May 30, 2006

Democrats Train At Religious Outreach
— Ace

Lesson One: His name is Jesus Christ, not "The Despised One."

Posted by: Ace at 08:39 AM | Comments (19)
Post contains 21 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Afterwards, they'll hold hands and sing "Kumbaya" around the pentagram.

Posted by: The Colossus at May 30, 2006 08:42 AM (L7hmn)

2 Great. I look forward to a bunch of nonsense like, "Jesus would vote Democrat, since Jesus cared about poor people".

Posted by: sandy burger at May 30, 2006 08:43 AM (ePQxy)

3 Interesting. I know that God is everywhere (omnipresent) but I think he might be taking a pass when it comes to Eugene, OR...

What are the odds that abortion and gay marriage will come up as topics?

Posted by: Jeff at May 30, 2006 08:52 AM (yiMNP)

4 > Lesson One: His name is Jesus Christ, not "The Despised One."

Aw, I can't resist:

Isaiah 53:3
He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Posted by: Guy T. at May 30, 2006 09:19 AM (j02xJ)

5 The outreach got off on a bad foot when Nancy Pelosi, visiting a local church, started hissing at the sight of a crucifix. She then killed two bystanders trying to flee, before turning into a bat and flying off into the night.

Posted by: Shawn, but not lowercased shawn at May 30, 2006 09:23 AM (NpQqC)

6 Jesus was insane.

Posted by: Honest Liberal at May 30, 2006 09:29 AM (Gi7oA)

7 Lesson Two: Christians are inveterate snake handlers, so only send operatives who are comfortable around snakes. Members of our Gaia-worshipping constituency may be the best suited.

Lesson Three: Yes, I know the exclamation "Sweet Zombie Jesus!" is funny, but Christians don't like it. They can be so touchy!

Posted by: Master Shake at May 30, 2006 09:35 AM (VmtE9)

8 ^According to CS Lewis He is if you do not believe he is God Incarnate.

Anyway, my pastor had an interesting take on religion in politics during a sermon. He said based on generalizations commonly held the Democrats do a great job on issues of social and racial justice but come up way short on major morality issues such as homosexuality, abortion, etc. The commonly held view is that Republicans do great on the moral issues but come up short on social justice. He basically said both parties fail to grasp the entirety of Christ's message prefer to latch on to one part of it.

He said that is why he is an Independent.

Posted by: bcb at May 30, 2006 09:39 AM (Z4MiQ)

9 the Democrats do a great job on issues of social and racial justice

That explains why they want to perpetuate race-based preferences, eh?

Posted by: Robert Crawford at May 30, 2006 10:14 AM (1j9aH)

10 I know that God is everywhere (omnipresent) but I think he might be taking a pass when it comes to Eugene, OR...

As a resident of Eugene, I can tell you there's some truth in this...

Posted by: OregonMuse at May 30, 2006 10:22 AM (iPbcj)

11 It will offer a half-day training session on religious outreach, an important part of the Democratic Party's attempt to extend beyond its core secular issues.

Yeah, a half-day should cover it.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at May 30, 2006 10:32 AM (pzen5)

12 I know that God is everywhere (omnipresent) but I think he might be taking a pass when it comes to Eugene, OR...

As a resident of Eugene, I can say there's definitely some truth to this...

Posted by: OregonMuse at May 30, 2006 10:35 AM (iPbcj)

13 Yep, you could learn enough buzz words to fake it in a half day.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at May 30, 2006 12:02 PM (gf5iT)

14 here's a more plausible conspiracy theory: Jerry Bruckheimer knew about 9/11 in advance and tries to warn us. In Enemy of the State theres a part where Gene Hackman's character tells us about how the NSA has computers that record all our phone calls listening for key words to start recording. The words listed are (from memory) "bomb", "president" and "Allah." Then it cuts to them looking at the records of an NSA director who is abusing these technologies to violate peoples rights. His bithday? 9/11. No shit.

Posted by: brainy435 at May 30, 2006 12:15 PM (4JhFz)

15 Crap. Wrong topic.

Posted by: brainy435 at May 30, 2006 12:18 PM (4JhFz)

16 I live in Eugene. I'll have to stop off an say hi. Maybe dress up as a hippy and start a scene.

Posted by: Jason at May 30, 2006 01:25 PM (gNw0L)

17 Wow, Democrats are learning to get to know Jesus! <_<

I'd be happier if I knew this wasn't a half-assed attempt at "understanding" Christianity so they can shill to all us Bible-thumpin' redneck fundamentalist types. Yeah, we'll accept the Democrat platform if it's given to us dolled up with Bible quotes and "WWJD" type of slogans.

I'm a Christian, I'm not a Democrat, and I'm not impressed with folks who sit around and think of ways to con me into getting their vote with religion. If they truly had religion to begin with here, this whole news story would never ha ve had to be written.

Hey Democrats, "Jesus saves", not "big government saves, except against heathen terrorists angry because it's our fault".

Posted by: exdem13 at May 30, 2006 03:10 PM (NRrvx)

18 Who do they think their kidding? not this old bird

Posted by: spurwing plover at May 31, 2006 04:16 AM (A09bm)

19 To the left, religious == stupid. They really believe they can con people like this

Posted by: Purple Avenger at May 31, 2006 01:34 PM (gf5iT)

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