November 26, 2010

Black Friday Shoppers Embarrass the Human Race Yet Again [Dan Cleary]
— Open Blogger

I think it's time for a slight revision to the Unofficial Hierarchy of Western Civilization. As of today, the bottom three slots are:

#5934. Costanza.
#5935. Alan Grayson.
#5936. Black Friday shoppers.

That's right - I paint them all with the same broad brush.


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Via Breitbart. Cross-posted.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 10:14 AM | Comments (39)
Post contains 66 words, total size 2 kb.

1 There has to be a better way!

Posted by: Frank Costanza at November 26, 2010 10:18 AM (7UeL+)

2 Never get in the way of a woman and shoes (I think its shoes - who knows?)

Shoppers gathered for a pre-dwan sale in Morristown apparently got into an argument that led to one woman's arrest

Pre-dwan?  Layers and layers of fact-checking and editing.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at November 26, 2010 10:19 AM (9hSKh)

3 I think I could have played with dolls.

Posted by: George Costanza at November 26, 2010 10:19 AM (7UeL+)

4 "Black"" Friday shoppers?


Posted by: Libtard Moron at November 26, 2010 10:21 AM (SHKl9)

5 I went to the Jerk Store for Black Friday.

Posted by: Delta Smelt channeling George Costanza at November 26, 2010 10:21 AM (AZWim)

6 We're doomed.

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at November 26, 2010 10:24 AM (vbh31)

7 We go through this every single year.  Put those airport scanners in the doorways and maybey the people will line up like good little sheep instead of an insane mob. Paging Big Sis! Think of it as a security issue. How do we know there isn't a non-muslim terrorist secrelty wishing to blow up hundreds of Americans hidden somewhere in that crowd. There is only one way to be sure.


Posted by: Don at November 26, 2010 10:26 AM (RiU19)

8 I checked best buy's website and they had some very cheap external drives that could be ordered online on Thursday. Now, they're sold out.

Posted by: Moi at November 26, 2010 10:29 AM (Ez4Ql)

9 6 We're doomed.

That we are.  In the end, there will be only chaos. 

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at November 26, 2010 10:31 AM (9hSKh)

10 I must now download 'Black Friday' by Steely Dan.

Lemons.  Batteries for lasers.

Posted by: AoSHQ's DarkLord© at November 26, 2010 10:32 AM (vkUBG)

11 It is worth missing any savings for me to not attend.

Posted by: fb at November 26, 2010 10:33 AM (G60Nl)


How can people be so deranged over "stuff"?

Posted by: madamex at November 26, 2010 10:36 AM (jChrK)

13 America's "Athlete-in-Chief" got an elbow in the mouth playing "hoops" today and got 12 stitches in his lip. They should have just sewn it shut.

Posted by: PoconoJoe at November 26, 2010 10:37 AM (whWV1)

14 For weeks Target has been running ads on TV about a woman "training" for Black Friday. Lifting weights, running, etc.... What do they think will happen? If I was that man with the back injury, I'd hire a lawyer and sue.

Posted by: Kasper Hauser at November 26, 2010 10:40 AM (PzF+K)

15 We could solve the whole al-Qaeda problem in a trice if the CIA simply announced that Osama Bin Laden has a supply of discount Squinkies. He'd be trampled to death within a week.

Posted by: Trimegistus at November 26, 2010 10:41 AM (vbWof)


This is one of the reasons the elite bathe smugly in their shallow superiority.  They never have to get down with the beasts and vie for scarce resources. 

There has to be a better way.


Posted by: Gem at November 26, 2010 10:41 AM (zw+pb)

17 Shit like this is what makes me think a 1918 style Flu epidemic wouldn't be such a bad thing.

Posted by: GrumpyUnk at November 26, 2010 10:48 AM (NPZEl)

18 My Black Friday plan:

1) Show up to the store early and get the tickets giving me the right to buy the really good stuff (TVs and the like).
2) After they run out of tickets, walk down the line and sell my tickets for an easy 20-50 dollars per.
3) Go home early and get to bed before the store opens, congratulating myself on another job well done.

Posted by: Jarrod at November 26, 2010 10:53 AM (OzXHr)

19 I'm going to suppose that the video will eventually play.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at November 26, 2010 10:56 AM (bvfVF)

20 I spent Black Friday at home, eating leftovers; I only ventured outside to work with the horses and excercise the dogs...went to one Black Friday, one.  Never ever again.

Posted by: unknown jane, humanities major at November 26, 2010 11:00 AM (5/yRG)

21 Once again, it appears one can order online and get the same deals and not hassle with going down there.

Posted by: Moi at November 26, 2010 11:02 AM (Ez4Ql)

22 17 Shit like this is what makes me think a 1918 style Flu epidemic wouldn't be such a bad thing.

Posted by: GrumpyUnk at November 26, 2010 03:48 PM (NPZEl)

You rang?

Posted by: Captain Trips at November 26, 2010 11:02 AM (vkUBG)

23 I was kinda half expecting a man made disaster today; glad to see I was wrong -- although the goofs who act like they're going for the carnival seats at a Who concert nearly pulled off one of their own.  I never did understand it.

Posted by: unknown jane, humanities major at November 26, 2010 11:23 AM (5/yRG)

24 Fuck that noise

Posted by: Kenny Powers at November 26, 2010 11:24 AM (2cfUo)

25 I just can't fathom this. Let me tell you what I saw last night. I deliver newspapers to make extra income. I have a paper to deliver to a bank in a shopping mall, I pull up in my car and toss it out the drivers side window. So I'm driving through the shopping mall parking lot at 3:40 am. It's FUCKING FREEZING. Well for our part of Texas anyway, probably around 40 degrees, with lots of gusting winds. Oh, and guess what? IT'S RAINING. Not really hard, but pretty steady. And cold. DEAR GOD, SO COLD. I have to get out of the car to put some papers on the porch, mostly for elderly people. I'm out of the nice warm car maybe 20, 30 seconds most times, and I'm fucking FREEZING by the time I get back inside. So anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, driving through the mall parking lot on my way to the bank. The biggest business in the shopping mall is a K-MART. Now usually this parking lot is empty at 3:30 in the morning when I drive through here. First thing I notice is about 50 cars parked in the lot. I look over to the K-Mart doors and there's a line of people all sitting down, covered up in blankets, getting rained on, sitting on an ice-cold sidewalk. Maybe 70, 80 people. And I spent the next 30 seconds, trying to mentally grasp what I just saw. It's 40 fucking degrees outside and the wind chill probably drops it into the low 30's easily. It's raining a cold rain. It's 3:40 in the morning. Most of these places are opening up at what, 5:00 am? Good Lord. I couldn't imagine subjecting myself to that for 1 hour, much less 2 or 3. What the fuck goes through some people's minds that they willingly endure something like that?

Posted by: manofaiki at November 26, 2010 11:30 AM (uSh7j)

26 I've been eating leftovers, cleaning up the back yard and doing various and sundry other major house projects.  I don't think I've ever been Black Friday shopping and I doubt I ever will.

Posted by: EZB at November 26, 2010 11:32 AM (fa9yq)

27 I feel like I'm watching some Discovery channel show about the behavior of some exotic species.  I simply don't understand it.

I remember this stuff when 95% of kids in America wanted the exact same Mario or Zelda video game in the 80s.  That sort of made sense because of the high demand and very limited supply.  My parents never got involved and as a result I never got any of those "hot" toys at Christmas, but I turned out alright (aside from the functioning alcoholism and right-wing blog addiction).  Is there even a must-have something that kids universally want this year or is this just some 20% off nonsense that is only 15% online?  I'm lost.

My wife and I don't have kids yet, but if a similar situation presents itself when we do I suspect it'll go something like this:

"Dear Whateverwenameyou,

Remember that time you cried in public and/or didn't listen to your parents?

I saw that.

As a result, I have decided to delay delivery on that super-cool toy you really wanted by thirty days.  Merry Christmas and smarten up.

Santa Claus"

Done and done.

Posted by: Johnny at November 26, 2010 11:45 AM (mhmc7)

28 I got my FlipHD camcorder, despite showing just up an hour before the sale, at Walmart. I played the "I am pushing around my wheel chair-bound mother-in-law" act. Paid off in spades.

Posted by: CAC at November 26, 2010 11:51 AM (Gr1V1)

29 Anyone remember the fiasco at a New York Walmart a couple of years ago?  I guess since this is the liberals preferred store, Target, it won't be a big deal. Still, some people are animals...there is NOTHING worth having that badly, NOTHING!

Posted by: SJR2 at November 26, 2010 11:57 AM (oCbCP)

30 Nothing like turkey to bring out the brood mentality.The best deal was online through" panasonic plasma $298 shipped)...yep scored one.

Posted by: Lazyboy Shopper at November 26, 2010 12:19 PM (MjInm)

31 I went through all those papers that I bought yesterday morning to see if there was anything worth a crap. They had one thing I thought I would want. It was an Emerson 32" LCD flat panel TV at the local Walmart for $200. Of course it was "limited supplies" meaning that they probably only had one so they could legally place the ad.

A friend of my daughter's called very early (05:00 am) and was told "they were all sold". So I am glad I did not go down and fight the crowds for that.

Posted by: Vic at November 26, 2010 12:24 PM (e4sSD)


Hell that's nothin.

At grocery sales for coffee, meat,etc. they're soldout before the doors open. I followed a dude to the stock area once and spied a full pallet of onsale stuff. Dude says they were too busy. Suuuuuure.

Posted by: ron dorque at November 26, 2010 01:45 PM (8XeSX)


OK, this is my town (well, OK, I live a ways out of town these days), so let's get some perspective. Buffalo is a city that has been on the decline for decades. They have alway (ALWAYS) had a Democrat mayor). They constantly harass and demonize business, and then whine about how their kids have to leave town to make a living. Viturally all of my relatives who have stayed put work for some level of govt. The top 5 employers were the govt, last I heard (or was it more than just five?).

One of the latest headlines is about how to upgrade the Peace Bridge (which leads to Canada). All you have to do is go look at the thing to see it is a parking lot. So you need a better prosess and facilities at either end, not the second span for tens of millions of dollars that is being planned. And planned. And planned. It's been going on for over ten years.

And don't get me started on how they reacted when somebody wanted to invest about a billion dollars to do something useful (relating to helping with the developing energy crisis, no less) with one of the old steelmills that act as a constant eyesore, and pay no taxes.

In summary, this town is quntessentially "stuck on stupid". Whatever California is, was invented here. So don't expect too much from this town.

Posted by: Optimizer at November 26, 2010 02:35 PM (2lTU+)

34 I must mention again how pissed I am that the Web is just turning into reposts of TV news.

I can read faster than newsbobbles can talk, text doesn't generally fail to load, and I'm not left waiting for some idiot video server to fail. At least have a paragraph of descriptive text so everything's not just an endless list of links to broken videos.

Posted by: Merovign, Strong on His Mountain at November 26, 2010 03:16 PM (bxiXv)

35 When we were youger,  my husband and I used to go out on Black Friday morning.  It was sort of fun,  we would pick up a few bargains,  and have a late breakfast.  It was the beginning of our Christmas season.

I haven't been out in about 10 years.  It is way more crazy than it used to be,  a lot of the items are limited supply,  and I would much prefer to shop on line. and it has certainly gotten a lot more dangerous. 

Posted by: Miss Marple at November 26, 2010 03:21 PM (Fo83G)

36 I have ZERO sympathy for any of these idiots stupid enough to wait outside a store in the freezing cold all night long to purchase some luxury consumer item. They deserve to get trampled.

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Posted by: xixi at November 27, 2010 01:49 PM (TrVxe)

38 what is wrong with people? who acts like this? i don't know ONE person personally that acts like this, or even freaks out about shopping on the day after thanksgiving. honestly, is trampling people to death worth a discount on a flat screen tv? ever heard of an estate sale? these people are assholes.

Posted by: annak at November 27, 2010 06:14 PM (2/oBD)

39 The lowest common denominator...out spending money on shit they don't need with money they don't have.Low life fools all of them.

Posted by: mot at November 28, 2010 06:00 PM (022gy)

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