August 31, 2005
— Ace There's a monkey on the loose in Ohio:
The bulletin issued by police in the southwest Ohio town of Springdale describes the subject as two feet tall, weighing eight pounds, clad only in blue pants and prone to sleeping in trees.
Dillion, a circus monkey, fled into a nearby woods early on Monday after being frightened by a train whistle...
The ACLU immediately issued a press release slamming local authorities for engaging in "species profiling."
Thanks for Pussy Dave From Pussy Garfield Pussy Ridge for keeping up on the escaped-monkey news.
Link from KnownUnknowns, which also has something interesting. That picture of the subway flasher has only shown his face, usually, leading some to say, "Well, the picture doesn't prove anything."
But apparently that picture was cropped by most of the media, presumably for reasons of taste. KnownUnknowns has an uncropped original, showing the location of his right hand, which is definitely making some sort of move to, as Kenny Loggins so eloquently termed it, the Danger Zone.
Hey Now! Update: Someone pointed out that his hand isn't just suspiciously close to the Danger Zone. In fact, you can see his weiner.
Karol's picture is bigger and has a higher resolution, and yeahp, there's no mistaking what that is poking out of his zipper. It's either an erect penis or a bald duck with a bad case of varicose veins.
Not Karol's Picture: She linked to it, but it appears that's a flicker site owned by the quick chick who clicked the dick-pic.
Posted by: Soon on Daily Kos... at August 31, 2005 08:35 AM (Gi7oA)
He's really an advanced scout, probing for weaknesses in human law enforcement response systems.
Soon, we'll have our stinking ape paws all over you, you damned dirty humans.
Posted by: Monkey Lincoln at August 31, 2005 08:56 AM (p0VwG)
But thanks for looking out for us rustics in flyover country anyway.
Posted by: Alex_fs at August 31, 2005 08:57 AM (PpBGs)
Posted by: Alex at August 31, 2005 09:18 AM (fgyj8)
Are you implying AoS is also tasteful?
Posted by: at August 31, 2005 09:22 AM (Ehvu2)
Not quite. It appears to be pointing straight up and is being pushed back with one of the fingers of his left hand. Looks like he was either letting it out or putting it back. And I can't believe I am going into so much detail about this guy's weener. I'll stop now.
Posted by: at August 31, 2005 09:27 AM (Ehvu2)
Ince$t, man. It's all f'ing ince$t.
Posted by: Dave at Garfield Ridge at August 31, 2005 09:27 AM (y1hCN)
Its obviously a Whizinator - he was just "practicing" for an upcoming "test".
Posted by: Tony at August 31, 2005 11:41 AM (dYcZw)
Posted by: Claire at August 31, 2005 02:15 PM (l1oyw)
No, that would make me an expert on spotty dorks. And possibly spotted dick as well, though that is something else entirely.
Anyway, what this guy had waving comically about in his lap wasn't terribly hard to notice - once one gets past the blurriness, it looks just like a penis, only somewhat smaller.
Posted by: Alex at August 31, 2005 05:59 PM (fgyj8)
Posted by: Anonymous at April 08, 2011 03:28 AM (zCWZM)
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