March 30, 2015

Blind People Are Seeing Again Thanks to Bionic Eyes, And It's Not Even a Story Any More
— Ace

This isn't entirely new, as people have been receiving bionic eyes for eight years. But only seven people received implants as of last October.

The technology is maturing, and more and more people are now getting the implants. It's becoming an everyday thing now -- news outfits are running stories about the newest blind man whose sight has been returned, but not big, huge stories.

The implant does not cure all forms of blindness, just those caused a by a specific syndrome. And the vision conferred is not very detailed; light and shapes only. Not even fine enough detail to make out the features of a human face.

But once you can do the basics of it, you can do the fine details of it.

The company making these implants is called Second Sight.

Second Sight Medical Products Inc. designs, makes and sells the Argus II Retinal Prosthesis System, which gives sight to the blind. And sales of the "bionic eye" are on the rise.

Argus II is a prosthetic retina for people with a disease called retinitis pigmentosa. The device looks like futuristic sunglasses paired with a small box, which contains the brains of the device -- a video processing unit.

A miniature video camera captures an image and then transmits that image to the video processing unit, which then sends it to electrodes implanted in a patient's retina using a surgical procedure.

Argus II does not restore normal vision. But it does allow the wearer to see light and shapes, sometimes for the first time in decades.

More than 100 patients have received the Argus II, with 15 systems implanted during the last three months of 2014, the most of any quarter. The earliest recipients have had the implants for nearly eight years.


One patient received his implants last October; there's the obligatory video of him seeing for the first time in over 30 years.

It seems like the stuff of science fiction. But for Larry Hester, this is an eye-opening change for the rest of his life.

[H]e's spent much of his adult life living in complete darkness -- but not anymore. On Oct. 1, Hester became the seventh person in the U.S. to receive an implantable Argus II Retinal Prosthesis Device, also known as the bionic eye. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved the device in February 2013 for people with rare, degenerative eye diseases.

...

"The light is so basic and probably wouldn't have significance for anybody else, but to me it's meaning I can see light and we can go from here," Hester said shortly after trying out his new glasses for the first time.

Heres' another video of him Freaking Out! (in a good way) upon seeing the outlines of his wife's face.

This People story talks about his trip to New York City earlier this year, seeing the lights of Broadway.

Duluth pastor just got the implants (another video of him seeing for the first time in a decade), as has a Hawaiian woman, and a Minneapolis man too.

They just started implanting them in patients in Italy and France as well.

It's not cheap -- the device itself (and just the device) costs $144,000.

Kind of a happy story. I imagine if you're not blind at the moment, you probably won't have to worry about ever actually going blind. Seems like this is on the way to the "cured" state.

Posted by: Ace at 12:13 PM | Comments (243)
Post contains 604 words, total size 4 kb.

1 First! *rattles quills*

Posted by: lurkingestlurker-Giant Plush Porcupine at March 30, 2015 12:14 PM (k8xvx)

2 Feeling shaded and...boxed in.

Posted by: @JohnTant at March 30, 2015 12:14 PM (CVTpV)

3 Barack Obama is a SCOAMT.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at March 30, 2015 12:15 PM (kff5f)

4 Burn it down. Scatter the stones. Salt the earth where it stood.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at March 30, 2015 12:15 PM (kff5f)

5

1. This story is awesome! As Instapundit might say "Faster, please"

2. I feel strangely grey and restrained, and I hate "50 Shades of Grey".

Posted by: lurkingestlurker-Giant Plush Porcupine at March 30, 2015 12:15 PM (k8xvx)

6 I could fix an emboldening, or an invasion by the Italicans, but the quote-box is beyond what Pixy will allow me to fix.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at March 30, 2015 12:16 PM (kff5f)

7 Well duh.

Posted by: Geordi LaForge at March 30, 2015 12:16 PM (z/Ubi)

8 I seem to recall some blind people getting upset at this or some other cure that would work on their blind child a few years back. Can't find the story on a quick search though. Long story short: they thought it was prejudiced to call them disabled, and a cure was the tool of the Man. Humanity wept.

Posted by: krakatoa at March 30, 2015 12:16 PM (eCtnP)

9 Oh no! My eyes have gone all funny on this page! GREY EVERYWHERE!

Posted by: [/i][/b]andycanuck[/s][/u] at March 30, 2015 12:16 PM (kivUY)

10 We are on the verge of so many great discoveries. I hope the forces of darkness don't pull us back down.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at March 30, 2015 12:17 PM (l3vZN)

11 The human brain is an amazing thing. Feed some kind of input into the vision parts and the brain will make some sense out of it.

Posted by: toby928(C) at March 30, 2015 12:17 PM (evdj2)

12 I imagine if you're not blind at the moment, you probably won't have to worry about ever actually going blind.

Well, glaucoma is still a thing.  But this is a pretty cool story.

Posted by: HR braucht ein Bier at March 30, 2015 12:17 PM (/kI1Q)

13 I think it's shit-for-brains radical deaf activists who are against curing (congenital?) hearing loss not blind types being against restoring sight.

Posted by: [/i][/b]andycanuck[/s][/u] at March 30, 2015 12:18 PM (kivUY)

14 There's got to be nothing better in the world than being a doctor that put something like that in and then seeing a patient react to the result.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at March 30, 2015 12:18 PM (oFCZn)

15 Not bad for three pounds of fat.

Posted by: toby928(C) at March 30, 2015 12:18 PM (evdj2)

16 8 I seem to recall some blind people getting upset at this or some other cure that would work on their blind child a few years back. Can't find the story on a quick search though. Long story short: they thought it was prejudiced to call them disabled, and a cure was the tool of the Man. Humanity wept. Posted by: krakatoa at March 30, 2015 05:16 PM (eCtnP) I thought that was the deaf community that had some massive problem with technology that could allow people to hear.

Posted by: Buzzion at March 30, 2015 12:18 PM (z/Ubi)

17 And the vision conferred is not very detailed; light and shapes only. Not even fine enough detail to make out the features of a human face. Is the vision at least good enough to detect open HTML tags?

Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik at March 30, 2015 12:18 PM (l3LvV)

18 First words?  What the hell is THAT?

Posted by: huerfano at March 30, 2015 12:18 PM (bAGA/)

19 Do the eyes make the Six Million Dollar Man sound when they zoom in to look at something?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 30, 2015 12:19 PM (1Jaio)

20 "The company making these implants is called Second Sight." At some point, you have to say they've made enough money already. Derp!

Posted by: Vermin at March 30, 2015 12:20 PM (jD8e+)

21 This is cool. I don't know that I'd be so confident as to say "Once you can do the basics, you can do the fine details," though. We're talking about interacting with the human brain, and encoding data that the brain can then interpret based on how that brain stored images and so forth. That's a big murky area, because we don't generally have people available to stick probes in their brains and feed imagery directly into the visual cortex (or whatever- I only know about this from the programming side, I don't even pretend to know about the medical side). I don't believe this is the blind suddenly seeing pictures, and those pictures just being blocky, or grainy. I think it's more like they can perceive light and darkness- which will give them "shapes" all on its own (depending on how good the shading/contrast is).

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at March 30, 2015 12:20 PM (kff5f)

22 Feed some kind of input into the vision parts and the brain will make some sense out of it. Like trying to decipher the scrambled nudie channels on cable back in the day! Er, so I hear.

Posted by: I think that's a ... at March 30, 2015 12:20 PM (9Z8lH)

23 Lets hope these bionic eyes lack anything like Bluetooth or WiFi.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at March 30, 2015 12:20 PM (rSBBR)

24 I'm holding out for digital testicles.

Posted by: Former Bull Rider at March 30, 2015 12:21 PM (yn6XZ)

25 for an extra $10,000 doctors can implant a tiny speaker to make the dootendootendootendoo sound effect

Posted by: Soothsayer, Inc. -- The King Unwilling at March 30, 2015 12:21 PM (FRLeJ)

26 Remember, you don't see with your eyes, you see with your brain.

Posted by: toby928(C) at March 30, 2015 12:22 PM (evdj2)

27 Lets hope these bionic eyes lack anything like Bluetooth or WiFi. Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at March 30, 2015 05:20 PM (rSBBR) Cranial bombs. Quite a staple of the Cyberpunk genre.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at March 30, 2015 12:22 PM (kff5f)

28 Knowing my luck I'd get that device and the first hazy form to materialize would be Barack Obama. I'd rather be blind. And deaf.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at March 30, 2015 12:22 PM (oFCZn)

29 It's your feel-good story of the day!  Thanks, Ace!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at March 30, 2015 12:22 PM (so+oy)

30 How much for the cancer causing eye lasers? Asking for a friend.

Posted by: Mitt! at March 30, 2015 12:23 PM (yn6XZ)

31 There's got to be nothing better in the world than being a doctor that put something like that in and then seeing a patient react to the result. There is something special about these sort of things. Deaf baby getting hearing implant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTzTt1VnHRM

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at March 30, 2015 12:23 PM (0NdlF)

32 Lets hope these bionic eyes lack anything like Bluetooth or WiFi. Now that you mention it, once you go mecha-vision, the eyes *could* be remote. That could be useful.

Posted by: toby928(C) at March 30, 2015 12:23 PM (evdj2)

33 I think we are a good 20+ years away from any cure. Take the cochlear implants for deaf ppl. They still have major limitations. For example - you can't hear music. The range of frequencies they can send to the brain are in a narrow band of human speech. My understanding is you can still hear music you already know - your brain fills in the missing parts. But new music just sounds like static or noise.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at March 30, 2015 12:23 PM (ZPrif)

34 AllenG.  Or you banging the spouse and some hacker puts it all out on LiveLeak or Youtube.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at March 30, 2015 12:23 PM (rSBBR)

35 Is the vision at least good enough to detect open HTML tags? Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik at March 30, 2015 05:18 PM (l3LvV) ---- Early.Threadwinner.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 30, 2015 12:23 PM (NaV4z)

36 Soon, they'll have artificial ears that will allow women to listen for a change.

Posted by: Zap Rowsdower at March 30, 2015 12:23 PM (MMC8r)

37 why bionic eyes?? I thought they could do eye transplants now?

Posted by: Soothsayer, Inc. -- The King Unwilling at March 30, 2015 12:24 PM (FRLeJ)

38 Or you banging the spouse and some hacker puts it all out on LiveLeak or Youtube. True. But I was going all SciFi.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at March 30, 2015 12:24 PM (kff5f)

39 This is an age of miracles. The downside The same computer technology that allows us to help the blind to see can also be misused by people like the NSA, Russian FSB, etc. All in all, I'm glad we have the technology.

Posted by: rd at March 30, 2015 12:24 PM (Z9zbb)

40 >>There's got to be nothing better in the world than being a doctor that put something like that in and then seeing a patient react to the result. Collecting the $140 large would be a pretty special moment too.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 30, 2015 12:24 PM (g1DWB)

41 I believe this only works on the degenerative type of blindness. But I could be wrong. Pretty amazing though. I always wonder what the next 100 years will bring technology wise.

Posted by: Minnfidel at March 30, 2015 12:24 PM (qyGu1)

42 36 Soon, they'll have artificial ears that will allow women to listen for a change. Posted by: Zap Rowsdower at March Thunderous applause!

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 30, 2015 12:25 PM (oNvyP)

43 The current bionic stuff is still pretty kludgey, though getting better.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at March 30, 2015 12:25 PM (ZPrif)

44 Eyes are chumps.

Posted by: Daredevil at March 30, 2015 12:25 PM (yn6XZ)

45 Now that you mention it, once you go mecha-vision, the eyes *could* be remote. That could be useful. "Hey Hon, I don't feel like going to the store. Just grab my eyes and help me pick up the groceries, will ya?"

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at March 30, 2015 12:26 PM (0NdlF)

46 This couldn't be evidence of American exceptionalism? If it is, we need to strangle it in the crib.

Posted by: Super Creepy Eric Hoteham at March 30, 2015 12:26 PM (oDCMR)

47 If a Democrat wears these, will they see the light and become conservative? Jim Sunk New Dawn Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim[/i][/b][/u] at March 30, 2015 12:26 PM (RzZOc)

48 I always wonder what the next 100 years will bring technology wise. Posted by: Minnfidel at March 30, 2015 05:24 PM (qyGu1) ---- Fire. Lots and lots of fire.

Posted by: Iranian Mullahs at March 30, 2015 12:26 PM (NaV4z)

49

A miniature video camera captures an image and then transmits that image to the video processing unit, which then sends it to electrodes implanted in a patient's retina using a surgical procedure.

 

 

--------------------------------------------

 

 

I first read  that as, "electrodes implanted in a patient's rectum". 

Posted by: Soona at March 30, 2015 12:26 PM (/HX7u)

50 I'm holding out for digital testicles.

And I sure could use a new hoo ha.

Posted by: Sandra Flook at March 30, 2015 12:26 PM (Dwehj)

51 Posted by: Jim at March 30, 2015 05:26 PM (RzZOc) Some things even Medical Miracles can't accomplish.

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at March 30, 2015 12:27 PM (kff5f)

52 Eventually the NSA will demand that such eyes will stream everything within the person's field of vision to NSA headquarters. That way they can more effectively monitor what everyone is doing. They could have had a tran's eye view of the gatecrashers coming their way.

Posted by: Bruce Jenner at March 30, 2015 12:27 PM (xkSSa)

53 Why wasn't I paged?  Oh, that's right, I didn't get a bionic ear.

Posted by: Col. Steve Austin at March 30, 2015 12:27 PM (cL79m)

54 38 Or you banging the spouse and some hacker puts it all out on LiveLeak or Youtube. Yeah, like that's going to happen. The wife that is.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 30, 2015 12:27 PM (oNvyP)

55 These have been patented by Apple as iEyes.

Posted by: Zap Rowsdower at March 30, 2015 12:27 PM (MMC8r)

56 And I sure could use a new hoo ha. with tentacles.

Posted by: toby928(C) at March 30, 2015 12:27 PM (evdj2)

57 I first read that as, "electrodes implanted in a patient's rectum". Posted by: Soona at March 30, 2015 05:26 PM (/HX7u) Here boy, come closer so that I may see you better...

Posted by: bionic Harry Reid at March 30, 2015 12:27 PM (0Ew3K)

58 Do these eyes allow for commercials?

Posted by: Super Creepy Eric Hoteham at March 30, 2015 12:27 PM (oDCMR)

59 Free Beacon @FreeBeacon FLASH: On Eve of Possible Deal, Israel Shows Off Latest Sub http://goo.gl/qTAQW3 #IranTalks

Posted by: Costanza Defense at March 30, 2015 12:28 PM (ZPrif)

60 Posted by: krakatoa at March 30,2015 05:16 PM (eCtnP) Perhaps it was the *deaf* community you're thinking of? The cochlear (sp?) implant is treated like a tool of the devil by certain segments of that community.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 30, 2015 12:28 PM (GDulk)

61 Sounds like these bionic eyes are as good as the robots they build today -- capable of rudimentary function only. Kinda like the "self-driving" cars, too.

Posted by: Soothsayer, Inc. -- The King Unwilling at March 30, 2015 12:28 PM (FRLeJ)

62 willowed again

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/b][/u][/s] at March 30, 2015 12:28 PM (V+kmg)

63 Long story short: they thought it was prejudiced to call them disabled, and a cure was the tool of the Man. Humanity wept. Posted by: krakatoa at March 30, 2015 05:16 PM (eCtnP) I think it's called being "Blind with a capital B." Same as "Deaf with a capital D." Basically, the thing that makes you different from the rest of society becomes a huge part of your identity, makes you feel special. Take that identity away, what are you? I have ADD. I was taught to view it as a gift, not a curse. It has challenges but also tremendous blessings; I perceive the world differently and that's a good thing. if you told me I could take a pill tomorrow and be "cured" of my ADD and be "normal" like everyone else, would I do it? When I was younger I might have said yes, but now I'm not sure, I don't think I would. What is "normal" anyway? The Autism community also deals with this, many people get offended that the goal is to "cure" autism. When they feel like they are fine as they are, nothing to cure, and if society has a problem with them it is society that must adapt, not the other way around. In short: it's complicated.

Posted by: LizLem at March 30, 2015 12:28 PM (yRwC8)

64 I know AllenG  There is a Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex episode called Interceptor where the big reveal is the police department has literally bugged their officers and seeing everything the officers see.  And the police did this without any authorization.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at March 30, 2015 12:28 PM (rSBBR)

65 >>I believe this only works on the degenerative type of blindness.


Specifically, Retinitis Pigmentosa. An inherited degenerative disorder.

Posted by: Aviator at March 30, 2015 12:28 PM (sQzB6)

66 Do these eyes allow for commercials? Posted by: Super Creepy Eric Hoteham at March 30, 2015 05:27 PM (oDCMR) Blipverts transmitted directly to the brain.

Posted by: Max Headroom at March 30, 2015 12:28 PM (0Ew3K)

67 Are these bionic eyes like those X-ray glasses I ordered from the back of a comic book and still couldn't see through chicks' clothes?

Posted by: The Great White Snark at March 30, 2015 12:29 PM (LImiJ)

68 E-yes®

Posted by: toby928(C) at March 30, 2015 12:29 PM (evdj2)

69 I can't see.

Posted by: Frank Zappa's other earworm[/i][/b][/s] at March 30, 2015 12:29 PM (DL2i+)

70 But once you can do the basics of it, you can do the fine details of it. ***** Not necessarily true. The sheer number of nerve endings in the retina may impose a physical limit on the actual implant that cannot be overcome in order to gain more acuity. Time will tell the tale on this one.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at March 30, 2015 12:29 PM (NeFrd)

71 eYes® maybe

Posted by: toby928(C) at March 30, 2015 12:29 PM (evdj2)

72

"An epidemic is one of the few catastrophes that could set the world back drastically in the next few decades," Bill Gates warns in a essay he wrote for the March 18 edition ofThe New England Journal of Medicine.

 

================================================

 

An epidemic of Democrats.

Posted by: Bruce Jenner at March 30, 2015 12:29 PM (xkSSa)

73 And I sure could use a new hoo ha. Posted by: Sandra Flook at March 30, 2015 05:26 PM (Dwehj) Sandra Fluck in... GODZILLA VS. MECHAVAGOO

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at March 30, 2015 12:29 PM (oFCZn)

74 The self-driving cars are much, much farther along than the bionic eyes. It's almost a solved problem.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at March 30, 2015 12:29 PM (ZPrif)

75 This is awesome!

Does the blind community see blindness as a culture in the same way that the deaf community does?

Posted by: Lizzy[/i] at March 30, 2015 12:30 PM (TLTHv)

76 Great story.  Thanks for postimg.  I lost vision in one eye when I was a kid from Glaucoma.  I have no memory of vision in both eyes and have no concept what it would be like.   

Posted by: Benji Carver at March 30, 2015 12:30 PM (37prw)

77 32 Now that you mention it, once you go mecha-vision, the eyes *could* be remote. That could be useful. Posted by: toby928(C) at March 30, 2015 05:23 PM (evdj2) This technology has certainly assisted me with my human-on-human/Minbari hybrid research, yes.

Posted by: G'Kar at March 30, 2015 12:30 PM (l3LvV)

78 GODZILLA VS. MECHAVAGOO Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at March 30, 2015 05:29 PM (oFCZn) ---- Put me down for a fiver on the chick....

Posted by: fixerupper at March 30, 2015 12:30 PM (NaV4z)

79 Are these bionic eyes like those X-ray glasses I ordered from the back of a comic book and still couldn't see through chicks' clothes?

No, they're more like that little submarine that ran on baking soda.

Posted by: Uncle Busyhands at March 30, 2015 12:30 PM (Dwehj)

80 My rant aside, I think this is very, very cool science, and hope it can go on to greatly help people. But then again I have Sight Privilege what do I know.

Posted by: LizLem at March 30, 2015 12:31 PM (yRwC8)

81 The Autism community also deals with this, many people get offended that the goal is to "cure" autism. When they feel like they are fine as they are, nothing to cure, and if society has a problem with them it is society that must adapt, not the other way around. Yeah. No. If you're unable to care for yourself and depend on other people to keep you alive, every day, that's not an eccentricity, that's a problem. The quaint eccentrics are only a part of the spectrum, unfortunately.

Posted by: Zap Rowsdower at March 30, 2015 12:31 PM (MMC8r)

82 Gojira looks left.  He looks right.  Looks at MechaVaJayJay again.  And promptly jumps into the volcano.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at March 30, 2015 12:31 PM (rSBBR)

83 They'll probably never actually cure all blindness, and the cure will likely never be as good as ordinary sight, but they're on the way to reversing a lot of the kinds of blindness people suffer from, and that's wonderful.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at March 30, 2015 12:31 PM (39g3+)

84 My almost totally deaf nephew is about to get a Cochlear implant...

Posted by: BB Wolf at March 30, 2015 12:31 PM (qh617)

85 I first read that as, "electrodes implanted in a patient's rectum". Posted by: Soona at March 30, 2015 05:26 PM (/HX7u) ------ No. That's for the sheep to stimulate ejaculation. Also rumored to be used by cross-dressing gate runners.

Posted by: RioBravo at March 30, 2015 12:31 PM (NUqwG)

86 Posted by: Lizzy at March 30, 2015 05:30 PM (TLTHv) Yep.

Posted by: LizLem at March 30, 2015 12:31 PM (yRwC8)

87 Sorry, not covered by Obamacare. We've used up all available funds on gender reassignment treatment.

Posted by: HHS at March 30, 2015 12:31 PM (TLTHv)

88 Now why did I automatically think of the Bene Tleilax when I came across this post?

Posted by: Lord of the Fleas at March 30, 2015 12:32 PM (wxsNo)

89 Does the blind community see blindness as a culture in the same way that the deaf community does? Posted by: Lizzy at March 30, 2015 05:30 PM (TLTHv) ----- I not sure the blind community sees much of anything..... .... but I bet they make better listeners.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 30, 2015 12:32 PM (NaV4z)

90 But new music just sounds like static or noise. ***** My granddad said exactly the same thing when the Beatles first came along.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at March 30, 2015 12:32 PM (NeFrd)

91 The problem with bio-hacking is we still don't know how the body works. Occasionally we stumble on a drug or surgical procedure that works wonders, but it's depressingly un-systematic. With electrical engineering we build everything from scratch so once humanity figures something out it can usually scale up. Not true with bio stuff.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at March 30, 2015 12:32 PM (ZPrif)

92 This is good new for Harry Reid, just in case his mob constituency decides to knock him upside the other elastic exercise band.

Posted by: Fritz at March 30, 2015 12:32 PM (UzPAd)

93 >>If you're unable to care for yourself and depend on other people to keep you alive, every day, that's not an eccentricity, that's a problem Or you can be Vice President.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 30, 2015 12:33 PM (g1DWB)

94 >>Yep.

So is there similar pressure against this operation akin to cochlear implants?

Posted by: HHS at March 30, 2015 12:33 PM (TLTHv)

95 This story is good news!

Posted by: Harry Reid at March 30, 2015 12:33 PM (sQzB6)

96 Hairy Reed of the Pervy Electric Eyes?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at March 30, 2015 12:33 PM (rSBBR)

97 61 Sounds like these bionic eyes are as good as the robots they build today -- capable of rudimentary function only. Kinda like the "self-driving" cars, too. Posted by: Soothsayer, Inc. -- The So that's what's wrong with that Congress-critter Holmes

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at March 30, 2015 12:33 PM (oNvyP)

98 Now why did I automatically think of the Bene Tleilax when I came across this post? Posted by: Lord of the Fleas at March 30, 2015 05:32 PM (wxsNo) *shrugs*

Posted by: Duncan Idaho № 54 at March 30, 2015 12:33 PM (0Ew3K)

99 First cochlear implant was 1976. 40 years ago. And they still are far from perfected. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cochlear_implant Bio-engineering is depressingly slow.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at March 30, 2015 12:34 PM (ZPrif)

100 There is no way whatsoever a self-driving car could practically function in heavy traffic. The kind of traffic I suffer every day is stop-and-go, people switching lanes, lots of sudden stops, etc., not to mention the bicyclists.

Posted by: Soothsayer, Inc. -- The King Unwilling at March 30, 2015 12:34 PM (FRLeJ)

101 Such a waste of money. Why don't you just trick them into euthanasia... or just kill 'em and pretend they agreed to it?

Posted by: European Doctors at March 30, 2015 12:34 PM (0Ew3K)

102 Where's the obligatory video of him seeing his wife naked for the first time in over 30 years? Might not be so excited?

Posted by: wth at March 30, 2015 12:34 PM (wAQA5)

103 This is awesome!

Does the blind community see blindness as a culture in the same way that the deaf community does?

Posted by: Lizzy at March 30, 2015 05:30 PM (TLTHv)

 

 

Gar fush yorshelf!

Posted by: Marly Matlin at March 30, 2015 12:34 PM (/HX7u)

104 post___. Heh. When typos *really* strike. Pretty sure that was supposed to be "posting" not "posti m g"

Posted by: AllenG (DedicatedTenther) - TrueCon at March 30, 2015 12:35 PM (kff5f)

105 There is no way whatsoever a self-driving car could practically function in heavy traffic. -- They can do that pretty easy. They have.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at March 30, 2015 12:35 PM (ZPrif)

106 41 Pretty amazing though. I always wonder what the next 100 years will bring technology wise. Posted by: Minnfidel at March 30, 2015 05:24 PM (qyGu1) http://bit.ly/1EWhtL1 We Ain't gonna make it.

Posted by: Golfman at March 30, 2015 12:35 PM (48QDY)

107 This is good new for Harry Reid, just in case his mob constituency decides to knock him upside the other elastic exercise band. Posted by: Fritz at March 30, 2015 05:32 PM We can only hope.

Posted by: Minnfidel at March 30, 2015 12:35 PM (qyGu1)

108 Remember, you don't see with your eyes, you see with your brain. Posted by: toby928(C) at March 30, 2015 05:22 PM

When I was a mere yoot, a batshit-crazy eye doctor told my parents I would be blind at a fairly young age. (P.S. Didn't happen.)

Naturally, that heightened my interest in the subject, and over the years I've talked to a few eye docs. They believed -- correctly, I think -- that little or nothing would be possible to give sight to those blind from birth. Their brains never learned to process any kind of visual signals, and were unlikely to be trainable to do so.

Posted by: MrScribbler[/i] at March 30, 2015 12:36 PM (P8YHq)

109 As with hearing loss there is a difference between blind from birth and acquired blindness. The cerebral cortex never gets conditioned to interpret the incoming signals from the retina if you are blind from birth. If you don't have visual input during early childhood (period of critical brain development) the brain probably lacks the ability to "learn" how to interpret those newly received signals. It doesn't matter what the retina is doing if the brain can't interpret it.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at March 30, 2015 12:37 PM (NeFrd)

110 Bio-engineering is depressingly slow. Posted by: Costanza Defense at March 30, 2015 05:34 PM (ZPrif) ---- Not to get all preachy..... but one of my arguments in favor of a creator. Man.... for all his superior intellect, cant replicate what nature did supposedly by chance and random mutation.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 30, 2015 12:37 PM (NaV4z)

111 Or you banging the spouse and some hacker puts it all out on LiveLeak or Youtube. True. But I was going all SciFi. Pr0n is where the $$$ is at.

Posted by: rickb223 [/s][/b][/i] at March 30, 2015 12:38 PM (t43dZ)

112 If I ever need bionic eyes I want them adjusted to where every female looks like Heather Graham.

Posted by: Cruzinator at March 30, 2015 12:39 PM (sIhFA)

113 Are they a green company?  I totally only support environmentally sound and sustainable technological miracles.

Posted by: Advo at March 30, 2015 12:39 PM (7vbG1)

114 So is there similar pressure against this operation akin to cochlear implants? Posted by: HHS at March 30, 2015 05:33 PM (TLTHv) Not being a member of the deaf community, but connected to people who are, my guess would be that if you are "Deaf with a captital D" you would see any attempt to "correct" your hearing as a cop out. But those not as militant see modern devices as a blessing. I think the really militant ones are a small but "vocal", so to speak, subset of the deaf community. LOL it is hard to not use terms describing speech while typing this, I am just realizing. Again, my hearing privilege is showing!

Posted by: LizLem at March 30, 2015 12:40 PM (yRwC8)

115 Gaylord would probably pay to get bionic eyes that anyone can connect to via the Internet for a small nominal monthly fee of $50.  He is narcissistic enough to think how cool it would be for people to do that.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at March 30, 2015 12:40 PM (rSBBR)

116 Hairy Reed of the Pervy Electric Eyes? - Anybody remember the ending of The Man With fhe X-Ray Eyes. Well, Hairy's seen a lot of evil so . . . .

Posted by: The Great White Snark at March 30, 2015 12:40 PM (LImiJ)

117 If I ever need bionic eyes I want them adjusted to where every female looks like Heather Graham. Until your buddies tell you that you've been doing Helen Thomas.

Posted by: rickb223 [/s][/b][/i] at March 30, 2015 12:40 PM (t43dZ)

118 The big issue for self-driving cars now is what to do in deliberate sabotage, as will probably happen. You can stand in front of one and hit it with a sledgehammer and it will just sit there. They can handle bicycles, cars darting in and out. Pretty much everything in normal traffic. I'm not sure if they can operate currently when the lights fail and a traffic cop is directing. Which is a big limitation. There are current situations where I think it would just freeze up. Of course, for the first decade or two of robo-cars, we'll have humans behind the wheel to take over in those 1% of situations when things are too confusing.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at March 30, 2015 12:40 PM (ZPrif)

119 Anyone else read the article and think that the device should look like the air filter from a 1980s Pontiac?

Posted by: Levar Burton at March 30, 2015 12:41 PM (+sA7q)

120 Sorry, not covered.

Posted by: ObamaCare at March 30, 2015 12:41 PM (wAQA5)

121 I can't wait until we have self-driving Hoverrounds.

Posted by: Hillary C. at March 30, 2015 12:42 PM (NeFrd)

122 Sorry, not covered. Posted by: ObamaCare at March 30, 2015 05:41 PM (wAQA5) There is an alternative...

Posted by: Action T-4 at March 30, 2015 12:42 PM (0Ew3K)

123 Gaylord would probably pay to get bionic eyes that anyone can connect to via the Internet for a small nominal monthly fee of $50. He is narcissistic enough to think how cool it would be for people to do that. ---- yup.... and he'd sleep with Michelle one.last.time . . . out of spite.

Posted by: fixerupper at March 30, 2015 12:42 PM (NaV4z)

124

As long as you all remember to praise me when you finally see, I'm good with it.

 

And if not, the dogs need to be fed.

Posted by: Kim Jong-Un at March 30, 2015 12:43 PM (cL79m)

125 I can't really comment based on only one example I know of.  But I do know one of those Deaf people who put a capital D on the thing and it defines them.  How does it define them?  They got upset because Japanese anime DVDs here in the US did not have a separate track for the hearing impaired.  The same DVDs that had the option for English subtitles.

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at March 30, 2015 12:43 PM (rSBBR)

126 88, Great, now I have a hankering for Slig.

Posted by: Ghola Duncan Idaho at March 30, 2015 12:44 PM (+sA7q)

127 If I ever need bionic eyes I want them adjusted to where every female looks like Heather Graham. **** Just do like every other Moron, close your eyes and conjure.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at March 30, 2015 12:44 PM (NeFrd)

128 Amazing Grace...

Posted by: Minnfidel at March 30, 2015 12:44 PM (qyGu1)

129 Of course, for the first decade or two of robo- cars, we'll have humans behind the wheel to take over in those 1% of situations when things are too confusing. How in a Google car with no driver controls?

Posted by: rickb223 [/s][/b][/i] at March 30, 2015 12:44 PM (t43dZ)

130 And she'll tease you She'll unease you All the better just to please you She's precocious and she knows just What it takes to make a pro blush She got Greta Garbo stand off sighs She's got Bette Davis eyes

Posted by: MikeH at March 30, 2015 12:44 PM (/2E+M)

131

I'm afraid this latest technology would not help our current POTUS; they are blind by choice.

Posted by: Beorn at March 30, 2015 12:44 PM (dGF4J)

132 >>They got upset because Japanese anime DVDs here in the US did not have a separate track for the hearing impaired. Just tell 'em to crank up the volume.

Posted by: Garrett Morris at March 30, 2015 12:44 PM (g1DWB)

133 Eldest Kidlet took ASL at the public school last year after studying Exact Sign privately for a year. The ASL deaf community is nuts. She did her research project on Thomas Edison and when she mentioned that he was friends with Alexander Graham Bell ( the boogey man of ASL) the teacher came close to *demanding* she recant. There is a push to be classified as a race which means that tech like cochlear implants is viewed as honest-to-G*d *attempted genocide*. It's very messed up.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 30, 2015 12:45 PM (GDulk)

134 Killjoys...

Posted by: Basil II Bulgarslayer at March 30, 2015 12:45 PM (0Ew3K)

135 We can rebuild him! We have the technology! Now I want cybereyes with a SmartLink to my firearms, like in Shadowrun.

Posted by: Insomniac at March 30, 2015 12:45 PM (2Ojst)

136 In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.

Posted by: Desiderius Erasmus at March 30, 2015 12:45 PM (/2E+M)

137 Are they a green company? I totally only support environmentally sound and sustainable technological miracles. They include solar panels permanently affixed to the user's head. It's a win-win!

Posted by: Henry Chu, Nobel Laureate at March 30, 2015 12:46 PM (8ZskC)

138 Insomniac or a popcorn gun skull-planted with built in targeting software?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at March 30, 2015 12:46 PM (rSBBR)

139 Can someone explain to me why hearing aids have not dropped in price? It seems to me the argument is that audio processing is computationally expensive, and that fitting a small unit into a hearing aid is what drives the price. My response to that is why not have a bigger unit on your person that interacts with the hearing aid over Bluetooth? It wouldn't have to be huge. A matchbox would give you 30x the space. Then the hearing aid would just have to be a transmitter, speaker, and battery. Audio processing is pretty much a solved problem. I know there's always more, but we're at a very high "good enough" stage now. So that part shouldn't be that costly. I just don't get why they're not $200 instead of $2500.

Posted by: bonhomme at March 30, 2015 12:46 PM (jhqr1)

140

We can rebuild him! We have the technology!

 

Now I want cybereyes with a SmartLink to my firearms, like in Shadowrun. 

 

Posted by: Insomniac at March 30, 2015 05:45 PM (2Ojst)

 

Where's my killer eye-laser from the book?

Posted by: Col. Steve Austin at March 30, 2015 12:47 PM (cL79m)

141 Loving parents with Bionic Eye in gift wrap: Son, we got you a surprise for your birthday... One-eyed Son: Not another effin' monocle!

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at March 30, 2015 12:47 PM (NeFrd)

142 So the one-eyed son is Cy?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at March 30, 2015 12:48 PM (rSBBR)

143 132 >>They got upset because Japanese anime DVDs here in the US did not have a separate track for the hearing impaired. Just tell 'em to crank up the volume. Posted by: Garrett Morris at March 30, 2015 05:44 PM (g1DWB) It's not like you need to hear to understand what's going on. Violence, blood, blood, death, blood, rape, blood, violence, tentacle rape, more violence, blood, death, tentacle rape, big-eyed girl in sailor suit.

Posted by: Insomniac at March 30, 2015 12:48 PM (2Ojst)

144

Can someone explain to me why hearing aids have not dropped in price?

 

It seems to me the argument is that audio processing is computationally expensive, and that fitting a small unit into a hearing aid is what drives the price.

 

My response to that is why not have a bigger unit on your person that interacts with the hearing aid over Bluetooth? It wouldn't have to be huge. A matchbox would give you 30x the space. Then the hearing aid would just have to be a transmitter, speaker, and battery.

 

Audio processing is pretty much a solved problem. I know there's always more, but we're at a very high "good enough" stage now. So that part shouldn't be that costly.

 

I just don't get why they're not $200 instead of $2500.

 

Posted by: bonhomme at March 30, 2015 05:46 PM (jhqr1)

 

PlaceboCare medical device tax for the loss.

Posted by: steveegg at March 30, 2015 12:48 PM (cL79m)

145 Well this story gives me hope.  Now when can they invent a way to remove the hair from my palms. 

Posted by: Anthony Weiner at March 30, 2015 12:49 PM (PvZ8F)

146 It's not like you need to hear to understand what's going on. Violence, blood, blood, death, blood, rape, blood, violence, tentacle rape, more violence, blood, death, tentacle rape, big-eyed girl in sailor suit. Posted by: Insomniac at March 30, 2015 05:48 PM (2Ojst) Tentacle rape just isn't same without the sound effects

Posted by: MikeH at March 30, 2015 12:49 PM (/2E+M)

147 The implant does not cure all forms of blindness, just those caused a by a specific syndrome. And the vision conferred is not very detailed; light and shapes only. But how do the ads look?

Posted by: Google at March 30, 2015 12:49 PM (8ZskC)

148 Well this story gives me hope. Now when can they invent a way to remove the hair from my palms. No No.

Posted by: rickb223 [/s][/b][/i] at March 30, 2015 12:50 PM (t43dZ)

149 Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 30, 2015 05:45 PM (GDulk) That explains why you're so familiar with them. That is jaw-droppingly stupid. People who need true religion, I guess.

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at March 30, 2015 12:51 PM (0NdlF)

150 Bionic eyes They're watching you They see your every move

Posted by: JackStraw at March 30, 2015 12:51 PM (g1DWB)

151 I just don't get why they're not $200 instead of $2500.

Posted by: bonhomme at March 30, 2015 05:46 PM (jhqr1)

PlaceboCare medical device tax for the loss.

Posted by: steveegg at March 30, 2015 05:48 PM (cL79m)

..................................................

Installation will be extra.

Posted by: ObamaCare at March 30, 2015 12:51 PM (wAQA5)

152 I just don't get why they're not $200 instead of $2500. Posted by: bonhomme at March 30, 2015 05:46 PM (jhqr1) Volume of units sold

Posted by: MikeH at March 30, 2015 12:52 PM (/2E+M)

153 Ace Thanks for this post. I know with all the upsetting and distressing news, I'm sure it's hard to find these stories but I encourage you to do so. Either that or do some movie reviews or just funny videos. I can't but think it must be depressing for you to have to blog on the regular news all the time. A nice site that has this sort of thing is "Good New Network" or something like that. No, it's not a religious site. It seems to have a liberal slant but there's also heartwarming sorts of stories there too.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 30, 2015 12:52 PM (DXzRD)

154 There is no way whatsoever a self-driving car could practically function in heavy traffic. -- They can do that pretty easy. They have. The Google car's project leader has said that they're about 90% there. The problem is the remaining 10% is ungodly in difficulty. Even in comparison to the amazing job they've done so far. The car drives in all sorts of conditions now, but it still has problems that need human interaction.

Posted by: bonhomme at March 30, 2015 12:52 PM (jhqr1)

155 But how do the ads look? Posted by: Google Dude, we're already beaming them directly to their skulls.

Posted by: Google Researcher [/i][/b] at March 30, 2015 12:52 PM (JBzwC)

156

Installation will be extra.

 

Posted by: ObamaCare at March 30, 2015 05:51 PM (wAQA5)

 

Just pay separate shipping and handling.

Posted by: steveegg at March 30, 2015 12:53 PM (cL79m)

157 I always wonder what the next 100 years will bring technology wise. Posted by: Minnfidel at March 30, 2015 05:24 PM (qyGu1) Sex cyborgs. Like in Futurama, once they master an AI sexbot that looks like whatever you want (which of course is a 24 year old Salma Hayek) then all global progress grinds to a halt.

Posted by: wooga at March 30, 2015 12:53 PM (AO98W)

158 The Google car's project leader has said that they're about 90% there. The problem is the remaining 10% is ungodly in difficulty. Even in comparison to the amazing job they've done so far. The last 10% is 90% of the work. The car drives in all sorts of conditions now, but it still has problems that need human interaction. Read: Liability issues.

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at March 30, 2015 12:53 PM (0NdlF)

159 Sex cyborgs. Like in Futurama, once they master an AI sexbot that looks like whatever you want (which of course is a 24 year old Salma Hayek) then all global progress grinds to a halt. Posted by: wooga at March 30, 2015 05:53 PM (AO98W) and that's a bad thing?

Posted by: MikeH at March 30, 2015 12:54 PM (/2E+M)

160 >>The car drives in all sorts of conditions now, but it still has problems that need human interaction. Seeing as how 99% of all gas stations are now self-serve, yea I can see a few problems.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 30, 2015 12:54 PM (g1DWB)

161 Installation will be extra. Posted by: ObamaCare at March 30, 2015 05:51 PM (wAQA5) Just pay separate shipping and handling. Posted by: steveegg at March 30, 2015 05:53 PM (cL79m) But wait! There's more!

Posted by: rickb223 [/s][/b][/i] at March 30, 2015 12:54 PM (t43dZ)

162

Read: Liability issues.

 

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at March 30, 2015 05:53 PM (0NdlF)

 

Not for us - we've got the grease to overpower even the lawyers.

Posted by: Google's lobbyists at March 30, 2015 12:54 PM (cL79m)

163 Ads beamed directly to your brain via your WiFi neural implant from Google who owns the implant you are renting - "Have your choice of Sexaroid.  Try the new Cherry 2000.  Or the old sweater puppy standby Jenn Psaki.  Perhaps more bounce is what you want, well then there is always the Kate Upton model."

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at March 30, 2015 12:55 PM (rSBBR)

164 Posted by: Google's lobbyists at March 30, 2015 05:54 PM (cL79m) Nice of you to drop the pretense at "Don't be Evil." Heh, who am I kidding?

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at March 30, 2015 12:55 PM (0NdlF)

165 The car drives in all sorts of conditions now, but it still has problems that need human interaction. Seeing as how 99% of all gas stations are now self-serve, yea I can see a few problems. And not too many cops are gonna write the ticket out to "Edselbot".

Posted by: rickb223 [/s][/b][/i] at March 30, 2015 12:56 PM (t43dZ)

166 Posted by: ConservativeMonster at March 30, 2015 05:51 PM (0NdlF) A young woman in my sister's small group at church is an audiology tech. The militant ASL wing treats them as agents of "The Man" and proof that the government is out to destroy The Deaf. They are a *very* well developed grievance group with all the paranoia and groupthink that so often entails. So I *really* hope there isn't a corresponding group among the blind because the amount of damage they can do to those they claim as their own is astounding and disgusting.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 30, 2015 12:56 PM (GDulk)

167

Ads beamed directly to your brain via your WiFi neural implant from Google who owns the implant you are renting - "Have your choice of Sexaroid. Try the new Cherry 2000. Or the old sweater puppy standby Jenn Psaki. Perhaps more bounce is what you want, well then there is always the Kate Upton model."

 

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at March 30, 2015 05:55 PM (rSBBR)

 

You wanted Kate Upton.

You'd settle for Jen Psaki

You'll get Zombie Helen Thomas.

Posted by: Google Sex Implant Service at March 30, 2015 12:57 PM (cL79m)

168 Seeing as how 99% of all gas stations are now self-serve, yea I can see a few problems. I think you're forgetting New Jersey and Oregon. It's a common problem.

Posted by: bonhomme at March 30, 2015 12:57 PM (jhqr1)

169

Nice of you to drop the pretense at "Don't be Evil."

 

Heh, who am I kidding?

 

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at March 30, 2015 05:55 PM (0NdlF)

 

It's always been "Don't be Evil".  We just have always defined Evil as Conservative.

Posted by: Google at March 30, 2015 12:58 PM (cL79m)

170 Polliwog'ette, is your militant ASL crowd as pro-Gaylordcare as my example is?

Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at March 30, 2015 12:58 PM (rSBBR)

171 168 Seeing as how 99% of all gas stations are now self-serve, yea I can see a few problems. I think you're forgetting New Jersey and Oregon. It's a common problem. Posted by: bonhomme at March 30, 2015 05:57 PM (jhqr1) Electric

Posted by: MikeH at March 30, 2015 12:58 PM (/2E+M)

172 What, no metallic marble eyeballs like the Tleilaxu make?

That's what I'd want. I'm always losing my glasses and I'm not blind!!

(dirty Tleilaxu)

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at March 30, 2015 12:59 PM (zRby/)

173 I'd like to have a functioning but removable eyeball that I could use for looking around corners.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at March 30, 2015 01:00 PM (NeFrd)

174 Ads beamed directly to your brain via your WiFi neural implant from Google who owns the implant you are renting - "Have your choice of Sexaroid. Try the new Cherry 2000. Or the old sweater puppy standby Jenn Psaki. Perhaps more bounce is what you want, well then there is always the Kate Upton model." When the SJWs took over to force "body equality" in advertisement (think Dunham), many eyes were gouged and ears poked out. Some resorted to digging their brain matter out with the closest sharp implement. Those lacking the physical strength to manually destroy themselves resorted to holding their breath until they asphyxiated. Society never recovered.

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at March 30, 2015 01:01 PM (0NdlF)

175 Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at March 30, 2015 06:00 PM (NeFrd)

Okay. You win.

(that was funny)

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at March 30, 2015 01:01 PM (zRby/)

176 Oh no, I ain't changin' the goldamn tire! Not so f*ckin' smart now are we?!

Posted by: guy yelling at his Google car at March 30, 2015 01:01 PM (wAQA5)

177 OT: Surprise! Hyper-leftist Jon Stewart to be replaced by hyper-leftist Trevor Noah (from Warm Flattus; why did I click over there why why why)

Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik at March 30, 2015 01:01 PM (l3LvV)

178 >>I think you're forgetting New Jersey and Oregon. Can't speak to Oregon but I just drove down the east coast and back again and stopped both times for gas in NJ and both times it was self-serve.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 30, 2015 01:01 PM (g1DWB)

179 (dirty Tleilaxu) Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at March 30, 2015 05:59 PM (zRby/) wanna wind up as an axlotl tank?

Posted by: Bene Tleilaxu at March 30, 2015 01:02 PM (/2E+M)

180 So, how long before we can get x-ray vision implants??? I wd see xray glasses advertised on the back of comics. When my friend ordered them, they didnt work.

Posted by: Bruce J. at March 30, 2015 01:02 PM (iQIUe)

181 Just need a palm depilatory, and this group will be right as rain.

Posted by: Bob's House of Flannel Shirts and Wallet Chains at March 30, 2015 01:02 PM (vgIRn)

182 Will the blind start to behave like the deaf now and treat those who get implants as traitors? Now I know not all deaf people do this, but anyone who has spent any time in an ASL class has seen that there is definitely a militant strain in the "deaf culture."

Posted by: PBJ5959 at March 30, 2015 01:02 PM (r1du+)

183 I thought that was the deaf community that had some massive problem with technology that could allow people to hear. Posted by: Buzzion at March 30, 2015 05:18 PM (z/Ubi) Meh... Deaf, blind... they all look the same to me.

Posted by: krakatoa at March 30, 2015 01:03 PM (eCtnP)

184 I'd like to have a functioning but removable eyeball that I could use for looking around corners. Posted by: Muldoon Rool 'em in to Victoria Secret shoots

Posted by: rickb223 [/s][/b][/i] at March 30, 2015 01:03 PM (t43dZ)

185 And every single one of the recipients is now driving on the freeways of L.A.

Posted by: Kate58 at March 30, 2015 01:06 PM (oLZsm)

186 This won't help me. My corneas were damaged in a laboratory accident -- a misdirected high velocity nucleic acid jet.

Posted by: Anthony Weiner at March 30, 2015 01:07 PM (yF1IM)

187 I'd like to have a functioning but removable eyeball that I could use for looking around corners. Posted by: Muldoon -------------------- Rool 'em in to Victoria Secret shoots Posted by: rickb223 at March 30, 2015 06:03 PM (t43dZ Blind Man Game. "Miss? Miss? Excuse me, my bionic eye fell out and rolled under your table. Could you help me find it?"

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at March 30, 2015 01:07 PM (0NdlF)

188 Posted by: JackStraw at March 30, 2015 06:01 PM (g1DWB)

Then you didn't get gas in New Jersey.

New Jersey has a LAW that you can't pump your own gas. (last I heard anyway).

It's okay because even with paying all those illegals to pump gas (and yes, a lot of them are hispanic looking [maybe arab?]) New Jersey has lower prices than rest of NE for gas until you get to PA.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at March 30, 2015 01:07 PM (zRby/)

189 @157 Sex cyborgs. Like in Futurama, once they master an AI sexbot that looks like whatever you want (which of course is a 24 year old Salma Hayek) then all global progress grinds to a halt. --------------------- Instapundit likes to post links about this sort of thing from time to time. He figures that it's only another decade or so until there's a "good enough to get by" sex bot on the market. And at that point, the majority of men will start ignoring the opposite sex.

Posted by: junior at March 30, 2015 01:08 PM (UWFpX)

190 Yes, this is nice, and all. But I am still waiting for those glasses I ordered from Mad Magazine in 1975 that can see through a chick's clothes. Until I receive those, I'm kinda "meh" on this sort of thing.

Posted by: Sharkman at March 30, 2015 01:08 PM (snccx)

191 OT: Surprise! Hyper-leftist Jon Stewart to be replaced by hyper-leftist Trevor Noah (from Warm Flattus; why did I click over there why why why) Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik at March 30, 2015 06:01 PM (l3LvV) Miss me yet?

Posted by: Craig Kilborn at March 30, 2015 01:10 PM (0Ew3K)

192 So I *really* hope there isn't a corresponding group among the blind because the amount of damage they can do to those they claim as their own is astounding and disgusting. The secret is to misdirect those into a room full of clapping seals.

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at March 30, 2015 01:10 PM (0NdlF)

193 >>> So I *really* hope there isn't a corresponding group among the blind because the amount of damage they can do to those they claim as their own is astounding and disgusting. Oh, there is. I went with a group of friends, two of them blind, to an amusement park. One was Blind with a Capital B, one was not. If you are blind you are allowed to cut in line, or you were at that time. Blind with a capital B girl EXCORIATED and guilt tripped her fellow blind compatriot for even considering using her blindness as an excuse to cut in line. If you are Blind, you do not like special favors or allowances because of your blindness, supposedly. She found it unacceptable, she waited in line with us just like everyone else. Interesting comparing that to the nannies that used disabled help to ride hop, hah. Guess those nannies were not militantly Disabled, or stopped being militantly disabled for gobs of money. BUT, I also visited Arlington Cemetary with this same Blind girl. I think I told this story before, but she wanted us to describe the Changing of the Guard to her, out loud, in detail. When of course it demands absolute silence. We refused, out of respect, she was in a snit fit with us the rest of the day. So I guess the rules for when you get special treatment and when you don't vary according to your whims, hah!

Posted by: LizLem at March 30, 2015 01:10 PM (yRwC8)

194 Posted by: Kate58 at March 30, 2015 06:06 PM (oLZsm)

During the jams, a dog could drive a car in LA. It's only when things get spread out does disaster lurk.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at March 30, 2015 01:11 PM (zRby/)

195 >>Then you didn't get gas in New Jersey. Yea, actually I did. Twice. Once was on the Jersey Turnpike and once was at a Waa Waas in southern Jersey somewhere. Surprised me to as I've been hearing for some time about the law but we did it twice.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 30, 2015 01:11 PM (g1DWB)

196 This technology has certainly assisted me with my human-on-human/Minbari hybrid research, yes. Posted by: G'Kar at March 30, 2015 05:30 PM (l3LvV) Doggone Narn peeper!

Posted by: John Sheridan at March 30, 2015 01:11 PM (W5DcG)

197 190 Yes, this is nice, and all. But I am still waiting for those glasses I ordered from Mad Magazine in 1975 that can see through a chick's clothes. Until I receive those, I'm kinda "meh" on this sort of thing. Posted by: Sharkman at March 30, 2015 06:08 PM (snccx) Stop by your local WalMart, and you might rethink that position.

Posted by: Bob's House of Flannel Shirts and Wallet Chains at March 30, 2015 01:12 PM (vgIRn)

198 "Miss? Miss? Excuse me, my bionic eye fell out and rolled under your table. Could you help me find it?" Jeepers, creepers, where'd I leave my peepers?

Posted by: Louis Armstrong at March 30, 2015 01:12 PM (8ZskC)

199 198 "Miss? Miss? Excuse me, my bionic eye fell out and rolled under your table. Could you help me find it?" Jeepers, creepers, where'd I leave my peepers? Posted by: Louis Armstrong at March 30, 2015 06:12 PM (8ZskC) Private Eyes They're watching you They see your every move Private Eyes They're watching you Private Eyes They're watching you Watching you Watching you Watching you

Posted by: Hall & Oates at March 30, 2015 01:14 PM (/2E+M)

200 Posted by: Anna Puma (+SmuD) at March 30, 2015 05:58 PM (rSBBR) Fortunately *I* was not interacting with these people myself, but I suspect that they are. AS with any grievance group, their goal is to get as big a cut of the federal pie as they can and any long term considerations are pretty thoroughly ignored.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 30, 2015 01:15 PM (GDulk)

201 I don't know about the robo-cars. The way some people don't keep up the maintenance on their vehicles...

Posted by: Noah Bawdy at March 30, 2015 01:15 PM (41+Ra)

202 OT: Surprise! Hyper-leftist Jon Stewart to be replaced by hyper-leftist Trevor Noah (from Warm Flattus; why did I click over there why why why) Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik at March 30, 2015 06:01 PM (l3LvV) Oooooooooh, they did not pick Jessica Williams for the slot! SJW's are gonna be ticked, even though Noah is also black, because patriarchy! Let's get ready to rumble... What is the opposite of jazz hands, for negative things? Booing is triggering I'm sure. And down twinkles just feels blase.

Posted by: LizLem at March 30, 2015 01:15 PM (yRwC8)

203 Can't speak to Oregon but I just drove down the east coast and back again and stopped both times for gas in NJ and both times it was self-serve. Interesting. That's been against the law since 1949: http://goo.gl/Yxasa5

Posted by: bonhomme at March 30, 2015 01:16 PM (jhqr1)

204 I don't know about the robo-cars. The way some people don't keep up the maintenance on their vehicles... Posted by: Noah Bawdy at March 30, 2015 06:15 PM (41+Ra) Welcome to Johnny Cab!

Posted by: Johnny Cab at March 30, 2015 01:16 PM (0Ew3K)

205 I just don't get why they're not $200 instead of $2500. -- It's mostly cause they are paid for by insurance, I think. If it was a normal market we'd have the iphone of hearing aids by now.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at March 30, 2015 01:17 PM (ZPrif)

206 (future Instructions for your New FemBot V-1000)

WARNING: under no circumstances should the grip clamp be tightened beyond factory setting.

Failure to adjust this properly can lead to immediate and irreversible Bobbitting on the first stroke.

Always make sure the lubrication reservoir is full and use a hypoallergenic non water based lubricant.

Failure to do so could result in painful Shaft Rash or skin debriding.

Make sure batteries are fully charged as it could be possible the unit would stop midway and the user be unable to extricate themselves.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at March 30, 2015 01:17 PM (zRby/)

207 Apropos of nothing, I would boycott Apple products, if I didn't already ignore Apple products.

Posted by: toby928(C) at March 30, 2015 01:17 PM (rwI+c)

208 Jeepers, creepers, where'd I leave my peepers? Posted by: Louis Armstrong at March 30, 2015 06:12 PM (8ZskC) When Irish Eyes are Smiling...

Posted by: Olcott at March 30, 2015 01:19 PM (yRwC8)

209 I just don't get why they're not $200 instead of $2500. -- It's mostly cause they are paid for by insurance, I think. That, and Medical Device. Heard a dentist complain that he needed to buy a 100s of K dollar medical grade oven instead of just using a plain oven. Because Rules.

Posted by: ConservativeMonster at March 30, 2015 01:19 PM (0NdlF)

210 I lost sight of my first wife. The last I heard she was a heavy weight cruiser in the Royal Navy, a real dockside attraction in Singapore!

Posted by: tbd at March 30, 2015 01:19 PM (NlH0k)

211

"Yea, actually I did. Twice. Once was on the Jersey Turnpike and once was at a Waa Waas in southern Jersey somewhere.

Surprised me to as I've been hearing for some time about the law but we did it twice."

Did you wait for an attendant or just start pumping yourself?  If you just started pumping yourself, the Albanian immigrant that usually works at those stations probably thought "to hell with it" and just let you go on. 

Posted by: Benji Carver at March 30, 2015 01:20 PM (OD2ni)

212 Elizabeth Warren built that.

Posted by: Mikey at March 30, 2015 01:20 PM (2f/TW)

213 If it was a normal market we'd have the iphone of hearing aids by now. Posted by: Costanza Defense at March 30, 2015 06:17 PM (ZPrif) iHear? No that's so gay. I denounce myself!

Posted by: Tim Cook at March 30, 2015 01:20 PM (yRwC8)

214 We will all be cyborgs soon. My hearing aids are not implants so I am not quite there yet.

Posted by: blaster at March 30, 2015 01:21 PM (1RmLL)

215 That, and Medical Device. Heard a dentist complain that he needed to buy a 100s of K dollar medical grade oven instead of just using a plain oven. Because Rules. Posted by: ConservativeMonster Is that break room coffee maker a medical grade coffee maker?

Posted by: IRS Medical Expert at March 30, 2015 01:21 PM (GuwT9)

216 Right, regs on medical devices are insane.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at March 30, 2015 01:21 PM (ZPrif)

217 >>Did you wait for an attendant or just start pumping yourself? If you just started pumping yourself, the Albanian immigrant that usually works at those stations probably thought "to hell with it"and just let you go on. Maybe that was it. At the station on the turnpike I did see one attendant but there were like a dozen pumps and nobody was waiting. At the Waa Waas, didn't see anyone and again, lots of pumps cause I95. That was my first Waa Waas sandwich experience. Not bad but it didn't blow my skirt up.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 30, 2015 01:22 PM (g1DWB)

218 Right, regs on medical devices are insane. -- I meant that as insanely complex and burdensome, not sarcastically.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at March 30, 2015 01:22 PM (ZPrif)

219 >>>So, how long before we can get x-ray vision implants???<<< Baby steps, dude. Let's focus next on getting rid of stink-eye caused by bitchy resting face syndrome.

Posted by: Fritz at March 30, 2015 01:23 PM (ty633)

220 Apropos of nothing, I would boycott Apple products, if I didn't already ignore Apple products. I'm platform agnostic. I've had Android, iPhone, WinPhone, and various non-smartphones. They all suck in their own ways. They're all awesome in their own ways. iPhone sucks because it takes forever to get basic functionality that everyone else has had forever. It took them forever to get freaking cut and paste. It took them forever to get WiFi calling. It took them forever to get NFC, and it's still locked to Apple Pay. Android sucks because of bad memory management. Really, I have to download some crapware app to keep my phone from filling up with threads of apps I haven't used in 10 hours? WinPhone sucks because of horrible app support. myfitnesspal was broken for nearly a year and they couldn't get off their butts to update the app. Lots of apps my friends love and rave about aren't available at all.

Posted by: bonhomme at March 30, 2015 01:24 PM (jhqr1)

221 Posted by: toby928(C) at March 30, 2015 06:17 PM (rwI+c)

I know!

Sometimes I wish I could afford/use/stand having these liberals' product so I could then boycott them.

It's frustrating to be prescient.

Quit Comcast so there goes a whole bunch of stuff I can't boycott because . . . I already AM.

Ditto Cable News shows. I don't eat out much, mostly McD's.

I'm pretty much living in a Fly Over Bubble these days.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at March 30, 2015 01:24 PM (zRby/)

222 Alternate post title: Blind People Are Seeing Again Thanks To obama /thread

Posted by: Soothsayer, Inc. -- The King Unwilling at March 30, 2015 01:25 PM (FRLeJ)

223 Baby steps, dude. Let's focus next on getting rid of stink-eye caused by bitchy resting face syndrome. Posted by: Fritz Test patient "M" is ready for you now doctor.

Posted by: Nurse Chapel at March 30, 2015 01:25 PM (GuwT9)

224 Heh -- This image is at the start of a National Journal article about Rahm Emmanuel.
 
http://tinyurl.com/q73dhyj
 
It seems someone thinks he is a dickhead.

Posted by: GnuBreed at March 30, 2015 01:25 PM (Zn2ap)

225 Posted by: bonhomme at March 30, 2015 06:24 PM (jhqr1) Miss us yet? *per-emtively sighs*

Posted by: Blackberry at March 30, 2015 01:25 PM (0Ew3K)

226 Whenever stories like these come out, the point to drive home is that it never would have happened under a socialist run health care system. This stuff is NEVER developed in England or Canada or any other country with govt run health care. It is virtually always in the US, where we have for profit health care. Well where we HAD for profit health care. Expect these miracle cures/inventions to stop in the very near future.

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at March 30, 2015 01:26 PM (0LHZx)

227 WinPhone sucks because of horrible app support. myfitnesspal was broken for nearly a year and they couldn't get off their butts to update the app. Lots of apps my friends love and rave about aren't available at all. Posted by: bonhomme at March 30, 2015 06:24 PM (jhqr1) Main reason I bailed on them for Android. That, and my hardware really sucked. Shouldn't blame LG's screw-up on Microsoft, but it didn't help endear me to Windows phones.

Posted by: Hawkins1701 at March 30, 2015 01:27 PM (/luV5)

228 Posted by: Mr. Magoo Magoo at March 30, 2015 06:26 PM (0LHZx) ***** Gave you a little tweak there, just in keeping with the theme of this post.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at March 30, 2015 01:28 PM (NeFrd)

229 The end of the Johnny Cab was just stupid. Arnie stiffs him the fair so the car blows its self up ? Then again the whole scene was stupid.

Posted by: Noah Bawdy at March 30, 2015 01:28 PM (41+Ra)

230 The missing Cal student who wondered off after attending a party at USC has been found dead. Very bizarre story. I wonder if he committed suicide. RIP, kid. Your family rushed down here immediately and started searching for you and must have really cared.

Posted by: Bruce J. at March 30, 2015 01:28 PM (iQIUe)

231 Gave you a little tweak there, just in keeping with the theme of this post. Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at March 30, 2015 06:28 PM (NeFrd) __________ Not sure I get it. What's Magoo?

Posted by: Mr. Moo Moo at March 30, 2015 01:29 PM (0LHZx)

232 Not sure I get it. What's Magoo? **** Old pop cultural reference, Mr. Magoo- ah hell, just Bing it.

Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at March 30, 2015 01:30 PM (NeFrd)

233 Main reason I bailed on them for Android. That, and my hardware really sucked. Shouldn't blame LG's screw-up on Microsoft, but it didn't help endear me to Windows phones. My Nokia 925 is pretty great hardware. But the apps! I have other droid complaints, but the memory management is enough for me to stay away for now.

Posted by: bonhomme at March 30, 2015 01:31 PM (jhqr1)

234 @232 Old pop cultural reference, Mr. Magoo- ah hell, just Bing it. ------------------- Didn't they make a live-action movie a while back? I'm thinking Leslie Nielson was in it, though I'm not sure about that.

Posted by: junior at March 30, 2015 01:31 PM (UWFpX)

235 >>> Whenever stories like these come out, the point to drive home is that it never would have happened under a socialist run health care system. This stuff is NEVER developed in England or Canada or any other country with govt run health care. It is virtually always in the US, where we have for profit health care. Well where we HAD for profit health care. Wot's all this then, you mean our opening ceremonies musical number tribute for the London Olympics, devoted to the wonders of the NHS, did NOT convince you it is the greatest medical system in the world?!? No tea and cake for you!!

Posted by: British govt officials, and Danny Boyle, Harrumping at March 30, 2015 01:32 PM (yRwC8)

236 Old pop cultural reference, Mr. Magoo- ah hell, just Bing it. Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at March 30, 2015 06:30 PM (NeFrd) Appropriately enough, he doesn't see what you're saying. :-)

Posted by: Hawkins1701 at March 30, 2015 01:32 PM (/luV5)

237 run Corgis, run.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at March 30, 2015 01:32 PM (zRby/)

238 Posted by: Muldoon, a solid man at March 30, 2015 06:30 PM (NeFrd)

It's why Steely Dan wrote "Hey Nineteen".

Can't do nothing about time frame.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That at March 30, 2015 01:34 PM (zRby/)

239 The old school live Nickeloedeon show Wiernerville showed almost nothing but Mr. Magoo cartoons in between the live segments. Even at the time, I found it a peculiar mash-up. Somebody at corporate figured out they had the rights to those cartoons, and damned if they didn't extract every last bit of mileage.

Posted by: Hawkins1701 at March 30, 2015 01:34 PM (/luV5)

240 Somebody at corporate figured out they had the rights to those cartoons, and damned if they didn't extract every last bit of mileage. See also the latest Michael Bay abortion: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Posted by: bonhomme at March 30, 2015 01:38 PM (jhqr1)

241 >>> See also the latest Michael Bay abortion: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. So true. Now never let us speak of that monstrosity again.

Posted by: LizLem at March 30, 2015 01:42 PM (yRwC8)

242 Bionics is over the moment they can grow eyeballs in a laboratory.

Posted by: RKae at March 30, 2015 01:46 PM (gy5EU)

243 My husband worked on a project similar to this for his master's thesis. When it comes to vision implants like this, he said the person who can make an implant show real-time color gets the Nobel Prize.

Posted by: Sarah G. at March 30, 2015 01:47 PM (MXMFQ)

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