January 31, 2009

NOAA: Global warming unstoppable for next 1,000 years
— Purple Avenger

Chill out and stop frothing Al, kick back with a cold one and enjoy the ride, it ain't stopping anytime soon.

...This paper shows that the climate change that takes place due to increases in carbon dioxide concentration is largely irreversible for 1,000 years after emissions stop...
Who knows what's going to happen in a 1,000 years anyway? Freaking replicators might have taken over this planet by then and they won't give a shit.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at 03:33 PM | Comments (111)
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Reid: If Non-Stimulative "Stimulus" Stalls, Credit the GOP
— Ace

Why thank you, Harry.

As the $820 billion stimulus package heads to the upper chamber, Senate Democratic leaders are launching a pre-emptive strike.

In a Thursday afternoon news conference, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid urged Senate Republicans not to line up against the bill, and says Republicans will be blamed for any delay in the landmark economic legislation.

“If we don’t [pass the bill], it’s not our fault, we’re trying,” Reid said. “The president has done a remarkable job covering all the bases on Capitol Hill.”

And Senate Vice Chairman Charles Schumer said that any GOP effort to lay the blame on House Speaker Nancy Pelosi for failing to win was “very unfair.”

Republican Senators are meanwhile pushing tax cuts and mortgage rate cuts for credit-worthy borrowers. From 5% to 4% federally-guaranteed 30-year-mortgages.

Which seems to address the problem more directly than spending $50,000 for two dog parks in Lewiston, Maine. And $500,000 for one dog park in Chula Vista, CA.

Other dogcrap spending can be found at StimulusWatch.

Posted by: Ace at 02:45 PM | Comments (100)
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Overafternoon Open Thread. Less Stimulus, Tuna-Licking Edition (genghis)
— Open Blog

First, a reminder: don’t forget to set your calenders to the new standard: This is now the year 1 A.O. (Anno Obamani. Which, when translated from Latin means “In The Year of Our Heavenly Unicorn.”) Now we can finally rid ourselves of this meaningless piece of shit. Please also remember to “Leap Forward” every 4 years, on January 20th, at least once we get rid of that pesky 22nd Ammendment.

But back to our headline. From Japan comes an admonishment: ”Japan to Tourists: Please Don’t Lick the Tuna.” Story from a group of Press, who are Associated:

”TOKYO — Tourists are known for acting silly, but licking the tuna?”

“Overwhelmed by a growing number of misbehaving tourists, Tokyo fishmongers banned all visitors from one of the city's most popular tourist destinations — the pre-dawn tuna auctions at the world's largest seafood market.”

“The ban, imposed during the peak New Year buying season, was front-page news before it was lifted last week. Now, the tourists are back, but the debate goes on: Can tourists be trusted around the tuna?”

Apparently not. But there’s more, disturbingly enough:

"Tuna is a very expensive fish," Takagi said. "One tuna can easily cost more than 1 million yen ($11,000). But some tourists touch them and even try to hug them."

And that’s just during daylight hours.

But who are these Japanese fishmongers to deny tuna-lovers their lifestyle? After all, isn’t this the country that introduced tentacles as a marital aid to the rest of the world? This reeks of discrimination and tunaphobia! And what about the tuna themselves? Have they no say in this? AP did interview the spokestuna from the group “Committee to UNite Tuna in Solidarity.” Here’s what he had to say regarding his right to be licked:

”It’s grrrrreeEEEAAAT!”

Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. Please e-mail overnight open thread tips to xgenghisx@gmail.com. Otherwise send tips to Ace.

Posted by: Open Blog at 02:14 PM | Comments (55)
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Of Course: $1 Billion of GM's Bailout Going to Investment... in Brazil
— Ace


Posted by: Ace at 02:01 PM | Comments (28)
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Dirty Harry, The Musical?
Plus: The Thing Prequel

— Ace

It's actually Magnum Force.

Magnum Force, the 1973 sequel to the Clint Eastwood thriller Dirty Harry, is getting a musical makeover and may even be Broadway bound, according to The Guardian. English singer-songwriter Robyn Hitchcock, an admitted Magnum Force obsessive, will compose the score and intends to produce the show with MTV executive Bill Flanagan....

And finally we'll get that sequel to The Thing. Sorta. It's a prequel focusing on the Swedes Norwegians who were attacked just prior to the discovery of the Thing by the Americans and MacReady.

Which is kinda not a good idea, for the same reason the Star Wars prequels weren't a good idea: We already know pretty much what happened, don't we. The end of The Thing was a bit unexpected, with the implication that both surviving heroes actually die. (Actually, not quite so clear, as many speculate at least one is a Thing, and further wonder if they did die after all.)

On the other hand, we know (sorta) that the entirety of the Norwegian base is destroyed and all hands killed. While it's possible a couple of Norgies got away on a dog-sled, they didn't make it to the nearest base over the following days, so even if they "escaped," they die in the snow. Just like MacReady and Childs. The unexpected ending of the first movie is the utterly-expected (well-nigh required) ending of the sequel.

Plus... who cares if some fucking Scandis die? Where is the drama? Plus, wouldn't all the Scandis being killed be too upbeat and life-affirming an ending for the Thing franchise?

Anyway... this should set some geek hearts a-pumpin':

Studio has set "Battlestar Galactica" exec producer Ron Moore to write the script and commercials director Matthijs Van Heijningen to direct the re-imagining.

Thanks to Ray Midge for the last.

I'll Say It: I want MacReady back. Just like in Aliens, paid to advise a squad hunting what they think might be another Thing outbreak.

I guess that would be controversial, given that the ending of the first movie pretty much said he died. And that resurrecting him would kind of cheapen that.

Then again, one can escape from Antarctica. Shackleton did it. Why not MacReady?

Okay, okay. They're not going to bring MacReady back. Still, the movie should be a sequel set after the events of the first film, not a prequel.

Ah: Reading more about Shackleton's feat, I see he managed it before winter set on the already frigid continent. The Thing makes it clear that they are already in the winter (albeit "first week of fuckin' winter," I think).

Posted by: Ace at 01:00 PM | Comments (92)
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Open Blog/Open Thread
— Ace

If'n you want.

Posted by: Ace at 12:27 PM | Comments (72)
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Am I The Only One Who Just Doesn't Give a Shit About the Super Bowl This Year?
— Ace

Pittsburgh and Arizona fans, don't answer. I know your answer-- it's a perfectly understandable answer.

This might be the first Super Bowl since age 7 I don't watch. Sure, my boys got eliminated this year in a particularly ignominious fashion, but they often get eliminated and I always watch the Super Bowl.

This year I just don't care. My interest in football has been declining a bit as I've gotten older -- exactly why I am rooting for millionaires knee-deep in supermodels to have even better lives? -- but now my interest has so declined I might just take a pass on the big game altogether.

Is this just me? Is there something about how goofy the playoffs were -- the weaker team almost always winning (except Pittsburgh) -- that somehow makes this a dubious clash of champions?

Or is it just that I hate NBC and Bruce Springsteen? Who, by the way, have gone a combined twenty-five years since their last legitimate hit.

UPDATE [DinT]: No. You're not the only one who doesn't give a shit about the Superbowl this year. Although, I didn't give a shit last year either, so there. Still, it was quite a game, so maybe tomorrow will be too.

HDTV deals should kick ass next week. I waited. Yes I did.

Posted by: Ace at 12:11 PM | Comments (178)
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Octo-Mom Kinda Weird
— Ace

She's not married and already had six kids. Wanting "just one more girl," she implanted eight fertilized embryos and all went to term.

So now she's got fourteen kids.

Incidentally, I notice that Feministing hasn't commented on this at all, and I went back through five dreary pages of posts. Their usual joke -- "It's a vagina, not a clown car" -- is MIA. They tend to do this: There is no male villain in the story they can yell at about this, so it's not a story as far as they're concerned. If she'd had a husband, they would have posted about this twenty five times by now.

Furthermore, this was this woman's choice, and women's choices can never be questioned.

So they just ignore it.

They did the same thing, as far as I can tell, with the alleged virgin selling her purported virginity in a confirmed whorehouse. I looked at the time, because I was curious which wildly-disproportionate response they would arbitrarily choose -- wildly praising her for sticking it to the patriarchy, or savaging her for allowing herself to be "programmed" by the patriarchy's heteronormative regime -- but they seem to have skipped that one, too.

Those are the feminists only two possible reactions -- wild praise and savaging -- and often it seems like the decide on the flip of a coin which to indulge in. An ad featuring breasts gets savaged; an ad making cheeky references to "beavers" get praised. What exactly is the criteria by which such disparate reactions are decided?

Almost none at all, it seems. But damnit, they're going to have an opinion on anything involving pooter or tits and either way it's going to be a hyperbolic one.

But in these two cases, I guess the coin refused to flip and simply stood on its edge. The Sisterhood of Solidarity, apparently unable to reach a Group Consensus as to whether Extreme Reaction A or Extreme Reaction B was called for, simply passed altogether.

Posted by: Ace at 12:06 PM | Comments (43)
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Renee Zellwegger: "I Have a Crush on Jimmy Carter"
— Ace

Of course.

“I have a crush on Jimmy Carter. I admit it. He has an extraordinary mind. He's an exceptional human being. And he writes poetry, for crying out loud. He's all good things.”

In a Friday “Life” section profile, “A low-key Renee Zellweger loves to hide in plain sight,” reporter Donna Freydkin relayed: “So wowed was Zellweger that she waited in the blistering Manhattan cold for 2 1/2 hours on Monday to have the 39th President sign her copy of his latest book, We Can Have Peace in the Holy Land: A Plan That Will Work.”

This is why I don't mind Scientologists. (Note I said Scientologists, not Scientology. The "religion," of course, is a nasty, thuggish, insane fraud. The people themselves are kinda kooky but generally well behaved.)

A lot of these art-school flakes are going to believe in something -- anything, really -- including Barack Obama and, bizarrely, "The Monster" Jimmy Carter (as Len, I think, from The Simpsons dubbed him). Frankly, believing that Xenu imprisoned millions of bad souls in volcanoes is the least toxic insanity they're likely to believe in.

Well, except for the fact that Scientology will rape their bank accounts. But at least that harm is restricted to themselves.

All I know is that John Travolta isn't always nuttering on about his politics.

Fixed: Isn't always nuttering on about his politics, I meant.

Posted by: Ace at 11:35 AM | Comments (85)
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Google "Human Error" Informs Millions That Visiting Websites (Including This One) "May Harm Your Computer"
— Ace

A glitch, as it turns out.

Viewing this site will only harm your spelling and harm your Obamabuzz.

Posted by: Ace at 10:58 AM | Comments (26)
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Shameless Thieving Fucking Cockbites
— LauraW

I can't even...I...I....O [NYQT9-ARV #569RUY JKF

Thanks to Intellectual Redneck. I think.

Posted by: LauraW at 10:47 AM | Comments (79)
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Half Baked: Obama's Half Brother in Kenya Arrested for Marijuana Possession
— Ace

The AP adds helpfully:

George Obama and the president had the same father but barely know each other.

An Obama cap and a joint? This must be a first.

More here.

And yes, it took a few searches to confirm this, but he is the half-brother who lives in poverty while The One is is palling around with terrorists fashionable people in Hyde Park:

Despite his humble background, he was angered by magazine reports last year that he was living in poverty on less than a dollar a day.

I hate yelling conspiracy at the drop of a hat but Google really seems to have never heard of this guy before. Searches for all the stories about George Obama living in squalor disclose nothing. This reference was only found because it's part of an article on the pot bust.

Thanks to CJ.

Posted by: Ace at 10:18 AM | Comments (74)
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The Most Savage Football Hit I've Ever Seen
— Ace

Or, not. Possibly a passel of kittens riding a Roomba.


Posted by: Ace at 09:25 AM | Comments (47)
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— LauraW


Transportation officials in Texas are scrambling to prevent hackers from changing messages on digital road signs after one sign in Austin was altered to read, "Zombies Ahead."

Other messages:

Posted by: LauraW at 07:35 AM | Comments (56)
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Awesome! Republican Senator Judd Gregg "Leading Candidate" To Be Named Commerce Secretary
— DrewM

Looks like Democrats are going to get their 60 Senate seats after all. If Gregg is named and confirmed, the Democratic Governor of New Hampshire will fill the seat. Add in Al Franken at some point and the RINOs won't even be getting some nominal payoff for braking ranks on filibusters.

So instead of a safe seat in 2010 (Gregg won reelection in '04 with 66% of the vote, while Kerry carried the state), Republicans will have to field a challenger against an appointed incumbent.

Did I mention how Awesome that is?

In fairness it will be tough to beat up Gregg too much. It would be hard to say no for partisan reasons to any President when they say they need and want you to serve. Still, it sucks for Republicans.

Adding to the fun...not only does it hurt Republicans in the Senate, it makes Obama look all the more bipartisan especially in light of Republicans saying no to the so-called "stimulus" bill. Well played Mr. President. Well played.

*I changed the headline from 'Likely' to 'Leading Candidate' to reflect what the story says. I'm not sure there's much difference but, like Obama retaking the oath, I did it out of an abundance of caution.

Posted by: DrewM at 07:15 AM | Comments (96)
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Polls Close Quietly in Iraq
— Dave in Texas

No major outbreaks of violence reported in provincial elections.

I wonder why Jimmy Carter wasn't observing these?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at 06:29 AM | Comments (29)
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Iran Knows A Carter When They See One
— LauraW

From the top line on Drudge this morning:

US President Barack Obama's offer to talk to Iran shows that America's policy of "domination" has failed, the government spokesman said on Saturday.
"This request means Western ideology has become passive, that capitalist thought and the system of domination have failed," Gholam Hossein Elham was quoted as saying by the Mehr news agency.

"Weakness is provocative."
-Ronald Reagan

Great. Now a whole new generation of young Americans can watch shitty little tyrants kick America around the schoolyard.

Just super, Obama. Nice job.

Posted by: LauraW at 06:26 AM | Comments (72)
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January 30, 2009

Roll your own plague of locusts
— Purple Avenger

Ordinary friendly grasshopper + serotonin == ravenous locust.

...Knowing what causes this swift metamorphosis may help governments and farmers develop methods to control future locust outbreaks with chemicals that would suppress the offending serotonin...
Or if you're a Doctor Evil type, trigger the transformation on demand to wreak havoc on your hapless victims. more...

Posted by: Purple Avenger at 10:28 PM | Comments (50)
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Overnight Open Thread. Still more Stimulus Package (genghis)
— Open Blog

Not sure if anyone posted this earlier in the week, but NRO’s Media Blog covered this interview on Tuesday between PBS’ Chuckles Rose and ABC’s Jake Tapper. From NRO’s Tim Graham in the setup to his post:

”ABC White House reporter Jake Tapper described Obama’s first full day as president on the PBS talk show hosted by Charlie Rose on the evening of January 21. The real eyebrow-raising passage came when Rose asked Tapper about the relationship between Team Obama and the press, and Tapper described many of his press colleagues on their knees":

Followed by an excerpt from the interview (quoting Tapper):
”I would say for a lot of my colleagues, it's perhaps an unrequited love between them and the president. He’s — you know, he’s a cool customer. You know, I think that there are some of us that, you know, maybe try to report on our feet a little bit more than on our knees and he doesn`t necessarily know what to make of us all the time. You know, he eyes us warily.”

I’ll bet. I know some guys down in Orange County, CA who could probably work this story up into some sort of video. Sure, they’re not major film producers, and they work out of warehouses and rental storage spaces, but they’ve done some truly magnificent work in the past. Who cares if they have no Oscars festooning their garage-like spaces…they do this for the love of the craft, you see.

(hat tip to “Jubal Anderson Early,” who singlehandedly drove back the Spartan hordes at the Battle of Waterloo in 1066 A.D.)

Now that you’ve finished off your broccoli, I think you deserve a little dessert. Make sure you brush your teeth before heading off to your bunk. (Probably not quite safe for work, but anyone who objects is someone you really don’t want to work for/with anyway)

Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. Please e-mail overnight open thread tips to xgenghisx@gmail.com. Otherwise send tips to Ace.

Posted by: Open Blog at 07:50 PM | Comments (111)
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Whopsie! Daschle's Tax Problems Are More Extensive Than First Thought
— DrewM

Looks like Daschle has a bigger problem than not paying taxes on the gift of a car and driver.

He didn't report consulting income and claimed charitable contributions that didn't qualify. All in all he had to pony up an extra $140,000 in payments and interest.

Team of Rivals

Photoshop [ace]: Driving Miss Daschle, by notropis.

Posted by: DrewM at 07:13 PM | Comments (91)
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