March 30, 2006
— Ace An amazing new national security plan has two key provisions:
1) "Responsibly redepolying" US troops from Iraq (i.e., bugging out as soon as we can get the transport ships and planes in);
2) "eliminating" Osama bin Ladin.
Eliminating Osama bin Ladin! Why hasn't anyone suggested this before? It's one of those ideas that's so novel and yet compelling you wonder why you never thought of it!
Critics say the plan "lacks specifics," but then, crticis are always saying stupid shit like that. Besides, the Democrats do have some specifics. They have a specific five point plan to "eliminate" Osama bin Ladin:
1) Let all Americans know with a massively-overhyped silly little fart of press release that they are ready to "get tough" on Osama, and in fact intend to "eliminate" him.
2) Use this new credibility on military policy to win back the Congress and then impeach President Bush. And then Cheney, too, because that guy is just scary.
3) Repeal all of President Bush's tax cuts and provide subsidies for health care and education.
4) Grant amnesty to all illegal immigrants, thereby reducing the threat of terrorists sneaking in as illegal immigrants. If there is no illegal immigration at all, you see, there is no threat from it. Q.E.D.
5) "Eliminate" Osama bin Ladin.
When pressed for details about this crucial step five, Hillary! spokesman Harold Wolfson released a further plan, this one even more specific about "eliminating" Osama bin Ladin.
1) Find Osama bin Ladin, so that he can be eliminated.
2) Send people to where he is now known to be, so they will be in a position to eliminate him.
3) Arm them with weapons appropriate to the task of eliminating him, such as, inter alia, guns, knives, nunchucks, and other useful implements of elimination.
4) Impeach President Bush.
5) Eliminate Osama bin Ladin.
So, there you go. The Democrats have a plan. And all they need to execute this plan is 1, your voting them back into power, 2, your allowing them to impeach President Bush, and 3, nunchucks.
It was produced and directed by Mel Brooks.......................
Posted by: Colonel Jerry USMC(ret.) at March 30, 2006 01:29 PM (BJYNn)
I think you forgot "4, tax increases." Actually, tax increases should probably be #3, ahead of the 'chucks.
Personally, I think all the Republicans really need to do to win every contested seat this election is repeat, like a mantra, the phrase "President Pelosi."
Posted by: Nucular Nate at March 30, 2006 01:33 PM (cmoKD)
Posted by: shawn at March 30, 2006 01:33 PM (uLve2)
By Murray Waas, National Journal
Â© National Journal Group Inc.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Karl Rove, President Bush's chief political adviser, cautioned other White House aides in the summer of 2003 that Bush's 2004 re-election prospects would be severely damaged if it was publicly disclosed that he had been personally warned that a key rationale for going to war had been challenged within the administration. Rove expressed his concerns shortly after an informal review of classified government records by then-Deputy National Security Adviser Stephen J. Hadley determined that Bush had been specifically advised that claims he later made in his 2003 State of the Union address -- that Iraq was procuring high-strength aluminum tubes to build a nuclear weapon -- might not be true, according to government records and interviews.
As the 2004 election loomed, the White House was determined to keep the wraps on a potentially damaging memo about Iraq.
Hadley was particularly concerned that the public might learn of a classified one-page summary of a National Intelligence Estimate, specifically written for Bush in October 2002.
The summary said that although "most agencies judge" that the aluminum tubes were "related to a uranium enrichment effort," the State Department's Bureau of Intelligence and Research and the Energy Department's intelligence branch "believe that the tubes more likely are intended for conventional weapons."
Posted by: Mike at March 30, 2006 01:38 PM (leJWb)
Posted by: Dale at March 30, 2006 01:39 PM (VE3QR)
Posted by: lmg at March 30, 2006 01:40 PM (aSIW8)
Posted by: Sergei at March 30, 2006 01:40 PM (hUitq)
Rush said to give them four months. That is how long it usually takes after democrats announce a new program that they propose raising taxes.
Posted by: Dale at March 30, 2006 01:42 PM (VE3QR)
He served in Vietnam by the way. Don't know if you had heard that.
Posted by: Dale at March 30, 2006 01:43 PM (VE3QR)
Posted by: Canelone at March 30, 2006 01:44 PM (1Vbso)
Posted by: elcid016187 at March 30, 2006 01:46 PM (YkilL)
How to be a Millionaire
-Get a million dollars
- Ask around and when you get an answer, go get him.
How to play the flute
- Blow into on end, and move your fingers over the holes
How to date an islandic super model named Anka
- See 'How to get a million dollars'
How to win an election as a democrate
- Act like a republican
Posted by: Viking at March 30, 2006 01:51 PM (gXzaY)
Posted by: shawn at March 30, 2006 01:55 PM (uLve2)
Posted by: geoff at March 30, 2006 01:59 PM (nH1Ad)
Posted by: Underpants Gnome at March 30, 2006 02:04 PM (KXnfG)
Now that I think about it, I really believe the Republicans should make "President Pelosi" their slogan this fall. Every time I think it might be a good idea to stay home and send a message to the party this time around, I think "President Pelosi" and I scream with terror and rededicate myself to pulling that lever for anyone with an "R" next to his name on the ballot. Needless to say, I haven't exactly made any friends in the elevators today.
Posted by: Nucular Nate at March 30, 2006 02:10 PM (+O2jK)
Posted by: Eric J at March 30, 2006 02:22 PM (5PRM2)
Posted by: Purple Avenger at March 30, 2006 02:40 PM (WjdPM)
"Capture OBL, damn, why didn't WE think of that?! "
I wonder if this fuckwit plan is the same one as Kerry's secret plan to win the war.
Posted by: Unruly Human at March 30, 2006 03:22 PM (zxIrU)
1. Wake up
2. Go to Kos
3. Post whatever he read at Kos at the Ace of Spades for some odd reason
4. Do some gay stuff that we don't want to talk about here
Posted by: Mike Superior at March 30, 2006 03:23 PM (K8G/M)
Which, come to think of it, probably isn't far off.
Posted by: Canelone at March 30, 2006 03:24 PM (1Vbso)
Posted by: geoff at March 30, 2006 03:28 PM (nH1Ad)
This is Tom Berenger all the way.
Posted by: lauraw at March 30, 2006 03:30 PM (o6H31)
Posted by: lauraw at March 30, 2006 03:32 PM (o6H31)
Hey, pass me more of that shit, dude......
Posted by: The Deanster at March 30, 2006 03:35 PM (56ssE)
Posted by: wiserbud at March 30, 2006 03:41 PM (56ssE)
Which, come to think of it, probably isn't far off.
It's probably a forgery anyway
Posted by: Unruly Human at March 30, 2006 03:59 PM (zxIrU)
Step 3: PROFIT!!!
Posted by: Evil Chihuahua at March 30, 2006 04:14 PM (2WNyx)
"Oh yeah? Well, what about x..y...z....... If you wanna talk about truth and stuff, you better deal with THIS first. That other stuff? ... You haven't even RESPONDED to this yet!!!."
Posted by: Matt at March 30, 2006 04:57 PM (3bFaP)
"Double the size of our Special Forces, increase our human intelligence capabilities, and ensure our intelligence is free from political pressure."
Er... how are you going to double the size of the Special Forces, exactly? Crap new soldiers? OH wait, it was the Democrats that said we should have the draft, wasn't it?
And we're supposed to believe the party of the Church commission and the Clinton CIA slashing years is the party to build a politically-free intelligence agency? Hello?
Posted by: Canelone at March 30, 2006 04:59 PM (1Vbso)
I know the seals suffered greatly under Clinton because a friend of mine was one for a while during that period before he decided it wasn't worth it anymore and left.
Another thing special forces do is use a LOT of ammo to train properly. I know democrats will balk if they see a 10,000 round per man per week training ammo allotment that's needed to stay sharp all the time.
Posted by: Purple Avenger at March 30, 2006 05:17 PM (WjdPM)
Have the Democrats done a study to determine that if we had more special forces troops that the militarywould be more effective? No. They sat around a conference room coming up with things that they thought would sound good.
Liberals hate the military. Now we're supposed to believe they know how to run things better?
Posted by: Steve O at March 30, 2006 05:27 PM (R0Csm)
You have so got a Bingo here friend!
Item: You don`t just break the glass and out comes a Green Beret. Roughly half the applicants don`t make it through and those that do still need a lot of time in the field to become pro. Language is very important and takes a couple of years from scratch.
Item: If Democrats are going to bring the troops home, why double SF? To hang around the USA....
Item: HUMINT (human intelligence). Worse! Takes 10 years from day one to become expert.
Item: Intelligence free from politics. Dream on teenage queen! Intel is knee deep in politics wherever they go.
You need to testify Canelone---with a 2x4..........
Posted by: Colonel Jerry USMC(ret.) at March 30, 2006 05:39 PM (BJYNn)
Posted by: hutch1200 at March 30, 2006 06:25 PM (RRVzm)
Although I can see how you all would be confused, being knuckle dragging rethuglicans and all.
Posted by: Defense Guy at March 30, 2006 06:29 PM (hckq8)
To finance these new elite units they will disband the Air Force, Navy and Army in order to finance their new Universal Islamic Studies program and Gay Diversity Celebration Policies.
Posted by: Thomas J. Jackson at March 30, 2006 06:35 PM (A7X8u)
Posted by: Mike Superior at March 30, 2006 06:39 PM (K8G/M)
Posted by: Miketron AutoBlogSpam Ver. 2.23 at March 30, 2006 07:15 PM (znVZQ)
Posted by: Muslihoon at March 30, 2006 07:37 PM (Q8UK2)
Posted by: joeindc44 at March 30, 2006 07:40 PM (znVZQ)
Posted by: Mike Superior at March 30, 2006 07:48 PM (K8G/M)
Posted by: truly gutless at March 30, 2006 07:53 PM (/0Qyy)
Anyone gonna tackle that one? Anytime now, Dubya.
Posted by: Feisty at March 30, 2006 10:17 PM (zNHq8)
Iraq as a 1980's version of Libya or current Iran is apparently OK with the democrats.
Can't succeed too much or you'd put the Madeline Notsobright and Strobe Talbot types out of business.
Posted by: Purple Avenger at March 31, 2006 01:17 AM (WjdPM)
Posted by: Be Like Mike at March 31, 2006 03:25 AM (YIFeG)
Posted by: UGAdawg at March 31, 2006 03:46 AM (alGm/)
The only thing I can think of is they were hoping the press would get ahold of this, condense it and play it up as some world-saving stroke of sheer genius. Which actually may be the only decent plan they really came up with. It just might work!
Posted by: spongeworthy at March 31, 2006 04:05 AM (uSomN)
I do wonder if Pelosi is allowed to beat these drums, afterall, she never, as Homer once said "You want the truth? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that used to be your best friend's face, you'll know what to do!"
She never 1. served in the military, and 2. if she did serve in the military, she was not in the shit. 3. if she was in the shit, she never got injured; and 4 if she did get injured then, oh wait, never mind she is a democrat, its all good.
Posted by: joeindc44 at March 31, 2006 04:48 AM (K0x/A)
Posted by: spurwing plover at March 31, 2006 05:04 AM (Dutrh)
And people are supposed to buy that? From the party that given power has spent every opportunity to weaken national security and our intelligence offices? Hello, McFly?!?!?
And yes, whatever happened to the Chickenhawk argument?
Posted by: Canelone at March 31, 2006 06:02 AM (1Vbso)
I'm getting deja vu all over again.
Posted by: Tongueboy at March 31, 2006 06:04 AM (nug4S)
That's all it takes? Hell, I got a few spare quarters right here.
Posted by: wiserbud at March 31, 2006 06:34 AM (AQGeh)
-Posted by Defense Guy at March 30, 2006 11:29 PM
I prefer the term Repugnican myself. "Bourgeois imperialist" also works; I like its sophisticated sound.
Posted by: Nucular Nate at March 31, 2006 06:52 AM (cmoKD)
It's the only way they could justify a "military increase" to their moonbat base.
Posted by: OregonMuse at March 31, 2006 06:54 AM (gWvet)
Bourgeois imperialism: Catch the fever!
Posted by: Nucular Nate at March 31, 2006 06:59 AM (cmoKD)
Posted by: Canelone at March 31, 2006 07:06 AM (1Vbso)
Posted by: Defense Guy at March 31, 2006 09:48 AM (jPCiN)
Commies insist that somehow it's worse for us to encourage other nations to open up to a free market than it was for the Soviet Union to, you know, actually conquer other nations, add them to its collective, and roll out the pogroms. I guess it has something to do with nuance.
Posted by: Nucular Nate at March 31, 2006 10:25 AM (cmoKD)
I'm pretty sure you were joking about that, but I just thought I'd throw this out there to be certain.
Posted by: Nucular Nate at March 31, 2006 10:30 AM (+O2jK)
How could things possibly be any better?
2,327 / 17,269
Posted by: Mike at March 31, 2006 11:56 AM (leJWb)
Posted by: Bookworm at March 31, 2006 12:15 PM (K3UBN)
If Ted Kennedy can triple his size ,he tell the Special Forces how to do it.
Posted by: D.Mills at March 31, 2006 06:05 PM (SvFSB)
-In Bosnia and Kosovo.
Posted by: at April 01, 2006 06:38 AM (1Vbso)
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