April 26, 2006
— Ace I mentioned this pretty prominent, with boldfacing and all, earlier today. But only four people bothered to comment on the news.
Yesterday's news that consumer confidence was at a four-year high was similarly greeted with the yawns usually expected from Aaron Brown, or whoever Aaron Brown might be having sex with.
Why was this, I wondered? Then I remembered. You're all a bunch of drooling morons. If I don't include cute graphics and cowbell-themes, you just don't "get" basic economic news.
Pardon my oversight. Here, for the first time, the Golden Cowbell image with the Ace of Spades Cowbell Theme attached (click on it for song). [Song courtesy of Blaster's Blog.]
But maybe even that isn't sinking in to your thick, Cro-magnon moronskulls. So additional audio-visual cues of a slightly risque nature are provided after the jump.
Hot big-booby Austrian gaming girl-geek, again with Cowbell theme:
And if that still isn't enough to penetrate your solid-bone cretinheads,
how about KIM RICHARDS from Tuff Turf with Cowbell theme?
Some here are Justine Bateman partisans, so, okay, here's Mallory Cheesecake, with Cowbell Theme:
And finally, if you low-functioning stupidheads don't get it YET, here's Johnny Coldcuts, the time-travelling foul-mouthed baloney sandwhich, trying to explain it to you:
Give the economy the props it deserves,
you rotten shitbag goatfuckers!
Mark it in your calenders: Dow Jones 11,000
by July, you dirty-asses!
Johnny Coldcuts doesn't like the Ace of Spades Cowbell theme, as it's "too pussyshit" for his tastes, so he suggests the Allah-produced Lionel Ritchie/Pat O'Brien duet of Hello to celebrate the good economic news.
(Note that that song is not safe for work, because Lionel Ritchie is really foul-mouthed.)
All right, all right... for the Ladies and/or Homos:
Okay, I know Jason Bateman might not be every one's cup of tea, but it was this or Chris Klein or Charles Nelson Reilly.
Posted by: Tiglath-Pilsner III at April 26, 2006 11:24 AM (12nak)
and the Whitesnake cover (is there some hidden meaning there?) and big boobie Austrian chick and Kim AND Johnny Coldcuts?
If the Dow hits 15k this is the FIRST place I'm checking out.
Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 26, 2006 11:26 AM (pzen5)
Posted by: Guy T. at April 26, 2006 11:27 AM (j02xJ)
Posted by: Mark V. at April 26, 2006 11:27 AM (2ipxY)
You fill a need I didn't even know I had.
Posted by: Toby928 at April 26, 2006 11:28 AM (ATbKm)
Posted by: Rocketeer at April 26, 2006 11:33 AM (GFaLW)
Posted by: pajama momma at April 26, 2006 11:35 AM (IC2Qj)
Dave at Garfield Ridge
Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge at April 26, 2006 11:37 AM (y1hCN)
Posted by: Anonymous Geek at April 26, 2006 11:43 AM (YvXOH)
Posted by: morning wood at April 26, 2006 11:44 AM (+aNmG)
I meant to add her, but, you know, it kind of got annoying linking every old pic I've ever put up.
But she's on there now. Pardon the oversight.
Kim Richards and Mallory together are lesbian pron. Just use a little bit of imagination.
Posted by: ace at April 26, 2006 11:46 AM (yQUbP)
Dave at Garfield Ridge
Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge at April 26, 2006 11:51 AM (y1hCN)
Gotta admit, Ace knows his audience.
Posted by: Steve at April 26, 2006 11:55 AM (149Ek)
Posted by: leatherneck at April 26, 2006 12:00 PM (D2g/j)
Posted by: j at April 26, 2006 12:02 PM (yHvEo)
Posted by: morning wood at April 26, 2006 12:02 PM (+aNmG)
Posted by: Silk at April 26, 2006 12:08 PM (0Hk2d)
Darling, it IS. Do you know how much a gallon of aviation kerosene is? It cost me $4,049.85 to fill up the Learjet the other day, and that won't even get me back to LA from NYC fighting the jetstream all the way. If things don't get beter soon, I'll have to start flying commercial first class, and just how am I supposed to live like that?
Answer me. HOW?
Posted by: Arianna at April 26, 2006 12:14 PM (GFaLW)
Posted by: Dale at April 26, 2006 12:18 PM (VE3QR)
-Stuff Jefferson Said
Third Edition - 1965
Posted by: FreakyBoy at April 26, 2006 12:34 PM (cfpMt)
Posted by: Ralph Wiggum at April 26, 2006 12:42 PM (biNPb)
He's a conservative, you know, you should give him the beefcake space.
Posted by: bbeck at April 26, 2006 12:51 PM (qF8q3)
Posted by: Slublog at April 26, 2006 12:52 PM (aGpO3)
Posted by: Slublog at April 26, 2006 12:55 PM (aGpO3)
Cheese and crackers, that man is gorgeous. Smart, too. And 6' 4". Swoon.
Morena's very pretty, too. There's been talk about her in the lead role for the Wonder Woman movie, which would probably be the only reason to see it. Hubby thought she was hot until the "Heart of Gold" episode, and then her behavior turned him off. He's more of a Kaylee type, anyway.
Posted by: bbeck at April 26, 2006 01:02 PM (qF8q3)
The only woman on that show who's I don't find attractive is River. She's pretty, but seems weird..
Posted by: Slublog at April 26, 2006 01:10 PM (aGpO3)
Apparently, the market was waiting for the cowbell picture
Posted by: Jay at April 26, 2006 01:26 PM (H5zz/)
Posted by: kevlarchick at April 26, 2006 01:30 PM (bWRxm)
Gentlemen, I direct your attention to the following:
You're welcome. Really.
Posted by: Ed Snate at April 26, 2006 01:32 PM (bb361)
Wow, I didn't know she had implants.
Posted by: bbeck at April 26, 2006 01:34 PM (qF8q3)
Worked for me
Posted by: Ed Snate at April 26, 2006 01:35 PM (bb361)
Posted by: Ed Snate at April 26, 2006 01:36 PM (bb361)
Posted by: Paul Zrimsek at April 26, 2006 01:51 PM (E3Bj/)
Posted by: Laddy at April 26, 2006 01:51 PM (Jcl/L)
Alex P. Keaton should be the AoS poster boy.
By the way, speaking of boobs, Elise Keaton had a nice pair. Meredith Baxter-Birney-Hyphen-Dash-Hyphen was in made for TV movie in the early '90s called My Breast.
She showed her left breast while the doctor examined it for lumps. Not only did we see the entire boob, but we saw it poked and prodded. For the ladies who don't understand why that is significant, I'll explain.
It's one thing to see naked parts of a woman. But it is entirely different to see the naked part squeezed and jiggled. It gives the guy a better, let's say, sense of textuality. (Is that a word?) Well, you get my drift.
Posted by: Bart at April 26, 2006 01:59 PM (Bc9zE)
Wanna go out with me?
Posted by: Feisty at April 26, 2006 04:49 PM (J5+Si)
I'd talk to him myself to see what he thinks, but I never can find the time in the rush home to check on how much my stock portfolio has gained (22% in the last year.)
Also, I don't give a flying fuck about smelly beggars who refuse to do an honest day's work.
Posted by: The Warden at April 26, 2006 05:22 PM (rZ5uY)
Posted by: Jester at April 26, 2006 05:27 PM (bsyaY)
In that pic Jason Bateman looks like he smells like pee.
OK, so Charles Nelson Reilly will deafen you by laughing crazily in your ear whilst snuggling. And he'll spit on you a lot while he talks.
But he looks like he probably smells good.
Posted by: lauraw at April 26, 2006 06:13 PM (o6H31)
except lauraw. her and her damn hump. *sigh
Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 26, 2006 06:26 PM (NmPpZ)
Well I think he looks more like turkey than bologna.
Posted by: The Real Steve at April 27, 2006 03:31 AM (n0lBX)
Oh well, so long war on ter....
Wait, good economy and good recruitment numbers?!?!?! Its like all the criticism of the last 4 years have no basis in reality and were just pulled from some reporter's ass.
Posted by: joeindc44 at April 27, 2006 03:41 AM (K0x/A)
According to the people who don't understand why anybody would join the military unless they were starving, recruitment should be extremely low.
But I'm sure they can flip it around- 'Imagine what recruitment would be like if the economy weren't so robust! Damn that Bush!'
Oh, and speaking of illegals...in a more barbaric time we could use forced conscription to deal with them.
It would be more cost effective than deportation or incarceration, and my belief is that the flow of new illegals over the border would stanch itself to a great degree.
If I were Queen of America this would be a very different place.
Posted by: lauraw at April 27, 2006 04:02 AM (RMMp2)
We'd all have ponds and flowers in our back yard.
Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 27, 2006 04:26 AM (pzen5)
Posted by: lauraw at April 27, 2006 04:35 AM (RMMp2)
I would also elect the stud Johnny Coldcuts as queen. Salty and yummy hot thing that he is.
Posted by: kevlarchick at April 27, 2006 04:38 AM (OXVLj)
Posted by: Dave in Texas at April 27, 2006 04:46 AM (pzen5)
How'd you become queen, then?
Posted by: Roy at April 27, 2006 04:55 AM (2XXia)
Posted by: Marty at April 27, 2006 05:31 AM (vxsJT)
Clinton’s strong disapproval never got above 37 percent in Post-ABC polls during his presidency.
Posted by: Mike at April 27, 2006 07:12 AM (leJWb)
I'll be that's never happened before. Usually the people's approval of the president is completely unrelated to their perception of the economy.
Even so, the article says that the preference for Democratic control of congress has been falling.
Posted by: Roy at April 27, 2006 07:39 AM (2XXia)
Posted by: Gutless Weasel at April 27, 2006 07:51 AM (iDneH)
Posted by: SarahW at May 25, 2006 05:02 AM (mZUFb)
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