December 31, 2010

Dude Tops Leoniadas With 21st Century Molon Labe
— Ace

Like the Terminator, he just won't stop.

Thanks to SJ.

Good One-Liners: I was trying to figure out how to say "Come and suck it" in Greek but gave up. But, I struck up this Wikipedia page of "Laconic phrases," short sardonic James Bond-like threats and the like.

This was my favorite:

In the Korean War, after U.N. forces under American command were attacked by Chinese forces in the Battle of Chosin Reservoir, U.S. commander Chesty Puller made the remark, "We've been looking for the enemy for some time now. We've finally found him. We're surrounded. That simplifies things."[34] He also reportedly said, "All right, they're on our left, they're on our right, they're in front of us, they're behind us...they can't get away this time".

Posted by: Ace at 07:03 AM | Comments (156)
Post contains 142 words, total size 1 kb.

1
Sunday Sunday SUNDAY!


See a Real Filibuster!

Posted by: Soothsayer3P0 at December 31, 2010 07:06 AM (i7Grp)

2 Cause he's the Fap man...woh-oa the Fap man....yeah...........

Posted by: Quilly Mammoth at December 31, 2010 07:06 AM (mzhjr)

3 How long is the "new comments thingy" going to be new? Just askin'.

Posted by: sock puppeh at December 31, 2010 07:06 AM (VcPAo)

4 He'll be back.

Posted by: eman at December 31, 2010 07:07 AM (+iY8m)

5 I have no words.  Only this: 

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 31, 2010 07:09 AM (UOM48)

6
a lotta pud-pullin goin on round here lately

Posted by: Soothsayer3P0 at December 31, 2010 07:09 AM (i7Grp)

7 Dear God, I heart Chesty Puller. 

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 31, 2010 07:10 AM (UOM48)

8

He kept going even after they maced him??

Way to be committed, Ted!

Posted by: laceyundalls at December 31, 2010 07:11 AM (7uSCK)

9

At some point, liberals will cry bloody murder because the cops did not in fact "suck it".

 

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at December 31, 2010 07:12 AM (0fzsA)

10 We all have our own ways of fighting Global Climate Disruption.

Posted by: eman at December 31, 2010 07:12 AM (+iY8m)

11 "All right, they're on our left, they're on our right, they're in front of us, they're behind us...they can't get away this time".

Sounds like something Maxwell Smart would say.

Posted by: sock puppeh at December 31, 2010 07:12 AM (VcPAo)

12 Naked, masturbating, and pepper-sprayed is no way to go through life, dude.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 31, 2010 07:12 AM (UOM48)

13 Like it owes him money.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at December 31, 2010 07:13 AM (fLHQe)

14 How do we know the cops weren't hot, busty chicks?

You have to appreciate the reporting:

"You come back here to suck it," Ruiz asked cops after they asked him to come to where they were standing -- again, Ruiz was masturbating the entire time.

It was a question?

Again, Ruiz is masturbating in jail right now.

Posted by: iknowtheleft at December 31, 2010 07:13 AM (G/MYk)

15 Nuts!

Posted by: General Anthony Clement McAuliffe at December 31, 2010 07:14 AM (GwPRU)

16 Pity Ruiz' cell mate.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 31, 2010 07:14 AM (UOM48)

17

If you like your weak tea...

http://tinyurl.com/2hcvm8


 

Posted by: B.H.O. at December 31, 2010 07:15 AM (pr+up)

18
that's courage

right, lefties?

Posted by: Soothsayer3P0 at December 31, 2010 07:15 AM (i7Grp)

19 "You come back here to suck it," Ruiz asked cops after they asked him to come to where they were standing -- again,

FIFY

Posted by: sock puppeh at December 31, 2010 07:15 AM (VcPAo)

20 I get the witty euphemism thing on blogs, but is that taught as standard practice in J-school now? 

Even if they were aiming for wit/humor .... beat off? I can't believe that made it past an editor.

Posted by: ef at December 31, 2010 07:15 AM (c7Pp2)

21 CDR M.  He'll be here all night.  Don't forget to tip your waiter, and try the veal.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 31, 2010 07:15 AM (UOM48)

22 Desperate meth-head.  No doubt he had been at it for hours. 

Posted by: kathysaysso at December 31, 2010 07:16 AM (ZtwUX)

23 Maybe he can make Althouse happy by 'nutting on all the "women" in that Emily's list video.

Posted by: Quilly Mammoth at December 31, 2010 07:16 AM (mzhjr)

24 Good One-Liners:

"Kill enough of them and they stop fighting."

-- Gen. Curtis LeMay


"I'm sorry. If you were right, I'd agree with you.

-- Oliver Sacks' role in Awakenings

Posted by: iknowtheleft at December 31, 2010 07:16 AM (G/MYk)

25 Personal favorite-also cited at the link.

In 1843, British forces led by General Charles Napier conquered the province of Sindh in India. On his conquest he was supposed to have sent a one word message in Latin to his commander, Peccavi, meaning "I have sinned" ("I have Sindh"), making it not only a laconic phrase, but also a bilingual pun.

Posted by: pep at December 31, 2010 07:18 AM (8lSIO)

26 My father was a Marine in the Battle of Chosin.   After watching documentaries and reading about it, I'm in awe of what our Marines were able to do.

Posted by: kathysaysso at December 31, 2010 07:18 AM (ZtwUX)

27 From the realm of cinema (Casablanca):

Peter Lorre:  You despise me, don't you Rick.

Humphrey Bogart (Rick):  Oh, I suppose if I ever thought about you, I would. 


Posted by: pep at December 31, 2010 07:20 AM (8lSIO)

28 Nuts!

Posted by: Crusty at December 31, 2010 07:20 AM (GvSpB)

29 Posted by: pep at December 31, 2010 12:18 PM (8lSIO)

That's my favorite of all time. Napier was a famous smart-ass. he would have fit right in here!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (NJConservative) at December 31, 2010 07:21 AM (LH6ir)

30 Another personal favorite, also on the link.

Shortly after taking command of the French 9th Army during the early stages of the First World War, then-Lieutenant General Ferdinand Foch summarised his situation with the words "My center is giving way, my right is in retreat. Situation excellent. I attack."

Posted by: pep at December 31, 2010 07:21 AM (8lSIO)

31 ayn rand's rourke did a variation on that. "You don't think much of me, do you?" "I don't think of you."

Posted by: ace at December 31, 2010 07:22 AM (nj1bB)

32
speaking of wikipedophile...

Jimmy Wales has his arms crossed. Jimmy Wales is not pleased with how the fund raiser is going.

Posted by: Soothsayer3P0 at December 31, 2010 07:22 AM (i7Grp)

33 And, of course:

"Retreat Hell! We're just attacking in another direction." - Major General Oliver P. Smith, USMC, Korea, December 1950

Posted by: kathysaysso at December 31, 2010 07:23 AM (ZtwUX)

34 "Come suck it!" If you suck it... He will come!

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 07:23 AM (tJjm/)

35 Go f*** yourself.

Posted by: Dick Cheney to Patrick Leahy at December 31, 2010 07:24 AM (8lSIO)

36 Zombie Chesty Puller for president.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 31, 2010 07:24 AM (UOM48)

37 Come suck it, but first you will blow me!

Posted by: kathysaysso channeling Mel Gibson at December 31, 2010 07:25 AM (ZtwUX)

38 Tis the season to be pud'n

Posted by: Cherry π at December 31, 2010 07:26 AM (+sBB4)

39 Pictures or it didn't happen...

Posted by: Mr Wolf at December 31, 2010 07:26 AM (hbv0S)

40 Ref the Laconicisms. Best one? If.

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at December 31, 2010 07:27 AM (sQWnH)

41 Hey, Napier was the guy that said:

"You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We also have a custom: when men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; [then] beside it, my carpenters will build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow ours."

Awesome. I hereby nominate General Charles Napier as the Official Ace of Spades Nineteenth Century British General.

Posted by: J. Random Dude at December 31, 2010 07:28 AM (72afg)

42

I think Cee Lo Green summed it up best this year.

 

Posted by: dananjcon at December 31, 2010 07:28 AM (pr+up)

43 Even as cops grabbed one of his arms to try and place him in handcuffs, Ruiz used his remaining free hand to continue pullin' his pud as he tried to break away from the officers.

The dude sure must have had a lot of Tabasco sauce on his Staff of Decadence. 

Speaking of James Bond, Google "I have an itch" and Casino Royale.  100% of the men, and a fair amount of the lad-ees will surely groan in sympathetic pain after seeing that scene. 

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at December 31, 2010 07:28 AM (9hSKh)

44 Pud Pounders Unite

Posted by: Cherry π at December 31, 2010 07:29 AM (+sBB4)

45 Oh, and Ace, I see what you did there with the whole Laconic thing.

Posted by: J. Random Dude at December 31, 2010 07:29 AM (72afg)

46 Happy New Year ace!

Posted by: Uncle Jed at December 31, 2010 07:29 AM (xRcKp)

47 Good One-Liners:

“Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”

Posted by: Unkempt WV woman at December 31, 2010 07:30 AM (9hSKh)

48 Chesty Puller sounds like my grandfather.

Posted by: garrett at December 31, 2010 07:30 AM (7qCPY)

49 These are excellent: King Demaratus, being annoyed by someone asking him who the most exemplary Spartan was, answered "He that is least like you."[6] One famous example comes from the time of the invasion of Philip II of Macedon. With key Greek city-states in submission, he turned his attention to Sparta and sent a message: "If I win this war, you will be slaves forever." In another version, Philip proclaims: "You are advised to submit without further delay, for if I bring my army into your land, I will destroy your farms, slay your people, and raze your city." According to both accounts, the Spartan ephors sent back a one word reply: "If."[17] Subsequently, both Philip and Alexander would avoid Sparta entirely. After an Athenian accused Spartans of being ignorant, the Spartan Plistoanax agreed: "What you say is true. We have learned none of your evil ways."[6] ---------- I think that last one will be my response to any liberal who calls me ignorant. It also reminds me of the Reagan line "Well, the trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant, but that they know so much that isn't so."

Posted by: Clyde Shelton at December 31, 2010 07:31 AM (NITzp)

50

Genghis Khan was always good for a line:

“It is not sufficient that I succeed - all others must fail.”

Along with the classic,

“The greatest happiness is to scatter your enemy, to drive him before you, to see his cities reduced to ashes, to see those who love him shrouded in tears, and to gather into your bosom his wives and daughters.”

Posted by: iknowtheleft at December 31, 2010 07:32 AM (G/MYk)

51 >>Even as cops grabbed one of his arms to try and place him in handcuffs, Ruiz used his remaining free hand to continue pullin' his pud as he tried to break away from the officers. That may be the single greatest piece of reportage I have ever read.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 31, 2010 07:32 AM (TMB3S)

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at December 31, 2010 07:34 AM (9hSKh)

53 He wouldn't stop coming...

Posted by: Arhnold at December 31, 2010 07:35 AM (9hSKh)

54 52 Good One-Liners:

“Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”

Posted by: Unkempt WV woman at December 31, 2010 12:30 PM (9hSKh)

>>OR<<

Don't just stare at it...Eat it!

 

 

Posted by: dananjcon at December 31, 2010 07:36 AM (pr+up)

55 Is Ruiz an undocumented wanker?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 31, 2010 07:36 AM (UOM48)

56 "Conan! What is best in life?"

 "To crush your enemies -- See them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women!"

Posted by: Cherry π at December 31, 2010 07:36 AM (+sBB4)

57 “The greatest happiness is to scatter your enemy, to drive him before you, to see his cities reduced to ashes, to see those who love him shrouded in tears, and to gather into your bosom his wives and daughters.” That's kind of wordy. "Happiness is a Warm Gun" is more concise.

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 31, 2010 07:36 AM (tJjm/)

58 Another Laconicism from Wiki. During the Battle of the Imjin River, the British commander, Lieutenant Colonel Carne, surrounded on all sides by a massive force of Chinese soldiers, and with his armoured support destroyed, was radioed by an American battalion further upriver asking him for a situation report. Carne's reply was "A bit sticky." Carne's cleverness led to disaster. The American commander who received his report didn't understand that "a bit sticky" meant HELP! THEY'RE KILLING US" and directed the fire support to the other points the Chinese were attacking. The Chinese overran Carne's position and achieved a breakthrough of the UN defensive line. Point is, there's being clever and there's being smart.

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at December 31, 2010 07:37 AM (sQWnH)

59 Wanking is a civil right and is guaranteed in the Constitution
- Ezra

Posted by: Cherry π at December 31, 2010 07:37 AM (+sBB4)

60 You can have my pud when you pry it from my cold dead hands.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 31, 2010 07:38 AM (TMB3S)

61 Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
A: So he can tell if he's coming or going.

Posted by: Cherry π at December 31, 2010 07:39 AM (+sBB4)

62 On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger near the escape key.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 31, 2010 07:39 AM (xQAv5)

63 "God made man, but Samuel Colt made them equal."

Posted by: iknowtheleft at December 31, 2010 07:40 AM (G/MYk)

64 I love Cherry π!

Posted by: sock puppeh at December 31, 2010 07:40 AM (VcPAo)

65

Can't remove those pesky panties? 

Just in time for New Year's...Give these a try. 

I made mine without chocolate chips.   Try them plain...(or put a small chunk of banana in each one) and top with a Maple Buttercream.

Posted by: garrett at December 31, 2010 07:40 AM (7qCPY)

66

Nugent...Ted Nugent.

 

Posted by: FLetch at December 31, 2010 07:40 AM (pr+up)

67 The American Republic will endure until the Congress discovers it can bribe the American people with their own money

Posted by: Tocqueville at December 31, 2010 07:43 AM (8lSIO)

68 classifications and distinctions based on race or color have no moral or legal validity in our society

Posted by: Thurgood Marshall at December 31, 2010 07:43 AM (8lSIO)

69 Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

Posted by: Aldous Huxley at December 31, 2010 07:44 AM (8lSIO)

70 "I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion."

-- Alexander The Great

Posted by: iknowtheleft at December 31, 2010 07:44 AM (G/MYk)

71 Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time.

Posted by: French Knight at December 31, 2010 07:45 AM (8lSIO)

72 A lot of wonderful people love their country and hate the military.
- Bill Clinton

Posted by: Cherry π at December 31, 2010 07:45 AM (+sBB4)

73 Which one of you bitches is my mother?

Posted by: Phoebe Cates at December 31, 2010 07:46 AM (tJjm/)

74 Remember that chick who held up $20 and told the congressscum to "come and take it"?  One of the better lines at a forum.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 31, 2010 07:46 AM (xQAv5)

75 The Gods are petty and pathetic, and your (Zeus') rule is weak.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at December 31, 2010 07:48 AM (9hSKh)

76 "Oh, shit." -- Amelia Earhart, July 2, 1937

Posted by: MrScribbler at December 31, 2010 07:49 AM (Ulu3i)

77 They should be thanking me.

Posted by: Barack H Obama at December 31, 2010 07:49 AM (7qCPY)

78

I made mine without chocolate chips.

What the hell is the point??

Posted by: laceyundalls at December 31, 2010 07:50 AM (7uSCK)

79 First prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired.

Posted by: Darth Rove at December 31, 2010 07:51 AM (GfYt/)

80 Kudos to the Phoenix journalist who wrote that article. It's high time a pud was called a pud! No milk and mush journalism - serve us red meat or suck it ... er, get out of the way!

Posted by: ya2daup at December 31, 2010 07:51 AM (Sda6I)

81 Funnay story.  How about the Latin: carpe metulam?

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 31, 2010 07:51 AM (ytoCE)

82 You kind of have to respect the Chinese this week:

"We are not changing because of interference by a few clowns."

-- Jiang Yu, Chinese Foreign Ministry spokeswoman, criticizes Nobel Peace Prize ceremony in honor of jailed dissident Liu Xiaobo.

I wonder if Tom Friedman will write about this one?  After all, they're his boys.

Posted by: iknowtheleft at December 31, 2010 07:51 AM (G/MYk)

83 I forget who said this: "A gentleman is someone who can play the bagpipes-- but doesn't."

Posted by: Secundus at December 31, 2010 07:52 AM (yG2DM)

84 86 Kudos to the Phoenix journalist who wrote that article. It's high time a pud was called a pud! No milk and mush journalism - serve us red meat or suck it ... er, get out of the way!

Hmm...Freud would have an interesting time with you, friend. 

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at December 31, 2010 07:52 AM (9hSKh)

85 worst case of blue-balls i've ever heard

Posted by: A.G. at December 31, 2010 07:53 AM (oAVyq)

86 We're Surrounded!  Quick, everybody beat off.

Posted by: Col. Gerge "Armstrong" Custer at December 31, 2010 07:53 AM (xQAv5)

87 Ελάτε να πιπιλίζουν αυτό

Come and suck it... in greek.

Posted by: Timbo at December 31, 2010 07:54 AM (ph9vn)

88 "Oh no that bitch di'int.  Oh no she did not!"

--Curtis' Mom

Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at December 31, 2010 07:54 AM (+lsX1)

89 91 worst case of blue-balls i've ever heard

Which could only be alleviated by beating beat-down by the boys in blue? 

That's a new fetish - only getting your rocks off as you're being detained by the police.  What's the name for that?

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at December 31, 2010 07:54 AM (9hSKh)

90

What the hell is the point??

Choc. Chip Pancakes are sweetness overload...

the banana ones are money. 

 I suspect the plain ones with Maple Buttercream would be good with Bacon sprinkled on them!

Posted by: garrett at December 31, 2010 07:56 AM (7qCPY)

91 The Phoenix police acted stupidly.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 31, 2010 07:56 AM (UOM48)

92 Suicide Release by Cop

Posted by: garrett at December 31, 2010 07:57 AM (7qCPY)

93 Confucius say:  Man who beat off in front of cops will not suck cede.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 31, 2010 07:58 AM (xQAv5)

94 (ABC News) — The U.S. Department of Justice is looking for fluent Ebonics speakers to fill nine drug enforcement jobs, giving merit to a dialect that experts say is often mimicked and little understood.

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at December 31, 2010 07:58 AM (tvs2p)

95 One famous example comes from the time of the invasion of Philip II of Macedon. With key Greek city-states in submission, he turned his attention to Sparta and sent a message: "If I win this war, you will be slaves forever." In another version, Philip proclaims: "You are advised to submit without further delay, for if I bring my army into your land, I will destroy your farms, slay your people, and raze your city."

According to both accounts, the Spartan ephors sent back a one word reply: "If"

Posted by: toby928 at December 31, 2010 07:58 AM (S5YRY)

96 Why was the ground white after Custer's Last Stand?

Because the Indians kept coming and coming and coming...

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at December 31, 2010 08:00 AM (SHKl9)

97 Nuts!

Posted by: General Anthony Clement McAuliffe at December 31, 2010 12:14 PM (GwPRU)

Nusse?? Was meint Nusse?

Posted by: General Hasso von Manteuffel at December 31, 2010 08:00 AM (q8CmE)

98 It's

Posted by: Monty Python's Flying Circus at December 31, 2010 08:01 AM (VcPAo)

99 Semi-related: a friend on having someone tell him he was facing "tough competition," replied, "being in a ten man circle jerk where one guy came in first and third. Now that's tough competition!"

Posted by: Jay Guevara at December 31, 2010 08:01 AM (RpyDf)

100
hey bamamba,

Posted by: mushmouth from fat albert at December 31, 2010 08:02 AM (i7Grp)

101 Nothing posted here so far beats the dimwittery of Janet "Nappy" Napolitano....

http://fxn.ws/i7Ck9i

Posted by: MrScribbler at December 31, 2010 08:02 AM (Ulu3i)

102 Let's not forget Dear Leader's use of the word "corpseman"... most brilliant CiC evah.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 31, 2010 08:03 AM (UOM48)

103 I told him I'd be right back!  I just went into the motel to take a shit and he finishes without me!  Real classy,  Theodore!

Posted by: Meghan McCain at December 31, 2010 08:04 AM (TXKVh)

104 If we are not victorious, let no one come back alive!

Make the OTHER poor dumb bastard die for HIS country!

Posted by: George S Patton at December 31, 2010 08:04 AM (Kd3TY)

105 @107  Oh, please.  Is she there to check out the Overseas Contingency Operation? 

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 31, 2010 08:05 AM (UOM48)

106 they had personally raped, cut off ears, cut off heads, tape wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turned up the power, cut off limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, razed villages in fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan
- JFK

Posted by: Cherry π at December 31, 2010 08:06 AM (+sBB4)

107 The gods too are fond of a joke.

Posted by: Aristotle at December 31, 2010 08:07 AM (xQAv5)

108 21st Century Version: "Don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes motherfucker!"

Posted by: Darth Rove at December 31, 2010 08:07 AM (GfYt/)

109 Oh, please.  Is she there to check out the Overseas Contingency Operation? 

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 31, 2010 01:05 PM (UOM4

Even funnier/sadder.  She's over there with border guards to help teach them how to seal their border.  It's amazing that these people do these things in public.

Well ... there's a 62% chance that she'll get lost and fall off a mountain.

Posted by: iknowtheleft at December 31, 2010 08:07 AM (G/MYk)

110 @107  Oh, please.  Is she there to check out the Overseas Contingency Operation? 
Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 31, 2010 01:05 PM

Nope! She's there to...hahahaha...help them...hahahahahaha...secure their borders!...hahahahahahahahahahahaha *wheezse* hahahahahahahahaha....

Posted by: MrScribbler at December 31, 2010 08:08 AM (Ulu3i)

111 We are on track to keep the majority in the house.

Posted by: Nancy Puglosi at December 31, 2010 08:08 AM (xQAv5)

112 I am not a witch

Posted by: Cherry π at December 31, 2010 08:09 AM (+sBB4)

113 - JFK

Posted by: Cherry π at December 31, 2010 01:06 PM

Ummmm...I thought that was Jenjis Khan.

Posted by: MrScribbler at December 31, 2010 08:09 AM (Ulu3i)

114 @119, um, I thought that was John Effin' Kerry?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 31, 2010 08:12 AM (UOM48)

115 The U.S. Department o' Justice iz looking fo' fluent Ebonics speakers ta fill nine drug enforcement jobs, giving merit ta uh dialect dat experts say iz often mimicked an' little understood. w0rd!

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at December 31, 2010 08:13 AM (tvs2p)

116 John F Kerry (JFK) - hehe

Posted by: Cherry π at December 31, 2010 08:13 AM (+sBB4)

117

Is Ruiz an undocumented wanker?

I ain't documenting that.

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 31, 2010 08:13 AM (XdlcF)

118 "You got my hair in the shot, right?"

--John Edwards

Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at December 31, 2010 08:14 AM (+lsX1)

119

"Vinni, Viddi, Vicci!"

Or, in this case, "Viddi, Vicci, Vinni!!!"

Posted by: Julius Ceasar at December 31, 2010 08:15 AM (UpqKo)

120 During a 2000 Labor Day rally at suburban Naperville, IL, the then-Republican presidential nominee (and Texas governor) forgot the axiom about treating every mic as a live mic.  Upon spotting a veteran political reporter in the crowd and pointing him out to his running mate, Dick Cheney, Bush said, "There's Adam Clymer, major-league asshole from the New York Times."  Cheney agreed, saying, "Oh, yeah, he is, big time."

Sigh.  I miss W and Darth Cheney.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 31, 2010 08:16 AM (UOM48)

121  
124 "You got my hair in the shot, right?"

--John Edwards
Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head


"I think my prego-belly was blocking the view of the curly patch."
-Rielle Hunter

Posted by: Dang at December 31, 2010 08:18 AM (TXKVh)

122 "Shhh, shhhhhh, stop, shutup for a minute.  It was just sex baby, you know I only love you."

--Tiger Woods

Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at December 31, 2010 08:20 AM (+lsX1)

123 Accept the pudding!

Oh you will accept the pudding, Norah!

Posted by: Moron's Book of Timeless Quotations at December 31, 2010 08:20 AM (ZlIeC)

124 America is wasting valuable time farting around with this Obama asshole.

Posted by: Darth Rove at December 31, 2010 08:24 AM (GfYt/)

125 (ABC News) — The U.S. Department of Justice is looking for fluent Ebonics speakers to fill nine drug enforcement jobs, giving merit to a dialect that experts say is often mimicked and little understood.

Stewardess, I speak jive.

Posted by: zombie Barbara Billingsley at December 31, 2010 08:27 AM (QgmBR)

126 Be the pudding,  baby.  Be the pudding.

Posted by: That guy wacking it behind the Super 8 Motel at December 31, 2010 08:28 AM (TXKVh)

127  (ABC News) — The U.S. Department of Justice is looking for fluent Ebonics speakers to fill nine drug enforcement jobs, giving merit to a dialect that experts say is often mimicked and little understood.

"Cutter say he can't hang."

Posted by: That guy wacking it behind the Super 8 Motel at December 31, 2010 08:29 AM (TXKVh)

128 Leo Szilard had something to say about global warming-mongers today:

"A scientist's aim in a discussion with his colleagues is not to persuade, but to clarify."

Posted by: iknowtheleft at December 31, 2010 08:30 AM (G/MYk)

129

I always liked the line from the Pauly Shore movie "In the Army Now"

 

"Suck on this a one a time" as he fired a shoulder fired rocket.

The only decent thing to come out of pauly shore's mouth

Posted by: Ben at December 31, 2010 08:31 AM (wuv1c)

130

Guy asked my brother how to pick up women.

"Be yourself...no..that won't work. Be me."

Posted by: redclay at December 31, 2010 08:32 AM (MJx6n)

131

George Will --It put me in mind of a great story Milton Friedman used to tell. He went to Asia in the 1960s and was proudly taken by the government to see a public works project. They were building a canal. He was struck everyone was digging the canal with shovels. Friedman says, why no heavy earth-moving equipment?

They said, oh, this is a jobs program. So Friedman says "Why don't you give them spoons instead of shovels?"

Posted by: GnuBreed at December 31, 2010 08:42 AM (bvXGR)

132

The JailBase site has Theodore listed as Hispanic. Not a guarantee but that usually means an illegal:

http://tinyurl.com/24krywp

Posted by: 141Driver at December 31, 2010 08:51 AM (DXa7u)

133 Official report to the Roman Senate on the defeat, by Hannibal, at Lake Trasimene: Magna pugna, victi sunt (i. e., great battle, we lost), as noted by Appian, IIRC.    Latin seems to be designed for this sort of pithy comment.

Posted by: Gasoline Gus at December 31, 2010 08:56 AM (et0+g)

134 Chesty Puller is a Marine Corps Legend, as many of you know.  Revered and quoted often.

"Great. Now we can shoot at those bastards from every direction."

Posted by: SurferDoc at December 31, 2010 08:57 AM (o3bYL)

135 #138

So when he's dropped at the border, you think they'll ask him to "come again"?

Posted by: suboptimal at December 31, 2010 09:08 AM (5hgSJ)

136

I read "The Coldest Winter" about six months ago.

 

If you can overlook Halberstam's (RIP) stupid leftism and Bush comparisons, and yeah, he's a bit overboard with MacArthur (not much though), the accounts of the battles are really worth reading.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at December 31, 2010 09:16 AM (Wh0W+)

137

During Marine Corps boot camp at Parris Island in 1968, recruits ended the evening in bed by by announcing together "Good night Chesty Puller, wherever you are!"  An ideal Marine if there ever was one.

Posted by: Kathy at December 31, 2010 09:21 AM (VafME)

138 My favorite? Da mihi potem. I think that is Latin for: Give me a drink.

Posted by: bowel movement at December 31, 2010 09:33 AM (Mul5k)

139 "He's COMING right at us!" - Senior Cop in Charge at the Super 8 Motel.

Posted by: Lottaguns at December 31, 2010 09:49 AM (6Agvu)

140

We must all hang to gether, or surely we will hang separately.

 

Posted by: Ben Franklin at December 31, 2010 09:50 AM (W3XUk)

141 I know a particularly foul-smelling woman in a West Virgina trailer park he should meet. Or she will cut his fucking throat.

Posted by: CAC at December 31, 2010 09:50 AM (Gr1V1)

142 Gonna betray my geekitude: bIjatlh e' yImev! yItlhutlh!
-shut up and drink- always better in the original Klingon,
pronounced correctly, it sounds like you would register at least .16

Posted by: billhedrick at December 31, 2010 09:52 AM (wW/n0)

143 From my cold dead hands.

Posted by: zombie Charlton Heston at December 31, 2010 10:03 AM (S5YRY)

144 The Action Off Samar was a laconic occasion. Look it up for details; suffice it to say, the single ballsiest day in the annals of the American Navy, and that ("Blow your matches, boys!") is saying something.

Due to a monstrous cock-up, a tiny little task force of nothing but destroyers, 'corvettes' and jeep-carriers was all that lay between the vulnerable Army transports and the Japanese main battle fleet. So as he committed his little flotilla to certain death, the Taffy 3 commander sent for his bugler and ordered, "Sound the charge."

Hours later, all shot to hell, the survivors saw the Japanese main fleet turn tail (due to a monstrous cock-up) and run. A forward gunnery chief, watching the largest battleship ever built pulling ahead, told his gun crew "Damn it boys. They're getting away."

Posted by: comatus at December 31, 2010 10:12 AM (hrwMe)

145 Geez - let him finish.

Posted by: Dr. Eviler at December 31, 2010 10:12 AM (8idwr)

146 I regret that I have but one life to give for my country.

Posted by: some old dead white guy at December 31, 2010 10:15 AM (W3XUk)

147 "You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We also have a custom: when men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; [then] beside it, my carpenters will build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow ours."

Awesome. I hereby nominate General Charles Napier as the Official Ace of Spades Nineteenth Century British General Multi-Cultural Consultant and Diversity Expert At Large.

Fixed.


Posted by: OregonMuse at December 31, 2010 10:24 AM (ixLpQ)

148 El Soplador is anxiously awaiting your arrival in his jail cell, Señor Ruiz.

Posted by: hola at December 31, 2010 10:59 AM (y8/VI)

149

155 comments in, and nobody's asked the most important question yet:

 

Did he finish?

Posted by: Russ from Winterset at December 31, 2010 11:47 AM (/MEFr)

150 My favorite, via Mel Gibson: But first, you will blow me!

Posted by: Dr. Eviler at December 31, 2010 12:14 PM (oGRlS)

151

156 Did he finish?

Unimportant, man! It's the journey, not the trip, that's important!

[/hippy vibe]

Posted by: Kelly at December 31, 2010 12:19 PM (FLFli)

152 For the record:

Ελάτε και τον απορροφήστε

Posted by: JASmius at December 31, 2010 12:48 PM (v+R5I)

153 And in tlingon Hol:

 ghoS 'ej suK 'oH

Posted by: JASmius at December 31, 2010 12:50 PM (v+R5I)

154 "Mr Churchill, you are drunk." "Yes madam but you are ugly. Tomorrow I shall be sober"

Posted by: lokki at December 31, 2010 03:18 PM (a5F9g)

155 New bride: " And who do you think you're going to please with that little thing" New husband; "me."

Posted by: CMU VET at December 31, 2010 06:15 PM (6rIpR)

156 Even funnier/sadder.  She's over consumer electronics there with border guards to help teach them how to seal their border.  It's amazing that wholesale clothing these people do these things in public.

Posted by: wholesale at January 02, 2011 04:15 PM (9xr58)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Comments are disabled. Post is locked.
132kb generated in CPU 0.13, elapsed 1.1795 seconds.
62 queries taking 1.0717 seconds, 392 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.