May 30, 2007

Alcohol May Have Played A Role
— LauraW.

You know how it is. You're sitting around with your cousin, shootin' the shit, partaking of a beverage or two, and suddenly someone gets stabbed with a pitchfork.

All three men were drinking in their mobile home in the 1200 block of Paseo Derecho around 10 p.m. Sunday, when the two cousins began arguing over who was older.

One of the cousins grabbed a pitchfork, and when the uncle stepped between his nephews, he was stabbed in the arm.

Emphasis mine.
Look, I've seen a lot of family squabbles. I just can't quite figure out how this one could have turned into a full-blown fight. Even in Texas.
One asshole just isn't enough. You really need two complete assholes to take this one to the physical level.

"Naaaww...bitch, I don't care what that driver'sh lishense saysh...bullshit, you don't remember when I was born, I 'amember whe YOU were born...you were, you were, real small, an' wrapped in a blan-(hic), blan-(hic), blanket...oh, sure, CALL AUNT CATHY. FINE. FINE. CALL AUNT CATHY, she alwaysh takes your fuckin' side, doeshen't she, bitch. BRAAAAPPP. PUT DOWN THE PHONE (SCUFFLE ENSUES)"

Thanks to eddiebear.

Posted by: LauraW. at 11:19 AM | Comments (13)
Post contains 201 words, total size 1 kb.

1 And I thought only wimmins were interested in their age.

Posted by: eddiebear at May 30, 2007 11:27 AM (wnU1W)

2

All three men were drinking in their mobile home in the 1200 block of Paseo Derecho around 10 p.m. Sunday, when the two cousins began arguing over who was older.


You simply can't make shit like that up.  Un-freakin'-believable, even here in Texas.


Posted by: Riverwalk Gambler at May 30, 2007 11:28 AM (kVUW4)

3 I don't think I have any kin in Texas - I better check, just to be safe.

Posted by: Frankly at May 30, 2007 11:38 AM (Q8tsb)

4 That's even stupider than being shot arguing over a chicken wing.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 30, 2007 11:42 AM (tVbxd)

5 The pitchfork was closer than the calendar.

Posted by: Phelps at May 30, 2007 12:00 PM (QSNKk)

6

You say pitchfork, I say trident.


Posted by: The "real" older cousin at May 30, 2007 12:08 PM (EKMxC)

7 This is a story where the writer's use of the term "in their mobile home" was totally unnecessary.

Posted by: Eno at May 30, 2007 12:18 PM (ulohU)

8

The pitchfork was in the home?  Good Lord, what were they doing with that there, why would they need a pitchfork in the home?


Posted by: Mikey NTH at May 30, 2007 12:39 PM (TuKBW)

9 why would they need a pitchfork in the home?

To clean the hay out of the chicken coop in the family room, of course.  Shit, don't you know nothin'?

Posted by: Alex at May 30, 2007 12:43 PM (fgyj8)

10 There goes my property value...

Posted by: joe jimmy bob earl at May 30, 2007 01:09 PM (ZVwDj)

11

All three men were drinking in their mobile home


After that opening- ANYTHING is possible.


 


Posted by: captkidney at May 30, 2007 02:44 PM (cb2+E)

12 When they sober up, Aunt Cathy is gonna smack both of them boys upside the head.

Posted by: Michael at May 30, 2007 03:08 PM (nd3nZ)

13 You know how it is. You're sitting around with your cousin, shootin' the shit, partaking of a beverage or two, and suddenly someone gets stabbed with a pitchfork.

Da-dum-da-da-dum...THE CHORES!

Posted by: cheshirecat at May 30, 2007 06:34 PM (YWoDC)

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