwdxl)

301 "The lack of supplies he was complaining about could only be caused by it being a secret base that the Federation doesn't want the Vulcans to know about."


Not buying that at all.


What motivation would the Federation have for spying on Vulcan? Even if you could think of a reason Do you really think the Vulcans wouldn't be scanning their moon or be able to detect any activity so close?


They would definitely be concerned about Romulans or Klingons doing something like that. But the Federation? Come on.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at November 28, 2014 07:34 AM (xSCb6)

302 294 I've said that Abrams told all of his actors that they are doing performances of the original actors doing their characters. Except for Chris Pine. He told him he's playing Luke Skywalker. I get the Tardis joke: the inside of JJ's Enterprise is much bigger than the outside, especially the Warp Core and Engineering. Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire at November 28, 2014 12:31 PM (0HooB) Yeah, the engineering section is sort of steam-punky like the Tardis. Huge tanks of water? All it was missing was enormous bins of coal.

Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 07:34 AM (MQEz6)

303 In their, defense, the 2,5000 were entirely sub-human conservative swine who deserved it. HotAir.com @hotairblog IRS accused of sharing 2,500 private taxpayer documents with White House http://hotair.com/headlines/?p=313300

Posted by: Think Progress!! at November 28, 2014 07:34 AM (zwdxl)

304 A 50 year old white guy shot up the Mexican Consulate, Federal Bldg. and Austin PD HQ early this morning around 2:30. The Austin Police Chief suggests that the perp *may* have had an anti-government motive. Also, that it's the fault of the Tea Party.

Posted by: toby928(C) at November 28, 2014 07:34 AM (rwI+c)

305 Heading out on the road now, NC bound.


I'll be home for ONT...


you can count on me...



Later roonz and roonettez, fear no evil!

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at November 28, 2014 07:35 AM (V22Sh)

306 "Roads that run right to a thousand foot cliff." "In Iowa." ------------------ BWAHAHAHAHAAA!!! Aaaaaand... there's your JJ Abrams right there! Nicely done, guys. Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at November 28, 2014 10:59 AM (4ckfx) Talk about pushing yout luck... State Highest point Elevation (ft.) Lowest point Elevation (ft.) Iowa Sec. 29, T100N, R41W, Osceola County 1,670 Mississippi River 480

Posted by: Mostly Peaceful Commenter at November 28, 2014 07:35 AM (EEuuP)

307 I still don't get why Jedi don't carry blasters or thermal detonators. I realize it's Errol Flynn swashbuckling in space, but even he used guns occasionally
---
As demonstrated by Vader in 5 and Obiwan in 3, if a Jedi needs a gun, he can pretty muych snatch it from one of the other combatants.

Posted by: Methos at November 28, 2014 07:36 AM (A6vWB)

308 My FFL just called and said my second FEG PA-63 is in. Woot! He also has a pickup truck I'm interested in so I will probably head over there today.

Posted by: toby928(C) at November 28, 2014 07:36 AM (rwI+c)

309 Just a couple quick thoughts: -It looks like Abrams is trying to make the Storm Troopers less incompetent nazi stand-ins and more a dangerous military force, and that's good. -The light saber sword thing... even more idiotically dangerous than just a light saber. -Evidently they aren't using clones in the troopers any longer. -Abrams has a much better grasp on action and exciting movement than Lucas, who saw starships as being basically funny looking airplanes that have to work with gravity.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at November 28, 2014 07:37 AM (39g3+)

310 IRS accused of sharing 2,500 private taxpayer documents with White House -------------------- It was accidental. There was no misuse of the files. Just a mistake made by a low level clerk..., in Cincinnati.

Posted by: The White House at November 28, 2014 07:38 AM (F2IAQ)

311 The Star Wars universe has about as much internal logic as a 5 year old story-time tale. The Force powers expand and contract in arbitrary ways according to the whim of the writer or director that afternoon depending on what he had for lunch.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 28, 2014 07:38 AM (zwdxl)

312 All it was missing was enormous bins of coal. It wasn't hard to tell that all those scenes were filmed at Lawrence Livermore Labs.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire [/i][/s][/b][/u] at November 28, 2014 07:39 AM (0HooB)

313 "Abrams has a much better grasp on action and exciting movement than Lucas, who saw starships as being basically funny looking airplanes that have to work with gravity."


Yeah, he couldn't even get the actual airplanes-working-with-gravity part right either in that shitpile of a movie Red Tails.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at November 28, 2014 07:41 AM (xSCb6)

314 OK film critics, I gotta go do stuff. Y'all have fun and try not to trash the place, 'k?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire [/i][/s][/b][/u] at November 28, 2014 07:42 AM (0HooB)

315 If he hadn't included the tropes people would be pissed at him. I thinking going after the canon is kind of no win, though, so at least he made the nods in the right places. Posted by: blaster at November 28, 2014 11:18 AM (Rx8ML) The Half in the Bag guys made the point about Into Darkness that I agreed with, you have to start telling your own stories. It's okay to reference TOS, but you can't just make the film fan service. Flipping the Spock saves ship scene with Kirk isn't original. It's lazy. With Into Darkness I would have ripped out the Kirk demoted and Admiral evil storylines. Kahn would not have been the Kahn but his son, and only revealed when looking at the freezers at the end. Kahn would have been working for the Admiral but doing things the Admiral didn't know about. Basically, simplify the plot to a decent story. TWOK was a revenge story overlaid over the subtext of growing old. Plus Kirk didn't have to hand-to-hand fight Kahn at the end to make it dramatic.

Posted by: Better Feared than Loved at November 28, 2014 07:42 AM (jasFi)

316 If I were a Jedi just imagine how much money I could have saved on Spanish Fly.

Posted by: Bill Cosby at November 28, 2014 07:43 AM (nFdGS)

317 In any lightsaber fight we've seen, the first move after the blades are held against each other always should have been a stroke down the length of the blade to cut the other guy's fingers off.
Posted by: Methos at November 28, 2014 11:14 AM (A6vWB)


Actually that move changes the fulcrum of force towards the grip of your opponent's blade, and allows him to pivot his blade to chop your head in half or shove the tip up your nose.
Even if you dodge in that situation, you are forced to disengage from the corps-a-corps, and your opponent has the initiative.
The ideal situation would be for you to have your base of your blade against the middle or belly of your opponent's blade so you have flexibility to pivot and cut while immobilizing your opponents blade.

With the Quillions your swordplay would change to a closer stance like broadsword, but your quillions are also weapons that could be turned against you: if your opponent can get a bind on your main blade and one of the quillions he could conceivably twist the other quillion into you.

This reminds me of a criticism of a fantasy blade: "Swords are dangerous enough, why would you put extra spiky bits on them, someone could get hurt!"

Posted by: Kindltot at November 28, 2014 07:43 AM (t//F+)

318 42 Also - I didn't realize the Imperial Stormtrooper Corps had an affirmative action program. I denounce myself.

ALL the manufactured, soul-less, conscienceless Imperial Stormtroopers are black!  EVERYone knows that!  Just ask anyone who lives in Bel Air/Beverly Hills...

Posted by: richard mcenroe at November 28, 2014 07:43 AM (XO6WW)

319 It needs more cowbell.

Posted by: Blame Whom at November 28, 2014 07:44 AM (7wyDO)

320 Not enough to make an opinion I would say.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at November 28, 2014 07:45 AM (oFCZn)

321 Nonsense. If there were lightsaber resistant material, they'd make blast doors out of it so that Jedis couldn't cut their way into the bridge.
---
It may be to rare for that. We know such stuff exists because the hard parts of Vader's armor were made of it (Luke hits him squarely in the shoulder at one point in 5, but cuts through the flexible part on the writs in 6).

Posted by: Methos at November 28, 2014 07:45 AM (A6vWB)

322 Barry, I am your uncle.

Posted by: Zombie Alger Hiss at November 28, 2014 07:46 AM (Dwehj)

323 Austin shooter They already know no bombs. Shot 100 rounds at empty buildings at 2:20 am. Bars close at 2. Suicide by cop

Posted by: ThunderB at November 28, 2014 07:47 AM (zOTsN)

324 Do the laser blasters still shoot laser blasts that don't travel any faster than normal bullets?

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 28, 2014 07:47 AM (zwdxl)

325 I think that the big question in the new Star Wars is can the new storm troopers hit the broad side of a barn with their blasters?  They sure as hell couldn't in the other 6 movies...

Posted by: Timon at November 28, 2014 07:49 AM (1aUjs)

326

Star Wars movie.

Not opening in May.

Nope.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at November 28, 2014 07:49 AM (kdS6q)

327 Kindltot at November 28, 2014 12:43 PM @317 What happens if you lunge/thrust forward? You push your opponent's blade away at the same time you attack.

Posted by: Terra Incognito at November 28, 2014 07:49 AM (1UWg+)

328 According to SW Canon (ok, "legends" now), while the initial stormtroopers were clones of Jango, after a while regular soldiers got integrated into the ranks. If I'm remembering it right, by the time of the OT, the 501 Legion (Vader's personal stormtrooper legion) was one of the few that still used Fett clones. Take into account that by the time of this new movie, the Empire's been overthrown for 30ish years. Whatever passes for stormtroopers in this movie isn't going to have access streams of fresh clones anyway. /SWapology

Posted by: Joe at November 28, 2014 07:50 AM (34w2E)

329 It's cold.

Posted by: Gingy in Canada where it's cold at November 28, 2014 07:51 AM (xBPyN)

330 Alexthechick:

One Channel to rule them all, One Chennel to find them,
One Channel to bring them all and in the darkness bind them...

Posted by: richard mcenroe at November 28, 2014 07:51 AM (XO6WW)

331 Did anyone else HATE the bridge of the JJ version of Star Trek? Like it was just TOO brightly colored and fancied up? Could there BE more chrome on it? He needed to learn '60's kitsch a bit better. ST:TOS bridge was far less elaborate, for a reason.

Posted by: Mr Wolf at November 28, 2014 07:52 AM (S1Ieh)

332 "Geek-enjoy or nerd-hate" Are those my only choices?

Posted by: Joe Biteme at November 28, 2014 07:52 AM (AUaso)

333 Democrats keep thinking if they are talking to an all-black crowd, they don't have to worry about having any evil, nasty conservatives in the room who might be secretly spying for James O'Keefe. Stuff like this with boost their paranoia a touch. James O'Keefe @JamesOKeefeIII Undercover footage of Landrieu chief of staff saying his boss Sen. Mary Landrieu stands behind Obama. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kmmpWSXNsA via @ali

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 28, 2014 07:53 AM (zwdxl)

334
Star Wars movie.

No Princess Leia pokies because space is cold.

Dropped.

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at November 28, 2014 07:53 AM (kdS6q)

335 Actually that move changes the fulcrum of force towards the grip of your opponent's blade, and allows him to pivot his blade to chop your head in half or shove the tip up your nose. Even if you dodge in that situation, you are forced to disengage from the corps-a-corps, and your opponent has the initiative. . Only if you're an idiot. If you're in the bind then raking at your opponents hands as you step to the side and out is perfectly reasonable.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at November 28, 2014 07:55 AM (10ydV)

336 It's cold. Posted by: Gingy in Canada ----- Redundant

Posted by: The White House at November 28, 2014 07:55 AM (F2IAQ)

337 /sock

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 28, 2014 07:55 AM (F2IAQ)

338 while the initial stormtroopers were clones of Jango, after a while regular soldiers got integrated into the ranks. Jango unchained

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at November 28, 2014 07:58 AM (W5DcG)

339 The light saber sword thing... even more idiotically dangerous than just a light saber.

Maybe. Something else people often forget is that there's no lightsaber factory. They're all made by the jedi/sith that intends to use them, so it may just be a comment on his/her personality.

Posted by: Methos at November 28, 2014 07:58 AM (A6vWB)

340 Posted by: Keith Arnold at November 28, 2014 12:32 PM (iIzG7) Glad it wasn't just me then. My first thought was "I thought they were clones *He* doesn't look Maori."

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at November 28, 2014 07:58 AM (GDulk)

341 170 159 Hey kids! A black guy and a strong woman!


Not nearly inclusive enough. Unacceptable.

"Meesha FAAAAAAABULOUS!"

Posted by: richard mcenroe at November 28, 2014 07:59 AM (XO6WW)

342 Dark Side walking through snow+Disney leads to Frozen in my mind which leads to HIT SONG in my mind. Star Wars Episode 7: The Musical

Posted by: Man from Wazzustan at November 28, 2014 07:59 AM (0atFl)

343
Yeah, but I make a bitchin' shrimp gumbo!

Posted by: Mary Landrieu at November 28, 2014 08:00 AM (3/wAJ)

344 The Star Wars universe has about as much internal logic as a 5 year old story-time tale.

Posted by: Costanza Defense


Which is disappointing considering how realistic most movies are.

Posted by: weft cut-loop[/i][/b] at November 28, 2014 08:03 AM (s9AKD)

345 Posted by: Better Feared than Loved at November 28, 2014 12:42 PM (jasFi) Besides the 'actors-playing-original-actors-playing-characters' problem (which didn't bother me in the first reboot but bugged me *a lot* in the second), The Kirk as practical noob vs. Khan as himself(ish) match-up didn't really work for me. In the original Kirk was a seasoned Captain and I think that made for a much more believable scenario.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at November 28, 2014 08:04 AM (GDulk)

346 I hereby declare Wednesday, November 28th a content-free day.

Posted by: Zombie Abe Lincoln at November 28, 2014 08:04 AM (Dwehj)

347 Yeah, but I make a bitchin' shrimp gumbo! Posted by: Mary Landrieu Cajun for bloody mary?

Posted by: rickb223[/s][/i][/b] at November 28, 2014 08:04 AM (R6it6)

348 So the big boss man of the company sent me three electronic documents, tax forms, direct deposit form, and the actual employment agreement. For some reason I can't open the agreement. It's in a different format, shows up as a red folder, while the other two are blue, and it says DOCX rather than PDF or something more familiar. Anyone know what I need to download/find in order to open it?

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 28, 2014 08:05 AM (2cS/G)

349 If you're in the bind then raking at your opponents hands as you step to the side and out is perfectly reasonable.

Okay I'm going to admit some folks in this thread know more about sword fighting than I do. Question. In this discussion of binds, how is that affected by the fact that one can extinguish and reestablish a lightsaber blade fairly rapidly?

Posted by: Methos at November 28, 2014 08:05 AM (A6vWB)

350 Okay, when the black guy pops up in the Stormtrooper armor in the desert, I wanted him to yell "WE AIN'T FOUND SHIT!" Posted by: --- at November 28, 2014 10:40 AM (MMC8r) lol, I thought the same thing. I was thinking wtf is this spaceballs??

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at November 28, 2014 08:05 AM (FMbng)

351 All it was missing was enormous bins of coal. Posted by: eman

Did you not see the Irish colliers busily shoveling away?  Sadly, they all drowned when the Enterprise hit an iceberg.

Posted by: pep at November 28, 2014 08:06 AM (4nR9/)

352
Primary point of this trailer: Hey kids! A black guy and a strong woman!
Posted by: tsj017




Woman?  Don't be surprised if you discover around 1:15 in the film that "gender is just a social construct".

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at November 28, 2014 08:06 AM (kdS6q)

353 DOCX is the "new" Microsoft Word document format.  May have to get their translator thingy to use it with an older version...

Posted by: T. Jeff at November 28, 2014 08:07 AM (/Ho8c)

354 Our calendars were a bit different before the advent of the commies.

Posted by: Zombie Abe Lincoln at November 28, 2014 08:08 AM (Dwehj)

355 It's in a different format, shows up as a red folder, while the other two are blue, and it says DOCX rather than PDF or something more familiar. Windows. Win7 or higher. DOCX is MS Office.

Posted by: rickb223[/s][/i][/b] at November 28, 2014 08:09 AM (R6it6)

356 Thanks, T.Jeff, that's somewhere to start. Better than sitting here clicking it a dozen times hoping it will magically work THIS time, which has been my strategy up to now.

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 28, 2014 08:09 AM (2cS/G)

357 I can haz football thread?

Posted by: Nom de Blog at November 28, 2014 08:09 AM (yjPMc)

358 If you have Microsoft Word, what version do you have?

Posted by: T. Jeff at November 28, 2014 08:09 AM (/Ho8c)

359 No lens flare. Can't be right.

Posted by: CDR M at November 28, 2014 08:10 AM (93D1V)

360 Which is disappointing considering how realistic most movies are. -- I wasn't bashing it, just noting it's pointless to try to figure out the internal logic of something that has none. Things just happen. A wizard did it. Most movies actually are more realistic than Star Wars -- but people don't want realism in movies cause that is boring. We want fantastic crazy shit that makes no sense. We want it to appear to possibly make sense (as long as you don't think about it). Star Wars isn't even science fiction. It's just Harry Potter in Space with magic swords. And that's fine. Realism is boring.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 28, 2014 08:11 AM (zwdxl)

361 Our calendars were a bit different before the advent of the commies. Posted by: Zombie Abe Lincoln Inflation/devaluation. Days of the week don't go as far as they used to.

Posted by: rickb223[/s][/i][/b] at November 28, 2014 08:11 AM (R6it6)

362 Try this:

http://tinyurl.com/mc778kq



Posted by: T. Jeff at November 28, 2014 08:11 AM (/Ho8c)

363 "DOCX is the "new" Microsoft Word document format. May have to get their translator thingy to use it with an older version..."

OpenOffice and LibreOffice can both open, edit, and save in DOCX.  And, the price is right.

Posted by: Keith Arnold at November 28, 2014 08:12 AM (iIzG7)

364 What happens if you lunge/thrust forward? You push your opponent's blade away at the same time you attack.
Posted by: Terra Incognito at November 28, 2014 12:49 PM (1UWg+)


Yeah, but the outer end of a blade is called the "weak" for a reason.  You can use it to slap aside another blade at the outer end (and you do in olympic fencing to take initiative for an attack), but the closer to the belly of the blade the contact point of your blade is (and the farther away from the hilt of your opponent's) the more slap for the work and the better chance of actually getting your opponent's blade out of line so you can follow through on a cut or a thrust.  It is Archimedes and levers and such.

Of course, blade shape and handling are one with the fighting style.  Each defines the other, and both are limited by the technology of making the blade.  My experience is all foil and epee, and occasional bashing with mock swords, so I am really talking through my ass.

I never quite got to kendo or broadsword which is what the Jedi styles are based on.  I was always wondering why you wouldn't pink someone in the big toe with a lightsaber and cut the throat when they dance around screaming, "Ow! Mother of.." before laughing yourself sick.

Posted by: Kindltot at November 28, 2014 08:12 AM (t//F+)

365 Dec 2015. How long until I can stream it? (legally)

Posted by: fluffy at November 28, 2014 08:12 AM (Ua6T/)

366 I have Windows XP, I never use Word, I think my wife always keeps current with her Word upgrades, etc., I'll try from her laptop when she gets back in town if I haven't opened it by then.

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 28, 2014 08:12 AM (2cS/G)

367 Thanks, rick, Keith, I'll try all of those.

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 28, 2014 08:13 AM (2cS/G)

368 Good to know, KeithArnold. 

Haven't used OpenOffice in a long time...was pretty decent alternative back in the day.

Posted by: T. Jeff at November 28, 2014 08:13 AM (/Ho8c)

369 OpenOffice is pretty slick for freeware. One drawback - it takes like 4 years to install.

Posted by: Zombie Abe Lincoln at November 28, 2014 08:14 AM (Dwehj)

370 Methos, when you find me a sabre with an off switch I would love to experiment.

Posted by: Kindltot at November 28, 2014 08:14 AM (t//F+)

371 If you don't have a recent version of MS Office, LibreOffice can read/write .docx with varying success and is free.  It's available for Windows, Linux, and Mac.

www.libreoffice.org

Posted by: Big McLargehuge at November 28, 2014 08:15 AM (u9OP6)

372 OpenOffice and LibreOffice can both open, edit, and save in DOCX. And, the price is right. +1 on OpenOffice. Free is always the right price.

Posted by: rickb223[/s][/i][/b] at November 28, 2014 08:15 AM (R6it6)

373 348 DOCX is a Microsoft Word format. If you don't have MS Office, you can open it with Open Office, which is free.

Posted by: Captain Whitebread is not feeling very chipper right now at November 28, 2014 08:15 AM (4X5NS)

374 Canada has no free speech. $80k cause he called a guy an "anti-semite" - a guy who ran an Islamist org in Canada that preached hatred of Jews, destruction of Israel, etc, etc. Of course, the muzzies get to call Levant an "islamophobe" and Levant can't sue -- court system only works one way. $80k fine is real money. "And yet the judge ruled that it is defamatory to call the former youth president of an anti-Semitic organization, anti-Semitic. Because he denied it in court, and said he never knew about his organization's infamous misconduct." Gavin McInnes @Gavin_McInnes 4h They just fined @ezralevant $80,000 for calling an anti-semite an anti-semite http://www.standwithezra.ca

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 28, 2014 08:17 AM (zwdxl)

375 oh for fuck sake .... why does the dark side have the cross sabre ? will the galactic nursing home for the original cast smell like piss ? oh and fuck you hans shot first and I like it !!!!

Posted by: alec at November 28, 2014 08:17 AM (DxQWB)

376 Going by Drudge the 'Black Friday Boycott' is a massive fail.

Posted by: --- at November 28, 2014 08:17 AM (MMC8r)

377 oh we stopped talking about starwars a long time ago ... my bad

Posted by: alec at November 28, 2014 08:18 AM (DxQWB)

378
The new Stars Wars film sounds like the perfect movie date for me and my girlfriend!

Her name.  Uhhh - Mary.  Mary Condolezza du Bois.

Can you meet her. No!  I, mean -- no.  She's uhhh in the Army.  The Canadian Army. My girlfriend is in the Canadian Army and that's why you can't meet her.

Posted by: A Nerd sans Femme

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at November 28, 2014 08:20 AM (kdS6q)

379 french Canadian ?

Posted by: alec at November 28, 2014 08:21 AM (DxQWB)

380 Thanks all, looks like OpenOffice is going to do the trick.

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 28, 2014 08:21 AM (2cS/G)

381
*stops in, steals Vader's light saber out of his wal-mart shopping cart*

Hey, its black friday.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 28, 2014 08:23 AM (NtzGn)

382 I so hoe they revive X-Wing for PC with this. One of the best games ever.

Posted by: Iblis at November 28, 2014 08:25 AM (vJ9uz)

383 At least he doesn't say it was Cosby: Shia LaBeouf: I was raped http://tinyurl.com/m5soacy

Posted by: --- at November 28, 2014 08:25 AM (MMC8r)

384 Racist Jedi always blamin everything on the Dark Side

Posted by: BunnyFooFoo at November 28, 2014 08:26 AM (fdjeU)

385 OpenOffice is pretty slick for freeware. One drawback - it takes like 4 years to install. Posted by: Zombie ------------------- And is rather slow to open. But..., free.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at November 28, 2014 08:27 AM (F2IAQ)

386 especially that mace windoo prick

Posted by: alec at November 28, 2014 08:27 AM (DxQWB)

387 It's 6% installed, but I'm in no rush now that I know I'll be able to open it eventually. Just need it in hand by Monday AM.

Posted by: Lincolntf at November 28, 2014 08:28 AM (2cS/G)

388 Just can't bring myself to watch.

Are there lens flares?  Please tell me there are no lens flares.

Posted by: cool arrow at November 28, 2014 08:29 AM (7XKHI)

389 May the Schwartz be with you!

Posted by: Yogurt at November 28, 2014 08:30 AM (lN8KC)

390 OMG...it's full of lens flares.

Posted by: Captain Whitebread is not feeling very chipper right now at November 28, 2014 08:30 AM (4X5NS)

391 I've been using OpenOffice (thought I had to have it to read/write .docx and viarient files), and the learning curve had me in a screaming rage more than once until I learned where all the options are in the drop down menu and how to set the damn thing up to do what I wanted done. An just when you think you have set a option, you find out it doesn't do what you think it would do. Nearly took a sledge hammer to the desktop, twice. But that's just me.

Posted by: Terra Incognito at November 28, 2014 08:32 AM (1UWg+)

392 I half expected the guy in the first shot to say "We ain't found shit!" (Re: Spaceballs)

Posted by: RT at November 28, 2014 08:33 AM (Wo9OY)

393 Fox News Health @foxnewshealth #Ebola cases near 16,000, Seirra Leone to overtake Liberia soon with most cases: WHO ow.ly/F2e2J

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 28, 2014 08:35 AM (zwdxl)

394 May the Schwartz be with you! Posted by: Yogurt at November 28, 2014 01:30 PM (lN8KC) I HATE Yogurt!

Posted by: Dark Helmet at November 28, 2014 08:35 AM (W5DcG)

395 The Force Awakens --sponsored by Metamucil

Posted by: USA at November 28, 2014 08:35 AM (m8hf7)

396 BONERS. TRUST IN JJ. BONERS.

Posted by: Luigi's Index Finger at November 28, 2014 08:36 AM (OqeDl)

397 Going by Drudge the 'Black Friday Boycott' is a massive fail. Posted by: --- at November 28, 2014 01:17 PM (MMC8r) What if they gave a boycott and nobody came?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at November 28, 2014 08:38 AM (W5DcG)

398 307 As demonstrated by Vader in 5 and Obiwan in 3, if a Jedi needs a gun, he can pretty muych snatch it from one of the other combatants.

I'm pretty sure that, with the new rules, snatching a gun still requires a background check and paperwork.

Posted by: Anachronda at November 28, 2014 08:39 AM (coJ1L)

399 #Ebola cases near 16,000, Seirra Leone to overtake Liberia soon with most cases: WHO ow.ly/F2e2J Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 28, 2014 01:35 PM (zwdxl) I ♥ Seirra Leone

Posted by: Ebola-chan at November 28, 2014 08:39 AM (lN8KC)

400 315 If he hadn't included the tropes people would be pissed at him. I thinking going after the canon is kind of no win, though, so at least he made the nods in the right places. The whole thing sucked. A mega powered ship that's taken by the Klingons without it being destroyed or copied, and then left where its captain could get at it again, would just be another example of lousy writing.

Posted by: J at November 28, 2014 08:40 AM (CGzAz)

401 The Force Awakens rejected alternative title: Morning Wood

Posted by: USA at November 28, 2014 08:41 AM (m8hf7)

402 If a jedi master can use the hand wave to block bullets and large objects, why can the jedi master not use the hand wave to block a light saber?

Posted by: Terra Incognito at November 28, 2014 08:42 AM (1UWg+)

403 147 So, what's the accepted nomenclature for the series? Mine is: Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back Shit Shit Shit after eating $20 worth of Taco Bell Shit Upcoming Shit ---------- Fixed for mine.

Posted by: Nigel West Dickens at November 28, 2014 08:43 AM (ttJ2z)

404 I never quite got to kendo or broadsword which is what the Jedi styles are based on. I was always wondering why you wouldn't pink someone in the big toe with a lightsaber and cut the throat when they dance around screaming, "Ow! Mother of.." before laughing yourself sick.

Posted by: Kindltot


Mostly because you've then opened your entire profile in order to hit his toe. He'll take the hit to the foot while decapitating you.

It only works in epee, those sad weirdos.

The lightsaber fighting is mostly definitely cribbed from chambara / samurai flicks, ie, it's a cinematic style with little to no relation to shit that would work.

Posted by: weft cut-loop[/i][/b] at November 28, 2014 08:43 AM (s9AKD)

405 I kinda expected the black dude to say "I seen shit that'd turn you white!"

Posted by: tcn in AK, almost at November 28, 2014 08:43 AM (g+qqc)

406 A study has shown that 100% of Black Friday shoppers have an IQ under 85. True story.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at November 28, 2014 08:44 AM (IffJr)

407 I'm pretty sure that, with the new rules, snatching a gun still requires a background check and paperwork. Posted by: Anachronda -------------- Heh.

Posted by: Michael Brown at November 28, 2014 08:44 AM (F2IAQ)

408 I'm pretty confident the new SW movies will be decent with well-done action scenes. Doubt they'll be great. Don't really care either way. Would rather see something new. Or some of the classic scifi series like Foundation, Rama, etc, Understand why proven franchises get the big money, though. Ender's Game movie sucked.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 28, 2014 08:45 AM (zwdxl)

409 If a jedi master can use the hand wave to block bullets and large objects, why can the jedi master not use the hand wave to block a light saber? -- Cuz Force Magic and ... stuff.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 28, 2014 08:46 AM (zwdxl)

410 they don't fight in movies -- they dance

Posted by: Please Don't Squeeze The Soothsayer at November 28, 2014 08:48 AM (prTbl)

411 Ooo, Foundation would be cool.

Posted by: T. Jeff at November 28, 2014 08:49 AM (/Ho8c)

412 I'd like to see less CGI acrobatics in the fight scenes. It looks stupid. Particularly when it's someone like Christopher Lee.

Posted by: --- at November 28, 2014 08:52 AM (MMC8r)

413 Ooo, Foundation would be cool. Posted by: T. Jeff at November 28, 2014 01:49 PM (/Ho8c) Who would be the Mule?

Posted by: Hari Seldon's Hat at November 28, 2014 08:53 AM (lN8KC)

414

WTF?  Some random black guy wandering around in a storm trooper suit in the dessert followed by "soccer-ball2D2"

That was the worst trailer I've ever seen.  About the ONLY good thing you could say about the prequels was at least they had good trailers with some tasty new John Williams scoring. 

This just sucked. 

Posted by: Sam In VA at November 28, 2014 08:55 AM (Q52VH)

415 Wait. Levar Burton is now a stormtrooper? I've been watching Star Wars Rebels on Disney channel with my 9-year old son. We watched all the Clone Wars episodes this summer. While we mostly enjoyed Clone Wars, we both think Disney's Rebels is teh suck. Disney ruined that. I hope they don't ruin the Star Wars feature film. Disney might be making money but they aren't making great films. Look what's happened to Pixar since Disney bought them. Pre-Disney, Pixar was frickin' rocking the animated movies. Now they just do sequel crap like Cars and Monsters Inc. 2. Oh yeah and next year they're doing Finding Nemo 2. I hate how they're wringing ever penny out of what was once a respectable, beloved franchise.

Posted by: Brass Bancroft at November 28, 2014 08:56 AM (tCODv)

416 In years past, I've avoided black Friday like the plague. Could not resist this year and scored a Ruger 10/22 for $99. Of course, I have to wait 10 days to actually pick it up. F/U Cailifornia.

Posted by: Beer Ninja at November 28, 2014 08:57 AM (2r/HT)

417 Foundation would be difficult to do in a movie because so much of it is mental. It would have all of the action of Smiley's People.

Posted by: Terra Incognito at November 28, 2014 08:58 AM (1UWg+)

418 "I seen shit that'd turn you white!"



Winston Zeddemore, that you? 



Posted by: Ricardo Kill at November 28, 2014 08:59 AM (P1oZa)

419 All I can say is that I hope Inara Serra gets lots of screen time

Posted by: MTF at November 28, 2014 08:59 AM (Bhbud)

420 "Could not resist this year and scored a Ruger 10/22 for $99"


Ehhh.....  Nice score.

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at November 28, 2014 09:02 AM (P1oZa)

421 the trailer was a beast. jump in traffic if you didn't like it

Posted by: Luigi's Index Finger at November 28, 2014 09:15 AM (OqeDl)

422 #413 Obama.

Posted by: Richard McEnroe at November 28, 2014 09:18 AM (6SLAZ)

423 Eh...they lost me with the Wayans brother storm trooper. Also wouldn't land speeders make more sense for a low altitude assault?

Posted by: Ernie McCracken at November 28, 2014 09:18 AM (K1SnB)

424 423 Eh...they lost me with the Wayans brother storm trooper. Also wouldn't land speeders make more sense for a low altitude assault? Posted by: Ernie McCracken at November 28, 2014 02:18 PM (K1SnB) I thought X-wings don't work over water. Wait. Nevermind.

Posted by: eman at November 28, 2014 09:26 AM (MQEz6)

425 Hari Seldon and his "science" sucked donkey balls.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars(TM) [/i][/u][/s] at November 28, 2014 09:28 AM (/dvmK)

426 No need to angst over the black stormtrooper. 1) We don't know whether he's good (for a given stormtrooper value thereof) or evil (= Sith) yet. 2) Lando Calrissian was black, so we know black people exist in the SW universe. 3) It's not Jango Fett's face CGI'd on, which would seem to establish that Stormtroopers are not the same as Clone Troopers. 4) The more pretty explosions and cool battles there are in this, the less chance there is they can fuck things up. If what JJ gives us is two solid hours of combat with only brief glimpses of plot, BE GRATEFUL. I can handle hammy scene-chewing Sith drama so long as we don't get Jar-Jar, Amidala and Anakin again. 5) I do love that lightsabre. They've managed to come up with a new variation and it's neat, although personally I always wondered what effect those blaster-deflecting shields some of the Gungan soldiers in Phantom Menace might have on a lightsabre blade. I'll give it a chance.

Posted by: perturbed at November 28, 2014 09:36 AM (TXq4O)

427 We know there won't be a lot of walk talks in this movie. Most of the characters from the original films are so old they can barely walk (Billy Dee Williams for example).

Posted by: Ernie McCracken at November 28, 2014 09:44 AM (K1SnB)

428 420 "Could not resist this year and scored a Ruger 10/22 for $99"

--------------------

Good God, man, where?!?

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at November 28, 2014 10:07 AM (4ckfx)

429 Evil Dark Jedi William Wallace with his Jedi claymore moves beyond the wall in a desperate move to avoid the white walkers.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at November 28, 2014 10:07 AM (puS7T)

430

I think they should just go hyper-suck on the whole franchise. 

 

Cast Will Smith's kid in the lead role, with Justin Bieber as his rogue-ish sidekick cruisin' 'round the galaxy in a Millenium Escalade.  Sophia Vergara can play some fish-lipped space princess, and get Ashton Kutcher to be the next Sith Lord -- Darth Dumbass or whatever.  "Dude have You Seen My Tie Fighter?" 

For the old cast, Carrie Fisher can come back, as an old-worn out Jedi Whore-Lord, and Mace Windu can come back too, only this time running a seedy bar in Mos Isley selling space-heroin out the back and ranting about how the "...Emperor deserved to die and I hope he burns in hell!"

You could get Nelly or Lil Wayne to score the whole thing.  Maybe work in an Alien vs. Predator tie-in.

 

In other words, if you're gonna f--k it up, f--k it RIGHT UP.

Posted by: Sam In VA at November 28, 2014 10:10 AM (Q52VH)

431 Posted by: Costanza Defense at November 28, 2014 01:45 PM (zwdxl) I thought Ender's Game was decent. The problem was they hit all of points but with the wrong emphasis. They really needed to show Ender pushed to his limit. Plus I was annoyed that hey didn't fight the Formics in space for the beginning sequence and they didn't point out the Formics had attacked Earth twice. I would have split the movie into two parts. Battle School through him deciding to head off to Command School. And then the rest of the story for the second film.

Posted by: Better Feared than Loved at November 28, 2014 10:33 AM (jasFi)

432 I saw some Social Justice Warriors on Twitter crowing that black people and women wouldn't be the first people shown in the trailer if not for them.

I hadn't even noticed.

Posted by: Kensington (@NYKensington) at November 28, 2014 10:33 AM (uaEZS)

433 I thought the astromech droid, with the Artoo-like head on a rolling ball of a body, looked dumb.

The sith whose lightsaber also sprouted smaller blades on both sides of his hand also looked stupid. You know, the instant you swing that thing outside its "normal" range of motion (which WILL happen in a real fight) you'll lose half your hand, Darth Dumbass?

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler at November 28, 2014 12:09 PM (5pg79)

434 This will break Avatars record.

And for the idiots complaining about the trailer. IT IS NOT A TRAILER!!! It is called a teaser for a reason. They just finished principle photography. They hardly have any footage to show. They just started post production. These clips are probably just the few that were ready to go.

So many of you truly are morons.

Posted by: Sho Nuff at November 28, 2014 01:23 PM (yXRXV)

435 I like what I see so far. I get the impression it's going to be unlike what we saw in the prequels and more in line with what the first three movies were like.

Posted by: Reggie1971 at November 28, 2014 01:29 PM (S11Oq)

436 really with the black storm trooper rage guys? sometimes i hate this place

Posted by: Luigi's Index Finger at November 28, 2014 01:57 PM (OqeDl)

437 really with the black storm trooper rage guys?

sometimes i hate this place Posted by: Luigi's Index Finger

----------------------

Yeah, sometimes the experience can be... suboptimal. But I just chalk that up to a flinch reaction from having "diversity" shoved down our throats.

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at November 28, 2014 03:57 PM (4ckfx)

438 In the search for more money they are going to have to re-boot or do another complete update to the originals with even better CGI. In George Lucus' wildest dreams in 1977 could not even envision a shot in this teaser of the falcon. Long gone are the miniature model makers and in to the world that every movie is just a green set and they will fill in the background later.

Posted by: TJ at November 28, 2014 04:07 PM (G1eTV)

439 This is the first thing that came to mind - my bad. http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/18928800.jpg

Posted by: Archer at November 28, 2014 04:44 PM (MTuyR)

440 How does the infinity gauntlet figure in this?

Posted by: Dave M at November 28, 2014 04:56 PM (NSOen)

441 How did Jordi Le Forge get into the Star Wars universe. Most have went into an alternate universe?

Posted by: Africanus at November 28, 2014 07:19 PM (M/ykt)

442 Looks promising... but then, I thought the same about the Phantom Menace trailer too.  At least no George "Han didn't shoot first" Lucas running the show so I remain optimistic.

Posted by: Daniel at November 29, 2014 12:44 AM (xTgSv)

443 since Star Wars is a never ending soap opera, JJ Abrams, a man who isn't very good at 3rd acts, is probably the right choice for director.

Posted by: X at November 29, 2014 04:10 AM (KHo8t)

444 "159 Hey kids! A black guy and a strong woman! Not nearly inclusive enough. Unacceptable." Social Justus Whoreiers spotted a latino pilot in the trailer. I am not quite sure how black men exist in SW because while there is Lando the closest thing to black women are the huts.

Posted by: Anubis at November 30, 2014 11:39 AM (WEJBu)

445 Hello Web Admin, I noticed that your On-Page SEO is is missing a few factors, for one you do not use all three H tags in your post, also I notice that you are not using bold or italics properly in your SEO optimization. On-Page SEO means more now than ever since the new Google update: Panda. No longer are backlinks and simply pinging or sending out a RSS feed the key to getting Google PageRank or Alexa Rankings, You now NEED On-Page SEO. So what is good On-Page SEO?First your keyword must appear in the title.Then it must appear in the URL.You have to optimize your keyword and make sure that it has a nice keyword density of 3-5% in your article with relevant LSI (Latent Semantic Indexing). Then you should spread all H1,H2,H3 tags in your article.Your Keyword should appear in your first paragraph and in the last sentence of the page. You should have relevant usage of Bold and italics of your keyword.There should be one internal link to a page on your blog and you should have one image with an alt tag that has your keyword....wait there's even more Now what if i told you there was a simple Wordpress plugin that does all the On-Page SEO, and automatically for you? That's right AUTOMATICALLY, just watch this 4minute video for more information at. Seo Plugin

Posted by: seo at December 25, 2014 03:29 AM (nAmxd)

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