September 30, 2006

Step Off, Chris Muir, Just Step Off...[Jack M.]
— Ace

Or I'll call in a few favors and you'll end up like that guy who draws Ziggy.

Who is that?

Exactly.

Apparently, I am going to have to up my game as my poetry doesn't seem to be the key to MKH's much contested heart. After all, she never featured a verse from "She Blogs with Elemental Fury" on her main site, did she?

Check out the latest attempt to win her fair hand by my new arch-enemy, Chris Muir:

mkhtoon.jpg

Have you ever seen such blatant pandering or fawning in your life? It's disgusting, I tell you! No man with any measure of self-respect would engage in such a demeaning and pathetic approach...

Oh.

Anyway, since Malkin's fauxtos have been a HOT topic around here, I figured I'd post this as an extension of those comments.

And the fact that it's likely going to piss off Rho?

Didn't factor into my thinking at all.

Posted by: Ace at 04:58 PM | Comments (91)
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Presenting Miss World 2006 -- Michael
— Ace

She's the one on the right, from the Czech Republic, reacting to the announcement of her victory.


Miss World.jpg

Wow. That girl has really terrific teeth.

In a comment thread elsewhere, Kevlarchick suggests that the grimace on her face foreshadows a lifetime of lower back pain.

Personally, I think the more serious health risk is the potentional for boob-slappage injuries to the future Mr. Miss World. But that's just me.

By MONIKA SCISLOWSKA, Associated Press Writer



1 hour, 6 minutes ago



WARSAW, Poland - Tatana Kucharova, an 18-year-old student from the Czech Republic, won the Miss World 2006 beauty contest on Saturday.

Kucharova defeated 103 other women in voting by a panel of judges and television viewers around the world during a two-hour finals ceremony in the Polish capital.

The full story (and slideshow!!!) is here.

Posted by: Ace at 02:50 PM | Comments (56)
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No Cab For You
— LauraW.

My, this is perplexing.

Mursal and hundreds of other Muslim cabdrivers at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport refuse to take customers they know are carrying alcohol. They don't search bags, but a wine box may be enough to leave a fare waiting for the next cab.

But airport personnel have come up with a workaround.
Now, they may be required to buy different colored lights to sit atop their cabs so airport workers who hook up travelers with taxis can steer alcohol-carrying fares to cabs that will take them. The proposal needs approval from the airport's taxi cab advisory committee, and airport officials hope to have the lights ready by year's end.

Ironically making it easier for customers to identify and discriminate against cabs driven by Muslims. If you feel like being a prick (and come now, who doesn't?) just say there's booze in your luggage, even if there isn't.**
"They're really kind of imparting their religious views on the public," said Katie Patterson of McKinley, Texas. "I can understand if somebody's drunk; that's a whole different issue. But to just bring in a closed container, maybe you should look for other work."

I wonder if the fallout would have been different if they were Christians refusing some other kind of object or substance.

**After further reflection I realized that there are no laws to prevent customers from discriminating on the basis of race or religion against vendors.
So you can just go ahead and say you want a non-Muslim cabbie.
Thank you, Law of Unintended Consequences. You're a peach.

Posted by: LauraW. at 02:12 PM | Comments (80)
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Bjorn Staerk Responds
— AndrewR

...to my post below. Here's his response (and I apologize for the multiple boxes of text--I haven't figured out how to get multiple paragraphs into one box):

First, I should point out that whatever you have in mind when you picture a European intellectual to yourself, I'm not it. At least I think they would be offended by the comparison. I belong to no camp, and I'm unimpressed by all those people who have implied that since I'm obviously not on "their" side, I must be on the other.

Second, you say you can't control your fear. Maybe not, or at least there's a limit to it. But you can control how you react to that fear. You can train yourself not to listen to it. The reason I mentioned fear of flying one place is that I'm moderately afraid to fly myself. I used to think that if perhaps I could do it often enough, then the fear would go away. It hasn't happened yet. What has happened instead is that I've learned ways to deal with my fear. I've learned to do something that I really don't enjoy. I suspect it's like that with all fears. The fear itself may largely be beyond our control, but nobody can take away your choice - only yourself, by telling yourself you have none.

"Note the contradiction here: Your fear of the suspicious Arabs in the row in front of you is irrational, and yet it's brave to ignore it. But in order to do something brave, don't you have to be putting yourself at risk? Because if that's the case, than your fear can't be irrational. So which is it?"

Illusion and reality. The threat is mostly illusory, there is virtually no chance that you will find yourself on a plane with terrorists. But the illusion is real to you, and creates a very real fear. Ignoring that fear requires a modest amount of bravery - even though the fear is irrational.

Andrea Harris: "I'm surprised. Bjorn Staerk used to be all for fighting terrorists. However, he's been known to do parodies of deep-dyed moonbats on occasion. Are you so sure this isn't one of those parodies? True, these days it's hard to tell."

Hey, Andrea, it's been a while. This is no parody. A lot of people find it difficult to read it on its own terms, though. They seem to think one must either be on one side or the other. This post here isn't the worst I've seen, (despite that bizarre "typical European intellectual"-thing) - I've been flamed at Dhimmi Watch all day for being coward and a disgrace to the proud viking nation or whatever. The comments I've written there clarify some of the things that might be unclear.

Anyway, I'm all for fighting terrorists. I said so in the piece. But do you have a method of eliminating terrorism alltogether? If not, we need a personal approach to living with it, in addition to any political and military approaches. I didn't feel it necessary to write much about those other approaches here, I figure my readers should be able to read a post on how to live with terrorism, without being assured in every paragraph that I also intend us to fight it, like they were children with an attention deficit problem.
Posted by Bjørn Stærk at September 30, 2006 01:38 PM

He also responds to Dhimmi Watch's criticism here.

My response after the jump. more...

Posted by: AndrewR at 10:20 AM | Comments (35)
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The Mark Foley IM's, Photo-Dramatized
— Ace

Eeeesh.

More Mark Foley IM's: With a special guest cameo by a legendary blogger no one's ever heard of.

Posted by: Ace at 09:03 AM | Comments (16)
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Ace Podcast Interview Via Stop the ACLU
— Ace

In about five minutes.

Posted by: Ace at 07:57 AM | Comments (21)
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Terrorism And The European Mind
— AndrewR

As I did this post, it went from brief comment to lengthy tirade to primal scream, so I'm putting the whole thing past the jump to keep things here on the main page pithy.

It rambles a bit and jumps around, but I needed to get some stuff off my chest.

I originally found the link on the website that keeps on giving. more...

Posted by: AndrewR at 07:28 AM | Comments (40)
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Helter Skelter: Free Charles Manson! [Jack M.]
— Ace

It doesn't have quite the same ring as "Free Mumia!", does it?

In any event, this is the topic of a hilarious tongue-in-cheek article that appears in The American Thinker entitled "Charles Manson's Path to Freedom". The author, noting that Manson has been rejected in 10 consecutive parole hearings has some helpful tips for how Manson can make his case a cause celebre and guarantee a successful outcome to his upcoming hearing.

So how does one go about winning sympathy for the devil, you may be asking? It's easy! Just follow the following steps:

1. Start Bashing Bush. This is chum in shark-infested waters. Like voting in Chicago, you should do this early and often. This action will immediately establish your credentials as a tough, nuanced, and sophisticated thinker.....

2. Convert to Islam. People will immediately think of Cat Stevens because he converted to Islam, and you look like him. Who can support someone’s imprisonment when humming “Longer boats are coming to win us…”? Any believer loves a convert, and this step will inspire our friends at CAIR. We can probably easily convince them to start running stories about how it was the Mossad who pulled of the Tate-LaBianca killings back in the late sixties.....

3.Announce Your Support for “Women’s Issues.” Repeat often how much you admire and how much you have learned from Katha Pollitt and the heiress, Katrina Van den Heuval. Cite The Nation as the deepest thing that you have ever read, other than Chomsky, of course. In very solemn tones mention that you much prefer peace to war, which you can then characterize as a “patriarchal construction.” Announce your support for oppressed women everywhere, but don’t get specific here. Never mention Juanita Broderick, Paula Jones, or Muslim women....

4. Lose The Swasika On Your Forehead. There are many talented plastic surgeons in Southern California. A nip here and tuck there, and like magic the swastika can be turned into a peace symbol.....

5. Court Hollywood Celebrities. If you rigorously follow steps one through four, this tactic is relatively simple. Our strategy, if carried out properly, is boob-bait for the Hollywood bubbas. Nick Clooney, Mike Farrell, Babs Streisand, Sean Penn, Ed Asner et al. simply cannot resist this sort of thing.

Of course, the author expands on these points more thoroughly then what I have excerpted here, so you really should go read the whole thing.

I'd say more about this topic, but I'm convinced that the lyrics to George Harrison's song "Piggies" are telling me I should go watch the early football games.

So I leave the further commenting to you. Keep this thought in mind though:

"I got blisters on my fingers!"

This place got workman's comp?

Posted by: Ace at 07:22 AM | Comments (13)
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Idiot Stirs Hornets - Seems Surprised at Result [Retired Geezer]
— Ace

I'm guessing that most of the morons who read this blog are upscale kind of trailer trash. I'll make a wild guess and say that a great percentage of you have indoor plumbing and have actually flown on an Airplane. Even with that common denominator, I'm not sure what everyone will think about this article.

"A traveler frustrated with recent changes to airport security procedures found himself detained in Milwaukee after writing a message critical of the TSA's leader on a plastic bag presented for screening.

The only thing I know about the TSA is what I've read on Michelle Malkin; the Air Marshals are now able to wear casual clothes. That's a good thing.
The message, which read "Kip Hawley is an Idiot," resulted in a confrontation with law enforcement, the traveler being told that his right to freedom of speech applied only "out there (pointing past the id checkers) not while in here [the checkpoint]."

Call me crazy but I'm thinking this guy just put himself on the short list for a full cavity search the next time he wants to go byebye in an airplane.
The story, which is detailed in a rapidly-growing thread on a discussion forum catering to frequent flyers, has attracted the interest of the ACLU, an AP reporter, and many others. The incident raises a number of interesting questions and concerns regarding just where our rights end."

It's like the guy who puts a "Don't Kick Me" sign on his back, gets kicked and then whines "But it says DON'T kick me".


From Slashdot.

Posted by: Ace at 05:28 AM | Comments (37)
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Australian Ideas On Rehabilitating Inmates
— LauraW.

I love these people.


Satan's dolphins

Prisoners in an Australian jail are being trained as croc farmers as part of a unique program to encourage rehabilitation.

The initiative is being trialled in the Northern Territory.

Northern Territory Justice Minister Syd Stirling said Darwin Correctional Centre inmates were learning new life skills thanks to the course.


Not everyone will graduate.

Posted by: LauraW. at 05:07 AM | Comments (13)
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$8 Million Stolen From Parish -- Michael
— Ace

By two priests.

By Jim Loney
16 minutes ago


MIAMI (Reuters) - Two Roman Catholic priests allegedly misappropriated more than $8 million from their church and spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on real estate, travel, rare coins and girlfriends, police in Florida said on Friday.

The retired priests were accused of skimming cash from collection plates and bequests to the St. Vincent Ferrer Catholic Church in Delray Beach, Florida, over a period of years and channeling the money into secret "slush funds" they used to pay personal bills, Delray Beach police said.

Of course it's a shock that two priests would steal from their church.

The bigger shock is that the were able to pull it off. How the heck does $8 million disappear from a single church before someone notices? The priests are not the entire problem here. Someone was not minding the congregation's business.

Actually, I'm not that surprised. My career has moved me around the country, and I've had the opportunity to be a member of a number of churches. I've held various offices on occasion, including jobs as the congregational Treasurer and as the Chairman of the Finance Committee.

Every congregation is different, but they all have one thing in common -- their internal financial controls suck. Not one of them could pass the kind of audit conducted pursuant to the standards applicable to a business of comparable size.

Why are churches so lax? I think it's just the atmosophere of a church. The usual financial controls employed by businesses seem unnecessary when everyone is a brother or sister in Christ, and so trusts each other.

Unfortunately, the works of the Holy Spirit do not include excusing us from the consequences of ignoring GAAP.

Some of the misappropriated funds may have benefited the church, Delray Beach police spokesman Jeff Messer said.

"They were skimming cash out of the offering plates and other donations that came into the church," he said. "They were spending some on church projects and they were spending a lot on themselves, for vacations, buying properties, gambling trips to Las Vegas and the Bahamas, and alleged girlfriends."

"We can prove several hundred thousand has been spent on personal use by each of them. They may have done some good for the church," Messer said, adding that a church audit covered more than four decades that Skehan served at the church.

Priests accused in $8 million church theft

Posted by: Ace at 04:48 AM | Comments (26)
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September 29, 2006

Wal-Mart: The Empire Strikes Back [Jack M.]
— Ace

And this time, it's personal.

It appears that Wal-Mart has had about enough of being demonized by the left in this country for the grave sin of providing quality goods to American consumers at low prices.

So Wal-Mart has decided to take some action to show those hippy, agrarian, land reformers who's boss after all:

Wal-Mart Stores Inc. yesterday launched a voter registration drive aimed at its 1.3 million U.S. employees in what it describes as the largest such effort by a private company.

The kickoff was held in Iowa, a key battleground in the upcoming midterm elections. Workers at Wal-Mart's roughly 3,800 other facilities across the country also received registration forms yesterday. Although the world's largest retailer said it does not want to influence how its workers vote, David Tovar, director of media relations, said the drive was prompted by recent criticism of the company by politicians.

Heh. And Grand Moff Tarkin didn't want to influence the course of the rebellion by blowing up Alderaan.

Wal-Mart is working with Democratic strategist Charles Baker of the law firm DLA Piper and Republican strategist Terry Nelson, founder of Crosslink Strategy, on what it has dubbed the Voter Education Program. The company has prepaid postage for voter registration forms in Iowa and several other states. It is also allowing workers whose shifts do not give them three hours to visit the polls to take paid time off to vote. Before the elections in 2004, they received two hours of unpaid time off.

Wal-Mart sent letters to 18,000 Iowa employees in August criticizing Sens. Evan Bayh of Indiana and Joseph R. Biden Jr. of Delaware and Govs. Tom Vilsack of Iowa and Bill Richardson of New Mexico -- all Democrats -- for participating in a bus tour arranged by Wake Up Wal-Mart, which is funded by the United Food and Commercial Workers International Union. Similar letters were sent to workers in New Hampshire, South Carolina and Nevada.

Well, my only criticism of this effort is why they bothered to send 18,000 letters about 4 candidates who will be lucky to get 18,000 votes between them on Iowa's caucus night.

Then again, maybe they hope that these letters will create a strange disturbance in the Democrat's party platform discussions as a couple of these jokers are running for the VP slot.

In any event, regardless of which side of the political divide you are on voter registration is a good thing, right?

Some activist groups questioned the retailer's motives, citing Wal-Mart's policy of banning voter registration drives conducted by outside parties from its stores.

"If Wal-Mart is truly interested in promoting a just democracy, then customers and employees should be included in registration activities," said Edward A. Hailes Jr., senior attorney with Advancement Project, a national civil rights group organization that works on voting issues.

Ahh, yes. Voter registration drives are as evil as Darth Vader and the Dark Side of the Force unless they are placed in the hands of committed liberal activists to run.

For the life of me, I can't imagine why Wal-Mart would want to keep their customers from being harrassed by a bunch of clipboard wielding moonbats.

Can you?

I'm just sorry that the guy is characterized as "questioning the motives". Had he only "questioned the timing" I could have done a whole Joshua Micah Leia Skywalker Cougar Mellancamp Boutros-Boutros C3P0 Akbar Marshall riff.

Anyway...may the force be with you Wal-Mart!

Posted by: Ace at 09:39 PM | Comments (40)
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Mark Foley's Name Will Remain On Ballots, But Any Votes Cast For Him Will Be Counted Towards GOP Replacement
— Ace

Interesting... maybe with a decent replacement candidate the seat can be held.

Posted by: Ace at 03:20 PM | Comments (94)
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Mark Foley's "Outreach" To Youths At Risk Of Being Hot
— Ace

How To Ruin Your Life, Part 7,654.

"Maf54" is Mark Foley.

Maf54: You in your boxers, too?

Teen: Nope, just got home. I had a college interview that went late.

Maf54: Well, strip down and get naked.

...

Maf54: What ya wearing?
Teen: tshirt and shorts
Maf54: Love to slip them off of you.

...

Maf54: Do I make you a little horny?
Teen: A little.
Maf54: Cool.

But there's more:

Maf54: Do you like watching Gladiator movies, Joey?

Teen: Uhmm... I guess.

Maf54: Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

Teen: Where is this heading?

Maf54: Do you have any Irish in you, Joey?

Teen: No.

Maf54: Would you like some?

Teen: That's not even from the same movie.

Looks like there will be an investigation after all:

The language gets much more graphic, too graphic to be broadcast, and at one point the congressman appears to be describing Internet sex.

Federal authorities say such messages could result in Foley's prosecution, under some of the same laws he helped to enact.

Yes, enact. Check it out:

Mark also has worked closely with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and John Walsh (host of Fox TV’s America’s Most Wanted) on a variety of child protection programs. Among the latest of these is a program designed to show children how to protect themselves from online predators.

The liberals are going to have a field day, but hey, apparently his advice for children protecting themselves against Internet predators worked, baby.

Why would he take the lead in such a legislative scheme?

1) To insulate himself against just these charges, just as Al Gore began a born-again campaign finance reformer after taking tons of dirty money from ChiCom agents passing donations through Buddhist nuns; and

2) Acess to all that Pete Townsend-style "child porn research."


Posted by: Ace at 01:20 PM | Comments (129)
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Israel Warns Five News Agencies: Stop Doctoring/Staging Photos
— Ace

...or else there could be problems:

The director of the Government Press Office, Danny Seaman, told the Post Israel reserved the right to act against any media outlets working out of Israel if they "fail to conduct themselves in a professional manner."

A spokesman for AP immediately dismissed the complaint as exhibiting "disproportionate craftiness" and furthmore as coming from a "scheming Jew."

He later corrected himself to say "scheming Zionist Jew."

From mesablue.

Posted by: Ace at 01:04 PM | Comments (25)
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Iron Man coming to the Big Screen [Jack M.]
— Ace

And since Robert Downey Jr. is slated to play Tony Stark, this classic cover of Iron Man #128 instantly came to mind:

ironmancvr128.jpg

Why Robert Downey Jr. you ask?

"The Marvel characters are not just about how high they jump or how fast they fly, they're about their character flaws," Feige said. "They're about their inner demons. They're about the struggles that they go through between being a man and being a hero."

Downey, who has battled his fair share of inner demons, worked hard to get the role, getting in shape and even growing a goatee like the one Stark sports in the comic books.

"In every casting announcement we've done, people in their mind's eye have their own view of it and let us know about it. We're used to it," Feige said. "The point is, we looked at everybody, and we found the best person for the role. It's as confident a casting move as we've ever done. The proof will be in the pudding, but he is Tony Stark."

Here's one thing I know, if Downey doesn't get nominated for an Academy Award for his portrayal of a skirt chasing, drug addicted, booze hound Tony Stark there is no justice in the world.

After all, he's spent his whole life preparing for this part. It makes his preparations for the lead role in "Chaplin" seem pathetic by comparison.

Posted by: Ace at 12:46 PM | Comments (24)
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HotAir Double-Feature
— Ace

In a change of pace, Zawahiri plagiarizes a Joe Biden speech. Well, not just Joe Biden. Any Democrat, really. Whines about "torture" and calls Bush a miserable failure.


Brigitte Gabriel unloads on so-called "Moderate Muslims," and agrees with Dean Esmay that the extremists are really just a few bad apples after all.

No more than 180 to 300 million bad apples, so what are you so worried about? Racists.

Posted by: Ace at 12:30 PM | Comments (14)
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Cool Facts About Ken Layne
— Ace

Remember, this is all obviously fake.

Or is it...?

Posted by: Ace at 12:17 PM | Comments (112)
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Poll: Should Michelle Malkin Sue?
— Ace

Should Michelle Malkin Sue Over The Defamatory Photoshops Of Her Posted On Nick Denton's Sites?
Yes, "blogging" should not be synonymous with "utterly disburdened from rules of accuracy."
No, it sets a bad precedent.
Ken Layne is a cock-smoking douchetool.
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Hey, this poll thing is pretty fun.

Although I suppose polling purists will knock the poll as being 1) self-selecting and 2) prejudicially worded with the whole "cock-smoking douchetool" thing.

I don't know. I think it's pretty accurate so far.

Updates:

"Yes:" 33%

"No:" 5%

"Cock-Smoking Douchetool:" 62%

Background... Here.

Posted by: Ace at 11:57 AM | Comments (37)
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Michelle Malkin Bikini Lawsuit?
— Ace

This is libel, isn't it?

Is there any good reason Michelle shouldn't sue?

Don't give me that "blogger code" about letting crap like this slide. This wasn't presented as a parody; it was presented as fact, without even the most basic of fact-checking (or simple common sense).

It's libel.

Information wants to be free. So does defamation. But just because defamation wants to be free is no reason to give it free range.

Sue, Michelle. Sue like the wind.

I'm sick of Nick Denton's bullshit. The fact that this fucker has a blog called The Defamer is not going to help him in his argument that his blogs are absent of malice in their libel.

Not the hugest deal in the world. But it's time to cut him a little where it hurts.

And Ken Layne? Fuck you. You were a nobody even when you were a somebody. The only reason you (and many bloggers at that time) were read at all was because barely anyone at all was writing blogs.

You were talentless then, you're talentless now. The only reason people know your name is that Instapundit had a choice of eight people a day to link to. What a shock, he linked to you day after day.

He also linked to Oliver Willis, which should tell you something.

Hope you've got $20,000 to spare for a settlement, Pard.

Anyone know how... to cook up a quick poll/quiz on this?

Posted by: Ace at 11:08 AM | Comments (119)
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