January 31, 2009
Plus: The Thing Prequel
— Ace It's actually Magnum Force.
Magnum Force, the 1973 sequel to the Clint Eastwood thriller Dirty Harry, is getting a musical makeover and may even be Broadway bound, according to The Guardian. English singer-songwriter Robyn Hitchcock, an admitted Magnum Force obsessive, will compose the score and intends to produce the show with MTV executive Bill Flanagan....
And finally we'll get that sequel to The Thing. Sorta. It's a prequel focusing on the
Swedes Norwegians who were attacked just prior to the discovery of the Thing by the Americans and MacReady.
Which is kinda not a good idea, for the same reason the Star Wars prequels weren't a good idea: We already know pretty much what happened, don't we. The end of The Thing was a bit unexpected, with the implication that both surviving heroes actually die. (Actually, not quite so clear, as many speculate at least one is a Thing, and further wonder if they did die after all.)
On the other hand, we know (sorta) that the entirety of the Norwegian base is destroyed and all hands killed. While it's possible a couple of Norgies got away on a dog-sled, they didn't make it to the nearest base over the following days, so even if they "escaped," they die in the snow. Just like MacReady and Childs. The unexpected ending of the first movie is the utterly-expected (well-nigh required) ending of the sequel.
Plus... who cares if some fucking Scandis die? Where is the drama? Plus, wouldn't all the Scandis being killed be too upbeat and life-affirming an ending for the Thing franchise?
Anyway... this should set some geek hearts a-pumpin':
Studio has set "Battlestar Galactica" exec producer Ron Moore to write the script and commercials director Matthijs Van Heijningen to direct the re-imagining.
Thanks to Ray Midge for the last.
I'll Say It: I want MacReady back. Just like in Aliens, paid to advise a squad hunting what they think might be another Thing outbreak.
I guess that would be controversial, given that the ending of the first movie pretty much said he died. And that resurrecting him would kind of cheapen that.
Then again, one can escape from Antarctica. Shackleton did it. Why not MacReady?
Okay, okay. They're not going to bring MacReady back. Still, the movie should be a sequel set after the events of the first film, not a prequel.
Ah: Reading more about Shackleton's feat, I see he managed it before winter set on the already frigid continent. The Thing makes it clear that they are already in the winter (albeit "first week of fuckin' winter," I think).
Posted by: Blue Falcon at January 31, 2009 01:07 PM (SMD8k)
How 'bout fucking Rambo: The Ballet next?
Posted by: nickless at January 31, 2009 01:08 PM (MMC8r)
Posted by: joe biden at January 31, 2009 01:12 PM (o6ci8)
How about Troll 3: The Opera:
"They're eating her! Then they'll eat me! Ohhhhh my Gooooooooooooooodddd!"
Need some lungs for that
Posted by: TexasJew at January 31, 2009 01:13 PM (Ctjeq)
Posted by: Z Ryan at January 31, 2009 01:16 PM (PDeVA)
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 31, 2009 01:16 PM (MKNSy)
Obligatory. If Hollywood remade Deliverance, it would now be a love story.
Posted by: nickless at January 31, 2009 01:18 PM (MMC8r)
Posted by: JWF at January 31, 2009 01:20 PM (29kbu)
Posted by: DG at January 31, 2009 01:28 PM (MCHyX)
Posted by: jbarntt at January 31, 2009 01:33 PM (qSalV)
Posted by: LFMayor at January 31, 2009 01:36 PM (Ge7CK)
I'd live blog A Fist Full of Dollars, except that pizza is on the table.
And it's not a true classic like The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.
Posted by: Tinian at January 31, 2009 01:37 PM (Ohodx)
Posted by: Cautiously Pessimistic at January 31, 2009 01:39 PM (ltwze)
Posted by: LFMayor at January 31, 2009 01:41 PM (Ge7CK)
Posted by: prairiemain at January 31, 2009 01:42 PM (oPAYR)
Posted by: jbarntt at January 31, 2009 01:43 PM (qSalV)
Posted by: prairiemain at January 31, 2009 01:44 PM (oPAYR)
Claudia Cardinale's boobs. MMMMMMMM.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 31, 2009 01:46 PM (MKNSy)
Posted by: LFMayor at January 31, 2009 01:49 PM (Ge7CK)
Posted by: richard mcenroe at January 31, 2009 01:50 PM (DBS+D)
Posted by: Bruce at January 31, 2009 01:51 PM (oedyI)
Robyn Hitchcock has about thirty years of (mostly very good) manliness=gayness songs under his belt already. So this one's even more of a duh than usual.
Posted by: Hc34T at January 31, 2009 01:52 PM (Hc34T)
Posted by: wooga at January 31, 2009 01:59 PM (IhzyJ)
Posted by: George Orwell at January 31, 2009 02:02 PM (AZGON)
A lot of those people that hate Carpenter's The Thing are hating on the TV version with the narration. And I don't blame them, that version is fucking awful.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 31, 2009 02:04 PM (MKNSy)
Posted by: eman at January 31, 2009 02:05 PM (ZsOIJ)
Played with Hitchcock in the mid 1980's. Soft Boys and early Hitchcock solo stuff is good.
Posted by: jbarntt at January 31, 2009 06:33 PM (qSalV)
I like Robyn's early stuff too; particularly the live album with The Egyptians "Gotta Let This Hen Out". Usually "quirky" song writers irritate the fuck out of me but something about him makes me really enjoy stuff like "My Wife and My Dead Wife". Plus the Soft Boys did great Dylan/Byrds covers. His recent discography is pretty large but I haven't heard a damn bit of it so I wonder how good it is. I hope that his involvement in this isn't some pathetic way to try to seem "edgy" after the creative well is as dry as Pelosi's cooter.
Posted by: Captain Hate at January 31, 2009 02:05 PM (ZW5eD)
What if someone substitutes live ammo and decides the audience is the bad guys?
Posted by: NortonPete at January 31, 2009 02:06 PM (fVuwW)
Posted by: toby928 at January 31, 2009 02:06 PM (PD1tk)
shifting the Thing sequel to N.Mexico would ease up on the hotwater bottles of watching the original-I practically froze to death!
dirtyharry guns down the thing and tremors
Posted by: rd at January 31, 2009 02:08 PM (99DUJ)
I know many here are fond of the new Galactica, but Ron Moore took a conservatively themed story, cheesy as it was at times, and turned it into a nihilist liberal jack-off fantasy. Ripped from today's headlines, no less.
Fucking nihlists, man.
Posted by: Captain Atom at January 31, 2009 02:08 PM (l9UkQ)
Posted by: George Orwell at January 31, 2009 02:16 PM (AZGON)
That's just great. We'll probably find out that MacReady is a fucking Cylon now.
Posted by: John McClusterfuck Hussein McCain at January 31, 2009 02:17 PM (4XUD3)
Posted by: DPR Hussein VIII at January 31, 2009 02:18 PM (4XUD3)
Posted by: Cautiously Pessimistic at January 31, 2009 02:18 PM (ltwze)
Posted by: nickless at January 31, 2009 02:19 PM (MMC8r)
Not a bad game, plot was all right but got mired down partway through with evil government/corporation conspiracies and whatnot. Still worth a playthrough, if you can find it for a few bucks (Probably can't even find it, this far down the line).
Posted by: stanthecaddy at January 31, 2009 02:21 PM (UKELC)
Posted by: Ombudsman at January 31, 2009 02:21 PM (fWF4Q)
Posted by: Captain Hate at January 31, 2009 02:23 PM (ZW5eD)
But a retread of the Thing with a bunch of Euro-Norgies contemplating Kierkegarde and their own mortality while confronting the existential (extraterestistential??) threat of a shape-shifting monster? That's awfully lame. Maybe they oughta try this in black-and-white a la Bergman and play up each paranoid outburt as an eloquent soliloquoy that confirms the grim inner state of mankind.
I'm afraid Ace is right. Killing them all would be too uplifting to affect any deeper dramatic purpose. And in this case all Norgies must die. Thank God I'm a Swede....
Posted by: Scott in OC at January 31, 2009 02:23 PM (IWrbC)
Posted by: ErikTheRed at January 31, 2009 02:25 PM (erlfI)
Posted by: nickless at January 31, 2009 02:26 PM (MMC8r)
Oh. David Soul, Tim Matheson, and a bunch of other pretty boys in their metrosexual prime. That's a different story. Now I get it.
Posted by: Ombudsman at January 31, 2009 02:27 PM (fWF4Q)
Posted by: nickless at January 31, 2009 02:28 PM (MMC8r)
Posted by: Ombudsman at January 31, 2009 02:32 PM (fWF4Q)
If I remember right there was a least one Skandi that survived in the other camp. Also Maccready survives, flying a helicoptor, which you then shoot at explosive barrels while uber giant Thing (in tentacle-form) throws things at you and attacks a armored division. Yes it makes no sense. But it did pull off the loss of normalcy and paranoia vibe from the movie.
Posted by: AFlyingSquirrel at January 31, 2009 02:39 PM (ZuRcl)
Posted by: Ombudsman at January 31, 2009 07:32 PM (fWF4Q)
I have a need to point out comments that literally made me LOL.
Posted by: Captain Hate at January 31, 2009 02:39 PM (ZW5eD)
Posted by: bse5150 at January 31, 2009 02:45 PM (3D+A0)
Posted by: CoolCzech at January 31, 2009 02:45 PM (iafWn)
Posted by: jbarntt at January 31, 2009 02:46 PM (qSalV)
Sergio Leone was genius.
Treasure his works.
Posted by: Tinian at January 31, 2009 02:47 PM (Ohodx)
Posted by: Ombudsman at January 31, 2009 07:32 PM (fWF4Q)
And hell, we haven't even mentioned his at-the-time bedwench, Sondra Locke. I hope that sex blew his face off, because she was a world class embarrassment to film.
Posted by: Ombudsman at January 31, 2009 02:51 PM (fWF4Q)
Any movie needs MacReady. Hollywood 101. Given Russell's age, it will need to be set 30 years after the original. I have no problem with him having escaped alive along with the black dude. Say... turns out they were both human, a party investigation the earlier Norwegians stumbles across them having seen the fires... (I dunno, invent your own screenwriter magic) Anyway, 30 years later: a new flare up that involves MacReady. Maybe an urban city setting. Maybe somethign entirely else. But it doesn't ahve to be back in the Arctic.
At present, going with the Norweegian story seems to indicate that the producers are in love with the isolated setting that the antarctic necessarily brings - that this isolated setting is necessary to profit from the inherent tension the shapeshifting power of the creature delivers.
This is a mistake. Alien depended on the same isolation to produce the "we're being hunted" tension. Aliens had nothing teo do with that. It was an action movie. "The Things" needs to be an action movie set 30 years later. (And don't say Russell can't still do it. Please. Stuntman Mike? Also, he doesn't even get clsoe to pushing the "too old" envelope the way the last go round of Indy Jones did.)
Posted by: Ray Midge at January 31, 2009 02:51 PM (R5BSx)
The creature would be freed from its icy tomb by global warming, of course. It would attack an oil drilling operation which also happens to have a group of scientists stationed there. At first, the guy who runs the place - an asshole Texas oilman profit-obsessed business guy who ridicules global warming and evolution - orders everyone to attack the Thing, and a bunch of people get killed. Eventually, though, the lead scientist - a woman who's smarter and tougher than anyone else - understands that the Thing just wants to get home, so she helps it fix its spacecraft and it leaves peacefully.
Yeah, that would be teh awesome.
Posted by: Brendan at January 31, 2009 02:59 PM (2jQGY)
I've met him personally, he's a nice guy.
Posted by: kbdabear at January 31, 2009 03:01 PM (miw86)
Posted by: steevy at January 31, 2009 03:05 PM (0s+u8)
Thanks, but I put on my pants one leg at a time just like everyone else. Except once my pants are on, I make hit movies.
Posted by: Ray Midge at January 31, 2009 03:23 PM (R5BSx)
Moore hasn't ever had an original thought - he takes someone else's concept, loads it into a PC washing machine and bleaches the hue, color and vibrance from the original fabric.
Carpenters The Thing is near perfection but that won't stop Moore from turning the franchise into a Hollywood PC wankfest.
Posted by: 13times at January 31, 2009 03:25 PM (phG1k)
Posted by: Cincinnatus at January 31, 2009 03:33 PM (5OVpL)
Video games almost always get this stuff right, at least in terms of plot. They aim squarely for men and boys. Movies are targetted for city libs, teenie boppers, or children.
'Dead Space' is the best rip-off/culmination of this genre I've ever seen. I doubt it could be done better. Zero-G soundless vacuum combat, baby!
Posted by: Captain Atom at January 31, 2009 03:33 PM (l9UkQ)
John Milius rules. Conan, Red Dawn, The Wind and the Lion (at least that USMC parts), The Roughriders...
Every one of those makes liberals and metros curl up into a ball and cry. It's amazing that he got to make the movies he did.
Posted by: Captain Atom at January 31, 2009 03:38 PM (l9UkQ)
Is Magnum Farce the one with Mustafa? Damn, that Poppy Popwell was heat. If they can find a new Poppy, I wholly support this endeavor.
Posted by: Amanda at January 31, 2009 03:47 PM (SXosX)
Reading more about Shackleton's feat, I see he managed it before winter set on the already frigid continent.
Shackleton was a bad dude. Even after that disaster, he tried going back one more time. He died en route and they buried him on South Georgia.
Posted by: Steve L. at January 31, 2009 04:00 PM (5L8hi)
Posted by: Shawn at January 31, 2009 04:39 PM (ijcTK)
#14 I thought that the chopper got all blowed up, making the score:
But I haven't seen it in a few months, so on this I may be mistaken.
Posted by: Troll Feeder at January 31, 2009 04:44 PM (3rpjH)
That reminds me of one of my favorite parts of The Thing. Mac and Dr. Copper set down in the helicopter at the scandahoovian base and proceed to start investigating:
Mac: "YO, SWEDEN!"
Copper: "They're not Swedish Mac, they're Norwegian."
Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at January 31, 2009 05:17 PM (d4LHu)
Posted by: richard mcenroe at January 31, 2009 05:18 PM (pEXyx)
Posted by: richard mcenroe at January 31, 2009 05:21 PM (pEXyx)
Posted by: bob in houston at January 31, 2009 05:30 PM (Apn7s)
"They're Norwegians, Mac."
A sequel might work, a la Aliens. The thing is (ha), we didn't see MacReady die at the end. Ten minutes after the credits, a rescue helicopter might have shown up, if anyone was monitoring for earthquakes or something. It's not really plausible but it is possible.
I was always curious about what the guys were doing there in the first place. "Getting drunk and stoned" doesn't seem like activity that needs an empty continent.
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at January 31, 2009 05:40 PM (fnoZ9)
I remember happening upon a Thing fansite a while back while looking for an online version of Campbell's original story, and there was a statement to the efffect that Carpenter intended to do a sequel, premised on the idea that MacReady survived and was rescued by a Special Forces team (who also, of course, inadvertantly picked up the alien shape-shifter).
Interesting if true, along the same lines of the planned sequel to Buckaroo Banzai that Carpenter was drawn into which eventually morphed into Big Trouble in Little China.
Posted by: A. Pendragon at January 31, 2009 05:43 PM (U1wig)
Just for the production numbers. And Vic Morrow's moustache was hot.
The Roger Corman Follies and Musical Review: Featuring the many musical talents of William Shatner (The Intruder)
Posted by: kbdabear at January 31, 2009 06:21 PM (miw86)
Posted by: kbdabear at January 31, 2009 06:24 PM (miw86)
Posted by: Korla Pundit at February 01, 2009 03:47 AM (TaHq4)
Posted by: Korla Pundit at February 01, 2009 03:53 AM (TaHq4)
Posted by: eman at February 01, 2009 04:01 AM (ZsOIJ)
if its a prequel (thing) then mcready aint dead yet.
'that makes you a murderer dont it"
Posted by: random fucker at February 01, 2009 04:48 AM (4wp2c)
Posted by: Knemon at February 01, 2009 08:48 AM (eMEGi)
Posted by: scaramouche at February 01, 2009 09:39 AM (bNCCK)
Plus there would be Ninjas.
Posted by: Dave S. at February 01, 2009 10:04 AM (t8arg)
Posted by: steevy at February 01, 2009 10:12 AM (aTDFO)
Posted by: ace at February 01, 2009 11:39 AM (gEsIJ)
You Schakleton/Endurance reserach is Pelosi-esque.
I aint no Gerbil Worming revisionist but I am pretty sure there was some winter weather in the Antarctic between January 1914 and August 1916.
Posted by: Foz at February 01, 2009 11:50 AM (leSHq)
If it just must be a prequel, they should set it in space. How did that spaceship end up crashing there? Was it manned by Klingons or something, that got picked off one by one by the Thing, then the last one crashed into Earth in a desperate last ditch effort to destroy the Thing? Not saying it would be a good movie, but at least it would be a real prequel as opposed to a glorified remake.
Antarctica comes pretty close to being an indespensable character in the story. So the setting of a sequel should at least be similar. How about a mountain, like in Cliffhanger? If MacReady is alive, he should have lost a limb to frostbite or something to show how close he came to death.
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