July 31, 2006

Raul Castro Update: More Radical, Less Charismatic
— Ace

Seems like a winning combination to me.

Ace's Rule of Cult-of-Personality Tyranny: You can't be a long-lived tyrant when you project the all the sex appeal and virile authority of the little bald guy from The Benny Hill Show.

Cuban Defense Minister Raul Castro is President Fidel Castro's staunchly loyal younger brother and his designated successor. At 75 and five years younger than Fidel, Raul is far less charismatic than his brother though far more radical.

...

Three weeks after taking power in January 1959, Castro named Raul his successor, telling supporters: "Behind me are others more radical than I."

...

While Fidel headed up many of the mass protests in Havana, it was the mustachioed Raul, dressed in his olive green uniform and a full head shorter than his brother, leading tens of thousands of chanting, flag- waving citizens in the provinces.

SlapSlapSlapSlapSlap.

Hey, if such superficial concerns as looks, height, and charisma matter in a mature, extraordinarily-successful democracy, they must count ten times as much in Cult of Personality Tyranny.

Cuba may be about to get a bit of political pluralism.

Not by design, of course. But while no one would dare challenge Fidel for power, I think there are going to be a few ambitious generals who think they're more suited to be Dictator For Life than Slappy Castro.

Posted by: Ace at 08:52 PM | Comments (26)
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Future of Mel Gibson's ABC TV Holocaust Miniseries In Doubt
— Ace

Yeahhhh... I'd imagine so.

Gibson, who apologized Saturday for making "despicable" remarks in what was described as an anti-Semitic tirade after a drunk-driving arrest, in some ways now finds himself at the mercy of a Hollywood establishment that may or may not be inclined to extend forgiveness.

His most immediate issue is with Walt Disney, which is distributing Apocalypto and that also, through its ABC television network, has a development deal with his company to make a miniseries about the Holocaust.

Several prominent critics of The Passion already have stepped forward to suggest that Gibson, who denied there was an anti-Semitic undercurrent in his movie about the last hours in the life of Christ, has now shown his true colors.

"Mel Gibson's apology is unremorseful and insufficient," said Abraham Foxman, national director of the Anti-Defamation League, who added: "His tirade finally reveals his true self and shows that his protestations during the debate over his film The Passion of the Christ that he is such a tolerant, loving person, were a sham."

Foxman called on Hollywood executives to "realize the bigot in their midst" and "distance themselves from this anti-Semite."

Rabbi Abraham Cooper, associate dean of the Simon Wiesenthal Center, urged Gibson to drop the Holocaust project, saying it would be "inappropriate."

Particularly inappropriate, executives feel, is Gibson's proposed marketing campaign, which promises "the feel-good roller-coaster thrill-ride of the autumn!"

Yes, I kick men when they're down. That always seemed to me to be the best time to kick them. If you kick a man who's on his feet, you stand a very good chance of getting beaten senseless.

In all seriousness, though, the Gibson Holocaust minseries always seemed to be a bit of an attempt to molify Hollywood's Jewish community for perceived antisemitism in The Passion. Given Gibson's latest outburst, he can't mollify with such a project anymore.

You can't have a miniseries depicting the horrors of the Holocaust where you're wondering if the producer intends it as a cautionary tale for humanity, or a cautionary tale specifically for the Jews, "who start all the wars."

BTW, I've always been a huge fan of Gibson's -- I can quote just about all twenty of the spoken lines in Road Warrior -- and I defended him through what i believed was an unfair smear campaign during the days of The Passion, so I really take no special joy in running down a man I once thought was pretty damn cool and had a pretty good bead on things.

But the guy hates Jews. It's just the way it is.


Posted by: Ace at 08:32 PM | Comments (100)
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I Can't Fight This Feeling -- Michael
— Ace

A song to express Ace's true emotions about Andrew Sullivan. (Brokeback Mountain Content Warning.)

NOTE: Post edited by Ace, to tuck the video into a hyperlink, in order to spare Michael the embarrassment of screwing up the blog's template. The video was appearing in the left sidebar, for some reason.

Also, I couldn't find the exact live-performance video Michael linked, so I linked one in the spirit he was going for.


PS, Michael: My true feelings for Andrew Sullivan would be better expressed by Elton John's The Bitch Is Back.

Fixed. The glitch was actually that Michael put the YouTube embedded video link in the sidebar, like a moron.

Posted by: Ace at 07:27 PM | Comments (7)
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If You Think I Went Overboard On GG...
— Ace

...you really have to check out the Gospel of St. Andrew of the Sacred Heart-Ache, whose every second post is about the gob-smacking vileness of Mel Gibson and the "Christianist right" and their "theocon agenda" (and also the apparently stealth-antisemite conservative Jews who have made an alliance with same).

I suppose he's entitled to an I-Was-Right-You-Were-Wrong victory lap. I'm hardly above that myself. Not by a long shot.

But one lasting three days long and counting? more...

Posted by: Ace at 07:03 PM | Comments (20)
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Go To Bed, Ace -- Michael
— Ace

Some of you are probably wondering why Ace is posting like a maniac, even after he claimed to be exhausted. Well, I know.

It's all about the SiteMeter.

Normally traffic falls off when Ace has guest posters. But once again, the current guest posters have easily maintained his traffic volumes. Ace is just throwing crap up to share in the glory. And he missed the Castro story because he's not checking his RSS feeds.

Give it up, Ace. We all know who is doing the heavy lifting around here at the moment.

Posted by: Ace at 05:37 PM | Comments (21)
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Bulwer-Lytton Awards For Internet "Slash" Fan-Fic
— Ace

Hokay. The Bulwer-Lytton Awards were established to recognize the worst opening lines in published fiction.

"Slash" fan-fic is a type of lunatic Internet twaddle in which writers, so to speak, write obscenely sexual porn about people from TV shows and movies. For some reason, a lot of women geeks write it, and for some other reason, they seem to prefer homosexual liasons between male characters. The shorthand "slash" derives from their indication of who is involved in the sexual doings: Gimli/Legolas, James Bond/M, etc.

And they seem to have a particular hard-on for "Kirk-slash-Spock" couplings.

Anyway, Something Awful has looked for the worst opening lines in "slash" fan-fic. Content warning, obviously. I don't think there's anything worse than this:

Lennie Briscoe had a case, a case that meant the difference between the bad guys going to jail for a very long time and the perps walking on a technicality, but standing between Briscoe and Justice was DA Jack McCoy and the only way to get him to press charges on the suspects was to make the DA [orgasm] harder than he ever had before, which wasn't an easy task when you had A-list [fellatrices] like, Lt. Van Buren, who had been known to ride a stiff at a crime scene until it came back to life.

Lennie Briscoe.

For the love of everthing holy, the man is dead.

I sort of doubt the physics of using a hobbit as an inserted sexual device, but apparently one can do so, even "until only the little manlet's feet dangle[] out."

I would propose a contest along these lines, but it would be far too depressing and creepy.

Scott sends this homoerotic, Abu Ghraib style "slash" coupling:

Surely there must be an injunction against this in Leviticus somewhere.

Something needs to be done.


Posted by: Ace at 05:17 PM | Comments (16)
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Pray For Fidel -- Michael
— Ace

I'm not sayin' exactly what you should pray for.


By ANITA SNOW, Associated Press Writer, 4 minutes ago

HAVANA - Fidel Castro temporarily relinquished his presidential powers to his brother Raul on Monday night and told Cubans he underwent surgery.

The Cuban leader said he had suffered gastrointestinal bleeding, apparently due to stress from recent public appearances in Argentina and Cuba, according to the letter read live on television by his secretary, Carlos Valenciaga.

What's stressful about a public appearance? This guy is famous for running his yap in front of a microphone and delivering four-hour speeches.


"The operation obligates me to undertake several weeks of rest," the letter read, adding that extreme stress "had provoked in me a sharp intestinal crisis with sustained bleeding that obligated me to undergo a complicated surgical procedure."

Castro said he was temporarily relinquishing the presidency to his younger brother and successor Raul, the defense minister, but said the move was of "a provisional character." There was no immediate appearance or statement by Raul Castro.

I'm thinkin' Raul is saying the same prayers we are. He's been the Commandante-In-Waiting for a long time.

The elder Castro asked that celebrations scheduled for his 80th birthday on Aug. 13 be postponed until Dec. 2, the 50th anniversary of Cuba's Revolutionary Armed Forces.

Hell No! I'm going ahead with the Castro's 80th Birthday Party that I had planned. We already sent out the invitations.

AP - Castro relinquishes power before surgery

Posted by: Ace at 05:16 PM | Comments (22)
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Oh stop it now... I'm okey dokey! [Fidel Castro]
— Ace

whaddabeard.jpg

It's just a formality really, Raul can handle things.

Even though he's a moron. Ok who am I kidding, he's a fucking retard.

Look, I'm not happy about this either. I got a bleedin gut thing and they gotta patch me up. I'm gonna be down for a few weeks.

Raul's a fucking idiot and everybody knows it. What the hell am I gonna do? He's the only brudda I got and Alarcon can't handle this shit.

Besides, Raul's 75. How long can he screw this up?

Oh. Ok, you got me there.

I don't feel so good.

Posted by: Ace at 05:06 PM | Comments (15)
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Outstanding Fake Video Of The Day: Crafty Jews Doctor Targeting-Camera Footage To Make It Look Like Terrorist Rockets Were Being Fired Out of Qana
— Ace

Hey, if you can fake cool video like this, you deserve to control the world.

The JEW is using DOCTORED VIDEO FOOTAGE to MOVE IN ON YOU, and you are left DEFENSELESS.

Via Powerline, who have audio of Rep. John Dingell (D-MI) with a curious answer to a question about Hezbollah.

And not related at all, but I can't help quoting Allah's suggestion that Mel Gibson will be posting at the Huffington Post within a month.

Well, sure. Now that he's not a celebrity anymore, why not?

Correction: As commenters inform me, Dingell is a Representative, and not yet a Senator, Allah be praised.

Posted by: Ace at 04:49 PM | Comments (18)
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What did you just say? Did you just say I inflated our numbers of weapons? Is that what you just said? [Nikita Khrushchev]
— Ace

nikita.jpg

Oh it is fucking ON biyatch!

We had more T-62s, more missiles, more submarines, more bombers than you have socks in your dresser drawer Mr. Ace of Spades! You have no idea. Your pathetic Gary Powers tried to count them all and he cried like a BABY when he saw the truth. Before we shot his impotent tookas out of the skies of the Motherland!

We had more tanks, more toilet paper, more milk, more hubcaps than you can imagine Mr. Ace of NOTHING. Mr. Ace that never shot down five U-2s! So how can you be an ACE of anything? We will bury you. And you will stay buried, and like it!

UPDATE: Who can deal with this fucking Cyrillic alphabet? Not me! That's who. Cause I'm DEAD.

hat tip: jive dancing Mrs. Peel.

Posted by: Ace at 03:43 PM | Comments (7)
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A Question
— Ace

Leftists and Islamofascist apologists always suggest that Israel should simply absorb a certain number of civilian murders per day without reprisal, in the interest of peace. Sort of the cost of doing business -- and you know how Jews love their business.

I'm curious-- why is that no leftist nor Islamofascist apologist suggests the reverse? Why should it not be that Lebanon, or Gaza, or whomever should peacefully absorb a certain number of deaths per day in the interests of peace?

They always say that Israel retaliating "perpetuates the cycle of violence."

Well, Muslim retaliations seem to "perpetuate the cycle of violence," too -- and yet I never seem to hear calls for Muslims to just accept their casualties and turn the other cheek, as is constantly called for with regard to Jewish deaths.

Apparently only some deaths really matter. I guess when you get past six million-- who's really counting anymore? Couple hundred here or there hardly seems to matter, right?


Related... "Mr. Green Hat, seen so prominently carrying bodies out of the destroyed building, always seems available for Hezbollah propaganda pics.

Cool, huh?

Lots of blog chatter about this tireless conveyor of dead children over at Memeorandum.

Allah says we're almost in "Loose Change" territory with this, but no, we're not. There could be an innocent explanation, but terrorist organizations -- and Arab/Muslim thugs generally -- have a proven track record of over the top propaganda, with MSM connivance, of course.

I'd be willing to bet that upward of half of the local stringer reporters and photographers on MSM payrolls are getting more money from Hamas, Hezbollah, the Iraqi "insurgents," Al Qaeda, etc.

It's just a fact that, apart from embassy staffs, reporter corps tend to be the biggest haven of spies and paid operatives in the world.


LA Times' Anti-Israel Bias: Lots of headlines of Lebanese deaths on the front page; not so much about Israeli deaths, nor the hundred-plus rockets raining upon Israeli cities per day.

AIPAC-- can't you guys pay the LA Times like you pay me? If you can throw a couple hundred thousand shekles at me every year for writing this dreck, it seems just messugeneh to not buy off the LA Times, too.

Not that I would presume to give my Zionist Overlords advice. Just sayin'-- it's a smart business move.

Posted by: Ace at 03:41 PM | Comments (32)
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Israeli Strike Hits Milk Factory Morgue?
— Ace

Confederate Yankee is skeptical of the "dead children" photos. He seems to believe that maybe corpses from local morgues have been shipped into to the Qana strike-site as propaganda.

I don't know. The evidence seems sketchy. But it's not like I can vouch for the impeccable reputation of Hizbollah.

But if the first report of the building's collapse did indeed come eight hours after the strike... Well, it does seem implausible that anyone would wait that long to evacuate a bombed building.

Michelle wants to know if Hezbollah has dropped leaflets warning civilians to clear out, as the IDF has.

And of course there's the quite predictable "Muslim fury."

I have this amazing plan to reduce Muslim fury:

Muslim extremists should stop starting wars they can't win and killing civilians indiscriminately.

Want to talk "root causes"? Call me crazy, but the "root cause" of Muslim anger seems to be other Muslims committing atrocities, war crimes, murder, mayhem, and terrorism, and then being stunned and surprised when people actually fight back.

Has This Been Posted Here Yet? I imagine everyone must have seen this. Like the Soviets endlessly parading the same tanks and missile launchers in a circle to suggest greater numbers of such weapons, Hezbollah's buddies seem to take a very long amount of time to move a dead child into an ambulance.

The Silence of the Geneva Conventions: Odd, isn't it, that we only hear about the Geneva Conventions when they can be used as a club to bash America and Israel?

Isn't there some obscure provision in there about armies wearing uniforms and such?

Isn't that, you know, sort of tucked in there for a reason?

I guess not. I suppose it's just a provision having only to do with battlefield fashion.

Comment Of The Day: "Bewildered in Ohio" finally figured it all out. Don't let his onscreen handle fool you.

Call me crazy

Okay, you're fucking nuts. Why are wingnuts so invested in proving that everything Israel does, including obvious human rights violations, are by definition right and lawful? Is Pajamas Media partly financed by AIPAC?

You nailed it, dude. I'm up to my eyeballs in filthy Jew-Money. I'm going to take some of it and buy me a filthy Jew-High-Definition-TV and maybe a filthy Jew-Shower-XM-Radio, because I needs me my satellite broadcasts from Tel Aviv telling me what to write while I'm washin' my junk.

Sandy Berger notes, meanwhile, that he's shilling for the Zionist Pig-Monkey Butchers for free!

Silly.

I'm tellin' ya, these Jews got all the money. "If you prick me, do I not bleed?" Oh, they bleed all right-- cash f'n' money. They may drink the blood of Palestinian babies, but trust me, they bleed US tender. How their metabolic processes manage this I don't know; I figure they're just very crafty or something.

Ka-Ching!
more...

Posted by: Ace at 03:03 PM | Comments (41)
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Resonant Chamber -- Michael
— Ace

OK, this is old, but if you haven't seen Animusic before it's pretty cool.

Posted by: Ace at 02:28 PM | Comments (10)
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Travel Is So Tiring
— Ace

Hi again. I'm back. Sort of. Really exhausted, and of course I still have a lot of important stuff to catch up on (i.e., watching television).

As they say, I need a vacation from my vacation.

I'd like to thank my esteemed guestbloggers, but I'd like not to thank them now, because frankly, I'd like them to keep doing my job for me so long as they're willing. They've done a great job so far.

PS, Deb Frisch is in a full Sol Rosenberg meltdown, claiming she's going to sue me, FoxNews, Brit Hume, and all the people I work with and handle.

I'll have to remember to bring my glasses and my shoes, so I have them.

Not sure why she posted that threat at Patterico's place instead of mine... Oh yeah, because I banned her crazy, child-threatening ass.

Apparently Dr. Debby thinks she can continue her three days of infamy by simply continuing to spam other people's sites with further posts designed to make the Goldstein's feel insecure about their child's safety.

Sorry, Deb. You're an idiot, you have nothing to contribute whatsoever except odd sexual remarks about infants, and if you think you can somehow parlay that into consistent traffic for your site, you're sadly mistaken.

That link leads to her traffic meter, by the way, which is safe to click on, because it doesn't get counted as blog traffic. Thanks to Tom the Pooklekufr for that. It provides a good window into Dr. Debby's continuing need to post sexually-suggestive spam about infant children. She's still got that high from those two days when anyone at all bothered to click on her site, and damnit, she wants that feeling back.

As I instructed you earlier, Dr. Debbie: That wasn't "fifteen minutes of fame," it was instant infamy, and it just shows what an emotionally imbalanced moron you are to confuse the two. It was sad and creepy that you made such remarks the first time; now that you seem determined to continue making them in order to get more (negative) attention, it's beneath pathetic. Building audience requires q little more than creepy threats to children and submoronic poetry about "war$ington, deecee."*

I would pity you, Doc Debby, if I bothered to care about you at all. But I don't.

You really should be working your psychoses out on a psychiatrist's couch, not in the public forum of cyberspace.

A Bit More... Apparently Doctor Debby left this response to a comment on her site:

"No, Bilgeman. I'm not gonna denton myself. But I'm thinking real hard about ramseying you."

Remember, this is the woman who's threatening to sue people for "threatening" her.

She is insane, and needs, desperately, the intervention of the state.

Unrelated: The World's Smallest Cat. Three pounds. Quite frankly, if you put a gun to my head, I would have guessed that's about average cat weight, but they say it's the smallest, so there you go.

The cat's name is "Mr. Peebles," and they say it's named after a ventriloquist doll on Seinfeld. Trouble is, that doll was named "Mr. Marbles."

More likely it's named after "Mr. Peepers," my neighbor's cat, whom I immortalized in my Whoreblogging diary.

Thanks to Ogre Gunner.


* Bulding an audience also requires very stupid posts about misheard lyrics. How about a repost of one of the dumbest posts I've ever written? (Moderate content warning.)

PS, I never really misheard those lyrics. That's what makes this post even stupider.

Posted by: Ace at 02:25 PM | Comments (27)
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Homage to Congers -- Michael
— Ace

Yup, that's got to be a lotta fun to get slapped with one of these puppies:

Posted by: Ace at 01:50 PM | Comments (7)
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Parents of the year return honor after crimes revealed [Dave in Texas]
— Ace

Dad on probation for arson. Obstruction of justice charges pending for witness tampering.

Parent's Day Council looking into the dad's background now, something they "failed to do at the outset".

Shut up, really?

I don't know what kind of throw away award this is. I also don't know why I'm acting like this. This is all new to me. I don't do this for a living.

Hat tip: Craig, possibly CraigC. Developing hard.

UPDATE: It is in fact, CraigC. Indeed.

Posted by: Ace at 01:11 PM | Comments (8)
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No More Conger Cuddling! -- Michael
— Ace

It wasn't civil.

Updated: 2:40 p.m. ET July 31, 2006
LONDON - For more than 30 years, crowds have flocked to the small English fishing village of Lyme Regis to watch an annual tradition — two teams of fishermen standing on wooden platforms as human bowling pins, hurling a dead giant eel at each other.

But the ritual was abruptly abandoned after an animal rights activist threatened to draw negative publicity to the latest tournament, organizers said Saturday.

The practice, known as conger cuddling, is the annual highlight in the small coastal town about 155 miles southwest of London. The object of the game is to knock the opposing team off the platform by swinging a 25-pound eel at them.

Full story here.

Posted by: Ace at 12:02 PM | Comments (22)
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A Few Words for the HQ -- [Ann Coulter]
— Ace

Folks, it's time to butch up. I know the gap has been widening between you and me for a while now, Ace, but seriously, if this weekend is any indication, it's you moving, sweetheart, not me.

What the eff? - Michael thanking Ace, Mel carping about people's mothers, and Jack's pleading for civility? Did civility pay the bills? Not so I'd notice. Moon Pictures? What is this, romancing the stone? And can we bury the Big Dig already? I've got one word for you DDG - liberal bureaucrats! Is it really that hard to understand? And Ace, all the talk of you quitting smacks of a George Lucas marketing campaign for the re-re-re-re-re-re-re-release of Star Wars.

And to think, just 24 hours ago, someone posted this ...

Wow. I just looked at this weekend’s posts. You guest posters abused this blog like a rented Ace’s sister. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

It's sad when Harrison out-mans everyone here with a Formula 1 post. more...

Posted by: Ace at 11:41 AM | Comments (10)
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Al Franken and Civility: A Primer [Jack M.]
— Ace

I see that a great many of you doubt the power of civility. Indeed, many of you have left comments exhibiting, shall we say, a healthy skepticism about the practical applications of the practice.

So, I would like to provide you with an article in which the author, in discussing Al Franken's potential run for a U.S. Senate seat representing Minnesota, comes close to embracing the new attitude I have been advocating for well nigh unto 24 entire hours. As you can see. the employment of civility as a tool makes this a compelling piece for readers of all attitudes.

Sadly, the article also reveals how hard it is to completely rid yourself of the intoxicating nectar of snark. Often, the author chooses to denigrate Mr. Franken and his radio network, Air America. Still, as this article contains both lessons in the artful application of civility and a reminder of what should be avoided, it serves a useful purpose.

Meet Future Senator Al Franken from the North Star State

Think of it as a teachable moment. And know full well that I will be disappointed in you if you take any pleasure whatsoever in the vicious smears and innuendos cast upon Mr. Franken in this article. Now is not the time to revel in such vulgar pursuits. Now is the time to appeal to the higher angels in our character.

Some highlighted examples of civility in practice, as well as examples of opportunities for civility that were missed, are highlighted after the jump. more...

Posted by: Ace at 07:32 AM | Comments (26)
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Cool panoramic moon pics [Dave in Texas]
— Ace

I think I've seen these before, pretty cool. You hold the mouse button down and move it to get the panoramic view.

Funny seeing the shadow of the photographer in all of these.

66 years from Kitty Hawk to the moon folks. That still amazes me.


Hat tip: Brett Bullington

Posted by: Ace at 07:17 AM | Comments (22)
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