January 31, 2006
— Ace * Can assume any of the following forms, 3x per day: bat, wolf, cloud of fog, and, for economic reasons, Papa Gino's Pizza Delivery Boy.
* Only has 15 hit dice, but nine of them are where it counts, if you know what I'm sayin'.
* Often reads comic books while playing A-Ha's Take On Me cranked up to 10, hoping he can "break through" to the comic-world beyond the panel.
So far, he's managed this trick just once; he appeared in a single Family Circus cartoon in which he ritually sacrificed "Billy" to Lord Asmodeus.
* Has a cumulative 5% chance of picking up a woman per snake or skull-with-roses tatoo she has on her legs, ass, or pudendum. If she has a dragon tatoo on at least half of her back, he receives a 50% circumstance bonus. If she has a Led Zeppellin "Zoso" glyph just above her ass, he doesn't need to roll. Automatic, baby.
* Never sold out; was into the Dark Cult of the Prince of Lies before it became all about the commercial endorsements and MTV appearances. For Sharky, it's still about the Satanism, man.
* Briefly served as a roadie for GWAR, until he "freaked them out too much."
* Although is nickname is "The Impaler," he has a less threatening name for his penis, which he calls "Mr. Polite, the Perfect Little Gentleman."
* Surprisingly, his all-time favorite show is Major Dad.
* Once a man tried to cut in line as he was getting a funnel-cake at Busch Gardens. There were no survivors.
* Only known man to use the sentence "It puts the lotion on its skin" without a hint of irony.
Posted by: Lapsed Leftist at January 31, 2006 08:13 AM (sCtph)
Posted by: Feisty at January 31, 2006 08:15 AM (kEpKa)
Posted by: Hubris at January 31, 2006 08:21 AM (PwC+V)
Posted by: Iblis at January 31, 2006 08:22 AM (9221z)
Posted by: Retired Geezer at January 31, 2006 08:26 AM (b8LOf)
Posted by: Hubris at January 31, 2006 08:28 AM (PwC+V)
Posted by: leoncaruthers at January 31, 2006 08:30 AM (7iTO9)
Posted by: wiserbud at January 31, 2006 08:36 AM (AQGeh)
Posted by: ace at January 31, 2006 08:40 AM (UxtY9)
Posted by: ace at January 31, 2006 08:53 AM (UxtY9)
Posted by: DeeDaGo at January 31, 2006 09:04 AM (ltBrI)
Posted by: compos mentis at January 31, 2006 09:04 AM (xHpUK)
Posted by: Feisty at January 31, 2006 09:05 AM (kEpKa)
Posted by: DeeDaGo at January 31, 2006 09:08 AM (ltBrI)
Posted by: Satan at January 31, 2006 09:12 AM (ltBrI)
Posted by: at January 31, 2006 09:33 AM (xHpUK)
Will be suing Washington State to have the Bestiality Law overturned on religious freedom grounds.
Posted by: Iblis at January 31, 2006 09:35 AM (9221z)
Posted by: Pixelflash at January 31, 2006 11:04 AM (O+1/6)
Posted by: John at January 31, 2006 11:22 AM (wg4FW)
Second most amazing fact - Jonathan Sharkey actually posed for that photo below.
And there could have been re-takes. And shots from different angles.
Alternate backgrounds, maybe?
Posted by: Khan (No, Not That One) at January 31, 2006 11:30 AM (5JwsD)
Posted by: Random Japanese Tourist at January 31, 2006 11:32 AM (5JwsD)
Posted by: Bill H at January 31, 2006 07:01 PM (Lvedx)
Posted by: spurwing plover at February 02, 2006 10:23 AM (QtdTZ)
Posted by: Indonesia Furniture Handicraft Wholesale Marketplace at August 24, 2010 08:23 PM (zf61z)
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