April 28, 2014

Female Performance Artist Shocks the Art World By Staging Event That Doesn't Involve Her Vagina At All
— Ace

Just kidding.

Of course it involves her vagina.

How could it not involve her vagina? Women are more than their genitals, and female performance artists prove this by only making art with their genitals.

You wouldn't understand, H8r.

Visitors to this week's Art Cologne fair were greeted with an unsightly sight: an attractive, naked women perched astride two ladders, squatting over a canvas. Swiss performance artist Milo Moiré was about to “birth” an abstract painting—by disgorging paint-filled eggs from her vagina.

...

According to Moiré, “PlopEgg Painting” is intended to evoke a “loose train of thoughts” about “the creation [of] fear, the symbolic strength of the casual and the creative power of femininity.” By plopping eggs. Out of her vagina.

...

Despite her clunky metaphors, Moiré, like most performance artists, must tell us the “meaning” of her work, lest the viewer misunderstand its seriousness.

...

Put obliquely by Moiré, “Within the context of art (performance), commerce (art fair) and opinion creation (media) a deliberate-accidental creation act happens, which instantly provokes ambivalent interpretations.”

There's an enormous dodge in the art world. It's the word "challenge." As in, "This artwork is intended to challenge the viewer's idea of what art is."

You hear this bullshit a lot. This Snootch-Painter suggested the idea in saying her intent was to "provoke[] ambivalent interpretations."

When you claim to merely be "challenging" someone's idea of what art is, you are, coincidentally enough, shielding yourself from critique based upon existing standards.

Hey, you're challenging those standards. Hence, they cannot be applied to you.

You can't be said to have failed any number of traditional criteria for evaluation of an art; your "challenge" to those criteria places you outside such booszhwah standards, above them.

And who's to say what a good vaginal-egg-paint painting would look like, anyway?

That's right-- You don't know, so just shut up.

It's just the happiest of all happy accidents that the most talentless would-be artists choose to "challenge" the conventional criteria for evaluating actual artistic talent.

In addition, merely "challenging" something is an exceedingly low-ambition threshold to clear, isn't it?

Some artists and writers set high standards in terms of what they intend to accomplish. For example, a writer might set out to disprove a proposition.

Imagine if that same writer set for his ambition merely the easy threshold of challenging something. All he has to do is ask a single rhetorical question and he wins -- he has accomplished his goal according to his own standard. He said he was only going to "challenge" an idea, and he does so, with a single piece of punctuation.

Right . . . ?

Bang! Donzo. Challenging, accomplished!

This is all obvious, of course, and it's obvious to anyone who stands outside the art world and who isn't thus financially invested in the proposition that this crap is preposterously easy to do (and hence unworthy of monetary reward) and foundationally stupid (and hence unworthy of commentary, much less praise!).

But this is art, for the moment, and by "the moment," I mean the last 40 years.


Oh: If you wish to see the "art" this stunt produced, here it is, though of course the resulting painting isn't the point.

Lot of red in there. And of course she folded it over to create a symmetry (like they do at Smear Some Paint activities at carnivals).

So she created a red vagina-looking thing.

How On the Nose.

People wanted to see her naked. Well here's another happy accident -- because she wants you to see her naked, too.

Okay, here is a Not Safe For Work video in which she boards a train, naked, with the word "Bra" written on her where her bra would be, etc.

She does look good naked. And gee, what a coincidence. Almost all of her "art" involves her being naked. Kind of playing right into her "artistic wheelhouse."

So again, Not Safe For Work, here she is naked on a train, in video form.

So like when your boss asks you "Why are you yanking your shank to pornography?" you can give him a sophisticated, rakish wink and reply, "I'm yanking my shank to A Happening."

Posted by: Ace at 01:12 PM | Comments (295)
Post contains 729 words, total size 5 kb.

1 " Snootch-Painter"

Posted by: steevy at April 28, 2014 01:13 PM (zqvg6)

2

And thus, the word "Snootch Painter" was born.

Posted by: Bosk at April 28, 2014 01:15 PM (n2K+4)

3 *ahem* Pix? I mean, the article says she's attractive. Beauty, beholder, eye, something something. Anyway...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 28, 2014 01:15 PM (0HooB)

4 I have a bit of performance art that I would like to share: I whip out my monster and beat it like it owes me money. It is truly an awesome sight to behold.

Any assistance that anyone can provide in getting me gigs would be deeply appreciated.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at April 28, 2014 01:15 PM (IN7k+)

5 Just because nobody understands you, doesn't make you an artist

Posted by: The Jackhole at April 28, 2014 01:16 PM (nTgAI)

6 A snatch of all trades eh ?

Posted by: The Jackhole at April 28, 2014 01:17 PM (nTgAI)

7 >>>Pix? I mean, the article says she's attractive. i doubt it.

Posted by: ace at April 28, 2014 01:17 PM (/FnUH)

8 Cooter cotuire

Posted by: The Jackhole at April 28, 2014 01:17 PM (nTgAI)

9 Been there, done that. With wine barrels.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at April 28, 2014 01:17 PM (8FyP4)

10 i was wrong, she's hot.

Posted by: ace at April 28, 2014 01:17 PM (/FnUH)

11 Meh, they do this in Thailand and get paid for it. All participants are equally not challenged.

Posted by: Seems legit at April 28, 2014 01:18 PM (A98Xu)

12 Jackson Pollock was a genius by comparison and I hate his crap.

Posted by: huerfano at April 28, 2014 01:18 PM (bAGA/)

13 My work challenges the viewer.

Posted by: Cecilia Gimnez at April 28, 2014 01:18 PM (8ZskC)

14 Yeah, the article said she was naked, too.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 28, 2014 01:19 PM (0HooB)

15 We are challenging the way law schools are ranked. See, we're number 2 now!

Posted by: Thomas Cooley Law School at April 28, 2014 01:19 PM (eFytx)

16 You know tax payer dollars are involved in this bullshit somehow.

Posted by: Iblis at April 28, 2014 01:19 PM (9221z)

17 The article mentions, "sizable breast implants" because feminism is about...oh whatever.

Posted by: Seems legit at April 28, 2014 01:19 PM (A98Xu)

18 So if she's teh hot, then who's looking at the "art?"

Posted by: Anonymous hobo who doesn't want to become jerky at April 28, 2014 01:20 PM (jd9nB)

19 She's the minge Monet.

Posted by: Countrysquire at April 28, 2014 01:20 PM (8FyP4)

20 In Soviet Russia, authority challenge you.

Posted by: Yakov Smirnov at April 28, 2014 01:20 PM (8ZskC)

21 What crap.

Posted by: Jackson Pollock at April 28, 2014 01:20 PM (8ZskC)

22 Want to impress me, sugartits? Paint a wall.

Posted by: Andy at April 28, 2014 01:21 PM (IS2o0)

23 It's official. "Shocking the bourgeoisie" is now bourgeois.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 28, 2014 01:21 PM (V4CBV)

24 Just clicked the link. Looks like she had a chili omelette for lunch.

Posted by: Anonymous hobo who doesn't want to become jerky at April 28, 2014 01:21 PM (jd9nB)

25 I was challenged to not be repulsed by Lena Dunham's fathers art work.

Posted by: Seems legit at April 28, 2014 01:21 PM (A98Xu)

26 Everybody needs a job, or something.

Posted by: Czar Peter at April 28, 2014 01:21 PM (uBEpI)

27 Pfft. I shoot chickens which then shoot eggs out of my happy place.

Posted by: Dandy Sandy Fluke at April 28, 2014 01:21 PM (QeH9j)

28 The clam Cizanne.

Posted by: Countrysquire at April 28, 2014 01:21 PM (8FyP4)

29 Oh, sure, but when a guy paints a face, THAT's a problem.

Posted by: Michael at April 28, 2014 01:22 PM (smKbx)

30 …and the use of possessives.

Posted by: Seems legit at April 28, 2014 01:22 PM (A98Xu)

31 Coochelangelo

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 28, 2014 01:22 PM (8ZskC)

32 Michelle Obama said her husband's presidency would challenge us, and she was right!

Posted by: angler at April 28, 2014 01:23 PM (XgLh+)

33 Leonardo DeVagi.

Posted by: davidt at April 28, 2014 01:23 PM (PAplM)

34 Not from her blue period, I take it.

Posted by: Feh at April 28, 2014 01:23 PM (sbL9/)

35 Vag Gogh.

Posted by: Countrysquire at April 28, 2014 01:23 PM (8FyP4)

36 How do you want your eggs ?

Posted by: Milo Moir at April 28, 2014 01:23 PM (nTgAI)

37 So, she's literally going to poop out eggs from her cooch? Sure this isn't an event form some Red Neck Olympics?

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 28, 2014 01:23 PM (ZPrif)

38 No sex tonight, dear. I'm working and I can't have a sticky egg cannon.

Posted by: Milo Moire at April 28, 2014 01:23 PM (8ZskC)

39 a deliberate-accidental creation act happens --That phrase may seem pretentiously paradoxical, but it probably best describes when my son was conceived.

Posted by: logprof at April 28, 2014 01:24 PM (GW/jL)

40 So if I cover my wingwong in paint and slap a canvas with it repeatedly, can I get some schmuck to buy it as art?

Posted by: Cato at April 28, 2014 01:24 PM (4cRuH)

41 But can she do pancakes?

Posted by: An Art Critic at April 28, 2014 01:24 PM (8ZskC)

42 The beaver Bottecelli.

Posted by: Countrysquire at April 28, 2014 01:24 PM (8FyP4)

43 Damn. Nobody told me there was a nood. I feel like I'm living in Apartheid.

Posted by: Soothsayer, corn bread assassin at April 28, 2014 01:25 PM (j4y5j)

44

What's next?

 

Stained, used Maxi-Pads being held up as "Art"?

 

The whole idea of this is gross. 

Posted by: wheatie at April 28, 2014 01:25 PM (la7X9)

45 Hmm, OK, I did some clicking and discovered that she indeed has nice boobehs and apparently enjoys letting the random public see them on a subway. I'd probably hit it, but paint as a lubricant? I'm not so sure about that...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 28, 2014 01:25 PM (0HooB)

46 So if I cover my wingwong in paint and slap a canvas with it repeatedly, can I get some schmuck to buy it as art? Posted by: Cato at April 28, 2014 06:24 PM (4cRuH) Paint me, baby

Posted by: Barney Frank [/i][/b][/s][/u] at April 28, 2014 01:25 PM (yz6yg)

47 So if I cover my wingwong in paint and slap a canvas with it repeatedly, can I get some schmuck to buy it as art?

Posted by: Cato at April 28, 2014 06:24 PM (4cRuH)

 

That's hot

Posted by: Sondra Fluk at April 28, 2014 01:25 PM (nTgAI)

48 The pussy Picasso.

Posted by: Countrysquire at April 28, 2014 01:25 PM (8FyP4)

49 This is one gal I won't be telling to go make me a sammich.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at April 28, 2014 01:26 PM (oFCZn)

50 Here's my challenging poem. ------------- Suck it! ------------- I'm awesome.

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at April 28, 2014 01:26 PM (h53OH)

51 I'll be impressed when she can paint on the wall. Pew Pew

Posted by: The Hickster at April 28, 2014 01:26 PM (5bbdJ)

52 She's not an "artist" She's an attention whore.

Posted by: The Political Hat at April 28, 2014 01:26 PM (CTCNK)

53 How does she even fit an egg up there? I mean .... how?

Posted by: sunny-dee at April 28, 2014 01:26 PM (bxdmt)

54 The gash Giotto.

Posted by: Countrysquire at April 28, 2014 01:26 PM (8FyP4)

55  Hmm, OK, I did some clicking and discovered that she indeed has nice boobehs and apparently enjoys letting the random public see them on a subway.

I'd probably hit it, but paint as a lubricant? I'm not so sure about that...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at April 28, 2014 06:25 PM (0HooB)

 

Gives blue balls a whole new meaning

Posted by: Sondra Fluk at April 28, 2014 01:26 PM (nTgAI)

56 Spectacular!  Why haven't I painted the house with my dick!?

Posted by: Dang at April 28, 2014 01:26 PM (MNq6o)

57 I am pretty sure she has more traffic up in there than rush hour

Posted by: Thunderb at April 28, 2014 01:26 PM (zOTsN)

58 How come there's no penis based art? Watch me piss onto snow! It's art! 'Murica, fuck yeah!

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 28, 2014 01:26 PM (ZPrif)

59 Mons Monet

Posted by: steevy at April 28, 2014 01:27 PM (zqvg6)

60 Monset.

Posted by: davidt at April 28, 2014 01:27 PM (PAplM)

61 I hope I can I express this correctly. Here goes. I'm glad that she made fun of the female human body instead of my Christian beliefs. Pretty easy to pick on Christians. What Abe Lincoln say? Better to keep your vagina closed than to open it up and let people know you are a dumb c*nt

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at April 28, 2014 01:27 PM (HVff2)

62 In the olden days, performance artists were referred to as mental defectives.

Posted by: Soothsayer, corn bread assassin at April 28, 2014 01:27 PM (j4y5j)

63  me slow

Posted by: davidt at April 28, 2014 01:27 PM (PAplM)

64 Daddy issues as an art form.

Posted by: Seems legit at April 28, 2014 01:27 PM (A98Xu)

65 In a scrambled world Her art goes over easy They just egg her on

Posted by: Art Haikooch at April 28, 2014 01:27 PM (8ZskC)

66 I'd hit like a brush rack.

Posted by: Zombie Bob Ross at April 28, 2014 01:27 PM (2DunM)

67 Are they "cage free" eggs ?

Posted by: The Jackhole at April 28, 2014 01:28 PM (nTgAI)

68 Who is more the fool, this 'performer' or her audience?

Posted by: Soothsayer, corn bread assassin at April 28, 2014 01:28 PM (j4y5j)

69 Didn't some guy shit on canvas and smear it into " art"? I prefer her interpretation.

Posted by: steevy at April 28, 2014 01:28 PM (zqvg6)

70 There's a reason why I love the Hudson River school so much. Paintings like those take actual talent and skill. Women are more than their genitals *waves paw imperially* For to be linking/posting my stated position on this, s'il vous plait.

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh save us mighty SMOD at April 28, 2014 01:28 PM (dMSj2)

71 As the masters rot on walls and the angels eat their grapes I watched Picasso visit The Planet Of The Apes

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 28, 2014 01:28 PM (V4CBV)

72 10 i was wrong, she's hot. Posted by: ace at April 28, 2014 06:17 PM (/FnUH) ---------- I just did a google image search - yeah, she's a really hot freak. A freak, no doubt, but certainly goes in the "yes, i would" column.

Posted by: shredded chi at April 28, 2014 01:28 PM (QcuMc)

73 Caravaggio... wait, that's already a famous artist. Does it still work?

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 28, 2014 01:28 PM (8ifMA)

74 How do you like me now?

Posted by: Yoko Ono's grandaughter at April 28, 2014 01:28 PM (N3Al8)

75 The Veejer Vermeer.

Posted by: Chandler's Ghost at April 28, 2014 01:29 PM (2BL9N)

76 >>>Hmm, OK, I did some clicking and discovered that she indeed has nice boobehs and apparently enjoys letting the random public see them on a subway. I'd probably hit it, but paint as a lubricant? I'm not so sure about that... i've added this video in an update-- for the sake of critical artistic evaluation, you know.

Posted by: ace at April 28, 2014 01:29 PM (/FnUH)

77 In all seriousness, the greatest art right now is in video games. Interactive beauty.

Posted by: AMDG at April 28, 2014 01:29 PM (eFytx)

78
Also, turns out Germans can't say the word "squirrel"

http://youtu.be/ejuK8_12Fmg

So, between that and the cooter painting, what's up with those guys?

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 28, 2014 01:29 PM (kdS6q)

79 Wait, this gives me an idea...

Posted by: Artsy Fartsy at April 28, 2014 01:29 PM (PAplM)

80 So, we are basically already at Ass! The Movie in Idiocracy. When are we gonna have performance artists taking an enema and having loose shits on a stage? A lot of feminists bitch about women being afraid to fart and poop -- that pooping has literally been gendered, as they say. What would be more challenging than some feminist attention whore on stage, naked, farting, and crapping herself. Art, motherfuckers!

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 28, 2014 01:29 PM (ZPrif)

81

40 So if I cover my wingwong in paint and slap a canvas with it repeatedly, can I get some schmuck to buy it as art?

 

Only if you do a video of it.

 

Penis Painting.

Of course. 

If we're going to have gynie painting...then we have to have penis painting too.

Posted by: wheatie at April 28, 2014 01:29 PM (la7X9)

82 She's rather beautiful. But no omelets after morning sex.

Posted by: Seems legit at April 28, 2014 01:30 PM (A98Xu)

83 72 10 i was wrong, she's hot. Posted by: ace at April 28, 2014 06:17 PM (/FnUH) Cra-cra hot, watch out hitters

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at April 28, 2014 01:30 PM (HVff2)

84 she really is hot. I might be reevaluating my take here, fellas.

Posted by: ace at April 28, 2014 01:30 PM (/FnUH)

85 If that  painting was a Rorschach, my first reaction would  have been "Steve Irwin death scene."


Which probably  means I'm sexist... or  whatever ist that would be. 

Posted by: BurtTC at April 28, 2014 01:30 PM (BeSEI)

86 I take it then that whenever anyone takes a crap in the morning, they're leaving behind a masterpiece... because Art! The amount of idiocy in such spectacle is limitless. And, guess what? Endlessly boring. These talentless exhibitionists are so cliched in their act that I just yawn at them. And to those who would watch? Perhaps you're even more foolish than the fool.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at April 28, 2014 01:30 PM (1CroS)

87 Again I am reminded of the episode "Art" from Spaced.

Posted by: dudenolongerinsantacruz at April 28, 2014 01:31 PM (PGXA8)

88 OT: Missouri legislature will begin impeachment proceedings against governor http://wapo.st/1nzXu0G

Posted by: The Political Hat at April 28, 2014 01:31 PM (CTCNK)

89 The eggs smelled bad enough already.

Posted by: wth at April 28, 2014 01:31 PM (wAQA5)

90 Not really fetching when she is squatting over canvas queefing out paint filled eggs.

Posted by: steevy at April 28, 2014 01:31 PM (zqvg6)

91 Caravaggio? Did someone already do that one?

Posted by: Bob at April 28, 2014 01:32 PM (vgIRn)

92 Just when you thought it was safe to check in on the thread...

Posted by: Splat! at April 28, 2014 01:32 PM (aDwsi)

93 Highbrow, legal porn. That's what this is.

Posted by: Countrysquire at April 28, 2014 01:32 PM (8FyP4)

94 Posted by: shredded chi at April 28, 2014 06:28 PM (QcuMc) Boil your bunny hot.

Posted by: Chandler's Ghost at April 28, 2014 01:32 PM (2BL9N)

95 Idiocracy had Ass the Movie. This is just Queef the Movie. Seriously, we've beat Idiocracy.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 28, 2014 01:33 PM (ZPrif)

96 I love all you guys who are thrilled that she's hot.


Like a crazy artist woman snatch artist is going to let a man near her without screaming, "rape culturist!!!"

Posted by: DangerGirl, who is tired at April 28, 2014 01:33 PM (GrtrJ)

97 The nicely racked Rembrandt.

Posted by: Countrysquire at April 28, 2014 01:33 PM (8FyP4)

98 So, the difference between this and getting a freaky table dance with a whore is what? A sheet of folded paper and marketing?

Posted by: Inspector Cussword at April 28, 2014 01:33 PM (Qp0nB)

99 Did someone already do that one? *waves hand*

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 28, 2014 01:33 PM (8ifMA)

100 Missouri legislature will begin impeachment proceedings against governor --------- Good. It's a start.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 28, 2014 01:33 PM (aDwsi)

101 Let's be fair -- there was a guy who stuck a paintbrush up his ass and wiggled it around on canvas. I don't remember HIM getting the same criticism as the pootang painter.

Posted by: Commissar Pug at April 28, 2014 01:34 PM (8c12T)

102 Posted by: DangerGirl, who is tired at April 28, 2014 06:33 PM (GrtrJ) Love your response & AtCs response.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at April 28, 2014 01:34 PM (HVff2)

103 Nothing says feminism better than "stare at my pussy!"

Posted by: Soothsayer, corn bread assassin at April 28, 2014 01:34 PM (j4y5j)

104 Boil your bunny hot. Posted by: Chandler's Ghost ---------------- Possible thread winner.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 28, 2014 01:34 PM (aDwsi)

105 "When are we gonna have performance artists taking an enema and having loose shits on a stage"

Ahem.  I sang and played guitar too.

Posted by: GG Allin at April 28, 2014 01:34 PM (uhMMS)

106 My investment returns are meant to challenge my clients understanding of what a good portfolio manager is. I really like this. Brandon Belt's performance over the weekend was meant to challenge a baseball fan's understanding of what a good hitter is.

Posted by: scofflawx at April 28, 2014 01:35 PM (y9ZJX)

107 What everyone should be asking is how she get's the paint into the egg before she "loads" her brush. It looks like oil or acrylic -- not watercolor.

Posted by: Commissar Pug at April 28, 2014 01:35 PM (8c12T)

108 Not be rude, but I just created my own "challenging artwork" in the mixed media of gym sock and spunk.

Posted by: ace at April 28, 2014 01:35 PM (/FnUH)

109 When will the artistic leftist men be holding straight out their erect penises while they balance on it several colored balls which represent the fragility of Gaia and the oppressive nature of heterosexuality and Western patriarchy? If one thought about it one could come up with even more grotesque works of performance art, but I don't want to dwell on such garbage so I'll leave it there. ;^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 28, 2014 01:35 PM (XyM/Y)

110 Wouldn't it be easier for her to keep a chicken up in her hoohaa?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 28, 2014 01:36 PM (X2NEw)

111 How about some real art.  Not shock for shock sake art.

http://www.ufunk.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Oleg-Oprisco-photography-26.jpg

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 28, 2014 01:36 PM (yrfxM)

112 Are these people mentally deranged to do things like this & call it art?

Posted by: Carol at April 28, 2014 01:36 PM (gjOCp)

113 You know, the has become so common I wonder when it'll stop being covered. And then it'll stop. These people seek attention, if what they're doing stops generating that it loses it's value to them. (not knocking you ace you didn't go out to report this.

Posted by: tsrblke (tablet) at April 28, 2014 01:36 PM (a8eFL)

114 hahaha, you couldn't make this stuff up....

Posted by: azjaeger at April 28, 2014 01:36 PM (vdvS6)

115 84 -

Nice bod, but that video is super annoying. 

Are her tatas  enhanced?  I think  they are. 

Posted by: BurtTC at April 28, 2014 01:36 PM (BeSEI)

116 I have just one question: does she grunt while "plopping" her art?

Posted by: Soothsayer, corn bread assassin at April 28, 2014 01:37 PM (j4y5j)

117 101 Let's be fair -- there was a guy who stuck a paintbrush up his ass and wiggled it around on canvas. I don't remember HIM getting the same criticism as the pootang painter. Life isn't fair.

Posted by: Seems legit at April 28, 2014 01:37 PM (A98Xu)

118 96 Danger Girl, One of the few occasions it would be an advantage to be unilingual Cantonese.... Imgine her shock at the ambivalence WRT rape culture.

Posted by: sven10077 at April 28, 2014 01:37 PM (oQXje)

119 Commissar Pug: "I don't remember HIM getting the same criticism as the pootang painter." I missed that post. So, to catch up, he's just as talentless and imbecilic as the chick. I'm pretty sure I don't need to see his work, either.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at April 28, 2014 01:37 PM (1CroS)

120 There's a Feminist Art School in Tijuana where the preferred medium is ping pong balls.

Posted by: --- at April 28, 2014 01:37 PM (MMC8r)

121 108 Not be rude, but I just created my own "challenging artwork" in the mixed media of gym sock and spunk. Posted by: ace at April 28, 2014 06:35 PM (/FnUH) Is it in French? Just curious.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at April 28, 2014 01:37 PM (HVff2)

122 I love all you guys who are thrilled that she's hot. Like a crazy artist woman snatch artist is going to let a man near her without screaming, "rape culturist!!!" Posted by: DangerGirl, who is tired at April 28, 2014 06:33 PM (GrtrJ) And I pull up quick to get wit em. . . .

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh save us mighty SMOD at April 28, 2014 01:37 PM (dMSj2)

123 Ah, the old whorschach test. She passes.

Posted by: Feh at April 28, 2014 01:38 PM (CNQVX)

124 >>>Are her tatas enhanced? I think they are. yeah.

Posted by: ace at April 28, 2014 01:38 PM (/FnUH)

125 I'm not just pulling paintings out of my ass! wait yes I am

Posted by: Bigby's Knuckle Sandwich at April 28, 2014 01:38 PM (Cq0oW)

126 108 Ace, Ant'knee Wienah Diaries....

Posted by: sven10077 at April 28, 2014 01:38 PM (oQXje)

127 I wonder how much she makes from this?

Posted by: Commissar Pug at April 28, 2014 01:38 PM (8c12T)

128 Amateur.

Posted by: Sandra fluke at April 28, 2014 01:38 PM (zOTsN)

129 The most we get from the 'ettes are egg recipes. Obviously, something went wrong somewhere.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at April 28, 2014 01:38 PM (oFCZn)

130 What I found most noteworthy in the video(besides her ass) is the general lack of reaction by other people as she parades nude.

Posted by: davidt at April 28, 2014 01:38 PM (PAplM)

131 AlextheChick has a cunning plan.  That does not involve the Symbian. 

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 28, 2014 01:39 PM (yrfxM)

132 Squirrel! 1 minute and 59 seconds, lost forever.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 28, 2014 01:39 PM (aDwsi)

133 Some people

Posted by: Girl what put a gun in her hoo haw at April 28, 2014 01:39 PM (zOTsN)

134 This is stupid obviously, but the constant reductionism of sexuality to "the VAGINA" (on stuff with more value than this) is pretty dumb for such a "smart" blog.

Posted by: Dre at April 28, 2014 01:39 PM (R0g4C)

135 Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 28, 2014 06:36 PM (yrfxM)



Glad you're ok and posting.  How's the weather looking over that way?

Posted by: Country Singer at April 28, 2014 01:39 PM (KNXgp)

136 OK, I watched the video. Two things jumped out at me.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 28, 2014 01:39 PM (0HooB)

137 Mom and Dad are sure proud!

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at April 28, 2014 01:39 PM (UJj+N)

138 131 Anna Puma, The battle of Poon Valley at Twin Peaks

Posted by: sven10077 at April 28, 2014 01:39 PM (oQXje)

139 Bangkok has hundreds of modern day Rembrandts shooting art out of their cooters. We're living in the Renaissance.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at April 28, 2014 01:39 PM (+lsX1)

140 Not be rude, but I just created my own "challenging artwork" in the mixed media of gym sock and spunk. Posted by: ace at April 28, 2014 06:35 PM (/FnUH) A transgressive departure from your usual medium of Marco Rubio's trash and spunk… AND, you don't charge 5 Euro for it…

Posted by: The Political Hat at April 28, 2014 01:39 PM (CTCNK)

141 My soon to be released piece of are is titled: Immediate outcomes prepping for colonoscopy. Too long?

Posted by: Seems legit at April 28, 2014 01:40 PM (A98Xu)

142 You guys never say I'm hot!

Posted by: The Chicken at April 28, 2014 01:40 PM (zOTsN)

143 One night in Bangkok,
makes the hoohah art stranger
I can feel a lady-boy walking next to me

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 28, 2014 01:40 PM (yrfxM)

144 80 When are we gonna have performance artists taking an enema and having loose shits on a stage? GG Allin. Google it.

Posted by: VKI at April 28, 2014 01:40 PM (qySNZ)

145 Snootch-Painter is a rank amateur. I spent 28 days challenging the cis-gender art patriarchy.

Posted by: Snootch-Kniter at April 28, 2014 01:40 PM (X866z)

146 Funny that a femynyst so worried about the image of womyn has such big fake tits.

Posted by: --- at April 28, 2014 01:40 PM (MMC8r)

147 141 Sems Legit, A polyp too far as it were.

Posted by: sven10077 at April 28, 2014 01:40 PM (oQXje)

148 I missed the part about how the eggs were loaded in her bomb bays.  Anyway, I think the best part of the performance was her reluctance to soil her fuck-me pumps with vag paint.

Posted by: Fritz at April 28, 2014 01:40 PM (oJUxt)

149 I'm more impressed with the guy who made her rack.

Posted by: Michael at April 28, 2014 01:41 PM (smKbx)

150 What this is, basically, is a celebration of narcissism. The artist is so much more intelligence and advanced than you that you can't hope to understand their genius.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at April 28, 2014 01:41 PM (lr3d7)

151 Paint is heavier than water. So, it must take some va jay jay strength to hold a full egg inside you.

Posted by: Commissar Pug at April 28, 2014 01:41 PM (8c12T)

152 I'll be impressed when she releases the Kraken.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 28, 2014 01:41 PM (V4CBV)

153 >>>This is stupid obviously, but the constant reductionism of sexuality to "the VAGINA" (on stuff with more value than this) is pretty dumb for such a "smart" blog. oh right it's ME who reduced this art to "The VAGINA"

Posted by: ace at April 28, 2014 01:41 PM (/FnUH)

154 Are her tatas enhanced? I think they are.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 28, 2014 06:36 PM (BeSEI)

Yes, but they are nice....clearly a professional job.

Posted by: LiberationTheologists Local 124 at April 28, 2014 01:41 PM (QFxY5)

155 What does her grandma say about all this? What do they talk about at Mothers Day brunch?

Posted by: grammie winger at April 28, 2014 01:41 PM (oMKp3)

156 but the constant reductionism of sexuality to "the VAGINA" (on stuff with more value than this) is pretty dumb for such a "smart" blog. lulz! oh, and nerd!

Posted by: Soothsayer, corn bread assassin at April 28, 2014 01:41 PM (j4y5j)

157 151 Commisar Pug, Mobile self-contained Bobbit?

Posted by: sven10077 at April 28, 2014 01:42 PM (oQXje)

158 Bangkok has hundreds of modern day Rembrandts shooting art out of their cooters. That's why they call Bangkok the Florence of the East.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 28, 2014 01:42 PM (8ZskC)

159 Vagina jokes aren't funny. PERIOD.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 28, 2014 01:42 PM (V4CBV)

160 Big deal. Try picking the egg up without your hands!

Posted by: Philippine banana dancer at April 28, 2014 01:42 PM (zOTsN)

161 What everyone should be asking is how she get's the paint into the egg before she "loads" her brush. It looks like oil or acrylic -- not watercolor. Posted by: Commissar ---------------------------------- Ah. Technical questions. I want to know what variety/size egg she prefers. Because, engineer.

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 28, 2014 01:43 PM (aDwsi)

162 There's a good string of vagina inspired monsters in the forst Dark Souls game. The Gaping Dragon, Queelag, and of course, Ceaseless Discharge... And then those hairy walking clams.

Posted by: Bevel Lemelisk at April 28, 2014 01:43 PM (WPBmS)

163 i'm such a crude-minded philistine to have seen this and immediately thought of "the VAGINA" what a dirty, small, literal mind I have

Posted by: ace at April 28, 2014 01:43 PM (/FnUH)

164 yeah just what I want my daughters to grow up and do? sick fuckin people

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 28, 2014 01:43 PM (nzKvP)

165 Go placidly
Amid the noise and waste.
And remember what comfort there may be
In owning a piece thereof.

Avoid quiet and passive persons
Unless you are in need of sleep.

Ro-tate your tires.

Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself
And heed well their advice,
Even though they be turkeys.

Know what to kiss.....and when!

Consider that two wrongs never make a right
But that THREE.........do.

Wherever possible, put people on hold.

Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer main-te-nance.

You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.

Posted by: Sara Jane Moore at April 28, 2014 01:43 PM (e8kgV)

166 Yeah honey, get back to me when you can push out a ten pound baby without an epidural.

Posted by: grammie winger at April 28, 2014 01:43 PM (oMKp3)

167 Another performance piece I'm working on: anal fissuers on ice

Posted by: Seems legit at April 28, 2014 01:43 PM (A98Xu)

168 Posted by: ace at April 28, 2014 06:41 PM (/FnUH) Don't worry about it. Just forget about Dre.

Posted by: AMDG at April 28, 2014 01:43 PM (eFytx)

169 I like using the european spelling.

Posted by: Seems legit at April 28, 2014 01:43 PM (A98Xu)

170 Basically any bar in Subic Bay makes the Louvre look like goddamn outhouse.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at April 28, 2014 01:43 PM (+lsX1)

171 davidt: "...is the general lack of reaction by other people as she parades nude." Exactly. That no longer "shocks". She's an attention whore; nothing more. The public has become desensitized to past spectacles, the only avenue for Le Artiste being to up the ante. Deny them attention and they'll be banging a cup on the street corner.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at April 28, 2014 01:43 PM (1CroS)

172 Who wants to sit on the same seat she sat on on the metro? Probably little paint specks left behind because it is hard to get that paint out of her hoo hoo.

Posted by: Commissar Pug at April 28, 2014 01:44 PM (8c12T)

173 This is stupid obviously, but the constant reductionism of sexuality to "the VAGINA" (on stuff with more value than this) is pretty dumb for such a "smart" blog. We also celebrate the squeakhole.

Posted by: --- at April 28, 2014 01:44 PM (MMC8r)

174 I am reminded of "Enemart" from the Charlie Sheen/Angie Harmon rom-com "Good Intentions", but without the excellent cinematography...

Posted by: Drumwaster at April 28, 2014 01:44 PM (K6BSx)

175 Po city for the win!
You go home Joe!
No more paintings for you!
You finished!

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 28, 2014 01:44 PM (yrfxM)

176 163 i'm such a crude-minded philistine to have seen this and immediately thought of "the VAGINA" what a dirty, small, literal mind I have Posted by: ace at April 28, 2014 06:43 PM (/FnUH) ********** It's been a while for me. I could see a spoon and think that.

Posted by: . at April 28, 2014 01:44 PM (vgIRn)

177 "Not be rude, but I just created my own "challenging artwork" in the mixed media of gym sock and spunk." IOW, a "Cruise sock",a phrase known to every Sailor.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at April 28, 2014 01:44 PM (X2NEw)

178 Call me when she can pick off a 7-10 split using only her vag.

Posted by: --- at April 28, 2014 01:45 PM (MMC8r)

179 Of course her boobs are a "professional job". I really can't recommend the do it yourself kits

Posted by: Philippine banana dancer at April 28, 2014 01:45 PM (zOTsN)

180 In the old days you went to Tijuana to be challenged by art involving donkeys and women. Or so I've heard.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 28, 2014 01:45 PM (8ZskC)

181 She was able to combine using your sense of sight with your sense of smell in order to judge her art which does challenge the olde way of critiquing art.

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 28, 2014 01:45 PM (5UteM)

182 There was a performance artist who would dress as an Aztec princess, strap on a giant burrito and invite members of the audience to step up and have a bite. I thought that was funny.

Posted by: Commissar Pug at April 28, 2014 01:46 PM (8c12T)

183 Ah. Technical questions. I want to know what variety/size egg she prefers. Because, engineer. Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 28, 2014 06:43 PM (aDwsi) Ostrich. I mean *obviously*.

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh save us mighty SMOD at April 28, 2014 01:46 PM (dMSj2)

184 I have a sudden urge for a Cobb salad. There's something wrong with me.

Posted by: grammie winger at April 28, 2014 01:46 PM (oMKp3)

185
What do you call an act like that?

Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at April 28, 2014 01:46 PM (kdS6q)

186 That's one Easter Bunny I don't want anywhere near my grass.

Posted by: logprof at April 28, 2014 01:46 PM (GW/jL)

187 I give her about three years before she marries some investment banker and pops out a couple of kids.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at April 28, 2014 01:47 PM (lr3d7)

188 i'm such a crude-minded philistine to have seen this and immediately thought of "the VAGINA" Dude, you really need to evolve as a person.

Posted by: An Erudite Art Lover, Surreptitiously Videotaping the Performance for Later Study at April 28, 2014 01:48 PM (8ZskC)

189 I mean *obviously*. Posted by: alexthechick - Oh save us mighty SMOD at April 28, 2014 06:46 PM (dMSj2) Closer inspection is required

Posted by: EU Commission on Vagina Safety [/i][/b][/s][/u] at April 28, 2014 01:48 PM (yz6yg)

190 I do believe this is the reaction she was seeking: http://youtu.be/kvL3jL2ppa0

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh save us mighty SMOD at April 28, 2014 01:48 PM (dMSj2)

191 Didn't the nazis have some sort of degenerate art exhibit? They missed one...

Posted by: Commissar Pug at April 28, 2014 01:48 PM (8c12T)

192 Tacky.

Posted by: Georgia O'Queef at April 28, 2014 01:48 PM (MMC8r)

193 Alex, Kids or eggs?

Posted by: Carol at April 28, 2014 01:48 PM (gjOCp)

194 159 Vagina jokes aren't funny. PERIOD.

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 28, 2014 06:42 PM (V4CBV)

++++

I see what you did there.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at April 28, 2014 01:49 PM (IN7k+)

195 Goldman Sacs lulzlulzzzzz

Posted by: Feh at April 28, 2014 01:49 PM (g/zj9)

196 Hey, she was wearing shoes in that last video. Way to sacrifice your art for comfort, you sellout poseur.

Posted by: @johntant at April 28, 2014 01:49 PM (JLOsT)

197 187 Colorado Alex, Thy'll be Paiseley and Chartruese.... No such thing as a free lunch

Posted by: sven10077 at April 28, 2014 01:49 PM (oQXje)

198 Yes the Nazis had an exhibition on degenerate art.  Most was destroyed but some by an odd quirk ended up being buried in Berlin until just recently.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 28, 2014 01:49 PM (yrfxM)

199 Pretty sure this "art" exhibit started in a strip club

Posted by: Philippine banana dancer at April 28, 2014 01:49 PM (zOTsN)

200 >>>She's an attention whore; nothing more. stop calling my girl a whore

Posted by: ace at April 28, 2014 01:49 PM (/FnUH)

201 Pfffft. She has to constantly "reload" and slows down the whole process. And why the show of modesty when she does? Why bother having a curtain cover her as she "chambers a round"? She just fires away in the open! Why the pretense at modesty?

Posted by: EC at April 28, 2014 01:50 PM (doBIb)

202 Carol, Kids. Of course, it should be an easy birth, what with all the practice.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at April 28, 2014 01:50 PM (lr3d7)

203 Yeah honey, get back to me when you can push out a ten pound baby without an epidural. Thread Winner, middle division. You also owe me a monitor.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 28, 2014 01:50 PM (0HooB)

204 Vagina jokes aren't funny. PERIOD. But her performance schedule is a tolerable three weeks on, one week off.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 28, 2014 01:50 PM (8ZskC)

205 Well we are talking German.  So Rot unt Gelb for kid names.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at April 28, 2014 01:50 PM (yrfxM)

206 The BRILLIANCE of her work lies in its UTTER BANALITY!

Posted by: Frenchie L'Critique at April 28, 2014 01:50 PM (MMC8r)

207 Hey, she was wearing shoes in that last video. Way to sacrifice your art for comfort, you sellout poseur. Posted by: @johntant at April 28, 2014 06:49 PM (JLOsT) How much you wanna bet the shoes are $2000 Christian Laboutins?

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/b][/s][/u] at April 28, 2014 01:50 PM (yz6yg)

208

I like my eggs with a side order of thighs.

Posted by: wth at April 28, 2014 01:51 PM (wAQA5)

209 Oral sex?

Yeah, that's out...

Posted by: Mr Wolf at April 28, 2014 01:51 PM (pCKXz)

210 No more yanky my wanky.

Posted by: The Donger needs food! at April 28, 2014 01:51 PM (IUiES)

211 ''lots of red in that painting..."

What, no brown?

She's not really trying, is she?

Posted by: Mr Wolf at April 28, 2014 01:52 PM (pCKXz)

212 Hold it...., wasn't there a recent splash (pun? maybe.) about someone complaining that eating eggs constituted 'violence'? :: jogs off to Bing ::

Posted by: Mike Hammer at April 28, 2014 01:52 PM (aDwsi)

213 On the other hand, I did enjoy Sister Wendy Beckett explaining challenging art.

Posted by: Seems legit at April 28, 2014 01:52 PM (A98Xu)

214 A conversation I've had dozens of times. Verbatim. Me: This "art" looks like crap. Art person: You just don't understand it. Me: Well that's true, I know a 3-year old who turns out finger-paintings with the same color schemes, eye for patterns, and overall quality and difficulty. I don't understand her work either. Art person: Yes like we haven't heard THAT criticism before. Me: I could replace this painting tonight with my niece's finger painting and you'd never freaking know. That's not amazing artistic talent; that's one step from the Emperor's New Clothes dumbass. You like this because you're told you're supposed to, not for any intrinsic quality it has... because it doesn't have any. Art person: You just don't GET art like we do. Philistine (or Barbarian, this one word varies). I had this conversation over the "scream" artist who screamed and smeared paint randomly on a canvas recently. I can't recall all the absurd crappy whatever "smear paint randomly on a canvas" that I've seen. I like art... when it looks like something and apparently took some talent and effort. I'm not sure why this is considered comparable (much less better) than something that clearly required actual skill and effort.

Posted by: gekkobear at April 28, 2014 01:52 PM (aoA8q)

215 Levelers always level down to themselves.

Posted by: your neighbor's ass at April 28, 2014 01:52 PM (QupBk)

216 I got nothing.

Posted by: Peter Cottontail at April 28, 2014 01:52 PM (PAplM)

217 dammit

Posted by: toby928 at April 28, 2014 01:52 PM (QupBk)

218 201 Wasn't there a Seinfeld episode about how even really, really good looking people have ugly-naked moments? Maybe that's like sneezing or opening a stubborn jelly jar? Yuck.

Posted by: Jenny Hates Her Phone at April 28, 2014 01:52 PM (kxGe2)

219 >>What do they talk about at Mothers Day brunch? What they could do with the strawberry pie filling from the dessert table.

Posted by: Aviator at April 28, 2014 01:52 PM (3rrMW)

220 So if I cover my wingwong in paint and slap a canvas with it repeatedly, can I get some schmuck to buy it as art? Posted by: Cato at April 28, 2014 06:24 PM (4cRuH) Yes, and I must admit he is more talented but a lot harder on the eyes. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pricasso

Posted by: Bori at April 28, 2014 01:53 PM (kcMMa)

221

Ace...did you know that Mollie Hemingway, herself, left some comments on the thread below?

 

I guess it's her.

She says she's "a faithful ACE reader".

 

Uh oh, put your pants on guys.

 

[see #318 and #324]

Posted by: wheatie at April 28, 2014 01:53 PM (la7X9)

222 Women, humph. Screech like a disembodied soul if you dare objectify them for having a vagina, but every time you turn around one of them is blowing up balloons, knitting, painting, or whistling with one, or storing ammunition, alcohol, other miscellaneous contraband or even small helpless animals in one. FFS! But don't dare be a man and say you like pussy in mixed company! Countdown to some dude furiously masturbating in public and trying to call it "art" in 3, 2, 1 . . .

Posted by: Sharkman at April 28, 2014 01:53 PM (vl/xn)

223 And you people mocked me for claiming a woman could repel an unwanted pregnancy if she concentrated and strained really hard.

Posted by: Todd Akin at April 28, 2014 01:54 PM (uhMMS)

224 Grammie Winger, A man I work with had, rather his wife had a 12 pound 9 ounce baby last fall in a tub with no medication. Now she is a legend at that birthing clinic. If she is pregnant again, they won't take her, she'll have to go to the hospital. She was home that afternoon.

Posted by: Carol at April 28, 2014 01:54 PM (gjOCp)

225 Georgia O'Queef?

Posted by: DangerGirl, who is tired at April 28, 2014 01:54 PM (GrtrJ)

226 When I was in the Army stationed in Germany, I had occasion to see a performance at "The Micky Bar" in which several performance artists danced around like crabs and performed a number of remarkable actions with their cloches, including squatting down on a dildo shaped candle, lighting the end of the candle that was sticking out and then using the lit candle to light the candles of a candelabra. In between these acts of performance art, the band would play polkas and the locals would dance. I later learned that bar had been declared off limits by the base commander. No doubt, to suppress the challenge to bourgeois standards of art.

Posted by: obnoxious A-Hole at April 28, 2014 01:54 PM (PD6iL)

227 I'd fertilize her eggs. 

I'm artsy like that.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at April 28, 2014 01:54 PM (X9Mnx)

228

She stole this from a South Park episode.

Posted by: wth at April 28, 2014 01:54 PM (wAQA5)

229 Why not just have her period on the canvas?

Posted by: Teh Most Interesting Man at April 28, 2014 01:54 PM (dTh2r)

230 "Your"girl!? Fine. Fickle fucker What. You gonna call her "Snootch Girl"?

Posted by: Cake Girl at April 28, 2014 01:55 PM (zOTsN)

231 I find this idea of 'wang art' intriguing. Fap art, if you will. The essence of man. BRB, finding tempera paint.

Posted by: toby928 at April 28, 2014 01:55 PM (QupBk)

232 I want to hire her to paint the ceiling.

Posted by: nip at April 28, 2014 01:55 PM (jI23+)

233 31 Boxed wine? Elitist. Real Kaboom kids drink bagged wine through a coffee stirrer. Posted by: Conservative Crank at April 27, 2014 04:21 PM (sQ0LB) Too bad you weren't in the navy like my buddy when he gets shore leave in Thailand.

Posted by: EC at April 28, 2014 01:55 PM (doBIb)

234 Wait, didn't the South Park episode involve ping-pong balls and Winona Ryder?

Posted by: Teh Most Interesting Man at April 28, 2014 01:56 PM (dTh2r)

235 213 On the other hand, I did enjoy Sister Wendy Beckett explaining challenging art. Posted by: Seems legit at April 28, 2014 06:52 PM (A98Xu) Admit it...it turns you on.

Posted by: Commissar Pug at April 28, 2014 01:56 PM (8c12T)

236 Oh shit, wrong quote! I later learned that bar had been declared off limits by the base commander. No doubt, to suppress the challenge to bourgeois standards of art. Too bad you weren't in the navy like my buddy when he gets shore leave in Thailand.

Posted by: EC at April 28, 2014 01:56 PM (doBIb)

237 She should try that naked subway riding here in America, she might have a few more words written on her before her ride is over like "insert here" and "Obama!!!".

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 28, 2014 01:56 PM (5UteM)

238 Hey, she was wearing shoes in that last video. Way to sacrifice your art for comfort, you sellout poseur. Posted by: @johntant at April 28, 2014 06:49 PM (JLOsT) I think that she also left some snail tracks on that train seat...

Posted by: Timon at April 28, 2014 01:56 PM (kAniV)

239 I'd say she laid an egg.

Posted by: Caliban at April 28, 2014 01:57 PM (2ArJQ)

240 When I was a counselor at Summer Camp in Wayne County PA, there was this Wayne County Fair and they had coochie coochie girls and.....well you get the picture

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 28, 2014 01:58 PM (nzKvP)

241 nood

Posted by: Bruce Lee's Fist at April 28, 2014 01:58 PM (Dth0i)

242 Alex, Kids or eggs? Posted by: Carol at April 28, 2014 06:48 PM (gjOCp) Well, I meant the eggs.

Posted by: alexthechick - Oh save us mighty SMOD at April 28, 2014 01:58 PM (dMSj2)

243 I liked this act better when it was called "The Aristocrats."

Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 28, 2014 01:58 PM (V4CBV)

244 Nood, Cooch art enthusiasts

Posted by: Cake Girl at April 28, 2014 01:58 PM (zOTsN)

245 Too bad you weren't in the navy like my buddy when he gets shore leave in Thailand. Posted by: EC at April 28, 2014 06:56 PM (doBIb) We loose more sailors that way

Posted by: Nevergiveup at April 28, 2014 01:58 PM (nzKvP)

246 I'm the bombardier.

Posted by: Yossarian at April 28, 2014 01:59 PM (2ArJQ)

247 Did everyone see the ad at HA from man who was fired because he was running for Boehner's seat & made an add called "electile dysfunction?" It wasn't bad & was funny!

Posted by: Carol at April 28, 2014 01:59 PM (gjOCp)

248 Yeah, the egg thing is cute and all, but put her in the kitchen and let's see if she can push out some bacon.  Crispy.

Posted by: Fritz at April 28, 2014 02:00 PM (oJUxt)

249 Ok, so a naked guy should drink something to change the color of his semen and then ejaculate onto a canvas made by a woman, which the woman then burns. NEA, bitchez!

Posted by: Feh at April 28, 2014 02:01 PM (g/zj9)

250 Too bad you weren't in the navy like my buddy when he gets shore leave in Thailand.

Posted by: EC at April 28, 2014 06:56 PM (doBIb)



The Tiger Bar, Pattaya Beach, 1995.  Balls of yarn, a peeled banana going in and "slices" of it coming out, exact change made, shooting balloons on the ceiling with a blow gun...

Posted by: Country Singer at April 28, 2014 02:01 PM (KNXgp)

251 This seems like a public display of mental illness. But she seems harmless enough. Perhaps she's onto something therapy-wise... If only David Berkowitz had been running around Greenwich Village creating masterworks of art by shooting paint-loaded eggs from his squeaker- why he might be a Senator now or something. And his talking dog an art critic for the Times. If only...

Posted by: naturalfake at April 28, 2014 02:02 PM (KBvAm)

252 Tasty burger.

Posted by: redenzo at April 28, 2014 02:02 PM (WCnJW)

253 146 Funny that a femynyst so worried about the image of womyn has such big fake tits.

They're not *that* big, although that was the first thing I noticed, too.

Well, okay, the FIRST thing I noticed was her nice ass, THEN the fake (booooooooooo) tits.

Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge at April 28, 2014 02:03 PM (Ed+yP)

254 Cootchie painter needs a good disaster scenario to give her something constructive to do with her time.

Posted by: Miley's Tongue at April 28, 2014 02:03 PM (R+h7Q)

255 Eat, pray, queef... has now become: Pray, queef, EAT!

Posted by: wth at April 28, 2014 02:03 PM (wAQA5)

256 She was home that afternoon And that horse of a kid was probably sent to Nick Saban. Before BBoySquared was born, I'd go up to the Daughter of Satan's nursery at the hospital and rock the little newborns whose parents couldn't make it up there on a regular basis. Once there was a kid in there that tipped the scales at 13 lbs. He looked like he was a year old and couldn't open his eyes, he was so big. His cry was very distinctive, very deep for a newborn.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 28, 2014 02:04 PM (0HooB)

257 A true feminist wouldn't indulge the patriarchy by shaving her snizz.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at April 28, 2014 02:04 PM (uhMMS)

258 I'm thinking the fake tits are key.

Posted by: Feh at April 28, 2014 02:05 PM (g/zj9)

259 Hey! I just thought of a new way to make meringue.

Posted by: Burnt Toast at April 28, 2014 02:05 PM (NaeCR)

260 Today has taught me that the only people who can match the awfulness of the folks who are deranged in their hatred of Palin are the folks who keep telling me to get the sand out of my vagina or whatever. Awwww. And today I learned that Apartheid is everywhere, even in corn bread.

Posted by: Soothsayer, corn bread assassin at April 28, 2014 02:06 PM (j4y5j)

261 Seems like the definition of art is starting to encompass just about everything. Which, of course, nullifies the concept of "art."

Posted by: uuddlrlrbastart at April 28, 2014 02:07 PM (7gMa8)

262 Molly is right; some of you/us are awful and full of awfullness. /nods /chortles

Posted by: Soothsayer, corn bread assassin at April 28, 2014 02:07 PM (j4y5j)

263 When shooting paint-filled eggs out your vagina is banned only outlaws will shoot paint-filled eggs out of their vaginas.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at April 28, 2014 02:10 PM (uhMMS)

264 If her point was to show how Modern Art is just some splotches of paint on a canvas, she succeeded marvelously.

Posted by: Bori at April 28, 2014 02:11 PM (kcMMa)

265 Me: I could replace this painting tonight with my niece's finger painting and you'd never freaking know. That's not amazing artistic talent; that's one step from the Emperor's New Clothes dumbass. You like this because you're told you're supposed to, not for any intrinsic quality it has... because it doesn't have any. >>

My Mother was a Tour guide at The Walker Art center in Minneapolis in the 70s. There was a large canvas painted white with a small black square in one corner. I said the wall painters missed a spot. She was not amused. I'm pretty sure it was something from this guy Ellsworth Kelly. What a Fing scam he had going.

http://tinyurl.com/ln5e7za

Posted by: The Hickster at April 28, 2014 02:11 PM (5bbdJ)

266 I don't understand why she couldn't just load all of the eggs in her vag at one time? Just plop them out like the alien queen did with her ovipositor.

Posted by: EC at April 28, 2014 02:11 PM (doBIb)

267 Wait a damn minute. This bourgeois counterrevolutionary wants us to pay to see the uncensored video? Now I'm a little pissed.

Posted by: Chandler's Ghost at April 28, 2014 02:14 PM (2BL9N)

268 When she wants to truly break modern taboo she is welcome to come by and iron my shirt.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at April 28, 2014 02:15 PM (6ahup)

269 Meh. The vagina? I was taking it to the next level back in the mid-90's.....

Posted by: Mila the Ass Artist at April 28, 2014 02:18 PM (1o4B5)

270 After watching the video of her on the train... I support this woman in whatever way she chooses to express herself.

Posted by: Jarrod at April 28, 2014 02:23 PM (z1gMl)

271 Elbows are too pointy.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at April 28, 2014 02:27 PM (6ahup)

272 Elbows are too pointy.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at April 28, 2014 02:27 PM (6ahup)

273 Her boobies look stuffed.  Meh.

Posted by: Miley's Tongue at April 28, 2014 02:34 PM (R+h7Q)

274 You will, no doubt, be further shocked to discover that she is selling the uncensored version of that 'performance' at her website for the low, low price of 4.99 euro. Fortunately, for us, she's accepts Paypal!

Posted by: rc at April 28, 2014 02:37 PM (J4ZHs)

275 If I'd have thought to call spilled paint art I might have kept a few jobs in HS.

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at April 28, 2014 02:42 PM (DL2i+)

276 Crass exhibitionism is easier than getting a job.

Posted by: Beth at April 28, 2014 02:43 PM (Epq7Y)

277 Too bad you weren't in the navy like my buddy when he gets shore leave in Thailand.

Posted by: EC at April 28, 2014 06:56 PM (doBIb)


The Tiger Bar, Pattaya Beach, 1995. Balls of yarn, a peeled banana going in and "slices" of it coming out, exact change made, shooting balloons on the ceiling with a blow gun...

Posted by: Country Singer at April 28, 2014 07:01 PM (KNXgp)



Marilyn's Go Go.  Pattaya Beach, 1991.  Same same.

Posted by: Sharkman at April 28, 2014 02:52 PM (+NY/Y)

278 Vagina: Feminist empowerment organ bringing enlightenment to the culture and breaking down the cisnormative power structure Breasts: Appendages of evil, enslaving womyn (hear her roar!), and worshipped by masculine acolytes of the thuggish patriarchy of rape culture. Discuss.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 28, 2014 02:53 PM (TIIx5)

279 And you all laughed at Levitated Mass

Posted by: CAC at April 28, 2014 02:53 PM (K2NF9)

280 And you all laughed at Levitated Mass Posted by: CAC at April 28, 2014 07:53 PM (K2NF9) Well, the artist should have written a screed about how a floating rock is symbolic of the engorged phallus of patriarchal oppression. Walking through the tunnel under the art entails a rebirth of the culture, as with a child emerging from the birth canal. See, everything art comes around to vagina. Even floaty rocks.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at April 28, 2014 02:57 PM (TIIx5)

281 Tom Wolfe wrote a brilliant book, "The Painted Word," from which I got the idea that art was killed with Abstract Expressionism.  With abstract expressionism, a regular person could no longer look at a work and determine on his own whether it was "good" or not.  Now, it was critics and (especially) gallery owners who judged whether a work was "good" or not.

Posted by: Null at April 28, 2014 03:07 PM (xjpRj)

282 To my surprise, her bod is pretty fucking hot. (Face? Meh.)

But that ain't art by any stretch of the imagination.

Hell, when I was in 3rd grade, one of the guys in my class painted a flower on his weinie and showed it to the girls. So her whole schtick is pretty derivative to boot. Plus, somebody else had to paint the words on her back! And why the fuck was it all in English?

FAIL.


Posted by: Tex Lovera at April 28, 2014 03:14 PM (Thk1h)

283 The art is all in the way you stuff them in. Name that art--"Tainted Paint" or "Painted Taint". Remind me, who's the Patron Saint Of Painted Taint. That is all.

Posted by: Dirks strewn at April 28, 2014 03:19 PM (77F0w)

284 What I want to know is how far she can shoot a ping pong ball across a room. Bunch of artists I can get in touch with...

Posted by: Smithy smithee at April 28, 2014 03:33 PM (qad38)

285 Hard to make a chick with a hot body boring, but the "director" manages it.

Posted by: Funeralguy at April 28, 2014 03:34 PM (OvkWM)

286 So, I have a female cousin who teaches "performance art." She's also a Facebook friend of Barak Obama.

For reasons I do not understand, that part of the family has disowned me. I have not challenged them, and consider myself lucky....

Also... performance art? Really? Isn't that what highly educated art/theater students do for their ego fix?

Posted by: shibumi who is exceptionally cynical today at April 28, 2014 03:39 PM (25HWz)

287 Back in the early 60's college students and sailors would go down to Tijuana and hit places like the Blue Fox and the Convoy Club. For the price of a couple of beers you could watch "performance artists" do amazing things with their vaginas. For example they could pick up a quarter off the dance floor--or they could smoke a Marlboro almost all the way down--blowing smoke rings as well. So this babe isn't doing anything new.

Posted by: Comanche Voter at April 28, 2014 03:53 PM (wdHk6)

288 Now if she could shoot 'em like mortars from a bicycle-exercise position, she might have something worth watching...

Posted by: TimB52 at April 28, 2014 04:05 PM (ya630)

289 Annnd.... there is always the venerable "ass smoothie"... bing it.

Performance art at its finest.

Posted by: Burnt Toast at April 28, 2014 04:21 PM (NaeCR)

290 This kind of sh*t has been around for ages, CS Lewis wrote of it in The Pilgrim's Regress back in 1933. When John dared question the so-called artists in Eschropolis, they ran him out of town. He then discovered their dirty little secret: all of them were working as hirelings of Mammon, who in fact owned the town. Lewis referred to this in the book header notes as "the Lunatic Twenties". Nothing has changed.

Posted by: Wanderlust at April 28, 2014 05:20 PM (SHjpL)

291 Must be an artist, she is wearing a slip with pants.

Posted by: tonyc at April 28, 2014 05:32 PM (wnntm)

292 Yeah this is pretty awful. But there is worse out there in the Intertubes. So much worse. For the love of all that is good and holy, for the sake of your sanity, for the protection of your everlasting soul... ...please dear god do not, do NOT, ever... ...Google 'Zune Paint.' What is seen, cannot be unseen. On the plus side, if Yog-Soggoth ever does breach the dimensional walls of our world and come rampaging across the plant, you can show it 'Zune Paint', and it will fall all over its own tentacles fleeing back to the Ninth Circle of Hell. Yes it is that horrific. On a more serious note, I have noted that here and on other sites the question has been asked as to whether this is more "acceptable" if the artiste wasn't a attractive naked woman. 'Zune Paint' answers that question. Now if you will excuse me, my eyeballs have an appointment with a rusty grapefruit spoon.

Posted by: Cicero418 at April 28, 2014 06:22 PM (quecH)

293 Her vagina painted a uterus?

Posted by: I Want to Hi5 Your Face at April 28, 2014 07:47 PM (DTBbS)

294 If she wants to call this art, she needs to add some birds. Balanced on beams.

Posted by: Paul Klee at April 29, 2014 12:51 AM (eAJwE)

295 It's art, great art you rubes. Why, it's "Compelling". Remember that term, there will be a test later

Posted by: Dale the witless at April 29, 2014 04:48 AM (kzxV0)

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