January 30, 2007
— Ace Seriously, don't.
I'm warning you.
Don't even go down under the jump.
You're... taking me apart.
Dr. Chandra taught me a song, would you like to hear it?
Yes, that's Margaret Fucking Cho, singing about her nasty she-junk.
No thanks at all to Justin.
Posted by: galt at January 30, 2007 07:03 PM (JQZK/)
Posted by: Sticky B at January 30, 2007 07:05 PM (wkjFE)
Posted by: joan at January 30, 2007 07:05 PM (eN8y0)
Posted by: cranky-d at January 30, 2007 07:12 PM (1O9mK)
Posted by: caveman at January 30, 2007 07:16 PM (D4qTZ)
Ace, Hitting the Value Rite Vodka a little early? as they say in canada, eh. Cause these ugly scag ho's are obviously from somewhere in Canada.
Got to go a puke. I hope I can get that ching bitch with the bad hair out of my mind if I puke a couple of times.
Did the spam bots take over and post this shit while you were drinking?
Posted by: kempermanx at January 30, 2007 07:20 PM (Wc54u)
Time to die.
Posted by: Monty at January 30, 2007 07:24 PM (7Iqke)
There is a level of Hell waiting for you, buddy.
And they don't allow Value-Rite
Posted by: TC@LeatherPenguin at January 30, 2007 07:24 PM (roWez)
For sure that dog is dead. Those were Cho bubbles.
Posted by: eman at January 30, 2007 07:25 PM (FWrFx)
Posted by: magnetism87 at January 30, 2007 07:28 PM (nguKa)
I finally had to reboot the damned thing.
May you rot in hell, Sir.
Posted by: Monty at January 30, 2007 07:29 PM (7Iqke)
Posted by: craig at January 30, 2007 07:30 PM (1grIT)
Posted by: anyportinastorm at January 30, 2007 07:30 PM (4B8vy)
Up until now, I thought this was the saddest thing I've seen all day.
Posted by: Bart at January 30, 2007 07:31 PM (ujOqi)
Posted by: Allen at January 30, 2007 07:32 PM (RBmhU)
You're old enough to remember blade runner? Classic movie. I think Rutger Hauer/Roy couldnt have handled that Cho video.
Posted by: Galt at January 30, 2007 07:36 PM (JQZK/)
Blade Runner is probably one of my five favorite movies of all time. I'm also one of the few that actually read the book it was based on, Philiip K. Dick's Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep? It's a pity Ridley Scott lost his sci-fi mojo after Alien and Blade Runner; he did the crummy Legend and then just gave up on the genre (although I always thought the Tim Curry demon in that film was superb).
Posted by: Monty at January 30, 2007 07:39 PM (7Iqke)
Posted by: ace at January 30, 2007 07:41 PM (4qddO)
Posted by: Allen at January 30, 2007 07:42 PM (RBmhU)
She's aged as well as a gallon of milk left in the trunk of a car.
Posted by: adolfo_velasquez at January 30, 2007 07:42 PM (qZ40r)
Posted by: JayC at January 30, 2007 07:43 PM (hISkR)
Austin to Boston
A three day county fair
and an all-night buzzard fuck
And I ain't NEVER seen no shit like that!
Posted by: wiserbud at January 30, 2007 07:43 PM (56ssE)
I read that book as a teenager. Then, years later, I saw Blade Runner. The funny thing is, I didn't connect them until much later.
Posted by: JayC at January 30, 2007 07:45 PM (hISkR)
Posted by: Robert at January 30, 2007 07:55 PM (rpSu5)
I just have a rule about lipsync videos. I won't encourage the practice.
Admittedly this is a little better done than most, but I don't want teenagers further indulging themselves with this narcissistic nonsense.
Posted by: ace at January 30, 2007 08:07 PM (4qddO)
The movie Blade Runner was one of those rare adaptations that are actually better than the source material. Philip K. Dick is rather over-valued as a novelist, in my view -- like Sam Delany with Dhalgren, he relished the "counterculture" label so much that much of his work was just aimlessly weird. Radio Free Albemuth was typical of this: an interesting idea, fairly poorly executed. He's provided the movies with lots of good ideas over the years, but I think Blade Runner is still the only truly good movie to be based on a work of his -- and that had more to do with Ridley Scott's skill than the book itself. (And Sean Young -- Holy God was she hot in that movie!)
Posted by: Monty at January 30, 2007 08:11 PM (7Iqke)
"Politicial Unrest Stabilize Society. Yes!"
N.W.H. played it for laughs. I guess Cho did too, but it was hard to tell.
Posted by: caspera at January 30, 2007 08:14 PM (iluXx)
Posted by: cranky-d at January 30, 2007 08:15 PM (1O9mK)
More like her pus.
Posted by: Uncle Jefe at January 30, 2007 08:15 PM (iBgga)
Bastard is good.
Especially about Shawn? or Sean? Young in Blade Runner...
They had that 40's hairdo going...
Fucking elegant, she was.
Posted by: Uncle Jefe at January 30, 2007 08:17 PM (iBgga)
Posted by: caspera at January 30, 2007 08:18 PM (iluXx)
Posted by: Roy at January 30, 2007 08:20 PM (TfeE1)
The production design of that movie served as a template for much of the sci-fi to follow for the next twenty years.
As far as the story-- the book is obviously more "science fictiony" and has more "ideas" and whatever in it; the movie is more or less just a cops and robbers tale. Which isn't bad; I prefer my sci-fi to just be Westerns or space-operas with sci-fi trappings, not so heavy on the future shock ideas.
I did think, though, that Dick's San Francisco was more interesting than Scott's LA in postulating a radical DEpopulation, rather than overpopulation.
Depopulated cities, with whole skyscr@pers empty but for a few sqaulid sqautters and chickenhead mutant retards, are scary.
Posted by: ace at January 30, 2007 08:21 PM (4qddO)
The one aspect of the book that I wish had made it into Blade Runner was this: in the book, owning an animal is considered a mark of prestige and status. Deckard had a sheep, but it died of tetanus, so he got a fake one to keep up appearances. (Thus the book's title.) It said something interesting and fairly deep about Deckard that he would do this, and this dimension is lacking in the film. (Although the sequence in the Director's Cut with the "Unicorn Dream" serves a bit of the same purpose.) Everyone gets so focused on the "Was Deckard an android?" that they miss the point: It shouldn't matter because the question itself is somewhat meaningless. Deckard is Deckard, human or andy.
And yes, I'm discussing this so I can wipe the Cho-horror from my brain by indulging in sci-fi geekery.
Posted by: Monty at January 30, 2007 08:27 PM (7Iqke)
Posted by: Iblis at January 30, 2007 08:28 PM (8vPzM)
It's kinda like what happens when you watch Margaret Cho and eat.
Posted by: Roy at January 30, 2007 08:29 PM (TfeE1)
off topic but she's on the tonight show right now
Posted by: carl carlson at January 30, 2007 08:30 PM (YaGFS)
The snake, of course, too.
Posted by: ace at January 30, 2007 08:30 PM (4qddO)
Lots of cool trivia, like that Dustin Hoffman was for years slated to play Dekkard (yeah-- dustin hoffman), and that the final scene of Dekkard and the chick driving into the woods was actually footage given to Scott by Kubrick, who had filmed it, but not used it, for The Shining. they had to stick on a happy ending but had no money, so filmed some quickie scenes of Dekkard driving and used Kubrick's helicopter footage of Colorado forests for the shots.
Posted by: ace at January 30, 2007 08:32 PM (4qddO)
There was the scene with the owl when he first meets Rachel at the Tyrell Corporation, but not much is made of it. And the only link with the snake is so he can find Zhora ("Go find Hassan -- He make de snake!"). The whole point of animals as simulacra of living beings is really left alone; probably necessarily, since the replicants themselves are obvious examples of that.
Also interesting that in the book, Pris and Rachel are the same "model", whereas in the film they aren't.
Posted by: Monty at January 30, 2007 08:33 PM (7Iqke)
Another interesting thing: The whole "Dekkard is an android" thing was started by his chief telling him that SIX replicants escaped, one was killed getting away, leaving five. But only four appear in the movie, suggesting Dekkard is the fifth replicant.
In fact, there were originally five to be hunted (six total -- one killed during the getaway, five more), and the last was to be a motherly android named "Mary." But production costs zoomed out of control, and they began literally just cutting pages out of the script to save money, and Mary got cut entirely. But the scene where the chief says "SIX" androids escaped was already filmed, and they couldn't redub it without making it obvious.
Thus the whole "Dekkard is a replicant" thing began by accident.
Later, in Ridley's scott's rather lame director's cut, he puts in stuff that makes it all but certain Dekkard is a replicant, but this was just a confirmation of a rumor that all began due to a glitch and budget cuts.
Posted by: ace at January 30, 2007 08:39 PM (4qddO)
But that happened, fans started speculating, Ridley Scott became enamored of the idea, and then he turned fan speculation into the cannon truth twenty years later.
Posted by: ace at January 30, 2007 08:42 PM (4qddO)
Yeah, I remember all the crap around the various "cuts" of the film. It's a shame, really. I myself prefer the "Director's Cut" version to the theatrical cut: I hated Ford's voice-over work, and the "happy ending" always struck me as unbelievably hokey and abrupt. Plus the "Unicorn Dream" sequence explained Gaff's little origami unicorn a bit better at the end as well.
I keep hearing rumors of a "Super Special Extra Neat-O" DVD re-release of Blade Runner: re-mastered, 5.1 dolby, 16x9 anamorphic, and lots of good stuff on the companion disc. Any word on when/if it's coming out?
Posted by: Monty at January 30, 2007 08:42 PM (7Iqke)
The first cut got it right. Or at least as right as it was ever gonna get.
Posted by: ace at January 30, 2007 08:45 PM (4qddO)
Posted by: cranky-d at January 30, 2007 08:46 PM (1O9mK)
Posted by: Monty at January 30, 2007 08:48 PM (7Iqke)
Scott later used the "Unicorn Dream" to further prove Dekkard was a replicant. Unnecessary.
What annoyed me is, from reading Future Shock, there were all these interesting changes/fixes that could have been done, but the ONLY THING Scott gave shit about was that dumb Unicorn Dream sequence, and I think that was all that was filmed and added to the thing.
That, and some "android eyes" for Dekkard. (All of the artificials showed eyes glowing like a cat's at one point; Scott made Dekkard's glow in the new version.)
Just seems to me they could have done more.
Also, supposedly, there were better versions of the narration they could have dubbed in, but didn't.
And the movie was ALWAYS supposed to have narration; it was in every script. They just never could get it to sound right, and after thirty tries at it, Harrison Ford began phoning the new shit in. That's why he sounds so bored in a lot of the original's narration.
Posted by: ace at January 30, 2007 08:49 PM (4qddO)
Posted by: rd at January 30, 2007 08:51 PM (1YHsK)
But no. Just the stupid Unicorn Dream.
there's nothing new in the director's cut except that -- the director's cut has less than the theatrical. the ending is gone, the narration is gone. In exchange, five seconds of a prancing unicorn.
Posted by: ace at January 30, 2007 08:56 PM (4qddO)
Posted by: Don Carne at January 30, 2007 08:57 PM (RJDcF)
Arghh my eyes! The goggles, they do nothing!
Posted by: Don Carne at January 30, 2007 09:01 PM (RJDcF)
Posted by: John at January 30, 2007 09:08 PM (oF28e)
for instance, i totally thought "empire of the sun" was great. but no one i talked to can seem to remember it.
everyone remembers "bloodsport" but not "lionheart" which was just as good, just not based on some real life badass.
Posted by: carl carlson at January 30, 2007 09:09 PM (YaGFS)
Oh crap - she just left the room! What do I do?
Posted by: Editor at January 30, 2007 09:15 PM (RFgl8)
When I saw the 'Apocalypse Now' director's cut, I was pretty damned happy for the edited version that we know and love.
Posted by: Uncle Jefe at January 30, 2007 09:35 PM (iBgga)
Posted by: Donald Trump at January 30, 2007 09:41 PM (+PS1/)
Everyone seems to have a bad impression of the video.
"You're pussy hangs around your knees"?
Now that's a labia I could truly market, baby
If I only knew how. I'll have to think about it.
Posted by: genghis at January 30, 2007 09:46 PM (0/c+a)
Posted by: Christopher Walken at January 30, 2007 09:49 PM (eby9C)
Posted by: Cybrludite at January 30, 2007 10:19 PM (XFoEH)
Absolutely true. The "director's cut" was a huge disappointment. And the "Unicorn" thing made no sense if you never bought the lame "Deckard is a replicant" angle.
But that movie, more than any other, makes you want to sit back and sip on scotch or whiskey, doesn't it?
And Monty's wrong about few things, but among them Dick's oeuvre. (he was right about Dhalgren, though).
Posted by: geoff at January 30, 2007 10:42 PM (RLGHA)
Posted by: geoff at January 30, 2007 10:43 PM (RLGHA)
There are aspects of the movie that are terrific, like the production design, and there are moments in the movie that are memorable, and there are lines of dialog that are worth repeating, but when you put it all together ....
... somehow it really doesn't work. I think the fact that there are several versions of the movie reflects this - they keep trying to re-arrange the pieces to make it good.
Unlike the Cho video, in which everything is bad, except for the parts that are worse. The "director's cut" of that would be 3 minutes and 23 seconds shorter.
Posted by: JayC at January 30, 2007 11:12 PM (hISkR)
Posted by: Stalone at January 30, 2007 11:17 PM (NYv+B)
Posted by: Village Idiot at January 30, 2007 11:46 PM (zoBWw)
Posted by: Village Idiot at January 31, 2007 12:47 AM (zoBWw)
Posted by: The Truth at January 31, 2007 03:16 AM (cOyko)
Posted by: Meatball at January 31, 2007 04:55 AM (b/Zcq)
Posted by: J at January 31, 2007 05:06 AM (xkl0e)
(1) skip the intro/outro
(2) replace the dykes with the pussycat dolls
(3) replace cho with fergie, gwen, or nelly furtado
Now tell me that the song wouldn't be at the top of the charts through *at least* the end of the year.
Posted by: at January 31, 2007 08:43 AM (gv0Cs)
If the dog is licking her soapy hand... he'll probably lick up just about anything.
Posted by: Peanut Butter at January 31, 2007 08:51 AM (gv0Cs)
Posted by: Dudley Smith at January 31, 2007 09:28 AM (uVCZA)
Puking in 3... 2... 1...
Posted by: mikeyslaw at January 31, 2007 09:35 AM (yrptY)
From past experience, if Ace tells me not to click...
I no click...
Posted by: IdFaciam at January 31, 2007 09:42 AM (OFfpv)
Regarding the previous unsigned comment with points (1)-(3): you're probably right, but that observation is a pretty sad (yet accurate) commentary on what sells in popular culture these days.
And it'd be YUUGE in Europe, where they go just apeshit over Fergie for some unfathomable reason, and where Yeamon's "F**k It," the uncensored version, was at the top of the charts through much of 2004 and was playing over the sound system in every damn clothing store and gelato shop I went into that summer.
As it is, I'm glad I watched it with the sound on mute and made good use of the fast-forward. And I promptly left a comment on the clip's YouTube page with my impression: that it was just slightly more cringe-worthy and embarrassing to watch than the Star Wars Kid.
Posted by: Alex at January 31, 2007 09:47 AM (fgyj8)
Posted by: Sporting Wood at January 31, 2007 10:09 AM (nqpjs)
Posted by: at January 31, 2007 10:10 AM (TZVNO)
Posted by: Rosie O'Donnell at January 31, 2007 10:43 AM (1tlBF)
I took Ace at his word and didn't look. But I read with horror the comments and wails from the posters.
Question: I saw the still photo in the video window when I went to comments. Is my dork gonna fall off?
Can I save it by soaking it in something? Or washing it really vigorously with vaseline soap - I always liked that.
Posted by: Cautious_Celery at January 31, 2007 11:13 AM (41Dd+)
Posted by: skydiever at January 31, 2007 11:21 AM (k4M/y)
Damn you, Ace of Spades!
Posted by: Nordbuster at January 31, 2007 11:40 AM (jYT9+)
And you are way off on Dick not being a good writer. I mean, in the sense of like, characterization, plot and/or prose style, sure, he sucks. But you don't go to Arby's for fillet mignon, and you don't buy a diamond ring in a head shop.
Posted by: Knemon at January 31, 2007 01:47 PM (Z+wnO)
You drink your Val-U-Rite with that mouth?
Posted by: Knemon at January 31, 2007 01:48 PM (Z+wnO)
Posted by anyportinastorm
But would you snack on it?
Posted by: TaterCon at January 31, 2007 06:28 PM (wOw24)
Posted by: Xoxotl at January 31, 2007 11:53 PM (IZYft)
Posted by: Allen at February 01, 2007 12:24 AM (RBmhU)
Posted by: Margaret Cho's Douchenozzel at February 01, 2007 01:08 AM (rFLG5)
Posted by: Chanel Outlet at May 26, 2012 07:13 AM (fos/5)
Posted by: lebron9 at June 06, 2012 02:58 AM (dccfr)
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